Daily check in for Charis

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri May 25, 2007 3:09 am

Yeah tonight completes my first week successfully! I'm off to bed.

Days 1-7 Success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri May 25, 2007 11:23 pm

The day is not over but I am very excited that I have stayed on track so far. Today I prepared homemade pizza for my 14 year old son and 5 of his friends, my 17 year old daughter and her friend and my 10 year old daughter and her friend. I did not snitch any cheese as I grated a huge block, I did not sample any of the ingredients as I prepared them (something I would do before almost to the extent that I wouldn't be hungry by the time the meal was ready. Also I served everyone ice cream sundaes and was able to resist the temptation. It will taste better to me tomorrow. Thanks for letting me share. Here's hoping the rest of the evening goes just as well

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat May 26, 2007 2:43 pm

Day 8 success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon May 28, 2007 3:21 pm

Days 9 and 10 were S days - success
I thought that Saturday was a better day as I enjoyed the times I deviated, Sunday seemed a little more out of control and not as satisfying but not terrible either. I am uncertain about what I will do today (maybe not a good thing). I think I may be able to get through today as a nsd, but I want to reserve the final decision until I see what the day will hold. In any case if is ends up being an s day, it will only be for dinner. I am actually looking forward to the return of the routine.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed May 30, 2007 1:15 am

Day 11 (Memorial Day) ended up being an S day because of some grasshopper cookies, but besides that it was a pretty good day. So day 11 is a success. So far so good today.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed May 30, 2007 12:17 pm

Day 12 success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:05 am

May 30th day 13 was a success. I cooked a roast in the crock pot and the smell nearly drove me crazy, but I made it through the day. My youngest two children finish school this week and I am worried about the increased exposure to food. I wish I had a few more weeks to really internalize this system into a solid habit.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:24 pm

May 31

Day 14 success Friday is the last day of school for my youngest 2. I think the temptations will be bigger with them home all day. We will see.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 1:04 pm

June 1st

Day 15 Success

I finally got a little exercise in today and lots of house cleaning

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:12 pm

June 2 & 3 the weekend - S-days

Days 16 & 17 Successes

My son had a soccer tournament so I was out of the house quite a bit, they hadn't won a game all season (new coach, new style of play), but they finally clicked in this weekend and won the tournament so I was out and about more than I expected. I have to have a dessert for the same son's junior high graduation tonight - I thought that maybe I couldn't handle preparing something from scratch so I went out and bought something. That is a victory for me. I did have a 1 scoop of light ice cream just before bed because I panicked at the thought of not being able to have any for 5 days. Hopefully the longer I do this the less I will have this feeling.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:42 am

June 4th - Today was my son's graduation and party so I decided to take an S day

Day 18th Success

want2bhealthy · Post by **want2bhealthy** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 10:10 pm

hey you are doing great. you are almost at the 21 day, mark. good for you. i tried to do the 21 day thing but the way my brain works , it was to much pressure for me. so i just take it one day at a time and that is better for me. way to go.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:58 pm

Thanks for the encouragement wanttobehealthy. I am really shooting for my completion of my first 21 days. My S days still need some work and I am sometimes pretty hungry still on my nosdays, but I have faith that if I am consistent it will get better. I have a lot of weight to lose also and how I wish I had known of this system years ago, but I can't change where I am now only what I will do with the day ahead of me.

June 5th, Day 19 success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:13 pm

June 6th Day 20 Success

So far I have had about 2 days of nos days with my kids home for the summer and it has gone okay so far. I am thankful but vigilant. They all seem to eat on a different schedule depending on when they get up so that is difficult, but I really want to succeed.

want2bhealthy · Post by **want2bhealthy** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:53 pm

you are doing awesome charis. i was hungry too on my no s days, sometimes i still am, but i ignore the hunger pangs, because it feels good sometimes to not have that full over stuffed feeling. it really feels good to be in control and say , alright my stomach is growling but i know i had enough to eat, so no food. then just keep busy and not even think about food till the next meal. it is working for me and it feels great. keep up th e good work.

you are almost there!!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:33 am

Thanks want2behealthy for the encouragement. Your are right it does feel good sometimes to not indulge the hunger pains between meals. I talked to my counselor today (I started counseling in Feb partly because I was obsessed with my weight and it was taking over my life and constantly on my mind - and since I was so unsuccessful at taking and keeping off the weight I felt more and more depressed) and told him about nosdiet. He gave his approval for me to continue and thought it had enough appropriate boundaries and discipline yet not full of deprivation He said the process of losing weight might be slow but I should continue to follow the plan. He especially liked that it releases a lot of the obsession I have had about food and the resulting guilt and the eating out of guilt. Plus if I am following nos then I can't turn to food everytime something painful or stressful comes up in my life (I guess unless it happens on an s day). Nos has helped to see just how often I had been turning to food instead of dealing with my life. I think that even though this path might be longer than other plans for eating, I think this is the path that has the greatest potential for freedom. Have a good day

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:57 pm

Yeah, I made it to 21 days. I can't say that I have totally internalized nos and have the habits in place, but I feel like I am making a good start. After 20 years of yoyo (mostly up yo) I don't expect to turn it around in the first 3 weeks. So I will continue on working towards my next 21 days

June 7th
Day 21 success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:24 pm

Friday

Day 1 (2nd time around) success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:23 pm

Saturday and Sunday

Days 2 & 3 (2nd time) successes

I would say that Sunday tended more to the idiot side of things, so I am glad to see Monday roll around. So far today as gone pretty well.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:19 pm

