ChubbyBaby's Check In

[ChubbyBaby]

Start date: Dec. 27, 2010
Stats: 47 year old female- 5'8"-193 lbs

I'm new to the S diet so I'm going to start by going for the 21 day club.

Day 1: Success
Day 2: Success
Day 3: Success
Day 4: Success
Day 5: Exempt -New Year's Eve
Day 6: Exempt
Day 7: Exempt

Observations: I was pretty pleased by the end of Day 4. I've been used to eating low carb, so having some newfound freedom to eat carbs again made my N days feel like I was cheating. I am concerned though about adding too many carbs back into my diet because I know how they make me physically feel....shakey by mid morning, sleepy in the afternoon, stuffed in the evening, and sleepless in the middle of the night. So, to retrain myself to think about food in a more healthy way I am adding carbs to my meals, but I am going to restrict them to non-refined carbs, like fruits & vegetables, whole grains, nuts & dairy, and only allowing myself refined carbs on S days. But...no counting, no weighing, no measuring, no food journaling...yay!

Watching my carb intake isn't only a weight loss issue for me. I've definitely got hypoglycemic tendencies and I was a gestational diabetic, on insulin, for both of my pregnancies. Eating low carb helps me to control my hunger, which has been a major struggle for most of my life. I chose the username ChubbyBaby because I really was! I've been an overeater since infancy. I don't have a sweet tooth, and I don't regularly induldge in sweets. My problem has always been with second helpings, overeating and snacking, so it was a challenge to not snack this week, but I stuck to it and feel great about that success.

By the end of day 7 I wasn't quite so happy. I knew that this would be a rough weekend due to the extra S day, the holidays, and my newness to the plan, but wow!! I really gorged myself! It was like I flipped a mental switch and went totally out of control. This actually shocked me and I didn't like it. I've been dieting all my life, and low carbing for the past 15 years so I have had my share of going off plan, binge worthy moments, but always with the knowledge that I was breaking the rules. This time, it was different because I really wasn't breaking any rules and that was disturbing to me. I know that to make this successful long term I am going to need to control myself on S days, so my lack of control frightened me. The next dumb thing I did was weigh myself this morning, and sadly I now weigh even more than when I started last week. I know that I shouldn't be weighing so soon, and I know that the scale is really out of my control and will fluctuate, and that I need to focus on the habit of N days at this point, but it was still really discouraging. I'm going to keep going though and evaluate at the end of Day 21. I spent some time this weekend listening to Reinhard's podcasts and got lots of great information and some ideas on how to handle S days in the future.

[oolala53]

Yes, those wild S days can be demoralizing. I wonder how the weekend went for you? I hope you're not throwing in the towel, because then maybe I should and I really don't know what else I would do. Did you look at the sticky topic about the phases of No S?

Anyway, hope to see you back here soon, with whatever news you have. I don't want to scare you, but I had trouble with S days the whole year last year. However, I don't think it was the fault of No S. I think I would be just as bad, if not worse, on any other plan, so here I stay. I did do better this past weekend and am more determined to make S days work in 2011. I didn't have perfect compliance on N days all year, but so much better than 2009 that I am happy with my progress and confident that things will get better. I also lost 17 lbs. last year with no regular exercise and many crazy S days. And I was a hard core binger before that. So there's hope.

[ChubbyBaby]

Day 8 - Success
Day 9 - Success
Day 10 - Success

It's going great so far! I'm pretty hungry during the afternoons but I've managed to tough it out. On Day 8 I must have had a lighter lunch because I started feeling hungry around 2 p.m. and I don't normally eat supper until 5:30 - 6 p.m. When I felt that first hunger pang and looked at the clock I immediately thought..."Oh NO!" It was a very looong afternoon, but I did it. The next day I made a point of eating more for lunch, but I'm still dealing with hunger for several hours every afternoon, and it's tough.

Today when I was making supper I had to hurry and get out of the kitchen because everywhere I looked there was food that would have been so easy to nibble on. I can do it...

[oolala53]

I'm impressed that you are making it through the afternoons being so hungry. Just out of curiosity, is it stomach-empty hunger or just the urge to eat? I find that I get the urge to eat around 3 or 3:30 p.m., but it's not really hunger. However, if I do get hungry, say, around 4 p.m., I have a cup of decaf with milk. I do have some days on which I just tolerate it; from reading your posts, I'm thinking I should push myself to do that more often, just to see if it can become a habit.

Two more days until an S day.

[ChubbyBaby]

Day 11 - Success

It's real hunger. Empty-stomach, growling-stomach hunger, and I really hope it gets better soon.

Oolala, it's funny you said that about skipping your decaf, because today I had a decaf tea with a splash of cream about mid-afternoon and that helped a bit. It's not against the rules, and if it keeps you successful I say don't change it!

I've also been eating really big platefuls at lunch and supper to ward off the hunger. I know it's okay in the beginning, but I feel guilty doing it. It seems like what I am doing is eating my regular meal and then cramming what would have been my later snack onto my meal plate. It all fits....honestly. I'm pretty doubtful that I'm creating any kind of a calorie defecit at this point, but for the first 21 days I'm working on changing the habits. I'll work on the portion sizes later.

[oolala53]

It's really okay to have what seems like larger meals to start, unless you were eating gargantuan meals before and are eating even more now. I used to have light snacks morning and afternoon before No S and at first I added some of that food to my meals. Now, I eat less at my meals. It was a natural progression. Let the system help direct you but don't assume it's all going to get figured out in a couple of weeks. It's smart not to worry about calorie deficits yet.

[ChubbyBaby]

Day 12 - Success
Day 13 - S Day
Day 14 - S Day

Warning...I'm going to rant.

So, technically I had a good week. I followed the S diet rules and so it was a "success", but somehow though, I don't feel very successful. I don't feel like I am going in the right direction. I understand that the focus right now is to change my habits, but I feel like I have taken a step backwards as far as healthy eating is concerned. You see, for years I've focused on what I ate instead of when and how much. Now I have changed my focus to when and how much I am eating, instead of what I am eating (with the exception of sweets). I'm not sure that this is right. Have I swung the pendulum too far in the opposite direction? I really think I need to be working on all three things at the same time....when, how much and what.

Taking the emphasis off of what I am eating has given me too much freedom to indulge myself at mealtimes. Because the quality of the food was an important part of my old weight loss routine, I used to be careful to eat from several food groups at each meal and include a lot of vegetables. Now that I have this new permission to eat whatever I want I have noticed that my food choices have degraded into eating nothing but junk. I hardly ate any vegetables all week, because I just didn't feel like it. I also ate pizza, breaded chicken strips, baked lasagne, deep fried fish and chips and hamburgers and fries, because I felt like it, and because these are all allowed on N days. To be honest, it all made me feel like crap! Seriously...how can eating one large plate of fish and chips for lunch...with no afternoon snack... be better for me than eating a large tuna salad for lunch... and then having a yogurt, an apple and some walnuts for an afternoon snack? Yes, I was overeating on my old diet and so I need to learn to eliminate the snacking and the second helpings, but giving myself free reign to eat whatever I want at mealtimes is not going to help me.

I know we aren't supposed to put any other restrictions on ourselves because they are too hard to maintain in the long run, and in the beginning we are to concentrate on the habits, and worry about nutrition later...but seriously...I am not happy with how I am eating right now. Perhaps it's PMS, or perhaps it's the sudden addition of extra carbs to my diet, but I feel terrible and am almost certain that I have been gaining weight.

On top of the crappy food choices I have been making I also know that I have been overeating at mealtimes...even though I have honestly kept my meal to one physical plate of food. I have purposely been eating larger meals to help me make it through to the next meal, but I know that I can't continue to do this. To sum up this past week I was either stuffed and bloated, or absolutely starving, and I hated it.

So, after all my ranting, I am not going to quit. I am going to finish my 21 days and see where I am at. I am also going to try to eat better this week. Just because this diet gives me the freedom to eat whatever I want doesn't mean I have to eat garbage. I can choose. Learning to control myself and not giving into the pleasure of the moment is also a habit that I need to develop and it shouldn't be ignored.

