Linda's daily check-in

[Jen1974]

Your dogs look so cute in the stroller

Love that realization about “you can’t make people like you” me too lately on that!! Me & my daughter were talking about a friend of hers that is really shy. She’s so scared to say the wrong thing that she says nothing at all. My daughter said she really can’t be friends with her because there’s nothing there!! We were saying how she can maybe keep people from disliking her by never saying the wrong thing but she never finds anyone to actually like her because you can’t get to know someone like that. I’d rather have a few people really like the real me & accept that some won’t, than have no one dislike me, but also no one really like me either!!

[lpearlmom]

It’s so true Jen! I remember reading about how to be a good conversationalist and it was saying that you should just say the first thing that comes to your mind without trying to filter everything. At first glance that seems like bad advice but when i think about ppl i enjoy talking to, there is usually a kind of openness about them. My mom often says whatever on her mind and sometimes she says some kooky things but most about everyone she meets likes her instantly. I think her willingness to put herself out there, imperfections and all, allows other to do the same.

My emotions are just all over the place today. I think it’s really starting to hit me that my girls are growing up. Im not ready for them to leave. Rosebud and i used to be so close. She used to always be by my side, laughing and being silly with me. Now she seems annoyed with me half the time and mostly hangs out in her room. I know this is normal but i miss my little girl. Hopefully we will be close again when shes a but older. Sweetpea & I haven’t gotten much closer this year. She pretty much fought with me for two years straight prior to that so i guess things will get better with rosebud too.

We finally got our boat today which is exciting but also feels like a big unknown. We are going to have to learn a lot of new skills. Hopefully we will all enjoy it. Doc gets so obsessed with whatever his current interest is so now all his energy is being focused on the boat. He wants to get into wake boarding and has been working out everyday to try to get in shape for it. He’s already dropped like 5 or 6 lbs.

Im also having an intense urge to declutter the house. If i had it my way, everything would be put in it’s place all the time but it’s not possible when you live with other ppl. I feel like im constantly fighting against the tide. Oh well.

My eating has been fine but I haven’t been exercising as much. It’s fine though. I tend to go through phases. I had this idea that during the day i would only eat zero point foods which is kind of weird since ive never done or wanted to do weight watchers. But i figure this way i could just kind of eat freely without stressing. It was pretty nice. It definitely filled me up without being too heavy.

Breakfast: scrambled eggs with black beans, spinach and salsa, fruit
Lunch: plain popcorn, nf yogurt with fruit
Dinner: shrimp curry
Dessert: couple cookies

Exercise. Walked dogs, 20 min hike on treadmill

[lpearlmom]

Today went okay but i felt really nauseous and had to sleep for most of the morning. I was craving crackers to settle my stomach and think I definitely went over my 500 cals today. Maybe 700-800? Which is fine but i need to weigh in for the week tomorrow and hoping im down some.

Our goal for the team weight loss challenge was supposed to be 10% but I definitely don’t think ill make that. Im only at about 7% and the challenge ends on Tuesday. Ill just be glad when it’s over so i don’t have to feel like im letting other ppl down. The main thing is im on track to meet my individual goal for next year. Im definitely going to make that.

Sweetpea is doing so much better. She had an appointment with her college counselor today, she drove herself to her dr appointment and was actually on time and took time to look put together. We got her a new psychiatrist because she really clashed with her other one (he’s kind of an a$$ to be honest). Well, she came back gushing about her new one. Im so happy because this means she’s more likely to follow her advice. She did get a new diagnosis though—borderline personality disorder. Honestly it does ring more true to me because I didn’t really see distinct mania periods. Who knows but either way, i think she’s on a good path. Of course i feel guilty for not handling things better when she was younger. But all i can do is move forward and help her now.

Well Az has pretty much completely opened up at this point. It worries me but i am also excited about just doing things again. I signed up for Pilates class and ill start going one week or so after my 2nd vaccine. Im really looking forward to it. We also have a fundraiser dinner coming up. It’s outside though so should be safe anyway. And then at the end of the month we go to San Diego. Woot! Definitely more appreciative of simple activities now.

Fast day: wheat thins, blueberries, snap peas, sf mochas

Exercise: none

[lpearlmom]

Omygoodness my latest obsession is organizing. Who woulda thought? Ive been watching YouTube videos by clutterbug and it just totally inspired me. I completely organized my kitchen/pantry area or actually mostly just the counter spaces as well as my bathroom sink counter. I put just about everything away including the toaster and it really looks beautiful. That is just the tip of the iceberg though. So much more to do in thete as well as the entire house. I even signed up for the clutterbug online course. Im going to drive doc crazy i know.

Today was a fast day. Isn’t it odd that i dont get hungry on those days. That doesn’t mean i dont want to eat for other reasons though. My weight is finally down a bit. So happy.

165.8 lbs woot!

Ate: sf cocoa, snap peas, radishes, grilled portobello mushroom

Walked dogs
Steps 11k

[lpearlmom]

I am thoroughly stuffed! I have this awful pattern of getting discouraged anytime my weight is up and then just kind of blowing it. Will i ever get to the point where i just don’t have over the top days anymore or am i just attracted to extremes?

Oh well back on track tomorrow. I think my 500 calories has been slowly creeping up and i really need to be firmer about that. I think I need to maybe eat the same things every fast days and possibly not cook too much on those days. Maybe just super simple assembly or sheet pan type meals. Either way the scale is going in the right direction. I went ahead and weighed out for my group challenge so at least i dont have to worry about that although im still doing my long term one plus a mini one with doc. At least total strangers aren’t relying on me.

My house is looking beautiful though. Something just clicked in my brain and im suddenly able to understand how to organize my house. The woman teaching the clutterbug course has ADD so im thinking our brains work alike. Doc came home today while i was out and called me to ask if id taken all our stuff and left him. The problem for me is that if our house is cluttered or messy, i just cannot fully relax and enjoy myself because im thinking about how i need to deal with that.

Other than that things are going well. Ive been spending a lot of quality time with sweetpea and even rosebud hung out with us yesterday. Today started passover so i made matzo ball soup and we had a nice family meal by the pool which we rarely do anymore. Tomorrow i get my 2nd shot! Woot!

Ate: a lot
Exercise: none unless shopping counts.

[lpearlmom]

Did a lot better today. Got my 2nd shot today. Feeling tired. Spent most of the day color coordinating my bookcase. Pretty.

Fast day: sf mocha, smoothie, broth, jicama

[lpearlmom]

Gosh it’s been quiet on here. I kinda feel like auto was the glue that keeps us all together. Ah well. Didnt feel particularly well today. Definitely feeling the after effects of the vaccine. So exciting though to think ill have some protection now. I think it’s especially safe to be around other vaccinated ppl.

Doc and i are really clashing over our different needs regarding cleanliness and organization. I think ive really avoided confronting him in the past because I didn’t want any conflict. I dont even mind cleaning up after him but when he puts his stuff everywhere and doesn’t want me to move it, then we have a problem. Clearly he likes to see his stuff and i like everything hidden away. Hopefully we can work it out.

Wasnt super hungry today. Also didn’t exercise again. ;/

Breakfast: scrambled egg w spinach, black beans and salsa
Lunch: fruit, yogurt, crackers
Dinner: salad, small glass wine
Dessert: sf chai, kitty cat cookies

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

I kind of agree about auto being the glue! I have been busy, and it seems I never have enough time to settle in here.

Thats great you have gotten your house organized! I totally understand the clash between you and Doc. I have similar ones with my husband just because he holds onto EVERYTHING but has no place to put it. He has gotten better about it recently but its still a battle.

Glad Sweetpea has a psychiatrist that she likes better! I know how easy it is to feel guilty about the past, but we only do the best we can and what we know at the time and we are continually gaining new knowledge. Sounds like you are acting on your new knowledge and therefore you are doing a great job helping her.

