Susan's Daily Check-in

[freegirlnow]

Wow! I stumbled upon the No S Diet by accident...saw the link elsewhere and thought, "What the heck is that about?". It was more than a coincidence because I have been at my lowest in awhile lately...gaining weight this winter and getting depressed, feeling helplessly out of control. I awoke that very morning (just last Friday) thinking, "I have to take back my power". But I refuse to diet at this point in my life...the whole mindset, counting, meal prep, bla, bla, bla. I need something simple that I can live with. Voila!

I started that same day...did perfectly fine with it. Had the weekend to indulge, ate one miniscule snack and had a couple soft drinks, my main vice....but that's ok, I will just have it on weekends and not in excess. Monday came, ended up eating only two meals...unplanned, I just didn't have time for lunch....so that was fine...I really enjoyed a nice dinner, full plate. And here it is Tuesday....I am jazzed.

I can actually live with this simple plan. I am about to add an additional S to it by buying a small sledge hammer and trying to get more physical....I am incredibly excited and so utterly relieved to know that a simple plan could change my life. Gratitude, total gratitude...because while we all look outside ourselves for what we need, the magic lies within...we simply need a game plan we can work.

[freegirlnow]

Another successful day behind me. I am actually having nice meals and finding it difficult to eat more than twice a day...we'll see how it goes but the bloat I normally feel has already begun receding.

[freegirlnow]

Still progressing and sticking with the program. One meal yesterday was kinda heavy plated so last night I opted for a bowl of soup and glass of milk for my dinner....I don't own scales so I won't know for sure if and what I've lost but I really don't care....I am not struggling to lose x amount of poundage within a set time frame. I am simply glad to gain some control over the feeling of being out of control. This is so amazingly simple and smart I do not feel that I have any reason to not live my life no essing. That is key, right? Pretty much every diet will tell you that you must follow a maintenance plan to keep the weight off....why not just change habits to begin with? It may be slower but hey, be here now.

I'm using creative visualization and otherwise trying to stay in the moment and really just love myself regardless of what I weigh. Isn't that the real road to happiness in general? But I do have to come to grips with being a hundred pounds overweight and the limitations that go along with that....not fun. So, I thank God...and Reinhard for my stumbling upon this website....I even bought a small sledge hammer and began the workout yesterday.

[freegirlnow]

Well, the week has come to a close and s days have arrived. I actually felt ok to have a fortune cookie at midnight last night...teehee. It was, after all officiailly a new day. I think I may have lost weight this week, week one. I started out this first week really filling up my plate at meal time. I am filling it full even now but making better nutritional choices for sure. If I allow myself enough protein and stick to whole grains, and high fiber it helps stave off the hunger for sometimes 6-7 hours so that on several days I actually only consumed 2 meals. Yesterday was one of those days. I am one of those people who gets the intense rise and drop in blood sugar from eating refined carbs and sugar so I am amazed that the right foods can eliminate hunger for so many hours.

It's been kind of a stressful week around here and I've had grandkids around frequently as well. I've found myself ok with providing their snacks and such but the hand to mouth habit is the thing... I notice I start to reach for something at times without thinking but thank goodness it never makes it to my mouth. Old habits die hard.

Anyhow, now my S days are here..hubby and I are taking a little day out and a night away so I will enjoy the pool and hot tub this evening and have decided that I will allow myself a Pepsi (my vice) and maybe even a dessert on Sunday. I really don't want to undo the good I have achieved but also realize I must allow myself the S days in order to keep this livable.....I am pretty thoroughly thrilled about this whole No S dieting because I really find it the easiest way to get a grip on my life and my weight as well as enjoy! It's just the best thing to have discovered at the point I had reached.....desperation and depression.

I will one day make a point of weighing myself although I have no scales currently. I threw them out when I realized the main thing I was weighing was my self esteem. I know how much I've weighed in the past at this uncomfortable point in my life so I can guage my weight fairly accurately....I know where I am. Maybe in another couple of weeks or so I'll get on a scale and post it here. But the thing is not what I lose as much as what I gain....self control, new habits and hope. Thanks again Reinhard....you are a Godsend!

[Jammin' Jan]

Sounds like you're off to a good start! Be sure you eat enough at mealtime. Don't be too quick to skip a meal.