[ChubbyBaby]

Day 15 - Success
Day 16 - Success
Day 17 - Success
Day 18 - Success

Three more days to go to make the 21 day club.

I ate better quality food this week but am still overeating at mealtimes - even though I am keeping it at one plateful. I know that I'm not losing any weight either so I'm feeling very discouraged.

[ChubbyBaby]

Day 19- Success
Day 20- S Day
Day 21- S Day

Starting weight: 193
Ending weight: 195


Yay! I made my first 21 days. That's the good news. The bad news is that I gained 2 lbs. I'm not very happy about that, but I am not going to focus on that. Instead I am going to focus on the fact that I was able to do 21 days perfectly, right off the bat, because I know there are many people who have not been able to do that. I am also going to focus on the fact that I have got a very good foundation in place and am now able to build on it.

I spent all day yesterday reading older posts on the bulletin board and learned a ton of great things. I learned that there are lots of people who don't lose in their first few weeks and many who gained. I learned that I have a TON of mental baggage related to eating and weight loss that I need to get rid of. Most importantly, I learned that food quantity is what determines weight loss, not food quality. Food quality has more to do with health, and this is something that I have to relearn. For years I have been convinced that food quality (ie. too many carbs) is what affects weight loss, and this really isn't true. I've actually experienced this in real life a few years ago when I lost a bunch of weight because I was sick and couldn't eat, but didn't really want to admit it because it means depriving myself. I wanted to put the blame on the food instead of on my own gluttony, where it rightfully belongs.

So, going forward I am going to work on portion sizes.

[ChubbyBaby]

21 Day Challenge #2
Starting Weight 195.5
Jan 17/11 - Day 1 - Success
Jan 18/11 - Day 2 - Success

I've been spending so much time on the board in the last few days that my eyes are sore. I can't tell you how good it has been for me though! I've learned some things I didn't know, and I've read some things that I really needed to read. It has been eye opening.

For years I was absolutely convinced that a low carb diet was the only way for me to lose weight. Although I still believe that carb consumption does play a part, I am learning that it may not be as important for weight loss as I though it was. I haven't wanted to admit that to myself, because sticking to a low carb diet meant that I could eat as much as I wanted. It gave me permission to continue being a glutton. I didn't even realize I was a glutton until I found the No S diet. Now that I know, I am embarrassed, saddened, and highly motivated to change.

I've also been thinking a lot about my past eating and dieting history. Someday I may write it all down, but for now I just want to say that I've finally come to the place where I can admit that overeating is the major cause of my struggles with weight. Years ago, when I realized that I was having blood sugar problems I jumped on the low carb bandwagon because it seemed to be the answer to my problems. It seemed that I had found the culprit to blame. I was blaming my blood sugar spikes and swings on the carbs...but now I am wondering if overeating in general doesn't cause the same thing. I think that watching the type of carbs I eat will still be important, but the main thing I need to watch is the amount of food I am eating. As Reinhard says...it isn't the carrots that make you fat, it's the carrot cake, and the fact that you eat so damn much of the carrot cake. This really hit home for me. So, so true.

Okay, now that I know, it's time to grow up and stop playing the blame game. It's time to stop blaming the carbs, or my genetics, or my mother, or my childhood eating habits. It's time to put the blame squarely on myself and my gluttony, and it's time to change.

[ChubbyBaby]

Jan 19/11 - Day 3 - Success
Jan 20/11 - Day 4 - Success
Jan 21/11 - Day 5 - Success
End of week weigh in - 195.5 - maintained

This week I worked on portion control. I organized a few intelligent dietary defaults for breakfast and lunch and calculated the calories in these. Generally my breakfasts are around 500 calories and my lunches around 600 calories. I decided not to calculate my supper calories at this point and just try to keep my plate at 1/2 vegetables and fruit, 1/4 carbs and 1/4 protein. By the time I got all that figured out the week was almost over, but on Days 3 & 4 I ate pretty much at those levels. On Day 5 I ate out for lunch, and I have no idea what the approximate calories were. I know that it was higher than usual because I wasn't hungry until supper. I stuck to my one plate though, so it's still a success.

Next week I am going to really watch my portions and see how it goes.

[ChubbyBaby]

Jan 22/11 - Day 6 - S Day
Jan 23/11 - Day 7 - S Day

Wow, so now I know what S day's gone wild is all about. Saturday wasn't too bad. The day was normal, with breakfast and lunch, but then for supper I had a large amount of home made pizza, and then went out for ice cream. Okay, this was bad, but not too terrible. Sunday was a different story. Breakfast was fine, but the rest of my regular daily meals were non-existant. I've never been one to permasnack, but that is what happened on Sunday. I grazed all day on potato chips, dip, and carmel bread pudding, and it made me feel just terrible.

This behaviour is not like me and I don't like it. On any previous diet I've never had permission to toss the rules for any amount of time. The results of this new freedom are just horrifying me! Is this really a character/gluttony issue, or is something else going on here? I do know the answer to this but it's something I was hoping to get away from.

With these questions in mind I spent some more time this weekend reading previous bulletin board posts. I was really impressed with connorcream's journey. She is approximately my age and was my starting weight, so I could really relate. However, after reading her story I got depressed because I know that I can't do what she did. Let me rephrase that. I can do what she did... but I do not want to. I've been there, and done that, and I know that it isn't sustainable for me. I've been on Weight Watchers several times during my life, and was never able to reach my goal because I just couldn't live with the constant hunger. Then, a few years ago, due to a health issue, I lost a large amount of weight, very quickly, on a very low calorie diet. As soon as I started eating normally again I gained it back, and here I am today, right back where I started. The hunger battle is one that I have fought for years and is the major cause of my weight issues, but I refuse to live in a state of constant hunger. The same goes for brightangel's story. I really admire these two women and am so impressed with their incredible will power, but I can't do what they are doing. This is why I am here at the No-S diet. I need to find something that is sustainable.

I also found it very interesting that both of these women are investigating low carb eating. I've also been there and done that, and unfortunately I am still looking for the answer. Eating low carb really helps me control my hunger, but again, it's very difficult to sustain for the rest of your life.

After eating low carb for the last 15 years I found that I was not able to lose weight any more. This is not an uncommon occurance amongst low carbers either, and there doesn't seem to be an answer for why this happens. I have been thinking a lot about whether a low carb diets must also be low calorie to continue to be effective, but I'm not sure that this is the answer either. I remember reading, on a low carb board, many low carb dieters who hit stalls often try to reduce their calories in an attempt to get their weight loss going again. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's also difficult to eat low carb, and low calorie at the same time. Bacon may be low carb, but it's also very high calorie. And would this approach be sustainable over a lifetime? A low calorie, low carb approach severely restricts the amounts/types of foods that you can eat.

I'm really glad that I read brightangel's summary of Gary Taube's book. It got me thinking about why I started eating low carb in the first place. Of course it was for the weight loss, but another reason that I keep forgetting is that I have a very high risk to develop type II diabetes. However, when I eat low carb my blood sugar issues disappear, and I forget about this fact. I eventually get tired of the low carb food and start eating carbs again. These last few weeks on the No S diet have shown me, once again, that I have to restrict my carb intake. Not only have I been gaining weight, I have been feeling sleepy and lethargic during the day, awake at night, and having terrible carb cravings. I have to stop kidding myself here and fact the fact that this isn't a gluttony issue. This is a legitimate disorder and I need to accept the fact that I have to live with this for the rest of my life. It's really not any different than someone with celiac, who can't eat wheat products...ever.

I also have to face the fact that I do have gluttony issues, on top of blood sugar issues, so I am thankful to the No-S diet for bringing that to my attention. Limiting myself to single plate servings and no snacks is something I really needed to do. The S days concept is where I have to make some changes. As much as I wanted to stick to vanilla No S I just can't and will have to make a modification. This is what I am going to do. On a regular S days, like Saturday and Sunday, I have to stick to eating low carb. Perhaps I can reward myself with low carb deserts instead of a trip to Dairy Queen. Then, when I have some kind of a major S day, like Christmas, or a major family gathering, or some other event where I am not in control of the food choices, I can use the "Sometimes" clause. This should be an extremely rare event though.

