oolala53,
I don't think of fasting as a portion control approach to eating. What I am doing is fasting intermittently and then eating as much as I want when I do eat. My Sundays of "unconditional permission to eat" could be labelled as binges, but I do not consider them to be because I feel in control of my eating. With a portion control approach, you are counting everything whether by calories or carbs or some other method. When you binge, it is always out of control. I'd rather be obese than return to the portion control approach to dieting with the periodic out of control binges. That's my story and my experience. BrightAngel seems to have managed to continue for years a portion control approach, but I did, too -- for over 10 years. When it collapsed, however, it really collapsed and I gained 10 pounds every year for six years.
Kathleen
The Blessings of Simplicity
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
definitions and food eaten
Kathleen,
I have also read through your posts from the beginning and have been following your attempts and restarts and I agree with the poster who said she was exhausted. I am sure you are, too.
You and I fundamentally disagree on definitions...specifically what is portion control and what is a binge. Be that as it may, I just am curious about what you do eat when you have your 3 meals. As far as I can tell, you have only listed foods like popcorn, cereal, beer, bread, "cooler," pretzels, ice cream drumsticks, chocolate covered caramels, ice cream, etc. I know these are the foods you felt guilty eating or they were your exceptions. But the only meal food I recall you mentioning is oatmeal. Do you fix home cooked meals with good meats, vegetables, and fruit?
And here is a sampling of recurring phrases from your journal which disturb me:
"binge eating on Tuesday"
"still stuffed from yesterday"
"uncontrolled overeating"
"stomach ache"
"restart" this one has been used multiple times
This all suggests binge eating to me. I know you don't think it is a binge if you are giving yourself permission, but you are recording binges and sometimes even calling them that. Even your meals on N days are not one plate but "planned overeating" "It's OK if it is all out in front of me before I start" as opposed to Katie bar the door on S Days.
I know I shouldn't butt in to your experiment, but you are a smart woman who should be able to analyze this behavior. You probably know how to go back and chart all sorts of information from your lengthy journal just as you would to help a business analyze their productivity.
I hope you find your answer soon. I just couldn't keep quiet because I am more concerned for your health than your weight. I see Type II diabetes on the horizon and other metabolic syndrome problems. But I will keep quiet (for awhile), I promise.
Here is a quote from Bright Angel's DietHobby blog:
There are many ways of eating,
many different Diets, and..if followed..most of them
will bring one to normal weight and allow one to stay there.
Just pick one…any one…and begin following it.
If that Diet isn’t working for you, pick another,
…but carefully avoid the tendency to engage in
unrestrained eating episodes between diets or food-plans.
Changing Diets isn’t a “free spaceâ€
where the Laws of Nature are suspended.
I have also read through your posts from the beginning and have been following your attempts and restarts and I agree with the poster who said she was exhausted. I am sure you are, too.
You and I fundamentally disagree on definitions...specifically what is portion control and what is a binge. Be that as it may, I just am curious about what you do eat when you have your 3 meals. As far as I can tell, you have only listed foods like popcorn, cereal, beer, bread, "cooler," pretzels, ice cream drumsticks, chocolate covered caramels, ice cream, etc. I know these are the foods you felt guilty eating or they were your exceptions. But the only meal food I recall you mentioning is oatmeal. Do you fix home cooked meals with good meats, vegetables, and fruit?
And here is a sampling of recurring phrases from your journal which disturb me:
"binge eating on Tuesday"
"still stuffed from yesterday"
"uncontrolled overeating"
"stomach ache"
"restart" this one has been used multiple times
This all suggests binge eating to me. I know you don't think it is a binge if you are giving yourself permission, but you are recording binges and sometimes even calling them that. Even your meals on N days are not one plate but "planned overeating" "It's OK if it is all out in front of me before I start" as opposed to Katie bar the door on S Days.
I know I shouldn't butt in to your experiment, but you are a smart woman who should be able to analyze this behavior. You probably know how to go back and chart all sorts of information from your lengthy journal just as you would to help a business analyze their productivity.
I hope you find your answer soon. I just couldn't keep quiet because I am more concerned for your health than your weight. I see Type II diabetes on the horizon and other metabolic syndrome problems. But I will keep quiet (for awhile), I promise.
Here is a quote from Bright Angel's DietHobby blog:
There are many ways of eating,
many different Diets, and..if followed..most of them
will bring one to normal weight and allow one to stay there.
Just pick one…any one…and begin following it.
If that Diet isn’t working for you, pick another,
…but carefully avoid the tendency to engage in
unrestrained eating episodes between diets or food-plans.
Changing Diets isn’t a “free spaceâ€
where the Laws of Nature are suspended.
TexArk,
I don't mind the questions. I have gotten quite accustomed to not having sweets on N Days, although I do occasionally have pop. My breakfasts are generally Cheerios or oatmeal. I've found that skipping lunch seems to work well. I do have liquids, especially 2% milk. As for dinner, I am not a great cook and would love if anyone has recipes especially for working Moms. We tend to have simple cooked meals like hamburgers, penne pasta with hamburger meat, pork chops, and chicken that is stir fried, breaded, or in mushroom sauce. I love chili and make it occasionally as well.
This last week has been a terrible disappointment. I went off the rails on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Why? Well, I think part of it is that I got a lot of positive feedback from my job and then a person I worked with introduced me to his boss at 4:30 PM on my last day and this guy wanted to know if he could hire me. It was a real high to be viewed as a professional and to do such a good job in such a short time. I then came home to having to clean up after our camping trip, stripping wallpaper in the kitchen, running Katie to a math test, finding out that Tom got a B in math (a combination of Cs in tests and As in homework, which convinced me he needed tutoring in the summer), and Tom understandably very unhappy about going to Puerto Rico every week for the next six weeks. Work was a lot more fun.
Still, my vocation is mother. Part of my job, I believe, is to find a way to eat healthily in a society which is increasingly obese. I bought into the portion control approach. I lived it. I know the good and the bad of it and decided the bad (a feeling of constant hunger) outweighs the good (a low weight). There has to be a better way, and I think I'm getting closer and closer to it.
Pepper likes the approach. She's getting so many walks she had to sit down during a walk yesterday! Of course, she's only 9 pounds and hasn't been walked since early April.
Kathleen
I don't mind the questions. I have gotten quite accustomed to not having sweets on N Days, although I do occasionally have pop. My breakfasts are generally Cheerios or oatmeal. I've found that skipping lunch seems to work well. I do have liquids, especially 2% milk. As for dinner, I am not a great cook and would love if anyone has recipes especially for working Moms. We tend to have simple cooked meals like hamburgers, penne pasta with hamburger meat, pork chops, and chicken that is stir fried, breaded, or in mushroom sauce. I love chili and make it occasionally as well.
This last week has been a terrible disappointment. I went off the rails on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Why? Well, I think part of it is that I got a lot of positive feedback from my job and then a person I worked with introduced me to his boss at 4:30 PM on my last day and this guy wanted to know if he could hire me. It was a real high to be viewed as a professional and to do such a good job in such a short time. I then came home to having to clean up after our camping trip, stripping wallpaper in the kitchen, running Katie to a math test, finding out that Tom got a B in math (a combination of Cs in tests and As in homework, which convinced me he needed tutoring in the summer), and Tom understandably very unhappy about going to Puerto Rico every week for the next six weeks. Work was a lot more fun.
Still, my vocation is mother. Part of my job, I believe, is to find a way to eat healthily in a society which is increasingly obese. I bought into the portion control approach. I lived it. I know the good and the bad of it and decided the bad (a feeling of constant hunger) outweighs the good (a low weight). There has to be a better way, and I think I'm getting closer and closer to it.
Pepper likes the approach. She's getting so many walks she had to sit down during a walk yesterday! Of course, she's only 9 pounds and hasn't been walked since early April.
Kathleen
I have to say I'm really confused what you mean by 'portion control'. Controlling your portion sizes so you are full enough to last til the next meal but not overstuffed shouldn't be a bad thing? If it is leaving you constantly hungry, then that probably means something is going wrong. You shouldn't be constantly hungry if you are eating three decent sized meals per day (or possibly 2 big ones and 2 small ones as I sometimes do!) I remember an earlier conversation we had on this thread where you said that your reaction to portion control is more mental than physical; a desire to binge eat rather than a physical hunger.
As for meal ideas, some of the things I try and cook that are relatively easy and healthy:
- fajitas (basically meat and/or veg with some spices, rolled up in a tortilla wrap)
- pork chop with baked sweet potato and a green veg (broccoli, beans, sugar snap peas)
- chicken marinaded in spicy sauce and served with rice and veg
- large salad (and I mean laaaaarge) with a grilled meat or fish, egg and cheese
- asparagus and poached egg with bread/toast
- big bowl of vegetable pasta (try adding strips of pepper, mushrooms, peas, sweetcorn etc. with the hamburger meat)
Also I'm not sure if I'm meant to be sad that your son got a B in maths, but to me that's a WOOHOO! moment! I was never very good at it
As for meal ideas, some of the things I try and cook that are relatively easy and healthy:
- fajitas (basically meat and/or veg with some spices, rolled up in a tortilla wrap)
- pork chop with baked sweet potato and a green veg (broccoli, beans, sugar snap peas)
- chicken marinaded in spicy sauce and served with rice and veg
- large salad (and I mean laaaaarge) with a grilled meat or fish, egg and cheese
- asparagus and poached egg with bread/toast
- big bowl of vegetable pasta (try adding strips of pepper, mushrooms, peas, sweetcorn etc. with the hamburger meat)
Also I'm not sure if I'm meant to be sad that your son got a B in maths, but to me that's a WOOHOO! moment! I was never very good at it
Who Me?
I was just so excited about work because I've been a stay at home Mom for so many years and this was my first time working right in the thick of a project and someone actually wanted to hire me! I also think I took on more than I could handle with this diet, thinking that being home would make dieting easier. It's humbling to face the reality -- not as humbling as what Anthony Weiner is going through tonight, but still humbling.
Kathleen
I was just so excited about work because I've been a stay at home Mom for so many years and this was my first time working right in the thick of a project and someone actually wanted to hire me! I also think I took on more than I could handle with this diet, thinking that being home would make dieting easier. It's humbling to face the reality -- not as humbling as what Anthony Weiner is going through tonight, but still humbling.
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
June 7, 2011: Cultivating the Virtue of Temperance
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0 (This month's goal is 182.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 23.0 pounds.) Temperance Points = 0
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing. It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to two times per week, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and a customized version of The No S Diet. For this diet, I give one of five labels to each day:
1. Feast Days: Feast Days are days of "unconditional permission to eat", a term taken from the book Intuitive Eating. All Sundays and only Sundays are Feast Days.
2. Normal Days: These are all days when I have no snacks and no sweets. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no portion control). I also can have caloric liquids any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
3. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for 24 hours or from one dinner to the next. Any eating outside the time of the fast follows the rules of a Normal Day. There must be at least 24 hours between fasts, and I can fast no more than two times per week. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially rules from the Greek Orthodox religion. I am Catholic, not Greek Orthodox, but found much wisdom in reading about fasting practices in the Greek Orthodox religion.
4. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day.
5. Free Days: Free Days are all days from Easter to the Sunday after Easter, inclusive, and from Christmas to New Year's Day, inclusive. On these days, I also have “unconditional permission to eat.â€
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking what I call Temperance Points. Each day, I take the starting balance from the prior day and make adjustments based on the following:
- I neither add nor subtract a point if the prior day was a Normal Day or a Free Day.
- I add one point if the prior day was a Fast Day.
- I subtract one point if the prior day was an Exception Day or a Feast Day that was not also a Free Day.
My eating goal is to stay between 0 and 2, inclusive, for the number of Temperance Points. In addition, I have two very moderate exercise goals. For aerobic activity, I walk at least 7,000 steps per day for all days other than Sunday and increase that number of steps by 100 each month until I reach 10,000 steps. For strengthening exercises, starting each July 1 and continue to June 30 of the next year, I count 150 times of doing the basic program in Strong Women Stay Slim.
Balance for Temperance Points (as of the start of the day):
Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 1
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011:
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011:
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 0
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 1
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 2
Day 11 – Friday, June 17, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 1
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 2
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011: 1
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011: 2
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011:0
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 1
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011: 204.4
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011: 204.0
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 203.2
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011: 203.4
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011: 203.8
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 203.2
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 204.0
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011: 202.0
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 200.6
Day 11 – Friday, June 17, 2011: 201.8
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011: 201.4
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011: 203.0
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 204.4
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 203.6
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011: 202.8
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011: 203.0
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011: 203.0
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011: 204.0
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011: 202.8
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 201.4
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011: 204.4
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011: 204.0 I am basing my approach to dieting on the completely unproven hypothesis that periodic fasting will reduce the amount I want to eat when I do eat. Maybe I am completely wrong. I accept that as a possibility. After Katie's graduation on Tuesday, there was a pool party, and there were some Moms in fantastic shape. One of the other mothers pointed out a woman and said she didn't know who she was. She was the Mom who flew to Washington, DC to run a marathon on Holloween. She also separated from her husband, they both work, and the oldest of their three kids is in sixth grade. It is a matter of priorities. I have no desire whatsoever to have the priorities that I would choose to leave behind three children in elementary school on Holloween night so I can go run a marathon. Does that make my choices better than hers? Well, certainly, not many people would choose to abandon a portion control approach when they are stuck above 200 pounds. Sometimes we serve as lessons to others, sometimes we serve as inspiration, and sometimes we serve as warnings. Right now, I'm more of a tornado siren than an inspiration, but I am hopeful.
3 PM: I decided that an 18 hour fast would be enough. That's little more than skipping breakfast and having a late lunch. The reason why I decided that is that, while I was walking the dog, I realized it felt downright pleasant to have a stomach that was empty. It is the sensation of lightness on Fast Days that I believe will lead to my successfully, permanently, and easily becoming thin. I am testing this theory. I was confident that No S without portion control would work, too, so I need to preserve an element of skepticism and take a "wait and see" attitude. There has been so much up and down since I gave up on No S and started experimenting that I think I'd like to stick with this plan until next summer. There is really very little change except that I will experience some lightness from the 18 hour fast. There is nothing frightening about fasting when you know it will end in 18 hours and you can eat as much as you want at the next meal. The remaining question is whether I'll lose any weight.
9 PM: Today was very busy because everyone except Ellie had something going on, and she was quite unhappy to be stuck at home. Now school is done, and we have started working with Tom on math. Tonight I attended a meeting on the Boy Scout camp, and it gave me some time to think about what has happened this past month. I feel calm, very calm. It is hard to describe but doing the minimum seems to be a good approach because I don't have to worry about any sort of marathon fasting or rules that are too onerous to follow. It seems almost absurd that I would lose weight with this approach when all I've done is add some days when I skip breakfast. Why am I hopeful? Well, it may be that I'm just engaging in self-deception. Still, I think I am hopeful because fasting -- even an 18 hour fast -- gets me accustomed to the feeling of emptiness in my stomach. It makes me realize that stuffed is not the only state of my stomach which is not painful.
I think that all those years of dieting created a sense of panic in me whenever I sensed any fullness in my stomach less than stuffed. Why? Maybe my diet had more staying power the more stuffed my stomach was. I really have no idea why I got to the point of eating to stuffed every time I had a chance or bingeing every time I even thought about portion control. There was something not chosen about my actions. I didn't choose to binge. I didn't choose to stuff myself. The emotional brain took over, the same brain that got me to the surface of the water when my brother held me underwater when I was 10.
"Doing the minimum" -- such a simple program as this -- allows me to calm down and restrict without any sort of rebellion on the part of a body determined not to starve to death. The obese starving... That's what I see when I see obese people. I bet 90% of them at least are locked in a battle with their body and only 10% at most have given up and are simply indulging. There is such suffering in the life of a person who is obese and tries again and again to lose weight.
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 203.2 One husband, one daughter, and one dog got up when I got up. I vaguely remember experiencing the feeling of lightness when I was young. I felt energized. I have one memory of this, and I think it's because it was so the norm that I didn't pay attention to it. Now I'm saddled with saddlebags. The feeling that is positive is in my stomach. It does not feel painful, and I have experienced it recently when my stomach growled. It is a feeling of lightness and energy. I went from the norm (when I was young) being that light feeling that I experienced yesterday to being in a panic if I wasn't stuffed, and I blame those years of dieting for that change.
Ellie just asked if she could take down Easter decorations on the window. I sure don't know how mothers work full time!
6 PM: Tom got in at 2:15 AM from Puerto Rico and he just left with Tommy for a weekend of backpacking to prepare for backpacking with the boys in August in New Mexico. I took a picture of the two of them in Boy Scout uniforms with backpacks on and told Tom he looks like someone I would have married! Life is so full of joy... The years of panicky concern about food certainly hurt my enjoyment of life. I feel a little bit like I just took off a backpack after all these years.
8:30 PM: This afternoon, when I went to pick up Tommy from Driver's Ed (always driving kids around!), I stopped at Office Max and picked up an academic calendar that begins July 1. I then created a June calendar and numbered the days starting with June 7, 2011 as Day 1 and June 30, 2012 as Day 390. I think I've found a narrow path to weight loss and it is a change in perception of what it used to me to feel as light. I know I've felt this same feeling and reacted with panic.
It would be pure stupidity to rush the adjustment process. If I can just fast for 18 hours one day per week, then eventually I believe that I can learn to enjoy that feeling of lightness. If I enjoy that feeling of lightness, then wouldn't it make sense that I would want to experience that feeling on days other than Fast Days as well?
There is this ray of hope that lightness is the way out, that finding enjoyable what used to feel like torture is the way out.
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011: 203.4 I ate a lot last night, including an entire bowl of popcorn. Popcorn seems to be the best food for me to eat when I just feel like eating a lot. Now, this morning, I still have food in my stomach and am thinking about how much nicer it felt to have that feeling of lightness. Today is a beautiful summer day, I allowed the girls to watch Netflix last night as long as they wanted because we are changing the plan so that they can only watch 2 hours per month of the online movies plus get two movies. Given that we don't have access to TV shows, that change will affect their viewing habits. I let them watch hours and hours this week as I scrambled to figure out what we can do with Tommy and math. I met with a guidance counselor for about 45 minutes yesterday morning and the best option looks like his repeating Algebra II this coming year. Since he was in the advanced program taking 11th grade math in 9th grade, it won't look bad that he's taking 11th grade math in 10th grade. He's following the course selection that Anne took.
I had one week to dig deeper to figure out that his B in Algebra II was the tip of the iceberg: it's not that he didn't study or didn't try or didn't care. It's that he didn't understand. I told him I'd much rather deal with didn't understand than didn't try.
My focus for way too many years has been on my weight and dieting, with the minute to minute endurance required from portion control dieting. Yesterday all day I did not think about food. I thought about getting Katie to the orthodontist and getting Tommy to Driver's Ed and hunting down someone at the high school (by literally showing up there, since they didn't answer their phones).
Tom thought my approach was way too intense, but what he doesn't realize is that the school is now closed and no one can be reached to discuss anything. I had to gather information now to figure out what our options could be for the summer. It's going to be a lot easier to review Algebra I with him than it would have been to make sure he understood both Algebra I and Algebra II.
I still have to find some workbooks he can use, and his 6th grade teacher recommended a store. She also is gone.
This week is an example of why I don't want my focus on food and weight. Had I not recognized that Tom didn't get Algebra I and II, which I apparently didn't when he finished Algebra I, then he would have walked into Pre-Calc and hit a brick wall. The guidance counselor let me know that homework is used in computing the grade in Algebra I and II but test results are almost all of the grade in Pre-Calc. Tom could slide by using on line helps to do his homework correctly in Algebra I and II but not manage in Pre-Calc. PLUS -- he wants to be a doctor! He needs to actually know math!
My life. My problems. I'm shifting focus. I do think that teaching my kids to manage their eating is a very important job for a parent, and I have failed miserably because of my up and down dieting. This fasting approach does seem to trigger some memories of how I used to feel, or rather of how my stomach used to feel. This morning's stomach feels heavy and uncomfortable. It's the lightness I experienced with fasting that was more the norm. I can hardly wait to see what happens over time! I'll give it a year -- until next July 1. That will give me the month of June next year, when I again will not be working, to figure out what change I might want to make. I do think I will start tracking strengthening exercises as of July 1 and try to get to 150 by July 1 of next year, but that's the only addition I want to make.
11 AM: I have to get Anne to the Boy Scout store to get shorts, and then we'll enjoy the rest of the day. While I was walking the dog, it occurred to me that this 18 hour fast is so easy that I almost made it today, since I ate about 7 PM and didn't eat until after 9 because I was still so stuffed from last night. I think I'm going to have Feast Days automatically get deductions from Temperance Points just so that I am forced to fast an average of at least once per week. The fact that I got up at 6 this morning and did not eat until after 9 is a good sign.
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011: 203.8 I woke up this morning thinking I'd rather have a Fast Day today than a Feast Day. Why? I think I'd feel better. It felt good to be light. By 1 PM, after having had a frappachino from Starbucks and Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip ice cream and Pepperidge Fudge Chocolate Cake, I decided I'd had enough and started my fast at 1 PM. That will allow me to end my 18 hour fast in time to have breakfast at 7 and get four kids to six different activities tomorrow. I bet I log 150 miles in the van tomorrow, and I figured I'd rather have breakfast than not. This diet certainly has a lot of flexibility and is really easy to follow. I like the idea of having to subtract one from my Temperance Balance every Sunday. This gives me the flexibility to do with the day what I want even if I decide not to eat a lot that day. It also forces me to have 18 hours fasts which, frankly, are very easy for me at this point. I do hope I lose weight following this diet. It seems too easy to be effective, and that may well be the case.
I walked 31,169 steps from Tuesday to Saturday, giving me my goal of 7,000 per day plus 3,168 as a bonus. That is a minimum for walking, and I'm fine with that.
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 203.2 I believe this is the first time in my No S diet that my Monday weight was lower than my Sunday weight. It was easier to fast from after lunch to this morning since I slept during the latter part of the fast, but I don't want to give up dinner with my family as a routine. Last night didn't matter because Tom and Tommy were returning from backpacking, but generally it would matter except when we have both swim team and Scouts on a Thursday night.
7 PM: I want to write out why I think this diet works. There are two aspects of the human being that I think make this diet work. The first aspect is that habit is the key to the development of virtue, as described by Aristotle in his Ethics. The person who chooses virtue consistently doesn't have to think about being virtuous. The second aspect of the human being is that there is a part of the human brain that reacts without thinking. I have a personal memory that demonstrated that aspect of my humanity to me when I was about ten and my brother, goofing around as brothers do, held me underwater. I had what seemed like superhuman strength as I pushed to get my head above water. I did not choose that action. I just did it.
Pavlov, in his famous experiments, measured extra salivation in dogs when a bell was rung because the ringing of a bell was consistently followed by the serving of food to the dogs. With the human being, I believe, consistent meal timing can be like that bell. If there is a disruption in meal timing, the human reacts with hunger that is very persuasive, so persuasive that it seems to me to be triggered by the same reptilian brain that got me to the surface of the water. I believe that consistent meal timing can create a hunger that is so persuasive because the reptilian brain thinks starvation is just around the corner if a meal is delayed.
This diet, I think, allows me to avoid the feeling of hunger because there is a pattern of eating that is not detectable by the reptilian brain. A pattern of eating in which there is fasting for 18 hours once or twice per week is inconsistent enough that the reptilian brain does not anticipate food and so does not get hungry and demand food. Also, because I don't control my portions at all, my reptilian brain is not concerned about the quantity of food when I do eat.
How can fasting become a habit? The thinking brain can know that there is a habit of fasting once or twice per week and can anticipate and accept this pattern which is too inconsistent for the reptilian brain to detect.
Tonight, we did not get home until 7:30 because I picked up Anne and a friend from an amusement park and then turned around and picked up Tom and Katie (late) from swim team. Did I feel hungry because I ate after 7:30? Not at all. I'm not feeling hungry at all. It's really bizarre.
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 204.0 This morning, I woke up about 3 AM feeling like I had lead in my stomach. It was not lead; it was food. Today is not a Fast Day. What to do? I decided that maybe I should just eat less, so I slept in (at least for me, to 7 AM) and then had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with blueberries. My hypothesis was that fasting would affect how much I wanted to eat on other days, but I hadn't actually experienced an effect until this morning. I don't like how I feel at all. I feel weighed down, and I can contrast that feeling to the feeling of lightness I felt with fasting. Had I not had a restriction of fasting to Mondays and Thursdays, I would have decided to try a fast today. I read in several old religious texts the warning against excessive fasting. I wonder if the warning is due to people ending up with eating disorders if they fast more than twice per week. There's a book I bought but never read called Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa. I just found it and think I'll read it.
5 PM: I have a slight sensation of hunger, and it feels really good. How is that? I don't know. This is the exact same feeling that I've had that sent me into a panic that I need to have food NOW!!! I didn't have much for breakfast or lunch. No bowls of popcorn. No enormous pieces of watermelon. No peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. Wouldn't it be wonderful if this change is like flipping a light switch and I won't be back?
9 PM: It was a light switch, and it was a light switch that cannot be described in any way that is adequate. Some things must be experienced, like the birth of your child or being in love. That's how I feel now about going from needing to be stuffed to wanting to feel light. I cannot describe it.
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011: 202.0 It almost seems like the result of an exorcism: the driving desire to eat and eat and eat, like a little devil, is now out of me. It's just gone. The closest analogy I can give is the shocking change that you see in driving from Hood River, OR to The Dalles, OR, a drive of about 15 miles. Hood River is lush and wooded; The Dalles is in a desert. There is a distance of approximately two miles where trees thin out until there are none. Do I want a large breakfast this morning? No. Absolutely not. The thought of stuffing myself is repulsive. Like a distance of two miles being the difference between wooded and barren of trees, so the last two weeks or so have been the transition from wanting to eat as much as I can to wanting a feeling of lightness.
Today, I'll be driving Anne to be a camp counselor near the headwaters of the Mississippi, which is about five hours' drive from here. It was for Anne that I persevered. I did not want her to suffer the misery of constant dieting. She is only 17. She has her life before her. I want her to be lead a long and healthy life.
Yesterday, to my shock, my 10 year old daughter received a call letting me know that someone I had known more than 20 years ago had died of diabetes and liver failure. He was perhaps 60 years old. Life is short enough without having obesity shorten it even more. I want a long and healthy life for Anne.
I once gave my mother a paperweight that read, "A mother's love is from above." I love Anne so much it brings tears to my eyes. She will be gone all summer. I'm happy for her and happy we'll be at the camp (Family Camp) for a week of her time there. The greatest gift I think I can give her is a path to a healthy weight that doesn't disrupt her life and occupy her thoughts, a path which gives her the ability to focus on what is really important, her own life and her own family, perhaps someday.
9 PM: Anne and I had lunch before noon, I dropped her off and was on my way home by 1:30, and I decided to fast 16 hours from lunch today rather than wait for tomorrow since I assumed I would miss dinner with the family. I like the flexibility of choosing Fast Days, so I changed the restriction from Monday and Thursday only to a maximum of two days per week and not on consecutive days.
I also removed mention of walking just because I'm not sure how I'm going to handle exercise. I think I may start with an average of 7,000 steps per day for six days per week and then increase that number by 100 per day each month.
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 200.6 My weight is lower because I haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch. I do not feel as though I am starving. I just started oatmeal, so I won't eat for more than an hour from now, and that's just fine. The driving desire to eat and eat and eat seems to be gone, and I hope it's gone for good. I just could not believe that God would want us to be miserable, torn between obesity and feeling like we are starving all the time. Intermittent fasting seems to be a path out of obesity that is not miserable.
What's miserable for me these days is reviewing Algebra I with my son. This morning, I will be meeting at the U of M with an advisor to sign up Anne for a college-level calculus course that she will take this fall at the U. I have to serve as her proxy because she is at camp. Meanwhile, I'm having to face that my son managed to get through Algebra I and II without learning basic concepts. He knows he's in trouble, but that doesn't motivate him to put forth the necessary effort to learn the material. Yesterday, he wrote out answers to problems without showing his work because he could do it in his head. I told him it was fine if he could do the work in his head and still get the right answer. He didn't get the right answers on about half the problems and then went back and wrote them out.
It's great that the problem of obesity seems to be over for me because I can now turn my attention to other problems, including getting Tom to the point where he can retake Algebra II. I don't want to be too hard on him because maybe he doesn't know what is required to do well in math, just like I didn't know that intermittent fasting was the effort required to be able to lose weight without feeling starved all the time. I just didn't know, and there have been lots of scientific voices preaching portion control.
10 AM: I got Anne signed up for a higher-level calculus class and got Tom through yet another Algebra I lesson, this one being on the slope of a line. Maybe it's time for me to step back from writing so much about dieting. I sure hope nothing changes and I continue to want to feel light. The more attention I give to the subject of dieting and monitoring of hunger, the worse off I may be -- although I'm not sure if self-monitoring matters anymore. I feel just great feeling light. The exact feeling I have now is one that I would have interpreted as near-starvation. Now I think of it as light and energetic. Maybe once weekly on Sunday nights I can track Temperance Points for the week and steps for the week and plan for the following week. That should be enough. I'm done with all this belly-gazing. Poor Ellie has been hanging around the house for two weeks because of everything that is going on. I told her that things will be much better after tomorrow, which is when Driver's Ed ends for Tom and we can slide into a more relaxed, outdoor schedule. Katie at least has swim team, but Ellie has had lots of driving around with Mom.
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011: 201.4 Apparently, this won't be as smooth a transition as I had hoped. Now I feel uncomfortable no matter what I do. I can stuff myself and feel uncomfortable because even the thought of doing so disgusts me. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast but still feel unsatisfied. Yesterday, I found myself having an incredible number of glasses of 2% milk -- maybe 10. I'm in some sort of disequilibrium and will just wait it out and stick to the diet. I've been slowly reading the Fasting Girls book, and it occurred to me that it is very easy to flip into eating disorders with fasting. I have read enough to appreciate that there must be something dangerous about excessive fasting, and now I appreciate why: you can actually get a high -- like a runner's high -- from fasting. It feels great to fast! What alerted me to the dangers of excessive fasting is my reading that the Greek Orthodox have a rule that those who fast on Sundays are excommunicated. In the Catholic Church, excommunication is rare. In fact, the catechism says that those who procure or assist in the procurement of abortion incur an automatic excommunication although they only incur it if they know that they incur it. Those who have an abortion are told of the rule so that they don't have a second abortion. I don't have any knowledge of why the Catholic Church handles it this way, but I do know of the automatic excommunication from reading about it. That, in part, is why it is so shocking to me that the Greek Orthodox religion would state on the Internet that fasting on Sunday is an offense worthy of excommunication. It seems to me that the taking of a life is far more serious than fasting on a particular day. Given how important fasting is to the Greek Orthodox religion, I am taking very seriously the danger of excessive fasting.
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011: 203.0 Yesterday was a big disappointment. My appetite roared back, and I had a big bowl of popcorn both at lunch at dinner. Why did this happen? I have no idea. I am going to follow the rules of the diet and see what happens to my weight over the long haul. This morning, I was up baking blueberry muffins since it was Father's Day. By 7 AM, I was stuffed and decided to go ahead with my 18 hour fast. That lasted until 3 PM because Tom wanted us to go out for ice cream after visiting a local zoo. I didn't want to skip dinner on Father's Day anyway, and by 3 PM I was no longer feeling stuffed. Now it is 8:30, and I just started my 18 hour fast at 8 PM. For walking, I got to 44,992 steps in 6 days which was 9,992 over my goal of 7,000 steps per day. The pedometer really motivates me, but I want to take it slow. I will increase my goal number of steps by 100 per month.
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 204.4 What a disappointment! It wasn't a surprise, however, because I really ate a lot. The question is this: Why? Why did I eat so much? I had the experience of what it means to feel light and energetic. Right now, I feel loaded down with lead. I am evaluating my plan. I think the Greek Orthodox fasting rules are the most likely to be effective in weight management. Men usually fast twice per week, and women fast three times per week. Maybe I need to fast three times per week. I think the absolute most I am willing to fast is three 24 hour periods. Right now, I'll try three 18 hour periods. That, I think, is easier than two 24 hour periods, and I'm trying to find the easy way out of obesity, the way that requires the least effort over time.
If I retroactively calculate Temperance Points, I think I end up now with -1 as my total. I am on an 18 hour fast now, so I'll be up to zero. I think I'm also going to revise the limitations to fasting so that there must be 24 hours between fasts but that is the only restriction.
7 PM: Today went great, and I ate after 2 so it qualified as a Fast Day. My stomach didn't growl, and I haven't felt hungry at all. We're having a late dinner because of swim team, and I still don't feel hungry.
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 203.6 This morning I woke up with the feeling of lead in my stomach. I again considered fasting but wanted to honor the commitment to have 24 hours between fasts. I also think I should limit my fasts to no more than three per week.
What happened? I had cereal, two walnuts, and a nectarine. I ate about 1/4 of the nectarine before I felt full, but I kept eating because 12 nectarines were $9.99. Now I feel full again. There is no sense of lightness. In fact, it still feels like lead in my stomach.
What is happening here? I think that I may be going through a transition which will be up and down. I had hoped, last week, that it was like flipping a switch. That was not to be. Since I am determined to mange my weight without portion control, something that seems totally laughable, I'm going into unchartered territory and will just have to figure this out for myself. I believe that fasting will teach me moderation. With dieting, I either was stuffed or I was suffering. I felt like I was suffering the instant I wasn't stuffed. It was an endurance contest from the first moment of the diet.
Now I have very defined periods of not eating, and those periods are not difficult because I know they will end. When they end, I recognize that the emptiness in my stomach is not painful and in fact is more pleasant than the feeling of being stuffed. This ying and yang of feast and fast will allow me to identify where between feast and fast I feel most comfortable, and I will gravitate towards eating the amount of food that makes me feel most comfortable. I experienced this last week and will continue to fast and feast to experience it again and again. I could fasting 18 hours up to three times per week. Extending to 24 hours, I think, would be difficult, and going past three per week would be difficult. This seems like the outer edge of what I could do to manage my weight. Now I just need to wait and see the impact of this plan on my weight.
2:30 PM: I just cracked and started eating. It was a surprise -- but not really. This has happened before when I bit off more than I could choose. I'm going back to a maximum of two Fast Days per week and subtraction of only one per Feast Day.
3 PM: I think I'm just going to update once per week and weigh myself once per week. I hope that this approach will give me the patience to change from wanting to be stuffed to wanting to be light. I need to wait and give fasting the time necessary to have my attitude towards food to change. I also need time to relearn Algebra I! My life is about a lot more than my weight and food.
9 PM: Last week's experience of enjoying the feeling of lightness gives me hope that fasting can bring me to the enjoyment of moderation. Today, however, things didn't go so well. I ended up eating a lot right up until dinner and then having dinner and then starting an 18 hour fast. It was a relief to start the fast. I'm having coffee tomorrow but can just have black coffee. In order to be patient through this process, maybe I should refrain from weighing myself except once per month and just focus on the process: how I feel, the steps I'm taking, and the current number of Temperance Points. I retroactively recounted the Temperance Points. Even with today as an Exception Day, I have 1 Temperance Point. By tomorrow afternoon, after an 18 hour fast, I'll have 2. Maybe this is all a game and I won't lose any weight. Still, there was a light from last week, a realization of how it might feel to feel light and energetic.
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011: I woke up at 2 feeling just lousy. It's exactly how I've felt physically when I binged because I couldn't manage a diet. It is different emotionally, however. In breaking a diet, there was both relief and guilt. Now there is no relief and no guilt, since I haven't broken a diet. Instead, I'm experiencing overeating and finding it unpleasant.
