automated eating tracker

[Soprano]

Great news re your metabolic markers, I recall you struggling in the past to improve blood sugars.

Do you think no alcohol may be contributing too?

Jx

[minimizer]

It's so good to see you back here, Auto!
I'm glad that we're both back!
Yay for us!!!

[pinkhippie]

Hi Auto! Welcome back! We have missed you!

I am so sorry your family went through that! I worried when you disappeared that something bad had happened and it sounds like it did. For the record, I respect your choices for your family. I never agreed with mandatory vax. What a beyond huge ordeal to have to move and find new jobs! Good for you for getting tenure again too! What a huge change to end up in the south! Welcome! I am so sorry for the heat!:lol: I hope you didn't end up in tornado alley, because the storms have been insane here in the south where I live. Arkansas. We have gotten a record number of tornadoes this year. They say tornado alley is moving eastward now.

Also you are only 48! You are one year younger than me! I turned 49 this year. Oh the joys.

Its so interesting about the dairy becasue I have been seeing a few news articles about studies that are now saying that dairy actually has more benefits than previously realized and maybe we shouldn't all be shunning it.

Your hair sounds great! I also don't dye my hair and it has been getting all kinds of new variegated colors in it that it didn't have before. Good for you for cutting your own hair short! Ironically, I stopped cutting my own hair a few years ago and have been enjoying getting it cut professionally. I found a curly hair specialist that does great work and I take both my curly headed girls and myself to her a couple times a year. I still contemplate going shorter on a regular basis though.

Anyway, so glad to see you back!

[automatedeating]

Soprano - I do think the no alcohol might be helping! I did go one year without alcohol and still had some higher fasting glucoses but I was more low-carb then and I think that can (parodoxically) be a little stressful for some people (not all, we are certainly all different).

minimizer! Hello! Stay around, OK? I plan on it. Let's get to December like your signature has!

Pinkie! We are in northeastern Alabama, right near Huntsville (in fact, that's where Challenger is going for college).
A few months ago, when the "big day" was forecasted, we had to go to a tornado shelter nearby because we don't have a basement. After that, we bought our own - it's in our garage now!

In Washington, I did have a really good hair lady. Here, I haven't found anyone I like enough to pay so much money!
Oh my gosh, Creator has the BIGGEST hair! His hair is easily as curly as mine but thicker. And he like to keep it BIG BIG BIG. He tells me the girls love it. lol.

Friday, June 20
So pretty today! On Fridays I get done at noon so I was in the pool by 1pm and then read for awhile. I have developed a "transfer addiction" (said half in jest and half for true!) reading fantasy romances. They are pretty silly - all about girls that discover they have magic and fall in love with brooding, strong men. What can I say? A girl can only be so intellectual bwahahaha

B: coffee with milk
L: yogurt w/berries
got home and promptly ate the last cinnamon roll with a glass of milk
D: planning on burgers and I'm going to definitely eat outside!

[Amy3010]

I have a very vivid memory as a child when we lived in Birmingham, AL, being lifted out of bed to shelter from a really big tornado...scary stuff. I hope all of you in the Southeast stay safe!

[pinkhippie]

Hi Auto! Oh my Alabama! So you are in the REAL south! Your humidity is worse than ours! That must be such a shock to get used to! Whenever we go out and about to touristy things, and it is SUPER HOT and humid, we have on occasion run into families from Alabama. The women are always wearing jeans and have their long thick hair down and they look completely unruffled. When I comment on it they always tell me this heat is nothing compared to Alabama. Glad you got a tornado shelter! Where I live in NW Arkansas, we didn't used to get tornadoes very often and pretty much no one has tornado shelters.

My 13 year old has HUGE hair too! That is why I found a curly hair specialist! She likes to keep hers pretty short.

[automatedeating]

Yes Pinkie it's the real south!! Although we are almost to Tennessee so we find the temperatures not really very hot! What I REALLY notice is that the climate is just so much extreme here than the Pacific Northwest. Some frightfully cold temps in the winter, some impressively humid days in the summer, and thunderstorms! I didn't really even know what a thunderstorm was before moving here. At first they scared me, but now I have come to love being inside in a comfortable home watching and listening to the storm. Sometimes I even like to go out on the porch during it.

The first 2 years I had a whole-body hive reaction to fire ant stings but I seem to have gotten over that, thankfully. At first I just assumed an ant was no big deal. Ha! If there's a way to make it venomous, Alabama can do it.

That's funny about your daughter's huge hair. She and Creator could trade hair-styling tips. He goes through hair gel like nobody's business.

Thanks Amy! We live an hour north of Birmingham.

Saturday, June 20th, 2025
B: coffee with milk
L: yogurt w/berries
ice cream
D: chicken
ice cream

Sunday, June 21, 2025
B: coffee with milk
L: leftover chicken
small bowl of chips
ice cream
D: steak?
ice cream again - found this triple peanut butter flavor I love

Still battling more alcohol cravings than I was in the first couple of months. I deal by eating ice cream. I haven't found anything else I reliably will do at those moments (i.e. healthier habits like going on a run or meditating, haha!)