Welcome to No-S!

[freegirlnow]

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll be fine...even though this may be the only area of my life I currently have within control.

The weekend was indulgent but didn't feel over the top. Of course the Pepsi is always the one thing I look forward to. I snacked Sat. night on some trail mix, a few chocolates, (approx 200 cal worth) and popcorn. Dinner last night was Zesty Nachos at Denny's. Obviously these were not the best choices, but then not the worst. I did try to remain somewhat conscientous in getting the most enjoyment with the least caloric and fat damage. Now we are back to Monday and No S! In summary I don't feel like I undid the majority of the good that I accomplished through the prior week.....I'm content and moving forward. So, Ok, week two begins and I am good to go....I can live with this degree of change in habits and still enjoy the things I love within reason. And that is the whole key to success....being able to live with the plan....because it's not a temporary thing but a life alteration.

I am learning to love myself enough to give this to myself....As a fat person I've spent a lifetime convincing myself that I am being good to myself by overindulging in food and snacks....but the reality is I have been punishing myself for being fat by getting fatter...and not loving myself enough to treat myself responsibly and well. It's good to recognize this. I am learning to love myself now....and to recognize that I deserve to be free of the emotional and physical pain of obesity. Bottom line, my family loves me regardless of my weight...and it's pretty irrelevant to strangers what I look or feel like...but it matters to me and it is up to me to care enough to treat myself with the respect and dignity I deserve and to stick around on this planet for awhile.

Last night I walked as the weather was rather warm (for March in Ohio) and I needed to blow off some steam from personal upsets over the weekend. It helped immensely. This morning I talked DH into walking and we covered about 3 city blocks, not one way, the entire round of each block, uphill half the time. It was good. Maybe it isn't a lot to many but for me starting out again it was a great feeling. And I am still trying to get into the shovelglove thing...not so easy with fibro and arthtritis...but I intend to keep moving one way or the other.

[freegirlnow]

I love food. I love to eat food. I love to cook food. And yet, for some reason I apply negative vibes and connotations towards food and the act of eating.

Case in point: At 4:30 AM I awaken with intense hunger. I am in a quandry...if I snack I am breaking the plan. If I have an entire plate or meal I limit my later options for regulating mealtime. I am in the mindset of denial...a mentality of "not breaking the rules". At the same time I know that a simple glass of milk will squelch the hunger pangs and send me back to rational thinking. But noooooo.....I somehow think I must deny myself relief and suffer...that if I break a rule I am bad...and heaven knows I want to be good.

What is THAT about? This is somewhat of an epiphany taking place. I never truly realized just how seriously dysfunctional my relationship with food and eating is. Why do I choose to fight with food and suffer from some perceived control it holds over my life and sense of reason? Where this dysfunction stems from (early childhood, bla, bla, bla) or how it began are moot points. I have a saying on my fridge..."The past cannot be changed but the future is whatever you want it to be." Great thought....if you can get to the root of how to progress.

Self discovery is the answer and the journey upon which this quest for freedom rides. Finding the real me. I know I am in there somewhere. Ultimately, this is my life...I have to live with my own best interests at heart, loving myself and taking care of myself...making practical and healthy choices, creating and accepting a lifestyle based on common sense and rationale. I'm drinking the milk.

[freegirlnow]

One plate per meal yesterday but PB on homemade bread and milk before bed...I was starving. Right now is 2.5 hours since I had scrambled eggs, toast and juice and I feel famished....going for another cup of Joe and hope that tides me over. It's only 10AM and a long day ahead. I can do this...but am I losing weight? Will have to find out one day soon I guess.

[freegirlnow]

I actually managed total success yesterday...and today. I have been drinking tea in the evenings, it seems to help curb the hunger at times. I reviewed some points that I really took to heart. "Be strict before you screw up, not after, and you'll soon find you have very few "after"s to worry about." I think this is key to No eSsing. Once you begin to 'allow' exceptions then the gig is up.