I decided it was too complicated to count 18 hours. Since I'm only having a maximum of two Fast Days per week, I think I can stretch them to being from dinner to dinner.
The encouraging aspect of today's situation is that I feel so lousy. I don't want to eat so much again.
7 AM: I am looking forward to my stomach emptying throughout the day. That is encouraging in and of itself. Instead of wanting to maximize food intake, I actually prefer a lighter stomach. There is nothing I desire to eat because I don't desire to put food into my stomach. This diet creates awareness of how my body is responding to food intake. That's good. It's something of an Intuitive Eating approach in that I don't restrict portions, but my experience of Intuitive Eating was terrible. I ate to the point of not being able to move on many occasions, and I gained 10 pounds in six months.
12:30 PM: I'm doing just fine with no food. I am not yet down to a degree of stomach fullness that is optimal. I still feel stuffed.
7:30 PM: I didn't have anything to eat until 6:30 PM, and I felt great. I also did not have a huge meal. I had a bowl of turkey chili with rice, a salad, a nectarine, and milk. Can fasting be a way to learn moderation?
9 PM: Here is something from July, 2011's Cooking Light magazine, page 97: "It's a long stretch from a noontime lunch to a 7 p.m. dinner. Snacking helps manage hunger by keeping your metabolic engine running at a more constant pace, which means you won't attack dinner like a ravenous wolf. Any healthy-eating plan should allow for one or two snacks per day: something nutritious and satisfying. What to snack on: Calcium-rich low-fat dairy foods, full-of-fiber nuts, or naturally sweet, low-calorie fruit."
Oh really? I just went more than 24 hours without any calories, and it didn't bother me one bit.
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011: I put the scale in a cabinet. If I am to focus on process rather than results, I think it is best to limit my weigh-ins to once per month. I want to test out the diet with up to two 24 hours fasts per week. There has been a lot of tweaking over the past two weeks, but the tweaking has all been around fasting and calculation of Temperance Points. Did I want to subtract Temperance Points for each Sunday? If so, how many -- one or two? Should there be a stipulated gap between fasts? Should there be restrictions on when I fast: on Sundays? between Christmas and New Years? in the week after Easter? How long would a fast be? What is the maximum number of times in a week I can fast?
I went back and reviewed a religious book on fasting, and I realized that I was applying rules from what were essentially community fasts to what is for me an individual fast. Back when religion was more uniform in the community, it used to be expected that everyone would fast on certain days. Today, the Muslims have a community fast during their Holy Month, but the only remaining community fasts in Judeo-Christian religions are the Ash Wednesday and Good Friday fasts of Catholics and the Yom Kippur fast of Judaism.
My diet is not a community fast. I can give myself more flexibility in recognition of that fact. This also makes my diet simpler.
1 PM: I ate a very large lunch. Too bad. It may take a long time before I find the equilibrium from fasting that makes me not want to eat so much. I now have my hands full because Katie got placed in the same level of math where Tom was placed. If I request her in the lower level, she will be with kids whom Tommy described as "the kids who swear at the teachers." This means that she needs lots of math tutoring this summer as well. I'm just going to let go of this diet, not worry about eating a lot or not eating a lot, follow the rules, and see what happens. When I was asked about taking a full time job at my last assignment, the manager was surprised that I wouldn't be working in the summer. He has no clue. Being with kids and making sure they are on track is a lot more difficult than any business analyst work.
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011: 202.8 After eating so much yesterday, I was worried about what the scale would say, so I peeked. I think I just need to be patient and see how this plays out over time. I do have more of a sense of self-control, which is wonderful. There were years when i always felt just on the edge of a binge. Part of the reason why I started a journal was to help me to understand by being able to look back and see what I wrote about bingeing. The father of one of my 6th grade daughters is in treatment for alcoholism now, and he is separated from his wife. I wonder how much similarity there is between food addiction and alcohol addiction. Maybe we need fasting, or maybe some of us need fasting as a way to not become obsessed with eating all the time. i don't know. I'm not a scientist. I just know what a negative impact it has been on my life to always be focused on food.
7 AM: It's pathetic, but I changed my diet to allow a 24 hour fast or a fast from one dinner to the next. The reason for this change is that my annual physical is on Monday, and I'd like to fast for 24 hours prior to that. While I would give up most of the free for all eating of a Sunday, at least I would have a lower weight on Monday and would be able to have one fast behind me for the week by the time I get out of that appointment. I dread going to that appointment. Three years ago, my weight was 211. Two years ago, it was 199. Last year, it was 201. She probably thinks I could care less about my weight. It's not true. I've just given up on the conventional wisdom of "portion control" but haven't yet found an approach that works unless this one does.
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011: 203.0 It sounds like semantics, but it is not. I decided to have this as my mantra: "I feel better eating less." That sounds like portion control but is not. Portion control is eating less to lose weight and enduring the accompanying misery. Eating less is changing the amount I eat because I feel better when I eat less. It's taken me a little bit to figure this out, but I have to deliberately aim for eating less in order to achieve the feeling of lightness in my stomach that I've had on Fast Days. The whole advertising approach of dieting without hunger is counterproductive because it can mislead people into thinking there is a way to be thin without any sort of a feeling of hunger. Hunger has such a negative connotation, too. In fact, I think that substituting lightness for hunger may be a good way to go because lightness has a positive connotation.
I am in the habit of eating a certain amount and need to pay attention to what I eat so that I can eat less so that I can aim for that feeling of lightness. The feeling of lightness is the goal, and weight loss will be the result. Right now, once again, I have a feeling of lead in my stomach.
Plato's Republic has a description of the process of a democracy becoming a tyranny, and the tyrant is "leader of the idle desires that insist on all available resources being distributed to them." (Book IX, 573a) There is a natural tendency towards idleness just as there is a natural tendency towards obesity. A person needs to make the decision to work hard or be thin. My son just got up to go shower and go try to caddy. He is 15, and 6:30 in the morning is not his favorite time. He is making the choice until he prefers to work. My oldest made that choice long ago. I am choosing this summer to be organized. I am choosing, every morning, to go through the same order of doing things so, among other things, the dog reliably gets new water and more food. There is a deliberate decision involved. I need to pay attention to the state of my stomach and aim for that feeling of lightness rather than fall back on the habit of eating what I've been eating for years and years. Tom wasn't going to wake up on his own. He needed an alarm. I wasn't going to naturally eat less. I need to make that choice and aim for lightness.
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011: 203.0 I changed the diet again, allowing up to three 24 hours fasts per week and subtracting two points on every Feast Day. The change was prompted by two things: a weight of 203 on a Sunday and the fact that I easily passed on my sister in law's home-baked brownies. Apparently, there isn't much appeal in an exception when it must be earned with a 24 hour fast! My guess is that I will not need many exception days which means I'll almost always be fasting just two days per week. Two days of fasting per week should be sustainable. I decided to have my Feast Day today and just bear with the physical tomorrow. I know I'm higher in weight this year than I was last year and that's just the way it is. I've had many failed experiments.
For my diet, I also decided to formally track exercise. I will track steps by the month and strengthening exercises by the year.
9 PM: I had my S Day today because I figured I'd risk going off the diet this week if I didn't have it. Tomorrow will be a painful visit to the doctor, but that's OK. The doctor isn't very respectful. She has been somewhat disdainful of me because of my weight. I certainly appreciate why fat people don't go to the doctor. Why go to be treated badly? Personally, I blame the obesity epidemic on the medical community for giving counterproductive advise that you need to control portions and eat frequently throughout the day. I'll get through tomorrow, and then I think I'll just weigh myself once per month on or just after the first of the month. If I follow this diet for a year, I should be able to see if there is significant and sustainable weight loss.
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011: If it wasn't for the fact that I needed a signed physical form by a doctor for being able to attend the Family Camp in July, I would not be going to the doctor. Given how I feel about how she's treated me, I should consider changing doctors. It's just plain humiliating to be lectured.
3 PM: The appointment today wasn't humiliating. Instead, it was just stupid. I answered a lot of questions put to me by a nurse's aid and the doctor. They both looked more at the screen than at me. It turned out they had changed computer systems and didn't have a lot of relevant information. They were looking for information on my tetanus shot. I think I'm going to haul down to the Mayo Clinic (two hours away) for my annual physical. My weight was 205 on her scale.
I haven't eaten since 7 PM last night, and I feel fine. I took my son, my two younger daughters, and two of my son's friends to the Mall of America so his two friends (girls) could help our daughter buy clothes for 7th grade. When it came time for lunch, I sent them all off to eat together while I went to pick up clothes they had put on hold. No one noticed I didn't eat. Honestly, there is something about dieting that you think everyone is looking at you, and no one could care. The two friends were all excited about helping a younger girl buy clothes, my son got clothes and shoes he needed, and my youngest went with me. No one noticed I didn't eat. I am beginning to think there is very little need for Exception Days because no one even notices. They would notice if they didn't eat.
6 PM: I ate a nectarine and then I just ate for about 1/2 hour. Now I'm thinking I need to go back and look at my diet and realize that I cannot manage subtracting two from the number of Temperance Points each Feast Day.
8 PM: I'm downright miserable, but I recognized a truth: any diet worth following must be sustainable for life. I took on more than I could handle long-term by deciding to subtract two on each Feast Day.
I'm just back to zero for Temperance Points. I can go on.
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011: 204.0 This has been yet another wild ride. Yesterday I again experienced a binge. It is horrible. I think I'd rather return to my old version of No S and remain at 195 pounds with no hope of going lower than have to deal with binges. It did seem that I could manage with a limit of two Fasts per week, and so what seems most prudent is to return to that idea. I look on the morbidly obese and think that they are the ones who keep trying despite developing a binge reaction. Of course, there are people who just indulge, but I suspect the majority keep trying and trying.
Maybe someday I can go to three Fasts per week. Maybe. I'm going to follow this approach until July of next year.
6:45 AM: I added that my goal is to stay at or under 2 Temperance Points. It seems to me that I've had problems because of the intent to fast more than my body could handle. I am at 0 Temperance Points today. I can fast now no more than two days this week, and I can only fast two days next week if I also take an Exception Day. This diet is not like building up a savings account. Instead it is a way to constantly experience what it means to eat lightly by having frequent experiences of fasting.
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011: 202.8 Katie just got up, and it's not even 6. I have to get Tom to the golf course to caddy. My life is full even with not working, and I haven't made much progress at all towards being better prepared for working. This fall, Anne has to apply to colleges. Both Tom and Katie could have big challenges in math. When am I supposed to have time to diet? The nice thing about this diet is that it should be fairly easy to manage. Today is a Fast Day for me. Given that I made two attempts this week (on Sunday and Monday), I'm just going to have today as a Fast Day and not attempt another one this week. I think that my use of Exception Days will be very minimal since any special treat will have to be worth a 24 hour fast.
5:45 PM: So far so good. I just have to run to pick up Katie from swim team and then we'll eat.
10 PM: I made a Fast Day after two unsuccessful attempts, and I feel good about it. I am tempted to have another Fast Day on Thursday night to Friday night because 2 Temperance Points is my maximum. It feels good to place these restrictions on fasting, although the restrictions do limit flexibility. I also made a change in having two weeks of Free Days, days in which there is no counting of Temperance Points and every day is a day of "unconditional permission to eat." I can then look forward to these days. This change tracks closely with what I understand of Greek Orthodox fasting practice. I trust religion more than science in helping me to create a sustainable diet.
The amazing thing about fasting is that it is so easy now that I am used to it. My stomach did growl a little in late afternoon, but I more or less paid no attention whatsoever to my stomach or any state of hunger. There was no detection on my part of any sort of hunger except when my stomach growled, and I'm getting good at getting through social situations with diet pop or water.
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 201.4 This is the last day of the first month of my diet, and I hope that this day also marks the end of the tweaking of it. My weight is much lower, of course, because it was a Fast Day yesterday, so I expect my weight to go up tomorrow. If I can be at or below 202, that would represent three pounds lost in Month 1, which isn't bad considering the number of changes I made to the diet. I am not experiencing much hunger, if any at all. I just don't think about food throughout the day unless I face a social situation involving food. Our family has dinners together but not so much breakfasts or lunches. Fasting from dinner to dinner is the least socially disruptive way to follow this diet. Tonight is a Boy Scout Court of Honor, and ice cream will be served. Will I have some? No. It's not worth it to have ice cream if the cost is a 24 hour fast. I'll just make myself busy arranging for a delivery to Anne at Boy Scout Camp.
9 AM: I was sloppy in tracking my number of steps at 7,000 per day because I am way over that number. Yesterday I didn't even take the dog for a walk and was over 7,000 steps. On Tuesday, I had over 11,000 steps. On Monday, I forgot my pedometer until late afternoon. Going forward, I'll try to be more careful. The pedometer does seem to help me be more active.
Starting tomorrow, I will do the very minimal strengthening training.
The dog right now is looking quite expectantly at me. It is supposed to be over 90 today, so I'd better get her out soon.
I think that this diet should require minimal effort which is what is needed for sustainability through any sort of up and down in my life in the coming year. The question isn't whether I can follow the diet. The question is how much I will lose following it.
Next July, I can look at the possibility that I should subtract 2 Temperance Points each Feast Day. By then, I will have adjusted to subtracting 1 Temperance Point each Feast Day.
I am tired of all the ups and down. I am upset by recent binges. This diet needs time. One year is plenty for me to see the long-term results.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0 (This month's goal is 182.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 23.0 pounds.) Temperance Points = 0
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing. It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to two times per week, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and a customized version of The No S Diet. For this diet, I give one of five labels to each day:
1. Feast Days: Feast Days are days of "unconditional permission to eat", a term taken from the book Intuitive Eating. All Sundays and only Sundays are Feast Days.
2. Normal Days: These are all days when I have no snacks and no sweets. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no portion control). I also can have caloric liquids any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
3. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for 24 hours or from one dinner to the next. Any eating outside the time of the fast follows the rules of a Normal Day. There must be at least 24 hours between fasts, and I can fast no more than two times per week. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially rules from the Greek Orthodox religion. I am Catholic, not Greek Orthodox, but found much wisdom in reading about fasting practices in the Greek Orthodox religion.
4. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day.
5. Free Days: Free Days are all days from Easter to the Sunday after Easter, inclusive, and from Christmas to New Year's Day, inclusive. On these days, I also have “unconditional permission to eat.â€
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking what I call Temperance Points. Each day, I take the starting balance from the prior day and make adjustments based on the following:
- I neither add nor subtract a point if the prior day was a Normal Day or a Free Day.
- I add one point if the prior day was a Fast Day.
- I subtract one point if the prior day was an Exception Day or a Feast Day that was not also a Free Day.
My eating goal is to stay between 0 and 2, inclusive, for the number of Temperance Points. In addition, I have two very moderate exercise goals. For aerobic activity, I walk at least 7,000 steps per day for all days other than Sunday and increase that number of steps by 100 each month until I reach 10,000 steps. For strengthening exercises, starting each July 1 and continue to June 30 of the next year, I count 150 times of doing the basic program in Strong Women Stay Slim.
Balance for Temperance Points (as of the start of the day):
Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 1
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011:
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011:
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 0
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 1
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 2
Day 11 – Friday, June 17, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 1
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 2
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011: 1
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011: 2
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011:0
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 1
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011: 204.4
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011: 204.0
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 203.2
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011: 203.4
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011: 203.8
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 203.2
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 204.0
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011: 202.0
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 200.6
Day 11 – Friday, June 17, 2011: 201.8
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011: 201.4
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011: 203.0
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 204.4
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 203.6
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011: 202.8
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011: 203.0
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011: 203.0
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011: 204.0
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011: 202.8
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 201.4
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 8, 2011: 204.4
Day 3 – Thursday, June 9, 2011: 204.0 I am basing my approach to dieting on the completely unproven hypothesis that periodic fasting will reduce the amount I want to eat when I do eat. Maybe I am completely wrong. I accept that as a possibility. After Katie's graduation on Tuesday, there was a pool party, and there were some Moms in fantastic shape. One of the other mothers pointed out a woman and said she didn't know who she was. She was the Mom who flew to Washington, DC to run a marathon on Holloween. She also separated from her husband, they both work, and the oldest of their three kids is in sixth grade. It is a matter of priorities. I have no desire whatsoever to have the priorities that I would choose to leave behind three children in elementary school on Holloween night so I can go run a marathon. Does that make my choices better than hers? Well, certainly, not many people would choose to abandon a portion control approach when they are stuck above 200 pounds. Sometimes we serve as lessons to others, sometimes we serve as inspiration, and sometimes we serve as warnings. Right now, I'm more of a tornado siren than an inspiration, but I am hopeful.
3 PM: I decided that an 18 hour fast would be enough. That's little more than skipping breakfast and having a late lunch. The reason why I decided that is that, while I was walking the dog, I realized it felt downright pleasant to have a stomach that was empty. It is the sensation of lightness on Fast Days that I believe will lead to my successfully, permanently, and easily becoming thin. I am testing this theory. I was confident that No S without portion control would work, too, so I need to preserve an element of skepticism and take a "wait and see" attitude. There has been so much up and down since I gave up on No S and started experimenting that I think I'd like to stick with this plan until next summer. There is really very little change except that I will experience some lightness from the 18 hour fast. There is nothing frightening about fasting when you know it will end in 18 hours and you can eat as much as you want at the next meal. The remaining question is whether I'll lose any weight.
9 PM: Today was very busy because everyone except Ellie had something going on, and she was quite unhappy to be stuck at home. Now school is done, and we have started working with Tom on math. Tonight I attended a meeting on the Boy Scout camp, and it gave me some time to think about what has happened this past month. I feel calm, very calm. It is hard to describe but doing the minimum seems to be a good approach because I don't have to worry about any sort of marathon fasting or rules that are too onerous to follow. It seems almost absurd that I would lose weight with this approach when all I've done is add some days when I skip breakfast. Why am I hopeful? Well, it may be that I'm just engaging in self-deception. Still, I think I am hopeful because fasting -- even an 18 hour fast -- gets me accustomed to the feeling of emptiness in my stomach. It makes me realize that stuffed is not the only state of my stomach which is not painful.
I think that all those years of dieting created a sense of panic in me whenever I sensed any fullness in my stomach less than stuffed. Why? Maybe my diet had more staying power the more stuffed my stomach was. I really have no idea why I got to the point of eating to stuffed every time I had a chance or bingeing every time I even thought about portion control. There was something not chosen about my actions. I didn't choose to binge. I didn't choose to stuff myself. The emotional brain took over, the same brain that got me to the surface of the water when my brother held me underwater when I was 10.
"Doing the minimum" -- such a simple program as this -- allows me to calm down and restrict without any sort of rebellion on the part of a body determined not to starve to death. The obese starving... That's what I see when I see obese people. I bet 90% of them at least are locked in a battle with their body and only 10% at most have given up and are simply indulging. There is such suffering in the life of a person who is obese and tries again and again to lose weight.
Day 4 – Friday, June 10, 2011: 203.2 One husband, one daughter, and one dog got up when I got up. I vaguely remember experiencing the feeling of lightness when I was young. I felt energized. I have one memory of this, and I think it's because it was so the norm that I didn't pay attention to it. Now I'm saddled with saddlebags. The feeling that is positive is in my stomach. It does not feel painful, and I have experienced it recently when my stomach growled. It is a feeling of lightness and energy. I went from the norm (when I was young) being that light feeling that I experienced yesterday to being in a panic if I wasn't stuffed, and I blame those years of dieting for that change.
Ellie just asked if she could take down Easter decorations on the window. I sure don't know how mothers work full time!
6 PM: Tom got in at 2:15 AM from Puerto Rico and he just left with Tommy for a weekend of backpacking to prepare for backpacking with the boys in August in New Mexico. I took a picture of the two of them in Boy Scout uniforms with backpacks on and told Tom he looks like someone I would have married! Life is so full of joy... The years of panicky concern about food certainly hurt my enjoyment of life. I feel a little bit like I just took off a backpack after all these years.
8:30 PM: This afternoon, when I went to pick up Tommy from Driver's Ed (always driving kids around!), I stopped at Office Max and picked up an academic calendar that begins July 1. I then created a June calendar and numbered the days starting with June 7, 2011 as Day 1 and June 30, 2012 as Day 390. I think I've found a narrow path to weight loss and it is a change in perception of what it used to me to feel as light. I know I've felt this same feeling and reacted with panic.
It would be pure stupidity to rush the adjustment process. If I can just fast for 18 hours one day per week, then eventually I believe that I can learn to enjoy that feeling of lightness. If I enjoy that feeling of lightness, then wouldn't it make sense that I would want to experience that feeling on days other than Fast Days as well?
There is this ray of hope that lightness is the way out, that finding enjoyable what used to feel like torture is the way out.
Day 5 – Saturday, June 11, 2011: 203.4 I ate a lot last night, including an entire bowl of popcorn. Popcorn seems to be the best food for me to eat when I just feel like eating a lot. Now, this morning, I still have food in my stomach and am thinking about how much nicer it felt to have that feeling of lightness. Today is a beautiful summer day, I allowed the girls to watch Netflix last night as long as they wanted because we are changing the plan so that they can only watch 2 hours per month of the online movies plus get two movies. Given that we don't have access to TV shows, that change will affect their viewing habits. I let them watch hours and hours this week as I scrambled to figure out what we can do with Tommy and math. I met with a guidance counselor for about 45 minutes yesterday morning and the best option looks like his repeating Algebra II this coming year. Since he was in the advanced program taking 11th grade math in 9th grade, it won't look bad that he's taking 11th grade math in 10th grade. He's following the course selection that Anne took.
I had one week to dig deeper to figure out that his B in Algebra II was the tip of the iceberg: it's not that he didn't study or didn't try or didn't care. It's that he didn't understand. I told him I'd much rather deal with didn't understand than didn't try.
My focus for way too many years has been on my weight and dieting, with the minute to minute endurance required from portion control dieting. Yesterday all day I did not think about food. I thought about getting Katie to the orthodontist and getting Tommy to Driver's Ed and hunting down someone at the high school (by literally showing up there, since they didn't answer their phones).
Tom thought my approach was way too intense, but what he doesn't realize is that the school is now closed and no one can be reached to discuss anything. I had to gather information now to figure out what our options could be for the summer. It's going to be a lot easier to review Algebra I with him than it would have been to make sure he understood both Algebra I and Algebra II.
I still have to find some workbooks he can use, and his 6th grade teacher recommended a store. She also is gone.
This week is an example of why I don't want my focus on food and weight. Had I not recognized that Tom didn't get Algebra I and II, which I apparently didn't when he finished Algebra I, then he would have walked into Pre-Calc and hit a brick wall. The guidance counselor let me know that homework is used in computing the grade in Algebra I and II but test results are almost all of the grade in Pre-Calc. Tom could slide by using on line helps to do his homework correctly in Algebra I and II but not manage in Pre-Calc. PLUS -- he wants to be a doctor! He needs to actually know math!
My life. My problems. I'm shifting focus. I do think that teaching my kids to manage their eating is a very important job for a parent, and I have failed miserably because of my up and down dieting. This fasting approach does seem to trigger some memories of how I used to feel, or rather of how my stomach used to feel. This morning's stomach feels heavy and uncomfortable. It's the lightness I experienced with fasting that was more the norm. I can hardly wait to see what happens over time! I'll give it a year -- until next July 1. That will give me the month of June next year, when I again will not be working, to figure out what change I might want to make. I do think I will start tracking strengthening exercises as of July 1 and try to get to 150 by July 1 of next year, but that's the only addition I want to make.
11 AM: I have to get Anne to the Boy Scout store to get shorts, and then we'll enjoy the rest of the day. While I was walking the dog, it occurred to me that this 18 hour fast is so easy that I almost made it today, since I ate about 7 PM and didn't eat until after 9 because I was still so stuffed from last night. I think I'm going to have Feast Days automatically get deductions from Temperance Points just so that I am forced to fast an average of at least once per week. The fact that I got up at 6 this morning and did not eat until after 9 is a good sign.
Day 6 – Sunday, June 12, 2011: 203.8 I woke up this morning thinking I'd rather have a Fast Day today than a Feast Day. Why? I think I'd feel better. It felt good to be light. By 1 PM, after having had a frappachino from Starbucks and Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip ice cream and Pepperidge Fudge Chocolate Cake, I decided I'd had enough and started my fast at 1 PM. That will allow me to end my 18 hour fast in time to have breakfast at 7 and get four kids to six different activities tomorrow. I bet I log 150 miles in the van tomorrow, and I figured I'd rather have breakfast than not. This diet certainly has a lot of flexibility and is really easy to follow. I like the idea of having to subtract one from my Temperance Balance every Sunday. This gives me the flexibility to do with the day what I want even if I decide not to eat a lot that day. It also forces me to have 18 hours fasts which, frankly, are very easy for me at this point. I do hope I lose weight following this diet. It seems too easy to be effective, and that may well be the case.
I walked 31,169 steps from Tuesday to Saturday, giving me my goal of 7,000 per day plus 3,168 as a bonus. That is a minimum for walking, and I'm fine with that.
Day 7 – Monday, June 13, 2011: 203.2 I believe this is the first time in my No S diet that my Monday weight was lower than my Sunday weight. It was easier to fast from after lunch to this morning since I slept during the latter part of the fast, but I don't want to give up dinner with my family as a routine. Last night didn't matter because Tom and Tommy were returning from backpacking, but generally it would matter except when we have both swim team and Scouts on a Thursday night.
7 PM: I want to write out why I think this diet works. There are two aspects of the human being that I think make this diet work. The first aspect is that habit is the key to the development of virtue, as described by Aristotle in his Ethics. The person who chooses virtue consistently doesn't have to think about being virtuous. The second aspect of the human being is that there is a part of the human brain that reacts without thinking. I have a personal memory that demonstrated that aspect of my humanity to me when I was about ten and my brother, goofing around as brothers do, held me underwater. I had what seemed like superhuman strength as I pushed to get my head above water. I did not choose that action. I just did it.
Pavlov, in his famous experiments, measured extra salivation in dogs when a bell was rung because the ringing of a bell was consistently followed by the serving of food to the dogs. With the human being, I believe, consistent meal timing can be like that bell. If there is a disruption in meal timing, the human reacts with hunger that is very persuasive, so persuasive that it seems to me to be triggered by the same reptilian brain that got me to the surface of the water. I believe that consistent meal timing can create a hunger that is so persuasive because the reptilian brain thinks starvation is just around the corner if a meal is delayed.
This diet, I think, allows me to avoid the feeling of hunger because there is a pattern of eating that is not detectable by the reptilian brain. A pattern of eating in which there is fasting for 18 hours once or twice per week is inconsistent enough that the reptilian brain does not anticipate food and so does not get hungry and demand food. Also, because I don't control my portions at all, my reptilian brain is not concerned about the quantity of food when I do eat.
How can fasting become a habit? The thinking brain can know that there is a habit of fasting once or twice per week and can anticipate and accept this pattern which is too inconsistent for the reptilian brain to detect.
Tonight, we did not get home until 7:30 because I picked up Anne and a friend from an amusement park and then turned around and picked up Tom and Katie (late) from swim team. Did I feel hungry because I ate after 7:30? Not at all. I'm not feeling hungry at all. It's really bizarre.
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 14, 2011: 204.0 This morning, I woke up about 3 AM feeling like I had lead in my stomach. It was not lead; it was food. Today is not a Fast Day. What to do? I decided that maybe I should just eat less, so I slept in (at least for me, to 7 AM) and then had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with blueberries. My hypothesis was that fasting would affect how much I wanted to eat on other days, but I hadn't actually experienced an effect until this morning. I don't like how I feel at all. I feel weighed down, and I can contrast that feeling to the feeling of lightness I felt with fasting. Had I not had a restriction of fasting to Mondays and Thursdays, I would have decided to try a fast today. I read in several old religious texts the warning against excessive fasting. I wonder if the warning is due to people ending up with eating disorders if they fast more than twice per week. There's a book I bought but never read called Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa. I just found it and think I'll read it.
5 PM: I have a slight sensation of hunger, and it feels really good. How is that? I don't know. This is the exact same feeling that I've had that sent me into a panic that I need to have food NOW!!! I didn't have much for breakfast or lunch. No bowls of popcorn. No enormous pieces of watermelon. No peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. Wouldn't it be wonderful if this change is like flipping a light switch and I won't be back?
9 PM: It was a light switch, and it was a light switch that cannot be described in any way that is adequate. Some things must be experienced, like the birth of your child or being in love. That's how I feel now about going from needing to be stuffed to wanting to feel light. I cannot describe it.
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 15, 2011: 202.0 It almost seems like the result of an exorcism: the driving desire to eat and eat and eat, like a little devil, is now out of me. It's just gone. The closest analogy I can give is the shocking change that you see in driving from Hood River, OR to The Dalles, OR, a drive of about 15 miles. Hood River is lush and wooded; The Dalles is in a desert. There is a distance of approximately two miles where trees thin out until there are none. Do I want a large breakfast this morning? No. Absolutely not. The thought of stuffing myself is repulsive. Like a distance of two miles being the difference between wooded and barren of trees, so the last two weeks or so have been the transition from wanting to eat as much as I can to wanting a feeling of lightness.
Today, I'll be driving Anne to be a camp counselor near the headwaters of the Mississippi, which is about five hours' drive from here. It was for Anne that I persevered. I did not want her to suffer the misery of constant dieting. She is only 17. She has her life before her. I want her to be lead a long and healthy life.
Yesterday, to my shock, my 10 year old daughter received a call letting me know that someone I had known more than 20 years ago had died of diabetes and liver failure. He was perhaps 60 years old. Life is short enough without having obesity shorten it even more. I want a long and healthy life for Anne.
I once gave my mother a paperweight that read, "A mother's love is from above." I love Anne so much it brings tears to my eyes. She will be gone all summer. I'm happy for her and happy we'll be at the camp (Family Camp) for a week of her time there. The greatest gift I think I can give her is a path to a healthy weight that doesn't disrupt her life and occupy her thoughts, a path which gives her the ability to focus on what is really important, her own life and her own family, perhaps someday.
9 PM: Anne and I had lunch before noon, I dropped her off and was on my way home by 1:30, and I decided to fast 16 hours from lunch today rather than wait for tomorrow since I assumed I would miss dinner with the family. I like the flexibility of choosing Fast Days, so I changed the restriction from Monday and Thursday only to a maximum of two days per week and not on consecutive days.
I also removed mention of walking just because I'm not sure how I'm going to handle exercise. I think I may start with an average of 7,000 steps per day for six days per week and then increase that number by 100 per day each month.
Day 10 – Thursday, June 16, 2011: 200.6 My weight is lower because I haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch. I do not feel as though I am starving. I just started oatmeal, so I won't eat for more than an hour from now, and that's just fine. The driving desire to eat and eat and eat seems to be gone, and I hope it's gone for good. I just could not believe that God would want us to be miserable, torn between obesity and feeling like we are starving all the time. Intermittent fasting seems to be a path out of obesity that is not miserable.
What's miserable for me these days is reviewing Algebra I with my son. This morning, I will be meeting at the U of M with an advisor to sign up Anne for a college-level calculus course that she will take this fall at the U. I have to serve as her proxy because she is at camp. Meanwhile, I'm having to face that my son managed to get through Algebra I and II without learning basic concepts. He knows he's in trouble, but that doesn't motivate him to put forth the necessary effort to learn the material. Yesterday, he wrote out answers to problems without showing his work because he could do it in his head. I told him it was fine if he could do the work in his head and still get the right answer. He didn't get the right answers on about half the problems and then went back and wrote them out.
It's great that the problem of obesity seems to be over for me because I can now turn my attention to other problems, including getting Tom to the point where he can retake Algebra II. I don't want to be too hard on him because maybe he doesn't know what is required to do well in math, just like I didn't know that intermittent fasting was the effort required to be able to lose weight without feeling starved all the time. I just didn't know, and there have been lots of scientific voices preaching portion control.
10 AM: I got Anne signed up for a higher-level calculus class and got Tom through yet another Algebra I lesson, this one being on the slope of a line. Maybe it's time for me to step back from writing so much about dieting. I sure hope nothing changes and I continue to want to feel light. The more attention I give to the subject of dieting and monitoring of hunger, the worse off I may be -- although I'm not sure if self-monitoring matters anymore. I feel just great feeling light. The exact feeling I have now is one that I would have interpreted as near-starvation. Now I think of it as light and energetic. Maybe once weekly on Sunday nights I can track Temperance Points for the week and steps for the week and plan for the following week. That should be enough. I'm done with all this belly-gazing. Poor Ellie has been hanging around the house for two weeks because of everything that is going on. I told her that things will be much better after tomorrow, which is when Driver's Ed ends for Tom and we can slide into a more relaxed, outdoor schedule. Katie at least has swim team, but Ellie has had lots of driving around with Mom.
Day 12 – Saturday, June 18, 2011: 201.4 Apparently, this won't be as smooth a transition as I had hoped. Now I feel uncomfortable no matter what I do. I can stuff myself and feel uncomfortable because even the thought of doing so disgusts me. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast but still feel unsatisfied. Yesterday, I found myself having an incredible number of glasses of 2% milk -- maybe 10. I'm in some sort of disequilibrium and will just wait it out and stick to the diet. I've been slowly reading the Fasting Girls book, and it occurred to me that it is very easy to flip into eating disorders with fasting. I have read enough to appreciate that there must be something dangerous about excessive fasting, and now I appreciate why: you can actually get a high -- like a runner's high -- from fasting. It feels great to fast! What alerted me to the dangers of excessive fasting is my reading that the Greek Orthodox have a rule that those who fast on Sundays are excommunicated. In the Catholic Church, excommunication is rare. In fact, the catechism says that those who procure or assist in the procurement of abortion incur an automatic excommunication although they only incur it if they know that they incur it. Those who have an abortion are told of the rule so that they don't have a second abortion. I don't have any knowledge of why the Catholic Church handles it this way, but I do know of the automatic excommunication from reading about it. That, in part, is why it is so shocking to me that the Greek Orthodox religion would state on the Internet that fasting on Sunday is an offense worthy of excommunication. It seems to me that the taking of a life is far more serious than fasting on a particular day. Given how important fasting is to the Greek Orthodox religion, I am taking very seriously the danger of excessive fasting.
Day 13 – Sunday, June 19, 2011: 203.0 Yesterday was a big disappointment. My appetite roared back, and I had a big bowl of popcorn both at lunch at dinner. Why did this happen? I have no idea. I am going to follow the rules of the diet and see what happens to my weight over the long haul. This morning, I was up baking blueberry muffins since it was Father's Day. By 7 AM, I was stuffed and decided to go ahead with my 18 hour fast. That lasted until 3 PM because Tom wanted us to go out for ice cream after visiting a local zoo. I didn't want to skip dinner on Father's Day anyway, and by 3 PM I was no longer feeling stuffed. Now it is 8:30, and I just started my 18 hour fast at 8 PM. For walking, I got to 44,992 steps in 6 days which was 9,992 over my goal of 7,000 steps per day. The pedometer really motivates me, but I want to take it slow. I will increase my goal number of steps by 100 per month.
Day 14 – Monday, June 20, 2011: 204.4 What a disappointment! It wasn't a surprise, however, because I really ate a lot. The question is this: Why? Why did I eat so much? I had the experience of what it means to feel light and energetic. Right now, I feel loaded down with lead. I am evaluating my plan. I think the Greek Orthodox fasting rules are the most likely to be effective in weight management. Men usually fast twice per week, and women fast three times per week. Maybe I need to fast three times per week. I think the absolute most I am willing to fast is three 24 hour periods. Right now, I'll try three 18 hour periods. That, I think, is easier than two 24 hour periods, and I'm trying to find the easy way out of obesity, the way that requires the least effort over time.