I have to change my way of thinking about low carbing. Even though weight loss is the main reason most people go low carb, I have to eat low carb for health reasons. That has to be my number 1 priority. Eating low carb for weight loss only may not be sustainable, but eating low carb for health has to be. From reading this board I've realized that weight loss occurs because of food quantity, not food quality, so I have to separate those two things in my mind. Eating low carb will help me control my hunger and therefore my overeating, and the No-S diet will give me a natural portion control method that will also help me manage my food quantity. I think they will work well together.

So, this week my goal has changed I am going to work on getting back to a low carb diet, while following the No-S rules. I am also going to change my next S days so that I remain low carb, but relax on the snacks and seconds rules. I'm feeling hopeful.

[ChubbyBaby]

Jan 24/11 - Day 8 - Success
Jan 25/11 - Day 9 - Failure

Crap...my first failure day. I don't know what happened, but yesterday afternoon I was so hungry by 3 p.m. that I thought I was going to chew my arm off! I also knew that I wasn't going to be able to have supper until 6 p.m., so I caved in and had a mid-afternoon snack. I had some cheese and a few nuts. The good news is that I was able to stop there, and then get back on track for the rest of the day. I am mad at myself for messing up my green streak, but I'm not worried that I sabotaged my diet, or set myself off on an uncontrollable binge-fest. I've been eating low carb this week with the hopes that it will control my hunger better...and I know it will...but I think what happened yesterday was my body adjusting from my wild S day on Sunday. I know it takes several days for the effects of that to wear off. So, I'm just going to move on and keep on doing what I've been doing.

I guess this means I have to start my 21 day challenge over again. Darn!

[BrightAngel]

I'm really glad that I read brightangel's summary of Gary Taube's book.

I am going to work on getting back to a low carb diet,
while following the No-S rules.
I am also going to change my next S days so that I remain low carb,
but relax on the snacks and seconds rules.
I'm feeling hopeful.

I'm glad that you were helped by my summary.
Be sure to ALSO buy the book and read it,
because there is much the summary couldn't cover.

It sounds like you have made a good plan for yourself.
If I understand it....

You will be following No-S, with a low-carb modification.
On the majority of "S" days,
you will stay low-carb but will give yourself the freedom to eat snacks and seconds.

Let us know how it goes.

[ChubbyBaby]

Jan 26/11 - Day 1 - Success
Jan 27/11 - Day 2 - Success
Jan 28/11 - Day 3 - Success
Jan 29/11 - Day 4 - S Day
Jan 30/11 - Day 5 - S Day

Weigh In - 193.5 lbs

Starting over with my second 21 day challenge, with my new low-carb mod. So far so good, and I'm happy to report that I'm almost back down to my original starting weight. It went well this week, and I'm feel much better physically, and in better control of my eating. I really did miss the carbs this week though. It was nice to have indulged for a short time, but I the results of that indulgence are not worth it to me. I know that I do so much better without them.

I've eaten low-carb for many years, but was at the point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Reinhard's comments about low-carbing being not sustainable really hit home with me. However, this time away from low-carbing has given me a new perspective. Perhaps eating low-carb isn't sustainable for the average person if their decision to low-carb is based on personal choice alone. When it gets tough and boring, it's easy to change your mind. For me, I don't have the luxury of a choice. I have an insulin disorder and need to eat this way not only for weight loss reasons, but for health reasons. Having this fact firmly established in my mind is going to be crucial for me to stick with this way of eating over the long haul.

I started listening to the book cd of "Why We Get Fat" (my first audiodidact project ) I'm enjoying it very much so far and it is only solidifying my resolve to return to eating low-carb. Thanks BrightAngel!

The hardest part about this past week was sticking to the No-S rules! There were several times this week when I was still very hungry between meals and wanted a snack. Near the end of the week that got better because of the low-carbing, but it was tough at first. My weekend was still hard too. My "No-S" self was telling me that it was an S day and that I could eat chips and ice cream if I wanted to. My "low-carb" self was telling me I could have lovely low-carb deserts and snacks anytime, but in a sulky, feeling-sorry-for-myself way. So, on Saturday I had a lovely low carb desert and was quite satisfied. On Sunday, my husband pulled out the chips and I broke down and had some, but controlled myself enough to only have a small serving, and then went off to have some bacon puffs and dip. By the end of Sunday night I wasn't hungry at all, but I felt good, not like I'd felt the last few Sunday evenings, and this morning when I stepped on the scale I was rewarded with good results.

[ChubbyBaby]

February 14/11 - 193

It's been awhile since I've checked in! I've been dealing with sick children in my house for the past two weeks, and haven't been at my computer much. This also means that I haven't been keeping track of my second 21 day attempt very well, so I've decided to not worry about it right now and just track on my habitcal.

The diet is going well. I've been continuing to follow the No-S diet with my low-carb modification. This past week I noticed a huge improvement in my hunger levels and found myself actually not wanting to eat at a few meals. This is HUGE for me because I'm never not hungry!! I've also managed to stick to eating low carb over the weekends, but have allowed myself to have low carb snacks, seconds and low carb sweets on the weekend. I know that this past weekend I was over my carb allowance due to the extra treats, but I'm okay with that. I consider it a victory that I didn't join the rest of my family in eating chips and chocolate. Unfortunately it showed on the scale this morning. Last Monday I was down to 192, but today I'm back up a bit. No worries though. It's a small amount.

The No S diet is really helping me stick to my low carb eating too. It's so much easier to keep my carbs within my allowed range when I'm not snacking during the day. This is a great combination for me.

[oolala53]

How are you doing with No S? Did it get so easy you felt like it was pointless to keep writing aobut it or did life get in the way?

[ChubbyBaby]

I'm back.

So, the year didn't go very well for me. I pretty much gave up on NoS after my last post. I was having a serious mental struggle between the concepts of low carbing v.s. calorie restriction. I've been low carbing for 15 years and have spent a lot of time immersing myself in that way of thinking and as a result it's been very hard for me to undo some ingrained habits. I still haven't figured it all out, but I'm back here for a couple of reasons.

Earlier this year, several friends of mine, who were very obese, went on calorie restrictive diets, and they all lost large amounts of weight. One of these is a very dear friend of mine. I'd been preaching the low-carb mantra to her for years and she politely listened, but never took my advice. After seeing her melt away I ended up being the one asking her for advice!

After this I tried to recommit to a very strict low carb diet. The results were predictable for me. I lost an initial 5 lbs, and then stalled out for 2 months, and then gained it back, plus a couple more. During this time I scoured all my low carb books and websites for answers as to why low carbing wasn't working for me anymore. Buried in the pages of these books and websites was the simple truth that "we don't count calories, but calories do count". I'd seen this before, but willfully ignored it because I didn't want it to be true. I still believe in eating lc for health reasons (I have blood sugar issues), and to help control hunger, but it just doesn't work for me for losing weight. I need to restrict calories.

So, I purchased Diet Power and played around with calorie counting. I tried to create a habit of logging my meals, but quickly realized that I didn't want to be chained to my computer every time I ate something. Overall it was a useful experience because now I have a pretty good idea of how many calories I was eating while doing lc. I did try to restrict my calories during this time but just couldn't seem to do it. I struggled with hunger, and I struggled with the accuracy required and the time involved. I came back here because I want to find an easier way to restrict calories without all the accounting.

Yesterday I read through all the old posts I'd missed over the past year and I got very inspired. I also learned that I have a serious fear of hunger. This has always been my problem and leads me to overeat. I don't have a problem with sweets, but I really struggle with snacks and seconds. I need to deal with that fear. I still need to watch my carb intake (even on S days) because I know that limiting them helps control my hunger levels, but I have to stop trying to totally eliminate hunger.

