Imogen's Daily Check In

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Nov 05, 2018 3:48 pm

Sending good thoughts your and baby's way. How old is she? And do you have more than one daughter or am I getting you mixed up with Sinny or Tess or something?

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Nov 06, 2018 11:18 am

Thanks, Auto! I have just one kid and as I say, one is definitely enough for me

TUESDAY 56.9

(rapid water weight loss, I guess)

B: 2 slices ww bread with smoked fish and vegetable spread, half an apple
chai coffee (sweet and milky)
L: quiche, grapes
D: pierogi

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:54 pm

So how did daycare go?

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:53 pm

As bad as yesterday, and my husband reported that she had tried to escape once they got there. Well, it's only her second day, I can't realistically expect that an introverted 21-month old will perfectly adjust to the situation in a matter of days. I guess we're talking weeks, maybe months. Gosh, I'm still quite uncomfortable in social situations involving lots of people at the same time, and I'm 33. I completely understand her distress, but the daycare option is the best long-term solution we could come up with.
The fact that both husband and I have extremely stressful time at work right now doesn't help. I just keep telling myself that sticking to NoS at least eliminates the gluttony problem, so there's one less thing to worry about. As P said this afternoon, "let's not make the day worse by overeating".

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:11 am

WEDNESDAY

56.8

B: tuna&egg sandwich, small banana
L: quiche, pear
milky coffee
D: split pea soup, dinner roll
fail: 2 pieces chocolate, fudge candy, large piece of brownie

I had craved that brownie all day long, managed to white-knuckle it until early evening, and gave up. I wolfed down the candy in the hope that something smaller and less calorie dense would satisfy my desperate sugar craving. I should have eaten the damn brownie in the first place.
N seems to be making some progress in daycare, and taking interest in some of the activities, especially the musical ones. She's still complaining, though.
I'm incredibly stressed right now, and we'll be having guests over the weekend, so I won't be able to relax even then. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

alene1 · Post by **alene1** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 1:09 pm

Hello, and thanks for coming by my journal! It's really stressful to leave your little one at first. Thankfully, kids are so resilient, and I bet in short order she'll be loving the time time to play with other kids. Hang in there!

I've just let go of calorie counting too, and it is very freeing, though scary. You can do it, and you'll be much happier for it I think.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:18 am

THURSDAY

56.8

B: (large plate) 2 slices ww bread, salmon pate, 2 eggs, celery, 2 small pumpkin pancakes
fail: coworker brought some mini crullers, I had 1
L: open-faced egg salad sandwich, a little bit of sausage
D: chicken drumstick, 1/2 potato, cup of broth, 1/2 apple
fail: I ate a bowl of potato salad I was making for the guests, some chocolates and candy.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sat Nov 10, 2018 11:05 am

FRIDAY 57.5

B: cottage cheese with chives and avocado, slice of bread/butter, half an apple
L: whole wheat pb&b sandwich, milk
D: dinner roll, split pea soup
fail: two pancakes I was making for Nina

I have to stop viewing failure as a "treat", and see it for what it really is: self-sabotage that makes my previous efforts go to waste.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sat Nov 10, 2018 11:07 am

SATURDAY 57.1

B: cottage cheese with avocado and chives, slice of bread/butter, half an apple, 3 pancakes with maple syrup
L: sausage with fixings, roll, cruller, 4 squares hazelnut chocolate
snack: 3 squares white chocolate with blackcurrants
D: 2 pigs in blankets, salad, chocolate cake with blackcurrants

Ugh, I'm feeling so full this evening. Dinner was too rich, I don't even like chocolate that much, and I always feel yucky when I skip eating at least two pieces of fruit every day or have sweets on empty stomach. Tomorrow we're having dinner with extended family, but I don't want to go to bed feeling stuffed and miserable.
N is getting used to the daycare, I think. She waves goodbye or fist bumps the ladies that work there when we leave, she's started participating in the activities, and so on. Of course, she's not happy when we walk there in the morning, but it seems it doesn't last long. My more experienced friend told me to look for the signs of distress when we come to pick her up from daycare - if there are none, she's probably okay most of the time. Crying when we leave her there in the morning is normal and to be expected for a longer period of time. Sounds like reasonable advice.

alene1 · Post by **alene1** » Mon Nov 12, 2018 3:11 pm

I'm really tuning in to what I like to eat too, and what I don't like that much but always thought I did! lol The too-full feeling is really uncomfortable. It's definitely a challenge to find the just right feeling.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Nov 12, 2018 6:29 pm

Alene, it always amazes me how people believe they like or even love some food, only to discover it's not that good when they eat the thing with mindfulness and attention. We're so used to the autopilot mode.

SUNDAY 57.4

MONDAY 57.3

(national holiday)

3 S-days in a row! Whew! The weekend plus the holiday were so hectic I couldn't find the time to post or report my meals, so I only weighed myself. The family visit went as expected - we were all tired and yelling at each other at the end of it. What a mess. My eating was chaotic, too. I hate nibbling along and not sitting down to real meals.
N has come down with a cold, so no daycare for her this week. I'll take some days off to stay with her. Given the recent situation in the office, I'd rather care for a sick toddler than go there!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:26 am

Oh my goodness! Work must be stressful if you'd rather stay home with a sick toddler, lol. Good luck with the family situation, Imogen! So glad to hear that N is adapting to daycare; actually especially happy to hear that you are feeling a bit more settled about things.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:42 pm

Whew, I think I spoke too soon! I'm absolutely exhausted after this week, and I struggled A LOT to stay on track. I had extra nibbles when seasoning food, plus my dinner plates were really full. Combined with the extra S-day, no wonder why my weight stayed the same at 57.1 this Saturday.
Food-wise, the weekend has been okay so far. We attended a birthday party yesterday, so I had a piece of cake for dessert and some appetizers before the main course. I'm grazing today, but it doesn't feel good at all.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:22 pm

Monday -

I ate too little at breakfast, so I ended up cramming in all edible proteins I had at home in the evening
Tuesday -

same
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday -

back on track BUT with eyeballing my calories and portion control

I'm a small person with huge appetite and some serious cooking and baking skills. If I don't control what and how much I put on my three plates, the calories add up fast, and the best I can hope for is maintenance. I don't want maintenance, I want fat loss. I still don't know if I should stop counting on weekends or just set up some upper limit. Two wild days can completely wipe out any progress I've made during the week.
My husband is sticking to NoS without any problems. I'm curious about his weigh-in on Saturday - last week it showed 0.5 kg loss. Very encouraging!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Nov 23, 2018 11:03 pm

I also find that if Indonâ€™t get the breakfast right it throws me. Your cooking skills sound yummy!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Nov 25, 2018 12:10 am