As per our leader, "It's about what you do most of the time, not about achieving some kind of world's record....The knowledge that there is no make up test, that you have only one chance to do each day right, will make you that much more serious about passing the first and only time around. It's a principle worth applying to other aspects of life." By succeeding on a daily basis you really do build up your willpower and change your habits. Repeated small successes reap so much than do repeated failures. Think about it....you are actually changing your brain plasticity to create new habits with each success. Motivation increases the plasticity which literally reorganizes neural pathways based on new experiences ....I just watched it on PBS!

So, down to basic details...yesterday started with the scrambled eggs and toast, and left me hungry an hour later but somehow I held off until lunch and decided I needed protein and a little fat to satisfy my gnawing stomach so I broiled a rib eye steak and grilled some summer squash. I was satisfied for about 7-8 hours. Late supper was a grilled veggie stir fry with a few slivers of leftover steak tossed in.

Today I had French Toast for breakfast made from the homemade bread I baked yesterday, very easy on the Maple Syrup and none of that High Fructose garbage. This is a first for me to allow a sweet but again, balance and common sense come into play when making a judgement. Breakfast runs late since we are second shifters. Tonight I cooked up some turkey and potatoe dumplings and some green beans. Might opt for a late light supper as I need some fruit and greens to round out my nutritional needs.

I have milk at every meal...I find it helps me to eat less...even though I fill my plate I find myself unable to consume as much as I put on it....so I figure the milk is a good thing as it rounds out my meal, provides me with needed calcium and fills me up. I am leaning towards better portion control as I approach my 3rd week of No eSsing...it definitly takes a little time as you don't want to deprive yourself and yet you begin to get real and adjust your eating to "normalcy".

I really feel as though I have lost a couple/few pounds. I am thinking of acquiring a set of scales sometime just to see where I'm at in the near future....I am a little scared that I will become obsessive about weighing though so for now I will maybe weigh myself somewhere else when I feel comfortable doing so. No rush...my clothes will tell me.

I am not saying much to anyone about this diet for the moment...I want to gain some momentum and allow the results to speak for themselves. I am not going to set myself up for a letdown or sabatoge (however unintentional it may be). This is a way of life....the benefits will reveal themselves in due time. I need to focus my energy, not give it away.

[freegirlnow]

It's Monday and I am back in the saddle....I feel as though I have not made every food choice the all time best food choice but I am sticking to the NO S plan regardless. The weekend was real reasonable for me....no going off the deep end or anything. I feel pretty good about everything....I made a bad food choice last night but I am paying today...lesson learned.

My greatest realization I have had in these past 2.5 weeks has been the fact that when I overeat I am simply not being kind or indulgent to myself but rather in essence I am punishing myself for being fat...by getting fatter. It's really self-loathing. I am finally learning to love myself enough to stop punishing myself....Recognizing that dysfunction alone and being able to manage it with the No S Diet is probably going to save my life and a portion of my sanity at the very least.

Regardless of allowing myself an additional glass of milk and slice of PB bread last week I feel on top of the game and am moving forward....this is, after all my life, I'm not trying to break any world's record. I love that while we have every weekend to kinda' screw up, as each weekend passes I am making better all in all choices and recognizing that my habits are beginning to change....brain plasticity I tell ya!

[freegirlnow]

Doing great...felt like I was having a little set back yesterday, feeling low and when I get down like that it's so hard not to turn to food....I did make myself a sandwich and even put some lousy potatoe chips on it.. . Afterwards I thought, " Oh well, I am not going to beat myself up emotionally....this is, after all...life...not a marathon." So, as it turned out I ate a few grapes on the side and I left it at that. Rational thinking made me realize that I did not blow anything. It was one meal, one plate...eaten a little prior to my normal dinner time but I opted to call it dinner, leave it at that and guess what? It was a No S day after all!

I looked in the mirror this morning and feel confident I have lost weight.... I am feeling it and seeing it. I look at it this way....as I head towards the end of week 3; if I have even lost let's say 3 lbs maybe...and I take 3 lbs of butter (fat) and sit it out on the counter and have a good look at it....it's a lot of fat. So, I am very happy to feel myself progressing....learning as I go, becoming more conscientous and kinder towards myself too.

[MerryKat]

Congratulations on doing so well and on treating yourself so much better. As Reinhard continually says it is the Habit that is important.

[freegirlnow]

Thank you so much! Another day of progress with No S-ing here.