Anyway, that's where I am at today. I know that I am still going to struggle with this duality in my thinking and ultimately I want to find a way to reconcile them. It is my hope that NoS is the way to do that. Wish me luck!

[oolala53]

Glad to hear you say you are willing to confront hunger. It is not the monster you think, although you may have a HABIT of responding to it in certain ways. But there is really nothing that says we have to wolf our food when we are hungry. I find nowadays that I am just as likely to get full faster when I am very hungry than overeat, esp, if I insist on savoring my food. It is really all habit. And after two years, I find this eating season being able to stay green as much from the desire to protect my appetite for real, rather than just saying it. I wanted to get hungry and enjoy the next savory meal, even though sweets were (and to some degree still are) my thing.

It really is worth the time it's going to take to get over the hump. Honestly, it amounts to a few hours of mental grappling a day at most, and it won't likely be every day after a week or less. Compared to other maladies, it's not bad. It's really not worse than a cold, but the difference is we just have to suffer through the cold; we can stave off the symptoms too easily with food, so we end up actually extending the time of suffering! See it if helps to think of being "sick" with some unpleasant symptoms for a week at a time; I'd bet you start "recovering" around then and it will be easier to manage the discomfort.

[ChubbyBaby]

Thanks for the encouragement Oolala!

When I was a teenager, growing up in the 70's, my family only ever ate 3 meals a day. We never snacked. Unfortunately, I remember being STARVING all the time! By supper time I would be so hungry that I would stuff myself with a massive plate of food, usually go for seconds, and then eat a sugary desert (every night). This set me up for a lifelong habit of overeating, especially at supper. It also set me up for a lifelong struggle with my weight.

Later on, as an adult, my doctor told me to snack every two hours to avoid the ravenous hunger. I did, BUT I also continued to eat my large suppers. This only caused me to get bigger and bigger. And it didn't seem to solve my hunger problem.

When I discovered low carbing I finally thought I found the answer to my problem of excessive hunger. Looking back I now realize that when I was a kid and young adult, my breakfasts and lunches were very light and consisted mainly of carbs. Breakfast was usually cereal with sugar, and some fruit juice. Lunch was usually a sandwich (one paper thin slice of meat) and cookies and fruit. It's no wonder I was so hungry all the time! Once I started to control my carbs I found that I was able to control my hunger. I felt so much better, and I even initially dropped some weight. That is why I stuck with a lc diet for the past 15 years. Sadly, even though I learned how to control my hunger, I still kept up the habit of snacking and overeating, and I am now at the point where eating lc no longer helps me lose weight. I really need to lose weight!

The NoS diet gives me hope that I can eliminate the overeating and control the calories in a sane, sensible way, but it also really terrifies me because of the restriction on snacking and seconds, and only sticking to three meals. It reminds me too much of my hungry childhood days. I'm going to try though. Low carb eating will help me to control the physical hunger. The NoS diet, I pray, will help me conquer my fear of hunger and control the bad habits I have formed over the years.

Last time I tried the NoS diet I initially threw out the low carb idea, but this was a mistake for me. It led me to stuffing myself at meals, and bingeing on the weekends. This time around I am being more careful. I am making sure my meals are high in fat, moderate in protein and lower in carb. I am not counting carbs, but I am watching the quality and quantity. Maybe, down the road, I can relax on this more, but for now, until I have formed some solid habits, I need to be careful. I am also having lots of tea with milk between meals and so far this has been working. I've been hungry, but it hasn't been unbearable. I haven't had an S day weekend yet, and I am nervous about it, but I will try to be more careful here too. I am going to try to pre-plan any special treats, and use the Reinhard's new snacking mod.

[ChubbyBaby]

First week of N days finished and all were green. I'm also down 3.5 lbs. Yay!

Now, to tackle my first weekend. I have two Christmas functions to attend so my strategy is to just stick to my normal N day routine, but allow myself to have desert at the functions. No random snacking.

[ChubbyBaby]

I got through my first S weekend fairly well.

Saturday was a good day. I had my normal breakfast, but then skipped lunch because I had to go to a music recital. After the recital there was a buffet table, which I handled well. I had a small plate of goodies with no guilt. Later that day my husband and I went out for supper. I only ate half my meal, not because I was trying to be a martyr, but because it was very filling. I had a carby lasagne and a small ice cream for desert. I felt in control and enjoyed every bite. It was a very nice S day.

Sunday was a bit more challenging. I had my normal breakfast. Lunch was quite late but I stuck to one plate. I had a small protein snack later in the afternoon because I had to go to another music concert and knew that I would have to miss supper. This was when I ran into problems. By the time the concert was over I was starving, and all that was available to eat after the concert was a desert buffet, and I ended up loading my plate. Even after that I was still hungry, so I stopped at McDonalds for a burger on the way home.

It was an unusual weekend for me, because of all the functions I had to attend that messed up my normal meal routine, but I'm counting it as a success and moving on.

[ChubbyBaby]

Success!

B: cheese omelet, bacon, coffee with cream
L: spinach salad with chicken breast, mandarin orange, diet coke
S: beef vegetable stew, greek yogurt with blueberries and walnuts, tea

I've been invited over to a new friends house this afternoon for a visit. I'm sure she's going to offer me something to eat, so I'm going to use a standard excuse out of the NoS book..."No thanks, I just ate and I'm full, but can I take one and save it for later?" I hope I can be strong.

[ChubbyBaby]

Success. I made it through my visit with no problems.

I'm pleased that I haven't been having too much trouble sticking to three meals and no snacks so far. I just haven't been as hungry as I thought I would be. I've added more fat to my meals this time around, and my plates are still pretty full, so this must be helping. I'm worried that I'm still eating too much overall though, but my main goal right now is to stick to NoS through Christmas and New Years and not gain any weight. I'll look at plate volume later on.

I may not post for a few days because we are leaving town for the holidays.

B: cheese omelet, bacon, coffee with cream
L: leftover beef and vegetable stew, apple slices and peanut butter
S: tilapia fillet, green beans, rice, greek yogurt with strawberries and walnuts

[ChubbyBaby]

I''m back home from holidays and ready to get back on track. I scheduled 2 extra S days during the past week because I was visiting relatives and was not in control of all the eating situations. I didn't do too bad over the weekend, but noticed that my eating control deteriorated as the days went by. On my last S day I found myself face down in the chocolate box. Yikes!! I've also already had one fail day since I got home. I am paying for my overindulgences today with a sick tummy and a massive headache, and this is motiviating me to get back on track. I don't have any more company coming, or places to visit, so I don't have any more excuses either. Today is a new day and I am back to business.

I also ready "Mindless Eating" over the holiday's and enjoyed it tremendously! I've learned that I am a "meal stuffer" and am planning to try some of the author's strategies to help me. Great book!

[ChubbyBaby]

Success!

Back on track and feeling better (except I still have a nasty headache!). I did great yesterday even though my entire family was gorging on chocolates all around me, and I was hungry! I'm proud of myself for not caving in. It was hard though. I even woke up twice during the night due to a growling stomach!

B: ham, 2 eggs, juice
L: tuna salad, croissant, mandarine orange
S: spaghetti squash, meatballs and tomato sauce, yogurt & blueberries
NO SNACKS AND NO CHOCOLATE!

[ChubbyBaby]

Mental note to self: Don't weigh in on Monday! (especially after the holidays)

I really hoped I could maintain over the holidays, but this morning's weigh in told me that I didn't. The sad fact is that I'm up 6.5 lbs from two weeks ago!!!

I took two extra S days over the holidays, and had 2 fail days, so I guess this is what did it. Mentally I know that it's probably mostly water retention and after a few days of normal eating it will balance out, but I'm still feeling freaked out today and panicky. Everything in me is screaming "drop the carbs", or "get over to Weight Watchers immediately", but I am trying really hard to ignore it.

I think I need to detox from all the crap I ate this weekend because I seriously feel like crying...

[oolala53]

I know those thoughts and feelings and I am convinced they are habits (read "brain patterns") that are connected to the chemicals in our systems from overeating. I hope you see that as good news. What it means is they do not represent any truth. They are just the chemicals talkin'!