Monday

Day 4 success I was pretty hungry in the evening and went to bed with a headache. Maybe it is just hard for me right now to transition back to a nos day after I feel I have abused an S day. Hopefully it will be more motivation for me to keep my S days much more in control. I need to definitely come up with a little more structure on those days.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:36 pm

Tuesday

Day 5 success It was a much easier day for me to follow nos. I even served an evening snack to group of friends in my home last night and I was not even tempted. I am not sure if this would have been classified as a failure, but I almost ate 3 small peas from our garden when my husband offered them. I remembered in time, but the first 3 peas from our garden might have been a good exception

Wednesday is my husband and I's 20th wedding anniversary. So far I have maintained a nos schedule. That is my goal for the day, but our reservations are a little later than I am use to waiting for dinner, so I am open to a small snack if hunger becomes an overwhelming obsession. I don't think we will have anything sweet as dinner is usually filling enough. However we are planning another outing later in the week and if it ends up being Friday instead of the weekend, I may take an S day then. We enjoy going out for frozen yogurt together.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:03 pm

Wednesday - it was our 20th wedding anniversary and there is no way that what I ate would be consisdered one plate so because I had seconds and since it was a special day I counted it as an S day. The good news is that I did not deter from nos until dinner. Sometimes I am apt to view special days as reasons to eat all day long where really the special part was this fabulous meal we had at dinner

Day 6 S day success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:13 pm

Thursday

Day 7 success I almost ate in between meals, absentmindly but caught myself at the last moment and gave my bite to the dog.

want2bhealthy · Post by **want2bhealthy** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:07 am

i see you improving so much and overcoming obstacles all the time. you are doing awesome. keep it up. the first time i ever tried this, i did make it 21 days and thought i was "cured" of my bad eating habits. wrong!! just continue, move on and do what you are doing. cause like me, we are "still learning" we are not perfect. we cant quit. we both know what the consequences of that are.

you are taking the reality of life's situations and trying to incorporate the no s plan into them as best you can, i am doing the same thing. we will succeed.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:24 pm

You are so right want2behealthy, I know that I will not be cured after 21 days when I have struggled with food issues to some degree most of my life. Therefore I think a lot of patience, appropriate boundaries, perseverance and grace are needed. I am still trying to figure out the weekends. I will start this weekend allowing myself 5 times to break the usual boundaries. It may be too many, but I didn't want to be too restrictive too soon. If I find that I still feel this is too much excess I will cut it down by one next weekend until I find a good balance.

Friday

Day 8 Success I did feel that I overate at dinner last night, but did well not eating before going out to dinner. A definite problem when I am hungry and I am fixing a meal for my children. So easy to snack. Just think how many calories I was consuming just grazing through dinner preparations.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:10 pm

Day 9 & 10 (S days) successes

This weekend was so much better than last weekend. There was no grazing, and no 3rds and 4ths. Still have progress to make, but it is a learning process.

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:34 pm

All of life is a learning process!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:37 pm

Monday

Day 11 Success The transition back to nos from the weekend was pretty easy this time - no headache. I did have a cup of coffee in the evening to help me to deal with the hunger, but I consider that a success. Of course that is probably also the reason I was awake at 3 this morning

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:17 pm

Tuesday

Day 12 Success I almost ate seconds at dinner last night. I really wanted to have another of the wraps we were having and some more potato chips (bbq maple - yummy). I tried to rationalize that it would have all fit on a heaping plate. I even took two more potato chips, but I knew it was a violation and that first potato chip just did not taste as good as the rest, so I put the other one back. Then I actually got up and went to grap another 1/2 of the wrap, but realized what I would be doing and put it down and walked away. I was so happy. I actually breezed through the rest of the night, so didn't really need it afterall.

I am leaving for a conference today and will be gone until late Sunday. I am not sure I will have internet access so you may not hear from me for awhile. It is my goal to not take any additional s days and to not be an idiot on the weekend.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:56 pm

I'm back after my long weekend away.

Wednesday, Day 13 success I was happy about this as sometimes when I travel I think that every stop for gas is a good reason to grab a piece of candy

Thursday, Day 14 Success This was also a great day, since I was on my own traveling and didn't "celebrate" this fact with food. Also it was a stressful day as I was being critiqued on several aspects of my work and still didn't soothe my hurt feelings with food

Friday, Day 15 Success This was also a good day. I saved the m&m's that came in my box lunch from the conference for the next day and didn't "celebrate" being on my own with food. I don't know why I have learned to associate eating sweets with being on my own - but it is definitely an emotional connection that still cries out in me to be fed. I was much happier this day as the conference got better (ie my critiques got a little more positive) and I checked out of the dorm where I was placed in a small room in an upper bunk and went to the Country Inn and Suites. Very nice and did wonders for my mood. I was still very tempted to celebrate with food, but I just worked on my projects and watched HGTV until bed.

Saturday & Sunday, Days 16 & 17 Successes I did feel like I indulged the "celebration" mode a little too much. Definitely an area to work on - but it wasn't too bad. I did eat my bag of m&m's as part of breakfast.

Now I am back home, in the midst of a home improvement project trying to get back into the No s day routine. So far so good. I am hoping for a good transition. That has always been almost impossible for me to do before this. Once I would get off track or go on vacation or any change in routine it has always been an excuse to keep eating. I am hoping that with nos I will extinguish that behavior.

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:42 pm

You're really close to 21 days!

ClickBeetle · Post by **ClickBeetle** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:25 pm

Congrats on all your no-S days, Charis! It sounds like you have been making some tough but awesome-feeling changes. I liked the part where you gave your bite to the dog.

