SelinaÂ´s Negative Check-In

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:33 pm

I have to start over.
This time I will stay focused!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:30 pm

2 successful days so far!

DishDash · Post by **DishDash** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:44 pm

Congratulations! Keep it up!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:12 pm

Thank you DishDash!
The last two days were easy, even though I had to resist some cake

honey · Post by **honey** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:28 pm

Great stuff Selina, and well done on the cake resisting!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:48 pm

Thanks honey!
Unfortunately the pizza on friday got me, I had more than one serving..
But the Sdays were great.. and next week I will also master friday.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Feb 07, 2012 2:01 pm

Monday evening fail

Today I am absolutely committed. Don't know why it get's so hard after some days to stay motivated/committed. I always start to question the system, even though I know it makes so much sense!!

I will try my best tomorrow, so far breakfast & lunch went flawless

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Feb 08, 2012 11:00 am

Tuesday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:11 am

Wednesday success
It helps to keep re-reading the book.. I forgot so many useful tips by now and it is also helping with the staying-focused problem of mine..

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:27 am

Thursday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:36 am

Again friday failure!
I hope that this is not going to become a habit..

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:12 pm

Monday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:04 pm

Tuesday failure
At least it was for something good.. but still.

Wednesday success!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Feb 16, 2012 9:03 pm

Thursday success!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:19 pm

Going to bed now.. after a successful day
It is getting a tiny bit easier (:

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:36 am

Monday evening failure!

Wasn't necessary! I feel like I am not trying hard enough.. Going to re-read the book again..

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:03 am

Tuesday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:19 am

Wednesday success

Yesterday I talked to a friend who is going to refrain from alcohol for the period of fasting. I decided to join him, but it wouldn't be hard for me to drink nothing.. so I decided to go without sweets for that period of time.

I think that this total "abstinence" is going to help me to act more sane around sweets.. I hope that I will benefit from this.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:27 am

Friday success

I am discovering cool S-Day treats that are no sweets. Good experience already the sweet-fasting!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:39 pm

Monday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:51 pm

Thursday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:29 pm

Wednesday success
It's getting easier again.. I don't know why.. weird.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:02 pm

Thursday success
Had a little party to to this evening, but didn't have anything.. very good. But it was harder than the last days. Cravings are coming back again

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:45 pm

Friday success!

I just realized that this is my first green week this year

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:25 am

Selina wrote:Friday success!

I just realized that this is my first green week this year

Congratulations!!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:19 pm

Thanks millem!

Week started good: Green monday

It is getting easier to withstand the occasional cravings

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:58 pm

Tuesday success

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:03 pm

Wednesday success

Habit is kicking in! I hope that it will help me tomorrow.. I'll have a pretty long day, starting at 8 - 9 am and ending at 2 am in the morning because I have to work that long (I work at a cinema, and my shift starts at half past 5)

Soo I will have to spread my meals.. but I hate eating at work, so maybe I'll just eat at 8am, then again at 1pm and the last time at 5pm.. I'll survive anyway..

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:31 am

Oh man, I failed so bad yesterday! Everything went well until 10pm, when it was so boring at work.. a coworker offered me some chocolate and I didn't decline it.
Then of course I thought: what the hell? and kept eating for the rest of the evening, mostly bad stuff.. tacos, popcorn, sweets.. and when I came home it continued even though I tried to talk myself out of it (''the more mature thing to do is to mark it and move on.. every calorie counts, so stop NOW!'').
I don't know.. on days like these I feel like these things just happen to me, even though I know that I am completely responsible for them.
Bad bad habits. It's so important to solve this now, I don't want to be stuck with those habits for the rest of my life.

So.. today started pretty good, but I had cravings all morning.. and everything is going so slow (which I know is good, but where do you guys get all that patience?).
But according to TheGoogle15 I am still on my way, so I guess I have to get myself together and bitch slap these stupid cravings!

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:57 am

The patience took some time. Once No S becomes a habit rather than a chore, it will come. You will do better and you will do worse, but as you start to see a pattern of success, you will gain patience. The lost pounds add up and you finally realize that slow loss that is maintained will get you there faster than big losses followed by relapses.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:04 pm

So to get patience you've got to be patient?

haha
Thank you very much r.jean! I somewhere know that this is right.. but unfortunately it doesn't keep me from freaking out from time to time.. thinking that this takes too much effort and shows results too slow..

And today was hard hard hard. Having cravings all the time. But I resisted, that's what counts.. Green monday!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:37 pm

Hi, I'm new to your thread.

IF you stick with No S and commit to becoming more cooperative with your true hunger, the likelihood that you will weigh less in two years will be much greater. This problem is not solved in a few weeks or even months. You can't make a marriage be solid until you've lived through some experiences. This is a marriage.