Please don't panic. Please give yourself time to develop the skill of determining what balance and amounts of food types are going to satisfy you, and know that that will evolve. Flylady says "You are not behind! I don't want you to catch up. I want to you to jump in right where you are!" This applies to No S, too. I swear, if you really make N days green, and over a period of MONTHS (possibly many) of experiencing full meals AND hunger AND work on savoring your food in every situation, you are going to get tired of overeating. Some people have this happen faster than others and I am totally convinced that there is not a better way of speeding up the process than learning to tolerate longer gaps between SATISFYING meals. I don't mean to be mean about anyone's experience, but only listen politely to anyone who has not been at it a year or more. Two years or more is better. Listening to them seriously is like listening to newlyweds on how to have a happy marriage. You thank them and appreciate their perspective, but you know you need to hear from those who have weathered the storms!

I highly recommend re-reading the post "Phases of No S as I see them" often.

I got a lot of help from the thinking strategies in Beck's work but ignored her emphasis on calorie counting.

I gently suggest that you re-think what your real ultimate goal is. Is it to lose weight or feel more free around food? I'm on Sparkpeople and see so many women there who have gotten to goal but are terrified of food even years into maintenance. They can't stand the thought of gaining more than 5 lbs. and are freaked if they can't exercise 6 days a week. They don't trust themselves to eyeball an amount of food they will be satisfied with. Granted, some of them have lost 150 lbs. or more and perhaps I don't understand their challenges. I only know I am not going to live like that. I have a feeling you don't want to, either.

Don't mean to go on and on, but I see FREEDOM in your future and it is exciting! I will be posting a testimonial in the next week and will be saying a lot of this again.

In the meantime, may I also gently suggest you also pay attention to everything else in life that matters. (This is part of Beck and others' emphasis on distraction, or it is part of seeing the big picture, or whatever else works for you.) It is a fine balancing act to have mastering food as a goal and to realize that we are absolutely lovable and worthy and SO MUCH MORE than this struggle right this instant!


Lastly, I am very aware that I may have more storms myself in a week or two. As Reinhard says, there is only before and during. Everyone is in one of those stages until you-know-who sings!

[ChubbyBaby]

oolala, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insight and your kind, encouraging words. Thank you.

My goal has always been to lose weight. It's the main thing I think about. I've spent so many years thinking about it and obsessing about it. It is the dark cloud that hangs over every single event in my life. Even the happy ones. It's so wrong. What a waste. And you are right. I don't want to live like this any more and I don't want to live like those ladies at Sparkpeople. I do want the freedom. That needs to be my goal. Thank you for helping me to see that.

I will follow your recommendations and I will do my best not to panic.

[ChubbyBaby]

Success!

B: eggs, ham, spinach, cheese, coffee, half & half
L: tuna sandwich, carrots, apple, peanut butter
S: port tenderloin, cabbage, rice, diet pudding

I hate exercising, but I'm going to try to add some in. I've started a new habitcal to track it.

The only exercise I enjoy is exercise that I don't know I'm doing, so I'm going to try and find things that fit this description. Come to think of it I do like downhill skiing, and skating. They are more like fun activities to me, rather than torture (like walking on a treadmill...blech!) I dusted off the Wii today, took a fitness test (fitness age- 48 - how accurate is that!), and then played some baseball. That was kind of fun. Then I vacuumed my house. Does that count?

Did I mention that I hate exercising.

[oolala53]

Tell us, what do you think of exercising?

I think housework counts, but you gotta keep at something zippy for a couple of hours every day to make a difference, I think. But you don't have to do it all at once.

I don't HATE exercising, but I have been consistent at it only variously. However, I love West African dancing. I went on Sunday and noticed that my recent consistency in 14 minutes and walking had helped. though I was still wheezing. So I'm a little inspired to keep it up. You might get inspired to do something "boring" if you knew it would lead to more fun skating/skiing. Just trying to be positive, since I think it's pretty hard to simulate them. But I'm not very tech savvy...

Good job on your meals.

[ChubbyBaby]

Tell us, what do you think of exercising?

Did my bad attitude show?

I think housework counts, but you gotta keep at something zippy for a couple of hours every day to make a difference, I think. But you don't have to do it all at once.

Something zippy for a couple of hours eh?....that isn't going to happen. I hate housework too!

I don't HATE exercising, but I have been consistent at it only variously. However, I love West African dancing.

Wow! That sounds very interesting! And it sure sounds like something that wouldn't "feel" like exercise. Enjoy!!

I went on Sunday and noticed that my recent consistency in 14 minutes and walking had helped. though I was still wheezing. So I'm a little inspired to keep it up. You might get inspired to do something "boring" if you knew it would lead to more fun skating/skiing. Just trying to be positive, since I think it's pretty hard to simulate them. But I'm not very tech savvy....

You're right. Anything that works out the thighs will really help with skiing. Unfortunately I'd rather go to the dentist than do squats. I'll have to think about this some more.

Good job on your meals.

Thanks. My N days seem to be going okay. It's the S days that are nasty at this point. I'm encouraged by your testimony though and can't wait until I get to the same point. Thanks again!

[ChubbyBaby]

Success.

But it was hard.

I did fine during the day but I noticed that I felt a bit weak and shaky between meals. I had a good supper but by 9 pm last night I was quite hungry, even after having a tea with cream. I didn't want to break down and have a snack so I went to bed early and read, but had trouble falling asleep because I was hungry. I woke up many times during the night because I kept hearing my stomach growling! I finally got up around 6 am this morning, because I couldn't stand it anymore, and ate a huge breakfast! I musn't have eaten enough at supper, even though I felt satisfied at the end of the meal. I 'm guessing that I didn't eat enough fat. After eating lc for so long my body is used to eating high fat. I actually crave fat sometimes. I don't crave sugar, or chocolate...I crave fat.

I've been spending a lot of time reading old posts, here on the NoS boards, especially since my big holiday gain. There seems to be several people who advocate calorie counting, and this has been troubling me. I understand what they are saying, but I've tried that way before and it didn't help me. Unfortunately all this calorie counting talk is confusing me, and distracting me from what I need to be focusing on right now. I need to just concentrate on keeping N days green. I know that ultimately I need to create a calorie deficit to actually lose anything, so at some point I need to look at how much I am putting on my plate, but it's still too early to do that. The reason I ran into trouble yesterday is that I was fiddling around with my calorie content. At least I toughed it out and didn't cave in.

Here's what I ate yesterday, with measurements...since I was measuring. Mental note: add more fat to suppertime meal.

B: 2 eggs, scrambled with1 tsp. butter, 1 slice bacon, spinach/mushrooms/onions and a sprinkle of cheese, coffee & light cream
L: 4 oz. leftover pork loin, 2 c. cabbage with 1T butter, apple & 2T. peanut butter, diet coke
S: 2 mini slider burgers with buns and fixings, 1.5 c. coleslaw with 1 T. dressing, 1/2 c yogurt & strawberries, tea with light cream

[r.jean]

I do not count anything and do not even write down what I eat. I approach each meal on it's own merit and I eat what I like and what is satisfying at the time. I try to make healthy choices but will not eat stuff I do not like.

This has obviously worked well for me, but you need to figure out what works for you.

PS: Every once in awhile I am hungry at bedtime so I have a glass of 2% milk. I like 2% best. I cannot stand skim or 1% and whole is a little rich. (Just including this as an example of weighing healthy vs what I like.)

[oolala53]

This is a free discussion forum, so people can post their preferences, but I do think the calorie counters are definitely in the minority here. Once I learned of a particular member's bias, if I felt she/he pushed it all the time, I quit reading his/her posts! I'm on Sparkpeople and I can read plenty about calorie counting there and other places, if I want to.

Find people whose ideas seem to resonate with yours and follow them. Search Reinhard's posts or listen to his podcasts rather than read any opposing viewpoints for awhile= possibly forever.

[ChubbyBaby]

Success.