[freegirlnow]

Well, this is Day 21 and I rock! This has been the most sensible, easiest answer to a lifetime of doing battle with the feast beast inside of me....because there has never been any reasoning with it.....NOW, I feel as though I have conquered that beast with this simplest of plans which has allowed me to gain control over my life of chronic dieting failure.

Do I get hungry? Oh yes...but now I am able to deal with it...to hold out for what I truly want, and to savor my meals leasurely and really enjoy eating normally instead of doing it habitually and mindlessly.

Alas! The weekend is here and of course I want my fountain Pepsi. But each weekend I am less tempted to overindulge, more aware of not wanting to undo the week's good. So, I am relaxed but aware...a good state of being. And during the week when I am no essing I have actually begun to use a smaller plate and smaller portions, realizing that I really have no need for overkill on the dinner plate.

I wonder how much or if I have lost any weight but again, I truly feel that I have. One day I will check that out when I feel completely confident about getting a positive result from the reading. Until then, it's all about habits, life changing habits that have really begun setting in and giving me control over a lifelong challenge to stop compulsive eating. I really do rock and so does Reinard and all the friends here who lend their support to this group.

[Jammin' Jan]

Congratulations on reaching day 21! It's a great feeling, isn't it?

[freegirlnow]

Thanks! YES! It really is a great feeling but it has gone by so fast I am amazed....As much as I try to "be here now" I am eager to get a few more weeks behind me and hopefully start seeing a definite difference...and see a break in the weather here in Ohio so that I can begin walking regularly. It's still pretty exciting just to have found NO S and this forum. To me it's a small miracle to find what feels like a lifeline.

[swimfit]

" It's still pretty exciting just to have found NO S and this forum. To me it's a small miracle to find what feels like a lifeline. "

I am only 1 full week into No S and I relate to nearly every single word you shared!

[freegirlnow]

Coming back from the weekend is the hardest part of No S Dieting. But No S gives me hope and a way to manage my life (i.e. my weight). While the weekend was not as 'controlled' as I thought it might be, still...it was the weekend and I ate like I would normally have eaten prior to No S. No binging or anything, but a few sweets, mainly Pepsi..my vice. I do without it all week, I should just leave well enough alone at that point...but nooooooo. So, I kinda go through withdrawal every Monday....ahhhhh well. Today is sunny and warmer than Ohio has been for awhile, DH is home on vacation this week so I am making him walk with me. Let's get going then!

[freegirlnow]

Monday was a success. Today is Tuesday and so far, so good. I finally bought bathroom scales and weighed in. Suffice it to say I am a minimum two pounds less than where I figure I started...it might be slightly more of a loss but I will give myself the 2lbs. and go from here. Hubby says it looks like more. He is so sweet.

I am actually kinda excited but a little anxious too as I don't want to become obsessive about the scale thing. Balance. I will stay in this flow because it is where balance exists. I finally found out that balance is not something you aquire but a place you get into....chi, flow of life, positive energy. Get in the flow and balance happens.

[freegirlnow]

I am 3/4 of the way through the No S book and it is encouraging to say the least. I just posted a review on Amazon. The book goes right to the heart of the whole problem of obesity and opened my eyes to how out of control the epidemic is. No S is my lifeline. Reinhard is the voice of reason and you can't help but understand why this works after reviewing the book. Today is my 26th day and I am doing amazingly!

Slept late, (we are 2nd shifters) lunch was chicken croquettes (leftover from dinner last night), okra and whole grain bread stuffing, milk...supper was an order of boneless bbq wings, bisquit, and cole slaw (KFC), I had 8 oz of 2% chocolate milk as it WAS DH's birthday. I considered a fountain Pepsi but decided against the excess sugar despite the special occasion. I know I am allowed an S day but opted out of taking it. Tonight I had a bowl of Cheerios with 2% milk.

This is my life....managable for what feels like the first time ever. I am 52 years old and I believe I will become a new person practicing this way of life. I love the fact right now that no one need even be aware that I am "dieting". I do not feel deprived, I am on a most even keel and I know that this is the right time and the right plan for me. It just feels "normal"and sane. I am most grateful. I believe I will lose this weight and never battle again. I truly believe this.

