Ellis tries again!

[Ellis]

Soprano, thank you!

Amy, Thanks. It does feel like this is my new way of eating. I think I've build a great foundation over the years with mods, but even though they didn't work out it did give me a good no-S training haha.

So yesterday was a pretty excessive S-day and I felt so full that I didn't have any desire to snack or have some sweets today. I wasn't planning to go for one S-day, but I think feeling this way after an S-day is a good opportunity to try it out.

[Amy3010]

An accidental green day on an S-day - this is the kind of progress that is easy to ignore, but in my opinion, this shows the habits are starting to be really ingrained. Nothing wrong with that!

[Ellis]

Well, it's not going great. I am going to te gym for 2 months now, and nothing changed, at first I thought my jeans fitted better, but it's not, I didn't lose any cm's. My weight is heavier than ever, and I am just at a loss. I changed no-S again from 2 S-days to 1 and I am still not losing weight. I am at a loss. It feels like I wasted all that time... and I feel so depressed about it. I just don't know what to do. Counting calories makes me so miserable and obsessive, I will go straight back to binging. I just want to see some progress, even if it's just a tiny bit. But there is none, my weight is going up. I feel like I will be this weight (which is way too high for my frame) forever and will be miserable forever.
Any suggestions? I can use all the tips I can get!

[Amy3010]

Hi Ellis - I hear your frustration and I understand feeling down and depressed about having tried everything and nothing seems to work.

When I am in this place, I ask myself what the alternatives are. Just give up trying and eat whatever I want? Further restrictions? Continue on this path of moderation? It's natural to feel like giving up when nothing seems to work, or to want to massively restrict (only to know it will make me crash and end up bingeing). But then I remind myself that I won't be happy with these alternatives, either.

When you are so close to your goal weight (I am in the same boat as you are) it can be incredibly frustrating. But you just have to keep thinking about how good it is that you are so close, and also that with your current habits, you are staying relatively stable. Then you might look at what little tweaks you can make to gently nudge yourself in the right direction. That could be what type of foods you put on your plates, the amounts, or other little things. I know you have the added worry of your blood sugars, but these can really be small things. For example, can you fill half your plate with salad and veg, and eliminate something higher in calories?

Think of it this way: your current eating habits support your current weight. You are very close to your goal weight, so you should not have to take massive action: your habits have gotten you this far, and now you just need to continue to adjust them to get to your goal and maintain there. I see it as a constant work in progress. I know it's frustrating but hang in there!

[Ellis]

Amy, thank you so much for your reply—it’s incredibly helpful. I honestly don’t have a better alternative at the moment. Yesterday, though, my blood sugars were all over the place during my S-day, and it made me question this way of eating again. It feels so doable and sustainable, yet my blood sugars just aren’t manageable on S-days.

I’ve been thinking about why I can’t seem to keep the S-days less "wild", and I realized it’s because my N-days are quite low in calories. That makes my weekly S-day trigger an “all-or-nothing” mindset. I wish I could be comfortable with the moderation that comes from setting a carb limit. The challenge is, to make it work, I’d need to allow sweets every day—otherwise I end up feeling deprived. But that could be bad for my LDL cholesterol, which is already too high. I’ll be retested in January, and if it’s still high, I may consider statins… though I’m worried about potential side effects.

Right now, it feels like I’m constantly torn between keeping carbs strict to control my blood sugars and avoiding deprivation to prevent cravings and bingeing. I just can’t seem to find an approach that works for both.

[Ellis]

Well, I’ve followed No-S successfully for almost 47 days, and if it weren’t for my type 1 diabetes I would have kept going. Unfortunately, the S-days still trigger an all-or-nothing response in me, which makes me eat too much in one go. It’s incredibly difficult to keep my blood sugars under control when that happens, and I end up correcting until deep into the night.

I know the alternative is really challenging — a carb limit — but I’m going to give it my best shot. I’m going to try it for 30 days to see how I feel. It will be an extra mental load since I’ll also need to watch my saturated fat intake. But I hope it goes well. Basically, it’s like a No-S structure with three meals a day, only I’ll see if I can include something sweet with it. I really hope it doesn’t trigger a binge. I’m on day 2 now, and my blood sugars are already much more stable.

[Sammybunny711]

Dealing with the diabetes sounds so challenging, Ellis. I completely get how mentally taxing that is. I have been enjoying my 3 meals a day (with the option of adding in something sweet with meals) and it's nice. There's no ambiguity and no Ses to manage.