Keep that sense of humor and you should do great! and by the way, congratulations on your 20th wedding anniversary -- that is a very "S"pecial day indeed.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jun 26, 2007 12:52 pm

Thanks Clickbeetle, I have had a sense that I am making some good food changes. I hope that some day in the future they will be automatic and I won't even think about it.

Day 18 Success Mondays are always hard for me. I had a little bit more at lunch than normal to get me over what I think is more mental than physical. I left the dinner table starving (maybe real, maybe perceived) and didn't know how I was going to make it. I was already planning a glass of milk, but my daughter and I went to the gym and she wanted to stay for 2 hours so I exercised for almost all of that time. It was a good thing that the Home and Garden tv network had some of my favorite shows on. I am a little stiff now, but at least I got back into what I hope will be a better string of exercise days.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:09 pm

Tuesday

Day 19 Success I managed to resist the strawberry shortcake served at an evening meeting I attended. I had fast food for lunch and I have decided to for go that for the time being. I just think that it could be a bad habit to get into and it definitely won't help me in the long run to lose weight.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:38 am

Wednesday

Day 20 (round 2) Success I had to really fight through hunger after dinner tonight. I was having hunger pains very soon after I finished dinner (whole wheat spaghtetti, sauce, turkey meatballs, roll and salad - it should have been enough) and all the rest of the evening. It never relented and I thought I would have to have a glass of milk or something, but got distracted baking a cake for my daughter's birthday party that I forgot about it until I was in bed. I honestly didn't think I could ever bake a cake while so hungry and still not eat anything. I love this plan because eating randomly just isn't an option provided.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:32 pm

Thursday - We celebrated my youngest child's birthday. I took it as an S day in the evening. I was really happy with how it went. She had a sleepover with 5 of her friends. My husband made a fire in the fire pit and we roasted hot dogs and smores. I enjoyed the smores. I passed on the birthday cake and ice cream. It wasn't even a temptation to me to have any. The smores was sweet enough and I just didn't need or want anything else that was sweet. I know in the past I would have easily had both. And it shows me that an "S" day can be good and controlled at the same time. I didn't feel deprived when I passed up the cake - I guess since it was an "S" day I could have had some, which makes passing on the cake even better for me.

Anyway this was day 21 on my second time through, so we will count it a success

ClickBeetle · Post by **ClickBeetle** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:49 pm

YAAAAAY Charis!!! Congratulations on another SUCCESSFUL 21 days!

want2bhealthy · Post by **want2bhealthy** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:53 am

just wanted to thank you for still thinking i can do this and not wanting me to quit. , you are doing so awesome and i want to come on in here and read all about you. if you read my daily check in today , i have been feeling pretty down. so i just want to turn in and start fresh. thanks again.

want2bhealthy · Post by **want2bhealthy** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:57 am

i only read your post about the cake you baked when you were hungry. i want to be able to do that, i admire that, i thought i was there. but i am working on it. great job!! great control!!! way to go!!!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:19 pm

Friday success I almost had a failure so easy to do when I have come to the end of another 21 days and can rationalize that I have nothing to lose, but I recovered better than I would have in the past

Saturday & Sunday s days success Sunday wasn't great but they were s days

So I guess those are days 1 -3 on my third go around.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:08 pm

Monday, day 4 success

Tuesday, day 5 success

While these days were tecnically successes, I think I need to be tighter on some of these meals. I have virtually plated a couple and filled the plate a little higher than reasonable - pure greed and not had enough vegetables taking up the plate. So I am going to try to really balance some of that out and make a conscious effort to cut back. Weight loss has come to a stand point and I do want to continue to make progress.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:54 am

Wednesday 4th of July declared an S day - it wasn't a great day foodwise. I definitely need to tighten and work on these s days

Thursday day 7 Success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:19 pm

Friday Success I felt I overate at dinner. I knew as I was eating the last piece of my sandwich that I should stop but the old thought of this is all I get for the day trumped over my good sense. I am looking forward to the day when my good sense trumps over my greed. The rest of the day was good though and I was not tempted to snack between meals much at all. I was a little sad when my family was eating ice cream, but I reminded myself that Saturday was just around the corner and I could have it then. It is a success for me so far on this S day that I have not had the above mentioned treat yet. I am really working on making my S days much more sane. I am tired of being an idiot and am really hoping to see the scale drop this next week. On the postitive side I did exercise last night - something that has not happened enough lately as evidenced by my habitcal.
Have a nice weekend everyone.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:20 pm

Day 9, Saturday success it was a good S day and I did exercise in the evening

Day 10 Sunday success technically because there can not be failures on s days, but it was not a good day eating wise. I seemed to be eating all day and had a lot of chocolate cake and ice cream. The only success I can count is breakfast and before bed when I did not give into the temptation to have one more bowl of ice cream before starting another week of nos. I suppose that is something.