If I retroactively calculate Temperance Points, I think I end up now with -1 as my total. I am on an 18 hour fast now, so I'll be up to zero. I think I'm also going to revise the limitations to fasting so that there must be 24 hours between fasts but that is the only restriction.
7 PM: Today went great, and I ate after 2 so it qualified as a Fast Day. My stomach didn't growl, and I haven't felt hungry at all. We're having a late dinner because of swim team, and I still don't feel hungry.
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 21, 2011: 203.6 This morning I woke up with the feeling of lead in my stomach. I again considered fasting but wanted to honor the commitment to have 24 hours between fasts. I also think I should limit my fasts to no more than three per week.
What happened? I had cereal, two walnuts, and a nectarine. I ate about 1/4 of the nectarine before I felt full, but I kept eating because 12 nectarines were $9.99. Now I feel full again. There is no sense of lightness. In fact, it still feels like lead in my stomach.
What is happening here? I think that I may be going through a transition which will be up and down. I had hoped, last week, that it was like flipping a switch. That was not to be. Since I am determined to mange my weight without portion control, something that seems totally laughable, I'm going into unchartered territory and will just have to figure this out for myself. I believe that fasting will teach me moderation. With dieting, I either was stuffed or I was suffering. I felt like I was suffering the instant I wasn't stuffed. It was an endurance contest from the first moment of the diet.
Now I have very defined periods of not eating, and those periods are not difficult because I know they will end. When they end, I recognize that the emptiness in my stomach is not painful and in fact is more pleasant than the feeling of being stuffed. This ying and yang of feast and fast will allow me to identify where between feast and fast I feel most comfortable, and I will gravitate towards eating the amount of food that makes me feel most comfortable. I experienced this last week and will continue to fast and feast to experience it again and again. I could fasting 18 hours up to three times per week. Extending to 24 hours, I think, would be difficult, and going past three per week would be difficult. This seems like the outer edge of what I could do to manage my weight. Now I just need to wait and see the impact of this plan on my weight.
2:30 PM: I just cracked and started eating. It was a surprise -- but not really. This has happened before when I bit off more than I could choose. I'm going back to a maximum of two Fast Days per week and subtraction of only one per Feast Day.
3 PM: I think I'm just going to update once per week and weigh myself once per week. I hope that this approach will give me the patience to change from wanting to be stuffed to wanting to be light. I need to wait and give fasting the time necessary to have my attitude towards food to change. I also need time to relearn Algebra I! My life is about a lot more than my weight and food.
9 PM: Last week's experience of enjoying the feeling of lightness gives me hope that fasting can bring me to the enjoyment of moderation. Today, however, things didn't go so well. I ended up eating a lot right up until dinner and then having dinner and then starting an 18 hour fast. It was a relief to start the fast. I'm having coffee tomorrow but can just have black coffee. In order to be patient through this process, maybe I should refrain from weighing myself except once per month and just focus on the process: how I feel, the steps I'm taking, and the current number of Temperance Points. I retroactively recounted the Temperance Points. Even with today as an Exception Day, I have 1 Temperance Point. By tomorrow afternoon, after an 18 hour fast, I'll have 2. Maybe this is all a game and I won't lose any weight. Still, there was a light from last week, a realization of how it might feel to feel light and energetic.
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 22, 2011: I woke up at 2 feeling just lousy. It's exactly how I've felt physically when I binged because I couldn't manage a diet. It is different emotionally, however. In breaking a diet, there was both relief and guilt. Now there is no relief and no guilt, since I haven't broken a diet. Instead, I'm experiencing overeating and finding it unpleasant.
I decided it was too complicated to count 18 hours. Since I'm only having a maximum of two Fast Days per week, I think I can stretch them to being from dinner to dinner.
The encouraging aspect of today's situation is that I feel so lousy. I don't want to eat so much again.
7 AM: I am looking forward to my stomach emptying throughout the day. That is encouraging in and of itself. Instead of wanting to maximize food intake, I actually prefer a lighter stomach. There is nothing I desire to eat because I don't desire to put food into my stomach. This diet creates awareness of how my body is responding to food intake. That's good. It's something of an Intuitive Eating approach in that I don't restrict portions, but my experience of Intuitive Eating was terrible. I ate to the point of not being able to move on many occasions, and I gained 10 pounds in six months.
12:30 PM: I'm doing just fine with no food. I am not yet down to a degree of stomach fullness that is optimal. I still feel stuffed.
7:30 PM: I didn't have anything to eat until 6:30 PM, and I felt great. I also did not have a huge meal. I had a bowl of turkey chili with rice, a salad, a nectarine, and milk. Can fasting be a way to learn moderation?
9 PM: Here is something from July, 2011's Cooking Light magazine, page 97: "It's a long stretch from a noontime lunch to a 7 p.m. dinner. Snacking helps manage hunger by keeping your metabolic engine running at a more constant pace, which means you won't attack dinner like a ravenous wolf. Any healthy-eating plan should allow for one or two snacks per day: something nutritious and satisfying. What to snack on: Calcium-rich low-fat dairy foods, full-of-fiber nuts, or naturally sweet, low-calorie fruit."
Oh really? I just went more than 24 hours without any calories, and it didn't bother me one bit.
Day 17 – Thursday, June 23, 2011: I put the scale in a cabinet. If I am to focus on process rather than results, I think it is best to limit my weigh-ins to once per month. I want to test out the diet with up to two 24 hours fasts per week. There has been a lot of tweaking over the past two weeks, but the tweaking has all been around fasting and calculation of Temperance Points. Did I want to subtract Temperance Points for each Sunday? If so, how many -- one or two? Should there be a stipulated gap between fasts? Should there be restrictions on when I fast: on Sundays? between Christmas and New Years? in the week after Easter? How long would a fast be? What is the maximum number of times in a week I can fast?
I went back and reviewed a religious book on fasting, and I realized that I was applying rules from what were essentially community fasts to what is for me an individual fast. Back when religion was more uniform in the community, it used to be expected that everyone would fast on certain days. Today, the Muslims have a community fast during their Holy Month, but the only remaining community fasts in Judeo-Christian religions are the Ash Wednesday and Good Friday fasts of Catholics and the Yom Kippur fast of Judaism.
My diet is not a community fast. I can give myself more flexibility in recognition of that fact. This also makes my diet simpler.
1 PM: I ate a very large lunch. Too bad. It may take a long time before I find the equilibrium from fasting that makes me not want to eat so much. I now have my hands full because Katie got placed in the same level of math where Tom was placed. If I request her in the lower level, she will be with kids whom Tommy described as "the kids who swear at the teachers." This means that she needs lots of math tutoring this summer as well. I'm just going to let go of this diet, not worry about eating a lot or not eating a lot, follow the rules, and see what happens. When I was asked about taking a full time job at my last assignment, the manager was surprised that I wouldn't be working in the summer. He has no clue. Being with kids and making sure they are on track is a lot more difficult than any business analyst work.
Day 18 – Friday, June 24, 2011: 202.8 After eating so much yesterday, I was worried about what the scale would say, so I peeked. I think I just need to be patient and see how this plays out over time. I do have more of a sense of self-control, which is wonderful. There were years when i always felt just on the edge of a binge. Part of the reason why I started a journal was to help me to understand by being able to look back and see what I wrote about bingeing. The father of one of my 6th grade daughters is in treatment for alcoholism now, and he is separated from his wife. I wonder how much similarity there is between food addiction and alcohol addiction. Maybe we need fasting, or maybe some of us need fasting as a way to not become obsessed with eating all the time. i don't know. I'm not a scientist. I just know what a negative impact it has been on my life to always be focused on food.
7 AM: It's pathetic, but I changed my diet to allow a 24 hour fast or a fast from one dinner to the next. The reason for this change is that my annual physical is on Monday, and I'd like to fast for 24 hours prior to that. While I would give up most of the free for all eating of a Sunday, at least I would have a lower weight on Monday and would be able to have one fast behind me for the week by the time I get out of that appointment. I dread going to that appointment. Three years ago, my weight was 211. Two years ago, it was 199. Last year, it was 201. She probably thinks I could care less about my weight. It's not true. I've just given up on the conventional wisdom of "portion control" but haven't yet found an approach that works unless this one does.
Day 19 – Saturday, June 25, 2011: 203.0 It sounds like semantics, but it is not. I decided to have this as my mantra: "I feel better eating less." That sounds like portion control but is not. Portion control is eating less to lose weight and enduring the accompanying misery. Eating less is changing the amount I eat because I feel better when I eat less. It's taken me a little bit to figure this out, but I have to deliberately aim for eating less in order to achieve the feeling of lightness in my stomach that I've had on Fast Days. The whole advertising approach of dieting without hunger is counterproductive because it can mislead people into thinking there is a way to be thin without any sort of a feeling of hunger. Hunger has such a negative connotation, too. In fact, I think that substituting lightness for hunger may be a good way to go because lightness has a positive connotation.
I am in the habit of eating a certain amount and need to pay attention to what I eat so that I can eat less so that I can aim for that feeling of lightness. The feeling of lightness is the goal, and weight loss will be the result. Right now, once again, I have a feeling of lead in my stomach.
Plato's Republic has a description of the process of a democracy becoming a tyranny, and the tyrant is "leader of the idle desires that insist on all available resources being distributed to them." (Book IX, 573a) There is a natural tendency towards idleness just as there is a natural tendency towards obesity. A person needs to make the decision to work hard or be thin. My son just got up to go shower and go try to caddy. He is 15, and 6:30 in the morning is not his favorite time. He is making the choice until he prefers to work. My oldest made that choice long ago. I am choosing this summer to be organized. I am choosing, every morning, to go through the same order of doing things so, among other things, the dog reliably gets new water and more food. There is a deliberate decision involved. I need to pay attention to the state of my stomach and aim for that feeling of lightness rather than fall back on the habit of eating what I've been eating for years and years. Tom wasn't going to wake up on his own. He needed an alarm. I wasn't going to naturally eat less. I need to make that choice and aim for lightness.
Day 20 – Sunday, June 26, 2011: 203.0 I changed the diet again, allowing up to three 24 hours fasts per week and subtracting two points on every Feast Day. The change was prompted by two things: a weight of 203 on a Sunday and the fact that I easily passed on my sister in law's home-baked brownies. Apparently, there isn't much appeal in an exception when it must be earned with a 24 hour fast! My guess is that I will not need many exception days which means I'll almost always be fasting just two days per week. Two days of fasting per week should be sustainable. I decided to have my Feast Day today and just bear with the physical tomorrow. I know I'm higher in weight this year than I was last year and that's just the way it is. I've had many failed experiments.
For my diet, I also decided to formally track exercise. I will track steps by the month and strengthening exercises by the year.
9 PM: I had my S Day today because I figured I'd risk going off the diet this week if I didn't have it. Tomorrow will be a painful visit to the doctor, but that's OK. The doctor isn't very respectful. She has been somewhat disdainful of me because of my weight. I certainly appreciate why fat people don't go to the doctor. Why go to be treated badly? Personally, I blame the obesity epidemic on the medical community for giving counterproductive advise that you need to control portions and eat frequently throughout the day. I'll get through tomorrow, and then I think I'll just weigh myself once per month on or just after the first of the month. If I follow this diet for a year, I should be able to see if there is significant and sustainable weight loss.
Day 21 – Monday, June 27, 2011: If it wasn't for the fact that I needed a signed physical form by a doctor for being able to attend the Family Camp in July, I would not be going to the doctor. Given how I feel about how she's treated me, I should consider changing doctors. It's just plain humiliating to be lectured.
3 PM: The appointment today wasn't humiliating. Instead, it was just stupid. I answered a lot of questions put to me by a nurse's aid and the doctor. They both looked more at the screen than at me. It turned out they had changed computer systems and didn't have a lot of relevant information. They were looking for information on my tetanus shot. I think I'm going to haul down to the Mayo Clinic (two hours away) for my annual physical. My weight was 205 on her scale.
I haven't eaten since 7 PM last night, and I feel fine. I took my son, my two younger daughters, and two of my son's friends to the Mall of America so his two friends (girls) could help our daughter buy clothes for 7th grade. When it came time for lunch, I sent them all off to eat together while I went to pick up clothes they had put on hold. No one noticed I didn't eat. Honestly, there is something about dieting that you think everyone is looking at you, and no one could care. The two friends were all excited about helping a younger girl buy clothes, my son got clothes and shoes he needed, and my youngest went with me. No one noticed I didn't eat. I am beginning to think there is very little need for Exception Days because no one even notices. They would notice if they didn't eat.
6 PM: I ate a nectarine and then I just ate for about 1/2 hour. Now I'm thinking I need to go back and look at my diet and realize that I cannot manage subtracting two from the number of Temperance Points each Feast Day.
8 PM: I'm downright miserable, but I recognized a truth: any diet worth following must be sustainable for life. I took on more than I could handle long-term by deciding to subtract two on each Feast Day.
I'm just back to zero for Temperance Points. I can go on.
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 28, 2011: 204.0 This has been yet another wild ride. Yesterday I again experienced a binge. It is horrible. I think I'd rather return to my old version of No S and remain at 195 pounds with no hope of going lower than have to deal with binges. It did seem that I could manage with a limit of two Fasts per week, and so what seems most prudent is to return to that idea. I look on the morbidly obese and think that they are the ones who keep trying despite developing a binge reaction. Of course, there are people who just indulge, but I suspect the majority keep trying and trying.
Maybe someday I can go to three Fasts per week. Maybe. I'm going to follow this approach until July of next year.
6:45 AM: I added that my goal is to stay at or under 2 Temperance Points. It seems to me that I've had problems because of the intent to fast more than my body could handle. I am at 0 Temperance Points today. I can fast now no more than two days this week, and I can only fast two days next week if I also take an Exception Day. This diet is not like building up a savings account. Instead it is a way to constantly experience what it means to eat lightly by having frequent experiences of fasting.
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 29, 2011: 202.8 Katie just got up, and it's not even 6. I have to get Tom to the golf course to caddy. My life is full even with not working, and I haven't made much progress at all towards being better prepared for working. This fall, Anne has to apply to colleges. Both Tom and Katie could have big challenges in math. When am I supposed to have time to diet? The nice thing about this diet is that it should be fairly easy to manage. Today is a Fast Day for me. Given that I made two attempts this week (on Sunday and Monday), I'm just going to have today as a Fast Day and not attempt another one this week. I think that my use of Exception Days will be very minimal since any special treat will have to be worth a 24 hour fast.
5:45 PM: So far so good. I just have to run to pick up Katie from swim team and then we'll eat.
10 PM: I made a Fast Day after two unsuccessful attempts, and I feel good about it. I am tempted to have another Fast Day on Thursday night to Friday night because 2 Temperance Points is my maximum. It feels good to place these restrictions on fasting, although the restrictions do limit flexibility. I also made a change in having two weeks of Free Days, days in which there is no counting of Temperance Points and every day is a day of "unconditional permission to eat." I can then look forward to these days. This change tracks closely with what I understand of Greek Orthodox fasting practice. I trust religion more than science in helping me to create a sustainable diet.
The amazing thing about fasting is that it is so easy now that I am used to it. My stomach did growl a little in late afternoon, but I more or less paid no attention whatsoever to my stomach or any state of hunger. There was no detection on my part of any sort of hunger except when my stomach growled, and I'm getting good at getting through social situations with diet pop or water.
Day 24 – Thursday, June 30, 2011: 201.4 This is the last day of the first month of my diet, and I hope that this day also marks the end of the tweaking of it. My weight is much lower, of course, because it was a Fast Day yesterday, so I expect my weight to go up tomorrow. If I can be at or below 202, that would represent three pounds lost in Month 1, which isn't bad considering the number of changes I made to the diet. I am not experiencing much hunger, if any at all. I just don't think about food throughout the day unless I face a social situation involving food. Our family has dinners together but not so much breakfasts or lunches. Fasting from dinner to dinner is the least socially disruptive way to follow this diet. Tonight is a Boy Scout Court of Honor, and ice cream will be served. Will I have some? No. It's not worth it to have ice cream if the cost is a 24 hour fast. I'll just make myself busy arranging for a delivery to Anne at Boy Scout Camp.
9 AM: I was sloppy in tracking my number of steps at 7,000 per day because I am way over that number. Yesterday I didn't even take the dog for a walk and was over 7,000 steps. On Tuesday, I had over 11,000 steps. On Monday, I forgot my pedometer until late afternoon. Going forward, I'll try to be more careful. The pedometer does seem to help me be more active.
Starting tomorrow, I will do the very minimal strengthening training.
The dog right now is looking quite expectantly at me. It is supposed to be over 90 today, so I'd better get her out soon.
I think that this diet should require minimal effort which is what is needed for sustainability through any sort of up and down in my life in the coming year. The question isn't whether I can follow the diet. The question is how much I will lose following it.
Next July, I can look at the possibility that I should subtract 2 Temperance Points each Feast Day. By then, I will have adjusted to subtracting 1 Temperance Point each Feast Day.
I am tired of all the ups and down. I am upset by recent binges. This diet needs time. One year is plenty for me to see the long-term results.
Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:25 am, edited 109 times in total.
Kathleen,
I agree with Grammy.
If I can make ONE suggestion, it would be to set your goals in terms of behavior, not results. It is SO depressing (even to me!) to read "23 pounds behind goal." Who could ever catch up to that? It's painful just to read.
A better goal would be to have 21 days (or time increment of your choice) on a single plan. Behavior. (Results will follow, I promise.)
I read an article about procrastination/failure in academics, and how one contributing factor is over-setting goals that are unreachable. For example, if you plan to read 5 articles, and work your way only through 3 (after putting in solid hours of work, mind you - academic articles can be quite dense!), then perfectionists/procrastinators immediately set their goals for 7 the next day, to "make up". But of course they can't DO that, so they procrastinate and beat themselves up and it's a deadly cycle. The authors likened it to "going to the gym and planning to lift 100 pounds, then finding you can only lift 50. Do you set a goal for 150 the next day to "make up"? Of course not - you'd just damage yourself. And you do equal damage with mental goals that are more than you can "lift." You need to work up to it, or learn to work productively at the level you can do." (Rough paraphrasing from memory).
So...(1) please try to set "days on habit" goals instead of poundage goals (because you can control days on habit, but not pounds - weight loss is erratic, even when you do everything perfectly) and (2) If you can't do that, please please please stop beating yourself up with how many pounds you are behind goal. You are where you are right now.
Very best wishes, as always,
KCCC
I agree with Grammy.
If I can make ONE suggestion, it would be to set your goals in terms of behavior, not results. It is SO depressing (even to me!) to read "23 pounds behind goal." Who could ever catch up to that? It's painful just to read.
A better goal would be to have 21 days (or time increment of your choice) on a single plan. Behavior. (Results will follow, I promise.)
I read an article about procrastination/failure in academics, and how one contributing factor is over-setting goals that are unreachable. For example, if you plan to read 5 articles, and work your way only through 3 (after putting in solid hours of work, mind you - academic articles can be quite dense!), then perfectionists/procrastinators immediately set their goals for 7 the next day, to "make up". But of course they can't DO that, so they procrastinate and beat themselves up and it's a deadly cycle. The authors likened it to "going to the gym and planning to lift 100 pounds, then finding you can only lift 50. Do you set a goal for 150 the next day to "make up"? Of course not - you'd just damage yourself. And you do equal damage with mental goals that are more than you can "lift." You need to work up to it, or learn to work productively at the level you can do." (Rough paraphrasing from memory).
So...(1) please try to set "days on habit" goals instead of poundage goals (because you can control days on habit, but not pounds - weight loss is erratic, even when you do everything perfectly) and (2) If you can't do that, please please please stop beating yourself up with how many pounds you are behind goal. You are where you are right now.
Very best wishes, as always,
KCCC
The point about coming home to housework followed by excessive eating, I think, is that situations don't MAKE us eat, stress doesn't make us eat, being exposed to certain foods doesn't make us eat, etc. They all increase the DESIRE to eat even when there is no true hunger. It would be nice to be able to avoid situations that make us desire food, but good luck. Just having the desire doesn't make us eat, either, anymore than feeling the urge to urinate makes us relieve ourselves as soon as we feel it. And just because relieving themselves (after waiting until an appropriate time and place) feels good, most people don't purposely drink more and more just so that they can feel that good feeling again.
I'm trying to understand, since you call measuring calories or carbs or whatever "portion control," what limit you are willing to accept in your eating. There has got to be something in between the hawkish way you felt you had to live before-which most of us here at No S aren't willing to live with, either- and the frequent eating to excessive fullness that it sounds like you do now. If you are never willing to sit with at least a little desire for food without actually eating it, it seems doubtful your body will ever have a chance to get used to less. With all due respect, you seem to be living in the past in terms of your perception that ANY limiting of your food is going to bring back the days of severe limitation. That sensation can be overcome and you don't have to eat 1,200 calories a day to do it. What about being aware of what is actually happening today, being the woman you are now, with more life experience and resources?
Also, what about eating the food you already prepare but slowly and consistently making vegetables and fruit a progressively larger proportion of the foods on your plate? You'd still get to eat things you like, and you'd get full. But you would have to let yourself feel the being full and be satisfied!
Something's got to give.
Or, possibly give it all up for awhile. Accept that you like to eat, for whatever reason, more than you're willing to go through any discomfort it would take to change your habits.
In terms of meals, I tend to either buy a roasted chicken at Costco or cook a whole package of chicken breasts or other meat relatively plainly. I do that with a few types of meat a week. I also cook up bigger batches of starch- grain or potatoes-- than I can eat at a meal. Then I keep a collection of sauces I know I like-- Italian, Asian, Indian are my most common ones, but there are plenty to choose from. I actually prefer not to smother the food, so even if the sauce is fatty, it's no issue. I also keep frozen vegetables or fresh veggies around. I heat servings of each, plus a sauce (and I don't have a microwave) and I can have a dinner ready in 10 minutes. I will often have one heated veggie and one raw one at lunch and dinner. In place of grain, I also have bread and tortillas around, too.
Anyway, I'm off on a trip and don't know if I'll have access to wifi.
Congrats on your new job offers!
I'm trying to understand, since you call measuring calories or carbs or whatever "portion control," what limit you are willing to accept in your eating. There has got to be something in between the hawkish way you felt you had to live before-which most of us here at No S aren't willing to live with, either- and the frequent eating to excessive fullness that it sounds like you do now. If you are never willing to sit with at least a little desire for food without actually eating it, it seems doubtful your body will ever have a chance to get used to less. With all due respect, you seem to be living in the past in terms of your perception that ANY limiting of your food is going to bring back the days of severe limitation. That sensation can be overcome and you don't have to eat 1,200 calories a day to do it. What about being aware of what is actually happening today, being the woman you are now, with more life experience and resources?
Also, what about eating the food you already prepare but slowly and consistently making vegetables and fruit a progressively larger proportion of the foods on your plate? You'd still get to eat things you like, and you'd get full. But you would have to let yourself feel the being full and be satisfied!
Something's got to give.
Or, possibly give it all up for awhile. Accept that you like to eat, for whatever reason, more than you're willing to go through any discomfort it would take to change your habits.
In terms of meals, I tend to either buy a roasted chicken at Costco or cook a whole package of chicken breasts or other meat relatively plainly. I do that with a few types of meat a week. I also cook up bigger batches of starch- grain or potatoes-- than I can eat at a meal. Then I keep a collection of sauces I know I like-- Italian, Asian, Indian are my most common ones, but there are plenty to choose from. I actually prefer not to smother the food, so even if the sauce is fatty, it's no issue. I also keep frozen vegetables or fresh veggies around. I heat servings of each, plus a sauce (and I don't have a microwave) and I can have a dinner ready in 10 minutes. I will often have one heated veggie and one raw one at lunch and dinner. In place of grain, I also have bread and tortillas around, too.
Anyway, I'm off on a trip and don't know if I'll have access to wifi.
Congrats on your new job offers!
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
I still am a little confused as to why this is a bad thing. I could stuff myself silly 3 times a day on whatever I wanted, without snacking or having second portions, and I know full well that I wouldn't be any healthier (or lighter!) for it.Kathleen wrote:milleum,
Thanks for the meal ideas. I think I got too aggressive in what I was doing with fasting, and it backfired. To me, portion control means controlling the amount you eat instead of having as much as you want at designated meal times.
Kathleen
There is a simple maths for dieting. If you are overweight and want to reduce the amount you weigh, you have to eat less calories than your body would normally burn off so it starts to burn off your excess fat. To some extent, portion control has to be a part of this, however much you mentally don't want it to be. With NoS it's not a massive part as in none of that horrible 'counting'.
How about re-naming portion control so it doesn't become such a psychological block? Call it... I dunno... Vanilla NoS?
Get a 9 inch plate, fill it with tasty savoury foods that you think will fill you up, eat it. I really hope you aren't taking any of this feedback negatively, I think I am probably similar to others in just wanting to help and support you to take a good look at the amount of 'restarts' and changing goals you have set yourself, and ponder whether they are actually helpful to you in terms of your goal behaviour. And I really agree with KCCC - goal weights are less helpful than goal behaviours imo.
Well, I'm way more upset right now about what I've figured out my son doesn't know for math. My husband has had the attitude "let him fail" but even he is appalled that a kid in advanced math who has completed the requirements for high school math (Algebra II) somehow managed a B when he didn't know that -3 squared is 9 rather than -9. I'm not going to set aside the diet. I'm going to follow what I wrote up and see how it goes. My new project for the summer just became math. Both Tom and I are good at math, so we at least can understand what it is he needs to know. Meanwhile, the 11th grader thinks she'll be a math major and just qualified to take a math course at the U of Minnesota this fall.
I had calculated 2 years ago that I would weigh 182 if I was on track for Katie's graduation from 6th grade which was this morning. Instead, I weigh exactly what I weighed when I started Intuitive Eating on December 15, 2007.
Why do I think I'll get off this hamsterwheel? I think that fasting (even what I've decided to try, which is 20 hours without calories) will reduce the desire for food. Will it? I don't know. As my 11th grader told me, I have a hypothesis because it is unsubstantiated, whereas a theory has some proof behind it.
Kathleen
I had calculated 2 years ago that I would weigh 182 if I was on track for Katie's graduation from 6th grade which was this morning. Instead, I weigh exactly what I weighed when I started Intuitive Eating on December 15, 2007.
Why do I think I'll get off this hamsterwheel? I think that fasting (even what I've decided to try, which is 20 hours without calories) will reduce the desire for food. Will it? I don't know. As my 11th grader told me, I have a hypothesis because it is unsubstantiated, whereas a theory has some proof behind it.
Kathleen
Just speaking for myself, there is no way on earth that fasting would work for me. I would be miserable, fuzzy headed and crabby. I'd be thinking about food non stop, and then I'd eat way too much after the fast.
For me, this would not a healthy or viable way of life.
What I like about No S is that it's uncomplicated. The rules are the rules. The rules make sense. They are what our great grandparents did, because that was Normal.
For me, the idea of eating a modest amount of healthy food at regular times, and only eating rich foods in reasonable quantities on genuinely special occasions is refreshingly powerful.
For me, this would not a healthy or viable way of life.
What I like about No S is that it's uncomplicated. The rules are the rules. The rules make sense. They are what our great grandparents did, because that was Normal.
For me, the idea of eating a modest amount of healthy food at regular times, and only eating rich foods in reasonable quantities on genuinely special occasions is refreshingly powerful.
Who Me?
I tried No S for an entire year and got down to 195. I did not follow the one plate rule but did follow the no snacks and no sweets rules and got to one S Day per week (Sunday) plus two Exception Days per month. When I started No S, it was torture to fast from breakfast to lunch. That's why I'm trying fasting for longer periods of time. I do not get hungry anywhere near as often as I used to get hungry, and I think the reason may be that hunger is the result of eating on a consistent and frequent basis. Fasting breaks up the consistency.
Kathleen
I tried No S for an entire year and got down to 195. I did not follow the one plate rule but did follow the no snacks and no sweets rules and got to one S Day per week (Sunday) plus two Exception Days per month. When I started No S, it was torture to fast from breakfast to lunch. That's why I'm trying fasting for longer periods of time. I do not get hungry anywhere near as often as I used to get hungry, and I think the reason may be that hunger is the result of eating on a consistent and frequent basis. Fasting breaks up the consistency.
Kathleen
KCC,
I am still hopeful that I can make up for being behind schedule so many months. I do try to focus on behavior, but my benchmark since the beginning has been one pound per month. Yes, it can be discouraging to be up and down the same pounds, but I remind myself of how far I have come. Food is no longer a 24 X 7 focus in my life. That may be surprising to those who read the journal, but the journal is my way to put down my thoughts and then go on. Yesterday, when I was reviewing math with my son, I realized that he didn't know how to multiply fractions -- or at least he forgot because he knew when he was in the Math Masters program back in 5th grade. Is he pretending that he doesn't know? I don't think so because the consequences are a summer of math. How much of my time today will be spent trying to figure out how to get him up to where he should be in math, and how much will be spent on my diet and food? I would estimate I will think about my diet no more than 20 minutes for the rest of the day. Even at the same 205 weight in December 2007 (when I started Intuitive Eating), I am way ahead emotionally because back then it was more like 10 hours per day focused on my weight and food.
Kathleen
I am still hopeful that I can make up for being behind schedule so many months. I do try to focus on behavior, but my benchmark since the beginning has been one pound per month. Yes, it can be discouraging to be up and down the same pounds, but I remind myself of how far I have come. Food is no longer a 24 X 7 focus in my life. That may be surprising to those who read the journal, but the journal is my way to put down my thoughts and then go on. Yesterday, when I was reviewing math with my son, I realized that he didn't know how to multiply fractions -- or at least he forgot because he knew when he was in the Math Masters program back in 5th grade. Is he pretending that he doesn't know? I don't think so because the consequences are a summer of math. How much of my time today will be spent trying to figure out how to get him up to where he should be in math, and how much will be spent on my diet and food? I would estimate I will think about my diet no more than 20 minutes for the rest of the day. Even at the same 205 weight in December 2007 (when I started Intuitive Eating), I am way ahead emotionally because back then it was more like 10 hours per day focused on my weight and food.
Kathleen
KCCC,
I will track steps and will track Temperance Points, both of which are behaviors rather than results. We cannot control the results. We can only control the behaviors, so I appreciate what you are saying. I preach all the time to the kids: "Actions have consequences." Well, the same is true for me!
Kathleen
I will track steps and will track Temperance Points, both of which are behaviors rather than results. We cannot control the results. We can only control the behaviors, so I appreciate what you are saying. I preach all the time to the kids: "Actions have consequences." Well, the same is true for me!
Kathleen
Hi Kathleen,
As far as the precalculus goes, Brigham Young University offers a lot of online high school and college classes at a very reasonable cost. It might be worth checking out.
Hope the latest diet plan works. My suggestion would be that if you have a friend who would agree to exercise with you, it's much easier than exercising alone, and you're much more inclined to stick with it when someone else is counting on you to show up for your class or your walk etc.
As far as the precalculus goes, Brigham Young University offers a lot of online high school and college classes at a very reasonable cost. It might be worth checking out.
Hope the latest diet plan works. My suggestion would be that if you have a friend who would agree to exercise with you, it's much easier than exercising alone, and you're much more inclined to stick with it when someone else is counting on you to show up for your class or your walk etc.
Eurobabe2,
Thanks for the tip! I have had to face the fact that Tom's online tutoring with tutorvista was counterproductive in that he could get As on homework and then got Cs on tests. When I tried to return to work as a technical writer, I found lots of opportunities for writing papers. I viewed that as cheating, but it never occurred to me that I was helping Tom to cheat by having him walked through homework assignments. The name "tutor" was inappropriate. Live and learn! I sent an email to Tom's teacher letting her know that he would probably be repeating Algebra II, letting her know that he's used online tutoring, and also letting her know that we were the ones who made a mistake. I do not fault the teacher for this situation!
Kathleen
Thanks for the tip! I have had to face the fact that Tom's online tutoring with tutorvista was counterproductive in that he could get As on homework and then got Cs on tests. When I tried to return to work as a technical writer, I found lots of opportunities for writing papers. I viewed that as cheating, but it never occurred to me that I was helping Tom to cheat by having him walked through homework assignments. The name "tutor" was inappropriate. Live and learn! I sent an email to Tom's teacher letting her know that he would probably be repeating Algebra II, letting her know that he's used online tutoring, and also letting her know that we were the ones who made a mistake. I do not fault the teacher for this situation!
Kathleen
Foods that satisfy
Kathleen said: I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast but still feel unsatisfied
I am always unsatisfied with a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Eat more fat and protein for satiety.
You were on the right track with the self talk you had going last week. "I like feeling light. I do not like feeling stuffed." That is fantastic and you had good results. You inspired me to use the mantra. Keep it up. Now just find good food that does satisfy you. Carbs eaten alone will set you up for craving more. I made some great bone broth this week and have found that a cup really holds me until the next meal. Each of us has to find what works for us. I think you have turned a corner. Stay the course. Yes, fasting too much can lead to eating disorders. But you did learn to like the feeling of light versus stuffed. Learn from that and continue.
I am always unsatisfied with a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Eat more fat and protein for satiety.
You were on the right track with the self talk you had going last week. "I like feeling light. I do not like feeling stuffed." That is fantastic and you had good results. You inspired me to use the mantra. Keep it up. Now just find good food that does satisfy you. Carbs eaten alone will set you up for craving more. I made some great bone broth this week and have found that a cup really holds me until the next meal. Each of us has to find what works for us. I think you have turned a corner. Stay the course. Yes, fasting too much can lead to eating disorders. But you did learn to like the feeling of light versus stuffed. Learn from that and continue.
TexArk,
I had an egg salad sandwich at lunch to get some protein into me. I just feel strange because I aboslutely positively do not want to eat to the point of being stuffed, but I'm not sure how much to eat to be satisfied. My goal is to stick to the diet and not worry about it. I'll experiment with different foods and still eat as much as I want and see what happens. Thanks for the encouragement! It is just amazing that I suddenly want to feel light --
Kathleen
I had an egg salad sandwich at lunch to get some protein into me. I just feel strange because I aboslutely positively do not want to eat to the point of being stuffed, but I'm not sure how much to eat to be satisfied. My goal is to stick to the diet and not worry about it. I'll experiment with different foods and still eat as much as I want and see what happens. Thanks for the encouragement! It is just amazing that I suddenly want to feel light --
Kathleen
July 1, 2011: Cultivating the Virtue of Temperance
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0 (This month's goal is 182.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 23.0 pounds.)
(Month 2) Day 25 - Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.6 pounds.)
Weights:
Day 25 – Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6
Day 26 – Saturday, July 2, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, July 3, 2011:
Day 28 – Monday, July 4, 2011: FAST
Day 29 – Tuesday, July 5, 2011: 200.8
Day 30 – Wednesday, July 6, 2011: 201.0
Day 31 – Thursday, July 7, 2011: 201.8
Day 32 – Friday, July 8, 2011: 201.0
Day 33 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0
Day 34 – Sunday, July 10, 2011:
Day 35 – Monday, July 11, 2011:
Day 36 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011:
Day 37 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011:
Day 38 – Thursday, July 14, 2011:
Day 39 – Friday, July 15, 2011:
Day 40 – Saturday, July 16, 2011:
Day 41 – Sunday, July 17, 2011:
Day 42 – Monday, July 18, 2011:
Day 43 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011:
Day 44 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011:
Day 45 – Thursday, July 21, 2011:
Day 46 – Friday, July 22, 2011:
Day 47 – Saturday, July 23, 2011:
Day 48 – Sunday, July 24, 2011:
Day 49 – Monday, July 25, 2011:
Day 50 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011:
Day 51 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 52 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 53 – Friday, July 29, 2011:
Day 54 – Saturday, July 30, 2011:
Day 55 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 25 – Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6 I really don't want to be changing this diet anymore. It is simple, sustainable, and easy. The only question that remains is whether I can lose weight while following it.