[Amy3010]

Hi Ellis! Given the challenges of your diabetes, it makes sense to adapt your eating pattern to work for you and help you keep your blood sugars under control. I am sure that you will figure this out!

[Ellis]

Sammy, it definitely is! The plan does sound pretty similar to yours!

Amy, thank you as always for your support! I really hope my motivation stays strong.

Day 4 of my new plan, and I finally feel like the number on the scale is starting to go down. My blood sugars are soo stable, and that makes me feel really good. So far, so good. There haven’t been many tempting foods around, although I did buy some cookies so I could add one to my meal each day. I’m curious to see if moderation will actually work for me. Tomorrow will be a good test: Mr. Ellis has a business dinner, and I plan to order pizza for myself. The plan is to weigh it out for the right portion and save the rest for the next day. Pizza is super carby, so it’s usually a lot less than I want. I just hope that feeling of deprivation stays away.

[Amy3010]

I'm glad things are going so well, Ellis! Good luck with the pizza challenge tonight - you can do this!!!

[Ellis]

I messed up thursday evening (of course after I just posted how well it's going ) by forgetting an insulin dose, it completely derailed my blood glucose. It was very high the whole night, so I felt awful in the morning. It was a fun day though, because went shopping with my parents and enjoyed a lunch. And the pizza went well! I didn't feel deprived, the portion was fine. I added some cherry tomatoes and cucumber slices to the meal and I enjoyed it! But I was super tired of my blood glucose.
Yesterday was my official weigh day, and I gained 0.1 kilo's... so basically maintaining. It feels like my food noise is a lot less, because I don't have any forbidden foods which is good. I do have to pay more attention to my saturated fat intake.

[Sammybunny711]

I messed up thursday evening (of course after I just posted how well it's going ) by forgetting an insulin dose, it completely derailed my blood glucose. It was very high the whole night, so I felt awful in the morning. It was a fun day though, because went shopping with my parents and enjoyed a lunch. And the pizza went well! I didn't feel deprived, the portion was fine. I added some cherry tomatoes and cucumber slices to the meal and I enjoyed it! But I was super tired of my blood glucose.
Yesterday was my official weigh day, and I gained 0.1 kilo's... so basically maintaining. It feels like my food noise is a lot less, because I don't have any forbidden foods which is good. I do have to pay more attention to my saturated fat intake.

Gosh, that sounds so hard!! I'm sorry you have to worry about insulin dosages and stuff. That sounds so hard to keep up with. I hope you can feel better today.

[Amy3010]

I'm glad to hear that despite the problem with your blood sugar overnight, that you were able to have a good day afterwards, and enjoy your reasonable pizza dinner - that is a win!

[Ellis]

After two weeks on the carb limit diet (which at first seemed to be going well), I decided to switch back to No-S. In the first week my blood sugars were fairly stable, but by the second week it became a struggle to keep them in range. The reason I gave up on No-S before was because the S-days threw my blood sugars off. But if I can’t keep things steady on the carb limit plan either, then what’s the point? Might as well go back to no-S.

To make things harder, last Friday my cat was put to sleep. He was my first pet when I moved out on my own 15 years ago. We lived together for eight years, and when I got busier with work, my parents took him in so he wouldn’t be lonely. He made it to 15 years. He’d been sick, but I didn’t expect that Friday would be his last day. Different vets said different things, but it was clear he was uncomfortable. At least he enjoyed his favorite snack the day before. I saw him one last time, but I wasn’t there when he passed. If I’d known, I would have been. My parents were with him, and they said it was quick and peaceful. Still, after 15 years, losing such a sweet, gentle companion has been hard.

In that moment, the carb limit felt overwhelming. Returning to No-S, oddly enough, felt like going back to an old friend. Something familiar, a little bit of control when everything else feels heavy. For a few days I just ate whatever I wanted, and it was comforting. Today is my new “Day 1” on No-S, and it feels right.

[Soprano]

So sorry to hear about your cat, glad you took it easy for a while it's important to grieve.

Hugs

Jx

[Amy3010]

Aww, Ellis, I am so sorry to hear about your cat

I'm glad you found some comfort in having an S day...I hope moving forward with it this time goes well!

[Sammybunny711]

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, Ellis. That is so sad. Pet friends are such warm companions. Hang in there. Grief takes many forms and time to heal.

[Ellis]

Thanks Amy, Soprano and Sammy. I will start tomorrw, the last couple of days were red, and I just couldn't really focus. So tomorrow is a fresh start.

[Ellis]

Well, no, not today. Felt sad after work and got a huge craving.... so I bought a (small) cake... Food is my comfort, and I felt like I needed it. Next week I have two weeks off work, this is my last workweek... I am not really in the mood to go on a trip yet, but maybe...