Monday - I am on track today despite feeling pretty hot and miserable and generally frustrated by some circumstances in my life and worried about another - but none of the situations will be helped by food (although there is still part of me that feels that I would be less frustrated if I just ate something chocolate or sweet or maybe another bowl of ice cream) but food is not my true friend. Hopefully I can continue to have a successful day. I had a really wonderful salad today for lunch. It was so delicious.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:38 pm

Monday - I am still deciding if what I had was a success or failure. Technically it was a failure and I will probably count it as such but for me it was definitely a success. At dinner after I had finished eating my plate of food I took a couple extra pieces of very thin strips of steak that we had as part of a salad. I knew that I had just had seconds and was going to have to log a failure. However I didn't want that to be an excuse to also have a bowl of ice cream (or whatever else I could find) and make it a gigantic failure - so I told myself that I could still count it as a success if I abstained for the rest of the evening which I did do. That is really huge for me, because I have usually almost always succumbed to the idiotic thinking that once a day is ruined diet wise anything might as well go until I can restart the next day. I am really happy that I did not continue the slide into major binge. I am along way until I have resolved my food issues but grateful for each minor victory along the way.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:16 am

Tuesday - success I recovered nicely from my small failure yesterday and had a pretty easy day to stay on track. Late this afternoon I went to catch a friend who had come to my door, but I hadn't immediately heard him and when I did he was walking away. So I stepped out to get his attention and forgot that we did not have a front step (doing some remodeling on our home and had just bumped out our front door 3 feet). Anyway the net effect was that I feel 2 feet and severely sprained my ankle, so I am laid up for the next few days. I am undecided if I should go and have it looked at, probably will see how I feel tomorrow. So exercise and even most walking is out for awhile. Our family is preparing to leave for a business trip to Colorado for 2 weeks, so the timing is not that great. There are errands to run and laundry to wash and packing to do and having a sore, painful ankle will definitely be a major frustration the next few days.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:24 am

Wednesday Day 2 was a success. I have battled a little more with food today. This morning as I was having to rest from my sprained ankle I had this thought that I should be able to have a treat (read chocolate, ice cream some kind of sugary treat). I don't know where it came from but the thought was pretty strong. I had to remind myself that I don't engage in those behaviors anymore. I passed that temptation but it struck again after dinner where I always use to have a bowl of ice cream or some other dessert in excess after dinner. I have stayed out of the kitchen and now it is almost bedtime so I have weathered this temptation. I have one long day tomorrow as I prepare to leave with my family for a conference in Colorado. Hopefully I will be able to get around better tomorrow.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:28 am

Thursday Day 3 success (I am changing my success color just because I like blue) The day is not over but I am leaving tomorrow for Colorado and don't know when I will have time to post again.

I did struggle again for the need to snack and I think it is because of all of the stress that comes with trying to finish up some remodeling/household things and packing for this trip . In the past I always used chocolate or ice cream to get me through the stress. I just keep telling myself that I don't eat like that anymore, I don't eat like that anymore until I believe it and the feeling passes. It worked today and I am thankful.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:14 pm

Friday Day 4 Success This was a good success for me because we traveled from our home to Colorado over the course of 16 hours. Something about car trips seems to make me think that I am in some magical car where anything eaten there has no calorie impact. Okay I never believed that but I ate like it. This trip however I did not engage in any snacking Yeah Me!

We are staying in the dorms for our conference and eating in the cafeteria. I can not tell you how happy I am that I am starting on an S day. After 2 S days hopefully I will settle down and be less impressed with the abundance of food and all of the desserts. Lets hope so anyway!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:49 pm

Day 5, Saturday success
Day 6, Sunday success

Day 7, Monday success This eating in the cafeteria is a lot harder than I hoped it would be. I have done pretty well. Monday at dinner I was faced with a multitude of desserts since my oldest daughter picked the table right next to the dessert tables. I was just about to cave when my son offered my a small bit of his chocolate cake. One spoonful of chocolate frosting and I was fine. I know that it is technically not allowed but I also know that the one bite saved me a multitude of calories and a total cave in to a dessert binge so I am counting the day as a success.

So far today, Tuesday, I have again faced enourmous food temptations. I am trying desperately to hold on to my sane way of eating.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:56 am

Day 8 success once I made it passed lunch and its many temptations I was fine the rest of the day. My ankle still is very sore, so no exercise yet, though there is alot of walking back and forth from things - okay not a lot of walking for a healthy person with 2 good ankles, but alot for me and I think it is inhibiting my ankle from healing sooner.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:50 am

Wednesday, unfortunately this was a failure as I was eating my boxed lunch that was provided for me and ate the brownie that came with it.

But I was back on track for Thursday which I guess is again day 1, success

Friday was an S day as it was a special party commemorating over 15 years with the same organization. However I am happy to say that even though I knew this was going to be an s day all day long - I waited until the party that evening to start having the sweets and snacks. This is a huge improvement for me. And continuing that theme, this weekend has been another time where I have not participated in the continual eating that has sometimes been the down fall of my weekends. I am even learning that I need much less food especially if I want to have that special dessert. I can no longer just add that to my usual size meal. I will take progress where I can find it.

I have a few more days of the conference left and then I will be back home. Tranisitioning from one routine or nonroutine to another has always been an excuse for me to binge, graze and snack and overeat. I desperately want to change that behavior.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:34 pm

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were days 2-4 S days and therefore successes by default

Monday was a successful nos day. I was given a candy bar which I will save for an s day. Day 5 success. Still have a lot of pain in my ankle. It is taking awhile for the ligaments to heal. No time to hardly rest it at this conference. I guess I will rehab when I return home this Friday! I will be happy to be home but will miss the wonderful friends I have here.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 3:48 am

Tuesday

Day 6 success The dessert tables were loaded but I passed them by. While some of my fellow conferees are complaining about eating so much I find that I am growing use to the abundance of food and pulling back and not eating so much. I realize that I am getting full on lesser amounts of food. I am not saying that I am going to go home and find that I have lost weight here, only that greed does not seem to have as strong of hold on me as it once did - at least under these conditions. I am sure it will rear its ugly head somewhere down the road.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:36 pm

Wednesday was a special S day as it was the last day of the conference and a big party was planned, but in the end I probably could have got by without it.