The scale is not the measure of success in this marriage for quite awhile.

I challenge you to go on Amazon and look for a few books that came out a couple of years ago. Write a reply to some of the comments of people who were glowing after a few weeks or months. See if you can find someone who kept the weight off, never mind went on to goal and kept it off.

This is the easiest course out there. Stay this course.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:03 am

However, if sheer numbers motivate you, I lost 45 lbs my first year by plodding along losing small amounts and not gaining anything back. I have not lost yet this year and briefly went up a couple pounds, but I am back at 45 lbs lost. I am sure I will have a loss this month.

The habits have to be the focus, but for many of us the numbers are also a motivator.

Good luck!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:22 pm

Thank you for the kind words you two! They really helped me through the last couple of days, which went well (green).

And the marriage methaphor really stuck with me. Thanks ohlala!
Now when I come across some snack or sweet I can just think.. no thanks, I am married. That seems to paint a clear picture for me of how I would like my commitment to be regarding the No S Diet.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:09 am

Oh, that is so cute! I didn't even think of that!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:11 am

hard, but made it! second green week this year

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:57 am

Well, now that you're married, it will be easier... congrats!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:34 pm

haha I hope so ohlala! but I heard also marriages have their ups and downs..

this weekend was horrible, I ate so much. but today I am back on track..
green

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:40 am

Oh, I didn't mean there won't be ups and downs in this "marriage." It should just be harder to get out of it!

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:28 pm

I love the "marriage" concept. Too funny. But really, I've been married for 22 years and if I would have walked every time I wanted to I'd be at the bottom of the ocean... if I eat every time I want to I'd not be able to walk. Also, affairs might be fun, but they destroy the marriage. Don't even go there! I haven't. Think of snacks as affairs.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:25 pm

I don't know what that was today, I had some cereal directly after dinner. Wasn't really hungry, but I felt kind of empty.
Next time I will just go and take a walk. So today was a failure. But I am glad that I left it at that.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:17 am

I've done that! A high fiber cereal I like. I'd rationalize it a bit telling myself maybe my body needed the fiber, but it was still a fail and it could so easily be a slippery slope. Glad you're catching it now.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:25 pm

Yesterday and today weren't exactly easy, but I made it. And I can say with confidence that I am not going to snack later.. I am just going to my work now and then straight to bed.
Really had some strong cravings these days.. always before I am getting my periode. At least I know my enemy now..

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:59 am

Knowing where the urge comes from can help, esp. when you know it is not valid in terms of what it is asking you to do. Actually, for the problem, it kind of does help, but it's so short term and in reality, even with the discomfort, the trade off is probably not worth it. But each gal has to decide that for herself.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:36 pm

Ok, today I failed.
Negative qualification:

I had two bowls of cereal with yoghurt in between, tortellini (which was my actual dinner) and one big chocolate bar (100gr)

Everything started in the city.. sunny day, I was walking with friends who wanted to get some ice cream. And because I am afraid/don't want to admit that I want to lose weight I couldn't bring myself to say no, so I had a vanilla milkshake, which I find kind of "S-day-stuffy", but ice cream really just screams S!! From then on I went from 'what the hell, already blew it' to 'if you just have dinner this day will be one with 'funny stuff' but no failure'.

I don't know. Or maybe I just wanted to pig out a little! Tomorrow evening is a NWS-day. Me and my 17 roommates are going to through a very big houseparty and I don't want to obsess about some chips or so..

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:00 pm

You wouldn't have said no because you want to lose weight. You say no because you're too full at the time and/or you want to save your appetite for dinner. Because you wouldn't really enjoy the ice cream then. Because you enjoy your sweets so much more when you don't have them as often. Or something else that's actually true and you've discovered it because you're on No S and never would have figured it out any other way. One of the beauties!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:38 am

Yes, one of those beauties.. I keep forgetting about them when I am obsessing about actual weight loss.
That's why I made a resolution for April.

I will go on with Vanilla No S with 2 extra 'rules':

- No scale (because I really want to focus on the other benefits of No S and the scale keeps distracting me from them)
- No stairs (my room is upstairs, and eating in my room where none of my roommates can see me or eating in bed in general are the biggest triggers for me to overeat or eat stuff I don't really enjoy. So no more bringing food into my room from now on, that should cut out a lot of excess eating!)

And I will begin 14minutes of ANYTHING on weekdays, but without the tracking at first. I need to keep the main focus on the diet right now.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Sat Mar 31, 2012 3:24 pm

Selina I like the "no stairs". I quite often on S days disappear to my room. Mainly so my kids+husband don't beg to eat what I'm eating. It's good to enjoy, but not be secretive. Good idea.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:30 am

One of Geneen Roth's guidelines for eating are to eat with the intent to be in full view of others. When you eat alone a lot, that can be tricky.