Have you ever experimented with just Sunday being an S Day? I'm just curious, and have no idea whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing (or a neutral thing) for you.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Nov 26, 2018 7:40 am

On Saturday I went decidedly wild, eating all sugar in sightâ€¦ just because I couldn't get the treat I had been dreaming about for the entire week.
Sunday was much tamer. I tried out a new cake recipe, didn't like the final result, and so I left it almost untouched.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:57 am

MONDAY

Yay! Super easy N-day.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Nov 28, 2018 8:45 am

TUESDAY

Feeling positive!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sat Dec 29, 2018 8:22 pm

Long time, no see.
This last month has been a rollercoaster ride. N was continuously sick for three weeks straight (first a rather nasty case of strep throat plus bonus allergy for her prescribed antibiotic, then a common cold). The first few days were especially draining for us all, and we even landed in an emergency department due toher unrelenting high fever. Then we got news about one of our older relatives in an ICU. My husband had to go visit his company's HQ at the end of the month, so I was stuck at home with a sick toddler and a very bad state of mind. My mom had to see a dermatologist ASAP because of a strange mole spreading quickly on her chest (she's fine now, though). We had to cancel our Christmas plans which included visiting my SIL and seeing my in-laws there, and we also missed a traditional family gathering from my maternal side. I self-medicated with cooking shows, and in result I was breaking every NoS rule on a regular basis. Growing resentful, I resorted to calorie counting, which worked for exactly one day. Numerous birthday celebrations in my family combined with a weekend followed by three Christmas days made me gain half a kilo. Weight-wise, I'm back to square one, more or less, at 57.9.
On the plus side, I got myself a smartband for Christmas, and it gives me insane motivation to hit my 10 000 steps target. I've also restarted walking workouts, and words cannot describe how much regular exercise lifts my mood - to the point I don't even care about burning calories.
One interesting observation about S-days: my weekends are completely unsatisfying unless I bake something. That's an unbreakable habit I picked from my mom. If I don't bake a cake on Saturday evenings, I always end up eating random crap.
Enough with self-pity. I do have to admit I'm worried about Sunday, New Year's Eve and the New Year Day, but I try to stay calm. What counts the most is what I do from New Year to Christmas, right?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Dec 30, 2018 11:22 pm

Great post, Imogen! You had me alternatively laughing and then gasping! Glad your mom and N are OK.

I TOTALLY relate about the walking. It is my very best anti-depressant. And burning calories is exactly ZERO motivation for my walks. However, being able to move without pain definitely motivates me. I love feeling physically spry. And of course, HappyHerder gets his heart broken if we don't walk.

Girl, bake your cake! And tell us every Saturday night which type you baked! And then eat a slice Sat. night, and 2 slices on Sun, and then give the rest away on Monday.

And yes, these few days are a drop in the bucket compared to our long-term habits.

Happy New Year!

sharon227 · Post by **sharon227** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:48 am

Yes on the walking! I also do it for my mood and my health/fitness. I've never tracked calories burned or cared.

Interesting about the need to bake a cake weekly. The thought of doing that every week just makes me tired, but I can see how you would miss it if it's been a habit. But as automatedeating pointed out, bake your cake if it makes you happy! It fits in with the No S structure. And just like you said that what matters is what you do between New Year and Christmas, what also matters most is what you do between Sunday and Saturday (as long as, as Reinhard says, we're not idiots on our S days

)

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 11:28 am

Yay! There's more of us walkers! As for the cake... I adore baking. I adore eating what I baked. I have 3 million bookmarks of recipes to try out. It makes me happy, and makes my house feel like home. And the cats loooove napping on the stovetop when something is in the oven. Happy cats = happy owners, duh.
I'm wondering what to do about the evening. We're not the partying types, and New Year's Eve is just regular quiet evening at our place. I'm not planning on cooking anything special, but my husband's prepared movies and snacks for us. He's definitely taking his S-days today and tomorrow. I know I'll be tempted to eat the crisps. Shall I count movies&snacks as an S-event?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:56 pm

Yes! Today is an S Day, no doubt about it.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:09 pm

Auto, so it was

It's rare for me to have any resolutions for a new year. But here they go:
1. Weighing only once a week, on Saturday mornings.
2. Complying with the basic NoS rules for six months, until Jun 1, no mods allowed.
3. Keeping a HabitCal.
4. Updating my thread and reading others' entries at least once a week.
Happy 2019, dear friends!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:19 pm

TUESDAY

Ugh. I'm totally stuffed. We were invited to dinner, and before we went out I'd eaten tons of different snacks and nibbles, just because I could. The worst kind of an S-day for sure. On hindsight, I could've had a smaller portion of the main course. The N-day normalcy is just what I crave for the next few days.
10 000 steps today, including a shortish walk in drizzling rain and two 1-mile workouts. I really didn't feel like exercising today, but I somehow managed to convince myself to just start. Once I started, I wanted to hit x number of steps, and so I continued. Still, it didn't feel as good as usual, I was just too tired. But now I'm proud.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Jan 02, 2019 3:36 pm

Hi Imogen - Great job on the walk in the rain! What do you do with N while you walk? Is she in the stroller/pram or do you leave her with hubby?

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Wed Jan 02, 2019 4:25 pm

Hi Imogen - fantastic that you managed all that exercise, and in the rain too! I really admire that.

Yes, those Quality Street sweets are vintage classics here in the UK! And you can get them all year round. You must ask your friend to get you some...though beware their addictive power! ðŸ˜‚

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Wed Jan 02, 2019 4:37 pm

PS. Iâ€™m also resolving to return to Habitcal this year, too. Iâ€™m now looking back at that phase I had in the summer (where I felt unnerved by my own compliance) and wondering if perhaps there was nothing to be afraid of. Doing something strictly IS a bit weird, certainly for a person like me, but I donâ€™t think I was heading towards a compulsive mental/eating disorder. No S is too moderate for that. Habitcal really works. It simply makes you do No S!...and thatâ€™s what we must do!

Doing something less strictly weakens the bonds of habit. When I stopped Habitcal, I was never as successful again with either compliance or weight loss. So Iâ€™m returning to the safety of strictness, filling in those little squares everyday, and I donâ€™t care if it feels weird!