Day 28 – Monday, July 4, 2011: : I went back and clarified for my diet that I do not subtract a point when a Feast Day is also a Fast Day. Other than that clarification, I am sticking to the diet, and it is going well. Today I fasted, and it went fine once again.
Last week, I took clothing to a thrift store, looked through the books, and picked up a book called Symptoms of Withdrawal by Christopher Kennedy Lawford. The reason for my interest in addiction had to do with finding out that the father of a classmates of Katie's just went in for alcohol treatment, and I felt so badly for the family. The book itself is written in a way that the author comes across as very genuine in his description of the experiences he is willing to share. There were some things he wrote that reminded me of my own difficulty with eating, such as: "Most people think addicts are lazy and weak with serious moral deficiencies. To all those who have this impression I would suggest they ask themselves how long they might function in this world carrying an 800-pound gorilla on their back that punches you in the face all day." (Chapter 21).
He also wrote this about his addiction: "There was something perversely heroic in it all... This pain would be my ticket to greatness.. The dark side of addiction would be my cross. (from Chapter 22).
Finally, he wrote this about his recovery: "Carl Jung said that he had never seen an alcoholic recover unless there was some sort of spiritual experience involved...Within thirty days the daily obsession to drink and use drugs that had vanquished me for seventeen years vanished and it has not returned for twenty ears and counting... I had found a God to help me change. I had found a God I could trust." (Chapter 33).
Do I understand what happened in the last month that I can go 24 hours without food and my stomach doesn't even growl? No. I don't understand it at all. Do I think there is something spiritual involved here? Yes. What it is I have no idea. Chris Lawford describes his addiction as an 800-pound gorilla. I think somewhere in the gospels that Christ says something about demons that can only be expelled with prayer and fasting. That gospel has held no meaning for me, being too modern to believe in demons and too aware of scientific studies that show that frequent eating is best for health. Now I'm just plain confused, going down a road I do not understand at all.
Today I fasted until 3:30 PM from 3:30 PM yesterday without any problem at all. I have lost any sense of urgency in eating. It is just plain bizarre. In his book, Chris Lawford says "To me it was nothing short of miraculous." (Chapter 33). I'm not at the point of thinking of this loss of an incessant desire for food as miraculous, but I do feel a great deal of relief and gratitude. Even more strong than those feelings are the feelings that this is just plain bizarre. Will it continue? I had an experience like this last month that did not continue, so I'm not counting on this lack of hunger and ferocious desire for food as continuing. What I will do is continue following my diet and see how it goes.
On a sad note, we were visiting my husband's family, and my mother in law clearly is not exercising. It was very sad to walk with her across the street and have her stop to catch her breath. I am doing my strengthening exercises and walking. While I don't consider exercise as having much impact on weight, I do know that is is important for health. Seeing my mother in law in the shape she is makes me very sad. She is such a lovely woman, and I'd love for her to be at some of our children's weddings.
Day 29 – Tuesday, July 5, 2011: 200.8 Fasting is all through the gospels. Have I ever paid any attention to that fact? No. I never thought fasting applied to me except for the two fasts on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Here, I've been searching for years for an alternate to portion control, and it was right in the Bible. Is portion control in the Bible? If it is, I'm not aware of it being there. It's a little embarrassing to consider myself religious and to never have consulted the Bible about my problem with overeating. Oh well... I got to the answer by a circuitous route.
8 AM: When thinking about the idea of an 800 pound gorilla, I thought of the expression "monkey on my back." When I looked up the expression, I learned that it refers to drug addiction. It could just as easily refer to a diet/binge cycle. My approach of a planned cycle of fasting and feasting is just plain saner than the cycle of diet as long as you can and then give out and binge and restart with even greater resolve.
9 AM: I just had what I hope is my last cup of coffee. Tom isn't supposed to drink coffee because of high blood pressure, and he just gave it up, so I am trying to follow suit. I love coffee. If he goes back to drinking it, I will, too, but I think I need to be considerate of his need to not have coffee.
7:15 PM: My appetite came roaring back, only this time I'm not surprised since it happened once before. This time, I am determined to stick to the diet and ride out the hunger by eating large amounts of foods but only at mealtime. My dinner was accompanied by an entire bowl of popcorn.
Meantime, I found that Aerosmith had "Monkey on My Back" as a description of heroin addiction. Can drug addiction be compared with disordered eating? After reading Chris Lawford's book, I am beginning to think there are some things in common. With obesity does come life-threatening illness, and you can see the illness from a mile away. Of course, no one gets into legal trouble for overeating. The analogy does go only so far. Still, if overeating were fined or resulted in legal trouble, would that stop me? No. People will do a lot to fend off starvation, and portion control dieting is starvation.
Day 30 – Wednesday, July 6, 2011: 201.0 I woke up at 3 absolutely famished and did not get back to sleep until 5:30. I held out knowing I could have as much as I wanted at breakfast.
7:15 AM: I had an absolutely huge breakfast which included Dr. Pepper, and now I am facing a beautiful day with only one child at home. Katie went to a science camp for the week, Anne is a camp counselor all summer, and Tom is caddying. I have Ellie home. She is taking Katie's place volunteering at the library this morning. It will be a quiet day because that is all we have planned. I am going to keep it quiet, too, and not offer to have a friend over for Ellie. The reason why is that I suspect my entire day will be consumed with feeling starved. This is a repeat of what happened last month, only last month I was still tweaking the diet. Now the diet is set, and I just need to ride out this feeling of being starved. I can tell myself that I can eat as much as I want in just a few hours.
2 PM: I had an entire bowl of popcorn at lunch and am drinking up the leftover pop from the Fourth of July. It is distracting to be so hungry, so I'm taking the kids to the beach where I'll buy dinner. My number one priority is to stick with this diet.
7:30 PM: I had three pops today, which I am almost certain is more than I have ever drunk in one day in my life: two Dr. Peppers and a root beer from Wendy's. I have survived. I stuck with my diet because I allow pop. The feeling of being famished has passed, and now I am focused on putting up painter's tape in Anne's room so I can paint over the next few days.
Day 31 – Thursday, July 7, 2011: 201.8 I am happy that my weight only went up .8 pound. It was hard to get through yesterday, but today I feel fine. I wonder why I had such an extreme desire to eat. It makes me chuckle that it was sugared pop which got me through the day without breaking the diet. I also wonder if it had something to do with giving up coffee, since there is caffeine in Dr. Pepper and maybe even root beer as well. Whatever the cause, I feel fine today and will be painting Anne's room this morning.
I have already read the paper this morning, and I found this question in the Ask Amy column: "Lisa's conversations with me are rarely about anything other than food or dieting, and those conversations become repetitive, and a little uncomfortable for personal reasons. I realize that she may be just excited about what she is doing, but how do I nicely tell her how off-putting that can be when it is all she talks to me about?"
I understand Lisa's point of view: it's heroic to stick with a diet when you feel like you are starving all the time. I also understand the point of view of the person writing to Amy: it seems as though nothing else matters to Lisa. My own perspective is that dieting makes you a narcissist because your life revolves around your food and eating choices. My choice of a diet also is one in which I hope the diet itself will simply fade into the background after I am used to it. Oh, I may have occasional days like yesterday, but my hope is that I am able to go through the day without much thought of eating at all.
4 PM: Anne's room is all painted, and I had some time to think about what admittedly is an obsession with dieting. I think I need to make a conscious choice to stop thinking about and writing about dieting. Since I've selected my program, I just have to follow it. That's it. I've got a year to see how this plays out. To monitor my weight closely is like watching water come to a boil. Why do it? I want to give this approach a full year because I think that I will be going through days like yesterday when I just want to eat a lot. So what... What matters is if my overall caloric consumption declines and results in less food intake. That's it. When I started with my modified version of The No S Diet, I was excited to lose 20 pounds in 9 months. The problem was that I didn't lose any more weight. With this diet so far, I've lost 3 pounds in a month. Will it continue or not? I can only know if I actually follow it and see how it plays out.
Day 32 – Friday, July 8, 2011: 201.0 It's the biggest golf tournament of the year, so Tom is already up and dressed. We are dogsitting, and I am having breakfast with someone, so the dogs need to be put out before I leave. It feels good to be engrossed in my life rather than engrossed in my diet.
3 PM: We are dogsitting the most adorable dog. One ear sticks up, and one ear flops down. Our Pepper is very jealous so we need to be reprimanding our dog on manners. Both dogs are named Papper, so we call one Pepper One and the other Pepper Two. Tonight, I am taking Ellie to "Fly Night" at Katie's camp where we see Katie fly the plane she made at camp. Life is so full of wonder and joy. The gloom of dieting, which has covered so many experiences in my life, has lifted like a heavy fog. It's just so wonderful!
10 PM: Tommy made $120 today, motivating him to return to caddy tomorrow. When I got home at 9, he asked about his caddy outfit which was in the laundry. Great. I'm now up late waiting for the washing machine to finish so I can put his clothes in the dryer. He needs to learn to do his own laundry!
While waiting, I browsed through the report that was just issued by the government on fat. Is there any mention of snacking? No. It seems like a very politically correct document which includes a reference to the need for people to use mass transit rather than cars because they walk. What nonsense! Here it is, page 82: " Cities that have underdeveloped mass transit systems force many residents to drive more frequently. Studies have shown that people who regularly use public transportation tend to weigh less than those who drive. Why? Mass transit riders tend to walk a fair amount to get to and from stations or bus stop."
I really believe that the obese have as a defining characteristic the trait of gullibility. I still am gullible, but at least I am learning not to believe everything just because it is written.
Now I just want to follow this diet and focus on my life. Tonight, there were some older men, probably retired 3M employees, who helped the girls launch their planes. After the girls left, they brought out their planes and flew them. It was a beautiful night, and it was just so uplifting to see these guys flying their remote control planes for the sheer joy of doing it.
Reading the report F is for Fat -- or rather just skimming it, since that was all the time it deserved -- somewhat made my stomach churn. Tony the Tiger is not responsible for the obesity epidemic. Chocolate milk in schools is not the reason for the obesity epidemic.
What is responsible? Maybe we are hungry all the time because we are eating all the time! The S Day is a day to just enjoy what I want -- what a thought! I bet that report never discusses the idea that people are over-regulating their intake of food!!!
Day 33 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 I went back to my journal to review what had happened before I had the experience of a feeling of lightness that was so wonderful. It was June 15th, a Wednesday. I had fasted twice in the prior week. That's what I had suspected. Jews, Catholics, and Greek Orthodox all have traditions of fasting twice per week. The Greek Orthodox today state that it is an essential aspect of being a Greek Orthodox. It is much easier to fast when the entire community is fasting, but I think that having a flexible schedule will help me. I don't remember if I had something to drink last night after I came home from "Fly Night". It's likely I had milk, but I am not sure. Nevertheless, I am going to fast today. I changed my diet to have two Fast Days per week. Am I willing to live with that number? Yes. I want that wonderful feeling back again. There may well be a big adjustment period, but I am determined to go through it now when I have so little pressure on me with no job and just the need to get Tom through an Algebra I review.
10:30 AM: I am trying to review what I wrote last month, and I was making so many changes that I'm not exactly sure what I did. It looks like I had 18 hour fasts and was experimenting with number. I think it is important for me to have a maximum number of 3 as a goal or I will try more than I can handle. If I fast today, that makes for a Temperance Balance of 3. What I am trying to do is replicate as much as possible what I remember the Greek Orthodox do, and that's also why I added in no fasting in Easter Week or between Christmas and New Year's. I'll need a break. I question whether two Fast Days per week are sustainable, and I'm not sure I know the answer to that. I certainly could fast one day per week, but it isn't producing the necessary feeling of lightness. My guess is that I should try to model my diet on Greek Orthodox practices to the extent that is practical, and that's what I have now.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, June 7, 2011: 205.0 (This month's goal is 182.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 23.0 pounds.)
(Month 2) Day 25 - Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.6 pounds.)
Weights:
Day 25 – Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6
Day 26 – Saturday, July 2, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, July 3, 2011:
Day 28 – Monday, July 4, 2011: FAST
Day 29 – Tuesday, July 5, 2011: 200.8
Day 30 – Wednesday, July 6, 2011: 201.0
Day 31 – Thursday, July 7, 2011: 201.8
Day 32 – Friday, July 8, 2011: 201.0
Day 33 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0
Day 34 – Sunday, July 10, 2011:
Day 35 – Monday, July 11, 2011:
Day 36 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011:
Day 37 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011:
Day 38 – Thursday, July 14, 2011:
Day 39 – Friday, July 15, 2011:
Day 40 – Saturday, July 16, 2011:
Day 41 – Sunday, July 17, 2011:
Day 42 – Monday, July 18, 2011:
Day 43 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011:
Day 44 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011:
Day 45 – Thursday, July 21, 2011:
Day 46 – Friday, July 22, 2011:
Day 47 – Saturday, July 23, 2011:
Day 48 – Sunday, July 24, 2011:
Day 49 – Monday, July 25, 2011:
Day 50 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011:
Day 51 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 52 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 53 – Friday, July 29, 2011:
Day 54 – Saturday, July 30, 2011:
Day 55 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 25 – Friday, July 1, 2011: 201.6 I really don't want to be changing this diet anymore. It is simple, sustainable, and easy. The only question that remains is whether I can lose weight while following it.
Day 28 – Monday, July 4, 2011: : I went back and clarified for my diet that I do not subtract a point when a Feast Day is also a Fast Day. Other than that clarification, I am sticking to the diet, and it is going well. Today I fasted, and it went fine once again.
Last week, I took clothing to a thrift store, looked through the books, and picked up a book called Symptoms of Withdrawal by Christopher Kennedy Lawford. The reason for my interest in addiction had to do with finding out that the father of a classmates of Katie's just went in for alcohol treatment, and I felt so badly for the family. The book itself is written in a way that the author comes across as very genuine in his description of the experiences he is willing to share. There were some things he wrote that reminded me of my own difficulty with eating, such as: "Most people think addicts are lazy and weak with serious moral deficiencies. To all those who have this impression I would suggest they ask themselves how long they might function in this world carrying an 800-pound gorilla on their back that punches you in the face all day." (Chapter 21).
He also wrote this about his addiction: "There was something perversely heroic in it all... This pain would be my ticket to greatness.. The dark side of addiction would be my cross. (from Chapter 22).
Finally, he wrote this about his recovery: "Carl Jung said that he had never seen an alcoholic recover unless there was some sort of spiritual experience involved...Within thirty days the daily obsession to drink and use drugs that had vanquished me for seventeen years vanished and it has not returned for twenty ears and counting... I had found a God to help me change. I had found a God I could trust." (Chapter 33).
Do I understand what happened in the last month that I can go 24 hours without food and my stomach doesn't even growl? No. I don't understand it at all. Do I think there is something spiritual involved here? Yes. What it is I have no idea. Chris Lawford describes his addiction as an 800-pound gorilla. I think somewhere in the gospels that Christ says something about demons that can only be expelled with prayer and fasting. That gospel has held no meaning for me, being too modern to believe in demons and too aware of scientific studies that show that frequent eating is best for health. Now I'm just plain confused, going down a road I do not understand at all.
Today I fasted until 3:30 PM from 3:30 PM yesterday without any problem at all. I have lost any sense of urgency in eating. It is just plain bizarre. In his book, Chris Lawford says "To me it was nothing short of miraculous." (Chapter 33). I'm not at the point of thinking of this loss of an incessant desire for food as miraculous, but I do feel a great deal of relief and gratitude. Even more strong than those feelings are the feelings that this is just plain bizarre. Will it continue? I had an experience like this last month that did not continue, so I'm not counting on this lack of hunger and ferocious desire for food as continuing. What I will do is continue following my diet and see how it goes.
On a sad note, we were visiting my husband's family, and my mother in law clearly is not exercising. It was very sad to walk with her across the street and have her stop to catch her breath. I am doing my strengthening exercises and walking. While I don't consider exercise as having much impact on weight, I do know that is is important for health. Seeing my mother in law in the shape she is makes me very sad. She is such a lovely woman, and I'd love for her to be at some of our children's weddings.
Day 29 – Tuesday, July 5, 2011: 200.8 Fasting is all through the gospels. Have I ever paid any attention to that fact? No. I never thought fasting applied to me except for the two fasts on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Here, I've been searching for years for an alternate to portion control, and it was right in the Bible. Is portion control in the Bible? If it is, I'm not aware of it being there. It's a little embarrassing to consider myself religious and to never have consulted the Bible about my problem with overeating. Oh well... I got to the answer by a circuitous route.
8 AM: When thinking about the idea of an 800 pound gorilla, I thought of the expression "monkey on my back." When I looked up the expression, I learned that it refers to drug addiction. It could just as easily refer to a diet/binge cycle. My approach of a planned cycle of fasting and feasting is just plain saner than the cycle of diet as long as you can and then give out and binge and restart with even greater resolve.
9 AM: I just had what I hope is my last cup of coffee. Tom isn't supposed to drink coffee because of high blood pressure, and he just gave it up, so I am trying to follow suit. I love coffee. If he goes back to drinking it, I will, too, but I think I need to be considerate of his need to not have coffee.
7:15 PM: My appetite came roaring back, only this time I'm not surprised since it happened once before. This time, I am determined to stick to the diet and ride out the hunger by eating large amounts of foods but only at mealtime. My dinner was accompanied by an entire bowl of popcorn.
Meantime, I found that Aerosmith had "Monkey on My Back" as a description of heroin addiction. Can drug addiction be compared with disordered eating? After reading Chris Lawford's book, I am beginning to think there are some things in common. With obesity does come life-threatening illness, and you can see the illness from a mile away. Of course, no one gets into legal trouble for overeating. The analogy does go only so far. Still, if overeating were fined or resulted in legal trouble, would that stop me? No. People will do a lot to fend off starvation, and portion control dieting is starvation.
Day 30 – Wednesday, July 6, 2011: 201.0 I woke up at 3 absolutely famished and did not get back to sleep until 5:30. I held out knowing I could have as much as I wanted at breakfast.
7:15 AM: I had an absolutely huge breakfast which included Dr. Pepper, and now I am facing a beautiful day with only one child at home. Katie went to a science camp for the week, Anne is a camp counselor all summer, and Tom is caddying. I have Ellie home. She is taking Katie's place volunteering at the library this morning. It will be a quiet day because that is all we have planned. I am going to keep it quiet, too, and not offer to have a friend over for Ellie. The reason why is that I suspect my entire day will be consumed with feeling starved. This is a repeat of what happened last month, only last month I was still tweaking the diet. Now the diet is set, and I just need to ride out this feeling of being starved. I can tell myself that I can eat as much as I want in just a few hours.
2 PM: I had an entire bowl of popcorn at lunch and am drinking up the leftover pop from the Fourth of July. It is distracting to be so hungry, so I'm taking the kids to the beach where I'll buy dinner. My number one priority is to stick with this diet.
7:30 PM: I had three pops today, which I am almost certain is more than I have ever drunk in one day in my life: two Dr. Peppers and a root beer from Wendy's. I have survived. I stuck with my diet because I allow pop. The feeling of being famished has passed, and now I am focused on putting up painter's tape in Anne's room so I can paint over the next few days.
Day 31 – Thursday, July 7, 2011: 201.8 I am happy that my weight only went up .8 pound. It was hard to get through yesterday, but today I feel fine. I wonder why I had such an extreme desire to eat. It makes me chuckle that it was sugared pop which got me through the day without breaking the diet. I also wonder if it had something to do with giving up coffee, since there is caffeine in Dr. Pepper and maybe even root beer as well. Whatever the cause, I feel fine today and will be painting Anne's room this morning.
I have already read the paper this morning, and I found this question in the Ask Amy column: "Lisa's conversations with me are rarely about anything other than food or dieting, and those conversations become repetitive, and a little uncomfortable for personal reasons. I realize that she may be just excited about what she is doing, but how do I nicely tell her how off-putting that can be when it is all she talks to me about?"
I understand Lisa's point of view: it's heroic to stick with a diet when you feel like you are starving all the time. I also understand the point of view of the person writing to Amy: it seems as though nothing else matters to Lisa. My own perspective is that dieting makes you a narcissist because your life revolves around your food and eating choices. My choice of a diet also is one in which I hope the diet itself will simply fade into the background after I am used to it. Oh, I may have occasional days like yesterday, but my hope is that I am able to go through the day without much thought of eating at all.
4 PM: Anne's room is all painted, and I had some time to think about what admittedly is an obsession with dieting. I think I need to make a conscious choice to stop thinking about and writing about dieting. Since I've selected my program, I just have to follow it. That's it. I've got a year to see how this plays out. To monitor my weight closely is like watching water come to a boil. Why do it? I want to give this approach a full year because I think that I will be going through days like yesterday when I just want to eat a lot. So what... What matters is if my overall caloric consumption declines and results in less food intake. That's it. When I started with my modified version of The No S Diet, I was excited to lose 20 pounds in 9 months. The problem was that I didn't lose any more weight. With this diet so far, I've lost 3 pounds in a month. Will it continue or not? I can only know if I actually follow it and see how it plays out.
Day 32 – Friday, July 8, 2011: 201.0 It's the biggest golf tournament of the year, so Tom is already up and dressed. We are dogsitting, and I am having breakfast with someone, so the dogs need to be put out before I leave. It feels good to be engrossed in my life rather than engrossed in my diet.
3 PM: We are dogsitting the most adorable dog. One ear sticks up, and one ear flops down. Our Pepper is very jealous so we need to be reprimanding our dog on manners. Both dogs are named Papper, so we call one Pepper One and the other Pepper Two. Tonight, I am taking Ellie to "Fly Night" at Katie's camp where we see Katie fly the plane she made at camp. Life is so full of wonder and joy. The gloom of dieting, which has covered so many experiences in my life, has lifted like a heavy fog. It's just so wonderful!
10 PM: Tommy made $120 today, motivating him to return to caddy tomorrow. When I got home at 9, he asked about his caddy outfit which was in the laundry. Great. I'm now up late waiting for the washing machine to finish so I can put his clothes in the dryer. He needs to learn to do his own laundry!
While waiting, I browsed through the report that was just issued by the government on fat. Is there any mention of snacking? No. It seems like a very politically correct document which includes a reference to the need for people to use mass transit rather than cars because they walk. What nonsense! Here it is, page 82: " Cities that have underdeveloped mass transit systems force many residents to drive more frequently. Studies have shown that people who regularly use public transportation tend to weigh less than those who drive. Why? Mass transit riders tend to walk a fair amount to get to and from stations or bus stop."
I really believe that the obese have as a defining characteristic the trait of gullibility. I still am gullible, but at least I am learning not to believe everything just because it is written.
Now I just want to follow this diet and focus on my life. Tonight, there were some older men, probably retired 3M employees, who helped the girls launch their planes. After the girls left, they brought out their planes and flew them. It was a beautiful night, and it was just so uplifting to see these guys flying their remote control planes for the sheer joy of doing it.
Reading the report F is for Fat -- or rather just skimming it, since that was all the time it deserved -- somewhat made my stomach churn. Tony the Tiger is not responsible for the obesity epidemic. Chocolate milk in schools is not the reason for the obesity epidemic.
What is responsible? Maybe we are hungry all the time because we are eating all the time! The S Day is a day to just enjoy what I want -- what a thought! I bet that report never discusses the idea that people are over-regulating their intake of food!!!
Day 33 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 I went back to my journal to review what had happened before I had the experience of a feeling of lightness that was so wonderful. It was June 15th, a Wednesday. I had fasted twice in the prior week. That's what I had suspected. Jews, Catholics, and Greek Orthodox all have traditions of fasting twice per week. The Greek Orthodox today state that it is an essential aspect of being a Greek Orthodox. It is much easier to fast when the entire community is fasting, but I think that having a flexible schedule will help me. I don't remember if I had something to drink last night after I came home from "Fly Night". It's likely I had milk, but I am not sure. Nevertheless, I am going to fast today. I changed my diet to have two Fast Days per week. Am I willing to live with that number? Yes. I want that wonderful feeling back again. There may well be a big adjustment period, but I am determined to go through it now when I have so little pressure on me with no job and just the need to get Tom through an Algebra I review.
10:30 AM: I am trying to review what I wrote last month, and I was making so many changes that I'm not exactly sure what I did. It looks like I had 18 hour fasts and was experimenting with number. I think it is important for me to have a maximum number of 3 as a goal or I will try more than I can handle. If I fast today, that makes for a Temperance Balance of 3. What I am trying to do is replicate as much as possible what I remember the Greek Orthodox do, and that's also why I added in no fasting in Easter Week or between Christmas and New Year's. I'll need a break. I question whether two Fast Days per week are sustainable, and I'm not sure I know the answer to that. I certainly could fast one day per week, but it isn't producing the necessary feeling of lightness. My guess is that I should try to model my diet on Greek Orthodox practices to the extent that is practical, and that's what I have now.
Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Jul 09, 2011 3:45 pm, edited 25 times in total.
milliem,
I've been this weight many times before in the last three years. When I told my husband about my new revision to the diet, I asked him what weight I would be before he believed it was working. He said 180. I did buy some shorts that are two small in the hope that I will fit in them in the next two weeks or so. Thanks for your encouragement, and look for that weight of 180!
Kathleen
I've been this weight many times before in the last three years. When I told my husband about my new revision to the diet, I asked him what weight I would be before he believed it was working. He said 180. I did buy some shorts that are two small in the hope that I will fit in them in the next two weeks or so. Thanks for your encouragement, and look for that weight of 180!
Kathleen
Hi Kathleen,
don't be so hard on yourself, I know that 'goal weight' will be when you really celebrate, but a 4lb weight loss is a brilliant achievement for someone who has been struggling to find a method of losing weight that works for you. Especially considering your monthly goal is only 1lb!
I'm afraid I disagree with your dear hubbie, you'll know when this is working for you when you can follow the habits for a few months without chucking it all up in the air and changing plans again You're well on your way to that, well done!
don't be so hard on yourself, I know that 'goal weight' will be when you really celebrate, but a 4lb weight loss is a brilliant achievement for someone who has been struggling to find a method of losing weight that works for you. Especially considering your monthly goal is only 1lb!
I'm afraid I disagree with your dear hubbie, you'll know when this is working for you when you can follow the habits for a few months without chucking it all up in the air and changing plans again
You're well on your way to that, well done!July 9, 2011: Cultivating the Virtue of Temperance
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 2) Day 25 - Friday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.0 pounds.)
My diet is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to two times per week.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. The meal timing of The No S Diet were like training wheels on a bike. It took nearly three years for me to be able to take those training wheels off my bike.
My lifestyle is one of counting, and here are my goals:
1. I fast up to 24 hour for two times per week, if possible. The ending time of the fast determines if the fast is counted in one week or not. Weeks start at 12:01 AM Sunday and end at 12 PM Saturday.
2. I use a pedometer and have a goal of a certain number of steps per month. The number of steps per day started at 7,000 per day in June, 2011 and increases by 100 steps per day for each subsequent month. I count steps for all days other than Sundays.
3. I follow a very moderate program of strengthening exercises from the book Strong Women Stay Thin. The goal is three strengthening exercises per week. In July, 2011, I started with one strengthening exercise, the chair stand. In each subsequent month, I add a strengthening exercise.
Day 1 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0
Day 2 – Sunday, July 10, 2011:
Day 3 – Monday, July 11, 2011:
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011: 200.8
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011:
Day 6 – Thursday, July 14, 2011:
Day 7 – Friday, July 15, 2011:
Day 8 – Saturday, July 16, 2011:
Day 9 – Sunday, July 17, 2011:
Day 10 – Monday, July 18, 2011:
Day 11 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011:
Day 12 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011:
Day 13 – Thursday, July 21, 2011:
Day 14 – Friday, July 22, 2011:
Day 15 – Saturday, July 23, 2011:
Day 16 – Sunday, July 24, 2011:
Day 17 – Monday, July 25, 2011:
Day 18 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011:
Day 19 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 20 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 21 – Friday, July 29, 2011:
Day 22 – Saturday, July 30, 2011:
Day 23 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 I decided to restart the diet because I had changed it. It's OK. I'm down four pounds from last month. That is good. Now I just need to keep up the work. My day to day weight, however, isn't as important is is the feeling of lightness and freedom that I got from fasting. It may be that I would not have been fat had I been in my 50s in the 1960s, but I will never know. It appears to me that I am influenced by the environment, and the diet I follow must protect me from that environment. That, I think, is what I have in this diet.
Katie comes home from camp today, Ellie leaves for camp tomorrow, and I am sick of being on the computer thinking about dieting. I think I need to run with this diet and see where it takes me. Yesterday, to avoid rush hour traffic going from where we live, which is west of Minneapolis, to where we needed to see Katie, which was east of St. Paul, I drove Ellie to west of St. Paul and had dinner at a Wendy's. Just looking at the small combo meal made me realize how much meal size has increased. The amount of pop was maybe 20 ounces. The French fries were huge. The hamburger was big. This was the smallest size of the smallest combo meal. Rather than try to wage war against the environment by cutting meals in half, I think I can just fast two days per week.
6:30 PM: The only one going out tonight is my son. We have a daughter going off to camp tomorrow, and I want to giver her a good send-off. Yesterday, I had breakfast with someone for a volunteer commitment, and it was such a delight to talk with her. Her story of her brilliant daughter going to Stanford, becoming a McKinsey & Co. consultant, and then taking a much less prestigious job so she can be with her family reinforced my own decision to place a priority on my family.
I have somewhat viewed my approach to dieting as heroic, to echo the words of Christopher Lawford in his book Symptoms of Withdrawal. I really don't want that to be my focus in life. If I were to look forward, what I see is more up and down of hunger and overeating followed by more and more times when I feel light and energetic. Do I really need to record all this? No. I keep on thinking that once a month weighing myself and updating how I feel is plenty. I need to make the conscious decision to change my focus. The best way to do that is simply to record -- on paper -- my steps, refrain from weighing myself, and realize that everyone is on a different journey: this is about me and no one else, not even our children.
I feel pretty darn good, pretty darn hopeful. A Minnesota summer is just gorgeous, day after day of sun and heat. Next week we go to the Boy Scout camp to spend time at Family Camp, where families stay and my daughter is a camp counselor. It's time to focus on that.
There's a favorite book of mine called Eat That Frog. In it, the author discusses time management techniques, including a technique of deciding to procrastinate on certain tasks. I think that's where I stand with dieting. I need to procrastinate on thinking about or writing about dieting. What I need to do is stick with this plan and monitor progress monthly. The months will pass whether or not I am writing about what I am doing.
My plan is solid, and I think it will work. I just have to test it out.
Day 2 – Sunday, July 10, 2011: I want to record my number of steps on a weekly basis. My goal for this month is 26 days in the month other than Sunday times 7,100 steps per day equals 184,600 steps. As of yesterday, I had a total of 70,992 steps. The pedometer is very motivating. Meanwhile, I continue to eat as I want on Sundays. I stayed up until midnight and had about 1,500 calories of chocolate covered caramels. That was all I wanted, which is less than the 4,000 calories of chocolate caramel clusters that I had several months ago.
Day 3 - Monday, July 11, 2011: So much for not writing as much --- This morning, I listened to a Dennis Prager podcast on "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." He argued that atheists simply make up morality, since morality is about values rather than facts. Religious people turn to God for morality. It embarrassed me as I listened to this podcast that I never consulted the Bible about my overeating. I glossed over any references to fasting. Now, after years of bouncing around testing different theories, I come to what is right in the Bible. At 10 this morning, I ended a 24 hour fast so my Temperance Points are at 1. I will try to fast twice more this week to get the number of points up to 3. When I broke the fast, I did not feel very hungry at all. I had oatmeal. At lunch just two hours later, I had more oatmeal and banana walnut bread. The though of a heavy meal was very off-putting. Is it possible that my desire to eat sweets comes from never really getting hungry and a commitment to fasting will alter what I crave? I don't know.
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011: 200.8 I am becoming convinced of the critical importance of exercise to good health. We are dogsitting a dog that did not recognize the word "walk". The owners said they had a fenced-in backyard so they don't need to walk her. We've had her less than a week and take her for at least two one-mile walks per day. Her stomach is visibly less rotund. She also loves walking. Yesterday, I forgot to wear my pedometer, so I'm glad I have such a minimal goal. I will need to be careful to buy clothes with pockets. I've bought several different pedometers and have settled on one which I really like because it seems accurate and is comfortable to wear.
10 PM: Way too complicated... I changed the diet, giving up meal timing and just working on fasting a maximum of two times per week. It doesn't seem to me that I can manage three fasts per week. Tonight, I started a second 24 hour fast after eating some food at 6 when dinner was not ready until 6:30.
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011: Last night, I ate several of the chocolate covered caramels that I had bought for my Feast Day. That would have made the day to have a -1 for Temperance Points. Then I started a fast which would have just gotten me to a net number of zero. I decided that this was just way too complex. My judgment of the effect of fasting is that it does lead to lowered eating. It's not that meal timing was a bad approach. Rather, meal timing was a necessary way for me to learn to delay eating. Now I think I'm ready to just try fasting. I'm not sure I can fast more than two times per week, so I'm just going to aim for two times per month. I'm also just going to aim for three times of strengthening exercises per week. If I miss for a week, then I've missed: there is no way to make up for missing. It is now almost 10 AM, and I am having no problem continuing my fast.
Next week, we will be at camp and away from all technology.
9:45 PM: The training wheels are off, and I think I may have a few tumbles in the next few weeks. I don't want the training wheels back on. I can eat what I want, and tonight I had Italian ice and chocolate covered caramels. How do I feel now? Not so great. That's good new. My body is giving me feedback. There is something about fasting that changes what and how much the body wants.
There is also the issue of self-control. Tonight, I had trouble getting Katie to go to swimming because she had a sleepover, was up late, and wanted to lounge around. I made her go and told her it was a matter of character: of doing what she committed to doing whether or not she felt like doing it right at that moment. I told her she cannot be reliable if she changes her mind about what she has committed to doing.
I had to chuckle to myself about my switches in dieting. Is this the final diet? Well... it is what is religious tradition. Even in the Bible, the Pharisee prayed that he fasted twice per week. I think that there is something of natural law in fasting, since I am not at all bothered by hunger when I am fasting. It's bizarre. How could I, who could not go an hour without feeling hunger, now go 24 hours without feeling hunger?
Day 6 – Thursday, July 14, 2011: My diet consists of two Fast Days per week, so there isn't much to do until the start of the week. I did my one strengthening exercise yesterday, and I have to remember to wear a pedometer. That's it. My weight may go up temporarily with the meal timing restrictions removed, and I'm OK with that. I like that I will have so little to manage when managing my weight. Now I need to focus on getting ready to go camping. We leave Sunday, and I need to plan and buy the food today.
10 AM: Even after almost three years of meal timing, I am not handling eating very well. I don't want to go backwards to the meal timing approach, so I'm going to consider three 24 hour fasts per week. They are so easy. What is really strange about them is that my sense of smell seems to improve. I have a terrible sense of smell and really miss the smell of fresh cut grass or, like today, the smell of wet summer. This morning, I could smell it. I so miss strong smells that I am even enjoying the smell of wet dog! Is there any causation here? Does fasting improve my sense of smell? I don't know. I think it may, however. I think there may be health benefits associated with fasting.
