Everyday Systems

I hope my title doesn't sound too selfish, but this really is all about me. I have to change my lifestyle for me. I have to put all the work into this because if I don't no one else can do it for me. Also, those of you who responded to my introduction gave me great advice. The common theme is that I need to stop worrying about what other people eat, say, and think. If you eat raw bacon it's none of my business and if I eat a cupcake it's no one else's business. Period! I will not lie, it is going to take some serious work to change my mind and habits to do this, but as someone else pointed out it is very freeing to not care what others think. What I also realized is that it will be just as freeing for me to not worry about what someone else is eating.

Through my many years of diet hopping I have discovered that everyone has a different idea about what he or she thinks is healthy. It all depends on what team your on: low-fat, low-carb, no butter, no wheat, no chicken, no cheese, no potatoes, no fruit, no bacon, no coffee, no eggs, no rice, count your carbs, count your calories, cut your fat, cut your starches, ....UGH... how can anyone navigate this game?

Moderation with a little common sense is the key to food sanity! I hope oolala doesn't mind me using her statement here...it's my new motto.
No S is a reasonable way to negotiate our food-rich environment.

I had my first No S day on Monday and I did really well. Tuesday didn't go so well. I am hoping for a better day today.

Stick to no-s diligently for 6 months and "oh, the places you'll go." For me, success had been about improvement not perfection. Good luck

Day3
Started in a good place but I had trouble with dinner. I kept going back for more. Surprisingly, I did not eat any sweets. That is my usual battle. In my head I kept saying "You can't have a sweet until Saturday" That is weird since I was breaking the No seconds rule.

Day 4
Still a fail. Still didn't have a sweet. Today it was a snacking issue.

Day 5
Finally! I had a great day.

I would suggest a bigger plate?
The first week I did No S, I got a big plate and filled it up. I made sure that the fruit I'd have later in the evening would fit. Then I sat down and LOOKED at it. My husband was amused as well, but didn't comment. It was a reinforcement - this is a LOT of food. It's 7pm, and it's more than sufficient to keep you going until breakfast.
Hell, in developing countries, my dinner plate was all the food some ate in a day, so it truly reinforced the notion that I wasn't going without.

kwerp wrote:I would suggest a bigger plate?
The first week I did No S, I got a big plate and filled it up. I made sure that the fruit I'd have later in the evening would fit. Then I sat down and LOOKED at it. My husband was amused as well, but didn't comment. It was a reinforcement - this is a LOT of food. It's 7pm, and it's more than sufficient to keep you going until breakfast.
Hell, in developing countries, my dinner plate was all the food some ate in a day, so it truly reinforced the notion that I wasn't going without.

I will definitely have to work on getting the plate issue corrected. I am so used to trying to be "good" by eating less (or at least putting less on my plate) only to find myself going back for more.

Definitely agree that piling on your plates in the beginning is important. You have to get the habit down first whatever it takes to do that. You can tweak your plates as much as you want later but NoS is a process, not a quick fix, and you can't really skip steps.

Good luck!

Linda

I can sympathise! Many of us here who have dieted in the past struggle at times with "diethead". It's easy to fall into that trap of serving up "good" small plates and then failing later. Or filling our plates with food we don't actually like, but that is labelled "good", and then feeling deprived and ending up snacking on other things. Keep working at it, and give yourself time. I was a dedicated calorie counter, and it took a while for me to stop mentally tallying up my plates, but I got there eventually. You will too!

Today was my first S-day. I didn't like it. I felt so conflicted inside. I ate too much and I didn't like the feeling. It is typical for me to feel a strong urge to continue to eat once I taste something sweet and of course today was no different. I know I didn't fail as this is an S-day but I just felt like I was sabotaging myself. This morning I almost decided to skip the indulgence but I knew that in the long run that would not help me. I know this is all mental. I never imagined the Sdays would give me the most internal struggle.