Good luck with your resolutions and yes, do keep checking in! I will too.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Jan 02, 2019 6:58 pm

WEDNESDAY

Success today with moderate meals and a small latte with just a tiny teaspoon of sugar between breakfast and lunch. Something has given me heartburn, though, so I've just had some milk, too. My colleague is back to work and she brought me a beautifully crafted tin of Russian pralines. I put them in the kitchen, at the back of the highest shelf in the cupboard I open least frequently.
9400 steps today. Our washing machine flooded the bathroom, and the cleanup took an hour, then I was helping P fix the issue. That meant a late bedtime for N and less "me time". I was soooo tempted to skip working out in the evening, using a legitimate excuse that I can't fall asleep if I exercise past 8 PM. Then I reminded myself of a great quote from the Discworld books: Once you had a good excuse, you opened the door to bad excuses. So I did a new 1-mile segment which Walk At Home guys posted on YouTube just a day or two ago. I'm so glad I did! The moves and the music were super fun and immediately boosted my mood and gave me energy for breakfast and lunch meal prep (I rarely eat out and prefer to have homemade food on hand).
Auto, thanks! We either take walks together when possible, or I just offer to run some errands while P and N play. I rarely take a walk just for the sake of walking.
Octavia, I avoided the HabitCal for some time, because every failure, no matter how small and insignificant in the long term, led me straight to the What the Hell Effect. To paraphrase our Dear Leader, you can't make your square any more red, so you think you may as well "enjoy" yourself. I'm still not sure how to overcome the demoralising effect the HabitCal has on me, but I want to trust the process. If you're WTH effect-free, I truly, deeply envy you

To all the lovely people reading my thread, I have a humble request to ask: please point out to me when I mix American and British vocabulary/spelling in my writing. As a non-native speaker of English, I probably don't even notice it much. But if I can get better at grasping the subtleties of different varieties, I don't want to miss the chance!

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:15 am

Wow - our washing machine conked out tonight, too!

Strange coincidence! I donâ€™t think we can fix it ourselves, though. The error code is something to do with a â€˜pressure switchâ€™....

I canâ€™t believe youâ€™re not a native English speaker, Imogen! Your command of the language is amazing! I havenâ€™t noticed you mixing up the American and English spellings, though often our computers do that for us, donâ€™t you find?

I do get WTH...but somehow Habitcal helps me not go wrong in the first place. Once I have had a failure though, I find it hard not to write off the whole day.

DH is swearing at the washing machine. I will get no sleep tonight. Bah!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Jan 03, 2019 6:48 pm

THURSDAY

Bad day overall, but at least diet-wise I succeeded. I wanted to snack my way through the afternoon, but miraculously, I found the strength to resist and just wait for the mealtime.
10 000 hard-earned steps. Another day when I wanted to skip exercise and wallow in misery on the couch. I'm happy I didn't, though. Workouts are funny that way - you never regret doing them, but sometimes showing up for them feels like an unsurmountable task. And when N hears the word "exercise", she starts stomping in place and pointing to the laptop, encouraging me to start

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:42 pm

Sorry to hear you had a bad day. But itâ€™s fantastic that you still made it a green. Go, you!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:53 pm

"insurmountable".

I agree with Octavia - I assumed you were Native Brit living in Poland. Especially with a name like Imogen! But then you would talk about how much family lives near you and I'd wonder if you're actually Polish.

In either case, there's no doubt you have quite the noggin'.

As in, you are smart as a whip.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:26 pm

Auto, thanks for noticing my mistake. And for your gracious compliments, of course! The thing is, I've lost pretty much all contact (except for occassional text messages) with my American and British friends living in my city, and I caught myself making more and more errors in my writing, not to mention my pronunciation is just horrid now. It doesn't matter how many years you've been speaking a foreign language, once you stop using it in face-to-face interactions, it all goes downhill. So feel free to correct me when necessary.
Octavia, thanks for the encouragement. I feel like I should take more pride in my latest NoS accomplishments, but I've been feeling so listless and blah lately that I don't have much energy to spare for celebrating. Wrong phase of the Moon, perhaps

FRIDAY

I somehow managed to keep the day green, which is a real surprise to me. I suspect regular exercise has something to do with my green streak this week.
10 000 steps, all by walking, no formal exercise.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:23 pm

Excessive weekend. I hit my walking target on Saturday. On Sunday I missed some 300 steps to reach my goal. Current weight: 56.9.

MONDAY

I feel like my plates could have been smaller, but as far as the habit goes, all was golden (I mean, green). 10 000 steps, including 1 mile workout. Kinda busy this evening, so here's the quick update, and hopefully I'll have a spare minute to write more and (most importantly) check what the rest of you is doing tomorrow morning. Have a green week!

ladybird30 · Post by **ladybird30** » Tue Jan 08, 2019 2:45 am

You too Imogen.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:17 am

TUESDAY

Failure today. I was ravenous and had seconds right after lunch. But there was a success, too: I didn't let the WTH effect ruin the rest of my day. I accepted that perhaps there was a powerful biological reason for me to overeat in that moment, and kept it green afterwards. In the evening I was briefly contemplating throwing in the towel and gorging on white chocolate, but I told myself "naaah, that wouldn't be enjoyable at all", and I put the chocolate back in the cupboard.
10 000 steps today. I've been pretty consistent with that goal. Walking and light cardio are such productivity boosters!

Soprano · Post by **Soprano** » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:17 pm

Sounds like you are really getting this, well done

Jx

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:22 pm

WEDNESDAY

Another failure - seconds at dinner. The weather is just awful, it seems as if we haven't seen any sun in two months. I've come down with a nasty little cold, which is only slightly uncomfortable physically, but makes me sooo miserable anyway. This combined with TOTM is a recipe for disaster. I'm taking things easy, though. I can't reasonably expect any weight loss or perhaps even maintenance this week. I'm focusing on the habit, not stats.
After several vanilla weeks I sometimes find myself feeling too full after meals. 5 or 6 hours pass, and I'm not even slightly hungry, which is a sure signal I'm overeating a little bit - not enough to gain weight in a noticeable way, perhaps, but stay in the maintenance zone forever. I miss having healthy appetite for a meal, so I'm thinking of reducing my portions in some way, maybe by removing some of the calorie-dense stuff and replacing it with extra vegetables and/or fruit. I'm still mulling over it.
10 000 steps.
On the plus side, N is happy and comfortable in the daycare at last. What a relief!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:50 pm

Hi, Imogen, haven't visited in awhile. Finding the sweet spot on amounts at meals has been my quest for quite awhile. It used to be so obvious. My true hunger has declined so much, but not my desire for food!

I'm glad to see you will try to work this out on Vanilla for several months. Only then can you know if you need something different.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:01 pm

Glad to hear N is settled at last!

The tweaking of the total amount/composition of the meal can be kind of fun, sometimes.

It's like a little experiment.

What is TOTM?