10 PM: I did not complete the fast and am now back to two fasts per week maximum. Fasting did something to my ability to control my behavior. It gave me staying power. I think it could give me some arrogance as well, so I need to watch it. There is something very powerful about fasting.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 2) Day 25 - Friday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.0 pounds.)
My diet is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to two times per week.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. The meal timing of The No S Diet were like training wheels on a bike. It took nearly three years for me to be able to take those training wheels off my bike.
My lifestyle is one of counting, and here are my goals:
1. I fast up to 24 hour for two times per week, if possible. The ending time of the fast determines if the fast is counted in one week or not. Weeks start at 12:01 AM Sunday and end at 12 PM Saturday.
2. I use a pedometer and have a goal of a certain number of steps per month. The number of steps per day started at 7,000 per day in June, 2011 and increases by 100 steps per day for each subsequent month. I count steps for all days other than Sundays.
3. I follow a very moderate program of strengthening exercises from the book Strong Women Stay Thin. The goal is three strengthening exercises per week. In July, 2011, I started with one strengthening exercise, the chair stand. In each subsequent month, I add a strengthening exercise.
Day 1 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0
Day 2 – Sunday, July 10, 2011:
Day 3 – Monday, July 11, 2011:
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011: 200.8
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011:
Day 6 – Thursday, July 14, 2011:
Day 7 – Friday, July 15, 2011:
Day 8 – Saturday, July 16, 2011:
Day 9 – Sunday, July 17, 2011:
Day 10 – Monday, July 18, 2011:
Day 11 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011:
Day 12 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011:
Day 13 – Thursday, July 21, 2011:
Day 14 – Friday, July 22, 2011:
Day 15 – Saturday, July 23, 2011:
Day 16 – Sunday, July 24, 2011:
Day 17 – Monday, July 25, 2011:
Day 18 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011:
Day 19 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 20 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 21 – Friday, July 29, 2011:
Day 22 – Saturday, July 30, 2011:
Day 23 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Saturday, July 9, 2011: 201.0 I decided to restart the diet because I had changed it. It's OK. I'm down four pounds from last month. That is good. Now I just need to keep up the work. My day to day weight, however, isn't as important is is the feeling of lightness and freedom that I got from fasting. It may be that I would not have been fat had I been in my 50s in the 1960s, but I will never know. It appears to me that I am influenced by the environment, and the diet I follow must protect me from that environment. That, I think, is what I have in this diet.
Katie comes home from camp today, Ellie leaves for camp tomorrow, and I am sick of being on the computer thinking about dieting. I think I need to run with this diet and see where it takes me. Yesterday, to avoid rush hour traffic going from where we live, which is west of Minneapolis, to where we needed to see Katie, which was east of St. Paul, I drove Ellie to west of St. Paul and had dinner at a Wendy's. Just looking at the small combo meal made me realize how much meal size has increased. The amount of pop was maybe 20 ounces. The French fries were huge. The hamburger was big. This was the smallest size of the smallest combo meal. Rather than try to wage war against the environment by cutting meals in half, I think I can just fast two days per week.
6:30 PM: The only one going out tonight is my son. We have a daughter going off to camp tomorrow, and I want to giver her a good send-off. Yesterday, I had breakfast with someone for a volunteer commitment, and it was such a delight to talk with her. Her story of her brilliant daughter going to Stanford, becoming a McKinsey & Co. consultant, and then taking a much less prestigious job so she can be with her family reinforced my own decision to place a priority on my family.
I have somewhat viewed my approach to dieting as heroic, to echo the words of Christopher Lawford in his book Symptoms of Withdrawal. I really don't want that to be my focus in life. If I were to look forward, what I see is more up and down of hunger and overeating followed by more and more times when I feel light and energetic. Do I really need to record all this? No. I keep on thinking that once a month weighing myself and updating how I feel is plenty. I need to make the conscious decision to change my focus. The best way to do that is simply to record -- on paper -- my steps, refrain from weighing myself, and realize that everyone is on a different journey: this is about me and no one else, not even our children.
I feel pretty darn good, pretty darn hopeful. A Minnesota summer is just gorgeous, day after day of sun and heat. Next week we go to the Boy Scout camp to spend time at Family Camp, where families stay and my daughter is a camp counselor. It's time to focus on that.
There's a favorite book of mine called Eat That Frog. In it, the author discusses time management techniques, including a technique of deciding to procrastinate on certain tasks. I think that's where I stand with dieting. I need to procrastinate on thinking about or writing about dieting. What I need to do is stick with this plan and monitor progress monthly. The months will pass whether or not I am writing about what I am doing.
My plan is solid, and I think it will work. I just have to test it out.
Day 2 – Sunday, July 10, 2011: I want to record my number of steps on a weekly basis. My goal for this month is 26 days in the month other than Sunday times 7,100 steps per day equals 184,600 steps. As of yesterday, I had a total of 70,992 steps. The pedometer is very motivating. Meanwhile, I continue to eat as I want on Sundays. I stayed up until midnight and had about 1,500 calories of chocolate covered caramels. That was all I wanted, which is less than the 4,000 calories of chocolate caramel clusters that I had several months ago.
Day 3 - Monday, July 11, 2011: So much for not writing as much --- This morning, I listened to a Dennis Prager podcast on "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." He argued that atheists simply make up morality, since morality is about values rather than facts. Religious people turn to God for morality. It embarrassed me as I listened to this podcast that I never consulted the Bible about my overeating. I glossed over any references to fasting. Now, after years of bouncing around testing different theories, I come to what is right in the Bible. At 10 this morning, I ended a 24 hour fast so my Temperance Points are at 1. I will try to fast twice more this week to get the number of points up to 3. When I broke the fast, I did not feel very hungry at all. I had oatmeal. At lunch just two hours later, I had more oatmeal and banana walnut bread. The though of a heavy meal was very off-putting. Is it possible that my desire to eat sweets comes from never really getting hungry and a commitment to fasting will alter what I crave? I don't know.
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 12, 2011: 200.8 I am becoming convinced of the critical importance of exercise to good health. We are dogsitting a dog that did not recognize the word "walk". The owners said they had a fenced-in backyard so they don't need to walk her. We've had her less than a week and take her for at least two one-mile walks per day. Her stomach is visibly less rotund. She also loves walking. Yesterday, I forgot to wear my pedometer, so I'm glad I have such a minimal goal. I will need to be careful to buy clothes with pockets. I've bought several different pedometers and have settled on one which I really like because it seems accurate and is comfortable to wear.
10 PM: Way too complicated... I changed the diet, giving up meal timing and just working on fasting a maximum of two times per week. It doesn't seem to me that I can manage three fasts per week. Tonight, I started a second 24 hour fast after eating some food at 6 when dinner was not ready until 6:30.
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 13, 2011: Last night, I ate several of the chocolate covered caramels that I had bought for my Feast Day. That would have made the day to have a -1 for Temperance Points. Then I started a fast which would have just gotten me to a net number of zero. I decided that this was just way too complex. My judgment of the effect of fasting is that it does lead to lowered eating. It's not that meal timing was a bad approach. Rather, meal timing was a necessary way for me to learn to delay eating. Now I think I'm ready to just try fasting. I'm not sure I can fast more than two times per week, so I'm just going to aim for two times per month. I'm also just going to aim for three times of strengthening exercises per week. If I miss for a week, then I've missed: there is no way to make up for missing. It is now almost 10 AM, and I am having no problem continuing my fast.
Next week, we will be at camp and away from all technology.
9:45 PM: The training wheels are off, and I think I may have a few tumbles in the next few weeks. I don't want the training wheels back on. I can eat what I want, and tonight I had Italian ice and chocolate covered caramels. How do I feel now? Not so great. That's good new. My body is giving me feedback. There is something about fasting that changes what and how much the body wants.
There is also the issue of self-control. Tonight, I had trouble getting Katie to go to swimming because she had a sleepover, was up late, and wanted to lounge around. I made her go and told her it was a matter of character: of doing what she committed to doing whether or not she felt like doing it right at that moment. I told her she cannot be reliable if she changes her mind about what she has committed to doing.
I had to chuckle to myself about my switches in dieting. Is this the final diet? Well... it is what is religious tradition. Even in the Bible, the Pharisee prayed that he fasted twice per week. I think that there is something of natural law in fasting, since I am not at all bothered by hunger when I am fasting. It's bizarre. How could I, who could not go an hour without feeling hunger, now go 24 hours without feeling hunger?
Day 6 – Thursday, July 14, 2011: My diet consists of two Fast Days per week, so there isn't much to do until the start of the week. I did my one strengthening exercise yesterday, and I have to remember to wear a pedometer. That's it. My weight may go up temporarily with the meal timing restrictions removed, and I'm OK with that. I like that I will have so little to manage when managing my weight. Now I need to focus on getting ready to go camping. We leave Sunday, and I need to plan and buy the food today.
10 AM: Even after almost three years of meal timing, I am not handling eating very well. I don't want to go backwards to the meal timing approach, so I'm going to consider three 24 hour fasts per week. They are so easy. What is really strange about them is that my sense of smell seems to improve. I have a terrible sense of smell and really miss the smell of fresh cut grass or, like today, the smell of wet summer. This morning, I could smell it. I so miss strong smells that I am even enjoying the smell of wet dog! Is there any causation here? Does fasting improve my sense of smell? I don't know. I think it may, however. I think there may be health benefits associated with fasting.
10 PM: I did not complete the fast and am now back to two fasts per week maximum. Fasting did something to my ability to control my behavior. It gave me staying power. I think it could give me some arrogance as well, so I need to watch it. There is something very powerful about fasting.
Last edited by Kathleen on Fri Jul 15, 2011 2:53 am, edited 12 times in total.
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Strawberry Roan
- Posts: 1208
- Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm
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Strawberry Roan
- Posts: 1208
- Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm
July 15, 2011: Cultivating the Virtue of Temperance
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Friday, July 15, 2011: 201.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.0 pounds.)
Day 1 – Friday, July 15, 2011: I do not know why, but I seem to need perfection in my diet. I am back to my plan of a week ago. I have no idea why the scale didn't show a weight gain of several pounds. Meal timing frees me to not think about food except at meals. I am embarrassed that I changed the diet again. This diet seems workable for me. Weight loss may be slow. Weight loss may even be non-existent. Nevertheless, I am going to try it. We go camping starting on Sunday, and the week is so relaxing because I have nothing to do but enjoy being on a beautiful lake in Northern Minnesota. It's time to change focus from dieting. I can't change focus if I'm continually experimenting. This diet is worth a year of experimentation to see what weight I am at the end of the year. We already have our reservation in for next year, so I can craft changes to the diet next year.
11 AM: This is such a mind game. I decided I could not manage three fasts per week which is why I went back to the program of subtracting one from the Temperance Balance on each Feast Day. I then restarted the count and reset the Temperance Balance to zero. What was the effect? I decided to fast for 24 hours to get my count up to one before I have to subtract one from the Temperance Valance on Sunday. Is there any problem with my fasting today? No. Was there a problem last night with my anticipating fasting today? Yes. The only difference is in my perception that, long term, I will only be fasting one to two times per week. I am finding my own bizarre constraints to dieting. There are two very significant ones: no portion control and the need for absolute perfection. The diet started today meets those two criteria, so I am running with it.
7 PM: I fasted until 6 PM and then ate dinner followed by Wheat Thins, acai berries covered with chocolate, and frozen waffles. It may be that I am no longer capable of meal timing. I think I'm going to try counting 100 fast days between now and next July 15 when we are back at the Boy Scout camp.
Day 2 – Saturday, July 16, 2011: It's only 7:30 AM, and I've already eaten a lot today. It then occurred to me that I don't have to eat a lot at a meal or anytime because I can eat as much as I want whenever I want except during two 24 hour fasts. I stopped eating. This is Intuitive Eating with two 24 hour fasts. With the Intuitive Eating approach, the idea is that you stop eating after you have given yourself "unconditional permission to eat" because there is no longer a need to overeat. The cause of overeating, according to the authors of that book, was eating in anticipation of dieting. The problem I had with that diet, and I gave it more than six months, is that I never stopped overeating. I went from 205 pounds to 215 pounds before I stopped. With fasting, I experience the pleasantness of a stomach that is not overburdened with food. What will happen? Will I become stuffed except on Fast Days, or will I learn eventually to do what is pleasant? I think it's worth the risk to try this. By my weight in September, I should know if it is going to work.
Tomorrow we leave for camping. What a wonderful, relaxing experience it is! Anne is a counselor there, so she'll be doing her own thing but I can visit with her. Katie and Ellie have all the activities they want. Tom and Tommy are about five miles away at a different site. I am left with nothing to do from Sunday afternoon when we arrive until Saturday morning when we leave. The meals are all planned and are all very simple. The food is bought and will be packed today. A whole entire week with nothing to do in a place that is beautiful beyond description...
4 PM: I always feel so rejuvenated at Many Point. This year, I am changing course in a way. I want to focus on being more organized, and I so I am bringing a book called The Checklist Manifesto and then creating lists. The way I run my life is so inefficient that it is painful for me to stand back and observe myself. For example, Ellie and Tom volunteered at the library this morning. I brought them down at 10, picked them up at 12, and then returned library books at 1. Why? Why didn't I get the library books before I took the kids this morning? With this diet, I just want to ignore it, count my number of time of fasting, count my steps, count my strengthening exercises, and stop fretting about getting to the perfect diet. I can follow this diet with perfection. I don't need to find the perfect diet if it exists at all.
Day 4 – Monday, July 18, 2011: We got to camp last night, and I was shocked by Anne's appearance. Tom thought he had gained weight. What's sad is she may be heavier than I am, and she's only 17 34 on her ACT, 2230 on the SAT, 5 in the Calculus BC AP test, and 5 on the AP World test. She is very smart and very motivated. What do I do? I know I cannot tell her what to do. What I can do is test the effectiveness of fasting for weight management. After seeing her, I decided to aim for 150 24-hour fasts from now until July 15 next year. I just finished Fast #1 at 11:30 AM today, and I started Fast #2 at 6:30 PM tonight. I think I will try for dinner to dinner fasts with a break of one day in-between. I feel so sad about Anne. Her eating problems came from me. Before I came up here, I looked up "fasting" in an online concordance to the Bible. Jesus said at one point that this sort of demon can only be cast out with prayer and fasting. Can gluttony be a demon?
Day 5 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011: It is almost 7 PM, and I just finished my second fast. I decided to enjoy my daughter and not make comments about her weight. She held a snorkeling class that I attended. During the break, she came up to talk with me. There is so much goodness in her. I have done OK having her gone, but there is a very special place in my heart for her, perhaps because she is my first-born. She was the first to come and will be the first to leave. It was for her that I have been so determined to find a way out of the diet/binge cycle. I am finding it so easy to fast that I am hopeful about giving her knowledge to use in managing her weight. Tonight, Ellie took my picture by Many Point Lake. It's my "Before" picture. I'll have her take my picture at the same spot next year.
Day 6 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011: It is quiet. I am sitting in the cabin. The girls are still asleep. I just had a chocolate bar after having a hard-boiled egg, a bowl of Frosted Flakes, a clementine, and a cup of milk. Now I am stuffed, and it feels good. The 24 hour fasts are not at all difficult,a and then I can each as much as I want. There is a problem with having this much food at one time and then fasting: my stomach can't handle it. I figure that I'll keep eating this way until I stop because of the discomfort from overeating. I am not controlling portions. Fasts result in self-regulation of food when not fasting.
Yesterday, I broke the glass filter in the coffee press, which means my last cup of coffee was on Monday. I gave the Scouts my coffee and had two diet Cokes today. Even so, I got a caffeine withdrawal headache and slept for 3 hours this evening. It's actually not a bad thing: i can remember that I gave up coffee at Many Point, my favorite place in the world. It is beautiful, and I love the quiet. The staff are so kind. Ellie overslept and didn't make it to a program across the lake, so the Aquatics Director took her there by speedboat rather than canoe. This is a place where the little things add up to big joy. I started my third fast at 6 PM.
Day 7 – Thursday, July 21, 2011: It is 7:30 AM, the girls are still sleeping, and I am reading. I am wearing a pair of Columbia shorts that I bought over the Fourth of July weekend that were too small for me when I bought them. Sitting here, I am remembering the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit about a guy who lost weight by eating only every other day.
10:30 PM: My Fast #3 ended at 6:30 PM. We went out to dinner as a family, and Tommy (age 15) said, "I ate so much I feel fat, and it feels good." True enough. It feels good to eat until you are stuffed. I pointed out to Tom that Iw as wearing the Columbia shorts he thought I would never wear, and he said he was surprised. I need to do and not talk because I've been certain so many times before that a diet would work, but I do feel hopeful. The reason for hope is that this diet is easy. Except for 3 24- hour periods per week, I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, and -- most important of all -- as much as I want. The 24 hour periods are not at all difficult. My stomach did growl at noon, but that was it. Anne didn't get off work until 8:15 PM, so we didn't have dinner until 9. I had 1/2 peanut butter sandwich at 6:30 PM as my first food of the day, and I was just fine.
Day 8 – Friday, July 22, 2011: I was going to fast again starting at lunch, but now I think I don't want to do that. There is a definite sense of accomplishment from fasting, and I don't want to get to where more and more fasting is better and better. Maybe I should limit my fasting to a maximum of 3 per week. In order to be confident of success, maybe I should lower my goal to 140 fasts until July 15, 2012. The standard number of fasts per week can be 3. If I fall short, that's OK, but I cannot exceed 3. I was going to have ice cream at 9 when the Trading Post opens. Now I won't. I've had a lot for breakfast -- a hard-boiled egg, 2 clementines, and Frosted Flakes -- and my body is rebelling. Maybe I can just eat moderately for now and start my next fast on Sunday night.
10:30 AM: I changed my mind and decided that I would follow a weight-loss approach that would not be something I would do long-term. The reason why is that Anne is really big. I think she'd follow a fasting approach if I was visibly thinner. I pick her up on August 22, one month from today. When I'm visiting my parents, I can't fast. That gives me three weeks. Also, it's really easy to fast and there are benefits to faster weight loss. I might aim for four 24-hour fasts per week.
12 PM: I think I'm going to reread the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit. His plan was to eat only every other day. That is more draconian than what I am doing. Actually, maybe I should stick with a goal of 150 fasts, a maximum of four per week.
Day 9 – Saturday, July 23, 2011: Fast #4 ends at lunch. I felt really bad yesterday and missed the closing campfire because of a caffeine withdrawal headache. I decided that I would keep the goal of 150 fasts until July 15 of next year and have a maximum of four per week. Next year, I'll plan on two fasts per week.
6:30 PM: We are home from camp. I look back at the week and think it was more of a retreat than a vacation. My life is now headed in a different directions. I think it is actually easier for me to fast 3 - 4 times per week than it would be to have only 1 or 2 fasts per week. With that number of fasts, my body will adjust quickly to a lower amount of food. I like feeling thinner, and I like that it shows in the fact that I am right now wearing a pair of shorts I could not wear when I bought them over the Fourth of July.
Anne will do OK. Yes, she is fat now, but would not want her to go down the path of constant portion control. A God who would strew the Milky Way across the sky, as I saw last night in looking out over the lake, could not possibly design human beings to be in a constant state of torture. It just cannot be. I knew there had to be a way without torture. It's embarrassing that I never consulted religious tradition or the Bible to find the answer in fasting, but there it is. Fasting is easy. Not at first -- no -- but fairly quickly it is.
Day 10 – Sunday, July 24, 2011: 202.4 I was brought down to earth with a thump when I weighed myself this morning. I had dispensed with meal timing as an approach because I did not like its added complexity. How the heck did I gain weight when I fasted for four 24 hour periods? Well, I managed! Being able to wear shorts that were too big for me gave me the false impression that I was losing weight. It's good that exercise seems to be having an effect on my body, but there ends a short experiment.
6:30 PM: I am restarting my count tomorrow with a slightly revised schedule in which the plan is to fast Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and Thursday dinner to Friday dinner.
Day 1 – Monday, July 25, 2011: 202.6 In the book Fast and Feast on medieval eating practices, gluttony was viewed chiefly as eating outside the proper time. In this society, there is no proper time. I need flexibility but also structure, so that is why I have a point system. All Christians above a certain age fasted on Wednesdays and Fridays until 3 PM. I am fasting dinner to dinner and allowing myself to skip a fast and fast instead on Mondays. I also am following No S rules for eating at mealtime only. This is way more complicated than I had hoped, but I need an individual structure that allows me to avoid the pitfalls of the societal view that eating six times per day is good for you.
What struck me this last week is that even many of the camp counselors were overweight. Anne did not stand out because two others on staff were also very big. How could this be? Camp counselors in their early twenties overweight?
In a society in which 2/3rds of adults are overweight or obese, there is something wrong with the belief system that leads to behavior which promotes overeating. I am relying on medieval wisdom to get me out of this problem, and medieval wisdom was that temperance was about eating during the proper time.
Yesterday was a Feast Day, and I feasted. I was surprised that my weight only went up to 202.6 from 202.4. Today I have no interest in eating, but it is strange not to have coffee. I can look back with fondness on Many Point every time I think of not having coffee, and that is a blessing.
8:30 PM: I am hot, hot, hot, and I binged starting at about 4. Sadly, I think I know why: I am too aggressive in what I am trying to do. I need to step back and just fast an average of one day per week. Will this have much effect? I don't know, but I sure do want to restore control of my eating.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Friday, July 15, 2011: 201.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 20.0 pounds.)
Day 1 – Friday, July 15, 2011: I do not know why, but I seem to need perfection in my diet. I am back to my plan of a week ago. I have no idea why the scale didn't show a weight gain of several pounds. Meal timing frees me to not think about food except at meals. I am embarrassed that I changed the diet again. This diet seems workable for me. Weight loss may be slow. Weight loss may even be non-existent. Nevertheless, I am going to try it. We go camping starting on Sunday, and the week is so relaxing because I have nothing to do but enjoy being on a beautiful lake in Northern Minnesota. It's time to change focus from dieting. I can't change focus if I'm continually experimenting. This diet is worth a year of experimentation to see what weight I am at the end of the year. We already have our reservation in for next year, so I can craft changes to the diet next year.
11 AM: This is such a mind game. I decided I could not manage three fasts per week which is why I went back to the program of subtracting one from the Temperance Balance on each Feast Day. I then restarted the count and reset the Temperance Balance to zero. What was the effect? I decided to fast for 24 hours to get my count up to one before I have to subtract one from the Temperance Valance on Sunday. Is there any problem with my fasting today? No. Was there a problem last night with my anticipating fasting today? Yes. The only difference is in my perception that, long term, I will only be fasting one to two times per week. I am finding my own bizarre constraints to dieting. There are two very significant ones: no portion control and the need for absolute perfection. The diet started today meets those two criteria, so I am running with it.
7 PM: I fasted until 6 PM and then ate dinner followed by Wheat Thins, acai berries covered with chocolate, and frozen waffles. It may be that I am no longer capable of meal timing. I think I'm going to try counting 100 fast days between now and next July 15 when we are back at the Boy Scout camp.
Day 2 – Saturday, July 16, 2011: It's only 7:30 AM, and I've already eaten a lot today. It then occurred to me that I don't have to eat a lot at a meal or anytime because I can eat as much as I want whenever I want except during two 24 hour fasts. I stopped eating. This is Intuitive Eating with two 24 hour fasts. With the Intuitive Eating approach, the idea is that you stop eating after you have given yourself "unconditional permission to eat" because there is no longer a need to overeat. The cause of overeating, according to the authors of that book, was eating in anticipation of dieting. The problem I had with that diet, and I gave it more than six months, is that I never stopped overeating. I went from 205 pounds to 215 pounds before I stopped. With fasting, I experience the pleasantness of a stomach that is not overburdened with food. What will happen? Will I become stuffed except on Fast Days, or will I learn eventually to do what is pleasant? I think it's worth the risk to try this. By my weight in September, I should know if it is going to work.
Tomorrow we leave for camping. What a wonderful, relaxing experience it is! Anne is a counselor there, so she'll be doing her own thing but I can visit with her. Katie and Ellie have all the activities they want. Tom and Tommy are about five miles away at a different site. I am left with nothing to do from Sunday afternoon when we arrive until Saturday morning when we leave. The meals are all planned and are all very simple. The food is bought and will be packed today. A whole entire week with nothing to do in a place that is beautiful beyond description...
4 PM: I always feel so rejuvenated at Many Point. This year, I am changing course in a way. I want to focus on being more organized, and I so I am bringing a book called The Checklist Manifesto and then creating lists. The way I run my life is so inefficient that it is painful for me to stand back and observe myself. For example, Ellie and Tom volunteered at the library this morning. I brought them down at 10, picked them up at 12, and then returned library books at 1. Why? Why didn't I get the library books before I took the kids this morning? With this diet, I just want to ignore it, count my number of time of fasting, count my steps, count my strengthening exercises, and stop fretting about getting to the perfect diet. I can follow this diet with perfection. I don't need to find the perfect diet if it exists at all.
Day 4 – Monday, July 18, 2011: We got to camp last night, and I was shocked by Anne's appearance. Tom thought he had gained weight. What's sad is she may be heavier than I am, and she's only 17 34 on her ACT, 2230 on the SAT, 5 in the Calculus BC AP test, and 5 on the AP World test. She is very smart and very motivated. What do I do? I know I cannot tell her what to do. What I can do is test the effectiveness of fasting for weight management. After seeing her, I decided to aim for 150 24-hour fasts from now until July 15 next year. I just finished Fast #1 at 11:30 AM today, and I started Fast #2 at 6:30 PM tonight. I think I will try for dinner to dinner fasts with a break of one day in-between. I feel so sad about Anne. Her eating problems came from me. Before I came up here, I looked up "fasting" in an online concordance to the Bible. Jesus said at one point that this sort of demon can only be cast out with prayer and fasting. Can gluttony be a demon?
Day 5 – Tuesday, July 19, 2011: It is almost 7 PM, and I just finished my second fast. I decided to enjoy my daughter and not make comments about her weight. She held a snorkeling class that I attended. During the break, she came up to talk with me. There is so much goodness in her. I have done OK having her gone, but there is a very special place in my heart for her, perhaps because she is my first-born. She was the first to come and will be the first to leave. It was for her that I have been so determined to find a way out of the diet/binge cycle. I am finding it so easy to fast that I am hopeful about giving her knowledge to use in managing her weight. Tonight, Ellie took my picture by Many Point Lake. It's my "Before" picture. I'll have her take my picture at the same spot next year.
Day 6 – Wednesday, July 20, 2011: It is quiet. I am sitting in the cabin. The girls are still asleep. I just had a chocolate bar after having a hard-boiled egg, a bowl of Frosted Flakes, a clementine, and a cup of milk. Now I am stuffed, and it feels good. The 24 hour fasts are not at all difficult,a and then I can each as much as I want. There is a problem with having this much food at one time and then fasting: my stomach can't handle it. I figure that I'll keep eating this way until I stop because of the discomfort from overeating. I am not controlling portions. Fasts result in self-regulation of food when not fasting.
Yesterday, I broke the glass filter in the coffee press, which means my last cup of coffee was on Monday. I gave the Scouts my coffee and had two diet Cokes today. Even so, I got a caffeine withdrawal headache and slept for 3 hours this evening. It's actually not a bad thing: i can remember that I gave up coffee at Many Point, my favorite place in the world. It is beautiful, and I love the quiet. The staff are so kind. Ellie overslept and didn't make it to a program across the lake, so the Aquatics Director took her there by speedboat rather than canoe. This is a place where the little things add up to big joy. I started my third fast at 6 PM.
Day 7 – Thursday, July 21, 2011: It is 7:30 AM, the girls are still sleeping, and I am reading. I am wearing a pair of Columbia shorts that I bought over the Fourth of July weekend that were too small for me when I bought them. Sitting here, I am remembering the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit about a guy who lost weight by eating only every other day.
10:30 PM: My Fast #3 ended at 6:30 PM. We went out to dinner as a family, and Tommy (age 15) said, "I ate so much I feel fat, and it feels good." True enough. It feels good to eat until you are stuffed. I pointed out to Tom that Iw as wearing the Columbia shorts he thought I would never wear, and he said he was surprised. I need to do and not talk because I've been certain so many times before that a diet would work, but I do feel hopeful. The reason for hope is that this diet is easy. Except for 3 24- hour periods per week, I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, and -- most important of all -- as much as I want. The 24 hour periods are not at all difficult. My stomach did growl at noon, but that was it. Anne didn't get off work until 8:15 PM, so we didn't have dinner until 9. I had 1/2 peanut butter sandwich at 6:30 PM as my first food of the day, and I was just fine.
Day 8 – Friday, July 22, 2011: I was going to fast again starting at lunch, but now I think I don't want to do that. There is a definite sense of accomplishment from fasting, and I don't want to get to where more and more fasting is better and better. Maybe I should limit my fasting to a maximum of 3 per week. In order to be confident of success, maybe I should lower my goal to 140 fasts until July 15, 2012. The standard number of fasts per week can be 3. If I fall short, that's OK, but I cannot exceed 3. I was going to have ice cream at 9 when the Trading Post opens. Now I won't. I've had a lot for breakfast -- a hard-boiled egg, 2 clementines, and Frosted Flakes -- and my body is rebelling. Maybe I can just eat moderately for now and start my next fast on Sunday night.
10:30 AM: I changed my mind and decided that I would follow a weight-loss approach that would not be something I would do long-term. The reason why is that Anne is really big. I think she'd follow a fasting approach if I was visibly thinner. I pick her up on August 22, one month from today. When I'm visiting my parents, I can't fast. That gives me three weeks. Also, it's really easy to fast and there are benefits to faster weight loss. I might aim for four 24-hour fasts per week.
12 PM: I think I'm going to reread the book Ultra Fat to Ultra Fit. His plan was to eat only every other day. That is more draconian than what I am doing. Actually, maybe I should stick with a goal of 150 fasts, a maximum of four per week.
Day 9 – Saturday, July 23, 2011: Fast #4 ends at lunch. I felt really bad yesterday and missed the closing campfire because of a caffeine withdrawal headache. I decided that I would keep the goal of 150 fasts until July 15 of next year and have a maximum of four per week. Next year, I'll plan on two fasts per week.
6:30 PM: We are home from camp. I look back at the week and think it was more of a retreat than a vacation. My life is now headed in a different directions. I think it is actually easier for me to fast 3 - 4 times per week than it would be to have only 1 or 2 fasts per week. With that number of fasts, my body will adjust quickly to a lower amount of food. I like feeling thinner, and I like that it shows in the fact that I am right now wearing a pair of shorts I could not wear when I bought them over the Fourth of July.
Anne will do OK. Yes, she is fat now, but would not want her to go down the path of constant portion control. A God who would strew the Milky Way across the sky, as I saw last night in looking out over the lake, could not possibly design human beings to be in a constant state of torture. It just cannot be. I knew there had to be a way without torture. It's embarrassing that I never consulted religious tradition or the Bible to find the answer in fasting, but there it is. Fasting is easy. Not at first -- no -- but fairly quickly it is.
Day 10 – Sunday, July 24, 2011: 202.4 I was brought down to earth with a thump when I weighed myself this morning. I had dispensed with meal timing as an approach because I did not like its added complexity. How the heck did I gain weight when I fasted for four 24 hour periods? Well, I managed! Being able to wear shorts that were too big for me gave me the false impression that I was losing weight. It's good that exercise seems to be having an effect on my body, but there ends a short experiment.
6:30 PM: I am restarting my count tomorrow with a slightly revised schedule in which the plan is to fast Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and Thursday dinner to Friday dinner.
Day 1 – Monday, July 25, 2011: 202.6 In the book Fast and Feast on medieval eating practices, gluttony was viewed chiefly as eating outside the proper time. In this society, there is no proper time. I need flexibility but also structure, so that is why I have a point system. All Christians above a certain age fasted on Wednesdays and Fridays until 3 PM. I am fasting dinner to dinner and allowing myself to skip a fast and fast instead on Mondays. I also am following No S rules for eating at mealtime only. This is way more complicated than I had hoped, but I need an individual structure that allows me to avoid the pitfalls of the societal view that eating six times per day is good for you.
What struck me this last week is that even many of the camp counselors were overweight. Anne did not stand out because two others on staff were also very big. How could this be? Camp counselors in their early twenties overweight?
In a society in which 2/3rds of adults are overweight or obese, there is something wrong with the belief system that leads to behavior which promotes overeating. I am relying on medieval wisdom to get me out of this problem, and medieval wisdom was that temperance was about eating during the proper time.
Yesterday was a Feast Day, and I feasted. I was surprised that my weight only went up to 202.6 from 202.4. Today I have no interest in eating, but it is strange not to have coffee. I can look back with fondness on Many Point every time I think of not having coffee, and that is a blessing.
8:30 PM: I am hot, hot, hot, and I binged starting at about 4. Sadly, I think I know why: I am too aggressive in what I am trying to do. I need to step back and just fast an average of one day per week. Will this have much effect? I don't know, but I sure do want to restore control of my eating.
Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:48 am, edited 10 times in total.
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, I am still watching, and I feel a need to AGAIN tell youI am finding my own bizarre constraints to dieting.
There are two very significant ones:
......no portion control
and
......the need for absolute perfection
that your two "constraints to dieting" provide a guarantee of weight-loss failure.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I have a saying: "Some lessons are best learned the hard way." That may be the case with me. I will keep trying until I succeed or I realize that the constraints preclude success. Your comments are welcome, but I'm just not ready to admit defeat. I will say this, though: it is not helpful for me to be changing my diet every few days. I commit to following this diet for a year. Next year, God willing, I will be headed back to Many Point on July 15. If I can follow this diet until then, I know I'll know if fasting can result in weight loss. That's my goal for the year: to find out. This is an experiment.
Kathleen
I have a saying: "Some lessons are best learned the hard way." That may be the case with me. I will keep trying until I succeed or I realize that the constraints preclude success. Your comments are welcome, but I'm just not ready to admit defeat. I will say this, though: it is not helpful for me to be changing my diet every few days. I commit to following this diet for a year. Next year, God willing, I will be headed back to Many Point on July 15. If I can follow this diet until then, I know I'll know if fasting can result in weight loss. That's my goal for the year: to find out. This is an experiment.
Kathleen
July 26, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 22.0 pounds.)
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing. It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to three times per week, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. I learned from reading the book Why We Get Fat that low-carb diets and fasting have something in common: there is surprisingly little feeling of hunger. The big benefit of fasting is that a fast ends, whereas you are constantly restricted in your eating with the low-carb approach.
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking Temperance Points, and I assign points, which I call Temperance Points, to each day. There are four types of days:
1. Normal Days: These are all Sundays and only Sundays. On these days, I have three meals but no snacks or sweets. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no portion control). I also can have caloric liquids any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
2. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for any 24-hour period or from one dinner until 6 PM the next night or from one dinner until dinner the next night. For the rest of the day after my fast ends, I follow the rules of a Normal Day. I can fast no more than three times per week. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially those done by virtually everyone during the medieval period. The ending time for the Fast Day makes the day a Fast Day.
3. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day. This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The Exception Day is from one midnight to the next.
My overarching goal for dieting is to keep the number of Temperance Points above 0. Here is how I calculate points:
Normal Day: 0
Fast Day: 1
Exception Day: -1
I also have two exercise goals for this month:
- Average 10,000 steps/month for each day that is not a Sunday.
- Do strengthening exercises three times per week. I do the six basic exercise from Strong Women Stay Slim plus one optional exercise from that same book, which is the pelvic tilt.