[Jen1974]

When I have time I want to work on cleaning & decluttering too!! I’m such a happier person in a clean environment & feel like less clutter is less stressful!! Me too on the messy husband but mine at least lets me clean up after him

[lpearlmom]

Thanks hippie and Jen! I moved to a new thread just for a fresh start. We’ll see if it helps!

[lpearlmom]

Okay i missed my old thread. I realized there’s years and years of my story on here and i don't want that to get lost.

Things have been much better with my eating and exercise the last couple of days but in general been feeling very stressed and anxious. Mostly worrying about my kids. Sweetpea has not really been dealing with all the college stuff and when i try to ask her about it, she gets upset with me for treating her like a kid. So im torn between letting her have natural consequences and wanting to make sure things go smoothly. Especially since ive already put money down on housing for her.

Idk, i just feel like im already having empty nest syndrome a bit. Just feeling a little lost. Doc has been working a ton and the girls need me so much less. I actually had a moment today where I couldn’t think of anything i needed to do. I haven’t experienced that for a long time. So i took a bath. I just need a new outlet. Im taking this organizing course and wondering if i could turn that into some kind of money earning thing at some point. Would be fun if nothing else.

Ill be okay. Seems like i start the day off feeling super anxious and then feel better by the evening. I made an appointment with my dr to see if maybe i need different meds. Maybe that'll help.

Back to weighing just once a week. The daily is just too stressful for me. Hoping the scale is good to me tomorrow!

Fast day: tea, sf cocoa, plain popcorn, raw veggie, pickles

Exercise: walked dogs , treadmill 30 mins.

[April]

Hi Linda, I just posted in your ADF thread and noticed your latest post here. I am 3 years out from being a "new" Empty-nester myself. The anticipation that last year of high school was MUCH worse than the actual empty nest. I still miss my amazing son but he still calls every week and communicates via text/email and comes home frequently on summer break/winter break. We are very lucky to have a very good adult child/parent relationship. The positives moving into a new season of life has included a deeper relationship with my husband, and also some new and closer friendships with other empty nest moms, and more time to myself to work on projects, organizing, hobbies, etc. It was a true time of grief over the change of not seeing your child(ren) on the daily, but also brings many new good things! I feel your stress - it is a tough time that last year of high school especially! I think I felt more stressed that year than any other.

[automatedeating]

I think this whole kid-going-to-college thing must be absolutely life-changing/stressful for parents, even if it goes very smoothly.
I find myself in a different category - Challenger is very difficult to live with, in some ways, and sometimes I daydream about him moving out. I immediately feel guilty.

[lpearlmom]

Sorry for being so confusing April! I really appreciate hearing from someone that’s recently gone through this and it’s good to know there’s a lot of positives. I definitely see mine and doc’s relationship gettinga stronger as the girl’s get more independent.

Auto: Don’t feel guilty, we have all been there. Seems like i was feeling like that not too long ago. As soon as they’re fun to hang out with again, it’s time for them to move out.

Feeling much better today although just a lot of ups and downs. Yesterday we were supposed to go out on our boat but the key was no where to be found. We had to cancel and doc had to put in a new ignition. But the day did end well. We went to this outdoor venue in the middle of the desert for a dinner. It was a beautiful setting with strung lights, tablecloths and vintage crystal. They even had a bar set up and a guitarist playing. (Pics up on Instagram). We took doc’s PA and her hubby. Beautiful and surreal. A lot of fun.

Then today was going great till my pet sitter canceled on me. We’re supposed to go to San Diego for rosebuds bday surprise so im kinda freaking out. I really don’t think cupcake would do well at kennel and the place we are going doesn’t allow pets. Hopefully I’ll figure something out.

Fast day: sf mocha, tea, popcorn, raw veggie

Exercise: walked dogs; treadmill 30 mins

[pinkhippie]

Glad you are feeling better! That eating-out experience sounds amazing!

I know what you mean about trying to make yourself sit back and let your teen figure things out on their own. It's hard!

I hope you are able to find a pet sitter. My dogs don't do well in kennels either.

[worth it]

Linda,

Can I just say your return to this original thread inspired me to post today?! 🥰 Love that you didn’t miss a beat! And love to hear that you are continually trying to find the balance that works for you, especially through ever-changing times with your girls, Doc, family, etc. Thanks for sharing because once my almost 11yo gets to the teenage years, I will likely be re-reading pages 25-46 on this thread for shreds of support and advice, lol


(And p.s. I have no idea if page 25 starts the girls teenage adventures or not, but it seems like a logical start?)

[lpearlmom]

Thanks hippie!

So good to see you worth & im glad I helped your return. You’ve been missed! And yes the teen years are tough yet rewarding dare I say?

I’ve been MIA for several days because we were in San Diego. We had a lovely time and rosebud was very surprised.

A lot has happened but I’m falling asleep so will keep it short. 1) sweetpea came out to me and doc. So now she has a gf but she thinks she might still be attracted to men too? 2) I’m on new meds that help we lot with the anxiety but make me v hungry and sleepy so my weight is up a bit. 3) I joined another team challenge god knows why. 4) my mom fell and has a hairline fracture on her pelvis. 5) despite all this, I’m doing pretty okay.

Dinner: veggies, fish soup, nf yogurt w fruit, sf cocoa

Exercise: walked dogs , treadmill 30 mins—ran/walk

[Jen1974]

I’m glad you had a nice trip!! That’s awesome your daughter can talk to you about all of that!! Not all kids are so lucky!

[pinkhippie]

Sorry to hear about your mom! I am glad she is ok. That's great that Sweetpea felt comfortable enough to come out to you guys. My 18 yo came out a while ago and it's almost the same thing. Girls but maybe guys too? I don't know. She had a girlfriend briefly but it didn't last long. Glad you had a great trip to CA! That sounds like lots of fun.

[ladybird30]

You do have a lot going on at the moment, so good to hear you are OK. Lovely that Sweetpea felt able to talk to you and Doc about something so important to her.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Jen, im super glad she felt comfortable telling me.

Hippie, it’s crazy how similar our girls are. Sexuality is much more fluid for teens these days though in general. I think it’s pretty cool. Not so black and white. How did you feel when she told you?

Thank you lady, you're so sweet!

It’s funny, as open minded as I consider myself, it did throw me for a loop when sweetpea told me. I didn’t let her know that of course and was super supportive but I did have a moment of mourning the image i had of her and her future. When i saw how easily doc accepted it though, I snapped out of it and was like yeah of course this is totally fine. It’s only been a couple of weeks and im already totally comfortable with it so that’s a relief. She actually asked me if there were any homophobic ppl in our family that she could shock. I think she was only half joking.

The thing with my mom is a lot. It’s forcing me to really take things day by day because if i get too ahead of myself, i start to get very anxious. Im hoping she can come here to recover but it’s likely she’ll have to go to a rehab center. To make things further complicated i have to deal with my sister throughout this and that brings up so many different emotions. Im just trying to go with the flow and not let her get to me. We will get through this.

Good news, my weight is going back down and my hunger is back to normal. Oh and i got this app called the cutback coach and it helps you to moderate your drinking. I really love it. My goal is 7 drinks a week with 4 dry days. It’s interactive through text and very motivating.

Break: sf mocha
Lunch: watermelon, yogurt
Dinner: shrimp bowl

Exercise: walked dogs , 1 hr treadmill walking

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda! It is funny how similar our girls sound! yes sexuality is a way more fluid thing for teens these days. I think I felt similar to you at first. I wasn't shocked because she had been hinting since she was about 14. However I still had to mourn a little for the future I had envisioned, but eventually came around to really I just want her to be with someone who loves her and cherishes her for who she is, and I don't care what gender they identify as. My husband was also very accepting. Being a parent of a teenager these days is definitely challenging as far as open-mindedness and accepting of new ideas. I often wonder if this is how the parents felt in the 60's and 70's when all their kids became hippies!