[Sammybunny711]

Be very gentle with yourself. It is hard to get back on track sometimes and that is perfectly okay. Food IS a comfort. And that is okay.

[Amy3010]

Hang in there, Ellis, and like Sammy said, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. Maybe it will be helpful to get away on a trip?

[Ellis]

Thanks, Sammy — it really is!

And thank you, Amy. I think you’re right: a trip could be really good for us, though I’m not sure where yet.

Anyway, today is my first true green day for the 100th time — no more starting over or switching around. My goal is 75% green days, though I’m hoping to go even higher. I feel I’ll do better with one S-day a week, plus flexible S-days for holidays, trips, or dinners outside the weekend.

I haven’t weighed myself in a while since I’ve been eating a lot, so I’ll just see how I feel for now. I’m also going to try not to weigh in daily. Instead, I want to focus on accepting wherever No-S takes me.

[Amy3010]

Good job on the green day!

Shifting your focus to the habits (input) rather than on what the scale says (output) is a great approach.

[Ellis]

Thanks, Amy!

Well, yesterday was my S-day, and it turned out pretty wild. I ate a lot and ended up feeling uncomfortably full. I managed my blood sugars quite aggressively to avoid any crazy spikes. Overall, I think it went okay—good enough, I guess. Still, it always makes me realize how much better I feel when I stick to controlled portions. But… no more switching. I hate how my brain keeps contradicting itself. Just stick to the plan…

It was a weird week, but I do feel better now. Not about my body though… I made the mistake of weighing myself after that crazy S-day. I know it’s just food and water weight, but I hit a number on the scale I haven’t seen in a long time… and not in a good way. It’s the highest in a while.

I’m also not sure yet how to handle my two weeks off from work. We had planned a city trip to Rome, but the weather forecast was pretty bad, so we ultimately decided to stay home instead. Maybe we’ll take a car trip to Belgium—we’ve been to Antwerp and Ghent before and really enjoyed both. So it’ll mostly be a staycation with some day trips. My goal is to keep as many green days as possible, but I won’t deny myself good food on those trips.

[Sinnie]

Ellis, I just wanted to say I’m so sorry about your cat. I feel your pain and grief as my little dog also passed away somewhat unexpectedly last Friday. She lived with my mom the last few years, and we’re all just heartbroken. She was 14 and the first dog we bought when we got married.

Enjoy your two weeks off! You have such great options of where to go. I’m envious!

[Ellis]

Sinnie, thank you — and I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. I can imagine how hard that must be. I have a little dog myself and she’s my world. I hope you can find some comfort in the memories you shared together. I’ve been looking at lots of photos and videos of my cat, and I’m starting to smile again when I see him… but it’s still tough. Pets are so precious, they are family.

It’s been hard lately… “diet brain” is back, trying to convince me to switch again — this time to intermittent fasting. And honestly, I don’t even know why. I never cared about IF before, but suddenly it’s on my mind. I know the reason: I’m a binger, an overeater. It’s not good for my blood sugars, but the thought of “just having an eating window and then eating what I want” sounds so tempting. Of course, I know I could still overeat during that window. The truth is, I don’t even know how to eat like a “normal” person anymore. My sweet cravings are intense, and while No-S helps keep them somewhat under control, I wonder if IF would just make me eat more sweets. I’ve been reading and watching videos about it, but honestly, it scares me to even try it. But at the same time, it's fascinating.

Yesterday was supposed to be a green day, but… staycation still feels like vacation. We went to a nearby city for lunch, and they had an all-day breakfast menu. I couldn’t resist the pancakes. They weren’t very filling (European portions are smaller), so later we had some fries. It was nice, but I ended up feeling guilty.

I track my progress by the percentage of green days, and in the beginning I need a lot of them to “earn” S-days. But the way I’m doing it now just feels too hard. I don’t know. I’m feeling a bit down about everything. I get so jealous of naturally slim people who just eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. I do have some fullness cues, but they don’t feel “normal.” None of my "succesful" previous methods sound good to me anymore.

Anyway, thank you for reading if you made it this far.

[Sammybunny711]

I'm sorry things are so hard right now, Ellis. As someone who has yo yo dieted and suffered from eating disorders for 24 years, DON'T DO IT. Don't diet. If I had just left well enough alone when I was thirteen, or even in my twenties, I fervently believe I wouldn't be in a 220 lb body right now. Trust me. No S is PLENTY.