I really don't enjoy going to the gym. Y'all I try, I really really try.

OK so for this week I'll try a morning walk/jog (just 1 mile) and my GMB workouts (these are bodyweight exercises and mobility). This is the sort of exercise I've had very good habit with during my life (just not now, gar).

[pinkhippie]

Yes when I lived in NY I really missed the storms! Southern storms are just a whole other thing that they don't get up north! Many times we have stood in our garage with the door open while a storm rages outside. It is soothing in a way. Yikes! Fire Ants! That sounds rough! I didn't realize AL had those. I have seen them in TX and that was enough!

Also, you said you liked fantasy romances. Have you read the Fourth Wing series? I really loved the first book and the series itself is good I think. And of course A Court of Thorns and Roses series? I liked those too. I think fantasy romance is becoming a thing now and I am really enjoying it.

yes! And my daughters hair is RED, so it really adds to the overall look.

Good for you with exercise attempts! I don't like the gym either. I started a walking group at work and we all walk about 25 minutes in the morning. I try to do weights for about 20 minutes 3 times a week. Thats about it for my organized exercise! Its so hard! Good luck this week!

[automatedeating]

Pinkie - I haven't read Fourth Wing! Thank you for the suggestion.

That's so awesome that you organized your walking group! Good for you!!

Monday, June 23
- walked in the morning -
B: coffee (out of milk)
L: yogurt with berries and banana slices
ice cream
D: pizza.... and some chips

Tuesday, June 24
B: coffee with milk
L: yogurt with berries and banana slices
leftover pizza
ice cream
some chips

Wednesday, June 25
- walked in the morning -
B: coffee with milk
L: yogurt with berries and banana
should plan a snack or something since I keep eating ice cream after work - had glass of milk -
need to plan for actual protein at dinner - had chicken and steak, both leftovers but times of protein so that good.
Had ice cream.

[pinkhippie]

You're welcome! Hope you like it!

Every time I eat yogurt as a meal, I think of you!

[automatedeating]

Yogurt as a meal - yep that's me. Fairly "automated eating" right?

Thursday, June 26
B: coffee with milk, glass of milk, part of a banana
L: yogurt with berries and banana
D: ice cream first, then ground beef burrito
some chips

I am a hot mess. Attended an online AA meeting before bed. I like to listen. Sometimes it gets my head in a better place. But then I had an anxiety episode after I went to bed. Wasn't as awful as some can be, at least. I tried to "sit with the discomfort" which is apparently something I struggle with and is a big part of what I used alcohol for. Eventually fell asleep but then Flowerpup wanted out TWICE last night. Suffice it to say I'm feeling grouchy, depressed, and like a failure this morning. I'm so gosh-darned lazy and I can't seem to fix it. I thought quitting drinking would get me back to the high-productivity of my 20's but alas I'm as lazy as ever. Also feeling awful about my personality and friendships and just feel like crap this morning. Also feeling FAT.

Friday, June 27
144.8
B: (will be) too much food
L: (will be) too much food
D: (will be) too much food
will snack on too much food
will not exercise
will be a slug
will probably say stupid things to someone at work and feel like an idiot
OK OK I'll stop. I can already hear everyone in the world saying I should have better self-talk

[pinkhippie]

Aww Auto, I am so sorry. It sounds like you are having a rough day!

I have a terrible time sitting with the discomfort too. Good for you for doing that! That is so hard! It sounds to me like you had a major win last night! Unfortunately the sleep loss probabaly isn't helping you feel like it. I feel terrible when I don't get good sleep. Super negative.

Also Flower-pup! How is she doing?

I hope you can get some sleep tonight and be gentle with yourself! What you are doing is hard and it takes energy! Our energy is finite and sometimes its just directed somewhere else. It doesn't mean you are lazy or a failure. I am sending you feel better about yourself vibes. <3

[automatedeating]

Thanks Pink. I'm feeling much better today - in fact, I was back to my normal stability level (haha what's normal but you know what I mean) by mid-day on Friday so it wasn't a forever-bad mood thankfully. Flowerpup is such a sweetheart. She is a little overweight and a little lazy - just like me. HappyHerder is 9 now! He is way more energetic than she is still. They are a good balance - her laid-back personality to his spastic self.

Let's see what did I end up eating yesterday?

Friday -
B: coffee with milk, glass of milk
L: yogurt w/berries
ate a huge bowl of ice cream when I got home
grilled burgers for dinner
had a bowl of chips
ate another bowl of ice cream before bed

oh my gosh written down this is quite the clusterf*** isn't it? I guess I have to laugh.
Did swim for a long time yesterday after work and that was nice.
OH, and amazingly got a lot of chores done in the evening so that Saturday is fairly low-obligation

And I did sleep really good last night and even slept in over an hour longer than my weekday get up time so that was great.