Im sorry about your mom. Is your sister on board with the rehab center? I know she was going to buy her a house. You will get through this!

Glad to hear about your weight and your hunger! Good news!

[Jen1974]

I’m sorry about your mom!! That sounds stressful!!

[lpearlmom]

Totally agree Hippie and if I’m honest, I like her gf better than I liked the boyfriend.

Thanks Jen!

Well I got back from San Pedro (where my mom lives) yesterday just in time to celebrate rosebuds bday. We didn’t do much since we already celebrated in San Diego but we gave her gifts to her as well as an ice cream cake. I got her new AirPods, jewelry and incense. Oh yeah and doc gave her throwing knives (don’t ask).

My mom is doing OK. The rehab place isn’t horrible but it’s far from ideal. I really want her home with me but waiting for the okay from the doctors. She may have to stay there for several more weeks... ugh.

I feel so badly for her because my sister got her this really nice new apartment and she can’t even enjoy it right now. I spent my time up there trying to figure out my mom’s situation as well as helping my sister get her apartment ready for when she does finally come home. I bought her a new tv and will go back next week to set up cable for her.

The surprising part is that my sister and I are actually getting along really well. Not fake getting along because we don’t want to fight but genuinely getting along and enjoying each other’s company. Kinda amazing. She is however driving my mom crazy with her overbearing nature but that’s another story.

My weight hasn’t budged in awhile and I think I’m going to make some changes with the quality of what I’m eating as well as just trying to be more consistent with what I’m doing. That’s my biggest struggle sometimes. I’m also trying to decide how often to weigh. Never seems to be a good answer on that.

Today is my bday but it definitely doesn’t feel that way. Not this Saturday but the next, we are going to celebrate my bday at my favorite restaurant with some friends so I’m mostly excited about that. A lot on my mind so I don’t really care about presents. Just happy to be home with family.

Yesterday:
Lunch: handful nuts, couple crackers, strawberries
Dinner: fish taco, beans, horchata
Dessert: small piece ice cream cake

Oh I’m also joined this thing called Cutback Coach. It’s an interactive texting thing that helps you meet your alcohol intake goals. I really like it. My goal is 7 or less drinks a week with 4 dry days per week. Last week it tried to make me go to 5 drinks but not ready for that just yet. 7 feels reasonable.

[pinkhippie]

Happy Birthday! I hope you at least have a pleasant and happy day today, even if you aren't celebrating. That is pretty great that you and your sister are getting along and enjoying each other's company. Sounds like you are busy taking care of your mom and getting her apartment set up. Just remember to take care of yourself along the way.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

[Jen1974]

Happy Birthday Linda!!

[lpearlmom]

Thanks you guys! I thought I was fine doing nothing for my bday but then that night I felt a little sad that my family didn’t do anything. Then doc told me he got me ballet tickets for an outdoor ballet at the botanical gardens so I felt better. Super excited about that. Also next Saturday we are going to my favorite super upscale restaurant with friends to celebrate so I can’t really complain.

I’ve been going back and forth to LA to deal with my mom. I’ve been staying at her new apartment and getting everything set while also trying to manage everything with her situation. She’s still staying at the post Acute center but she really wants to leave. Doc talked to the orthopedic surgeon and he said she could go home with us. She can’t put any weight on her one hip/leg so it will be a lot of work but I feel up to it. My sister is being a little paranoid/controlling and is less on board with her leaving so soon but I’m determined to take my mom home next week. Hopefully we can get on the same page.

My eating has been all over the place and I’ve decided to give OMAD a try. I’m just really curious to see how my body will react to consistently sticking to this for awhile. Doc is doing OMAD too so that’ll be nice. I will give myself Sunday’s off though however. I almost hate putting my intentions out there as I’ve done that in the past only to quickly abandon them. I’m hoping this tone will be different.

Dinner: veg wrap, green beans & tomatoes, fruit, 3 glasses wine, , iced blended sf mocha

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda! Outdoor ballet sounds awesome! I would love that. Sounds like you have a lot going on with your mom and life right now. It's nice that Doc is doing OMAD too, I think that would probably help you be able to do it more easily if you have a partner.

[Jen1974]

I hope things are going well with your mom!! You’re an awesome daughter to have her come stay, I’m sure it’s a lot of work for you!!

[lpearlmom]

Boy, it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in. My mom’s been here almost 4 weeks and she’s finally been given the go ahead to put full weight on both legs so things are finally getting easier. My mom was so happy she cried. It’s actually been really great having her. I’m proud of myself for how patient I’ve managed to be through all this. She’ll stay a couple more weeks till she’s fully recovered.

The girls are doing pretty well although they’re currently not speaking.. again. Rosebud got her license and has a job at a tutor center. Sweetpea has been staying at her friends house whom I trust completely. She seems happy.

I started doing Pilates with my neighbor/friend and I absolutely loving it. We’ve been going about 4-5x a week. It’s kinda addicting. I’ve also been mostly sticking to OMAD but not clean fasting. Yet, yet my weight will not budge. So frustrating and unfair. I kinda rebelled today and ate in a 4 hour window. I ate a lot of chocolate too. I just gotta hang in there. I don’t know what else to do.

Doc on the other hand has lost lots of weight and doing great. I do notice a mood change though. I don’t think he handles hunger well. He’s always loved to eat. There’s just no winning I guess.

166.8 lbs

Break: sf chai
Dinner; baked chicken, rutabaga gratin, wine
Dessert: sf chocolate, chocolate covered pretzels

Exercise: run/walk 25 mins treadmill

Tomorrow’s a new day.

[ladybird30]

Good to hear that your Mum is doing well

[lpearlmom]

Thanks ladybird!

My mom is doing great but, unfortunately, her and my sister are not getting along at all. My sister makes her cry every time they talk on the phone. It’s really upsetting. My sister is just being incredibly unreasonable. She’s basically mad at my mom for falling… ugh.

Anyway today was good. Went to Pilates, did laundry and not much else. This weekend we are going to our friends bday party and then Sunday we’re going out on the boat and then out to dinner for Father’s Day. Much to look forward to!

Break: sf chai
Dinner: chicken salad sandwich, chips & salsa
Dessert: sf cocoa, sf chocolate

Exercise: reformer Pilates, 1 hr.

[lpearlmom]

Break: sf chai
Dinner: taco salad, margaritas
Dessert: sf caramels

Exercise: Pilates reformer—1hr

[lpearlmom]

Gosh it’s been so long since I’ve checked in. Don’t even know where to start really but things are going really well. I’ve been sticking to OMAD (mostly) and am truly addicted to Pilates. I go 4-5x/wk. I haven’t lost much weight but definitely experiencing body recomposition. I can see the difference in the mirror and I fit into a pair of jeans that I haven’t been able to even zip up for awhile. I’m getting toned and more flexible and developing a strong core for the first time in years. Yay! Doc is doing OMAD too and has lost over 20 lbs and cut is A1C in half. His dr was thrilled and he’s able to stay off meds for now.

My mom’s back home and doing well. My sister has calmed down and we are all on good terms. Then we went to LA for a few days to help docs mom while she recovered from knee surgery and his sister was super passive aggressively pissed at us for not helping out with his mom more. We apologized and she seemed okay but is being weird/cold over text still. She said she just needed more communication between us all. I said I always feel like she needs space so don’t want to be overbearing but she assured me that she wants ZERO space. Soooooo… doc and I have been calling or texting more but now she’s acting annoyed about it. I give up the ball is squarely in her court at this point.

I finally got up on the wake board and promptly fell down but it’s a start. I also pulled a muscle but am working through the pain.

We have so much to look forward to. Next month we go to Sedona for a few days, then right after that I go to Monterey to stay w a friend for a bit. In October I’m going to visit my roommate from college in the Russian river valley and in November we go back to Napa with friends from Med school. Finally in March we’re going to Costa Rica to a surf resort where we get to learn how to surf as well as a bunch of other activities!