[Amy3010]

I am sorry you are going through this. I understand your frustration and disappointment 100% - and how feeling this way makes you think you desperately need to find another approach, anything, that will get you out of this circle you seem to be going around and around in, get you to stop obsessing about food and diet, and get the weight off fast. I also feel this way on a regular basis, just yesterday, frustrated at two red days in a row, I was looking at some of my old diet books, the ones with extreme plans, which I know I will only be able to follow for a day or two before it triggers a huge backlash binge...but still I regularly think about giving up on No-S and trying something else, something a lot more regimented.

I look at those books and then remind myself how unsustainable that would be, and then I think about the opposite - giving up on No-S and just eating what I want, when I want. I ask myself if I would be okay with my body being at the weight/size that would be the outcome of that way of eating. I know in my heart that right now I would not be happy with myself (maybe someday I will feel differently about it, I think it's a very personal question and good to check in with ourselves - are we doing this for our own peace of mind and happiness or other important reasons?)

I guess what I am trying to say is that I get how hard it is and why you keep doubting if you are on the right path. I think a lot of us here on the boards have struggled with disordered eating for many years and this has had an impact on our way of thinking (obsessing) about food and diet. I think a lot of us came here looking for a sense of peace around diet and food, in addition to weight loss. But the fact that we have been dealing with this for so long might mean that we never really find the perfect solution, perfect peace of mind, or even permanently get to our goal weight - this might just be something we spend the rest of our lives working on. And if that is the case, then we need to figure out what is the most sustainable, peaceful, healthful way to organize our eating habits in a way that supports our physical and mental health, a way that is sustainable in the real world.

For me, that way is my personal approach to No-S, and no, I am not perfect at it (just look at all the red on my HabitCal ) but when I think about the things I mentioned above, I always come back to it. It is a continual work in progress. There is no one answer for everyone. Hang in there, Ellis!

PS: writing this out inspired me to let go of two of those old-school diet books

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis,

First, I am so sorry you lost your cat. Our beloved pets never live long enough; all we can do is cherish them while we have them and remember them with love when they're gone.

Second, I'm sorry that you're struggling so. IF clearly helps a lot of people, and it's possible it could help you. Just as clearly, a lot of people either struggle with it or realize the approach backfires on them spectacularly (this was my experience, over many, MANY separate past attempts - absolutely disastrous). Given your Type 1 diabetes, is it possible to approach it as a temporary experiment and try it out for a pre-specified period of time? Since you monitor your blood sugar consistently, perhaps you could assess how it effects your blood glucose levels, as well as your mental health and happiness? Or would that be too risky?

Third, what Amy said. 1000 times over.

Whatever you decide, know that I am thinking of you, wishing you well, and hoping you feel better about things soon. All the best, WINhappy

[Ellis]

Sammy, you’re right… I really shouldn’t fall into that diet mentality.

Amy, wow, I’m honestly a bit speechless. Your words really touched me, and you’re absolutely right. We’re constantly struggling to figure out what works—maybe even chasing that perfect feeling, wanting to tick all the boxes, which is of course completely unrealistic. You hit the nail on the head: there probably isn’t a perfect way. Since the damage to my eye from diabetes, I’ve had an extra challenge added, which makes finding balance even harder. I really admire the way you approach this, Amy—you’re doing so well, even if you don’t always feel that way yourself. I deeply appreciate that you took the time to share this. It really helped me reflect on what my expectations actually are. Thank you so much for your support and wise words!

Win, thank you! Our dear pets never live long enough, and it’s always such a loss—but I’m so grateful for the beautiful years we had with them. And you’re right about IF, it can go either way. I’m sorry to hear it went so badly in your experience. The reason I wanted to try it was just to reset a bit after an overeating day. I feel so uncomfortably full then, and I want to keep my blood sugars stable. I tried it today after we’d been away for a few days (of course eating plenty), but we also walked a lot. My blood sugars were all over the place, so today I didn’t start eating until noon. It actually went really well, but at the same time, I wonder if I could stick with it as a lifestyle. Honestly, I don’t think so. I’ll just keep going with No-S. I’m on day 11 now, and today I really want to make it a green day.

So my current “mod” is aiming for a high percentage of green days. If I succeed today, I’ll be at 63.6% green days. I want to get that number above 70% eventually. So here we go again! Like Amy said, for me too, the alternative just isn’t an option. No-S isn’t perfect, but I do believe it’s the best long-term solution.

[Sammybunny711]

Are you keeping a spreadsheet? Is that how you know the percentages?

[Ellis]

Are you keeping a spreadsheet? Is that how you know the percentages?