Thursday was a travel home day 16 hours on the road so we returned about 1 am this morning. Despite the longer day I stuck to nos and passed by that coveted frosty from Wendy's at dinner last night. It was great if a little early to wake up in my own bed this morning

So this would be days 7 and 8 successes

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 3:36 am

Friday, day 9 success It hasn't been too hard to get back into the nos routine though partly that was because I know that the weekend is coming and there will be ice cream, which my family enjoyed tonight. Today I was grocery shopping while hungry (I know very dangerous) and while I came home with one or two many different kinds of ice cream, nothing else in the sweet category sounded even remotely tempting. I can not tell you the times that I have in years past gone to the grocery store being hungry and have loaded up on all kinds of things chocolate - really to the point that I should have been very embarrassed. I am so thankful that I am seeing real change in my behavior.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:58 pm

Wow!! Excellent stuff Charis!
Sweets sound like they are your biggest tempation and you are getting a great handle on em!!
Walking right past them??
Awesome!!
Hats off to you!
Keep it up and you will see weight loss down the road.

Peace and Love,

Debs

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:48 pm

Thanks for the encouragement Debs. You do such a great job encouraging others by your words and example. Congrts on your loss of 9 lbs.

Sat and Sun were days 9 & 10, S days so Successes

Monday, day 11, was also a success. I really tried to cut back on my food intake today and will continue to try this week. My ankle is still swollen and a little sore, sometimes more than others. Maybe I will have to have it checked out. But with little exercise I surely should be able to do with less food. Of course it is the emotional aspects of food that can really get me. I was reading about the effect of moods on addictive behavior. One of the differences between a healthy person's relationship with their moods and one who is susceptible to addictive behaviors, like with food, is that the healthy person is able to see that their negative mood will pass and the addictive person can feel like their negative mood will be with them forever thus they try to extinguish the pain of the mood with something that is initially pleasurable. This week I am really trying to remember to look at any negative moods that come my way with a little more distance and thus perspective and remind myself that the negative mood will pass and that food will not ultimately help me anyway. I am so thankful for the gift of nos that has helped me examine not just how much I eat but why I have had such an unhealthy relationship with food for almost 3 decades.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:34 pm

Tuesday, day 12 success I didn't finish all of my dinner because I realized I was full. A habit I hope I can continue as by now I should realize that another meal is right around the corner and I can wait. My ankle feels a little better so I am looking forward to restarting some exercise next Monday, unless I can think of some form of exercise that won't stress the ankle prematurely.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:58 pm

Wednesday, day 13, was a success am having to fight hunger in the evening again. I am trying to cut back on portions to make them a little more reasonable and conducive to losing some weight as it seems to be stuck

Thursday, day 14, a success again struggled with hunger in the evening and a headache. I just went to bed. I have noticed that when I am anxious or experiencing some other negative emotion that I use to kill with food I am now seeking other ways to escape the pain. This may sound like a negative thing, but I am thankful the behavior is surfacing. I am trying to learn to deal with these neg emotions in healthier ways - even though I am still trying to figure out exactly what that may be.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Aug 04, 2007 3:35 am

Friday, day 15, success I am truly surprised and please by how little I have the desire to snack. Grazing use to be such a constant thing for me. Tonight my husband offered me a brownie before dinner and I turned it down without out having to fight any temptation. Amazing. It is my sincere desire to have a sane weekend. I have some light heavenly hash ice cream in the freezer that is calling my name. Ice cream about the only thing in the sweet category that I still crave. I am sure there must be ice cream in heaven!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 1:14 pm

Saturday and Sunday, Days 16 & 17, successes by definition, Most of the weekend was great. I kind of fell apart at the last grabbing a late night snack I think because I could and soon I wouldn't be able to. It could also be because my dinner was composed soley on ice cream

Maybe I was craving some protein. I had some deli turkey wrapped around a piece of cheese - so it wasn't a full blown binge. I guess that is progress. Actually as I look back at the weekend compared to others, they are getting more sane and though different from my weeks, they are much different from my previous behaviors during free-for-all days.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:15 pm

Hey Charis!! Don't beat yourself up about the icecream.
You had a great week!!
ps.. Yesterday my breakfast consisted of potato chips and coffee and my dinner consisted of green beans and chocolate icecream and more chips!
Wooo hoo!!!

That's what S days are for *sometimes!*
Really don't sweat it!!
You're doing great!
Peace and Love,

Debs

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Aug 07, 2007 1:08 pm

Monday, Day 18, Success Usual hunger and temptations that seem to occur on Monday. I always try to have a slightly bigger breakfast Monday morning to help me get through the day and it worked as I didn't feel hungry until my late lunch. I was really hungry after dinner but fought off the temptation to eat and went instead to get some exercise. I tried the stationery bike and my ankle felt pretty okay. Had some pain in my shin later but it felt great to get back to exercising. I didn't realize that I had missed that exercise-tired feeling of satisfaction.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Aug 08, 2007 4:09 am

Tuesday, day 19, success It was close at dinner as some of my favorite things were offered but with some virtual plating I rode out the temptation to binge and eat what I want. Part of it is that I am so close to completing 21 days that I don't want to screw it up. This is my third attempt at completing this cycle of 21 days. Had plans to exercise by the were pushed aside by a time with a friend - also a beneficial thing.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:19 am

Wednesday, day 20, success I did virtual plate my dinner since everything was not ready at the same time, but I am not going to make it a habit. I am sure that it can get me in trouble.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:22 pm