So sorry for the struggle. I felt that way last weekend. You're not alone!

Oh boy you're not alone by a long shot! Many of us struggle with S days. It took me several months for them to calm down yet without them, they make sticking to N days very hard so I do think they're important. It's a process but you'll get there!

Linda

Today was much better! I felt so much better about this process! I ate sweet potato pie and it was delicious. I didn't feel any guilt at all.

Yesterday was a fail in the seconds and sweets department. I was feeling a little stressed about my huge To Do List.

I have been walking most days. I try for 1 mile. I hope to increase that each week. It take me about 25 minutes to walk that mile.

ItsMe,

I know you will get through this small rough patch. This is the stuff that creates the self awareness you will use in the future to get over issues with eating- at least that's what I tell myself! Anyway, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

I did have a better day! Yesterday went smoothly. Getting past the 3:00 munchies is hard. I just drink a big ole cup of water and try to do something besides think about it. I am hoping before long I will not even have the munchies at all.

Hi Cindy!
Just wanted to pop in a let you know that I'm rootin' for ya! You are doing great!

Thanks natj, ZippaDee for dropping by to encourage me! It is great to see those little messages of encouragement when I log in after a hard day.

Yesterday was great!

I was thinking about the rhythm of my eating today. Between breakfast and lunch I usually have true legitimate hunger. Between lunch and dinner I have strong cravings/urges to eat, but not real hunger. Has anyone else experienced this? I wonder what my body could be telling me?

Yesterday was fail in a minor way. I grabbed a handful of my children's jellybeans.

Let me tell you what I just did this morning! I purchased ice cream yesterday in anticipation for this Sday. It was all I could think of when I got home. I contemplated just giving in after I ate the jellybeans but I didn't. After spending time with the family I just settled down and went to sleep. But what greeted my mind this morning when I awoke at 5am? That wonderful ice cream....it was all I could think of. This is insane! So I went down to that kitchen and I ate a big bowl full.

Now that I think about it. I think that the issue was not wanting my husband to see me eat it! I know it sounds crazy. But it is true. I knew that I could have waited until later to eat it. I know that eating it for breakfast wasn't even really so terrible. It was the hiding...the shame that was the problem. And it is not like he would have said anything. He may have given me a little look but he never would have said anything. It is me who is worried about it. I actually want to cry now that I think about this. I hate that I woke up thinking about ice cream, I hate that I ate it at 5 am, I hate that I had to eat it in secret, I hate that I even wanted it in the first place, I hate that I purchased it, I should have left it in the store.

In the logical part of my mind I realize how silly this is yet the strong emotions I have right now are very real.

Hi Cindy,
Well, it's good to face and work through those thoughts and feelings. You're seeing the situation from various points of view, and that is a good thing.
Yeah, one bowl of ice cream in the morning on an S day is not a Very Bad Thing, but it seems like you'd actually feel better in many ways to eat a normal breakfast and eat the ice cream at a more socially expected time of day, and that's fine. You'll probably segue towards that with time.
Let the process do it's work and try to relax and observe without judging yourself. It can take time.

Thank your onsoniye for the encouragement. I never imagined this journey to be so emotional for me.

I can't believe I am starting my third week. I haven't had total success but I have been learning a lot. I guess dieting has made me hold on to guilt and self-condemnation. I have to work through that. I wish it could be easier. I wish I could be one of those people who just finds a plans, follows it perfectly, loses weight in record time, and keeps on keeping on. I see this is going to be work for me. Hard work. In the end I will probably be thankful I had to work hard.

I wish I could be one of those people who just finds a plans, follows it perfectly, loses weight in record time, and keeps on keeping on.

Do they really exist? I always thought they were a myth made up by the diet industry

I see this is going to be work for me. Hard work. In the end I will probably be thankful I had to work hard.

And you are going to be so incredibly proud of yourself as well

Good luck this week.

gingerpie wrote:

I wish I could be one of those people who just finds a plans, follows it perfectly, loses weight in record time, and keeps on keeping on.