I track my green days with an app that shows me the percentage. In the beginning, each day has a big impact on the number, but over time, one S-day here and there makes less of a difference.

[Sammybunny711]

Ahhh gotcha. I wish I could do an app like that, but I have an android phone. Bummer. I might have to start a spreadsheet.

[Amy3010]

Ellis, you're welcome! I'm glad you found it helpful - I didn't mean to hijack your thread!

It helped me to write it and remind myself of those things as well...

Let's just keep plugging along - perfection isn't necessary, as long as we do the best we can.

[Ellis]

Ahhh gotcha. I wish I could do an app like that, but I have an android phone. Bummer. I might have to start a spreadsheet.

You can, the app is also available for Android, it's called Habit Tracker.

Amy, no, I am glad you did! It's super helpful! And I am pleased to hear it may have helped you as well!

And once again, I am looking for other ways. I checked my previous methods and I did 3 meals a day, everyday. The thing is, it's nice and peaceful until you travel to a fun place and want to try new foods, like snacks at Disney for example. There is just no way to make it a part of a meal, it's just a snack. I am not sure how to handle this. That's why I eventually failed. I have this all-or-nothing kind of mentality.

[Sammybunny711]

Ooo okay! I'll have to look into it.

[Amy3010]

I totally get the all-or-nothing thinking and feeling bummed you failed. Maybe when you travel to a fun place would be the time to take a non weekend S day? Like me with the buffets, maybe we have to cut ourselves some slack for those kinds of occasions?

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis, I think all-or-nothing thinking really challenges a lot of people. I second Amy's suggestion to loosen the reins a bit during experiences like yours at Disney. Doing so might take some pressure off during events or experiences whose entire purpose is fun, relaxation, and enjoying life. Regardless, I'm glad you had fun at Disney! Best regards, WIN

[pinkhippie]

Hi Ellis,

I just wanted to say I am sorry for the loss of your cat.

Also, I agree with Amy very much. It is a constant struggle. I go back and forth on my eating approach as well. I have realized over these past few months that I am an all-or-nothing thinker in all aspects of my life, including eating habits, and I have been working on being ok with being in the middle, with all aspects of my life, including my eating.

I agree with everyone else, and think allowing for exceptions on fun trips and non routine things is the way to go.

[Ellis]

Amy: I think you are right about that! It's supposed to be fun!

WIN: Thanks! I think so too, maybe I need to let go of that need to be perfect when it comes to control.

Pink: Thanks so much!

Because of our staycation, I really struggled with my blood sugars, and it reminded me once again that S-days aren’t good for me. Mentally they’re wonderful — my “diet brain” loves being allowed to eat without limits, it feels so free. But I always end up feeling so full, and my sugars get completely out of balance. So I’ve been spending the past week getting them under control again. It’s going okay-ish.

The scale is still being mean, but I’m trying to be patient. Yesterday I started working out again.

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis, Yes, please be patient with the scale. Blood sugar control must be paramount as poor control threatens one's capacity to manage everything else. Great job resuming your workouts. I hope you're enjoying them. Best, Win

[Ellis]

Hey everyone, it’s been a while, and things still aren’t going quite the way I’d like them to. Losing weight feels harder than ever. I also got sick with a nasty cold and sinus infection, which kept me from working out for about a week. My weight is up, but friends and family keep reminding me that it could also be muscle or water retention from exercising.

I’ve been seeing a therapist, and we’re now looking at how I can better manage my blood sugars and my eating struggles. She’s not a dietitian, of course, so she can’t give me nutritional advice, but she does think I need to let go of perfectionism when it comes to my blood sugars — and that also includes the carb limit I set for myself. According to her, I need to accept that trying to stick to that perfectly just isn’t possible without burning myself out from the pressure. My endo is happy with my numbers, and I need to learn to be too. I told her about No-S, and she said it’s actually the perfect balance between control and freedom.

So here I am again — back to vanilla No-S. I’ve also challenged myself to walk 10k steps every day. It can be hard, though it’s easier on workout days. Yesterday I didn’t spread my steps well throughout the day, so I ended up marching around the living room at night, haha.

This week I managed to keep all days green. I’m looking forward to my S-days! Maybe I’ll go a bit overboard again, but we’ll see. They definitely feel earned though!

[Soprano]

Well done on a week of a green. Enjoy your weekend, before you have the snacks and/or sweet stuff take a moment to make sure it's what you really want and then slow down, sit down and enjoy it

[Amy3010]

Hi Ellis! It sounds like working with your therapist is helpful, good for you for getting that support.