My last two days have been successful, and easier than the last time I posted. I made sure I had enough fat at each meal and that really helped. I'm also pleased that some of that Christmas weight gain is coming off. I am back down to my original start weight, so I'm feeling better about everything.

Today is Friday and that means two S days are coming. I'm going to try to limit myself to 1 or 2 S events because this past week was hard and I don't want to undo all that work. I also don't want to have to deal with a miserable Monday.

Here's what I ate yesterday:
B: 2 eggs scrambled in butter with veggies, bacon and cheese, coffee with half and half
L: leftover baked trout, mixed veggies with butter, yogurt with almonds, diet coke
S: farmer sausage, coleslaw with dressing, rutabaga "fries", diet pudding, tea with cream

[milliem]

Yum, your meals sound delicious!

Don't be put off by calorie counting - most people here agree that different things work for different people.

I'm not a calorie counter by any means, although the laws of physics mean that to lose weight you have to ingest less calories than you burn! I have considered tracking calories for a bit to see what I'm really taking in on 'N days' (although I'm a bit scared of what I'll discover )

[ChubbyBaby]

Yum, your meals sound delicious!

Thanks! Too bad my teenagers don't think so. They would be happy with pizza and fries for every meal.

Don't be put off by calorie counting - most people here agree that different things work for different people.

I'm not a calorie counter by any means, although the laws of physics mean that to lose weight you have to ingest less calories than you burn! I have considered tracking calories for a bit to see what I'm really taking in on 'N days' (although I'm a bit scared of what I'll discover )

I'm not put off by it. I'm just finding that it is distracting me from what I need to be thinking about at this point. I know that I really need to cut my calories, but first I need to establish some solid NoS habits. I can always count later if I need to.

[ChubbyBaby]

This past weekend was more normal now that the holidays are over. I didn't have boxes of chocolates laying around my house for me to nibble on. The regular weekend challenges that I have to deal with are going out to eat and recreational, relaxational eating. Going out to eat means that I eat crappy food, and way too much of it. For example, this weekend I ate out at KFC, and also went to a Chinese restaurant. Lots of high fat, high sugar and high calorie foods. I also went out to a movie and had a huge popcorn with extra butter. When I'm at home I still eat my three normal meals, but I add extra helpings. Here's what goes on in my brain. "Hey...it's the weekend...it's time to relax and enjoy! Let's add toast and peanut butter to my eggs. Fries with lunch! And let's have seconds and a desert at supper. Gee, I'm going to watch t.v....how about a big snack."I have a major problem with food volume!! These add-ons may not seem like a terrible thing...after all, I'm not bingeing...but they obviously push my calorie levels way over what I need. Eating like this is what has caused me to gain almost 30lbs over the past couple of years.

The first step is recognizing the problem. The next step is to figure out how to handle it. The NoS restrictions will help me cut out the snacks and seconds during the week (although my plates are still pretty full). I'll try not to think about the weekends just yet.

[NoSRocks]

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) just popping in to say hi and that I have been enjoying reading your posts. I love the genuine way you write from the heart and I could identify and empathize with what you had written: inc. your feelings/doubts etc. following the No S Plan. We all have our own insecurities, don't we, even though it might not seem like it at times, and sometimes we tend to think we are alone in thinking a certain way - we're only human after all. So thank you again for your very insightful and helpful messages and helping me to realize I am NOT alone

Your food diary does indeed sound very yummy, btw! I enjoy reading about what other No S-er's eat throughout the day and again, I can find it to be very helpful.

All the very best to you hon, and again - thanks so much for your posts. Sorry I haven't stopped by before now - I tend to go off the boards for periods of time, but still follow the No S Plan. No S Plan is working in that it helps me not to focus on food/diet plans as much. I could bemoan (and often do lol) the fact that I haven't lost much weight - and am pretty much back where i started again (weight wise) but mentally I am in a much better, saner place when it comes to my eating habits. It doesn't happen overnight unfortunately, but something worth doing never usually does!

Have a wonderful no S week and look forward to your next post(s).

[oolala53]

I was very disappointed for a long time about how long it took me for my weekends to calm down, but since I was eating so much better on N days than I had been for years, I felt I had to accept it. Have you reviewed the Phases of No S thread recently? I do know that after a few months it took a lot less food to make me feel uncomfortably full, though I continued to get that way. But I lost weight anyway. And I do think it will start making less sense to eat just because you can after, say, a hundred N day meals. The time is going to pass anyway. You might as well have five good days a week.

[ChubbyBaby]

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) just popping in to say hi and that I have been enjoying reading your posts. I love the genuine way you write from the heart and I could identify and empathize with what you had written: inc. your feelings/doubts etc. following the No S Plan. We all have our own insecurities, don't we, even though it might not seem like it at times, and sometimes we tend to think we are alone in thinking a certain way - we're only human after all. So thank you again for your very insightful and helpful messages and helping me to realize I am NOT alone

Your food diary does indeed sound very yummy, btw! I enjoy reading about what other No S-er's eat throughout the day and again, I can find it to be very helpful.

All the very best to you hon, and again - thanks so much for your posts. Sorry I haven't stopped by before now - I tend to go off the boards for periods of time, but still follow the No S Plan. No S Plan is working in that it helps me not to focus on food/diet plans as much. I could bemoan (and often do lol) the fact that I haven't lost much weight - and am pretty much back where i started again (weight wise) but mentally I am in a much better, saner place when it comes to my eating habits. It doesn't happen overnight unfortunately, but something worth doing never usually does!

Have a wonderful no S week and look forward to your next post(s).

Thanks for the hugs Roxy! You're right. Sometimes I do feel very alone in my struggles, so it's good to have encouragement from others who are going through the same thing.

I'm glad my food diary is helpful. I find it helpful to read others people's meals too, because it gives me a better idea of where I am for quality and quantity. I'm not sure how long or how often I'll post my meals, but for now I feel the need to do it. I eventually want to get away from any tracking, logging and counting.

I'm also glad to hear that you are in a better mental place when it comes to eating. I'm not quite there yet. I certainly feel much more freedom on the NoS diet, but I still have a very strongly ingrained diet head, so it may take some time for me to be fully sane.

Have a great week too!

[ChubbyBaby]

I was very disappointed for a long time about how long it took me for my weekends to calm down, but since I was eating so much better on N days than I had been for years, I felt I had to accept it. Have you reviewed the Phases of No S thread recently? I do know that after a few months it took a lot less food to make me feel uncomfortably full, though I continued to get that way. But I lost weight anyway. And I do think it will start making less sense to eat just because you can after, say, a hundred N day meals. The time is going to pass anyway. You might as well have five good days a week.

I have reviewed the phases thread and have a good idea of what I need to focus on. It's a very helful post!

I'm really clinging to the hope that eventually it will take less food to make me feel uncomfortable. In fact, this past Saturday night I had a snack before bed, but then I couldn't get to sleep because I felt horrible. My stomach felt like it had a brick in it. I actually missed the feeling of going to be hungry! So Sunday night I didn't have a snack before bed and felt much better. Perhaps this is a sign of things to come? I hope so.

I'm also very encouraged to read that you lost weight despite overeating on the weekends. Thank you for sharing this!! This has been a big concern of mine.

[ChubbyBaby]

Doing well! My N days are green and my hunger is under control. My meals are still pretty big, but my weight is coming back down. I'm feeling pretty good about everything today.

B: cheese omelet, back bacon, coffee with cream
L: very large taco salad with beef, beans, cheese, salsa & sour cream
S: fried tilapia, rice, butternut squash with butter, greek yogurt with apple & walnuts

[NoSRocks]

CONGRATULATIONS, Baby! Great news about the weight, but moreso delighted to hear that you are feeling good ! Also thanks for your nice reply - glad you found my post helpful. Have a great day, hon!

[oolala53]

That reminds me; I need to cook the squash I have.

