The Dailiness of Kwag
Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:51 pm
I pondered whether or not to do the daily check-in thing and decided it couldn't hurt...and it might help. I already did a post in the General Discussion forum about how my first five N days went, so I'll just pick up here where I left off. I have a feeling the posts here are going to be very stream of consciousness--sort of talking to my own self inside my head but then posted for all to see.
Yesterday was my first S day, and I attended a wedding as well as navigated my way through the evening with my husband's side of the family. It was an absolutely glorious and heart felt ceremony--probably one of the best weddings I've ever attended. On the way to the reception I had a conversation with myself about how I was going to enjoy it and not have pressure inside surrounding the food. I also reminded myself that my S day mantra was: "Don't be an idiot." Well, it was more difficult than I thought it was going to be. The main thing I noticed was how, in my mind, I kept labeling the food upon the table as either "good" or "bad" even though I had already given myself Official Permission to eat anything I truly desired. I kept thinking about my LFV (lowfatvegan) days and how the only thing that would've been acceptable was the fresh fruit and raw veggies sans dip. I tried to delight in taking whatever looked appealing to me, but I'll admit there was some anxiety involved. I did, however, enjoy the taste of everything--even though I was wondering if all the cheesiness was going to cause problems later. The cake was fantastic!
Then at dinner there was more cheese to contend with--I don't know why I have such a fear of cheese. The deal at Jim's sister's house was an authentic New Mexican Mexican Food Buffet with chicken green chile enchiladas and tamales and posole, etc. I almost took a frozen Amy's Bean Burrito, but I decided to go and choose from what was there and just eat and enjoy the evening. I did enjoy the food while I was eating it--I also had a sampling of sweets--the kind of stuff that is only offered up this time of year. By the time I got home last night I was feeling bloaty and kind of headachey and definitely out of sorts with my body. I took note of this, and I made a firm resolve NOT to stick my finger down my throat.
Woke up this morning with a mild food hangover. I decided what I really wanted for breakfast was my standard bowl of oatmeal with a smashed banana, so that's exactly what I had. Met a friend at Barnes & Noble--in between errands--to wish her a Happy Birthday. I'm not a regular coffee drinker, but I decided to have a Gingerbread Latte. She got a Peppermint Latte and a Cranberry Orange Scone. I think they must have forgotten to put the gingerbready spices in my latte because it just tasted like a regular cup of coffee with whipped cream to me. I had a few bites of Anna's scone. For lunch I decided what I really wanted was a regular ol' turkey sandwich (something I eat all the time on N days...), so that's exactly what I had.
It was then time to make a list and go to the grocery store. This is where things got a little dicey. I could not make up my mind what to have to eat this week. I s-t-i-l-l find myself thinking in terms of food that would've been acceptable in my LFV days. I sat and thought about ALL the options I had for a really long time, and then I finally realized that I happen to honestly enjoy a lot of things I ate on that other plan--they have become what's familiar to me--I know I won't feel icky or have any physical side effects if I eat them--and they are pleasing and satisfying to me. I decided it was perfectly okay to keep eating them...even while I might also throw in something that never would've been "allowed" before. My compromise was to buy ingredients to make chili (I had to talk myself into buying ground beef instead of ground turkey, though...) along with my standby stuff. It was an interesting experience, and we'll see how I handle the food this week.
I have really come to understand that one S I want every single day when it comes to food is: S-implicity. I am not a gourmet--I am completely satisfied eating simple things like soup (I adore all kinds of homemade soup--many just happen to be vegetarian), salad and sandwiches. I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what to cook or shopping for the ingredients or preparing it or cleaning up after it. However, I do want to eat stuff that tastes good to me.
I don't feel hungry even though the clock says it's time for dinner. I think I'll wait until I get a physical cue to eat...not sure whether I'll fix the salad and garlic bread I planned to have or not. I do see a chocolate cherry scone in my future, though.
Tonight I will put a *on my calendar.
Yesterday was my first S day, and I attended a wedding as well as navigated my way through the evening with my husband's side of the family. It was an absolutely glorious and heart felt ceremony--probably one of the best weddings I've ever attended. On the way to the reception I had a conversation with myself about how I was going to enjoy it and not have pressure inside surrounding the food. I also reminded myself that my S day mantra was: "Don't be an idiot." Well, it was more difficult than I thought it was going to be. The main thing I noticed was how, in my mind, I kept labeling the food upon the table as either "good" or "bad" even though I had already given myself Official Permission to eat anything I truly desired. I kept thinking about my LFV (lowfatvegan) days and how the only thing that would've been acceptable was the fresh fruit and raw veggies sans dip. I tried to delight in taking whatever looked appealing to me, but I'll admit there was some anxiety involved. I did, however, enjoy the taste of everything--even though I was wondering if all the cheesiness was going to cause problems later. The cake was fantastic!
Then at dinner there was more cheese to contend with--I don't know why I have such a fear of cheese. The deal at Jim's sister's house was an authentic New Mexican Mexican Food Buffet with chicken green chile enchiladas and tamales and posole, etc. I almost took a frozen Amy's Bean Burrito, but I decided to go and choose from what was there and just eat and enjoy the evening. I did enjoy the food while I was eating it--I also had a sampling of sweets--the kind of stuff that is only offered up this time of year. By the time I got home last night I was feeling bloaty and kind of headachey and definitely out of sorts with my body. I took note of this, and I made a firm resolve NOT to stick my finger down my throat.
Woke up this morning with a mild food hangover. I decided what I really wanted for breakfast was my standard bowl of oatmeal with a smashed banana, so that's exactly what I had. Met a friend at Barnes & Noble--in between errands--to wish her a Happy Birthday. I'm not a regular coffee drinker, but I decided to have a Gingerbread Latte. She got a Peppermint Latte and a Cranberry Orange Scone. I think they must have forgotten to put the gingerbready spices in my latte because it just tasted like a regular cup of coffee with whipped cream to me. I had a few bites of Anna's scone. For lunch I decided what I really wanted was a regular ol' turkey sandwich (something I eat all the time on N days...), so that's exactly what I had.
It was then time to make a list and go to the grocery store. This is where things got a little dicey. I could not make up my mind what to have to eat this week. I s-t-i-l-l find myself thinking in terms of food that would've been acceptable in my LFV days. I sat and thought about ALL the options I had for a really long time, and then I finally realized that I happen to honestly enjoy a lot of things I ate on that other plan--they have become what's familiar to me--I know I won't feel icky or have any physical side effects if I eat them--and they are pleasing and satisfying to me. I decided it was perfectly okay to keep eating them...even while I might also throw in something that never would've been "allowed" before. My compromise was to buy ingredients to make chili (I had to talk myself into buying ground beef instead of ground turkey, though...) along with my standby stuff. It was an interesting experience, and we'll see how I handle the food this week.
I have really come to understand that one S I want every single day when it comes to food is: S-implicity. I am not a gourmet--I am completely satisfied eating simple things like soup (I adore all kinds of homemade soup--many just happen to be vegetarian), salad and sandwiches. I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what to cook or shopping for the ingredients or preparing it or cleaning up after it. However, I do want to eat stuff that tastes good to me.
I don't feel hungry even though the clock says it's time for dinner. I think I'll wait until I get a physical cue to eat...not sure whether I'll fix the salad and garlic bread I planned to have or not. I do see a chocolate cherry scone in my future, though.
Tonight I will put a *on my calendar.