Saturday, June 28
B: coffee with milk (leisurely, lovely), glass of milk, paid bills and worked on the budget
---then hubby made us all egg sandwiches and hashbrowns---
and THEN Challenger peer-pressured me to go play tennis with him and Sexy. Sexy just kept looking at me with this gleam in his eye - he knew i'd give in to Challenger's pleas. So it was fun. I usually beg off because i ripped some horrible cartilage in my SI joint 2 years ago playing pickleball and now even my long walks sometimes end up with my back hurting. But I just did the "warm-up" games for the guys, then headed off on a walk and listened to a podcast about the 12 steps and then part of a romance novel. The steamy scenes in an audible book make me laugh out loud - bwahaha I don't think that's the intention but they sound so silly.

got home and had a great long swim. I like to do exercises like "pistol squats" (one leg, and you go all the way to the ground) on the steps in the pool and lots of other fun moves that there is no earthly way I could do them if I wasn't in the water. I do love swimming this time of year. So see how much happier I sound today?

I went to another online AA meeting last night and actually shared a little and then said I think I'm ready to get a sponsor and work the steps. I hope I don't accidentally pick a crazy person to be my sponsor.

I'm going to aliquot out yogurt for 5 days. I also do this with my supplements now and I've had a lot better success taking my supplements when I have them set out days in advance for morning and evening.

L: yogurt with berries and honey
--had a klondike reese's ice cream--
D: Sexy made these delicious chicken tacos with lots of cilantro. yum also had a very few chips with salsa.

i thought about having ice cream after dinner. i often think of it since it's clearly a dopamine substitute for alcohol. but i really just wasn't hungry at all and i "played the tape forward" and knew I'd be too full and my body really didn't want to deal with digesting ice cream when it was trying to sleep. so i actually had a pretty normal amount of food today. hmmm. that's good.

[pinkhippie]

Im so glad you are feeling better and that your sad mood didn't end up lasting all day. Honestly, reading your food I was like wow that sounds like an awesome and delicious food day!
Oh yes Happy Herder! Aww he is 9. So is my basset hound. He only recently started acting old vs puppy. Glad Flowerpup is doing well too!

I have a friend that tore her achilles playing pickleball! It took her over a year of rehab to recover! Ouch. glad you have mostly healed from your tear. Sounds like a fun and active day!

Re steamy scenes in audiobooks, I feel the same way. Do you ever listen to one while driving and then pull up next to a bunch of other cars in traffic during a steamy scene? I always feel self conscious and turn it down. Not that they can hear I don't think...

Good for you going to another AA meeting and starting the process of getting a sponsor! I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you don't get a crazy person.

[automatedeating]

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Pinkie - with my car not having AC, my windows are definitely all the way down all the time.

I found a good podcast that goes very methodically through how to do Step 4 (inventory of character defects). It's very useful. You make 4 lists. The first is of all the resentments had against a person, group of people, or even an institution. in a second column Next to that you briefly explain why. Some people's lists are 30 pages long, haha. Then, go back through your list and add in column 3 - and how the resentment was birthed by basic instincts for 1) society (companionship, self-esteem or prestige, etc); 2) security (emotional or material); or 3) sex.
After all that you go through the list AGAIN and try to determine the part you played in the ultimate formation of the resentment (due to selfishness, dishonesty, or fear)
So I might ultimately understand that my fear of losing value to a friend caused me to resent their success.
Then you do basically the same sort of process for a list of fears. Then a list of sex conduct. then a list of harms to others.

As I've been trying to organize my approach to tackling these 12 steps, I found 2 documents in my Google drive that I wrote during down times. One was created Nov 2022, then next in September 2023. Both were me journaling about needing to get my life together and to QUIT DRINKING. THE EXACT SAME THINGS THAT I LAMENTED IN MY PREVIOUS POST. Hello - have I been cast in a new version of Groundhog Day?????

I am 88 days alcohol free today. Other than that year I went without alcohol (it's so weird how I barely remember any "epiphanies" or whatever from that time), this is the longest amount of time without alcohol I've had as an adult.

B: coffee with milk, glass of milk
L: - brought yogurt to work - yes at work today to get a lab all prepped for this week
D: (will be)
definitely will have ice cream tonight

I slept really well last night, probably because of the exercise? I seemed to have reached a plateau of sleep improvement after quitting drinking, but maybe exercise is the missing ingredient to get back to 6 hour chunks of uninterrupted sleep.

[pinkhippie]

Oh Right! I forgot about no AC and windows down! Eeek!

Good for you for going 88 days without alcohol! I know what you mean about finding things you have been working on for years and then discovering you are still working on the same exact thing. It sounds like you are making good progress though!

I hope your Sunday workday is a short one!