Do they really exist? I always thought they were a myth made up by the diet industry

I always liked the comment that there are three kinds of people following any eating plan: people who have slipped up, people who are new and haven't slipped up yet, and liars.

It's really inspiring to see you acknowledge and deal with the emotions this is bringing up for you, and keep on moving forward. Good luck with your third week!

Maybe they don't exist? Maybe one or two....those strong type A personalities which I am NOT! I am an all-or-nothing person. I think this is why going through any process is difficult for me. My weakness is to think that if I am not doing it ALL correctly then I have failed. I have to embrace the reality that part of the process is to fail and learn and keep going.

NO QUITTING! (I am yelling at myself here). I have quit so many things because I didn't fight for what I wanted. I let the little stumbles and inconveniences frustrate me. Realizing this fact is keeping me here with No S. I can't tell you how many things in life I have missed because I let temporary frustrations and inconvenience stop me. I don't want health and wellness to be on my list of failed opportunities.


Monday was not so great.

Tuesday was very nice...smooth...hardly a bump at all.

Let's see how today goes.


Again, thank you for stopping by to encourage me. It really does help. It reminds me that there are people who understand and are cheering for me. Cheerleaders are super important!

I relate to what you're saying. I have a difficult time sticking to things too and can be pretty hard on myself about it. But when I really think about it I do stick to things that are really important to me--I graduated college, culinary school, my 16 yr marriage etc. I bet there's things you've stuck to too.

Anyway, one of the reasons I wanted to stick to NoS was to prove to myself I could commit to something and I have for over a year now with a few bumps in the road but I really surprised myself with how disciplined I could be. It's definitely been a big boost to my confidence. Not just losing weight but sticking to something even when it got hard. And now I feel the confidence trickling into other areas of my life.

So that's a long way of saying you can do this even if you've had trouble sticking to stuff in the past!

Good luck,
Linda

No S News:
Wednesday was great.
Thursday didn't go so well.
I am beginning to see an every other day pattern here. I think I will start using the HabitCal so I can have a visual.

I don't feel nearly as anxious about another round of S Days as I did the first two times. That is a good sign.

yes, enjoy your S days - my feelings about them changed very quickly in the first few weeks.

S days definitely get better with time! I don't use habitcal anymore but it definitely helped me in the begining.

Have a great weekend!

Linda

I had a real S Day on Saturday. My husband and I went to a nice restaurant. We really enjoyed being able to eat without the little ones being there. Such a simple thing but much appreciated.

All I kept thinking as I sat looking at the menu was "negotiate". I knew I wanted dessert. They had my favorite pie. First I saw a chicken dish I wanted but it came with rice and I knew that if I ate the rice I would not have room for the pie. I decided to skip the appetizer and the salad. I had a little bread, a small steak, green beans, and pie. I was stuffed in the end but that was okay.

I know this seems silly but I will share anyway. I never order desserts when I am out with my husband so it took a lot of courage to get it. I said right up front "I want that pie". He asked me why. I said "because I really like that kind of pie and I haven't had it in ages." He said nothing else.
It was liberating.

I am so glad that I decided to do No S without weight loss being my immediate goal. I think that if I had begun this plan with the desire to lose weight as quickly as possible I would have given up by now. Knowing that I want to have a healthy relationship with food has kept me on track. I haven't had a consistent string of successful days, but I am okay with that. I am learning how to make choices and trade offs when I eat. I am learning that I don't need to eat every time I am stressed or upset or someone just happens to offer me food.

I want to lose weight but I want to be liberated from the diet mentality more than anything.

Excellent news about the pie - well done! Did you enjoy it?

Awesome! It doesn't seem silly at all to me. I can remember going through something similar w DH when I first started NoS. it was especially hard for me on the weekends when DH didn't want dessert but of course I wanted my S day treat. Now he just thinks of it as how I eat and of course he can see it's all very moderate/sane so there's no concerns.