They say when you want soemthing bad enough you create a desire, from there you must believe in the ability to achieve it and then imagine it accomplished (i.e.creative visualization). This is the way to manifest your heart's desire out of the pure potentiality that lies within each and every one of us as co-creators of our lives. I see it now, no longer just a dream but an actuality....No S is the only REAL answer I have ever found to the question of how to fix my life of overeating.

[freegirlnow]

Success continues...although I have days like this where I just feel incredibly fat (justifiably so) I know I must accept myself regardless. I don't want to start that old loathing thing that leads to mistreating myself by stuffing my face. I am worth far too much. I value myself regardless of my weight and so I stay on track...oh yes I do, even at a restaurant buffet! Success!

[freegirlnow]

I have arrived at an official month of N S-ing and I have not screwed this up yet. Yeahhhhh! Can't say I count a glass of milk and one slice of PB bread as a screw up so I count all days successful and bow unto myself. It is true what Reinhard says about becoming more moderate as time passes...you know, I started out with a good heap of food on my plate and that has literally leveled out. I am down 4 lbs in the month.

I am a food addict. And while I don't adhere to any 12 step program I certainly can appreciate the "one day at a time" line of reasoning. Only for me, sometimes it's more like one moment at a time. I apply "the cosmic seed" concept. I cannot believe that I have, in this short amount of time, actually changed my habits. That in and of itself is far more impressive than any poundage lost.

The weekend arrived. All hell is capable of breaking loose and yet, I am in control...conscious of actually 'NOT" feeling a need to snack or binge. OMG! Can this be so? I even prepared a nice dinner last eve for friends and yet barely ate a full plate (single layered w/ a salad on it) I enjoyed each bite, but the conversation and company seeemed the objective more than eating...it was a totally weird but incredibly liberating experience. I feel normal.

I allowed myself my fountain Pepsi and even had some candy and a couple cookies over this weekend but I still ate less than I would have eaten prior to No S. These S days are truly necessary in order to keep on keepin' on. So, if you are screwing up during the week just stop it, ok? Eat enough at mealtime to get you through. Just create the habit....don't worry about the food...if I can do this, so can you!

Oh yeah! I am in the flow and that's the way. uh huh, uh-huh, I like it!

[freegirlnow]

It's 11:30 and I have not eaten a 3rd plate...I've had plenty though....keeping it a simple bowl of cereal for late night. A good Monday all in all...and it feels good to get back into the groove.

Lunch: (Our main meal of the day) Pork cutlet, scrumptous mixed green salad w/grapes, applesauce, baked potatoe cubes. Yes, it sounds like so much but it was a medium plate and normal portions, single layered. 8 oz milk to drink. So good.

Dinner: Chicken croquettes, whole grain bread stuffing, pineapple. Single layer, less than a full plate. 8 oz milk to drink.

Late: Bowl of whole grain Cheerios...ohhh, I added some grapes on the side and feel ok about it.

I'm drinking more milk and eating more fruit than usual but I think that is good...the milk really helps fill me up and the fruit is a great source of fiber aloong with whole grains. I need to increase my veggie consumption and maybe decrease my protein slightly...but again, the protein is filling and I need the brain food

[freegirlnow]

Tuesday was great, successful. We went out for lunch. Emporer's chicken and fried rice....it was plenty...I brought the egg rolls home. Dinner was a burger on a bun and a fruit salad, late night supper was a bowl of cereal w/ banana. I didn't drink any milk on the side today...just forgot I guess. I am not a breakfast person...obviously I have my breakfast food late night...works for me, provides a late meal without a stuffed feeling before bed. I simply cannot go to sleep if I feel famished.

I love the structured freedom of No S. All I have to do is spread my meals out...I drink tea, water, coffee in between to stave off hunger. I stay busy and forget about food. The habit has arrived. Weekend S days are a little unsettling because I don't have that 'fence' around me but it's all good becuase I truly never feel deprived.

I am losing, slow but steady. It's probably easier for me because I have a lot to lose...and even then sometimes I just want the weight to come off overnight. Realistically though, I have never been happier with the process of dieting. The lifestyle change has been so much easier than anticipated and who would ever know I am dieting?

