Everyday Systems

Bah. Even yet another failure today, first thing in the morning too. I've been having terrible insomnia for the past week. This morning when I got up at 4 and couldn't get back to sleep, I ended up eating some sweets. Boo. Usually I can control myself when I wake up in the middle of the night, but my resistance, and my judgment in general, is way down right now.

Flora,

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time of it lately...

I wouldn't take that new york times article about your body "wanting to be fat" too seriously. I think it's far more likely that it's old, deeply entrenched behaviors that want to be indulged coming back. Most dieters never alter these behaviors on a deep level, and so as soon as they let their guard down, the old behaviors return. It might seem like it's the physical fat that's causing this eternal recurrence, but my bet is it's really the mental fat.

Reinhard

Thank you, Reinhard. My check-in looks really dire because the only thing I post here now are failures. In between failures, things are actually going pretty well. The hardest times are when I'm crazy-stressed at work or elsewhere in life and everything seems to be falling apart. That's when the rules tend to go out the window for a day or two. But crunch time doesn't come too often, and I've been able to right myself without too much trouble when it passes.

I do appreciate your support, a lot.

Failure yesterday: Girl Scout cookies came in. Not that that automatically means failure, but yesterday to me it did.