The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon is a detailed description of why fasting is good for you. I was impressed by how the book countered the conventional wisdom that it is important to eat every few hours. I am more impressed, however, by the medieval Christian tradition that had everyone in society fasting two days per week.
We don't live in a society like that. I track Temperance Points as a way to give myself the flexibility to eat in this society while still being able to eat when it is socially appropriate to do so. There is no physical need for three to six eating occasions per day, at least as I have experienced with fasting. There is, however, a need to be able to eat for social reasons.
There is no "portion control". In fact, I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic. Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet?
In contrast to the modern “portion control†approach to weight management, those who lived in the medieval period viewed gluttons as those who ate outside the proscribed times, not those who ate too much. (This is from the book Fast and Feast.) I return to that definition of gluttony as my way to cultivate the virtue of temperance.
And why do I call it the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I had been at Many Point Scout Camp the week before I started this diet. There is a Family Camp there for siblings of Scouts, and my beloved Anne is a camp counselor there this year. On the Thursday night when I was there, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful site! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe.
There is something very religious about fasting. Fasting is about self-control and self-discipline. I have to fight my tendency to eat whatever and whenever I want, and fasting is the traditional religious way to fight gluttony.
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 202.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: 203.0
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: 202.6
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Fasts and Temperance Points as of the End of the Day:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 0
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011: 0
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011: -1
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: -1
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: -2
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011: -4
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 These recruiters know that I am planning to return to work after Labor Day, and I am already getting calls. I got submitted last week for a position, and I may get submitted today for another position. It simply isn't possible for me to be doing a lot of thinking about dieting. While I am not sure if I will lose much weight with my revised diet, it is better than the last one that was stable that I followed because it adds an average of one Fast Day per week, it adds strengthening exercises, and it adds walking. My week at Many Point last week was more of a retreat than a vacation. It gave me time to think. With my return, I realized that I cannot replace meal timing with fasting because there just isn't enough flexibility for me to fast as much as I would need to fast, so I am returning to a hybrid of meal timing and fasting. I have debated how many days to fast on average, and I think I need to humbly accept that I am not yet ready for anything more rigorous than one Fast Day per week. That's OK. It took me nearly a year to go from two days per week of "unconditional permission to eat" to one day per week of "unconditional permission to eat." Now I can start off with one Fast Day per week and consider two Fast Days next year. I simply must turn my focus to my family so that I am prepared for full-time work in six weeks.
10 PM: I'm restarting already. It occurred to me that what I have been lacking is commitment to stick with a plan. Today is the Feast Day of St. Anne, the mother of Mary, and we used to celebrate our kids' Feast Days (a German tradition) until we had four kids and it just got to be too much. It's an appropriate day to restart my diet, since my motivation is largely to find a path out of obesity that my daughter can follow. It can be done. This is a diet that can be followed, that is not torturous like "portion control" diets. It does, however, take life-long discipline. Is this diet worth the effort? Absolutely. I've just been delaying the start date. Now is as good a time as any to start. What is most unrewarding of all is to be obese and on a diet. It's OK to be thin and on a diet, so I'm just going to imagine myself already thin as I follow this diet.
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011: When I stalled on losing weight with The No S Diet and could not get below 195, I decided to stay with it and just accept a weight still in the obesity range. Now I have got a plan which I can follow for life, and I think I need to decide I will do so for at least a year. If I am still losing weight next summer, maybe I should wait for an additional year. July 26th is a good time for a diet modification. I will have returned from Many Point by then and can consider changes to a diet then. I just had to get off the "portion control" trainwreck, but it sure hasn't gone well these past two years as I have tried to figure out what I could do other than meal timing. I hope I finally have a plan that will work. I am happy that I can fit into clothes that I had stored away, and I believe that this is due to my walking. AT least that is going well.
2 PM: Now I feel hungry. This is where self-discipline is what makes or breaks my success at dieting. I simply must wait a few hours before I eat. In contrast, with "portion control" dieting, the battle is against the body's desire to avoid starvation. I prefer the fasting and meal timing approach, since it is about self-discipline. The problem here is that it requires self-discipline, and I've lost some self-discipline when I careened into a fasting-only approach. Oh well...
8 PM: This is from an Internet site that I reached by typing Greek Orthodox fasting:
"Gluttony makes a man gloomy and fearful, but fasting makes him joyful and courageous.
And, as gluttony calls forth greater and greater gluttony, so fasting stimulates greater and greater endurance.
When a man realizes the grace that comes through fasting, he desires to fast more and more.
And the graces that come through fasting are countless...."
~Saint Nikolai of Zicha~
From St. John Cassian:
" Perfection of mind indeed depends upon the abstinence of the belly. He has no lasting purity and chastity, who is not contented always to keep to a well-balanced and temperate diet. Fasting, although severe, yet if unnecessary relaxation follows, is rendered useless, and presently leads to the vice of gluttony. A reasonable supply of food partaken of daily with moderation, is better than a severe and long fast at intervals. Excessive fasting has been known not only to undermine the constancy of the mind, but also to weaken the power of prayers through sheer weariness of body."
I have been looking for the perfect diet, and it doesn't exist because we all have different bodies and different tolerances for fasting. There is so much common sense in this. Right now, I think I am at the limit of what I can do, and that is why I need to be following this approach for a year -- until I have it down pat.
At the end of that year, I will be different and then I can consider modifications.
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011: Today is my first Fast Day since coming home from camp, and I am impressed by how different it is because I stopped drinking coffee last week when I broke the glass in the coffee filter at work. I no longer have to time the ingestion of caffeine in a certain amount within a certain period of time in order to avoid a caffeine withdrawal headache. I am no longer dependent on caffeine. I think that weight loss may be a secondary effect of fasting. The real benefit comes from the freedom of knowing you are not dependent on getting a certain number of calories within a certain period of time in order to avoid the pain of starvation. That analogy may seem far-fetched, but I do see reference in magazines to becoming "ravenous" if you don't get enough food within a short period of time. It's bunk, and you only realize it's bunk if you adjust to fasting. The real problem is that people get accustomed to eating all the time and feel ravenous if they stop. Giving up coffee was not pleasant at all and caused me to miss the last campfire at Many Point, a fact that I will repeat to myself when I am tempted to have coffee again. Like giving up coffee, starting to fast can be extremely unpleasant. I now have had some experiences that tell me that fasting can be a non-event. It actually saves time because I don't have to eat! I think that the Greek Orthodox are right in their view that fasting has a very positive effect on the human being, freeing a person to concentrate on things other than when the next food will come. Dieting has the opposite effect: the entire focus is on counting calories and timing when to eat so as to minimize the ongoing feeling of starvation. Never will I return to that!
6 PM: I took too big of a step and stumbled. The No S Diet which I followed which was stable was every Sunday a day of "unconditional permission to eat" plus two additional Exception Days per month and no Fast Days. To go from that to no Exception Days per month plus one Fast Day for every Sunday was a dramatic change. I need to dial back.
How do I dial back? Well, I can look at this month as giving me two Exception Days. I tracked Exception Days. Now I need to track Temperance Points. August has four Sundays (Feast Days). If I were to award myself additional Temperance Points at the start of August, it should be one for each Sunday and two additional for Exception Days. That would mean six points. I was trying to start with zero points. That's too big of a difference and the reason for my inability to get this to work.
I'm going to say that I now have 1 Temperance Point and then I'm going to add five on August 1 and subtract one for each Feast Day. In September, I can add four. In October, I can add three. This is a way to adjust slowly to changes in diet.
St. John Cassian said something about how moderation is different for each person because each person's body is different. That makes a lot of sense to me. I may eventually be able to fast two per month, but I'm only going to make one change per month. This is very, very slow, but that's OK.
8 PM: I was going to fast tomorrow but decided I need to just focus on the meal timing. I won't try to fast until September.
10:30 PM: I looked up St. John Cassian and gluttony on the Internet and found this: "“I shall speak first about control of the stomach, the opposite to gluttony, and about how to fast and what and how much to eat. I shall say nothing on my own account, but only what I have received from the Holy Fathers. They have not given us only a single rule for fasting or a single standard and measure for eating, because not everyone has the same strength — age, illness or delicacy of body create differences. But they have given us all a single goal: to avoid over-eating and the filling of our bellies. They also found a day’s fast to be more beneficial and a greater help toward purity than one extending over a period of three, four, or even seven days. Someone who fasts for too long, they say, often ends up by eating too much food. The result is that at times the body becomes enervated through undue lack of food and sluggish over its spiritual exercises, while at other times, weighed down by the mass of food it has eaten, it makes the soul listless and slack.â€
To avoid the over-filling of the belly sounds a lot like portion control. I'm not budging from the idea that portion control is bad for me, so I am picking up only on what I think is helpful: the idea that "not everyone has the same strength." I took on too much in my shift to one Fast Day per week. It was more than I could manage long-term. I like the idea of using Temperance Point additions each first of the month and reducing them to adjust gradually to less food and to fasting.
It's a longer journey than I would have liked, but that's where I am today and that's the way it is.
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: 203.0 I think I've figured out a way to transition to the addition of fasting to this meal timing diet. This has gotten really complicated but it is revised off my old idea of giving myself two Exception Days per month.
3:30 PM: I am not feeling too well and have been tempted to have an ice cream drumstick. I would give this diet a 100% contrast to the Hunger Satisfaction Diet in which I only ate when I felt hungry. Now I eat according to a schedule. Tonight we are going to the Guthrie Theater, and all I have to do is hang on long enough to enjoy that. It is nice to resist the whims of my body. I can plan knowing when I will eat.
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: 202.6 There was virtual plating last night at dinner because Tom wanted appetizers. That's OK. I rarely try virtual plating and rarely have pop, but it's nice that I can tweak The No S Diet rules to suit myself. It's probably been a year since I figured out that fasting was an important component of weight control, but what I didn't know was how to adjust to it. What is nice about having Temperance Points is that I can make small adjustments at the start of each month. My steady-state No S Diet approach was to award myself two "days of unconditional permission to eat" at the start of the month that I called Exception Days but not to use any points for Sundays which were also days of "unconditional permission to eat". That was logical, since I always had Sundays as days of "unconditional permission to eat." Going forward, Sundays will continue to be days of "unconditional permission to eat" but I will need to earn them by fasting. As I am sitting here typing away, I am realizing that I have a simpler approach to accomplish the same thing: I can just adjust the number of Temperance Points given at the beginning of the month like I did with Exception Days.
For me, simplicity is key. I can't be spending time counting calories or carbs, but I can count days. The simpler the counting, the easier this diet will be and the more likely I will continue it.
I am right now at 1 Temperance Point. As of Monday, I will award myself one more. That gives me two for the month. I may try a 24 hour fast to increase the number to three.
As of September 1, I will not award myself any Temperance Points.
On October 1, I will remove one Temperance Point. That will force me to fast as a way to make up for it.
On November 1, I will remove two Temperance Points. The change will be gradual for this diet because it means that I will force an additional change each month that affects only one day. Because the changes are cumulative, I will have time to find that "sweet spot" where I can get to a low enough weight without a lot of difficulty. At some point, the pain of the diet will outweigh the benefit of additional weight loss, and then I will return to the goals of one month prior.
I like it.
With The No S Diet and my two Exception Days per month, I stuck to it for a long time and got quite accustomed to it. It would have been fine to follow for life had I not gotten stuck at 195. This new approach, because it is changing slowly each month, does not involve the risk of getting stuck at an unacceptably high weight.
Given that I have already documented to death my adjustment to the two Exception Days per month approach, I'm not sure there is much point in documenting a re-adjustment. I may try to just update my diet once per month. My weight loss is going to be slow, and that's OK. I want it to be permanent. If slow makes for permanent, that's what I'll do.
By far the best part of all for The No S Diet is that I have managed to avoid the out of control eating that I now recognize is a natural effect of portion control dieting. In trying to move to fasting too quickly, I experienced out of control eating a few times, and what those experiences did was reinforce my determination to continue down this path.
I cannot put into words the beauty of looking out Many Point Lake at night and seeing the Milky Way. I've backpacked in Yellowstone and Glacier. I've traveled all over Europe, from Norway fjords to Greek islands. Despite that, what I think is most beautiful of anything I have seen is the night sky at Many Point Scout Camp. I simply cannot believe that a God who created that beauty would create man with a choice between obesity and the feeling of constant starvation. It must be that scientific assumptions have created this obesity epidemic, and I think that those assumptions are the need to control portions and the need to eat frequently.
7 PM: I decided to plunge in with -2 on Feast Days. When I started The No S Diet, I plunged in. Now I can add an average of two Fast Days per week. It should be a difficult start, but I bet I'm all through the difficulty by the beginning of September.
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011: -4 I decided just to calculate my number of Temperance Points based on a start of 0 as of July 26, which is when I started my diet. I feel good about a "plunge in" approach. There is one adjustment period, and that is it. I don't see how I could do more than this diet.
This morning, at church, there were prayer shawls offered free of charge. Katie wanted one, and I told her she'd have to pray if she took one. She agreed. I thought about it, and I think there is something to this idea. There is, I believe, a Jewish tradition of wearing special clothing for prayer. What does this have to do with dieting? I think that fasting has an effect that is well beyond weight loss, and it scares me. I think fasting is going to change me in a fundamental way. It may be positive, but it is still a fundamental change.
I'm going ahead.
My current Temperance Points are -4. That's OK. I'll just plan to fast three days per week until I am up to the positive range. I will weigh myself in August, but I sure won't weigh myself tomorrow!!! Today was a day of "unconditional permission to eat".
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 22.0 pounds.)
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing. It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting up to three times per week, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. I learned from reading the book Why We Get Fat that low-carb diets and fasting have something in common: there is surprisingly little feeling of hunger. The big benefit of fasting is that a fast ends, whereas you are constantly restricted in your eating with the low-carb approach.
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking Temperance Points, and I assign points, which I call Temperance Points, to each day. There are four types of days:
1. Normal Days: These are all Sundays and only Sundays. On these days, I have three meals but no snacks or sweets. I have breakfast, lunch and dinner. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no portion control). I also can have caloric liquids any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
2. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for any 24-hour period or from one dinner until 6 PM the next night or from one dinner until dinner the next night. For the rest of the day after my fast ends, I follow the rules of a Normal Day. I can fast no more than three times per week. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially those done by virtually everyone during the medieval period. The ending time for the Fast Day makes the day a Fast Day.
3. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day. This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The Exception Day is from one midnight to the next.
My overarching goal for dieting is to keep the number of Temperance Points above 0. Here is how I calculate points:
Normal Day: 0
Fast Day: 1
Exception Day: -1
I also have two exercise goals for this month:
- Average 10,000 steps/month for each day that is not a Sunday.
- Do strengthening exercises three times per week. I do the six basic exercise from Strong Women Stay Slim plus one optional exercise from that same book, which is the pelvic tilt.
The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon is a detailed description of why fasting is good for you. I was impressed by how the book countered the conventional wisdom that it is important to eat every few hours. I am more impressed, however, by the medieval Christian tradition that had everyone in society fasting two days per week.
We don't live in a society like that. I track Temperance Points as a way to give myself the flexibility to eat in this society while still being able to eat when it is socially appropriate to do so. There is no physical need for three to six eating occasions per day, at least as I have experienced with fasting. There is, however, a need to be able to eat for social reasons.
There is no "portion control". In fact, I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic. Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet?
In contrast to the modern “portion control†approach to weight management, those who lived in the medieval period viewed gluttons as those who ate outside the proscribed times, not those who ate too much. (This is from the book Fast and Feast.) I return to that definition of gluttony as my way to cultivate the virtue of temperance.
And why do I call it the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I had been at Many Point Scout Camp the week before I started this diet. There is a Family Camp there for siblings of Scouts, and my beloved Anne is a camp counselor there this year. On the Thursday night when I was there, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful site! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe.
There is something very religious about fasting. Fasting is about self-control and self-discipline. I have to fight my tendency to eat whatever and whenever I want, and fasting is the traditional religious way to fight gluttony.
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 202.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: 203.0
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: 202.6
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011:
Fasts and Temperance Points as of the End of the Day:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 0
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011: 0
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011: -1
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: -1
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: -2
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011: -4
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 These recruiters know that I am planning to return to work after Labor Day, and I am already getting calls. I got submitted last week for a position, and I may get submitted today for another position. It simply isn't possible for me to be doing a lot of thinking about dieting. While I am not sure if I will lose much weight with my revised diet, it is better than the last one that was stable that I followed because it adds an average of one Fast Day per week, it adds strengthening exercises, and it adds walking. My week at Many Point last week was more of a retreat than a vacation. It gave me time to think. With my return, I realized that I cannot replace meal timing with fasting because there just isn't enough flexibility for me to fast as much as I would need to fast, so I am returning to a hybrid of meal timing and fasting. I have debated how many days to fast on average, and I think I need to humbly accept that I am not yet ready for anything more rigorous than one Fast Day per week. That's OK. It took me nearly a year to go from two days per week of "unconditional permission to eat" to one day per week of "unconditional permission to eat." Now I can start off with one Fast Day per week and consider two Fast Days next year. I simply must turn my focus to my family so that I am prepared for full-time work in six weeks.
10 PM: I'm restarting already. It occurred to me that what I have been lacking is commitment to stick with a plan. Today is the Feast Day of St. Anne, the mother of Mary, and we used to celebrate our kids' Feast Days (a German tradition) until we had four kids and it just got to be too much. It's an appropriate day to restart my diet, since my motivation is largely to find a path out of obesity that my daughter can follow. It can be done. This is a diet that can be followed, that is not torturous like "portion control" diets. It does, however, take life-long discipline. Is this diet worth the effort? Absolutely. I've just been delaying the start date. Now is as good a time as any to start. What is most unrewarding of all is to be obese and on a diet. It's OK to be thin and on a diet, so I'm just going to imagine myself already thin as I follow this diet.
Day 2 – Wednesday, July 27, 2011: When I stalled on losing weight with The No S Diet and could not get below 195, I decided to stay with it and just accept a weight still in the obesity range. Now I have got a plan which I can follow for life, and I think I need to decide I will do so for at least a year. If I am still losing weight next summer, maybe I should wait for an additional year. July 26th is a good time for a diet modification. I will have returned from Many Point by then and can consider changes to a diet then. I just had to get off the "portion control" trainwreck, but it sure hasn't gone well these past two years as I have tried to figure out what I could do other than meal timing. I hope I finally have a plan that will work. I am happy that I can fit into clothes that I had stored away, and I believe that this is due to my walking. AT least that is going well.
2 PM: Now I feel hungry. This is where self-discipline is what makes or breaks my success at dieting. I simply must wait a few hours before I eat. In contrast, with "portion control" dieting, the battle is against the body's desire to avoid starvation. I prefer the fasting and meal timing approach, since it is about self-discipline. The problem here is that it requires self-discipline, and I've lost some self-discipline when I careened into a fasting-only approach. Oh well...
8 PM: This is from an Internet site that I reached by typing Greek Orthodox fasting:
"Gluttony makes a man gloomy and fearful, but fasting makes him joyful and courageous.
And, as gluttony calls forth greater and greater gluttony, so fasting stimulates greater and greater endurance.
When a man realizes the grace that comes through fasting, he desires to fast more and more.
And the graces that come through fasting are countless...."
~Saint Nikolai of Zicha~
From St. John Cassian:
" Perfection of mind indeed depends upon the abstinence of the belly. He has no lasting purity and chastity, who is not contented always to keep to a well-balanced and temperate diet. Fasting, although severe, yet if unnecessary relaxation follows, is rendered useless, and presently leads to the vice of gluttony. A reasonable supply of food partaken of daily with moderation, is better than a severe and long fast at intervals. Excessive fasting has been known not only to undermine the constancy of the mind, but also to weaken the power of prayers through sheer weariness of body."
I have been looking for the perfect diet, and it doesn't exist because we all have different bodies and different tolerances for fasting. There is so much common sense in this. Right now, I think I am at the limit of what I can do, and that is why I need to be following this approach for a year -- until I have it down pat.
At the end of that year, I will be different and then I can consider modifications.
Day 3 – Thursday, July 28, 2011: Today is my first Fast Day since coming home from camp, and I am impressed by how different it is because I stopped drinking coffee last week when I broke the glass in the coffee filter at work. I no longer have to time the ingestion of caffeine in a certain amount within a certain period of time in order to avoid a caffeine withdrawal headache. I am no longer dependent on caffeine. I think that weight loss may be a secondary effect of fasting. The real benefit comes from the freedom of knowing you are not dependent on getting a certain number of calories within a certain period of time in order to avoid the pain of starvation. That analogy may seem far-fetched, but I do see reference in magazines to becoming "ravenous" if you don't get enough food within a short period of time. It's bunk, and you only realize it's bunk if you adjust to fasting. The real problem is that people get accustomed to eating all the time and feel ravenous if they stop. Giving up coffee was not pleasant at all and caused me to miss the last campfire at Many Point, a fact that I will repeat to myself when I am tempted to have coffee again. Like giving up coffee, starting to fast can be extremely unpleasant. I now have had some experiences that tell me that fasting can be a non-event. It actually saves time because I don't have to eat! I think that the Greek Orthodox are right in their view that fasting has a very positive effect on the human being, freeing a person to concentrate on things other than when the next food will come. Dieting has the opposite effect: the entire focus is on counting calories and timing when to eat so as to minimize the ongoing feeling of starvation. Never will I return to that!
6 PM: I took too big of a step and stumbled. The No S Diet which I followed which was stable was every Sunday a day of "unconditional permission to eat" plus two additional Exception Days per month and no Fast Days. To go from that to no Exception Days per month plus one Fast Day for every Sunday was a dramatic change. I need to dial back.
How do I dial back? Well, I can look at this month as giving me two Exception Days. I tracked Exception Days. Now I need to track Temperance Points. August has four Sundays (Feast Days). If I were to award myself additional Temperance Points at the start of August, it should be one for each Sunday and two additional for Exception Days. That would mean six points. I was trying to start with zero points. That's too big of a difference and the reason for my inability to get this to work.
I'm going to say that I now have 1 Temperance Point and then I'm going to add five on August 1 and subtract one for each Feast Day. In September, I can add four. In October, I can add three. This is a way to adjust slowly to changes in diet.
St. John Cassian said something about how moderation is different for each person because each person's body is different. That makes a lot of sense to me. I may eventually be able to fast two per month, but I'm only going to make one change per month. This is very, very slow, but that's OK.
8 PM: I was going to fast tomorrow but decided I need to just focus on the meal timing. I won't try to fast until September.
10:30 PM: I looked up St. John Cassian and gluttony on the Internet and found this: "“I shall speak first about control of the stomach, the opposite to gluttony, and about how to fast and what and how much to eat. I shall say nothing on my own account, but only what I have received from the Holy Fathers. They have not given us only a single rule for fasting or a single standard and measure for eating, because not everyone has the same strength — age, illness or delicacy of body create differences. But they have given us all a single goal: to avoid over-eating and the filling of our bellies. They also found a day’s fast to be more beneficial and a greater help toward purity than one extending over a period of three, four, or even seven days. Someone who fasts for too long, they say, often ends up by eating too much food. The result is that at times the body becomes enervated through undue lack of food and sluggish over its spiritual exercises, while at other times, weighed down by the mass of food it has eaten, it makes the soul listless and slack.â€
To avoid the over-filling of the belly sounds a lot like portion control. I'm not budging from the idea that portion control is bad for me, so I am picking up only on what I think is helpful: the idea that "not everyone has the same strength." I took on too much in my shift to one Fast Day per week. It was more than I could manage long-term. I like the idea of using Temperance Point additions each first of the month and reducing them to adjust gradually to less food and to fasting.
It's a longer journey than I would have liked, but that's where I am today and that's the way it is.
Day 4 – Friday, July 29, 2011: 203.0 I think I've figured out a way to transition to the addition of fasting to this meal timing diet. This has gotten really complicated but it is revised off my old idea of giving myself two Exception Days per month.
3:30 PM: I am not feeling too well and have been tempted to have an ice cream drumstick. I would give this diet a 100% contrast to the Hunger Satisfaction Diet in which I only ate when I felt hungry. Now I eat according to a schedule. Tonight we are going to the Guthrie Theater, and all I have to do is hang on long enough to enjoy that. It is nice to resist the whims of my body. I can plan knowing when I will eat.
Day 5 – Saturday, July 30, 2011: 202.6 There was virtual plating last night at dinner because Tom wanted appetizers. That's OK. I rarely try virtual plating and rarely have pop, but it's nice that I can tweak The No S Diet rules to suit myself. It's probably been a year since I figured out that fasting was an important component of weight control, but what I didn't know was how to adjust to it. What is nice about having Temperance Points is that I can make small adjustments at the start of each month. My steady-state No S Diet approach was to award myself two "days of unconditional permission to eat" at the start of the month that I called Exception Days but not to use any points for Sundays which were also days of "unconditional permission to eat". That was logical, since I always had Sundays as days of "unconditional permission to eat." Going forward, Sundays will continue to be days of "unconditional permission to eat" but I will need to earn them by fasting. As I am sitting here typing away, I am realizing that I have a simpler approach to accomplish the same thing: I can just adjust the number of Temperance Points given at the beginning of the month like I did with Exception Days.
For me, simplicity is key. I can't be spending time counting calories or carbs, but I can count days. The simpler the counting, the easier this diet will be and the more likely I will continue it.
I am right now at 1 Temperance Point. As of Monday, I will award myself one more. That gives me two for the month. I may try a 24 hour fast to increase the number to three.
As of September 1, I will not award myself any Temperance Points.
On October 1, I will remove one Temperance Point. That will force me to fast as a way to make up for it.
On November 1, I will remove two Temperance Points. The change will be gradual for this diet because it means that I will force an additional change each month that affects only one day. Because the changes are cumulative, I will have time to find that "sweet spot" where I can get to a low enough weight without a lot of difficulty. At some point, the pain of the diet will outweigh the benefit of additional weight loss, and then I will return to the goals of one month prior.
I like it.
With The No S Diet and my two Exception Days per month, I stuck to it for a long time and got quite accustomed to it. It would have been fine to follow for life had I not gotten stuck at 195. This new approach, because it is changing slowly each month, does not involve the risk of getting stuck at an unacceptably high weight.
Given that I have already documented to death my adjustment to the two Exception Days per month approach, I'm not sure there is much point in documenting a re-adjustment. I may try to just update my diet once per month. My weight loss is going to be slow, and that's OK. I want it to be permanent. If slow makes for permanent, that's what I'll do.
By far the best part of all for The No S Diet is that I have managed to avoid the out of control eating that I now recognize is a natural effect of portion control dieting. In trying to move to fasting too quickly, I experienced out of control eating a few times, and what those experiences did was reinforce my determination to continue down this path.
I cannot put into words the beauty of looking out Many Point Lake at night and seeing the Milky Way. I've backpacked in Yellowstone and Glacier. I've traveled all over Europe, from Norway fjords to Greek islands. Despite that, what I think is most beautiful of anything I have seen is the night sky at Many Point Scout Camp. I simply cannot believe that a God who created that beauty would create man with a choice between obesity and the feeling of constant starvation. It must be that scientific assumptions have created this obesity epidemic, and I think that those assumptions are the need to control portions and the need to eat frequently.
7 PM: I decided to plunge in with -2 on Feast Days. When I started The No S Diet, I plunged in. Now I can add an average of two Fast Days per week. It should be a difficult start, but I bet I'm all through the difficulty by the beginning of September.
Day 6 – Sunday, July 31, 2011: -4 I decided just to calculate my number of Temperance Points based on a start of 0 as of July 26, which is when I started my diet. I feel good about a "plunge in" approach. There is one adjustment period, and that is it. I don't see how I could do more than this diet.
This morning, at church, there were prayer shawls offered free of charge. Katie wanted one, and I told her she'd have to pray if she took one. She agreed. I thought about it, and I think there is something to this idea. There is, I believe, a Jewish tradition of wearing special clothing for prayer. What does this have to do with dieting? I think that fasting has an effect that is well beyond weight loss, and it scares me. I think fasting is going to change me in a fundamental way. It may be positive, but it is still a fundamental change.
I'm going ahead.
My current Temperance Points are -4. That's OK. I'll just plan to fast three days per week until I am up to the positive range. I will weigh myself in August, but I sure won't weigh myself tomorrow!!! Today was a day of "unconditional permission to eat".
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:36 pm, edited 14 times in total.
August 1, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 21.0 pounds.)
(Month 2) Day 9 - Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 (This month's goal is 180.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 21.4 pounds.)
Weights and Temperance Points: (Starting Number = -4)
Day 7 – Monday, August 1, 2011: FAST (-3)
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 2, 2011: 204.6
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 3, 2011: 203.2 FAST (-2)
Day 10 – Thursday, August 4, 2011: 202.4
Day 11 – Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 FAST (-1)
Day 12 – Saturday, August 6, 2011: 202.6
Day 13 – Sunday, August 7, 2011: 202.2FAST (-2)
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: 203.4FAST (-2)
Journal:
Day 7 – Monday, August 1, 2011: A few weeks ago, Katie had so many sweets that she got sick. It almost seemed like food poisoning, and I would have suspected food poisoning, except that I realized how much she had eaten of food I had bought for Many Point. When that happened, it occurred to me that constant eating is almost like food poisoning. It's hard to describe, coming from the perspective that you will feel ravenous if you go a few hours without food, but it almost seems like my body needs a break from the work of digestion. It actually feels good to fast. I thought that fasting would be short-term deprivation that was tolerable because it would end. Instead, fasting is more like a break.
8 PM: I'm happy that I made it through my first Fast Day. My stomach never even growled. Once I started eating, however, I wanted to continue, so I decided to allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" for the rest of the day after the fast. It's wasn't surprising, but I didn't want to eat much more. I had Italian ice and two slices of cheese.
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 2, 2011: 204.6Katie was rummaging in my closet and found a dress I wore when I was dating Tom. I remember the dress: I had to pin the belt because it was so big. That was back when I had a 24 inch waste. It's sad to look in the mirror now. I have a plan, and I'm going to follow it for the month and see where I end up. A long time ago, I got in a discussion with someone who was thin about weight and she said that she thought the difference between those who are overweight and those who are not is the ability to "tolerate hunger." Well, fasting develops that ability.
7 PM: I got back the results of my blood test from my annual physical. My sister has read that Vitamin D deficiency is associated with obesity, so she suggested I ask for a Vitamin D test. Sure enough: I'm very low. Given that I live in Minnesota and the test was a few days after the longest day of the year, I think I now have a plausible explanation for obesity! Who knows, however? Maybe there is more correlation than causality, since those who don't get enough sun maybe those who don't exercise enough.
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 3, 2011: 203.2 I am looking forward to fasting today, and I think that much of the reason has to do with my being convinced that it is a healthy way to live. I have not delved much into the scientific reasons for fasting, but one book I read said that fasting can affect inflammation which can be a fertile environment for cancer. It may be that fasting is like trimming a shrub: the less essential parts get trimmed away. My interest in exploring this subject more is very limited. I had to read enough to become convinced that fasting is good for you, and that is good enough. I don't have enough information to convince anyone else. The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon has a lot of scientific information in it, but that would not have been enough to convince me. That book, however, has given the most information in any one place.
12:30 PM: My stomach is growling, and it actually feels good!
8:30 PM: Oh, my... another night with a late dinner. I decided that I should revise my diet to allow myself to break my fast after 6 PM.
Day 10 – Thursday, August 4, 2011: 202.4 I woke up this morning not all that interested in eating because I had eaten so much last night during my time of "unconditional permission to eat." I suspect that these evenings after fasts will lessen the overeating on the weekend. The big question is whether I can lose weight following this schedule, and I think I can. The reason why is that it actually felt good to me to have my stomach growl, and it was a hunger growl. How could that be? A hunger growl when dieting was a terrible thing. It meant to me that I was having to resist my desire to eat which would become more and more compelling until I broke. Now I simply have to wait, and there is no sense of panic or concern. I had two and one half cups of ice cream last night. I didn't feel disgusted with myself. Instead, my body told me it was too much food!
11:30 AM: My stomach just growled while I was emailing a recruiter. It doesn't bother me one bit. How could that be? How could the exact same physical feeling now not be a problem?
7 PM: There is a saying in Minnesota: "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute." I am reminded of that saying because I was doing fine today until dinnertime, and then I thought I'd better eat a lot to prepare for the fast. I had an entire bowl of popcorn (my food of choice for when I feel like eating everything in sight), a sloppy joe, baked beans, salad, watermelon, and milk. Even though I ate all this in the last 1/2 hour, I feel hungry right now!
I think I need some self-discipline. One day, as I was driving Katie to swim team, she was crying and saying she didn't want to go because she really, really did not feel like it. I told her that she will be a miserable person if she relies on her feelings because feelings change and you cannot be relied upon if you change your plans due to feelings. I brought up some Disney song about "Follow your heart" and told her that is terrible advice. It's not that feelings don't matter. It's that you cannot change your plans as often as your feelings change. She said it wasn't true, that's not what she was doing... but it was exactly what she was doing. She ended up going to swim team.
Well, it's time for me to look in the mirror. What is my character? Can I even rely on myself? Am I going to change my plan to fast for the next 24 hours because I don't feel like it?
Open question.
I'm only up to 8,000 steps. Pepper is on high alert when I pull out my pedometer. She saw me pull out my pedometer and now she is "pulling a Tommy" -- our description of her way of lying down looking at you intently with ears up, head flat on the floor, and rear legs splayed out behind her. It's time for a walk!
Day 11 – Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 I'm feeling fine this morning and did not eat anymore last night and did take Pepper for a walk. Having "unconditional permission to eat" after a fast seemed like a step backwards when I took it, but now I see that it was a good move. For one thing, I don't have to remember when I last ate last night. We ate late because of swim team and Tom and Tommy getting ready for backpacking. It was 7:20 PM before I finished dinner. Now I don't have to worry about waiting 24 hours to eat (7:20 PM) or until dinner. Now all I have to worry about is waiting until after 6 PM or dinner. For another thing, I will get through a Fast Day easier knowing I can eat whatever I want and as much as I want as soon as it is 6 PM.
Does this sound stupid or what? Why bother with a fast if all you are going to do is eat more than you would have eaten had you just had regular meals with small portion sizes? Yes, this seems logical from a scientific view, but I think it leaves out some understanding of human nature and the human body. Human nature is to desire to eat more than is necessary. The human body, too, or at least this has been my experience, seems to have less of an ability to eat a lot after fasting. We'll see. We'll see. If I keep up this schedule of fasting, I hope to be down to a 10% weight reduction (193.5 pounds, or 215.0 - 21.5) by my birthday on October 23.
9:30 AM: I changed my diet to the Many Point Diet. It is really helping me to not drink coffee knowing that I missed the last campfires at Many Point. I think it will help me to stay on this diet because I have such a great time at Many Point.
10 PM: I did fine all day today. In fact, the only tough part was not being obvious about skipping lunch when we had a friend of Katie's over all day. We got home from swimming at 6:30 PM, and I ate constantly until after dinner -- at about 7:30 PM. I ate so much that I literally felt like I could not take another bite. I actually felt sick and so I went to bed. Much of that, however, was due to Tom being in a foul mood. Honestly, I don't blame him here. He worked all day Saturday and Sunday and then worked hard all week. He leaves tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, and here he is on a conference call at 10 PM. I told him tonight that it's good he is backpacking because he cannot be reached to pull out his computer and cell phone and work.
The only notable thing about the day was that, once again, it felt pleasant when my stomach growled at about 5 PM.