[ChubbyBaby]

I'm feeling really, really positive today. This week has gone well, and my weight is coming down. I know that the small amount of weight that I've lost so far could be inaccurate, but to me it is a very positive sign that this diet is actually working. You see, I've been on a low carb diet for many years and had gotten to the point where I was not losing weight any more, despite the fact that I fiddled witht the diet and tried many different variations of a low carb diet. I was at the point where I really believed that I could not lose weight! When you start a lc diet you will initially drop a good chunk of weight in the first two weeks, and then slow down after that but are supposed to continue to lose weight. What happened to me was that after doing the diet so many times I had a smaller initial weight loss, and then I would stop losing altogether. If at any point I added carbs back to my diet my weight would rebound dramatically and quickly. It was like a trap I had gotten myself into, and despite eating low carb, all that was happening was that I was maintaining at best.

On the NoS diet I am still watching my carbs, but very loosely. I make sure that I never eat carbs alone, always with protein and fat, and never make them the major part of my meal. I have stopped counting, weighing and measuring them. I am eating fruit and grains, but I am not gaining, and am in fact actually losing. For me this is HUGE! And as an added bonus I haven't been having issues with excessive hunger either, which has always been a big problem for me.

I may not have lost much weight yet, but I now have something that I thought I had lost for good...hope.

Breakfast: 2 eggs, ham, 1 slice ww TOAST with peanut butter, JUICE, coffee & cream
Lunch: large salad with lots of dressing, leftover tilapia, diet coke
Supper: chicken & veggie fried RICE, yogurt with APPLES and walnuts, tea

[ChubbyBaby]

Had a fairly normal weekend, no bingeing, just regular, plain old overeating. Had my three meals per day, plus a Saturday evening snack of a huge bowl of popcorn with butter. Sunday I ate out for lunch at a very greasy fish and chip place. Had a smaller supper, but finished it off with chocolate cake and ice cream.

I promised myself I wouldn't weigh in on Mondays but curiosity got the best of me this morning. I'm up 3 lbs since Friday. I'm okay with this and I'm not plunging into depression because I saw what happened on the scale last week when I had all N days. I know my weight will balance itself out and by the end of the week I may even be down a little more. Two steps forward, one step back.

[ChubbyBaby]

All green this week.

I'm not having trouble sticking to the plan, but I know that I'm eating too much anyway. I think that my fear of hunger is still pretty deeply ingrained because I consistantly eat beyond the point of satiety at every meal...just so I don't get hungry later. Last night at supper I remember saying to myself about 3/4 of the way through my plate "Gee...I'm feeling full...I really should stop now. Hmmm...but I can't eat again until tomorrow, so I better finish everything on my plate." So I kept on going and was absolutely stuffed by the end of the meal! I was aware of feeling full. I was aware that I was eating too much. I was aware that I was starting to feel uncomfortably full...but I still kept on eating. Now, I know that this behaviour is not directly related to this diet, and the fact that I can't have a snack, because I have always done this....since I was a kid. I have always eaten too much at meals, even when I snacked between meals, so the lack of snacks isn't really the problem....I'm just using that as an excuse right now. So...why do I do this? How can I make myself stop doing this? I think if I can overcome this I will be able to win the weight loss battle.

[ChubbyBaby]

Physical- bloated, cramps, aching muscles, headache, exhausted.
Mental- depressed, crabby, lethargic, no will-power.
S-Days gone wild.

[ChubbyBaby]

Got through my first 21 days with no problem, then had a fail yesterday.

I had an unusual schedule yesterday, so I am blaming that for my failure. I had to attend a meeting last night, and so I had to eat supper an hour and a half earlier than normal. The meeting went late, so by the time I got home it had been almost 6 hours since supper, and I was very hungry. So, I caved in and had a snack before bed. I really tried to hold out but couldn't do it.

Back in the saddle today!

[Eileen7316]

I wouldn't consider that a major fail. You just dinged the car.

Just get right back on the horse - you can do it!

[ChubbyBaby]

You just dinged the car.

ROTFL! I love this! Thanks for the laugh Eileen!

[ChubbyBaby]

I've been trying to pay attention to my hunger levels at meal times and have discovered something about myself. At breakfast and at lunch I am able to eat reasonable sized portions and not stuff myself, but supper time is a totally different story. I have not been able to stop myself from eating beyond what I need. I am aware that I am no longer hungry, and starting to feel full, but I still keep eating. I must finish what's on my plate! By the time I am done I am usually stuffed. So now that I've got my problem narrowed down I need to figure out a way to deal with it.

As far as I can see there are a couple of things to try:

1. Impose calorie restrictions and portion controls. The good side of this strategy is that it would help me to see what the proper amount of food should look like, and if I kept this up it might help me form a habit. The bad side of this strategy is that it's an external control. Something outside of my own personal character is dictating how much I should eat and so I'm not sure how effective it will be in the long run. It's like the unruly child who makes a show of obedience, but is still rebellious at heart. It also involves accounting, and probably won't be sustainable for me over a long period of time, or in all situations.

2. Learn to listen to my body's signals and obey them. The good side to this is that it is an internal control. Developing my own character in this area gets at the real root of the problem. This approach would work in all situations and would result in permanently changed habits. The down side is that this could take a long time to develop, and I'm not sure how do make myself change. I am listening to my body's signals, but I'm obstinantly refusing to obey them. How can I change this about myself? I'm not sure.

3. Trick my body. My doctor suggested taking a fiber supplement to help me feel full. The other thing that has worked for me in the past is to chew a lot and drink lots of water with my meal.

Am I over thinking this and making it more complicated than it needs to be?

[ChubbyBaby]

Had another fail yesterday, but again, it wasn't anything too serious. I tried eating a smaller supper, but by 8 p.m. I was ravenous. Had some carrots and a couple pieces of cheese at 10 p.m.

I didn't have a very good weekend, so Monday was rough...again. I was very bloated...I couldn't get my rings off and I could really see it in my face. I indulged in sugary deserts and overate a lot of high fat/carby foods.

I'm seriously considering restricting my carbs on weekends. If I eliminate them, I don't miss them. If I have them, even in restricted amounts, I crave them, and end up overdoing it. I restrict them on weekdays and don't have a problem with it, so why not weekends too? They haven't been a part of my diet for 15 years, so why introduce them back now, especially if they are causing such havoc. I need to keep them as very special, very rare treats only. I'm not talking about going to ketogenic levels, and eliminating all of them. I'm talking about avoiding the worst offenders, like wheat and sugar, because these are the carbs that mess up my body the worst.

I also need to stop eating out so much on weekends. I find that I am very weak when it comes to restaurant food, especiallly if I eat out on an S day. The good choices on the menu are just not appealing to me and I always end up going for the worst choice possible...the fries, the greasy hamburger, the cheesecake, the ice cream. Not only does this mess up my blood sugar and insulin levels, but it also bumps up my overall calorie intake. It's just not doing me any good. I think it's easier for me to stay away from those temptations than to try to make better choices.

Also, I know that I need to lower my overall calorie intake. I'm considering counting calories (for awhile anyway) to see where I'm at. I know that to lose weight I need to create a calorie defecit, so I need to become aware of how much I am actually eating. I have eliminated snacking and seconds, but if I continue to overeat at supper time, and eat in an unrestrained manner on the weekends, I am probably not really creating any calorie defecit. In fact, if I'm honest with myself, I have actually increased my eating on the weekends! I'm not really happy about having to do this because I have tracked things for so many years and I am heartily sick of it. Unfortunatley, I haven't ever really tracked calories, so I guess I need to buck up and just do it because I don't want to be in denial about this anymore.

[TexArk]

Thanks for stopping by my daily thread

We are all really different and it is our task to find what works for us. Moderation never worked for me. One cookie? After one, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I really do think that for me anyway, there is something chemical or hormonal going on that messes with my hunger signals and the opiate/desire signals. I really do identify with alcoholics and drug addicts when I try to moderate sugar and wheat. Abstaining is so much easier than having a 100 calorie portion. When I used to practice S Days with sweet treats, I became obsessed and thought all week long about what I was going to bake or what special treat I was going to enjoy. Sounds like an alcoholic between drinks to me.

