Thursday, January 16th, 2020
Exercise: none
Steps: 5,702
What went well yesterday?
I got quite a bit done on my assessments.
I had a good workout at Orange Theory.
I had some nitro cold brew coffee that I really enjoyed.
Thoughts on food and life: Thinking about my tracking my food and how it has been so helpful for me as an awareness tool. My weight is beginning to go down, and I am so thankful for that. It brings an awareness of what I'm putting into my body, and the amount of fuel I'm taking in. Without it I tend to be an ignorance is bliss kinda person. But it also creates this feeling of numbness and being out of touch with my heart and emotions. A focus on it throughout the day. I can't figure out what the connection is exactly. Maybe a removal of some of the freedom and spontaneity that I have when not tracking. I'm not sure. I don't like it, but I don't know what to do about it. Maybe stepping up the yoga, meditation, quiet introspection time alone would help. In theory, I can just plan the day in the morning, which I do, and then not have to think about it all day. It's frustrating to me. It's kind of like this black and white thing - free and easy, or planned and structured.
We went out to dinner spur of the moment yesterday. My plan is one meal a week out, and just ordering what I feel like. That means when the weekend comes and if we do go out, which we probably will, I will be choosing something healthier and that isn't a calorie bomb.
![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
It's good for me to practice doing that. Going out to a meal doesn't have to mean that your throw caution to the wind and just eat whatever. I want to be intentional in my life. It's one of the things I'm focusing on in the different areas of my life. Exercise, teaching, eating, everyday choices I make.
We're two hours late today, so that means no morning preschool. I'll have time to go in early and work on an IEP I need to write for tomorrow, as well as assessments. Those things are just a thorn in my side!! Can't wait to be done with them. I have the hardest time disciplining myself to sit down and do them.
I am feeling like I need more time alone. More time to just be, and not be on my phone and on Facebook. Time to contemplate, breathe, be with myself. I find it hard to maintain my own identity and focus on who I am and I want to be while being married and living with someone. You always have to take someone else''s feelings and needs into consideration. Hopefully I will find my balance. Luckily DH also likes time alone, but he is also a person who feels most connected when we have quality time together. Maybe that is part of the key. Quality time instead of just hanging around the house together. I get antsy and I'm kind of a go, go, go social person, and he isn't that way. He is much more content with less busyness. It worked out fine when we lived separately an hour apart while we were dating. lol It's good to think about and work on ideas.
Okay, better get to it. Happy Thursday all.