I switch my meds to Prozac and wow what a difference. My mental health has never been better. It does make me less emotional which some ppl don’t like. However for someone that has spent much of her life crippled by emotions, this feels like a gigantic relief.

I’m just so grateful for my life right now. The girls are even on good terms. I’m really really fortunate. I know.

Weigh: 165 lbs

Dinner: bowl of chili, handful of nuts, cherries, 2 nectarines, sf mocha

Exercise: 1 hr reformer class.

[lpearlmom]

Today was good but I kind of overdid it at dinner. I’m not used to feel overly full and I definitely don’t like it. Hopefully the scale won’t be up too much tomorrow.

164.2 lbs

Snack: nectarines, cherries, 2 handfuls of popcorn
Dinner: scrambled eggs, 2 pieces bacon, 1 piece of toast, smoothie (We did breakfast for dinner. )

Exercise: Pilates reformer 1.5 class

[pinkhippie]

Linda, wow it sounds like you are doing so well! Im very happy for you and glad that a different med is helping you so much. That's great that your mom is doing well and you and your sister are on good terms. And that your girls on are on good terms too! yay! Glad OMAD is working for you and that you are enjoying Pilates so much too!

[lpearlmom]

Thank you hippie!!


Today was pretty good. I went to Pilates than helped my friend move her daughter. By the time I got there, there really wasn’t much left to do. I did a little and then her daughter took us out to lunch. Was fun!

Lunch; pizza, salad , 2 glasses wine
Snack: iced blended sf mocha

Exercise: 1.5 reformer class

[lpearlmom]

I’m a bit frustrated with my weight. It was actually up today even though I’ve been consistently doing OMAD everyday as well as Pilates most days. I do look and feel smaller but the scale is frustrating me. I thought about weighing just once a month or something but I don’t think I can do that. We shall see.

Feeling a little stressed about how much money we’ve been spending lately. I think it’s a little covid backlash but am going to try to reign it in today. I think that I do spend money for a little lift sometimes and it’s just all do easy to do that online. I bought several pairs of shoes today. What was I thinking?

Anyway it’ll be okay. Our 401k is healthy and we’re about to make a good amount of money off the selling of our rental house. It’s all good. Breathe.

Snack: nectarines, cherries, sf mocha
Dinner: chicken, 1 serving of chips and dip, sf chai

Exercise; control & balance Pilates class

[lpearlmom]

Feeling better today. DH got a very timely bonus check today. I did all the bills and feeling okay again.

It’s unbelievable how slowly my weight is coming off. It’s about 1/2 lb per week which isn’t bad but I need to be losing at rate of at least .6/wk. Hopefully, things will start moving soon.

164.2

Snack: strawberries
Dinner: shrimp tacos, spicy margarita
Dessert: sf chai, 3 chocolate cherries

Rest Days

[Octavia]

Hi Linda,
Just offering sympathy with the frustration of slow weight loss. It’s always way, way slower than the books etc. say! I can never believe it when I read even moderate, scientific writers (the sort who scorn ‘dieting’) saying that a ‘modest’, ‘slow’ 1-2 lb a week is ‘safe’ and we shouldn’t aim higher… lol…where do they get these figures from??? Are they pulling our legs, trying to make us cry? I have never lost 1-2lb a week, even when doing a strict low fat diet in my early 20s. Anyway, it sounds like you are doing amazingly well on your current routine!

[pinkhippie]

Linda, yes our spending got a little out of hand with Covid too. So easy to just order things online! We have definitely reigned it in as well.

Octavia! So lovely to see you! Also, this is hilarious!

I can never believe it when I read even moderate, scientific writers (the sort who scorn ‘dieting’) saying that a ‘modest’, ‘slow’ 1-2 lb a week is ‘safe’ and we shouldn’t aim higher… lol…where do they get these figures from??? Are they pulling our legs, trying to make us cry?

I always think the EXACT same thing!

[lpearlmom]

I hear ya! When I see that caution not to lose weight too fast I always think “ha, as if!”

I haven’t weighed myself in a bit but last time my weight was actually UP a few pounds. I really don’t know what’s going on but pretty sure it has something to do with hormones. Menopause is on the horizon.

But the good news is I found a new fasting app with a “coach” and am loving it. Basically you input your goals and then it gives a fasting schedule for the upcoming week. Each week they check in to see how you’re feeling and progressing and then tweak your plan accordingly. They also mix things up a lot which I’m really enjoying. Some days it’s a really long eating window and other days it’s fairly short. I even have a day off and I think I’ll just do nos on that day. It’s so much less stressful.

They also have mini challenges each week like drink enough water and exercise 30 mins 5x/wk. Everything is tracked right there on the app. It’s just right up my alley. I love mini challenges and variety. I also love that they adjust things till it’s working for you so even if you’re not losing at first, you know that they’ll change it till it does. Anyways I’m having a lot of fun with it. I also use an app, cutback coach, that tracks my drinking alcohol just to make sure I’m keeping things moderate.

Things are really quiet and good at home. Sweetpea has been mostly staying with her best friend and rosebud has just been a dream child. She goes to work, hangs out with her friends and always comes home at a super reasonable hour. I’m a bit worried about sweetpea going off to college as she’s just not a very organized, disciplined person but I also feel like she needs to figure it out. It’s pretty clear she doesn’t want my help with anything anyways. So we shall see but I do feel better now that her best friend is going to be her roommate. He’s just such a sweet , responsible human. And I like knowing she’ll have a friend from the get go.

DH is doing well but the OMAD really makes him grumpy. I get that he needs to stick with it though. His health is seriously at stake. I’m hoping our trip to Sedona will be relaxing for him. Can’t wait!

Tomorrow I’m going to brunch and shopping with some friends and the girls. Woot!

Break: 2 thin slices ww bread w almond butter and honey, strawberries, sf mocha
Dinner: chicken Greek salad, baba ghanoush, small glass wine
Dessert: sf mocha, protein bar

Exercise: cardio Pilates 1 hr (was tough but good!)

[lpearlmom]

Today was really fun! We went to brunch at this cute little French bistro type place and then we went shopping at Nordstrom. They were having a big sale plus I had overpaid them on their credit card so I had a big credit. Stress free shopping! I got some super cute loungey clothes and rosebud got a really sweet dress. (Sweetpea didn’t come.)

165.6 (not great but less then my last weigh in)

Brunch: moules frites, salmon carpaccio , couple glasses wine
Snack: iced chai, zucchini bread

Rest day

[TeacherJ]

Hi Linda,
I love zucchini bread. I haven't had it in ages, but my mom used to make it.

I like reading about French culture. I think it would be neat to go to a French restaurant.

I don't know how tall you are, but our stats seem similar. I am probably around 200ish pounds. I would love to get to 130. I recall being that size in my mid twenties. That might be a smaller than my size 10 goal, but it would be nice to get there again.

[lpearlmom]

Hi Teach! Yes I love zucchini bread and this was yummy! I am 5’3” so yes very similar although strangely I fit in a size 12. I think I have a lot of muscle so look smaller but weigh a lot. I’m determined to get to 130 but dang is my body being difficult. I weight 135 when I got married and in college I was in the low 120s. So I think it’s possible. Hopefully…


I was kinda lazy today and didn’t get much done besides grocery shopping. During covid, we got all our groceries delivered so am having to get used to actually going to the store again which I don’t mind. It is time consuming though. I will get my butt in gear tomorrow.

I had a day off of fasting—woot!