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:43 pm

Time Of The Month. When we are not really in charge of our weight, if we ever completely are.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:29 pm

Iâ€™m also finding that Iâ€™m not so hungry at the moment. But for me, this is very novel, as the usual thing is for me to feel hungry very soon after a meal - not true hunger of course, though it is a physical feeling - maybe some kind of insulin spike when my body expects a snack to come. Itâ€™s so hard to find that sweet spot where one is eating just enough to feel reasonably satisfied and maintain a slim physique. Iâ€™m certainly not there yet....still focussing on habit-building. Itâ€™s a slow game, but Iâ€™m sticking at it, thanks to the support of the forum, and especially the insights from veteran members!

Great to hear that little N has settled into daycare!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:41 pm

THURSDAY, FRIDAY

Weekly weigh-in: 56.7, so modest loss.
Lots of permasnacking this weekend. We're all fighting some nasty cold. I can't taste my food right now, and in consequence eat a lot of different bits and nibbles in the hope that something will wake up my sense of smell and let me enjoy eating again.
MONDAY

Minor failure - I finished N's vanilla pudding in the evening. Still no sense of taste or smell. It feels as if I was eating cardboard all the time.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:45 pm

Oh, sounds like you've been under the weather for several days now. Sorry Imogen.

I hope you have a good restful sleep and feel better soon.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Jan 15, 2019 1:20 pm

Thanks! I'm feeling a bit better now, but still can't exercise, it makes me dizzy.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Tue Jan 15, 2019 6:01 pm

Get well soon, Imogen!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:34 pm

Thanks for all the good wishes. It seems like I'm improving, but I've booked an appointment with my GP to make sure everything really is okay. The dizziness and short breath don't seem normal to me if it comes to a garden-variety cold. N and P are fine, though, recovering at the speed of light. I can't keep up with them, too much energy

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

I regained my sense of smell, and P brought me some oreo cheesecake from our local bakery to celebrate that fact. I just couldn't resist... He declared today to be a sick-day, but did so retroactively, so that's cheating in my book. But as I said, I didn't even try to fight the urge to eat. Le sigh.
This week has been full of undereating, overeating, just not "just right" eating. Not being able to move as much as I used to is a real bummer, too. Still, I have two more days to repair the damage and stay strict and focused. Onwards!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Jan 17, 2019 7:24 am

Here's to green Thursday and Friday. You KNOW you'll be glad if you get them.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:32 pm

Hope the rest of the week went well, Imogen, and youâ€™re continuing to recover!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 6:30 pm

Back to square one. Thanks, sinusitis. I don't want to share too many gross details, but that was, hands down, among top three most horrible and painful illnesses I've ever had the misfortune to contract. N quickly recovered after her garden-variety cold, but I've been stuck in bed for the last two weeks. I only slept, listened to audiobooks, and ate, my eyeballs hurt too much to read or browse the Web. Oh man. I certainly didn't care about NoS for that time, I just wanted that blasted thing to go.
Weight-wise, I'm still at 57, perhaps 57.5 kg. It's a miracle I maintained! However, I expect a lot of rebound eating this weekend, because (drumroll, please) I got back my sense of smell and taste. I'm so furious at... life? for throwing me various curve balls just when I begin to build the NoS habit. Sigh.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:32 am

omg it sounds horrible! Not even able to read!? I would lose my mind, although luckily I have developed a recent habit for podcasts (my current favorite is Peter Attia's The Drive).

Your recovery is just in time for S Days. Then you'll be all ready for Monday!!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:34 am

Omg, Im so sorry to hear about your illness. It sounds awful. Glad youâ€™re finally feeling a bit better. Donâ€™t worry about NoS. Youll get back on track in no time.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:03 am

Ugh, somehow pain near the brain seems harder to take. Glad the worst is over.

Just do your best with moderation. Maybe having a heightened sense of taste and smell can allow you to really savor what you have and eat less? I guess I'm being a Pollyanna. Do people still know what that means?

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:51 pm

Thank you all! I was so miserable for the past weeks, you have no idea. I felt like I should care about NoS, make some effort to at least have three meals a day instead of grazing all the time. And I knew that I snacked so much because eating was the only pleasure I had. My mum kept bringing me all kinds of homemade goodies, and I was powerless to resist them. I regret it so very much, but then, I try to be gentler with myself and grateful that it only lasted for two weeks, and no damage has been done as far as the number on the scale is concerned. Still... crushing disappointment. I dunno why, but even though I know sick days are canonical, I have a really hard time with them, and constantly beat myself up when I give in due to illness or PMS.
I took my first walk today and got dizzy halfway through. I've been told I might have that problem for several more weeks due to improper (is that a correct adjective here?) distribution of pressure in the skull. Sounds like fun. I can exercise, though, but gently, and preferably when there are people around. Ugh.
SATURDAY

Not so bad in terms of quantity, at least compared to my usual S-day madness. I had one extra large meal, normal breakfast and dinner, plus a pot of vanilla cream cheese, small slice of blueberry yogurt cake, and a puff pastry somewhere between meals. Nothing to write home about, to be honest.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Feb 03, 2019 8:29 pm

Here's wishing you steady improvement with your symptoms in this upcoming week.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 7:23 am

Awww, thanks!
SUNDAY

I had too much cake and chocolate, but honestly, I used to have much wilder S-days under my belt. Still feeling weak and unmotivated. Tomorrow's my first day in the office in three weeks and I can feel anxiety already kicking in. Sunday evenings are absolutely the worst.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:20 pm

Sunday evenings are the worst for me, too. In fact, that's why I allow Sunday as one of my alcohol days.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:08 pm

Hope you’re continuing to get better, Imogen.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Mar 13, 2019 1:23 pm

This past month has been a real health rollercoaster for my family. My mum had a surgery which thankfully went well, but she's been immobilised for a longer period of time. N is almost constantly sick and shares her bugs with me on a regular basis. The funny things is, while she's relatively okay besides the typical runny nose/cough, I always end up really ill, with fever, sinusitis, and other stuff. It seems to me that I've been feeling unwell since December. Next week I have an appointment with a laryngologist. It's not normal being so sick all the time. Might also get my thyroid checked. And when I'm not "actively" sick, I just feel exhausted.
I'm wondering how much of my crappy health is due to a crappy diet. Significantly less fruit and veg, loads of sugar, snacking (duh!), because of course I haven't paid much attention to maintaining good eating habits. I only counted calories on and off to create the illusion of accountability. But since all that counts is - nomen omen - numbers, quality suffers. When I know I have only three meals per day, I actually think about their optimal composition, so that I don't end up starving and binging before next mealtime comes. But grazing just leads to more grazing. Still, the appeal of calorie counting is strong, even if it doesn't lead me anywhere in the long run.
The main problem I have with vanilla NoS is S-days. I'm short and my calorie needs are quite modest, so I often erase any progress I've made during the week on Saturdays and Sundays. I just can't eat anything I want in any quantity, and not gain weight little by little over a longer period of time. When I was committed to vanilla NoS for several years, I weighed 125 pounds, just as today. It was okay, I suppose, but I still felt squishy and wobbly. 10 pounds less would be ideal. But at what price? And would that be sustainable?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:28 pm

10 pounds less would be ideal. But at what price? And would that be sustainable?