Thursday, Day 21(!), success Yeah after my 3rd attempt to complete this third cycle of 21 days I have finally made it. I was starving soon after dinner. I think I ate my dinner too fast because I filled up fast and gave about 1/3 of my plate to the dog. Later I had to fight hunger until bedtime. I finally had a cup of coffee and of course than struggled to fall asleep. Oh well, I am so happy that the habits are becoming more and more entrenched in my life. My weight has only slightly changed, though it went up a little when I was at my 2 week conference were I ate in the cafeteria every meal - so I lost those 3 lbs plus maybe one more. I am down a total of 9 lbs. I wish it was more, but patience is the road I am taking and who knows where my weight would have been if I had never found nos. I leave today for another work related trip. There will be an eating challenge this night. I have not decided if it will be an S day or not or if I will shift my s weekend a few hours going back to nos Sunday evening to compensate. Maybe Iwill wait until I see what food is offered and if it is worth an "S" event. Have a nice weekend

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:21 pm

Congratulations!!!!
I bet you feel great!!!!
Hey nine pounds *which you keep off* is far better than 30 which come flying back on only a few months later! Stick with slow and steady and focus on your habits! They will last a lifetime!
Great job!!
Peace and Love,

Debs

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:36 am

Friday, day 1 (4th round), Success I am happy about this because I spent the better part of the day in the car which has always meant candy at the gas station (yup never outgrew that childhood habit) but I resisited. Had a reception in the evening with a pretty delicious looking dessert but I was full from dinner so I rode out that temptation also.

Saturday and Sunday did okay and of course by definition they are days 2 & 3 and Successes. I am hoping for a good week and a smooth tranisiton back to nos, which is always hard after being away. For some reason I have in the past always had a hard time staying on track with a change of circumstances. So far nos has proven its ability to carry me from one routine to out of routine to back to routine. Someday when I am stronger we will give it the real test - a trip to mom's.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:20 am

Monday, day 4 was a success but barely the portions were huge but I stayed on track and that is huge for me especially after being away this past weekend. So tomorrow I will work on cutting back on portions and staying on track. The stress is still high in my home as we are still in the midst of a remodeling project. When will it be over? Honestly if I didn't have nos I think I would have eaten myself up 5 - 10 lbs.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:28 am

Tuesday, day 5, successful Better on food portions but still room for improvement. Remember how in an earlier post I talked about the real test for nos would be going to visit my mom? Well I am not going to my mom's but she is coming here to visit for about a week. If anyone is a praying person I will definitely need all of the help I can get. My mom is always talking about her diet and how well she is doing (maybe hoping I will take the hint- yea I get it mom!) but at the same time she is also buying lots of sweets and junk food. I am not going to tell her about nos specifically. If she asks I will just say that I have given up sweets during the week. I think that will be the big one, maybe snacks will be a problem to be on guard against also. I don't think she will even notice that I have given up seconds. I go to pick her and my nephew up tomorrow. At least then I only have 2 full days until my first "S" days. If I can be faithful to nos durning the next week, I know I will have really accomplished a feat I have never been able to pull off before - not giving into emotional eating while being around my mom. And please don't think that I don't love my mom, I do but I have never had a healthy relationship with food around my mom. I think she used food as something she could do nice for my sister and me in the face of my father's drinking and rage. She has not had the easiest life but is overall a very nice person.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:00 pm

Wednesday, day 6, success It was a day in the car for me as I traveled almost 11 hours round trip to pick up my mom and nephew and bring them back to my home. I had one meal on the road, no snacks, sweets or seconds but quite a bit of caffeine as I was the only driver. So far so good today, of course that was only breakfast.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 3:56 am

Thursday, day 7, success this day was not as hard as I had anticipated, especially given that there is a big bowl of candy sitting on the counter. It is going into a very high cupboard.

However, Friday, day 8 success was much tougher. The combination of my period starting (which always brings with it a desire to eat chocolate), my mom visiting and going out to eat for dinner have left me fighting temptation at a greater level than I have had to face since I started nos. Thankfully s days are right around the corner, so I have managed to convince myself to wait until tomorrow to dive into the ice cream.

Here is a case of I got what I deserved. My scale (which is in need of a battery change) said that I had lost weight on Thursday

but this morning I weighed again wanting to see the happy number again and probably because of my period my weight went up

so looking for more torture I decided to step on the scale at the gym and got an even

sadder surprise. It almost sent me off the deep end with my head in the refrigerator.

kymm · Post by **kymm** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 5:14 pm

Looks like you are doing great keep up the good work!!!!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:57 am

Okay I have been kind of occupied with my mom and nephew visiting so here is my catchup check in:

Saturday and Sunday (days 9 & 10), S days so successes

Monday, day 11, was an unscheduled S day

Tuesday, day 12 back on track success. I almost gave into the impulse to eat some ice cream this evening, but I had a cup of coffee instead and the impulse has passed. Tomorrow I take my mom and nephew back and will spend the night and return on Thursday. I hope my schedule returns to normal after that but isn't life full of changes of routine and adaptations. I am a little disappointed by Monday but feel like I am making progress over what usually happens when my mom visits. Usually I start off strong and gradually return to my old ways. This time I started to go back to the old ways but have pulled myself back from the edge. Maybe eventually I will float above it all. Something to work for.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:04 am

My mom and nephew are back in Michigan and I am hoping things can get back to some sort of normal. Here is my praise: I did not totally fall off the wagon while my mom was here, even when she constantly talked about what she eats or doesn't eat or how this relative or the other has lost a bunch of weight. Even though the emotional part of me said to go bury my head in a box of chocolates, the habits that I have cultivated have held pretty firm. I took one additional s day while she was here over the course of 8 days and yes I did feel that some meals were too big and I consumed more food than I normally would, but overall this is probably the best I have ever done in a situation like this. Now I am really going to try to focus on getting back on track with exercise and smaller portions. For the record:

Wednesday, day 13, success

Thursday, day 14, success

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:26 pm

Friday, day 15 success

Saturday and Sunday, S days but definitely more idiotic than I had been experiencing and I felt awlful. I figure it is a delayed stress reaction to having my mom stay with me. Anyway I hope the next time the weekend rolls around and I am tempted to graze and overeat I will remember how miserable I felt.