Breakfast; oatmeal w berries and pb , 2 pieces toast
Dinner; scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, ww toast
Dessert: berries w cream, sf mocha

Exercise: reformer 1.5 class

[lpearlmom]

Today was good. Sweetpea came home last night and started to get irrationally angry over something. I quickly got tense and had the worried feeling in the pit of my stomach. You just never know what you’re going to get with her. I didn’t realize how stressful that was until i was away for it a bit. A couple moms in my Pilates class we’re talking about how sad they were that their kids were a out to go off to college and i was like “is it bad that im excited for my daughter t go off to school?” Im just trying to keep it real. Im sure im not the only one that feels this way. I do love her to death but shes just so ready to be on her own and i guess im ready for some space. She’s just been such a. Intense child from the get go. I should have done a lot of things differently. Maybe shed be different but i cant change the past. I do think this will also be an exciting experience for her too. Itll probably hit me on drop off day and ill have a little break down.

Snack: watermelon
Dinner: walnut encrusted salmon with edamame mash and seaweed salad, glass of wine
Dessert. 2 plumcots and a couple almonds

Exercise; pilates suspend 1.5 (omg, so hard!)

[Soprano]

If it helps, my son was very intense, I was very ready for him to go to uni. He came back after and was difficult but got a job in London, matured massively and is an absolute delight now.

Jx

[lpearlmom]

Thanks soprano! That does help a lot. I think it’ll be good for all of us and plus she’s only going to be a couple hrs away so thats good.

Today was pretty good. Im trying to do a 30 hr fast so i had break and wont eat again till like 4pm tomorrow. I did allow myself a couple sugar free drinks though this evening. I haven’t weighed myself this week but i do feel a little lighter and definitely feel stronger and more toned from pilates. Feeling like im on the right track at least.

Breakfast: 2 pieces ww toast w almond butter, 2 veggie sausage, watermelon, sf cocoa
Snack:: 1 sf cocoa, 1 zero gatorade

Exercise: 30 mins walking treadmill, pilates reformer 1.5

[lpearlmom]

Oh boy back from our vacay in Sedona. We had such a lovely time. Met up with some friends of ours who had two other families traveling with them. They were all Jewish and there was something just so comfortable about hanging with them. Like an unspoken understanding of each other. We went for a hike on Sunday morning and then went back to our rental house and relaxed in the jacuzzi for a bit. Later that night we had everyone over for a bbq and I just felt so uplifted and special. Everyone was just blown away that we had put such a nice party together so quickly and even had options for the two vegans in the group. They loved the house and they seemed to enjoy all of dhs interesting stories. They even had a girl the same age as sweetpea and those two hit it off. Really just a great night overall. Nobody drank except doc & I do that felt a bit awkward but it was fine.

Turn today we drove up to flagstaff in the way and looked at Sweetpea’s college and new living area. They were so nice and helpful at the college and is in such a beautiful spot surrounded by forest. I felt very reassured with seeing everything and I know she will really thrive. I’m also happy because she said her friend she’s moving in with is super outdoorsy and will probably want her to hike and ski with him. I think getting her to be more active and to spend more time in nature will be great for her.

Everything is good but I’m so frustrated with my weight. It’s not budging no matter what I do. I would normally totally throw in the towel at this point but I will lose a lot of money if I do that. I overate tonight in frustration but I will just have to get back up tomorrow and keep trying.

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit, chai
Snack: couple chips w guacamole
Dinner: hamburger, turkey dog ,
Dessert: chocolate, fruit, yogurt , kind bar

[pinkhippie]

Vacation sounds great! We just got back from ours too.

I know how frustrating it can be when the weight won't budge. Have you thought of sticking to one regimen for a month but not weighing at all? Not sure if that would be helpful.

Also really hear you on that intensity! We had my 18 yo on vacation and she is NOT moving away to college, but I am looking forward to her moving out (hopefully in October)because its just a lot. She is diagnosed bipolar and dealing with her mental health issues can be exhausting.

[lpearlmom]

Hippie: i hear ya on difficult teens. I think ive mentioned sweetpea was also diagnosed with bipolar but then another pysch thought maybe it was borderline? Who knows but it can be really tense when she’s home. Mostly shes very sweet and a lot of fun but the smallest thing will set her off. She’s basically got zero frustration tolerance. I just think we’re all ready for this next phase in out life.

Also, i love the idea of just sticking to something and not weighing for a month. I get too discouraged when my weight plateaus. And whats so stupid is i could see lots of changes in my body and was starting to feel really good.

Unfortunately ive been in a bit of a downward spiral these last couple of says and have been overeating like crazy. Not feeling so great about myself right now. I just need to get myself baxk on frack and itll be fine.

Ive also been super lethargic, and have a lot of brain fog. I dont know if it’s related but i went cold turkey on quitting artificial sweeteners. Ive also been getting headaches so maybe it is some kind of withdrawal. Just a bad time to be tired with w much to do. We are throwing a bbq Saturday night. Not sure how im going to get this organized. Tomorrow we go on the boat so we just have friday and Saturday to get the house ready and prep all the food. Ugh!

[pinkhippie]

Interesting about sweetpea, my daughter is more in the mood swings. Really happy and everything is fine or its all terrible and life isn't worth living. Sigh..

I hope you are doing ok with your weight loss efforts! Good luck with no artificial sweeteners! My husband went off those when he noticed his sciatic nerve pain flaring up! I did when I noticed headaches. I think it does affect some of us more strongly than others.

[lpearlmom]

Yeah that’s tough hippie. Raising these intense kids in no joke!

Well I’m back in artificial sweeteners. Doc looked into it for me and said he couldn’t find any good studies to back up the claim that they’re bad for you so that was good enough for me. I do believe they negatively effect some ppl so maybe that’s where the confusion lies.

I’ve had a rough couple of days. My friend invited me to her rental house in Monterey and I was super excited but it ended up not going that well. The first night she ordered us a pitcher of margaritas and they hit me really hard since I hadn’t eaten yet that day. I won’t go into all the gory details but I ended up totally acting crazy and I think I told her stuff I never tell anyone. Basically I embarrassed myself big time. She’s a lot bigger than me so she was fine. But the next morning I woke up and wanted to die. I literally almost got on a plane and went back home but I figured I needed to just face the music so I and did. It was a bit awkward but we just kind of glossed over it.

That was all my fault but I really didn’t appreciate how she treated me a lot of the times. She was just constantly trying to pry into our financial situation and she has repeatedly told me how they have so much money they retire now. She’s also very judgey about how much money I spend on things. They’re very thrifty and I like nice things.

I just ended up not feeling great about myself when I spend too much time with her. I’m just too old for these mind games. I think I’m going to distance myself from her for awhile and spend time with ppl that uplift me. On the upside Monterey was beautiful and we had a lot of delicious food.

On the eating front I started using this app called 80 bites. You track your bites on there. You can have up to 80 bites a day but no more than 25 at a time. Basically it calls for eating less and less often. It does encourage a fast of at least a 16/8. You can eat whatever but try to keep it a balanced meal.

I thought it would be weird but I’m actually really enjoying it. I lowered my bites to 60 a day since I’m short, female and middle aged. I’m finding it easy and somehow more freeing. This is basically how my naturally thin daughter eats. I’ll see if I lose weight though. Still doing Pilates—yay!

Lunch: yogurt, nuts, chips, dip, sf cocoa —22 bites
Dinner: 1/2 salad , small bowl of soup , bread —25 bites
Dessert: yogurt, 1/2 cookie, fruit—15 bites

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

yeah raising intense kids can be exhausting!

Ack! I hate that feeling of having told people things I wish I hadn't. It sounds like though that this friend maybe isn't the greatest of friends so maybe not worry about what she thinks about what you told her. I think your idea to distance yourself and get away from the mindgames sounds healthy.

I have used that app before! That stomach can be harsh! (the little cartoon stomach for those who don't know) I hope it works for you! I feel like there was a member here a long time ago who used to count her bites... I'm pretty sure Im remembering that right...