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:40 am

I like "with the intent to be in full view". So, even if you're alone, you're not "woofing down" anything, but would not be embarrassed if seen eating. We all know what it's like with a pint of ice cream in hand sitting on a couch...

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:15 am

Or a half gallon... and the fudge sauce.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:44 am

haha yes, exactly! I do eat alone a lot (at leat breakfast and lunch) because I am living in a dorm.. we do cook and eat dinner together which can be helpful! But I have to say that I would cook a lot healthier for myself.. most of the students don't really care and just tend to cook the same pasta every time!

But thanks for the tip! Sounds good, I'll try to keep that in mind every time I eat.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:46 pm

Oh my gosh, if you can get a handle on this, you will spare yourself so much torture! I vividly remember overeating in college and feeling terrible about it. I was about the weight I am now. After college, I struggled and gained so much weight over the years. No S is so sane! Though I can imagine it might be a little hard in college. It will take you through life, though. Have coffee or other drinks on weeknights and save the pizza and donuts for the weekend.

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:57 pm

Yes nailing this down in college (my biggest binge moments) will be so beneficial for your life!

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:22 pm

I totally agree! I gained my first 50 (yes, 50) pounds in college my first year alone! Mostly all from snacking and seconds. That set a tough trend that I've struggled with since.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:25 pm

I truly do hope so! I started obsessing about my weight at an age of 14-15. Now that I am almost 20, I am really sick of those food and diet-related thoughts and all the binge-eating that I can't imagine going on like this.
So.. that's why I can't put into words how grateful I am for finding this system and this unbelievably supportive board that comes with it

This is better than therapy.

About today. I failed because my roommates made a nice apple-pie and I talked myself into eating it as 'part of my dinner' (don't know how my head does that convincingly). 5 minutes later I realized how stupid I was being and that this day was RED, without a doubt. That's when I grabbed a chocolate bar out of frustration and ate it in my room (against the no stairs rule), but I stopped after that.. Not a good start into april, but that's okay. I marked it and I moved on! And I like that my failures are getting smaller. Normally I would have finished off the chocolate bars lying downstairs.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:40 pm

Yes, exactly. Those are learning failures. It's hard to learn from bashing failures except not to bash yourself.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Apr 03, 2012 11:32 am

Oh, by the way, your head does that convincingly because there are neurochemicals that, once stimulated by the right conditions, will make your mind produce thoughts to drive your behavior. That's how psychiatric drugs help change people's stressful thoughts and it's how brain chemicals make you think it's fine to have the pie, etc. The stimulus is strengthened by "obeying;' weakened by resisting. It's just the chemicals talkin'. I used that line of thought A LOT in the beginning; it terrified me to think how ingrained this process was. Which reminds me: I've got to think of that on S days...

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:36 pm

That does sound terrifying.. But between stimulus and response there will always be the factor 'human decision'.

Today I decided badly again. I had to work (baking popcorn for the cinema) 6 hours so I couldn't really have dinner. So I had some bread in between, but it obviously wasn't good enough because I ended up snacking on some popcorn.. Another reason may be that I was tired as hell. It's time for a nice green day again!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:38 pm

Why couldn't you have dinner? I didn't understand.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:58 pm

Well, usually my day looks something like this:

breakfast 10am
lunch 1pm
dinner 6pm

I had to work 6pm until midnight and I only get a 10minutes break to eat some sandwitch or something. But I know.. my body can perfectly go without food for 6-7hours, it's just that baking popcorn is pretty heavy work (I know it doesn't sound like it) but you have to carry stuff around all the time (like sugar bags which are about 50lbs) and I tend to see that as enough an excuse to eat a little more.

And today I failed again! But again, not really hard: one chocolate bar and one piece of birthdaycake.
This is far from bad (at least for me and in contrast to my past failures). I usually go nuts when I give in.. Don't know what to do with that.
If I knew I could keep this pattern up forever without the distinctive N and S days I know I would. But I don't know.. unfortunately

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:21 pm

That is a bit of dilemma. To try to eat before work would mean a pretty early dinner, if you wanted to really sit and enjoy it. I wonder if you could have a bigger lunch on those work days and then be happy with a lighter "dinner" that you could enjoy on your break? Just an idea.

I'm a little surprised they don't owe you two breaks in 6 hours of work, not that that would solve your problem.

I also think being able to go 6-7 hours easily without food is not a given. It's rather routine for me on workday mornings, but doing that routinely for the gap between lunch and dinner can be a trial. I can't do just anything to fill the time. It has to be things that I don't have to be very mindful for, and that doesn't include serious concentration on work.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:47 pm

Yes thank you ohlala, next time I will try a bigger lunch and see how that goes..