[Sammybunny711]

I totally feel you, friend, on having to let go of perfectionism. It can be SO difficult. I hope you are doing so much better compared to October. Hoping the holidays aren't too difficult on you when you're working to keep a healthy mindset!

[Ellis]

Hi everyone,

Thanks Soprano, Amy and Sammy!

It’s been a bit quiet here, but I wanted to give an update. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much improvement since the last update. I’m still struggling intensely with the same issues—impatience, dissatisfaction, blood sugar levels, etc. It feels like, no, it literally is, standing still. My weight remains at the high number, just like in previous months. If I get a bit “strict,” I lose weight (water weight?), but it’s not sustainable even though it makes me extremely happy at that moment.

This afternoon, I saw an old comment from Oolala, and it stuck with me. It was along the lines of: “Maybe no-S doesn’t give you exactly what you want weight-wise, but what’s the alternative?” That gave me a good moment of reflection. The alternative is literally my current situation: doubt, dissatisfaction, switching from diet to diet and weight gain. That’s not good!

There’s this thought that has been on my mind regarding vanilla no-S. Because my S-days can sometimes be, or no, ARE high in calories, I thought my N-days had to be extra healthy. I realize now that I’ve sometimes approached my N-days too loosely. I also always have a shared office lunch where I have no control over what food is served. The difficult part is that it’s all right in front of you on the table, and overeating becomes very easy. I end up eating more and more calorie-dense food than usual. That one afternoon, of course, isn’t the biggest problem, but it does add up. Fast food is also very tempting, and I’ve considered making it an S-day.

I also get stressed about the scale. Exercising doesn’t help with that. I understand and know very well that exercise is healthy, but it does disrupt my weighing moment, which is extremely frustrating. I’m wondering whether I should stop weighing myself.

These questions have been on my mind:

Should I stop weighing myself for a while and focus entirely on N-days?
Should I make fast food an S-day?

I hope you are all doing well!

[Soprano]

I'm struggling to understand how exercise disrupts hopping on the scales?

S days are to allow you to feel you are not missing out. In the early days of Nos people do tend to go overboard with them. It's not a bad thing as it's important you don't feel deprived. However at some point you do need to get a grip on those days. I used to treat them as maintenance days. So not an opportunity to go silly but a day where I can relax and have a snack if I'm hungry or a biscuit if I want one.

If you want to lose weight, at the end of the day, you really need to consume less calories than you expend:) I am not advocating for calorie counting!

Your future self will thank you for eating less ultra processed food.

Yes I would make the fast food an n day.

Re weighing, it's difficult. If you don't have that will you go off the rails?

Why not weigh daily. Your weight can fluctuate so much if you only weigh once a week you might just hit a high fluctuation. Mine is 1lb higher today than yesterday, am I bothered, not in the slightest because I know I haven't put a real pound of fat on in one day.
If you record daily weight on a graph you might well see a gradual line coming down.

Jx

[Ellis]

After strength training, your body retains water, which means weighing yourself gives a distorted picture. That bothers me, even though I can explain it.

Yes, unfortunately for me S-days were never completely “settled” after a while. I followed No-S for a long time with modifications for that reason, but somehow that ends up backfiring because it feels too strict. I’ve tracked how much I eat before, and my S-days often undo my N-days, which means I don’t lose weight. I did have a couple of "mindful" S-days before, so maybe vanilla no-S can work for me. I guess maybe I should give it another chance.

Do you mean keeping fast food on an N-day or making it an S-day? I understand that fast food can sometimes be easy and convenient, but I’d really like to try planning it only on S-days and keeping my N-days as healthy as possible, but maybe I should just try it before making it into a mod.

I’ve weighed myself daily and weekly, and it feels like it’s making me a bit obsessive. I haven’t managed yet to desensitize myself from the number I see. Deep down, I know very well what causes my weight to fluctuate (S-days, salt intake, strength training), and yet it still brings me down. I also feel like I want to accept the weight vanilla no-S brings me, because like Oolala said: "Is there a better alternative?" In my case, none that is sustainable.

I think that because I can see that my N-days aren’t perfect yet, I’m going to try to make the entire month of January fully green. This month has extra S-days and I have one red day, so I hope I can limit any weight gain.

Despite all, no-S did bring me some wins. I can decline food without even thinking about it (on N-days). And my coworker even said to me: "Wow, you have so much willpower!" That felt pretty good, haha.