[lpearlmom]

Hi hippie: yeah, i dont know why i get sucked into these toxic friendships. Seems to be a pattern for me. I tend to be friends with anyone that wants to be friends with me before really figuring out if i really like them or not. Sometimes it works out great but other times its a disaster. I guess i need to be a little more selective because once someone considers you a friend, it’s really painful ending things. I’ll figure it out. Hopefully.

Yes the stomach is mean but i just realized he says the exact same thing every meal so i nust ignore him. I really like it because i eat enjoyable food but in amounts that feel good. I think i like the exactness of it all. Plus i feel like a dainty french woman.

Fasted till 1 pm

Lunch: blt sandwich 16 bites
Dinner: sausage & peppers, bread, salad—26 bites
Dessert: 1/4 muffin, nectarine-18 bites

Slept through pilates. Woops.

[pinkhippie]

I used to get into romantic relationships like that too! If they liked me I dated them. I know how that can go.

Its true, the stomach does just say the same stuff over and over, I just ignored him too.

Glad this way of eating is working for you!

[lpearlmom]

Thx hippie! I think maybe we are ppl pleasers? But how do i break up with her without hurting her feelings?

Today was good. Ran errands with sweetpea and did laundry. Was fun hanging out with her. Gonna miss that girl even if she does drive me crazy sometimes. Tomorrow Im taking her to get hair extensions. Excited!

Still recovering from my trip but feeling much better. I swear i dont want to drink again for awhile.

Fasted till 230.

Snack/lunch: 1/2 chicken salad, 3 chocolate covered cherries—19 bites
Dinner: shrimp fajitas, coconut water-24 bites
Dessert: yogurt, 1/2 muffin, chocolate covered cherries, peach pie, sf cocoa-23 bites

Exercise: pilates stretching class

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

I don't think there is any way to end a friendship without hurting feelings. I think it's inevitable. Ghosting hurts people's feelings, and being straight and blunt hurts people's feelings too. It's a tough situation! Myabe you could talk with her about what she has done or said that bothers you? Maybe she would be willing to listen and if not, then the friendship will naturally end? Just ideas, I have no idea. Maybe someone else could be more helpful.

When is Sweetpea leaving? Hair extensions sound exciting!

[lpearlmom]

Thx hippie. You’re right theres no easy way to do it. I think im just going to limit my time with her for now and then if she starts trying to dig into my finances or something i will tell her it makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe over time things will get better once im more honest about things.

Yes sweetpea got long straight extensions. She looks so great and is having a lot of dun with her new look. I can tell it’s giving her a ton of confidence. She leaves for school this Saturday. Im just so happy for her. She’s in such a great place. So much better than she was last year.

163.6 woot!

Fasted till 330

Snack: yogurt, nuts, fruit, cheese
Dinner: turkey , zucchini and corn skillet dinner, w chips
Dessert: nectarine, chocolate covered cherries

Total bites: 60

Exercise: cardio pilates

[lpearlmom]

Nothing new to report. Oh except that im going to get evaluated for possibly having ADD. Long story but it’s exciting to be finally possibly getting some answers.

No fasting today.

Snack: leftover skillet turkey w chips
Dinner: chicken shawarma salad, baba ghanoush , pita
Dessert: yogurt, nectarine, chocolate covered cherries

Total Bites: 63
—I swear little to no hunger

Exercise: none. I keep having to cancel el my Pilates classes because im so busy helping sweetpea.

[ladybird30]

Friendships wax and wane, and some can tolerate more frankness than others. I have managed to forgive one friend who really stepped over the line, perhaps because I heard from others that that person regretted their actions. Also perhaps because they are part of my friendship group, and in a relatively small city one has to be less choosy once one finds somewhere one fits in. However, although I have forgiven them, I haven't forgotten. There are other people who I just don't have anything to do with anymore, and some people who I would love to see more of, but alas they don't live in my city anymore.

Digging into finances is definitely a no-no in anglo - celtic Australian circles, but I understand that it is quite acceptable in say India. Even with my closest friends I would feel hesitant about talking directly about money, so I understand your reluctance to discuss something so personal. Good luck with the ADD testing.

[pinkhippie]

I'm so glad to hear how well Sweetpea is doing! Such a good feeling as her mama!

Yeah, I definitely think it's ok to lay down some boundaries with friends. Hard, but ok. Some people just really need that very clear boundary line delineation or they will run across it.

Interesting about the ADD evaluation! I have always wondered if I have it but never been tested. My DH does but has developed a lot of coping mechanisms to deal with it as an adult.

Let us know how it goes!

[oolala53]

Hi, Linda, just wanted to make sure a few people saw this news from Reinhard. viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12589

[Sammybunny711]

Hi, Linda, just wanted to make sure a few people saw this news from Reinhard. viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12589

Thank you for letting us know about this thread, Oolala!

[lpearlmom]

Thank you oolala and bunny! I’m so sad to hear that the site might close down. I definitely think we need to find a new place to post. Even though I haven’t been on here in awhile, I always plan on eventually returning after my breaks.

Gosh it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Not sure where to start but I’m just sort of being flexible. Most days I fast till at least 3 or 4pm but I dirty fast and don’t really have a set time to close my window although it’s rarely past 8 or 9pm. Occasionally I’ll count my bites when my portions get out of control and sometimes I’ll just do pure NoS. I keep somewhat low carb just to support doc but I’m not crazy strict.

My weight fluctuates between 165-170 despite my careful eating and daily exercise. I’m doing Pilates daily (some times twice or thrice a day), walk my dogs and occasionally go on the treadmill. I’m definitely stronger more toned and more flexible but the scale doesn’t want to budge.

I finally realized that my stomach is not going anywhere. It’s stubborn fat plus a lot of loose skin from losing weight and 2 c-sections. So I’ve made the decision to have a tummy tuck with lipo plus a breast lift. I never thought I’d do anything so extreme but I kinda feel like I deserve it in some weird way after all the years of struggling with my weight and feeling Shane over my body. I’m doing this purely for myself. Nobody in my life currently comments on my body so it’s just a gift I’m giving myself and yes I know how privileged I am to even be able to have this option. Anyway it’s happening on Jan 6th. The surgeon is a friend and her husband who is also a surgeon will be assisting. I know they’ll take very good care of me. I’ve heard the recovery is brutal but at least I don’t have little kids or a job to go too. I’m lucky lucky lucky. I know this.

Other than that, all is well.

Snack: lollipop, apple
Dinner: bibimpap w cauliflower rice, glass of wine
Dessert: 5 chocolate pretzels, sf cocoa

Exercise: 2 Pilates classes (50 mins ea), walked dogs (30 mins)

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

Im so glad to have an update from you! I know what you mean, it can feel discouraging with the weight staying the same no matter how steadfastly we stick to our habits.

Sounds like you have made a big decision! THat will be nice to not have the loose skin anymore! I hope the recovery will go well and smoothly for you. I'm interested to hear about your experiences after your surgery and recovery.

Is low carb eating helping Doc?

[Amy3010]

I understand your reasons for wanting plastic surgery. It's beautiful that you want to do it as a gift to yourself! I hope it all goes smoothly!