Today has gone well. I am continually amazed by how much I look forward to going back to a nos day. And miracles of miracles and quite a shock, I actually exercised today for about an hour. I am hoping it is a trend that I can start and continue.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 6:37 pm

Monday, Day 18, success Even after a terrible weekend, it wasn't that hard to get back on track, though I was really hungry at dinner. But I wasn't even tempted to eat the cookies at my daughter's back to school night. I remember when I use to really be tormented by things like that or just go and grab 1 or 2. This time it wasn't even an issue - almost like it was brussel sprouts

instead of chocolate chip cookies.

Also, I excercised this morning even doing a few weights for good measure. That's 2 days in a row. I am aiming for a whole week!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:19 pm

Tuesday, day 19, Success

For this Wednesday morning I have done some pushups, situps and some exercises aimed at strenghtening my arms. Hope to be heading out soon for some aerobic type of exercise. I have noticed some general stiffness, typical when one is getting back into an exercise routine and also some pain in my ankle that had the torn ligament in July. I don't think I will push for too many minutes today as I don't want to do damage to the healing process.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Aug 30, 2007 4:11 pm

Wednesday, Day 20, Success The day went pretty well and uneventful. And surprise surprise as of this morning I have exercised 4 days this week - a true miracle! My body is sore from lifting weights and my ankle definitely feels a little sore so I will probably ice it today. At least there is a sense of accomplishment in my day when I exercise. I need to remember that feeling for when I am tempted to skip a day.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:07 pm

Thursday, day 21, Success Had dinner late because of my son's soccer game but otherwise good.

I went and lifted a few weights and did some cardio on an elleptical - which marks 5 days of exercise. A feat I don't think I have accomplished for months. I am hoping to have green month on my habitcal for September. I have also decided not to weigh myself until the end of September. I am hoping to have less emotional ups and downs as it relates to the scale - unless I totally fall off of the wagon and then ignorance is not my friend.

Have a great weekend!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:27 am

Friday, Success

Saturday, Sunday and Monday - S days - Successes by definition

I exercised Friday and Saturday. I was planning to take Sunday off and ended up taking Monday off. I think my ankle really needed it as it was pretty uncomfortable at the end of Saturday's workout and it wasn't even that long of a workout.

Tomorrow I should be back on track.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:28 am

Friday, Success

Saturday, Sunday and Monday - S days - Successes by definition

I exercised Friday and Saturday. I was planning to take Sunday off and ended up taking Monday off. I think my ankle really needed it as it was pretty uncomfortable at the end of Saturday's workout and it wasn't even that long of a workout.

Tomorrow I should be back on track.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:20 pm

Tuesday - success I was a little short on protein yesterday and as a result pretty hungry in the evening, but I managed to make it through the evening without eating. I am planning on heading out for some exercise now so unless I get derailed I will get in another day of exercise.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:05 pm

Wednesday, success, it was a hot day and my food intake was down but I didn't suffer in the evening with hunger. Since I only filled my plate for dinner about 40% I had left open the option of having something later in the evening if the hunger became too much. Nothing too urgent surfaced so I just went to bed.

I did exercise yesterday and also today. I know I am shocked too. It is nice to see me doing well in both areas. Maybe at the end of the month I will see a nice weight loss. I have been tempted to step on the scales more than a few times, but have stayed off. Also a good improvement considering how scale obsessed I can become.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 12:51 pm

Thursday, success Day went pretty well. At dinner I was tempted to go back for seconds and throw caution to the wind, but I managed to reign myself back in. And thats a good thing!

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:23 pm

Friday, success, it was a good nos day

Saturday and Sunday were not good S days for me. In fact I ate so much I still don't feel well and it is already into the afternoon. I hope I remember exactly how I felt last night and today and learn my lesson. I am definitely going to have a sensible plan for my next weekend.

I didn't feel well this morning - big surprise and didn't get any exercise today.

It is raining and I have a very small emergency to attend to and an unexpected addition to my evening. I may not get any exercise in today. But I will be back at it tomorrow.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:25 am

Monday, success, it was okay today. My stomach never did feel really well so I guess that helped to keep me in check.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:06 pm

Tuesday, success and I did both some strength training and cardio

Wednesday, failure, this was a sad day. Definitely ate out of some sadness and also TOM. It started with just grabbing some chopped celery into my mouth - totally mindless eating, but hey it is celery so no damage there. But then I picked at some chicken while I was chopping it up for chicken salad. I could have virtual plated it but at that time I declared the day a failure and unfortunately it seemed to give me the excuse to eat a chocolate bar that I was not hungry for in the evening. This is probably my worse failure since I started in May. I am trying to get back on board, because knowing myself it could lead to a dangerous downward spiral. I did exercise on Wednesday and today. My doctor also called about having my thyroid levels tested again so hopefully I can get that settled especially if I find out that my medication level needs to be raised.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:51 pm

Thursday, success I narrowly avoided having two failures in a row, but I made it through the day. I did some strength training today and may be able to get in some cardio tonight. I am approaching my weekend by only allowing 3 indulgences in S's a day. It is a high number, but I am hoping it will eliminate the mindless eating. It is that TOM for me and I also think I am catching a cold and really thinking that I need to cut down on my caffeine level - I have been using coffee as a filler between meals. I think it is having some negative effects on my body.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 3:09 am

Friday, success I really wanted this day to be an s day, but I made it and fought off the cravings by telling myself that the weekend was right around the corner.