Day 12 – Saturday, August 6, 2011: 202.6 I am reading a book on Internet addiction and its effect on the human being, since Tom seems to think I have an Internet addiction and the children seem to agree. It's called What the Internet is Doing to our Brains: The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. The author describes something called neuroplasticity which is basically how habits become ingrained. On page 35, the author wrote: "It comes as no surprise that neuroplasticity has been linked to mental afflictions ranging from depression to obsessive-compulsive disorder to tinnitus. The more a sufferer concentrates on his symptoms, the deeper those symptoms are etched in his neural circuits. In the worst cases, the mind essentially trains itself to be sick."
Huh. As I read that, I wondered if my focusing my weight problem was actually magnifying it.
At Many Point, I had about a 30 second glimpse of one of the long-term employees of Many Point who is the father or father in law of the camp director. Was he ever energetic! He was old enough to be a grandfather and yet he was thin and walked rapidly and was so cheerful. He stopped by the camp and everyone knew him. I looked at him and was just amazed. Anne told me that there was a counselor get-together and the most common description of him was Scoutastic.
Here I am, typing away about my weight problem, and there was that man, out in the great outdoors running around with lots of energy.
Last night, after I broke my fast, I ate a lot. My weight went up today. I really don't care. I felt a lot better at 5 PM when my stomach growled than I did at 7:30 PM when my stomach felt like led. Following a fasting schedule, I believe, will help me to gravitate towards eating less.
Still, I am focused on weight loss, and I think it is counterproductive. I read a long time ago that the people who tend to be successful at weight loss are those who focus on health rather than weight.
I think that's what I should do. I know how this is going to play out with fasting. I'll be up and down. I'll endure some times of feeling hungry. I'll get used to it.
Do I really need to record all this? Also, is it perhaps counterproductive to record all this?
Isn't it much better to focus on recording exercise? I've done fairly well with trying to average 10,000 steps per day. The last several days were: 9,906
11,013
9,863
10,095
11,601
Since I pulled out my pedometer, the dog got up off the couch and came over towards me...
I am going back and changing the diet one more time, allowing for flexibility to fast again within 24 hours but still keeping the restriction to three times per week. It turns out that my flight to California gets in at 11, so my parents will feed me lunch on Tuesday. I can't fast from Monday dinner to Tuesday dinner, but I can fast from Monday noon to Tuesday noon.
Other than that, other than putting in that flexibility, I think I've got a simple system for teaching me the amount to eat that feels the best to me.
I've got a plan. It's time to stop thinking about the plan. It's time to work the plan. I can record my weight once per month and track my Temperance Points. That's all I need to do.
Once per month recording weight.
Every day focusing on health.
This morning, I dropped off Tom and Tommy to go to Philmont. We had discussed this trip as a way for us to turn our family towards being more active, since Anne is obese and Katie is overweight. Tom lost 12 pounds and looks like he has been exercising. By the time he comes back from 12 days of backpacking with the Scouts in the high country in New Mexico, he should look very fit.
This morning, Tom and Tommy left for Philmont. Tom looks good. He's lost 12 pounds, and he has been exercising to prepare for the rigor of backpacking in the high country. When we discussed his going with Tommy, I said I think it could be a turning point for us in that maybe we could turn to being a more active family.
I went and had a cup of frappachino coffee at Starbucks after I left them off to go to Philmont. Now I am experiencing the familiar caffeine rush from coffee. I decided to have one last cup of coffee to say good bye to an unhealthy lifestyle.
It occurred to me that writing so much about dieting is also unhealthy.
I still need to track Temperance Points, and it would be a good idea to track my weight, but once a month is plenty. I've thought enough about dieting. I've got a plan. It's time to work the plan.
Day 13 – Sunday, August 7, 2011: 202.2 OMG! I feel great today! Is it the strenthening exercises or the walking or giving up caffeine? I don't know, but I feel energetic!
6:30 PM: This is the complete text of an article in today's Minneapolis Star Tribune called "Chew on this: Hunger trigger is in your head":
When the clock strikes noon and microwaves commence nuking lunches across the nation, it's because our grumbling stomachs insist we eat. And while researchers know which signals control how hungry we feel -- specific proteins in our brains -- they're still searching for what sets those signals off. Now, Rajat Singh and colleagues at Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University in New York may be a step closer with a study published online this week in the journal Cell Metabolism.
When Singh and his co-authors studied mice, they discovered the brain cells responsible for controlling hunger, called AgRP neurons, started to consume small parts of themselves when the body had gone without food for several hours. That process, called autophagy, set off a chain reaction that boosted hunger proteins in the brain.
"The biology in mice very closely mimics human biology," said Singh. Studying how mouse brains work is one way researchers gain insight into how our brains function. If scientists can learn to control this behavior in these cells, they can develop treatments to help with obesity and overfeeding, said Singh.
In this case, "understanding the regulation of AgRP neurons is critical because these neurons are sufficient to orchestrate voracious eating," said Scott Sternson, a scientist at Howard Hughes Medical Institute who studies how our brains are wired, who wasn't involved in the study. But at the moment, there's no known way to disrupt autophagy, said Fredric Kraemer, professor of medicine at Stanford University who also wasn't involved in the study.
There is a huge network of brain cells that must communicate to regulate hunger in humans, Singh said. These cells must coordinate signals from all over the body about nutrient and energy levels and then relay instructions to other areas such as our muscles to start or stop eating. The part of the brain that controls all this is a tiny region just above the brain stem called the hypothalamus. But researchers didn't have a good understanding of what regulated these neurons, said Sternson. "We all have a basal level of autophagy happening all the time," said Singh. Normally, this low level of self-consumption is how cells clear out damaged parts or get rid of things they no longer need, said Singh. "At baseline, it's a garbage system, a housekeeping function." But when we've gone without food for several hours, our body starts to break down fat reserves, called triglycerides, into fatty acids, Kraemer said.
When the hypothalamus registers an increase in circulating fatty acids, the cells that control hunger rev up their autophagy process, said Singh.
This process breaks down the neuron's fat reserves, releasing fatty acids to float freely around the cell. This triggers production of the proteins that tell us we're hungry, said Singh."
I just finished a day of not eating until 6 PM, and my stomach didn't even growl. Why? Yes, I agree that the hunger trigger is in my head, but I think that hunger comes from anticipation of eating.
As for weighing myself and writing, I have gone back and forth on whether to write and whether to weigh myself. For now, I think I'll just let myself do what I want. The key focus needs to be on whether or not I actually follow the diet.
9:30 PM: I keep on thinking of that program manager from Many Point whom I observed for perhaps 30 seconds. He was so vigorous and so cheerful that seeing him really inspired me. Can I, at my age (52) and having spent almost a decade above 200 pounds, actually return to being that vigorous? I guess seeing that guy gave me hope.
Tonight, I ate a lot. Tomorrow I will have breakfast and then fast again. On Tuesday morning, Katie, Ellie, and I will fly to California to be with my parents. I'd like to get in a second fast before I leave, and we will be having lunch in California. Since California is two hours ahead of us in time, the only way for me to fast 24 hours is to stop eating after breakfast.
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: Once again, I changed my diet. After dinner last night, I ate like a pig. Why? I think there may be some fear of fasting. At any rate, now I feel downright disgusted because once again my stomach feels like lead. I'm not weighing myself. Instead, I changed my diet so that I have "unconditional permission to eat" on Feast Days and Free Days only. I can do this. I certainly don't want to repeat how I ate at Many Point, which was lots of fasts with pgging out in between. Live and learn... I'll have breakfast this morning and then fast until I get to California tomorrow. My parents aren't going to see this pigout behavior, so it's a good time to make a break from it.
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: 203.4 Last night I got very upset with Katie when it turned out the quart of chocolate ice cream I had bought was gone. It shocked me. Then I proceeded to eat a ton of food. Today my weight is up over a pound. I am now thinking, yet again, about changing the diet, this time to eliminate Feast Days as "days of unconditional permission to eat." I am not sure I can handle it, but I'm going to try.
8:30 AM: I'm going to California tomorrow. I think I'll just try to focus on no snacks and no sweets with no fasting or "unconditional permission to eat."
11 AM: Now I am stuffed, having had a last Haagen Dazs bar and two plums. I decided it was a terrible idea to give up fasting. Why would I do that when I have had so little difficulty with hunger as a result of fasting? Also, I have noticed that my sense of smell is improving, and it is wonderful. Is this caused by fasting? I'm not sure. So -- what to do, since I've actually gained weight in the two weeks since I started the diet?
Well, it's obvious, but it's painful: I should not be allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" after I break my fast. That's the problem.
3 PM: I feel terrible, a sharp contrast to how I felt yesterday morning. Yesterday I was fasting. I need to cut back on times of "unconditional permission to eat." I think I can handle no snacks or sweets except on Exception Days.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, July 26, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 181.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 21.0 pounds.)
(Month 2) Day 9 - Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 (This month's goal is 180.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 21.4 pounds.)
Weights and Temperance Points: (Starting Number = -4)
Day 7 – Monday, August 1, 2011: FAST (-3)
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 2, 2011: 204.6
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 3, 2011: 203.2 FAST (-2)
Day 10 – Thursday, August 4, 2011: 202.4
Day 11 – Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 FAST (-1)
Day 12 – Saturday, August 6, 2011: 202.6
Day 13 – Sunday, August 7, 2011: 202.2FAST (-2)
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: 203.4FAST (-2)
Journal:
Day 7 – Monday, August 1, 2011: A few weeks ago, Katie had so many sweets that she got sick. It almost seemed like food poisoning, and I would have suspected food poisoning, except that I realized how much she had eaten of food I had bought for Many Point. When that happened, it occurred to me that constant eating is almost like food poisoning. It's hard to describe, coming from the perspective that you will feel ravenous if you go a few hours without food, but it almost seems like my body needs a break from the work of digestion. It actually feels good to fast. I thought that fasting would be short-term deprivation that was tolerable because it would end. Instead, fasting is more like a break.
8 PM: I'm happy that I made it through my first Fast Day. My stomach never even growled. Once I started eating, however, I wanted to continue, so I decided to allow myself "unconditional permission to eat" for the rest of the day after the fast. It's wasn't surprising, but I didn't want to eat much more. I had Italian ice and two slices of cheese.
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 2, 2011: 204.6Katie was rummaging in my closet and found a dress I wore when I was dating Tom. I remember the dress: I had to pin the belt because it was so big. That was back when I had a 24 inch waste. It's sad to look in the mirror now. I have a plan, and I'm going to follow it for the month and see where I end up. A long time ago, I got in a discussion with someone who was thin about weight and she said that she thought the difference between those who are overweight and those who are not is the ability to "tolerate hunger." Well, fasting develops that ability.
7 PM: I got back the results of my blood test from my annual physical. My sister has read that Vitamin D deficiency is associated with obesity, so she suggested I ask for a Vitamin D test. Sure enough: I'm very low. Given that I live in Minnesota and the test was a few days after the longest day of the year, I think I now have a plausible explanation for obesity! Who knows, however? Maybe there is more correlation than causality, since those who don't get enough sun maybe those who don't exercise enough.
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 3, 2011: 203.2 I am looking forward to fasting today, and I think that much of the reason has to do with my being convinced that it is a healthy way to live. I have not delved much into the scientific reasons for fasting, but one book I read said that fasting can affect inflammation which can be a fertile environment for cancer. It may be that fasting is like trimming a shrub: the less essential parts get trimmed away. My interest in exploring this subject more is very limited. I had to read enough to become convinced that fasting is good for you, and that is good enough. I don't have enough information to convince anyone else. The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon has a lot of scientific information in it, but that would not have been enough to convince me. That book, however, has given the most information in any one place.
12:30 PM: My stomach is growling, and it actually feels good!
8:30 PM: Oh, my... another night with a late dinner. I decided that I should revise my diet to allow myself to break my fast after 6 PM.
Day 10 – Thursday, August 4, 2011: 202.4 I woke up this morning not all that interested in eating because I had eaten so much last night during my time of "unconditional permission to eat." I suspect that these evenings after fasts will lessen the overeating on the weekend. The big question is whether I can lose weight following this schedule, and I think I can. The reason why is that it actually felt good to me to have my stomach growl, and it was a hunger growl. How could that be? A hunger growl when dieting was a terrible thing. It meant to me that I was having to resist my desire to eat which would become more and more compelling until I broke. Now I simply have to wait, and there is no sense of panic or concern. I had two and one half cups of ice cream last night. I didn't feel disgusted with myself. Instead, my body told me it was too much food!
11:30 AM: My stomach just growled while I was emailing a recruiter. It doesn't bother me one bit. How could that be? How could the exact same physical feeling now not be a problem?
7 PM: There is a saying in Minnesota: "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute." I am reminded of that saying because I was doing fine today until dinnertime, and then I thought I'd better eat a lot to prepare for the fast. I had an entire bowl of popcorn (my food of choice for when I feel like eating everything in sight), a sloppy joe, baked beans, salad, watermelon, and milk. Even though I ate all this in the last 1/2 hour, I feel hungry right now!
I think I need some self-discipline. One day, as I was driving Katie to swim team, she was crying and saying she didn't want to go because she really, really did not feel like it. I told her that she will be a miserable person if she relies on her feelings because feelings change and you cannot be relied upon if you change your plans due to feelings. I brought up some Disney song about "Follow your heart" and told her that is terrible advice. It's not that feelings don't matter. It's that you cannot change your plans as often as your feelings change. She said it wasn't true, that's not what she was doing... but it was exactly what she was doing. She ended up going to swim team.
Well, it's time for me to look in the mirror. What is my character? Can I even rely on myself? Am I going to change my plan to fast for the next 24 hours because I don't feel like it?
Open question.
I'm only up to 8,000 steps. Pepper is on high alert when I pull out my pedometer. She saw me pull out my pedometer and now she is "pulling a Tommy" -- our description of her way of lying down looking at you intently with ears up, head flat on the floor, and rear legs splayed out behind her. It's time for a walk!
Day 11 – Friday, August 5, 2011: 201.4 I'm feeling fine this morning and did not eat anymore last night and did take Pepper for a walk. Having "unconditional permission to eat" after a fast seemed like a step backwards when I took it, but now I see that it was a good move. For one thing, I don't have to remember when I last ate last night. We ate late because of swim team and Tom and Tommy getting ready for backpacking. It was 7:20 PM before I finished dinner. Now I don't have to worry about waiting 24 hours to eat (7:20 PM) or until dinner. Now all I have to worry about is waiting until after 6 PM or dinner. For another thing, I will get through a Fast Day easier knowing I can eat whatever I want and as much as I want as soon as it is 6 PM.
Does this sound stupid or what? Why bother with a fast if all you are going to do is eat more than you would have eaten had you just had regular meals with small portion sizes? Yes, this seems logical from a scientific view, but I think it leaves out some understanding of human nature and the human body. Human nature is to desire to eat more than is necessary. The human body, too, or at least this has been my experience, seems to have less of an ability to eat a lot after fasting. We'll see. We'll see. If I keep up this schedule of fasting, I hope to be down to a 10% weight reduction (193.5 pounds, or 215.0 - 21.5) by my birthday on October 23.
9:30 AM: I changed my diet to the Many Point Diet. It is really helping me to not drink coffee knowing that I missed the last campfires at Many Point. I think it will help me to stay on this diet because I have such a great time at Many Point.
10 PM: I did fine all day today. In fact, the only tough part was not being obvious about skipping lunch when we had a friend of Katie's over all day. We got home from swimming at 6:30 PM, and I ate constantly until after dinner -- at about 7:30 PM. I ate so much that I literally felt like I could not take another bite. I actually felt sick and so I went to bed. Much of that, however, was due to Tom being in a foul mood. Honestly, I don't blame him here. He worked all day Saturday and Sunday and then worked hard all week. He leaves tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, and here he is on a conference call at 10 PM. I told him tonight that it's good he is backpacking because he cannot be reached to pull out his computer and cell phone and work.
The only notable thing about the day was that, once again, it felt pleasant when my stomach growled at about 5 PM.
Day 12 – Saturday, August 6, 2011: 202.6 I am reading a book on Internet addiction and its effect on the human being, since Tom seems to think I have an Internet addiction and the children seem to agree. It's called What the Internet is Doing to our Brains: The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. The author describes something called neuroplasticity which is basically how habits become ingrained. On page 35, the author wrote: "It comes as no surprise that neuroplasticity has been linked to mental afflictions ranging from depression to obsessive-compulsive disorder to tinnitus. The more a sufferer concentrates on his symptoms, the deeper those symptoms are etched in his neural circuits. In the worst cases, the mind essentially trains itself to be sick."
Huh. As I read that, I wondered if my focusing my weight problem was actually magnifying it.
At Many Point, I had about a 30 second glimpse of one of the long-term employees of Many Point who is the father or father in law of the camp director. Was he ever energetic! He was old enough to be a grandfather and yet he was thin and walked rapidly and was so cheerful. He stopped by the camp and everyone knew him. I looked at him and was just amazed. Anne told me that there was a counselor get-together and the most common description of him was Scoutastic.
Here I am, typing away about my weight problem, and there was that man, out in the great outdoors running around with lots of energy.
Last night, after I broke my fast, I ate a lot. My weight went up today. I really don't care. I felt a lot better at 5 PM when my stomach growled than I did at 7:30 PM when my stomach felt like led. Following a fasting schedule, I believe, will help me to gravitate towards eating less.
Still, I am focused on weight loss, and I think it is counterproductive. I read a long time ago that the people who tend to be successful at weight loss are those who focus on health rather than weight.
I think that's what I should do. I know how this is going to play out with fasting. I'll be up and down. I'll endure some times of feeling hungry. I'll get used to it.
Do I really need to record all this? Also, is it perhaps counterproductive to record all this?
Isn't it much better to focus on recording exercise? I've done fairly well with trying to average 10,000 steps per day. The last several days were: 9,906
11,013
9,863
10,095
11,601
Since I pulled out my pedometer, the dog got up off the couch and came over towards me...
I am going back and changing the diet one more time, allowing for flexibility to fast again within 24 hours but still keeping the restriction to three times per week. It turns out that my flight to California gets in at 11, so my parents will feed me lunch on Tuesday. I can't fast from Monday dinner to Tuesday dinner, but I can fast from Monday noon to Tuesday noon.
Other than that, other than putting in that flexibility, I think I've got a simple system for teaching me the amount to eat that feels the best to me.
I've got a plan. It's time to stop thinking about the plan. It's time to work the plan. I can record my weight once per month and track my Temperance Points. That's all I need to do.
Once per month recording weight.
Every day focusing on health.
This morning, I dropped off Tom and Tommy to go to Philmont. We had discussed this trip as a way for us to turn our family towards being more active, since Anne is obese and Katie is overweight. Tom lost 12 pounds and looks like he has been exercising. By the time he comes back from 12 days of backpacking with the Scouts in the high country in New Mexico, he should look very fit.
This morning, Tom and Tommy left for Philmont. Tom looks good. He's lost 12 pounds, and he has been exercising to prepare for the rigor of backpacking in the high country. When we discussed his going with Tommy, I said I think it could be a turning point for us in that maybe we could turn to being a more active family.
I went and had a cup of frappachino coffee at Starbucks after I left them off to go to Philmont. Now I am experiencing the familiar caffeine rush from coffee. I decided to have one last cup of coffee to say good bye to an unhealthy lifestyle.
It occurred to me that writing so much about dieting is also unhealthy.
I still need to track Temperance Points, and it would be a good idea to track my weight, but once a month is plenty. I've thought enough about dieting. I've got a plan. It's time to work the plan.
Day 13 – Sunday, August 7, 2011: 202.2 OMG! I feel great today! Is it the strenthening exercises or the walking or giving up caffeine? I don't know, but I feel energetic!
6:30 PM: This is the complete text of an article in today's Minneapolis Star Tribune called "Chew on this: Hunger trigger is in your head":
When the clock strikes noon and microwaves commence nuking lunches across the nation, it's because our grumbling stomachs insist we eat. And while researchers know which signals control how hungry we feel -- specific proteins in our brains -- they're still searching for what sets those signals off. Now, Rajat Singh and colleagues at Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University in New York may be a step closer with a study published online this week in the journal Cell Metabolism.
When Singh and his co-authors studied mice, they discovered the brain cells responsible for controlling hunger, called AgRP neurons, started to consume small parts of themselves when the body had gone without food for several hours. That process, called autophagy, set off a chain reaction that boosted hunger proteins in the brain.
"The biology in mice very closely mimics human biology," said Singh. Studying how mouse brains work is one way researchers gain insight into how our brains function. If scientists can learn to control this behavior in these cells, they can develop treatments to help with obesity and overfeeding, said Singh.
In this case, "understanding the regulation of AgRP neurons is critical because these neurons are sufficient to orchestrate voracious eating," said Scott Sternson, a scientist at Howard Hughes Medical Institute who studies how our brains are wired, who wasn't involved in the study. But at the moment, there's no known way to disrupt autophagy, said Fredric Kraemer, professor of medicine at Stanford University who also wasn't involved in the study.
There is a huge network of brain cells that must communicate to regulate hunger in humans, Singh said. These cells must coordinate signals from all over the body about nutrient and energy levels and then relay instructions to other areas such as our muscles to start or stop eating. The part of the brain that controls all this is a tiny region just above the brain stem called the hypothalamus. But researchers didn't have a good understanding of what regulated these neurons, said Sternson. "We all have a basal level of autophagy happening all the time," said Singh. Normally, this low level of self-consumption is how cells clear out damaged parts or get rid of things they no longer need, said Singh. "At baseline, it's a garbage system, a housekeeping function." But when we've gone without food for several hours, our body starts to break down fat reserves, called triglycerides, into fatty acids, Kraemer said.
When the hypothalamus registers an increase in circulating fatty acids, the cells that control hunger rev up their autophagy process, said Singh.
This process breaks down the neuron's fat reserves, releasing fatty acids to float freely around the cell. This triggers production of the proteins that tell us we're hungry, said Singh."
I just finished a day of not eating until 6 PM, and my stomach didn't even growl. Why? Yes, I agree that the hunger trigger is in my head, but I think that hunger comes from anticipation of eating.
As for weighing myself and writing, I have gone back and forth on whether to write and whether to weigh myself. For now, I think I'll just let myself do what I want. The key focus needs to be on whether or not I actually follow the diet.
9:30 PM: I keep on thinking of that program manager from Many Point whom I observed for perhaps 30 seconds. He was so vigorous and so cheerful that seeing him really inspired me. Can I, at my age (52) and having spent almost a decade above 200 pounds, actually return to being that vigorous? I guess seeing that guy gave me hope.
Tonight, I ate a lot. Tomorrow I will have breakfast and then fast again. On Tuesday morning, Katie, Ellie, and I will fly to California to be with my parents. I'd like to get in a second fast before I leave, and we will be having lunch in California. Since California is two hours ahead of us in time, the only way for me to fast 24 hours is to stop eating after breakfast.
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: Once again, I changed my diet. After dinner last night, I ate like a pig. Why? I think there may be some fear of fasting. At any rate, now I feel downright disgusted because once again my stomach feels like lead. I'm not weighing myself. Instead, I changed my diet so that I have "unconditional permission to eat" on Feast Days and Free Days only. I can do this. I certainly don't want to repeat how I ate at Many Point, which was lots of fasts with pgging out in between. Live and learn... I'll have breakfast this morning and then fast until I get to California tomorrow. My parents aren't going to see this pigout behavior, so it's a good time to make a break from it.
Day 14 – Monday, August 8, 2011: 203.4 Last night I got very upset with Katie when it turned out the quart of chocolate ice cream I had bought was gone. It shocked me. Then I proceeded to eat a ton of food. Today my weight is up over a pound. I am now thinking, yet again, about changing the diet, this time to eliminate Feast Days as "days of unconditional permission to eat." I am not sure I can handle it, but I'm going to try.
8:30 AM: I'm going to California tomorrow. I think I'll just try to focus on no snacks and no sweets with no fasting or "unconditional permission to eat."
11 AM: Now I am stuffed, having had a last Haagen Dazs bar and two plums. I decided it was a terrible idea to give up fasting. Why would I do that when I have had so little difficulty with hunger as a result of fasting? Also, I have noticed that my sense of smell is improving, and it is wonderful. Is this caused by fasting? I'm not sure. So -- what to do, since I've actually gained weight in the two weeks since I started the diet?
Well, it's obvious, but it's painful: I should not be allowing myself "unconditional permission to eat" after I break my fast. That's the problem.
3 PM: I feel terrible, a sharp contrast to how I felt yesterday morning. Yesterday I was fasting. I need to cut back on times of "unconditional permission to eat." I think I can handle no snacks or sweets except on Exception Days.
Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
August 9, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, August 9, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 180.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 22.0 pounds.)
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing with no "portion control". It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. I learned from reading the book Why We Get Fat that low-carb diets and fasting (which eliminates all food, including carbs) have something in common: there is surprisingly little feeling of hunger. The big benefit of fasting is that a fast ends, whereas you are constantly restricted in your eating with the low-carb approach.
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking Temperance Points. I assign points to each day. There are four types of days:
1. Feast Days: These are all Sundays and only Sundays. On these days, I have "unconditional permission to eat", a term taken from the book Intuitive Eating.
1. Normal Days: On these days, I have three meals but no snacks or sweets. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no "portion control"). I also can have caloric liquids (including pop, which I don't define as a sweet and including Italian ice, which I don't define as a solid) any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
2. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for any 24-hour period or from one dinner until 6 PM the next night or from one dinner until dinner the next night. For the rest of the day after my fast ends, I follow the rules of a Normal Day. I can fast no more than three times per week, and I cannot have a current number of Temperance Points that is greater than 10. My standard Fast Days are Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and Thursday dinner to Friday dinner. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially those done by virtually every Christian during the medieval period.
3. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day. This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The Exception Day is from one midnight to the next.
My overarching goal for dieting is to keep the number of Temperance Points above 0. The points assigned to each day are as follows:
Feast Day: -2
Normal Day: 0
Fast Day: 1
Exception Day: -1
The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon is a detailed description of why fasting is good for you. I was impressed by how the book countered the conventional wisdom that it is important to eat every few hours. I am more impressed, however, by the medieval Christian tradition that had everyone in society fasting two days per week.
We don't live in a society like that. I track Temperance Points as a way to give myself the flexibility to eat in this society while still being able to eat when it is socially appropriate to do so. There is no physical need for three to six eating occasions per day, at least as I have experienced with fasting. There is, however, a need to be able to eat for social reasons. Somewhere in a dieting book, I read the term "perfect compliance." In a society in which food is constantly present, it is hard to follow a diet with "perfect compliance." I decided that following a diet with "perfect compliance" because that is how habits are formed that are followed without thinking. For example, I don't debate whether or not to brush my teeth in the morning. Allowing Italian ice on a Normal Day without calling it either a sweet or a snack is my way of reminding myself of the importance of "perfect compliance" because I added it as an allowable food after I stretched my diet to allow myself to have it as a dessert when I was visiting my parents, and -- upon returning home -- proceeded to binge on Italian ice. There are plenty of "slippery slope" foods, and I need to be careful about going down a "slippery slope" into a binge.
For my diet, there is also no "portion control". In fact, I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic. Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet?
In contrast to the modern “portion control†approach to weight management, those who lived in the medieval period viewed gluttons as those who ate outside the proscribed times, not those who ate too much. (This is from the book Fast and Feast.) I return to that definition of gluttony as my way to cultivate the virtue of temperance. There is something very religious about fasting. Fasting is about self-control and self-discipline. I have to fight my tendency to eat whatever and whenever I want, and fasting is the traditional religious way to fight gluttony.
And why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point" has "point" in it, which is useful because I track points for the diet. "Many Point", however, refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp two weeks before I started this diet. There is a Family Camp there for siblings of Scouts, and my beloved Anne is a camp counselor there this year.
I miss Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her third grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. When I am tempted to consider a "portion control" approach to dieting, I can think of the beauty I witnessed that night, and I can stay patient with this diet.
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Yes, it can be difficult to adjust to fasting, but it is very freeing to fast intermittently. As a comparison, I gave up coffee when I was at Many Point. Before then, I would get a caffeine withdrawal headache if I didn't have a certain amount of coffee right away in the morning. Now, I don't coffee at all. It is very freeing.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh. It may be that I have been searching for the perfect diet. That has been a fool's errand. Instead, I need a "good enough" diet that I follow with "perfect compliance." This may be that diet.
Day 1 – Tuesday, August 9, 2011: 202.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, August 10, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, August 11, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, August 12, 2011:
Day 5 – Saturday, August 13, 2011:
Day 6 – Sunday, August 14, 2011:
Day 7 – Monday, August 15, 2011:
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 16, 2011:
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 17, 2011: 199.8
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011:
Day 11 – Friday, August 19, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, August 20, 2011: 202.2
Day 13 – Sunday, August 21, 2011: 202.4
Ending Temperance Points = 3
Past Week's Steps > 58,000
Strengthening Exercises = 7/8 (7 out of 8 exercises once)
Day 14 – Monday, August 22, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, August 23, 2011: 203.4
Day 16 – Wednesday, August 24, 2011: 202.2
Day 17 – Thursday, August 25, 2011: 202.4
Day 18 – Friday, August 26, 2011: 200.6
Day 19 – Saturday, August 27, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, August 28, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, August 29, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, August 30, 2011: 203.8
Day 23 – Wednesday, August 31, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, August 10, 2011: On the plane yesterday, I decided just not to diet for the whole vacation, so I gave up the 24 hour fast by having 2 airplane bags of pretzels. Then, at my parents' house, I munched on a snack of crackers and dip, had a cookie, and had angel food cake. Now, the next morning at 6, I lie awake feeling nauseated by all I ate yesterday. The diet I have described is a good one for long-term weight management, I think. The problem is that I am bingeing after a fast. What to do? I think I may need time to adjust to this approach, and so I am going to award myself bonus points each month, gradually decreasing them to zero. This month, I look ahead to three Sundays. I award myself 6 bonus points to cover the -2 points for each Sunday plus I add 2 points so that I have the equivalent of the diet I used to follow the 2 Exception Days per month. This puts me at 8 points today.
Day 4 – Friday, August 12, 2011: I looked forward in the calendar to see how many bonus points I should award myself each month until I am full adjusted to this diet. They are:
September: (4 Sundays X 2) + 1 = 9
October: (5 Sundays X 2) + 0 = 10
November: (4 Sundays X 2) - 1 = 7
December: (4 Sundays X 2) - 2 = 6
January: (5 Sundays X 2) - 3 = 7
February: (4 Sundays X 2) - 4 = 4
March: (4 Sundays X 2) - 5 = 3
April: (5 Sundays X 2) - 6 = 4
May: (4 Sundays X 2) - 7 = 1
June: (4 Sundays X 2) - 8 = 0
July: (5 Sundays X 2) - 9 = 1
This is an elaborate way for me to reach my goal of the diet described above, but I already feel better about a go-slow approach. Meal timing alone won't result in weight loss below 195. Fasting alone had an unfortunate consequence of out of control bingeing. The adjustment period of one year allows me to return to meal timing alone and then gradually add fasting.
Weight management has been the single most challenging problem in my life, and I have had many challenges as everyone does. The diet gives me hope to solve my problem, and the adjustment approach gives me hope that I will succeed in following the diet.
While I do think exercise is important, I just don't think it is a way to lose weight. Yesterday, at Disneyland, I wore my pedometer and logged 35,000 steps. It did feel good. I do want to walk more as a way to improve health, but I think the only people who might actually control weight through exercise are those who log lots of miles, like my sister in law who runs 25 miles per week. I'm just not interested in doing that -- too much effort. This diet doesn't require a lot of effort. The question that is outstanding is this: Will I be satisfied with my weight if I follow this diet?
Day 5 – Saturday, August 13, 2011: Tonight we went to an all you can eat restaurant called Souplation which had incredibly good food. I loaded up my plate with a big salad and soup. When it came time to get seconds, I just could not bring myself to get another plate. I sat there watching my family eat all this wonderful food, knowing I was not stuffed. I realized that the cue for me to stop eating was an empty plate. That is exactly the opposite of the recommended approach for intuitive eating, which is to rely on internal hunger signals. Back in the days when food was not so plentiful, I bet people ate until the plate was empty so as not to waste food.
Day 6 – Sunday, August 14, 2011:
Temperance Points = 6 (as of end of day)
Steps last week > 60,000
Strengthening exercises: None
Day 7 – Monday, August 15, 2011: There was a lot to enjoy yesterday, and I did: muffins and root beer floats and cake. I ate what I wanted and, to put it delicately, my digestive system couldn't handle the food. I think that the contrast between food on a Normal Day and food on a Feast Day is what causes the stomach problems. If I could fast today, I would, but it would be inappropriate. Having a system with Temperance Points allows me to be flexible enough so that no one even needs to know I am on a diet.
6:40 AM: Last night, my mother and I had a long talk about Anne and her choices for colleges. She did so well on her standardized tests that she has a lot of options. I feel bad, however, because her weight problem is going to so affect her unless she gets it under control. My hope is that I show her a path out of obesity. Right now, I appear to have failed, but I think I have the program in place that will work. Time will tell.
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 16, 2011: There's a certain calmness that I feel when thinking about my approach to weight loss. Sitting on the plane next to my two younger children, as they munch on snacks, I let them share my snack as well because I am fasting for 24 hours, starting at 7 AM CST when I left my parents' house. I am thinking about Aristotle's Ethics and how being virtuous requires both knowing what is virtuous and doing what is virtuous.
Could it be, I wonder, that the obesity epidemic has been caused by a scientific consensus that the way to be thin is to practice "portion control"? I have what I believe is the first book to promote calorie counting as a way to lose weight: the book Eat Well, Stay Well by Dr. Ancel Keys, which was published in 1958.
As I write, my stomach is growling. It is a pleasant feeling. I am not in a panic about hunger. I actually look forward to the experience of fasting because it seems so restful.
Going forward, I'm not sure I have much more to write. I'll track my steps and my strengthening exercises each week but without the need for "perfect compliance" that I expect from my diet.
On Monday, I pick up Anne from camp. If this diet works, she may read what I write or ask me how I lost weight. My goal has been to light a way for her.
Years ago, I gave my mother a paperweight with the message, "A mother's love is from above." I saw the paperweight on her dresser when I visited this past week. Thinking of my daughter now, with tears in my eyes, I hope that I am pointing the way to good health by appreciating and living the Biblical wisdom of "Govern your appetite."
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011: I sailed right through yesterday feeling great about getting below 200, and then I made an error in deciding to stretch the diet to allow Italian ice as a liquid. The result was a binge after dinner, interrupted by Ellie being dropped off after being with a friend (embarrassing!) I went in the freezer this morning to figure out what I had eaten: three Italian ice, six ice cream bars, and two entire bowls of popcorn. Why? I think it was the reaction to fasting. The next time I fast will be on a Saturday so that I have Sunday as a recovery day, since Sunday is always a day of "unconditional permission to eat". We will be at my brother in law's cabin next weekend, so I'll have to wait until the next weekend which is when we'll be camping right near the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota.
Day 11 – Friday, August 19, 2011: Another binge after dinner last night. I was thinking about fasting again. Hmmm... This sounds familiar. This is what happened whenever I thought about going on a "portion control" diet. I started the week with 6 Temperance Points, added 1 with a successful Fast, and lost 2 with Exception Days. If I continue to the rest of the month with no Exception Days or Fasts, I will lose 4 more Temperance Points for the two remaining Sundays of the month and end up with and ending balance of 1 Temperance Point. That's good enough for me. I think I'll change the allocation of points at the start of next month so that I have two points for each Sunday plus two additional points (instead of what I had planned which was one). Apparently, go slow wasn't good enough. I need to go slower. Meal timing is the essential foundation of my diet, and I need to keep it. I may be 200 pounds, but I haven't gained weight since I started this meal timing approach. Things could be a whole lot worse. I'm also going to make sure I get in my 60,000 steps per week and I need to do those simple strengthening exercises.