Excellent question that always is worth pondering before we make changes.
I suppose finding what we are willing to sustain indefinitely is our best plan and then just learning to accept the weight that follows. For me, that is really just one "S" on a weekend, although even within that framework we can have the occasional wild day. That seems long-term sustainable to me.

Re: getting sick. I have not been ill since I started eating 2 cups of yogurt every day - I think that was last September. Mayhap a coincidence, but cool if it's actually making a difference in my immune health.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:51 am

Thanks for the tip, Auto! I've been actually wondering about probiotics/prebiotics. N takes beta-glucans every morning, and we did notice that the severity of her infections reduced. Since I'm not a fan of overly sugary products, I'll try to add a pot of plain yogurt with fresh fruit to my breakfast. Have you ever tried skyr, the Icelandic variety? It's super thick and packed with protein. I need to get my fridge stocked!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:34 pm

I’m just popping by to say hi.

I hope you’re feeling a little better today.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:29 pm

Hi from me, too. Hope you’re feeling better. Here in the UK, there have been many viruses around which have given people recurring symptoms like yours for many weeks, months even. I’ve heard people talking about a sort of mild flu - aches, fatigue, that sort of thing. I’ve had a recurring sinus problem, sometimes with a cold, sometimes by itself, for months - and my DH has also been very tired and unwell, DD too. So I wonder if you’ve been suffering from something similar? I hope you feel better soon.

I certainly find that the three-meals system makes me focus more on nutrition. It’s not even a conscious thing - perhaps I just put a little more effort into the meals when I sense I’ll be really hungry for them and really enjoy them. When I’m grazing, quality goes out of the window - again, it seems to happen like that automatically.

Must try Icelandic skyr! Sounds good.

Take care and have a good weekend!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Mar 18, 2019 3:54 am

Yes! I have tried Skyr! I am sort of obsessed with yogurts.
My favorites are Zoi, Siggis, Grace Harbor (local) and Alexandre (local)

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Mar 19, 2019 7:31 am

Just a quick note before I forget. I've been reading Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography this week. And although I do admire him for his accomplishments, determination, and hard work, I cannot help but think he's the perfect illustration of the psychological truth that willpower is a finite resource. If you exert too much of it in one area, other ones will suffer. You just can't have it all, even if you're Terminator

No to say that Arnie is a failure, of course, because he couldn't keep it all together, but he's definitely just like the rest of us - flawed, with limited resources. Probably not the most common take away from the book, which only proves how much NoS influences my view on people and psychology in general.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Tue Mar 19, 2019 9:50 am

B: 2x tuna salad on whole wheat, vanilla skyr with strawberries
L: 3 small slices of homemade feta/zucchini quiche, orange
D: chili con carne on barley

I think I'll go back to weighing once a week, on Friday morning. I'd also like to plan my three or four S-events a week instead of eating my way through the weekend, and keeping my three meals a day at around 1500 calories. This is what worked wonderfully in the past. I hope I can retrain my habits once again, but know I have to be comically strict about it.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:26 pm

Neat about translating your NoS principles to your understanding of another human's limits for willpower.
I notice I am VERY careful about what I want to commit to because it's sort of like trying to add one final card to a tower - and then the whole thing can collapse and I go off the rails in all areas. We can only juggle so many balls at once, yes? We have to pick our favorite ones and let the rest stay on the ground, looking all cute and tempting us to try and add them to our repertoire.

BTW, I guess I plan my weekend S events. I don't spread them throughout the week (I do that with alcohol though, haha), but I do plan my dessert for Sat and Sun night. Well, it's always the same thing, actually - the one dessert that seems to make me feel better after I've had it rather than worse.

I still often end up having a little junk in addition to the planned dessert, but generally not anything too crazy. That said, it's those little pieces of candy, etc., that I feel guilty about - never the delicious planned dessert.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:14 pm

I have to/want to be honest. I had some unplanned food yesterday. Not a binge, perhaps, but I didn't stick to my eating plan for the day. I need to often remind myself that moderate eating is a habit like everything else and requires a lot of practice, making the same choice over and over again, even if I don't feel like it.

Octavia · Post by **Octavia** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 10:12 am

...same thing happened to me, yesterday...but as long as it didn’t lead to WTH, you’re still ahead of the game.

I love Auto’s metaphor, about the house of cards. We do have to be so careful about adding another card to the tower, another thing to concentrate on. Sounds like you learnt a lot from the Schwarzenegger book, Imogen. I’m finding that although I have established some good habits over the last couple of years - doing No S, drinking more water and doing a bit more exercise - they still seem to require lots of willpower. So they’re vulnerable to caving in when bandwidth is limited. It’s good to know that even the highest achievers are built the same way!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Mar 21, 2019 8:16 pm

Thanks for encouragement. I didn't give myself enough credit for not giving in to the WTH effect, but on hindsight, that's was really impressive, given my dieting/borderline BED history. There's huge difference between unplanned food and a binge.
Auto, I tried planning my S-days in the past, and it always backfired. The scarcity mindset kicked in every single time. I'm glad you're immune to it, though.
I compare myself to the former Imogen, the one who was slimmest ever in her adult life, with amazing willpower and rock solid habits. I want to get that Imogen back. But can I? The Imogen who wrote the testimonial was in a long-distance relationship, childless, with few regular obligations...
On a decisively positive note, the last two days were a success. I sticked to three meals and my calorie limit, without feeling unpleasantly hungry. I have a secret stash of sweets waiting for me to dig in, but my sinus problems are reappearing and I've lost my sense of smell again. It makes no sense to eat for pleasure at that point, so the sweets are temporarily off-limits.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:54 am

The Imogen who wrote the testimonial was in a long-distance relationship, childless, with few regular obligations...

You will find your balance again with food habits. It just takes time. When my kids were little, my eating and self-care were entirely absent. But once my boys got big enough (in my case, when my youngest turned about eight) that I have been able to do some self-care, the balance is returning. And the focus is on health and feeling good. One good thing about food choices in my 40's is that I pretty quickly feel the effects (both good and bad) of my food choices. In my 30's, when I really gained weight, I could eat crap and feel great the next day.

No longer - which actually helps with compliance. You are probably still young enough you don't feel sick after eating Doritos....yep, I had some tonight and I get to have cramps now.