Saturday and Sunday, s days, Saturday threatened to become idiotic, but I was able to put the brakes on. Sunday was pretty okay and I avoided the temptation to stuff myself in the evening as kind of a last chance to partake

Monday, success, I planned my lunch out better today and that really helped my day to go well. I didn't totally get rid of the caffeine but it was really much more reduced.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:27 am

Tuesday, success, , I spent a lot of time today and I mean a lot of time driving my kids around and also my husband as our van went into the shop to have the transmission repaired for the 3rd time (thankfully under warranty). It made for meal times to be a little rushed and not that satisfying. I almost succumbed to the temptation of chocolate in the afternoon, but fought off the temptation and though I feel a little wobbly in the will power area I am going to make it through the rest of the evening.

For some reason this stretch of nos seems to be like walking through waist deep mud. It is so hard. I don't know if it is because the newness of this plan is wearing off since I started in May or if it is something in my current emotional state/life circumstances. I also don't think I am losing any weight and I am working pretty hard so that is a little disheartening. I am not giving up though. It just is a little harder in the motivational area.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:07 pm

Wednesday, success, fairly typical nos day and I am still consistently exercising which has been a major improvement from over the summer. My goal was to exercise 19 times this month and I think I have about 6 days to go to meet that goal.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 1:56 am

Thursday, success, another typical nos day except there were a couple of times I thought about having a snack or something sweet and I had to remind myself that I don't do that anymore. I still haven't heard back the results from my lab test, so I am assuming my thyroid levels must have turned out normal on this test. The other test used a different way to measure the thyroid level and measured high. I was kind of hoping that it would come back high as it would give me a reason why weight loss has been so slow. Guess I will have to go back and really try to get my weekends to be more sensible and more nos like.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:13 pm

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were all s days. I knew Friday would be and I had hoped to turn Sunday into a nosday, but it didn't happen. This has been a rougher patch of road for me here, somewhat because of some huge cravings and also because I am not losing any weight and it is discouraging. I know it is my weekends and they have to become more sane for me to continue on this plan. So I will continue to work on that. I did exercise on Friday and also today. That part is going okay. Wish the two would come together and magic would happen.[/i]

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:33 pm

Monday, success, I have to say that I watched my portions a little more carefully and also my food choices. I think I am just eating too many calories even in the framework of just 3 plates a day. Today I went grocery shopping before lunch (always dangerous) and I picked up a couple of things to have for lunch that looked good and realized that a couple of them were such bad choices calorie wise that even though they would have fit on one plate they would have constituted about 1/2 of the calories I probably burn in one day. Seems logical that 1/3 would be a more realistic target. Anyway I skipped those choices (they weren't that healthy anyway) and came home and had the cereal I would normally have had at breakfast, but couldn't because we were out of milk. Don't worry I am not going back to counting calories - only trying to get myself to make smarter choices in eating healthier and to restart some weight loss.

I did make it to the gym today and had a good workout where I really pushed myself. It was the kind of workout that you hate but love when you are finished.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 10:00 pm

Okay, I need to do a little catching up.

First the positives: I have exercised every day this week (Monday - Friday). Yeah! I have met my goal of exercising 19 days this month. It is the most consistent I have been since early in the year.

Now for the rest of the story:

Tuesday was a success It was a good typical nos day if my memory serves me well

Wednesday was a failure. It wasn't I am totally out of controll failure, but a friend took me out to lunch and really wanted me to try the gelato that the restuarant was famous for and well anyone who has read my previous posts knows that I love ice cream and the temptation was to much and I didn't want to disappoint her. It was good and I ended the day wishing that my s days were a lot like this day

Thursday was a success. It was a pretty good day and today is going okay so far.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:07 pm

Didn't realize it had been so long since I had last posted. I have been kept pretty busy and I am finally attempting to get my office in order. A very tall order considering my husband moved his office home and his boxes sit amongst my already cluttered and disorganized office space.

Friday, success, I traveled across state on this date and for some reason my mind tries to tell me that means that I can party with sugar, but I didn't

Saturday and Sunday, s days, not as bad as many, not quite as good as I hope to see in the future

Monday, success

Tuesday, success, I had the rare privilege of having the house to myself and once again my mind said it was time to celebrate with some chocolate, but I did manage to not give into temptation.

So far so good today, and I did exercise Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, and today - though I only got in strength training today and no cardio, because my husband was sick and needed me to get him some medicine at the store which ate up my time for cardio. Small sacrifice for the benefit of a love one.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:05 pm

Time to catch up again

I had one failure last week, Thursday, and it was not good but I have been doing fine since and have had no failures since then. Yesterday was a very stressful day for me and the temptation to eat cookies was very strong, but I realized that I wanted those cookies to deal with the stress and they really weren't going to improve the situation. So I am happy about that and that these habits really are quite ingrained in my life. Now if only I could get my weekends to follow some kind of moderation-they still are not good.

Also I have been exercising everyday during the week, occassionally on the weekends. I have been doing both strength training and cardio and have been consistent I think since the end of August.

I've missed this place and hope to check in again more consistently as the internet problems we have been having are hopefully in the past.

Charis · Post by **Charis** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:30 pm

Friday, success

Saturday and Sunday, s days not as idiotic as many other weekends so at least I improved some

Exercise on Friday and Monday.

Everyday Systems

Daily check in for Charis

Daily check in for Charis

thank you so much