I look at it this way....My family and friends love me whether I am fat or slender....and the rest of the world just really isn't involved enough to care for the most part. Soooo, there is just no rush to prove anything to anyone....I can relax, knowing that I am living my life without deprivation or misery, and yet in the long run I will lose weight. It just doesn't get much better than that. Plus, it gives my body the necessary time to adjust to the loss and that's a plus cuz I DON"T wanna look like the saggy baggy elephant.

[freegirlnow]

Successful....sometimes I am just simply amazed that I have stayed diligent on No S since day one. That would likely never have happened on any ordinary diet. Do I feel like I am dieting? Noooooo. I anticipate every weekend and yet, it's all good. I will weigh in maybe in a week or three. I am no longer obsessing about any aspect of dieting. What a relief.

Lunch: Tuna casserole (yummy w/ pepper jack cheese), fresh fruit salad, cottage cheese, 8 oz milk.

Dinner: Bowl veggie soup w/crackers

Late: Cereal w/banana and milk

[freegirlnow]

Well, Friday noonish I ordered Emporer's chicken lunch special & pork lo mein. While I have almost always finished the whole take out order at one sitting, I did manage to successfully divide it into a lunch and supper meal, each w/ 8 oz glass of milk.

Around midnight hubby came home with a Wendy's single/no cheese and a small fountain Coke/Pepsi...at my request. I am counting those for my S day today because it was past midnight...is that fair and realistic or am I fooling myself? I'm not sure...but I have been considering changing my No S to run from Fri at 6PM to Sun at 6PM....in part because Fri evening is more social and by Sun evening I am ready to get back on program...any thoughts out there? I don't believe I am sabatoging myself (at this point)as I have been a diligent No Esser from day 1 and I feel good about my progress.

It was really difficult to stay off the scales today....I really feel like I have lost more weight and I feel it and see it in my face and upper body. I know it's hard to imagine seeing a difference when one is as overweight as I am but I do see it. Anyhow, I refrained from weighing myself just the same and have let that thought go for the betterment of my esteem (just in case). I have convinced DH to go walking on this sunny Sat. morn and so I am off!

[freegirlnow]

I decided I am fooling myself and that stopping my S day on Sunday evening won't likely work...trial and error...feeling a bit confident and cocky perhaps last Friday. I was feeling soooo wonderful Friday but I abstained from hopping on the scales....will wait another week or two. Although I am definitly noticing some loss.

Sunday night is here and I am feeling kinda crappy. Every weekend my digestive system seems to go awry. Too much soda maybe or just the processed snacks perhaps. I had too many chocolate mints and a few ginger snaps over the weekend. Otherwise I didn't really overindulge. My food choices are really pretty healthy through the week and I just don't watch it so closely on the weekends. By the time Monday rolls around I am in need of getting back on track. Sooooo.....I am seriously going to try and limit my soda to one a day on S days to start and go from there...it would be best to simply eliminate it. The phosphates are so incredibly bad for my arthritic bones anyhow...probably look like swiss cheese.

The good news is that I walked Saturday and Sunday both. A couple of miles today...I am so grateful for the more Spring like weather. Hubby is very supportive and accompanies me...bless his heart. I look forward to the structure that Monday will bring and despite the tummy troubles did not have a terriblly indulgent S weekend.

[freegirlnow]

Doing fine, I can see progress. Monday was another perfect N day, Tuesday follows in pattern. I feel sooo much better on N days. I love the feeling of being in control for the first time in so long. I am more comfortable through the week, I like No S-ing better than being wishy washy about what and how I eat on weekends...although I still need the freedom of my S days.

I am looking forward to shopping for a new article of clothing one day soon. I will likely wait until I have dropped a size but I can feel myself headed there....I am encouraged and elated at my progress. I feel the weight loss, even if it may only be a few pounds...I do feel it. Sooooo maybe Friday I will get the scales out....we'll see.

Monday I had 3 plates, milk at one meal. My plates and portions are getting smaller. I have reduced to my meals to a small-medium size plate...it varies. I never use a large plate any more. I do not pile or stack. I eat level plate fulls. I rarely virtual plate (too much margine for error). One plate or one bowl for cereal or soup. I am making smarter choices and I am feeling better than I have all winter.