You're doing fantastic & should be super proud.

Linda

lpearl, I really am looking forward to the day that DH sees the way I eat as perfectly normal.


I have only had one green day this week but I don't count that as a total failure. I have noticed that when I eat the sweet or the snack I stop eating after a few bites. In the past one bite would lead to a full on binge. This week I have not had one binge. I just ate the food and then went on to something else. I even had a few occasions at work when I passed on the dessert items. I didn't have that feeling like I was missing something or I just NEEDED to have it. I watched others eat it and it didn't even interest me. I am super happy about that. In that past I would have thought about that dessert all day.

I do want to have a nice string of greens on my habit cal so that will be my goal next week.



This has been a stressful week. We have a new administrator at work. He has a lot of expectations. I think 90% of the staff feels overwhelmed. That is probably why I have only 1 green day for the week so far. I will try to make tomorrow green.

Congratulations on your progress! I love the HabitCal and find it very motivating.

Hopefully today was a better day at work for you!

I really had a temptation yesterday at work. I didn't bring enough lunch and I was still hungry after I ate. I had access to a huge variety of candy. This is what transpire d in my mind:

I am so hungry...I should just have a 1 or 2 pieces
No you can wait
But I am hungry. I will choose something with nuts inside.
No you can wait. It is just a little hunger.
It looks so good. I know it will taste good
No you can wait. It is just a little hunger.
If I eat one piece I will keep on eating. I will not be able to stop. I will feel terrible. I think I will just wait it out until I get home and eat dinner.

Whew....

Wow well done!

Awesome!

I had a very stressful day today after work. My 5 year old wandered off from his teachers. I was extremely angry about how it was handled. Needless to say my emotions were in overdrive. Someone who had no idea what was bubbling inside of me offered me some candy...he just happened to have it. I said "No"...... I can't believe it. I said "No".

I haven't been on the scale and my clothes don't feel much different but I am so thrilled that food is having less and less of a hold on me. I know I am in the beginning stages right now but just the thought of living life without being enslaved to food makes me giddy!

Well done! Once you're into the No S habit an offer of candy when you're upset looks almost ridiculous, doesn't it!

Well done!

So scary--I'd be upset too! Great job on staying on track w/ NoS even in the midst of all that stress!

Linda

Another week done. Overall I am pleased with my progress. I thought about getting on the scale but I decided it wouldn't be worth it. I don't want to make my focus weight loss. So for now I will avoid the scale. My clothes aren't fitting much differently anyway so I would probably be disappointed.

I will say I am struggling with the exercise. I just can't get it going consistently. Now that school is back in session I have a super full plate. I am trying not to let work be my excuse but I really don't feel motivated.

Any tips for this?

I am still on the No S path. I have been so busy that I haven't been able to post.

I still haven't had a completely green week yet, but a few things have changed.

1. Sweets don't have the same attraction for me anymore. I have had candy on some S days and they just aren't so enjoyable anymore. Last Saturday I didn't even think about having a sweet. It was almost bedtime before I realized I could have had a sweet.

2. I still don't know my weight but my pants are fitting loser. Not dramatic but they are definitely not as tight in the waist.

3. I have realized that I don't really need a big dinner. My appetite is much stronger in the daytime.

These are all good signs I hope.

Still not exercising consistently. Must figure out something for that.

I could have sworn I posted something on your thread saying I'm flattered that a quip of mine might help someone. No S still IS a great way to stem the tide of food. Even almost six years in, I have that idea come up almost every day- because almost every day, there's such exposure to available food!

I hope no news is good news, but if not, don't panic! You can be failing and still learning even if not losing. I actually wasn't sure I"d lose, but I did, having several weights stabilize for long periods before things changed again.

But it's the weekend! No obligation to go hog wild, but no reason not to have a few extras over the course of the two days.

Hope to see you again.