And a tiny vent - I think I have some resentment/bitterness that I never had easy childcare or family or even friends to help give me respite when my kids were little. I am certain that women with more support are also able to do more self-care, which includes menu planning and better food choices, not to mention more sleep, less stress, and maybe even time to exercise.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 12:39 pm

Auto, don't make we wait until N is 8 years old!

I'm terribly impatient, I can't handle 6 more years of binge/restrict rollercoaster...
But seriously, I feel like I'm the one to blame - not circumstances, not motherhood etc. N has been a fantastic sleeper right from the beginning, so I had plenty of time on my hands until I got back to work. When N is healthy and attends daycare, our family routine leaves me 4+ hours a day to use however I please. My husband and I split childcare nearly 50/50, day in, day out. It's not always possible, of course, because when N falls sick, I'm the primary caretaker. In Poland, an employed parent staying home with an ill child gets 80% of his/her salary for the time off work. Since P earns twice as much as I do, it makes more sense if I apply for this benefit - then we don't lose as much of our monthly income. And because I work in academic environment, everybody is more relaxed and nobody complains about my constant absences. P, on the other hand, works in a conservative, very profit-oriented company. Anyway, getting back to my original point, I do have time. I just waste it. Or I want to make different, easier choices. The problem may be both motivation and discipline. I need the former to build momentum, and the latter to keep going. I know that, intelectually, but nothing changes. Or I go in fits and starts, and then just stop.
My weekly weigh-in made me hopeful, though: 56.1 after three days off unlimited sweets and snacks. I ate three meals a day, 500 calories each. I'll introduce planned treats, about three to four a week, when my sinus congestion clears up. So maybe there's a way out. But I can't give myself choices. The moment I start thinking about bending rules, the inevitable happens. Every excuse leads to a binge. So no excuses at all.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:39 pm

Bravo on not devolving into WTH!

I think it's a boon that you are willing to see your part in this, while at the same time hold compassion. I gently suggest you do anything you can to "codify" your meals in building blocks and keep the blocks around for easier meal assembly. You know you are going to need starches, proteins, freggies, some good fats, right? Do your best to have them on hand and have them to look forward to at the next meal.

Channel that inner slim-culture woman, the one who is mystified at the idea of eating her children's food, popping leftovers while cleaning up, eating something because she's stressed and deserves it, etc. (Not that THESE are any of your habits....) "Mais non! I have X to look forward to savoring at my next meal. " Or whatever seems to inspire.

At the same time, I hear ya re: life changes. Changes in my appetite and work schedule has derailed me in terms of having a set, workable routine for much longer than I'm comfortable with, though I didn't gain back much weight. That's why I said the thing about compassion.

I'm a broken record on the topic of motivation and how most of it has to come from recognizing how you want to live and feel more than what you want to weigh. What is pleasant and unpleasant about how you live with food now? What could the payoffs be for holding out at tough times against the eating urges? If they aren't great enough at the moment, back off a bit and tread water.

Repeated unlimited sweets and snacks was never the intent of S days... I am the first to admit that finding the balance between wild and nothing can be elusive.

You are on the right track and we are on your side!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:45 am

Thanks for your kind words, Oolala. I do feel better now, and I'm happy to report some success following my mod. I drill myself in "don't do anything and just wait", and do whatever it takes to stick to my self-imposed rules (three meals, 500 calories each, a day, four 300-calorie desserts on Wed, Fri, Sat, Sun evening, zero snacking, weekly weigh-in). This also includes throwing away tempting foods. Right now I'm struggling with a terrible craving for some specific treat. It's super hard today, but I'll just do nothing and wait. And remind myself of that pre-pregnancy dress I'm secretly hoping to wear again this summer.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Apr 11, 2025 6:20 pm

Guys, guys, guys. I can't believe that the forum is still up, and some people are still posting here. Woohoo!

Six years have passed from my last post. Six EVENTFUL years: divorce, single motherhood, now building a blended family. Food sanity was most decidedly not a feature of those years, but I managed to lose weight, first by extreme stress, then by counting calories religiously (which did NOT stop me from bingeing). Now emotional eating is taking its toll on me and I see and feel my weight creeping up steadily.

I'm craving simplicity and freedom from substance accounting diets more than I'm craving my daily chocolate... and my daily handful of nuts... and my daily extra snack... do you get what I'm saying?

I will always be grateful that I stumbled upon this forum all those many years ago, and got to experience the camaraderie, support, and wisdom of its users and Reinhard. I'm looking forward to having accountability and to making new friends here... and hopefully meeting the old ones too! Today was my first official day back on NoS, and it was

Soprano · Post by **Soprano** » Sat Apr 12, 2025 5:32 am

Hi

Great you have come back.

Good luck on your new No s journey

Jx

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Sat Apr 12, 2025 5:36 am

Welcome back!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sun Apr 13, 2025 1:14 pm

Amy, Soprano, thanks for stopping by.

I am actually having a sane weekend. I'm trying to be mindful and avoid eating food just because it's there, or because I am allowed to have snacks, sweets, and seconds. I haven't had any dessert yet (it's Sunday afternoon here in Poland), and all the food I've eaten was delicious but perfectly acceptable also on an S-day. When I eat something I don't really want, it always ends up in a binge, because I keep searching for the satisfaction. And without a genuine craving, there's no satisfaction for me.

As far as snacking goes, I am open to social snacking, but so far nothing sounded good. My partner and his kids made popcorn when we were having a movie night yesterday, but I don't like it, so it was easy to skip. I also attended an embroidery workshop on Saturday and the organizers provided snacks, but I was so engrossed in my project that I didn't even notice them. Went for a Thai lunch afterwards, when I was really hungry for a real meal.

My partner and I are going out tonight, but we don't have a plan on where to go or even if there's gonna be any food involved. Regardless, gonna be a fun end to my weekend.

Melderin · Post by **Melderin** » Mon Apr 14, 2025 11:27 am

Hi Imogen,

Just wanted to stop by and add my encouragement - this forum is a great place to be, so supportive!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Apr 14, 2025 5:41 pm

Hi, Melderin! Yeah, the forum was instrumental in keeping me on track for years. The accountability, the kindness, the shared experience... such a beautiful corner of the Internet!

Yesterday I did end up having half a Neapolitan-style pizza and half a glass of Aperol Spritz (non-alcoholic). We also went for ice cream, because that's my partner's favorite dessert (he's American, if that explains anything in the matter

). I had one scoop of lemon babka flavor. So good! So yeah, I did eat because food was there, but it was intentional - I wanted to try this new flavor.

My diethead has already started rearing its ugly head. "Oh, what if you have desserts on weekdays only when it's intentional? That wouldn't do much harm in terms of calories, would it?". Hard NO. We're not counting calories, we're creating a habit.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Apr 18, 2025 11:29 am

Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs all

First fail happened today - I woke up extra early to see off my partner, who was going on a business trip, and needed an extra meal mid-day. Marking and moving on. I want to keep the rest of the day normal, so I'm gonna eat dinner at the usual time, no compensating.