[lpearlmom]

thank you Hippie and amy!

it’s been about 4 1/2 weeks and i’m feeling great! the first week was pretty miserable but by the 3rd week i was feeling great.

i couldn’t be happier with the results. my surgeon did a great job. it’s crazy that i have a flat stomach now. i thought i’d lose a size or two but im not sure. it may just be that i’ll just look better in my clothes. there’s still some swelling so we shall see but either way, im happy. i haven’t weighed my self for months but debating if i should now just to make sure i don’t gain weight going forward. i just don’t want it to mess with my head too much.

im being super careful with my eating. i really don’t want to mess up the results so i guess it’s a good motivator too! i read a great book called How to Eat by mark bittman and have decided to go back to mostly plant-based eating. nothing is off limits but trying to keep it like 90% unprocessed vegan with v small amounts of dairy, fish a couple times a week and chicken & beef every 1-3 mos. it feels really good and i definitely get full faster.

we are going to costa rica in about 5 weeks. we are supposed to take surf lessons but i don’t know yet if my surgeon will clear me yet for surfing. :/ i can’t do pilates till at least 12 weeks out so mostly just been walking the dogs for now.


lunch: sf chai (my weakness), apple, handful nuts
dinner: harissa shrimp w cauliflower couscous
dessert: 15 chocolate covered cocoa beans, glass wine

[lpearlmom]

well after all that i decided to weigh myself yesterday. i was happy with my weight which is several lbs less than i weighed before surgery. of course then i ate more than usual which is one of the reasons i dislike weighing in the first place. it can effect my eating in irrational ways that don’t feel good. still was nice to know i was on track. maybe i can weigh myself monthly. definitely not more.

break: “mocha” (unsweetened cocoa powder, hickory “coffee”, cinnamon, almond milk and a small amount of agave.
lunch: 1/2 banana, serv if seeded crackers, iced sf chai
dinner: olives, grapefruit , beet salad, collard greens
dessert: nice cream (made w frozen bananas) w granola

walked dogs.

[pinkhippie]

Hi Linda!

Glad to see you here and glad your surgery was successful! WEighing messes with my head too! I didn't weigh myself for a long time, and then I started weighing myself only once a week on Fridays a few weeks ago. I think I will stick with that for now. However, the reason I weighed myself is because my jeans were slightly looser. And it turned out I weighed two pounds less than I did the last time I weighed myself. So, I think clothes can be a pretty accurate marker too.

Costa Rica sounds like an awesome trip!

[Amy3010]

So glad to hear your surgery went well and that you are happy with the results! I can imagine how that must be a great motivation to eat really well from here on out.

Weighing can really do a number on your mindset! I think you either have to do it very infrequently, or every single day and get a moving average. That's what I have been doing for the past 5 months or so, weighing every day and logging it, which can be brutal but it is helping me realize that ups and downs are completely normal.

[lpearlmom]

thanks Amy & hippie! miss this place for sure. i’m still struggling w the weighing game. back to weighing everyday so there’s no surprises down the road.

costa rica was fun but intense. being w the same 14 ppl night and day for a whole week gets exhausting but we did meet some amazing ppl. the resort was beautiful and the food was over the top which probably explains my recent weight gain.

i really want to go back to vanilla nos. it’s the only time i’m not obsessing about food all day. i think there’s something comforting about knowing i can have 3 good meals a day. the only mod will be allowing myself a small ramekin of olives or nuts while i cook dinner.

i started back to pilates but boy is it hard! back to ground zero for sure. finding it harder to be motivated but will hang in there.

break: s/f cocoa w almond milk
lunch: sf chai & bagel w cream cheese
dinner: brussel sprouts , roasted carrots, lentils, cabbage soup, wine
sf cocoa


166.8

exercise: none

[lpearlmom]

visiting my mom so haven’t been perfect but not too bad. it’s so weird how much my body image can fluctuate even in just one day. this morning i was feeling really good in my skin, but by this evening my insecurities were in full force once again. i think it was because i felt like i ate too much for dinner. if i eat foods that don’t feel safe, it makes me feel anxious about my body size. and yes i recognize how disordered my thinking can be around food and my body. the truth is there’s no way out.
*sigh*

going back tomorrow. excited to get back to pilates.

lunch: sf chai
dinner: chips, guac, veggie burrito (half) and 2 skinny margaritas
dessert: yasso yogurt bar

[lpearlmom]

i’m back home and my house looks v dirty to me. it’s pretty clean but we have all these clutter spots that make me crazy. i think i have spring cleaning fever.

busy day tomorrow though so not sure how much cleaning i’ll do.

glad to be home!

break: bran muffin, chai
lunch: chicken curry and rice, crackers and bruschetta
dinner: apple, kitty cat cookies

exercise: none

[pinkhippie]

HI Linda!

Glad to see you back!

[ladybird30]

Welcome home Linda.

[lpearlmom]

thank hippie and ladybird! i’m back but we are leaving for portland to look at colleges on wednesday night. i’m excited but am also feeling a bit overwhelmed. i really just want a quiet week or two to catch up on things. is it wrong to say i miss the lockdown sometimes? it’s the introvert in me i guess.

and i volunteered to babysit tomorrow night. i actually have been sending out some of our laundry because i can’t seem to stay on top of things. feels indulgent but it is super helpful.

well i haven’t been able to stick to 3 meals. i think i’m just a grazer at heart. unfortunately that can start to add up to a lot of food so i think im going to try 19/5 again. it’s not too restrictive but still helps with appetite correction.

i used to get really frustrated when i found myself not being able to stick to an eating plan. i used to take it as a sign that i shouldn’t be trying at all but now i’ve come to realize if persist through these rough patches i will eventually get back in the groove. i just have to keep trying different things till something clicks for me.

oh we also got a new chow chow puppy. rosebuds friend couldn’t keep him so we said we would. he’s so cute and sweet but a lot if work. cuz he’s a puppy 3 dogs is a lot of work & probably part of why i’m feeling extra overwhelmed lately. he will calm down though, i know.

break: sf cocoa
lunch: sf chai, grapes, crackers w avocado
dinner: fish tacos
dessert: cat cookies, a couple bites of ice cream

exercise: pilates reformer 1

[Kathleen]

Portland, OR or Portland, ME? Some large cities are downright dangerous. My brother lives an hour east of Portland and says it has become really unsafe.

Ellie is looking at grad schools. I told her to rule out U Washington because it is in Seattle.

Very sad.

[pinkhippie]

Exciting to look at colleges and exciting to get a puppy! They are a lot of work, but so fun once you get past that early puppy stage.

I find pretty good appetite correction around 19/5 as well. I notice that sometimes I just naturally gravitate to it, like i get tired of breakfast and Im not hungry in the morning, and then maybe a few months later I am craving breakfast and dreaming of oatmeal so I go back to just 3 meals. I think you are right, as long as we are consistent that's all that really matters. The one constant I have is I typically don't eat after dinner. But that's because my growling stomach will wake me up in the early morning if I do.

Good luck with babysitting! I know what you mean about wishing for things to be calmer, and missing the lockdowns. Life is getting more social here too and it's weird.

[lpearlmom]

hippie, you’re so smart to be flexible with your plan. honestly i never even thought of doing that. i’m either on one plan or another. rigid thinking i guess.

babysitting went well. she’s such a cute baby but she did have some bad spelling cries. i cannot tell you how much i don’t miss having babies. omg, my kids were a lot and i spent so many hours just trying to get them to sleep or be calm. walking up and down the hall in the middle of the night, pushing sweetpea in the snow and pregnant in hopes of getting her to nap at least a little bit. i wish i hadn’t been so stressed by it all. i wish i just kind of went with the flow till she grew out it. boy i made so many mistakes.

anyway the fasting has been great. i feel like i’m getting in a good groove with it and am shooting for 21 days so it’ll start to become a habit. it also feelings awesome to be back at pilates. i’ve missed it so much.

165.6

break: chai, handful of nuts, grapes
dinner: chicken salad sandwich on low carb bread, sautéed zucchini and broccoli
dessert: 3 pieces of dark chocolate, sf cocoa

exercise: 2 dog walks; pilates 1 class

[Amy3010]

I hear you on being glad to be done with babies - until grandkids come along of course! I know what you mean about looking back and wishing you had done things differently with our kids - but we did the best we could with the knowledge and maturity we had at the time, right?

Nice that pilates has started up again! And good going on your fasting!

[Octavia]

i cannot tell you how much i don’t miss having babies. omg, my kids were a lot and i spent so many hours just trying to get them to sleep or be calm. walking up and down the hall in the middle of the night, pushing sweetpea in the snow and pregnant in hopes of getting her to nap at least a little bit. i wish i hadn’t been so stressed by it all. i wish i just kind of went with the flow till she grew out it. boy i made so many mistakes.