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis, First, I'm sorry you're having a hard time lately. Second, I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from about the question of whether you should weigh yourself. Strength training is so important and healthful and yet..... WOW, does it mess with one's day-to-day weight (go ahead, ask me how I know). You must do what feels right to you, but perhaps your focus on a green, Vanilla S January will help you feel more positive about things. At the very least, you'll gather that much more data to help you sort out a solution. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best, WIN

[Soprano]

Sorry yes I meant make fast food an S day. But if life means your meal has to be fast food occasionally don't let it derail you.

I understand you now re the exercise and weighing. Do you write your weight down? Maybe noting post exercise days next to weight log? Or as you suggest forget the scales for a while.

We can all tell you what we do but you know yourself best and need to make it work for you.

I agree the long term benefits of strength training are worth the short term scale weight increases.

Maybe use clothes loosening or fitting back into something as a measure of success.

It's not easy but keep showing up for yourself

Jx

[Ellis]

Thank you, Win! Haha, so you’ve had those difficult moments with the scale after working out too? Do you still exercise, and do you weigh yourself often? I do think that focusing on getting through this month as well as possible and making January as “green” as possible will give a clearer picture of what I can do.

Soprano, thanks for thinking along! Yes, I track my weight with an app, Happy Scale. Even though we all have our own path to our own success when it comes to weight and dieting, I really like hearing each other’s ideas. The support is really helpful!

I’m going to try to let go of the scale a bit for a while. I got a new Fitbit from Mr. Ellis, and it motivates me to increase my daily steps again. I have a deskjob, and it feels good to be active after work. I’ll enjoy my S-day today, and from tomorrow I’m going for healthy meals! On to a green week!

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis! Yes, I do still exercise pretty much every day. I shoot for a minimum step count daily just to get a basic amount of movement, and my real workouts vary between strength training and some cardio workout DVDs. I shoot for consistency over going hard-core but I still have to force myself to do it (given my choice, I'd just read a book ).

I do weigh myself every day, and have for a long time. Over the years, I've experimented with not weighing myself for a month or two and always come back heavier, which starts me on a worse spiral than if I just check in every day consistently. Some people do quite well without weighing themselves regularly—I'm just don't seem to be one of them. But the days after strength training ALWAYS post higher numbers and that still psychs me out if I'm not mindful. Navigating the scale issue is definitely a mine field.

I hope this isn't too much information, either in general or because this is your thread, not mine.

I hope your Fitbit continues to motivate you. That sounds like a really cool present!

[Ellis]

Thanks, Win, for taking the time to reply to my questions! I really appreciate hearing other people’s thoughts and approaches—it’s very helpful.

Last week I had one red day. It was Friday, and once again my brain started searching for a new way to lose weight faster. Ironically, the scale showed that I had actually lost a bit of weight. That surprised me, because my days weren’t perfect. Wednesday was green, but it was quite a high-calorie day, and on Friday I caved and bought two pieces of cheesecake—and ate both of them. I thought I could just stick to three meals, including sweets, and everything was fine… until the nighttime cravings hit and I ate the second piece of cake as well.

At that point I thought: no, just stick to vanilla No-S. So I decided to count the day as red and move on. And lo and behold, the next day my weight was even lower. That felt great. It made me realize that my green days don’t have to be extremely strict. Obviously I shouldn’t be eating cake on green days, but having some higher-calorie days isn’t the real problem.

So Wednesday and Thursday will be my S-days, and I’m hoping to make Friday green. I feel much more at ease about my S-days now. I was really scared of the freedom, but I’m trying to be mindful, and I don’t want to eat until I’m uncomfortably full—which helps a lot. I’m feeling hopeful.

Oh, and my daily step goal is 7,000. I used to aim for 10,000, but I sometimes really couldn’t reach that, and 7,000 feels more manageable. I think consistency is more important than hitting 10k every now and then.

[Soprano]

Sounds like you are doing well. Learning to cope with red days and carry on is part of the journey.

I agree re consistency being more important in exercise than achieving a certain number.

You will probably find some days you do more and others a little less but just keep doing it.

Jx

[Amy3010]

Consistency trumps perfection every time. Sounds like you are on a roll!

[Ellis]

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a lovely time.
I have to be honest, I literally ate myself sick. Oops. I really made the most of my S-days, with the result that I felt so full all day that I became nauseous. After Christmas I wanted to switch back to eating three meals a day (with sweets allowed at breakfast), and I was super motivated because of feeling sick. But I really love the No-S system, where I can neatly mark my days as green or yellow (and preferably no red ones, haha).

If I eat three times a day with sweets included and then mark my day as green, it just doesn’t feel as good to me as following No-S, and it’s hard to track whether I’m actually eating “healthier.” With No-S, I avoid fast food on N-days and I’m not allowed any sweets at all on N-days, so it quickly becomes clear whether I’m eating healthier by marking green and yellow days.