Today we went to the new Chinese buffet in town. One plate, not stacked. Hot tea. This evening I had a bowl of shredded wheat with milk. I am likely in the market for a green salad and a serving of chicken/stuffing/zuchinni casserole later. I rock big time.

I left a review at Amazon last week but it never appeared so I left another tonight. Reinard rocks big time too!

[freegirlnow]

Not sure what happened today. Normal lunch, then I was starving 2 hours later. Opted for a bowl of cereal...but then went for some homemade peanut brittle the neighbor brought over the other day...ate about 4 pieces. Thennnnn I made a bowl of popcorn and munched the better part of that. Had a bowl of pea soup and crackers for supper. Didn't blow the diet but this is the first time I've fallen off the wagon on an N day. I am only human, this is just life and tomorrow is another day. Enough cliche's for one day too.

[freegirlnow]

Steven Tyler screaming in my head..." I'm back! I'm back in the saddle again." Maybe not quite that exhuberent feeling at the moment but 'with the program' for sure. Yesterday was just weird...it felt like a controlled escapade but I guess that's bound to happen. I am thankful that I remain fairly constant with No S and my N days. It feels so balanced and 'secure' maybe...like a safe zone. I like being there and don't feel right lately when I leave that zone. It must be what the adaptation of a new habit feels like.

Taco casserole, side salad w/cottage cheese

Grilled steak salad w/cheddar cheese and ranch dressing

Bowl of grapes/fresh pineapple, cheddar cheese, milk color]

[freegirlnow]

Been a few days since check-in. Got the scales out and felt somewhat disappointed that I was actually up 3/4 of a lb....but who knows why. Maybe still eating too much. I did fairly well all weekend...ate some sweets but ate little of anything really. Had a piece of store fried chicken today and reacted adversely to the MSG in the coating...so feeling kinda crummy.

Don't plan on getting those scales back out for a month or two. Feeling kinda low but I am staying with the program, despite my falter last week which was not really a big deal anyhow. I wish there was a magic pill to make the weight disappear...but there is not. And short of a miracle this is still the best and most reasonable way I know to manage my eating habits and still lose weight along the way.

Some days I am ok with a slow, steady loss and creating good habits. Other days I want miracles...today is one of those days...where ya just feel kinda down and blue and you can't get slim fast enough. But I know from past experience and big losses that life doesn't change for the better just because you become smaller....some aspects may improve but problems and stress will always be there. If we are not happy now, we most likely won't be happy in a smaller size body.

It's only when we fix ourselves from the inside out that we really make lasting changes for the better. And so even when we reach a goal that we work hard to attain....we must remember that the means to our achievement, the fact that it sometimes takes blood, sweat and tears,...that is what matters. It's not the reaching of a goal so much as it is the fact that we find ourselves worthy of making the journey, taking the risk... and so we do what we need to do to prove to ourselves that we deserve to create what we desire and know we are capable of.

[freegirlnow]

It's been a few days since check in....busy days. I am staying on target and have come to a place where I feel that all I know is No S. Seven weeks on No S tomorrow and one slip up. Not too shabby. It is a most positive thingto have created a new habit and have it just be what it is.

I am not sure if I am losing weight right now. I hope so. I am with the bunch who says they will get the scales out in a month or a year and see. No point in setting myself up for disappointment by a number on the scales. While desirous of a quick fix to this burdensome weight, I know the reality of how quick fixes set me up for rebound. This is definitly not a quick fix in any sense of the word...but I am not sacrificing anything either.

I hope I can get my energy up some over the summer. It's so discouraging at times ....the fibro keeps me in a state of constant fatigue. The arthritis keeps me from the physical activity I used to take for granted....getting older with chronic pain and fatigue sucks sometimes. I try not to let it define me...sometimes though, it just kicks my butt and brings my spirit down.

[freegirlnow]

I seem to be in a negative mindset..I have not deviated so much from No S. I had a few crackers late last night in addition to my 3 plates...but my plates are not as well balanced nutritionally lately...I am not inclined to plan ahead terribly....I have not been checking in.....am I losing my zeal? Is this common after a few weeks? I won't throw in the towel..God knows this is the only livable alternative to starving. Food has lost its power to a greater degree than I ever thought possible. I probably need to reread my No S book and face the fact that I must get more selective about my food choices and more physically active.