I so relate to this! I spent DD’s babyhood wishing it away. I struggled so much. I felt so trapped, exhausted and stressed. I think for many of us, that’s how it is. But we coped, we stuck around, we loved them!

Just popped by to say hi. Hope your summer is going well, Linda. Take care X

[lpearlmom]

hi all, im back for a bit!

was awhile ago i know but thanks octavia & amy for your reponses!

my weight is up a little bit (~5 lbs) and im not sure what to do about it. ive been doing the mindful eating program with michelle may, but am struggling. it’s again not working because im all the time asking if im really hungry. too many choices to make throughout the day. i think i might try mindful eating within the context of NoS. basically paying attention to my hunger & fullness signals while im eating instead if just clearing my plate mindlessly.

things are pretty good at home. everyone is getting along nicely and been having fun. i love seeing sweetpea when she visits and we get along so much better now.

we have had a number of mishaps in a when it rains it pours kind of way —air conditioning leaking, plumbing issues, lost my phone and driver’s license, friend broke a leg, tessa (our elderly dog) passed away, got in a fender bender, a horrible toothache that resulted in having a root canal and then my mom fell while holding glass and cut her artery.

luckily we got through it and everyone is okay. it’s amazing how much i can now tolerate. in the past this would have been too much to navigate, but now im kinda like “okay this sucks but let’s just work in making things better. i even get along with my sister now—big progress. maybe it’s the prozac or maybe ive just mellowed with age.

things are good but id like to get some structure back. thinking about IF too but that didn’t end so well last time. although it may have been due to me pushing myself too hard.

well happy to back & looking forward to catching up on everyones threads.

ate: alot—yogurt, half a bagel, but watermelon, plums, nuts, tofu, crackers, , thin lemon cookies, a protein bar, and a chai of course.

just not a very satisfying way to eat! looking forward to tomorrow!

xoxo

[Sinnie]

Linda, this is so weird because I was literally thinking of No S this weekend, maybe needing to come back for some structure too… and was thinking about YOU and how back in the day your daily 3 meal posting was so inspiring and motivating. And that I needed to do that. I logged on and you’ve posted! It sounds like life, despite all its ups and downs, is leveling out beautifully for you. That is so wonderful to read, I can really feel the peace in your words. I’ll try my best to start here again too…I hate committing bc I usually can’t stick with it. I’ve tried intuitive eating but like you said, I just found it was constant questioning. Anyways, so nice to read your update

[pinkhippie]

Wow!

You have had a lot going on! I am glad you are able to navigate it all, that sounds like a lot to deal with.

It's nice to see you here again! I hope things calm down for you soon.

[ladybird30]

Hi Linda, good that things have settled down again after all that!

I found asking myself whether I was hungry or not throughout the day was not a question I could even give an answer to. However, I have found it a useful adjunct now that I have established a 3 meal pattern.

[lpearlmom]

hi sinnie!
so funny that we both returned at the same time. and interesting that we keep coming back! writing down my daily food always made me feel better. to see it all written down made me realize it was never as bad as i thought.

hippie—thx!

ladybird, that’s exactly what im thinking!

today was good! need to go to sleep but wanted to log my info.

breakfast: banana & sf cocoa
lunch: lobster salad, watermelon, sf chai
dinner: lobster salad, 1/2 bagel, figs, coconut water

exercise: walked dogs (we have another dog now), pilates cardio

weight: 169

[lpearlmom]

was a good & productive day. found out rosebud was accepted with a full ride to NAU. not sure if she wants to go there. i told her if she did take it she could use her college fund for a masters program. we shall see.

breakfast: sf chai
lunch: 1/2 veg burger, grapes, carrots
dinner: yogurt, lara bar, a couple chips w spinach dip, a couple bites of swordfish, & 2 glasses of AF wine (only 20 calories a glass!).

exercise: walked/ran dogs, pilates cardio

weight: 168.6

[lpearlmom]

good day. finally got my car back (long story), got a fair amount done & felt good about my eating.


break: sf cocoa
lunch: 1/2 veg sandwich, plain yogurt w fruits and nuts
dinner: 1 fish taco, 2 handfuls chips w salsa, 1 lemon yogurt
1 glass of good wine (first of the week)

exercise: pilates center& balance, went in the pool

peace out!

[lpearlmom]

back again!

things are good but weight back up after thanksgiving week. need to get back on track so here i am. back to 3 meals (hopefully).

weight: 166

sf chai
grapes & couple handfuls of cashews.
small bowl if rice & orange chicken
few bites of stuffing & turkey
sf cocoa



exercise: pilates 1.5, walked

[ladybird30]

Always happy to hear how you are going Linda.I
I noticed that Reinhard said somewhere that his weight goes up during holidays, but with NoS it comes off again.

[lpearlmom]

thanks lady!! yeah im sure it’ll come off. im already down a bit from yesterday.

tired.

164.6

break: sf cocoa
lunch: sf chai
dinner: scallops w quinoa, granola bar, orange, ramekin of nuts, small yogurt (it all fit on one plate).

exercise: reformer 1.5, walked dogs
today i completed 250 pilates classes!! thats a milestone, i think i get socks.

[ladybird30]

Pretty socks I hope

[lpearlmom]

ladybird, havent gotten them yet but i think they’re toeless pilates socks that say 250 on them.

today was good! pilates, took dogs on long walk, made dinner, watched a movie w hubby. oh & joined the country club today. i asked the guy if we were even allowed in since we’re jewish. i’m so mean.

163.2

breakfast: sf cocoa
lunch: sf chai
dinner: 2 chicken-less sliders, asian tofu salad, small apple, small yogurt w nuts & granola bar.

exercise: pilates cardio, 45 min dog walk.

[Amy3010]

You are doing really well! LOL on the country club! And well done on the Pilates - I had no idea they gave out milestone gifts. Weight Watchers used to do that, too, I had my milestone keychain for a long time until it finally broke a few years ago.

Keep up the great pre-holiday work, Linda!

[Ellis]

Hi, Linda! Did you take a break from no-S or are you following it consistantly?

[lpearlmom]

hi ellis!

ive been doing nos for quite a long time. id have to go back and check how consistently i was but i know i was very consistent the first year which pretty much help build my habits. eventually i lost 40 lbs while doing NoS. then took a break and tried fasting for a year. lost 20 lbs but gained it back but ive kept off the original 40 lbs.

i am trying to lose a few more pounds but mostly doing this for my sanity. when im not doing NoS, i get decision fatigue. trying to decide if i should or shouldn’t eat 100 times a day is not fun. NOS frees me of all that. it’s a beautiful thing.

amy, thanks so much! it’s funny how hard we’ll work for the tiniest rewards.


good day. went to coffee w a friend while my house was getting cleaned. tough day i know

also today is my hundredth day of my cutback (alcohol) journey. i feel so much better both physically and mentally. proud.

163.6

breakfast: sf cocoa
lunch: 2 chais
dinner: 4 chicken wings, salad, banana, yogurt, nuts

exercise: rest day

[ladybird30]

Lol re country club.

Good news on the alcohol front - that is something to be proud of.

[lpearlmom]

thx, ladybird!

oh boy, ive been floundering a bit with the holidays and my weight is up. im back on the horse though. reset!

my goal is 100 days of nos. ill keep restarting till i reach it. im weird i know but i just need goals to keep me motivated.

break: hot cocoa
lunch: chai , 5-6 pieces of sushi
dinner: veggie wrap, hummus, baba ganoush (sp?)
dessert: ice cream, 2 pieces baklava

exercise: none

on 122 days of cutback and feeling great. not even sure if i really enjoy drinking anymore. . going to do dry jan.

[ladybird30]

Hummus, baklava, yum.