3 Easter S-days ahead of me, but I don't have many food plans - I'll bake babka, and on Easter Monday we're going on a daytrip to the mountains, where we'll certainly be eating out at least once. I will partake in social snacking, if it happens and something sounds good. Otherwise, keeping to the three meals a day structure feels best.

Melderin · Post by **Melderin** » Tue Apr 22, 2025 12:39 pm

Sounds like you’re doing great. I’m starting to realise also that the old diet mentality of giving up after one failure is not necessary. Intentionally having a red day is fine so long as you catch yourself and get back to green! Well done x

Ellis · Post by **Ellis** » Wed Apr 23, 2025 7:19 pm

Just sending some good vibes your way!

It’s nice to see more activity around here! Just keep tracking!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Thu Apr 24, 2025 8:45 am

Imogen!!!! OMG I nearly dropped my coffee when I saw you have posted!!!!! *cue happy dance*

Girl, what a beautiful blast from the past. I don’t even do No S like at all these days, but once in a great while I check in on the forums. I try unsuccessfully to do it, but my will is just not there anymore.

Im so sorry to hear you’ve been through the wringer with some personal stuff, but definitely sounds like you’ve made it on the other side with a fantastic life.

I often think I desperately need good habits, something solid to show my kids, but in the absolute chaos of my life it feels impossible. Of course a bunch of guilt comes with that. Maybe I’ll give it another go in some capacity - I literally am all over the place - no real plans just winging it day to day, trying to calorie count and listen to hunger blah blah blah. Stuck at a solid ten pounds or more from where I want to be.

Looking forward to seeing you more.
Hugs,
Sinnie

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu Apr 24, 2025 7:32 pm

Melderin, the "I missed a step so I may as well throw myself down the stairs" mentality is SO STRONG. It's so incredibly hard to not perceive one failure as an absolute, all-encompassing failure that erases all your previous efforts. But I believe we can unlearn that, with enough practice and dedication.

Ellis, thanks so much for visiting. Good luck to you too!

Sinnie, my old friend! <3 I'm ECSTATIC to see you here! I remember identifying with almost everything you were writing, my sister from another mister

Maybe I will inspire you to be more active on the NoS front? But even if not, I will greatly enjoy and appreciate you checking in on me.

I weighed this morning, and am disappointed. After 3 Easter days I am back at my starting weight, so back to square one. I wasn't going crazy with food, just enjoyed a couple of extras (a couple of soft drinks, a meal out, social snacking maybe three times over three days). This is discouraging. Gonna mope in the corner

I want the habits reestablished, yes, but I also want to lose the weight that has been creeping up on me for about a year. Do I have to count calories again to do it? Ugh.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Sun Apr 27, 2025 3:23 pm

Yes you’ve totally inspired me to give it another go!
I am just dabbling in it right now, need to find my footing. Yesterday went well though, so that’s better than my usual

I’ll start my checkin again soon.

How is your weekend going? Do you do any mods?

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Mon Apr 28, 2025 6:36 am

The weekend was super busy - coffee date with a friend, actual date with my partner, catching up on chores and movies, doing a terrace makeover - so that helped me not focus on food too much. Over the course of two days I finished a packet of my favorite lemon curd cookies, and that was all extra food I had. I weighed myself both on Saturday and Sunday, and noticed a downward trend.

I am struggling with coming to terms with the fact that I am a small person with a big appetite, and eating hefty meals, even within N-day parameters, is not what my body needs. As far as mods go, the only unorthodox thing I did this weekend was making sure I didn't eat like an idiot, which meant setting an upper calorie limit. I didn't reach it, though, because food just wasn't that much on my radar and I didn't have any particular cravings.

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Tue Apr 29, 2025 5:14 am

It's all about finding that sweet spot where you eat enough to satisfy your appetite, but not so much that it's more than your body needs. And if you're small it's so easy to go over that, isn't it? But it sounds like being busy this weekend really helped you!

Melderin · Post by **Melderin** » Tue Apr 29, 2025 8:21 am

Hi Imogen,

I can totally sympathise with the small person/large appetite problem! I've always said I'm under-tall, not overweight

Be gentle with yourself and you can hopefully just incrementally reduce over time...that's my plan anyway. Keep up the good work!

M x

pinkhippie · Post by **pinkhippie** » Tue May 06, 2025 8:26 pm

Hi Imogen!

Welcome back! It looks like we joined around the same time! I have been around off and on over the years ever since. I also resort to calorie counting or IF and it works but I can't maintain it over time, so I always come back to No S. Usually with a little bit of IF thrown in.

Anyway, love your analogy of missing a step and throwing yourself down the stairs. That made me genuinely laugh out loud. Glad to see you back!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Wed May 07, 2025 7:29 am

Amy, Melderin, Pinkhippie, thanks for your kind words.

I'm struggling to accept that while substance accounting diet plans absolutely DO work, maintaining that level of focus and effort for an extended period of time is just too hard for me right now. My lifestyle just isn't the same as it used to be. In my case, vanilla NoS may not be enough to lose the 2 kilos I've gained in the past 6 months, but it may stop me from ballooning up. And that could and probably should be good enough. But diet mentality is strong in this one, and "good enough" is a concept that's been hard to grasp.

I've fallen off the wagon for the past 2 days. I'm terrible at coping with hunger, physical or mental, and I find all kinds of excuses to sneak in an extra meal or snack. Oh, my breakfast didn't have enough protein, I need to eat to keep my cravings at bay. Oh, I counted my calories, so it's not a big deal. You get the spiel

I guess counting calories trips me up because it creates this illusion that I'm "safe" for as long as I'm tallying them up. It doesn't matter if I overeat if I count my calories and jot them down, heh. I will undereat tomorrow, right? Right?! Nah, I almost never do. In the end, it's the deficit that matters, and reaching adequate deficit without living with constant food noise and vigilance is next to impossible. NoS can help me create this (very gentle) deficit while still allowing me to live and not overfocus on food planning between meals, but it's gonna be slow. And it sucks.

Getting up and dusting off. Will use my HabitCal starting today. I also decided I'm not gonna be monitoring my food choices. For example, I'm a sucker for breakfast pastries, which here in Poland are not sugary enough to be counted as dessert. I've avoided them (they still have sugar, they're empty calories, they won't fill me up til my next meal, etc.), but sometimes the craving is really strong, and resentment makes me binge later in the day. I remember those pastries helped me a lot in the past when I was beginning my NoS journey. They were something decadent I was looking forward to, and allowed me to stay on track, because I was able to eat delicious food and still lose weight.