I have had a complete red week.
No major failures at first, but it got worse at the end of the week.
I wrote them down:

monday: little piece of applepie, chocolate cookie
tuesday: some popcorn (3-5 handful)
wednesday: chocolate cookie, pudding, 1 piece of birthdaycake, 1 handful of chips
thursday: little piece of chocolate, 1 chocolate chip cookie
friday: lost track, it was too much

It didn't seem much every day, but I see now that it adds up to quite a bit at the end of the week! What happened was that for the first time, I was able to fail - but hold it together afterwards. I was able to avoid the 'what-the-hell effect'. This is a big accomlishment for me! So I wanted to see if I was ready to pull that whole intuitive moderate eating-thing off. But of course I couldn't. I haven't changed that much (and maybe never will, so I can better just stay Vanilla!).
My weekend was pretty bad as well.

I re-read some key-parts of the book and I will try to stay away from the bulletinboard for a while, because sometimes it makes me overthink this stuff.
I just have to DO now. And regain my focus.
Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday.
Breakfast - lunch - dinner.
Easy

I will be back soon, when things get green again!

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:11 am

We appreciate your check-in, but I understand about the over-thinking. I think I'll take a break for awhile. It can become a new addiction.

The book is key in getting back on track.
But we'll be here cheering you on!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:09 am

thank you Liz!
I think I will be back now. Had some bad weeks but I am glad that I kept tracking my failures and very few successes.

Is there someone who experiences the same pattern as I do?
I tend to have some very good weeks in a row, with very few failures. And then suddenly, I feel that I can't stop myself from breaking the rules. And it's never just one day or one bad weekend, it always becomes something like 1 or 2 weeks of completely ignoring the No S rules!

It's just very frustrating.. And I am scared that this pattern will just repeat itself over and over again and that I will never be able to make this a solid habit. Right now this still costs too much effort to 'get back on the wagon' all the time. I am doing this for over a year now!! How do people just obey the rules all the time? I don't know why this is so hard for me.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:51 pm

I haven't had that pattern, but I think I understand it. The brain pattern of overeating is very easy to reignite. Food is such a basic reinforcer! I'm not sure what will help you overcome this EXCEPT the very real fear that it will go on until the end of your life if you don't consciously counteract it. I know that is what scared me enough. I saw the 40 years I had thought it would go away and realized I probably have only 20 good years left (OK, MAYBE 10 more after that) . It chilled me to think that is the way I would live, and I thought of that a lot during the first year, even through times of struggle. I was pretty sure no other plan would save me. Even now, I'm going through a tough time, but I know this is how I want to live.

It really helps to cultivate the habit of consciously remembering how bad you feel when you do overeat and how glad you are when you wait to eat. Those mental images are powerful, especially when you catch yourself thinking about how good the food will taste or how much you will enjoy the texture or whatever. Those usually accompany the thoughts of how it doesn't matter, who cares, this is too hard, just this once, etc. Most people have to actively resist their desire and use thoughts to counteract them for a long time. Even the few who do lose weight relapse at the rate of 25% after FIVE years! So just keep coming back and making the lapses shorter. You KNOW you will be happier winning this.

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:43 pm

oolala53 wrote:I was pretty sure no other plan would save me. Even now, I'm going through a tough time, but I know this is how I want to live.

This!
This really helps. I think I want to live like this too, regardless of where this will take/leave me with my very idealistic weight goals. Thank you!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu May 10, 2012 10:52 am

Hey! I just wanted to check in and say; it is going really well!
I now feel like I am "on habit" because the cravings for seconds and sweets are gone - most of the time - and if I feel them they aren't as strong as before. If I keep this up until the end of the week this would be my first 3-green-weeks in a row (with one NWSday).

I don't really do anything differently.. it is more the realization that I really want to live like this! No matter where this will take me (thanks ohlala for helping me see that).
This way No S feels more like a conscious decision I make again everyday - because I actually like it! And not like something that I just make myself do to reach my pathetic goals!

SDays (especially sundays) are still over the top but I don't worry about them. One thing that helps is to spend them with friends.. I tend to act saner around them and we usually do something really nice.. like going to a cafÃ© and ordering something special. There is still a voice in my head that says things like; this is your S day! You should just go buy some junk and stay home all day! And I panick or don't feel well.. But the good thing about friends is that they can calm you down and distract you from those unnatural urges! This is very serious stuff.. I can't believe all the stupid things I tried in the past just to lose some weight without thinking about how this could seriously screw you up!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat May 19, 2012 4:35 pm

Did you make it to three weeks? Not that that is crucial at this moment. (I say that in case you didn't. Don't want to bring up sore subjects!)

I was so glad I had No S while I was in New Orleans for a wedding. Even on the weekend, I felt quite sane, not like I had to go around eating everything. I had plenty of good food but with no bloat or regret.