[freegirlnow]

I guess I was in a slump...and now I know why I was feeling so fat and so low......you don't have a 'visit' for 6 months, think you are menopausal and voila', outta the blue....grrrrrrrr. I was just bragging how relieved I was to be "through the change." Ha! At least am feeling much more balanced.

I am noticing a strange phenomenon....I am aquiring a shape.....other than round, that is. Something is happening and I do feel more positive today. I began noticing my shape about a day or two ago. I know I am still fat and will be yet for a long time .....but I seem to have begun deflating a little and am happy to notice the areas where it is apparent.

[freegirlnow]

I really like the fact that I am getting a shape. I am feeling positive at the end of 8 weeks on No S. It is a lifestyle, my life. Nearly every time I think about having a snack or faltering in any way I can usually stop myself by asking one question..."Why would I want to do that to myself?"

The psychology of viewing overeating for what it really is: punishment and unkindness towards oneself for being fat,.....and then loving myself enough to reject that type of behavior, has been a huge motivational force....in addition to an acceptable and much improved lifestyle via the creation of new habits.

I have done rather well with No S thus far. I have had 3 bad days that were not really bad at all from the perspective of my former habits. I have not yet admitted to more than John (DH) and my closest sister that I am dieting. One day the evidence will speak for itself. It's not that I don't want others to discover No S, I will promote it in due time.....it's just that I am avoiding self sabotage..... it lets me keep my power...not give the energy away.

I am feeling better. I am thinking maybe last night's visit was just a cervical polyp that burst ...as revealed by my internet investigation. We'll see but I feel great and have had more energy and determination the past 48 hours than I've had in a couple of weeks. I can attribute some of it to the welcome Summer-like weather of the past week....what a relief and a luxury.

So, it's all good. I can hear Tyler wailing, "I'm back in the saddle again...I'm baaack!" I am glad the weekend is here. It feels like a Summertime full moon Friday night.

[freegirlnow]

This was likely my best S weekend thus far. And I still had a fountain Coke Saturday and a bit of frozen yogurt shared with my granddaughter Sunday....but I was just more sensible in general. Monday has also been easier than most Mondays....8 weeks now on No S!

I read the post about No S not being restrictive enough....I sort of had that same thought early on....but again, this is my life, not a sprint....I am relieved I am eating in a structured manner and getting more moderate and conscious of eating whole, healthful food. You simply must eat well in order to stave off hunger. If you eat well, you eat less over time because it satisfies and meets your nutrtional needs...everything begins to balance. At least that is how it feels to me these days. I am pretty proud of my sense of balance and loving myself enough to be concerned with the quality of my food intake these days.

I feel the loss of weight. I am saying goodbye to my fat and growing in a spirit towards seeing myself as beautiful and worthy enough to be treated well.

[freegirlnow]

I'm back, after 2.5 weeks of not keeping track or staying on NO S. Just when you think you are on top of the game...wow! ..so easy to come crashing down. What the hell was that about? I'd like to blame this and that, health issues, a serious infection and lack of time and energy to care about No S-ing. But in the long run, I began feeling somewhat like I was spinning, not moving ahead quickly enough. Discouraging. And yet, all my own doing, or undoing. I did the same rebounding I would have done on a totally restrictive diet because of my own lack of consistency and structure. It's a theme in my life.

Well, I will begin again, just like my motto. And this time I hope I can find a little more lasting balance. This cost me nearly 3 lbs....so difficult to lose, so easy to gain. Such is life. Any words of advice or encouragement out there? I guess I just need to walk the walk. Even after all my years on this planet and everything I've learned, I still sometimes fall back into auto-pilot (living unconsciously) and the 'looking outside myself' mode once in awhile.

[blueskighs]

Even after all my years on this planet and everything I've learned, I still sometimes fall back into auto-pilot (living unconsciously) and the 'looking outside myself' mode once in awhile.

freegirlnow,

I can relate. I always feel a little crushed when I "wake up" without realizing I ever "fell back asleep",

words of encouragment? You are getting back on habit really quickly I think that is great! Sometimes going off the path is part of being on the path,

Blueskighs