So when January 1st approached, I decided to stick to No-S after all, and I already have my first green day in the pocket. I’m confident that today will be green as well. My plan is simply to focus on getting my green days and not worry too much about S-days.

[Amy3010]

Sometimes a simple plan is the best plan!

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis,

More and more, I agree with Amy's statement that a simple plan is the best plan. I also understand exactly where you're coming from about not being as sure whether you're actually eating better overall if you have sweets on an N day. Great work on already having a green Vanilla No S day! All the best, WIN

[pinkhippie]

Hi Ellis,

Congrats on the green! I am also doing vanilla No S this time around because it IS hard to tell, and I think I feel better without regular sugar.

Heres to a green week for all of us!

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis, I just wanted to say "Hi" and that I hope you're doing well. All the best, Win

[Sammybunny711]

I hope you're doing well, Ellis!

[Ellis]

Thanks, guys, for checking in on me! I really appreciate this board and all of you so much!

Pinkhippie: Yay for vanilla No-S! Let’s do this — we can!

Win: You’re right — the more complicated it gets, the harder it becomes. Simple plan for the win!

Amy: I’m starting to believe that too!

Sammy: Thanks!

It’s going okay-ish. I fell off the wagon for a bit, my genius mind thought IF was a good idea. My binge brain figured it could be a loophole: just binge and eat whatever I want during my eating window and still lose weight.

But No-S taught me well, so I struggled to completely let loose, and I honestly had no idea how to eat without any rules. That feels kind of pathetic. I mean… obviously I know I can’t gorge on cookies and chocolate everyday and be healthy at the same time.

The fasting itself actually went okay. My N-days usually aren’t that bad though. It’s always the worry and impatience around S-days that makes me want to diet hop.

Anyway… I fasted, skipped breakfast, and then… I binged. So, back to No-S. I have two red days and I feel so stupid. But I just have to get back on track. No more other diets. Just focus on N-days. It will be fine.

[Sammybunny711]

Don't feel bad. I can't do IF at all. It always led to me feeling hunger-crazed. I really don't get how people do it successfully. It just doesn't compute for my body! So good on you for sticking with what works for YOU.

[WINhappy]

Hi Ellis, I'm just checking in to say "hi" and that I agree with Sammybunny. IF works for some people but if it doesn't work for you, that's OK. That recognition simply frees you up to pursue a strategy with which you can succeed. I hope you've been doing well (or at least feeling better) since your last post. Best regards, WIN

[Ellis]

Sammy: I know right? It sounds so nice, but it makes me so obsessed with food.
Win: Thanks for checking up on me, I appreciate it! You are right though, I guess I needed to try it to get it out of my system.

Okay, last week I made a plan to stick to one fixed S-day and use floating S-days for vacations and special occasions. It worked at first, but yesterday I had a floating S-day and once again I ate until I felt uncomfortably full. We were going to order something tasty, and I planned to keep lunch light because everything tastes better when you’re actually hungry. But binge-me went looking for food and raided the kitchen cabinets. I honestly tried to check in with myself to see if I was still hungry, but I still ended up overeating. (I’m probably struggling with this because I’m missing the hormone that tells you when you’re full.) My blood sugar was also completely out of whack all night.

I know I was successful before with eating three meals a day every day, without having fixed S-days. And suddenly it clicked — the motivation to do that again is there. I’m at my heaviest weight in years, and I honestly feel deeply unhappy about my body and appearance. I don’t want to go through another summer feeling like I need to hide in oversized clothes. Right now, with the cold, that’s easy with comfy sweaters — but soon that’ll get harder and harder.

My plan is the following:
- three main meals every day
- breakfast is fruit and a protein shake or low-fat dairy
- lunch is sandwiches with spreads/salads
- dinner is mostly vegetables, a small amount of carbs, and protein (vegetarian), but occasionally I can order fast food
- I’m allowed to skip breakfast for dessert, but I can only compensate on the same day
- no forbidden foods
- one plate per meal, but for now I’m not restricting myself to a small plate size

I feel motivated, and I hope it “clicks” again like it did a few years ago.
During vacations, I’m going to give myself more freedom to enjoy things. That’s always where this plan used to fall apart, because it became too strict. But for everyday life, this feels like a pretty good plan for me.

[Sammybunny711]

It sounds like you have a plan tailored to your needs, Ellis!! I hope that it is super successful for you. I know how hard it is to hit upon the right mods for the right situations. We've got this!