I am really at peace as you know with not indulging on sweets on S Days. In David Kessler's book, The End of Overeating, he discusses several animal research studies which explain to me why this might be the case. It is a good read

[ChubbyBaby]

Thanks for stopping by my daily thread

We are all really different and it is our task to find what works for us.

Yes, that's true. You sound very similar to me in height, and former weight, as well as the way you eat, which was what caught my attention. It helps to learn from those similar to ourselves.

Moderation never worked for me. One cookie? After one, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I really do think that for me anyway, there is something chemical or hormonal going on that messes with my hunger signals and the opiate/desire signals. I really do identify with alcoholics and drug addicts when I try to moderate sugar and wheat. Abstaining is so much easier than having a 100 calorie portion. When I used to practice S Days with sweet treats, I became obsessed and thought all week long about what I was going to bake or what special treat I was going to enjoy. Sounds like an alcoholic between drinks to me.

Oh yes! I can certainly relate to all of this! Moderation is helping me on N days (when I am watching my carbs) because it's helping me to control my calorie intake, but it isn't helping me on S days. In fact it's making the problem worse. Perhaps if I had been overindulging on sweets before I started this diet it would be helping me by limiting sweets to weekends. But I'm coming at it from the other way. I wasn't eating sweets on a regular basis, so just by adding in moderate amounts on the weekends, I have actually increased my sugar intake!

And you are right that eating those types of carbs causes a chemical or hormonal reaction...with blood sugar and insulin (and probably others). Having those types of foods, even in small amounts affects my blood sugar and insulin levels. If a person's blood sugar and insulin levels are out of whack it makes moderation and self-control extremely difficult to achieve, and it even increases their hunger levels. I know this is true for me. I know that if I eat too much sugary/carby food at one meal I could very well find myself standing in front of my pantry, uncontrollably stuffing an entire box of crackers into my face, to stop the body shakes. And too much doesn't mean something like a tray of cinnamon buns or an entire bag of potato chips. This used to happen to me on a regular basis when I ate something as innocent as a bowl of cereal and a slice of toast with jam for breakfast. When I eat eggs with no toast for breakfast this never happens. There's something beyond habits going on there.

I am really at peace as you know with not indulging on sweets on S Days. In David Kessler's book, The End of Overeating, he discusses several animal research studies which explain to me why this might be the case. It is a good read

I'm glad to hear it. I know for a fact that I will be at peace as well once I stop trying to moderate it. I will also look for this book you suggested. It sounds interesting. See you around!

[ChubbyBaby]

Warning... this may be in the realm of Too Much Information, but I had a revelation this week. I've just finally realized that I'm going through perimenopause. Duh!! No wonder it's been so hard for me to lose weight. I kept waiting for the hot flashes to come, but they haven't, so I assumed that it hadn't started yet. I've had some other changes to my cycle, so thought I'd read up on it, and lo and behold I have almost every symptom of peri, except the hot flashes. Amazing! So, I need to stop beating myself up so much for my weight gain and realize that it will be harder for me to lose, and I have to be more diligent, but this is a normal phase of life.

Also, I went low carb this weekend, and despite the peri issues I feel so much better. In fact, this is the best I felt on a Monday morning since December. I'm going to continue with this, staying with my NoS guidelines as well. That's the new plan.

[ChubbyBaby]

I stumbled across another website/blog this week that's really inspired me. I've been searching the internet, looking for any information calorie restricted low carb diets. Well, the website I found is a wealth of information! It's written by a doctor who has been researching weight loss and low carb diets for years, and has come up with a ton of amazing information. The simplified version of his theory is this: In order to achieve healthy weight loss you need three things, in this order of importance: 1. Calorie burn 2. Calorie restriction 3. Low carb diet. I've never heard it put quite this way before, yet, based on my own personal experience, it makes total sense. I bought his ebook, and I have much more reading to do, but I am already starting to put some of this into practice.

Since calorie burn was his number one requirement I added in some exercise this past week. I bundled up and went outside for a nice walk, several times this week, and I've even been on my treadmill a couple of times. I hope I can keep this up because I really hate contrived exercise. Even though I hate it so much I've finally realized that it is probably the missing key that will help me start losing weight. I've been trying to cut calories and carbs, but obviously haven't been cutting enough to actually lose, so I have to get some movement into my life. I've also realized that exercise is going to help me deal with my peri- menopause syptoms, so I need to do it to help me feel better as well.

As far as calorie restriction goes, I'm just sticking with the NoS plan habits I've formed. I find it extremely difficult to go much lower than I am now because I just get too darned hungry. This is good because he doesn't recommend a huge calorie reduction, because he knows it is very difficult to maintain. Hopefully the NoS restrictions will be enough...especially if I watch it on the weekends too.

I've been sticking to my lower carb eating and doing great with that. It's actually more of a moderate carb diet than what I've previously been doing, but that's okay. I'm just keeping the carbs lower, the protein moderate, and upping the fat. The reason he recommends eating lower carb is because it controls your hunger so that you can restrict your calorie intake...which is exactly what I figured out on my own and why I continue to eat this way...so he got my attention. He also has many other health reasons for eating lower carb, but I still have more reading to do to understand it all.

So, I'm feeling inspired and hope that this will make a difference.

[ChubbyBaby]

Did ya miss me?? Well, even if you didn't I'm back for another try.

Here's what happened after I last dropped off the NoS planet.

I quickly gave up on the calorie burn idea. I hate contrived exercise, so it was absolutely ridiculous for me to think that I was going to change my attitude on that enough so that I would actually burn enough calories to lose weight. What was I thinking??

After that stupidity I decided to do something I had been threatening myself with for awhile. It was kind of my last chance option if all else failed. So, on March 1st I signed up at Weight Watchers. The last time I was a member of WW was over 20 years ago and I swore I would never go back. Well, since nothing else was working for me I decided it was time to "get serious", so I went back. The last time I went to WW I remember being starving all the time, and totally revolted by all the "positive pep talk" that never seemed to apply to me. Well, the diet has changed since then and I didn't starve this time. The meetings were okay and I felt like this time I was actually learning something. Coming from years of low carbing I had to force myself to listen with an open mind when they talked about "healthy whole grains" and limiting fat intake. Although I don't agree with everything they teach I was willing to try it for the sake of losing some weight. So, overall it wasn't as bad as I remember. Unfortunately, the weighing, tracking, measuring, and point counting got old really, really quickly. And after about a month I started cheating too. So in the end I really didn't lose much weight. I attended the meetings for four months, followed the plan, but only lost a total of 7 lbs, most of which I lost the first month and then bounced around for the next three. Even with the cheating 7 lbs is the best I've done on any diet in recent memory, but still very far from what I need to accomplish. Since the meetings were expensive and I was cheating too much to continue losing I decided to drop out at the end of June.

Since then I've been aimlessly wandering through the summer without any diet, and have fully gained back my 7 lbs.


This is what I have learned over the past few months:

-I seem to be unable to stick to any kind of traditional diet anymore. My will power has totally vanished and the thought of trying again seems exhausting and ultimately pointless since none of them seem to work anyway. I have rotated through a number of different diets, several times now, and none of them work for me. Why keep doing this over and over again?? I think I've officially reached the end of my rope.

-I need to be able to eat, without guilt, in any situation. I need to be able to handle situations like restaurants, church potlucks, birthday parties, movie nights, holidays, etc. without beating myself up with guilt, or without totally avoiding the situation, or without spazzing out and bingeing. I need to be able to live life without being controlled by the food!

-I need to control my portions. I just eat too much. How to accomplish this though...I'm at a loss. My diet willpower is gone. I can't bear the thought of being a food accountant for the rest of my life. Yet, I don't think that the simplicity of eliminating snacks and seconds will be enough. I know that I can still eat way too much this way.

-I still need to watch my carb intake. Somethings I can eat and they don't bother me. Other things do. I just can't be an idiot. Easier said than done.

So, that's what I know. What I don't know is how to lose weight.

Anyway, I'm back at NoS because I finally have nowhere else left to go. Maybe that is a good thing.

[oolala53]

Hey, how are you?