Hump day!

pinkhippie · Post by **pinkhippie** » Wed May 07, 2025 3:00 pm

It sounds like the no s way of piling your plate as high as you can get it when you first start out might be beneficial for you?

Especially with calorie counting, I think we tend to undereat/underestimate our caloric needs. I know that when we struggle with adding an extra meal or snack, it's usually because we are hungry, and it's hard to set up a habit when we are hungry. For me, I need to be well satisfied and full to be able to resist snacking or seconds, especially when setting up a new habit. I know it's not conducive to weight loss, but No S is all about establishing the habit, then tweaking once it's set. ( I should really take my own advice here...

)

Anyway, I can relate! Those pastries sound intriguing! Not super sugary? As an American, I can't even imagine a pastry like that. It sounds good!

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Thu May 08, 2025 5:55 am

It's so hard to get off the diet roller coaster...I totally understand your struggle, I think so many of us here have been there, many times. It's worth focusing on building the habits, even if it takes you temporarily off course for your weight goals...but this is a frightening thing to do. I think that is why we so often look for a middle way, where we try to keep a lid on our intake somehow. But that then negates the positive aspects of No-S...

I feel like the journey has to lead you to a place where you find a personalized system that works for you, most of the time, given your lifestyle and food preferences. Keep at it, Imogen!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu May 08, 2025 7:51 am

Pinkhippie, I do agree that establishing NoS habits is easier when we're not hungry, however, I am against vertical stacking. I prefer my food to be one layer, but if necessary, I'm gonna cover every square inch of the plate with it

Regarding the pastries, I totally understand why it's hard to imagine what they taste like. My partner is American, and whenever he visits his hometown in Colorado, he sends me pics of humongous restaurant portions and oversized drinks, and complains about his upset stomach and sugar coma. But I do envy you the availability of different world cuisines (I am aware, though, that it varies from place to place). We live in a very cosmopolitan Polish city, but we don't have a single Tex-Mex restaurant here, which pains J. so much

He has to go back to the US to get his fill. When we're craving some unique ethnic food, we go to London.

Amy, you are so right about building habits. They should take priority over short-term goals, like an arbitrary number on the scale. But we're all here to see results, right? Premature optimization is the root of all evil, but it's sooo frustrating when your weight loss is slow! Having said that, I am mad at myself for changing my mind about vanilla NoS vs mods constantly, and I told myself this morning, I gotta stick to vanilla NoS for 30 days first.

I had my monthly therapy session yesterday, and we did talk a lot about diet mentality and calorie counting, evaluating whether I should drop it. My current (BUSY!) lifestyle and loss of control over my food environment at home are not conducive with counting, planning, measuring, weighing, logging. One of the things I realized was that food is one of my main sources of pleasure in life. If I'm forcing myself to eat what I don't really want (multiple reasons here: it's there, it needs to be eaten before it expires, it "makes sense" to eat it, stockpiling, etc.), I inevitably binge. I need satisfaction from food, every day, to feel like my psychological hunger has been satisfied. And I also need variety. I can eat the same dish two times, but not more. Still processing those revelations, hoping they will help me troubleshoot NoS in the future.

Ellis · Post by **Ellis** » Fri May 09, 2025 12:36 pm

Are you me?

I recognize so much of what you're writing. Always looking for "loopholes" in every diet, needing meals to be enjoyable or else you end up bingeing. And having a big appetite... sigh, it's so frustrating. I'm not particularly short, but my boyfriend is tall and I can easily eat just as much as him—maybe even more.

I also struggle with how slow the results are with No-S, so I totally get where you're coming from! But... Hopefully No-S helps quiet the food noise! I'm really curious what kind of pastries they are—I'm Dutch myself and we also have (way too many) delicious pastries!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Sat May 10, 2025 12:53 pm

Ellis, NoS is definitely great in terms of eliminating food noise. It allows me to focus on something else than dieting and watching my food intake seemingly every minute of every day. If a coworker brings cookies, I don't even notice them, because I'm not having sweets on weekdays, period. Otherwise I'd have spent my whole workday debating whether to have a cookie and how many, and how that would affect my food plan and calorie budget for the rest of the day. So exhausting.

Typical Polish breakfast/snack pastries are not that sweet, at least those that I like the most. They're usually yeast buns with some sort of filling, similar to Swedish kanelbullar. I love buns with curd cheese (Polish curd cheese is the reason I told J. I am not moving out of the country ever

- it has a unique taste and texture, totally unlike cottage cheese or cream cheese or quark) or pudding. Poppyseed filling or fruit and streusel topping is also popular here. They come in a range of shapes and sizes, and are pretty cheap while being time-consuming to bake at home, so bakeries usually sell out all of them by noon. These days I buy a yeast bun for breakfast at least once a week. They go wonderfully with coffee. The sweetness comes from the filling, but the dough has only a little sugar (just enough to allow the dough to rise before baking - typically only 50 g per batch of dough), so that's a really nice balance.

Last week stats: 3 green days, 2 reds (one of them was a full-blown snacky failure, the other was marked red because I shared ice cream with my daughter on our walk - but did not give in to the WTH effect, woohoo!). Saturday weigh-in: 52 kg. Began my Saturday with some cake that I bought because I was allowed to have sweets, and quite predictably, binge urges hit. The cake was completely unsatisfying and made me want to not only eat more of it in the hope that with my 50th bite there may be some pleasure involved, but also eat snacks in general, and I don't like snacking.

Things I realized last week: I don't care for ice cream much, besides Magnum bars

, and I prefer to have seconds or an extra meal or fancy coffee with toppings on S-days, rather than to snack or force myself to find some sweets to eat.

pinkhippie · Post by **pinkhippie** » Sun May 11, 2025 11:41 pm

Thank you for explaining the pastries! I live in Tex Mex country here where I am. Its funny that you mention Colorado though because I always think of Colorado as being so much more healthy than most of the states! I am in Arkansas and have spent a lot of time in Texas. Humongous portions are definitely the order of the day! I know what you mean about not wanting to vertical stack. Thats great you are able to work through some food stuff in therapy! Sounds like you have had some good realizations so far.

Amy3010 · Post by **Amy3010** » Mon May 12, 2025 6:15 am

My mom is in Texas and we love eating Tex-Mex when we visit - but yes, the portions are huge. This weekend in Paris, we really noticed how reasonable the portions were at the restaurants...and we also noticed that most people are slim. Of course, with all the walking people do there, as well...

Here in Belgium, where restaurants serve bigger portions and the past 30 years snack culture has become more and more the norm, I notice heavier people than when I first came here, including young people. With the bakeries selling out of their pastries every day, what is it like in Poland?