7:30 AM: I think I will plan my next fast for the evening of August 31 to the evening of September 1. I will try to have only one fast in the month of September. Bingeing is such a terrible experience. I just don't want to return to that habit no matter how much I weigh.
Day 12 – Saturday, August 20, 2011: 202.2 Could any weight be more depressing than .2 pound higher than your starting weight? I realized this morning, as I lay in bed, that I have been trying to find the perfect diet and have been tweaking forever. What I need is a "good enough" diet that I can follow. This may be that diet. I just need to add in Fast Days gradually over time. Because I am nervous about being able to fast now that I have had some experiences with binge behavior that bring me back to the days when a calorie counting approach started to collapse, I decided to fast today just to prove to myself that I could do it. It helps to know that tomorrow is a Feast Day.
Meanwhile, I have had a lot of contact from recruiters, and it even had a negative impact on my California vacation. Advice I had gotten from other consultants was to pick two or three recruiters and just have them represent you. I now appreciate the wisdom of that approach. Dealing with a lot of recruiters can result in chasing leads that aren't very good, and you can also harm your relationship with the good recruiters. I now have four different firms who have submitted me into one client that acts as an internal consulting firm to a large company. Of those, the one that my sister in law had recommended is the one that has disappointed me. The other three could be my representatives going forward.
My experience with yet another firm is a good example of why working with many firms is not a good idea. This firm was also recommended to me. On Monday, I got an email from the recruiter asking for a telephone interview later this week. I sent him some times on Thursday and Friday. When I didn't hear from him, I called and left a voice message. What I got back was an automated call letting me know that he had gotten my call. Come on... That's pathetic. If he isn't interested enough in me to follow up by picking up the phone himself or replying by email, how will he treat me when he is representing me to a client? How will he treat the client?
These three firms that I have decided would be good to represent me may not be the best in the entire market, but I sure have enjoyed working with them. I think it does may sense just to stick with them.
With dieting, I need to give up my search for the perfect diet, just like it is counterproductive for me to continue searching for the perfect recruiter. This diet has really good potential. It will take until next summer before it is fully implemented, but I am going to stick with it to see what happens -- although I am adding in that Italian ice is allowed on Normal Days as a reminder to me that stretching the diet is not a good idea -- ever! That's why I have Exception Days!
8 AM: I have to walk about 15,000 steps today to make my weekly goal, and I just took Pepper for a walk. While walking, I realized that I was spending too much time deciding when to fast. I think I need to set up default days to fast and just leave it at that. I like the idea of fasting Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until I reach a current Temperance Point level of 10 -- unless there is some reason not to fast. I am not going to do this right away. My goal is to end this month at 1 Temperance Point. I started the month at 0 Temperance Points.
Day 13 – Sunday, August 21, 2011: 202.4 I started out weighing 202.4 and ate a lot today. Instead of being upset, I kept on thinking something during church: "My faith has saved me." Then I was thinking of the times during my life when I felt the worst and relied on God to get me through. Do I feel desperate now? No. I feel calm. The reality is that meal timing without portion control does not result in weight loss. I already know this. What I don't know is if fasting added to meal timing, still without portion control, will result in weight loss. I have a structured plan for adding fasting. This month, I used two Exception Days and had one Fast Day. Next month, I will have two Exception Days and two Fast Days. The default fasting times will be September 4 (the first Monday) and September 6 (the first Wednesday). After that there will be no more Fast Days until October, when I'll plan to have three Fast Days. This is a very gradual adjustment. Because I am ramping up so slowly on Fast Days, it will be a long time before I see if this approach works, but I already appreciate one benefit of this structured approach with some flexibility: calmness. I feel calm.
Tomorrow morning, I will leave very early to go pick up Anne. It will be nice to have her all to myself on the drive back. She has a lot on her plate this fall because she has to apply to colleges.
Day 14 – Monday, August 22, 2011: Anne looks thinner which definitely pleases me. My husband just walked by and said, "My husband weighs 210 pounds. What should I do? I think I'll sit down and eat!" Sure, he went backpacking for two weeks at Philmont -- no wonder he lost weight! Meanwhile, I've been in a van since 4:45 this morning, so it's time to take Pepper for a walk!
Anne has been wearing a pedometer which I think has resulted in her losing some weight. I also got to see the Scoutastic program manager who actually is called Scouterrific, but I had misremembered his nickname. What an inspiration he is! Anne hopes to return to Many Point, and I cannot think of a better environment for a kid.
Day 15 – Tuesday, August 23, 2011: 203.4 Today I came up with a motto for the diet, something I can say to myself when I am eating. The motto is: Light feels right. I think that I can try fasting without any bonus points. I think I'm ready. The reason why I am now ready is that I figured out why fasting is important: it teaches me that the feeling of lightness is pleasant, and that feeling results in my eating less when I am not fasting. As a beginner faster, I have had some problems with overeating after a fast, but that is because I had not learned the fundamental lesson of fasting that eating less actually results in feeling better. I had read that a diet which results in deprivation doesn't work in the long run. Well, here is the reason why: if you feel deprived, then you haven't experienced the pleasantness of feeling light.
Meanwhile, my weight went up yet again. Tom's weight on the scale registered 210.2. That's embarrassing that I am so close in weight to him. Oh well. That's the way it is. I am feeling optimistic about what is in store for me.
Day 16 – Wednesday, August 24, 2011: 202.2 Last night, I did not get home until after 8:30 PM after having left the house at 8 AM. I had the kids at a beach for more than two hours, and during that time I decided that I could go right into fasting without bonus points. I had a phone interview this morning at 7, and now I need to drive Anne over to the U of M for an orientation. It's important that we finalize the list of schools to which she would like to apply. I'm just plain busy. If I can repeat to myself "Light feels right", I think I can follow this diet without much difficulty at all. Fasting days are simply the means to reinforce the rightness of lightness. The diet needs to be like background music, always there but not much noticed. I think I'm ready for once per month evaluation of what I am doing.
4 PM: I fasted until 2:30 PM and then indulged in popcorn (of course!), a peanut butter sandwich, milk, ice cream.... Now I'm stuffed. I need to return to the idea of a transition period. It saddens me that this is so tough, but it is. That's the way that it is, as Walter Cronkite used to say. I just need to accept that this transition will be difficult, but I think following the diet out of habit will not be.
Day 17 – Thursday, August 25, 2011: 202.4 My goal was to end the month at +1 Temperance Point. Right now, I have 2, but I will subtract 2 on Sunday. The way to get to 1 is to have 1 Fast Day and no Exception Days through the end of Thursday next week.
I took on more than I could handle yesterday by deciding to just follow the program without any transition time, and it backfired. Now I'm back to where I was yesterday morning but need to make up for yesterday's Exception Day. I'm fasting today. By dinner, I will have made up for the mistake I made yesterday.
It is hard to be reminded of my weakness. My weight is remarkably stable given all the dieting changes I make, and that disturbs me because it reminds me of the "set point" theory that you settle to a specific weight. Well, I got to 200 pounds somewhere around 2004. That was not my weight before 2004, so I don't think that theory is right!
12:30 PM: I was in the car for about 3 hours this morning, but I still haven't eaten anything. If I can just get through the next several hours, that will be it for fasting until Labor Day. I feel good about this decision because I can adjust slowly to fasting.
5 PM: I'm still on a Fast Day, and tomorrow we leave at 8:30 AM for my brother in law's cabin, so I will be deterred from overeating by a sense of propriety.
6 PM: I made it, so now all I need to do is have Normal Days until I can eat what I want on Sunday.
Day 18 – Friday, August 26, 2011: 200.6 I think this diet will result in a positive change in my personality to a person who is calmer and more able to handle stress. I have a book called The Longevity Factor which discusses how some stress actually lengthens life, and I think that fasting may be one of the types of positive stress which does exactly that. I've gone from fearing that fasting is bad for you to starting to realize it is good for you.
Last night, I forgot about making dinner because I was wrapped up in looking at a book on colleges that I had just gotten from the library. I had a simple meal to make so dinner was only a few minutes late, but I totally forgot about dinner until Tom walked in the door. How could that be? How could someone who had to snack between meals in order to avoid the feeling of starvation now go almost 24 hours without food and forget to make dinner?
Day 20 – Sunday, August 28, 2011: I had another Exception Day yesterday and now my Temperance Points are at 0, so I am attempting yet another fast until dinner tomorrow. Here is something from a book I am reading, The Shallows by Nicholas Carr: "My brain, I realized, wasn't just drifting. It was hungry. It was demanding to be fed the way the Net fed it -- and the more it was fed, the hungrier it became.' (page 16). This sounds like what happens with snacking!
Day 21 – Monday, August 29, 2011: It is 11 PM, and we just got in from visiting a college that is 368 miles by car from our house. There is no public transportation. This is what I get for family vacations in the great outdoors: Anne is interested in a college located in a remote area of Michigan. It is a beautiful campus and a great school. I spent the day with Anne and she saw how easily I handled fasting, although our only discussion was my not having breakfast or lunch. I am now at +1 Temperance Points and need to have just two Normal Days to make my goal for the month of ending with +1 Temperance Points.
Day 22 – Tuesday, August 30, 2011: 203.8 I'm not sure how to explain the bump in weight, but I'm not too discouraged. I think fasting might be like learning to ride a bike: you have to expect a few falls. I had an Exception Day on Saturday and then my normal Feast Day on Sunday followed by a 24 hour fast. Last night, after my fast ended, I had a foot long sub from Subway, a Mountain Dew and an orange juice. I needed the caffeine for the long drive home, especially when I was going through road construction zones in the dark. It's OK. What I need to do is focus on following the diet. By the time I get to a regular schedule of fasting twice per week, I think I will be thinner. The real benefit now is that I have lost a sense of hunger as a problem. Yesterday, when we were meeting with a math professor, my stomach started growling. My only discomfort was the concern that the professor would notice. I did not feel any other discomfort. Sure, there was a sense of hunger, but it wasn't painful or in any way uncomfortable. It was natural. I think we are in a society in which hunger is a terrible thing, and it isn't.
As I was sitting here, I thought I'd type www.stophungernow.com into google and see what I'd find. Sure enough, there is a Web site with this as the mission statement: "The organization is driven by a vision of a world without hunger and a mission to end hunger in our lifetime." I have no knowledge of this organization. I just assumed that someone would have taken a Web site with those three words strung together, and the mission statement of the organization sure buttresses my theory that hunger is portrayed as a problem rather than a natural rhythm in human life. I'm not in any way impugning that the organization is combating a false problem, since the home page of the organization shows people in underdeveloped countries like Haiti. My point is that the mission statement is a broad statement about ending hunger, and I think hunger may well be a good and natural thing. I think I prefer the medieval thinking on fasting to the modern fear-mongering about hunger.
5 PM: I am having trouble sticking to my diet, but I have not had a snack yet. Now it is almost 5, and I think I'll hang on. I want to have +1 Temperance Points by the end of August!
7:30 PM: Today I lasted until after 6 PM before I started munching on cheese and crackers which I had prepared. Dumb! I am fasting until tomorrow night because I think I will make it this time. I've gotten closer each time.
9 PM: My current number of Temperance Points is now at 0. I will try to fast tomorrow to get it to +1 and then have a normal day on the next day. It is just plain difficult to adjust to fasting, and I'm ending up with Exception Days. That's OK. I'll eventually figure it out. Tonight, I made it to 6 PM.
I want to focus on following the diet rather than on fluctuations in weight, so I think I should just weigh myself once per month and maybe even just update how I'm doing once per month since, really, I use my writing as a way to evaluate what I am doing and whether I should be doing something differently. I want to stick with the diet as is at least until I have made the full transition to fasting twice per week, so writing may actually be counterproductive.
Day 23 – Wednesday, August 31, 2011: 205.0 The scale does not lie. I am in a binge/fast mode, very familiar to me as a dieter. My mistake was in allowing myself to fast for 24 hours as a way to make up for an Exception Day. That is a deal that I have taken. I don't even know how many Exception Days I have taken in the last few weeks. It didn't worry me because I could just fast to make up for it.
What I need to do is go back to what worked to get me down to 195 pounds, which is two Exception Days per month. I can add fasting on top of that. Tomorrow is a new Day 1.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, August 9, 2011: 202.0 (This month's goal is 180.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 22.0 pounds.)
My diet is a hybrid of intermittent fasting and meal timing with no "portion control". It is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with frequency and consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less frequent and less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating times by fasting, and I decrease frequency by eating only at meals on most days.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
Today, I can fast for 24 hours without experiencing hunger or feeling at all distracted. I learned from reading the book Why We Get Fat that low-carb diets and fasting (which eliminates all food, including carbs) have something in common: there is surprisingly little feeling of hunger. The big benefit of fasting is that a fast ends, whereas you are constantly restricted in your eating with the low-carb approach.
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
I govern my appetite by tracking Temperance Points. I assign points to each day. There are four types of days:
1. Feast Days: These are all Sundays and only Sundays. On these days, I have "unconditional permission to eat", a term taken from the book Intuitive Eating.
1. Normal Days: On these days, I have three meals but no snacks or sweets. For each meal, I have everything in front of me before I take one bite, and I can have as much as I want (no "portion control"). I also can have caloric liquids (including pop, which I don't define as a sweet and including Italian ice, which I don't define as a solid) any time during the day. This meal timing is inspired by The No S Diet.
2. Fast Days: These are days when I don't have anything caloric for any 24-hour period or from one dinner until 6 PM the next night or from one dinner until dinner the next night. For the rest of the day after my fast ends, I follow the rules of a Normal Day. I can fast no more than three times per week, and I cannot have a current number of Temperance Points that is greater than 10. My standard Fast Days are Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and Thursday dinner to Friday dinner. Some of the wisdom of fasting is described in The Alternate Day Diet, but a lot of my inspiration comes from religious fasting, especially those done by virtually every Christian during the medieval period.
3. Exception Days: These are days other than Sundays when I have "unconditional permission to eat." I can choose when to take an Exception Day. This idea was taken from The No S Diet. The Exception Day is from one midnight to the next.
My overarching goal for dieting is to keep the number of Temperance Points above 0. The points assigned to each day are as follows:
Feast Day: -2
Normal Day: 0
Fast Day: 1
Exception Day: -1
The book Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon is a detailed description of why fasting is good for you. I was impressed by how the book countered the conventional wisdom that it is important to eat every few hours. I am more impressed, however, by the medieval Christian tradition that had everyone in society fasting two days per week.
We don't live in a society like that. I track Temperance Points as a way to give myself the flexibility to eat in this society while still being able to eat when it is socially appropriate to do so. There is no physical need for three to six eating occasions per day, at least as I have experienced with fasting. There is, however, a need to be able to eat for social reasons. Somewhere in a dieting book, I read the term "perfect compliance." In a society in which food is constantly present, it is hard to follow a diet with "perfect compliance." I decided that following a diet with "perfect compliance" because that is how habits are formed that are followed without thinking. For example, I don't debate whether or not to brush my teeth in the morning. Allowing Italian ice on a Normal Day without calling it either a sweet or a snack is my way of reminding myself of the importance of "perfect compliance" because I added it as an allowable food after I stretched my diet to allow myself to have it as a dessert when I was visiting my parents, and -- upon returning home -- proceeded to binge on Italian ice. There are plenty of "slippery slope" foods, and I need to be careful about going down a "slippery slope" into a binge.
For my diet, there is also no "portion control". In fact, I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic. Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet?
In contrast to the modern “portion control†approach to weight management, those who lived in the medieval period viewed gluttons as those who ate outside the proscribed times, not those who ate too much. (This is from the book Fast and Feast.) I return to that definition of gluttony as my way to cultivate the virtue of temperance. There is something very religious about fasting. Fasting is about self-control and self-discipline. I have to fight my tendency to eat whatever and whenever I want, and fasting is the traditional religious way to fight gluttony.
And why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point" has "point" in it, which is useful because I track points for the diet. "Many Point", however, refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp two weeks before I started this diet. There is a Family Camp there for siblings of Scouts, and my beloved Anne is a camp counselor there this year.
I miss Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her third grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. When I am tempted to consider a "portion control" approach to dieting, I can think of the beauty I witnessed that night, and I can stay patient with this diet.
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Yes, it can be difficult to adjust to fasting, but it is very freeing to fast intermittently. As a comparison, I gave up coffee when I was at Many Point. Before then, I would get a caffeine withdrawal headache if I didn't have a certain amount of coffee right away in the morning. Now, I don't coffee at all. It is very freeing.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh. It may be that I have been searching for the perfect diet. That has been a fool's errand. Instead, I need a "good enough" diet that I follow with "perfect compliance." This may be that diet.
Day 1 – Tuesday, August 9, 2011: 202.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, August 10, 2011:
Day 3 – Thursday, August 11, 2011:
Day 4 – Friday, August 12, 2011:
Day 5 – Saturday, August 13, 2011:
Day 6 – Sunday, August 14, 2011:
Day 7 – Monday, August 15, 2011:
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 16, 2011:
Day 9 – Wednesday, August 17, 2011: 199.8
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011:
Day 11 – Friday, August 19, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, August 20, 2011: 202.2
Day 13 – Sunday, August 21, 2011: 202.4
Ending Temperance Points = 3
Past Week's Steps > 58,000
Strengthening Exercises = 7/8 (7 out of 8 exercises once)
Day 14 – Monday, August 22, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, August 23, 2011: 203.4
Day 16 – Wednesday, August 24, 2011: 202.2
Day 17 – Thursday, August 25, 2011: 202.4
Day 18 – Friday, August 26, 2011: 200.6
Day 19 – Saturday, August 27, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, August 28, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, August 29, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, August 30, 2011: 203.8
Day 23 – Wednesday, August 31, 2011: 205.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, August 10, 2011: On the plane yesterday, I decided just not to diet for the whole vacation, so I gave up the 24 hour fast by having 2 airplane bags of pretzels. Then, at my parents' house, I munched on a snack of crackers and dip, had a cookie, and had angel food cake. Now, the next morning at 6, I lie awake feeling nauseated by all I ate yesterday. The diet I have described is a good one for long-term weight management, I think. The problem is that I am bingeing after a fast. What to do? I think I may need time to adjust to this approach, and so I am going to award myself bonus points each month, gradually decreasing them to zero. This month, I look ahead to three Sundays. I award myself 6 bonus points to cover the -2 points for each Sunday plus I add 2 points so that I have the equivalent of the diet I used to follow the 2 Exception Days per month. This puts me at 8 points today.
Day 4 – Friday, August 12, 2011: I looked forward in the calendar to see how many bonus points I should award myself each month until I am full adjusted to this diet. They are:
September: (4 Sundays X 2) + 1 = 9
October: (5 Sundays X 2) + 0 = 10
November: (4 Sundays X 2) - 1 = 7
December: (4 Sundays X 2) - 2 = 6
January: (5 Sundays X 2) - 3 = 7
February: (4 Sundays X 2) - 4 = 4
March: (4 Sundays X 2) - 5 = 3
April: (5 Sundays X 2) - 6 = 4
May: (4 Sundays X 2) - 7 = 1
June: (4 Sundays X 2) - 8 = 0
July: (5 Sundays X 2) - 9 = 1
This is an elaborate way for me to reach my goal of the diet described above, but I already feel better about a go-slow approach. Meal timing alone won't result in weight loss below 195. Fasting alone had an unfortunate consequence of out of control bingeing. The adjustment period of one year allows me to return to meal timing alone and then gradually add fasting.
Weight management has been the single most challenging problem in my life, and I have had many challenges as everyone does. The diet gives me hope to solve my problem, and the adjustment approach gives me hope that I will succeed in following the diet.
While I do think exercise is important, I just don't think it is a way to lose weight. Yesterday, at Disneyland, I wore my pedometer and logged 35,000 steps. It did feel good. I do want to walk more as a way to improve health, but I think the only people who might actually control weight through exercise are those who log lots of miles, like my sister in law who runs 25 miles per week. I'm just not interested in doing that -- too much effort. This diet doesn't require a lot of effort. The question that is outstanding is this: Will I be satisfied with my weight if I follow this diet?
Day 5 – Saturday, August 13, 2011: Tonight we went to an all you can eat restaurant called Souplation which had incredibly good food. I loaded up my plate with a big salad and soup. When it came time to get seconds, I just could not bring myself to get another plate. I sat there watching my family eat all this wonderful food, knowing I was not stuffed. I realized that the cue for me to stop eating was an empty plate. That is exactly the opposite of the recommended approach for intuitive eating, which is to rely on internal hunger signals. Back in the days when food was not so plentiful, I bet people ate until the plate was empty so as not to waste food.
Day 6 – Sunday, August 14, 2011:
Temperance Points = 6 (as of end of day)
Steps last week > 60,000
Strengthening exercises: None
Day 7 – Monday, August 15, 2011: There was a lot to enjoy yesterday, and I did: muffins and root beer floats and cake. I ate what I wanted and, to put it delicately, my digestive system couldn't handle the food. I think that the contrast between food on a Normal Day and food on a Feast Day is what causes the stomach problems. If I could fast today, I would, but it would be inappropriate. Having a system with Temperance Points allows me to be flexible enough so that no one even needs to know I am on a diet.
6:40 AM: Last night, my mother and I had a long talk about Anne and her choices for colleges. She did so well on her standardized tests that she has a lot of options. I feel bad, however, because her weight problem is going to so affect her unless she gets it under control. My hope is that I show her a path out of obesity. Right now, I appear to have failed, but I think I have the program in place that will work. Time will tell.
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 16, 2011: There's a certain calmness that I feel when thinking about my approach to weight loss. Sitting on the plane next to my two younger children, as they munch on snacks, I let them share my snack as well because I am fasting for 24 hours, starting at 7 AM CST when I left my parents' house. I am thinking about Aristotle's Ethics and how being virtuous requires both knowing what is virtuous and doing what is virtuous.
Could it be, I wonder, that the obesity epidemic has been caused by a scientific consensus that the way to be thin is to practice "portion control"? I have what I believe is the first book to promote calorie counting as a way to lose weight: the book Eat Well, Stay Well by Dr. Ancel Keys, which was published in 1958.
As I write, my stomach is growling. It is a pleasant feeling. I am not in a panic about hunger. I actually look forward to the experience of fasting because it seems so restful.
Going forward, I'm not sure I have much more to write. I'll track my steps and my strengthening exercises each week but without the need for "perfect compliance" that I expect from my diet.
On Monday, I pick up Anne from camp. If this diet works, she may read what I write or ask me how I lost weight. My goal has been to light a way for her.
Years ago, I gave my mother a paperweight with the message, "A mother's love is from above." I saw the paperweight on her dresser when I visited this past week. Thinking of my daughter now, with tears in my eyes, I hope that I am pointing the way to good health by appreciating and living the Biblical wisdom of "Govern your appetite."
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011: I sailed right through yesterday feeling great about getting below 200, and then I made an error in deciding to stretch the diet to allow Italian ice as a liquid. The result was a binge after dinner, interrupted by Ellie being dropped off after being with a friend (embarrassing!) I went in the freezer this morning to figure out what I had eaten: three Italian ice, six ice cream bars, and two entire bowls of popcorn. Why? I think it was the reaction to fasting. The next time I fast will be on a Saturday so that I have Sunday as a recovery day, since Sunday is always a day of "unconditional permission to eat". We will be at my brother in law's cabin next weekend, so I'll have to wait until the next weekend which is when we'll be camping right near the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota.
Day 11 – Friday, August 19, 2011: Another binge after dinner last night. I was thinking about fasting again. Hmmm... This sounds familiar. This is what happened whenever I thought about going on a "portion control" diet. I started the week with 6 Temperance Points, added 1 with a successful Fast, and lost 2 with Exception Days. If I continue to the rest of the month with no Exception Days or Fasts, I will lose 4 more Temperance Points for the two remaining Sundays of the month and end up with and ending balance of 1 Temperance Point. That's good enough for me. I think I'll change the allocation of points at the start of next month so that I have two points for each Sunday plus two additional points (instead of what I had planned which was one). Apparently, go slow wasn't good enough. I need to go slower. Meal timing is the essential foundation of my diet, and I need to keep it. I may be 200 pounds, but I haven't gained weight since I started this meal timing approach. Things could be a whole lot worse. I'm also going to make sure I get in my 60,000 steps per week and I need to do those simple strengthening exercises.
7:30 AM: I think I will plan my next fast for the evening of August 31 to the evening of September 1. I will try to have only one fast in the month of September. Bingeing is such a terrible experience. I just don't want to return to that habit no matter how much I weigh.
Day 12 – Saturday, August 20, 2011: 202.2 Could any weight be more depressing than .2 pound higher than your starting weight? I realized this morning, as I lay in bed, that I have been trying to find the perfect diet and have been tweaking forever. What I need is a "good enough" diet that I can follow. This may be that diet. I just need to add in Fast Days gradually over time. Because I am nervous about being able to fast now that I have had some experiences with binge behavior that bring me back to the days when a calorie counting approach started to collapse, I decided to fast today just to prove to myself that I could do it. It helps to know that tomorrow is a Feast Day.
Meanwhile, I have had a lot of contact from recruiters, and it even had a negative impact on my California vacation. Advice I had gotten from other consultants was to pick two or three recruiters and just have them represent you. I now appreciate the wisdom of that approach. Dealing with a lot of recruiters can result in chasing leads that aren't very good, and you can also harm your relationship with the good recruiters. I now have four different firms who have submitted me into one client that acts as an internal consulting firm to a large company. Of those, the one that my sister in law had recommended is the one that has disappointed me. The other three could be my representatives going forward.
My experience with yet another firm is a good example of why working with many firms is not a good idea. This firm was also recommended to me. On Monday, I got an email from the recruiter asking for a telephone interview later this week. I sent him some times on Thursday and Friday. When I didn't hear from him, I called and left a voice message. What I got back was an automated call letting me know that he had gotten my call. Come on... That's pathetic. If he isn't interested enough in me to follow up by picking up the phone himself or replying by email, how will he treat me when he is representing me to a client? How will he treat the client?
These three firms that I have decided would be good to represent me may not be the best in the entire market, but I sure have enjoyed working with them. I think it does may sense just to stick with them.
With dieting, I need to give up my search for the perfect diet, just like it is counterproductive for me to continue searching for the perfect recruiter. This diet has really good potential. It will take until next summer before it is fully implemented, but I am going to stick with it to see what happens -- although I am adding in that Italian ice is allowed on Normal Days as a reminder to me that stretching the diet is not a good idea -- ever! That's why I have Exception Days!
8 AM: I have to walk about 15,000 steps today to make my weekly goal, and I just took Pepper for a walk. While walking, I realized that I was spending too much time deciding when to fast. I think I need to set up default days to fast and just leave it at that. I like the idea of fasting Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until I reach a current Temperance Point level of 10 -- unless there is some reason not to fast. I am not going to do this right away. My goal is to end this month at 1 Temperance Point. I started the month at 0 Temperance Points.
Day 13 – Sunday, August 21, 2011: 202.4 I started out weighing 202.4 and ate a lot today. Instead of being upset, I kept on thinking something during church: "My faith has saved me." Then I was thinking of the times during my life when I felt the worst and relied on God to get me through. Do I feel desperate now? No. I feel calm. The reality is that meal timing without portion control does not result in weight loss. I already know this. What I don't know is if fasting added to meal timing, still without portion control, will result in weight loss. I have a structured plan for adding fasting. This month, I used two Exception Days and had one Fast Day. Next month, I will have two Exception Days and two Fast Days. The default fasting times will be September 4 (the first Monday) and September 6 (the first Wednesday). After that there will be no more Fast Days until October, when I'll plan to have three Fast Days. This is a very gradual adjustment. Because I am ramping up so slowly on Fast Days, it will be a long time before I see if this approach works, but I already appreciate one benefit of this structured approach with some flexibility: calmness. I feel calm.
Tomorrow morning, I will leave very early to go pick up Anne. It will be nice to have her all to myself on the drive back. She has a lot on her plate this fall because she has to apply to colleges.
Day 14 – Monday, August 22, 2011: Anne looks thinner which definitely pleases me. My husband just walked by and said, "My husband weighs 210 pounds. What should I do? I think I'll sit down and eat!" Sure, he went backpacking for two weeks at Philmont -- no wonder he lost weight! Meanwhile, I've been in a van since 4:45 this morning, so it's time to take Pepper for a walk!
Anne has been wearing a pedometer which I think has resulted in her losing some weight. I also got to see the Scoutastic program manager who actually is called Scouterrific, but I had misremembered his nickname. What an inspiration he is! Anne hopes to return to Many Point, and I cannot think of a better environment for a kid.
Day 15 – Tuesday, August 23, 2011: 203.4 Today I came up with a motto for the diet, something I can say to myself when I am eating. The motto is: Light feels right. I think that I can try fasting without any bonus points. I think I'm ready. The reason why I am now ready is that I figured out why fasting is important: it teaches me that the feeling of lightness is pleasant, and that feeling results in my eating less when I am not fasting. As a beginner faster, I have had some problems with overeating after a fast, but that is because I had not learned the fundamental lesson of fasting that eating less actually results in feeling better. I had read that a diet which results in deprivation doesn't work in the long run. Well, here is the reason why: if you feel deprived, then you haven't experienced the pleasantness of feeling light.
Meanwhile, my weight went up yet again. Tom's weight on the scale registered 210.2. That's embarrassing that I am so close in weight to him. Oh well. That's the way it is. I am feeling optimistic about what is in store for me.
Day 16 – Wednesday, August 24, 2011: 202.2 Last night, I did not get home until after 8:30 PM after having left the house at 8 AM. I had the kids at a beach for more than two hours, and during that time I decided that I could go right into fasting without bonus points. I had a phone interview this morning at 7, and now I need to drive Anne over to the U of M for an orientation. It's important that we finalize the list of schools to which she would like to apply. I'm just plain busy. If I can repeat to myself "Light feels right", I think I can follow this diet without much difficulty at all. Fasting days are simply the means to reinforce the rightness of lightness. The diet needs to be like background music, always there but not much noticed. I think I'm ready for once per month evaluation of what I am doing.
4 PM: I fasted until 2:30 PM and then indulged in popcorn (of course!), a peanut butter sandwich, milk, ice cream.... Now I'm stuffed. I need to return to the idea of a transition period. It saddens me that this is so tough, but it is. That's the way that it is, as Walter Cronkite used to say. I just need to accept that this transition will be difficult, but I think following the diet out of habit will not be.
Day 17 – Thursday, August 25, 2011: 202.4 My goal was to end the month at +1 Temperance Point. Right now, I have 2, but I will subtract 2 on Sunday. The way to get to 1 is to have 1 Fast Day and no Exception Days through the end of Thursday next week.
I took on more than I could handle yesterday by deciding to just follow the program without any transition time, and it backfired. Now I'm back to where I was yesterday morning but need to make up for yesterday's Exception Day. I'm fasting today. By dinner, I will have made up for the mistake I made yesterday.
It is hard to be reminded of my weakness. My weight is remarkably stable given all the dieting changes I make, and that disturbs me because it reminds me of the "set point" theory that you settle to a specific weight. Well, I got to 200 pounds somewhere around 2004. That was not my weight before 2004, so I don't think that theory is right!
12:30 PM: I was in the car for about 3 hours this morning, but I still haven't eaten anything. If I can just get through the next several hours, that will be it for fasting until Labor Day. I feel good about this decision because I can adjust slowly to fasting.
5 PM: I'm still on a Fast Day, and tomorrow we leave at 8:30 AM for my brother in law's cabin, so I will be deterred from overeating by a sense of propriety.
6 PM: I made it, so now all I need to do is have Normal Days until I can eat what I want on Sunday.
Day 18 – Friday, August 26, 2011: 200.6 I think this diet will result in a positive change in my personality to a person who is calmer and more able to handle stress. I have a book called The Longevity Factor which discusses how some stress actually lengthens life, and I think that fasting may be one of the types of positive stress which does exactly that. I've gone from fearing that fasting is bad for you to starting to realize it is good for you.
Last night, I forgot about making dinner because I was wrapped up in looking at a book on colleges that I had just gotten from the library. I had a simple meal to make so dinner was only a few minutes late, but I totally forgot about dinner until Tom walked in the door. How could that be? How could someone who had to snack between meals in order to avoid the feeling of starvation now go almost 24 hours without food and forget to make dinner?
Day 20 – Sunday, August 28, 2011: I had another Exception Day yesterday and now my Temperance Points are at 0, so I am attempting yet another fast until dinner tomorrow. Here is something from a book I am reading, The Shallows by Nicholas Carr: "My brain, I realized, wasn't just drifting. It was hungry. It was demanding to be fed the way the Net fed it -- and the more it was fed, the hungrier it became.' (page 16). This sounds like what happens with snacking!
Day 21 – Monday, August 29, 2011: It is 11 PM, and we just got in from visiting a college that is 368 miles by car from our house. There is no public transportation. This is what I get for family vacations in the great outdoors: Anne is interested in a college located in a remote area of Michigan. It is a beautiful campus and a great school. I spent the day with Anne and she saw how easily I handled fasting, although our only discussion was my not having breakfast or lunch. I am now at +1 Temperance Points and need to have just two Normal Days to make my goal for the month of ending with +1 Temperance Points.
Day 22 – Tuesday, August 30, 2011: 203.8 I'm not sure how to explain the bump in weight, but I'm not too discouraged. I think fasting might be like learning to ride a bike: you have to expect a few falls. I had an Exception Day on Saturday and then my normal Feast Day on Sunday followed by a 24 hour fast. Last night, after my fast ended, I had a foot long sub from Subway, a Mountain Dew and an orange juice. I needed the caffeine for the long drive home, especially when I was going through road construction zones in the dark. It's OK. What I need to do is focus on following the diet. By the time I get to a regular schedule of fasting twice per week, I think I will be thinner. The real benefit now is that I have lost a sense of hunger as a problem. Yesterday, when we were meeting with a math professor, my stomach started growling. My only discomfort was the concern that the professor would notice. I did not feel any other discomfort. Sure, there was a sense of hunger, but it wasn't painful or in any way uncomfortable. It was natural. I think we are in a society in which hunger is a terrible thing, and it isn't.
As I was sitting here, I thought I'd type www.stophungernow.com into google and see what I'd find. Sure enough, there is a Web site with this as the mission statement: "The organization is driven by a vision of a world without hunger and a mission to end hunger in our lifetime." I have no knowledge of this organization. I just assumed that someone would have taken a Web site with those three words strung together, and the mission statement of the organization sure buttresses my theory that hunger is portrayed as a problem rather than a natural rhythm in human life. I'm not in any way impugning that the organization is combating a false problem, since the home page of the organization shows people in underdeveloped countries like Haiti. My point is that the mission statement is a broad statement about ending hunger, and I think hunger may well be a good and natural thing. I think I prefer the medieval thinking on fasting to the modern fear-mongering about hunger.
5 PM: I am having trouble sticking to my diet, but I have not had a snack yet. Now it is almost 5, and I think I'll hang on. I want to have +1 Temperance Points by the end of August!
7:30 PM: Today I lasted until after 6 PM before I started munching on cheese and crackers which I had prepared. Dumb! I am fasting until tomorrow night because I think I will make it this time. I've gotten closer each time.
9 PM: My current number of Temperance Points is now at 0. I will try to fast tomorrow to get it to +1 and then have a normal day on the next day. It is just plain difficult to adjust to fasting, and I'm ending up with Exception Days. That's OK. I'll eventually figure it out. Tonight, I made it to 6 PM.
I want to focus on following the diet rather than on fluctuations in weight, so I think I should just weigh myself once per month and maybe even just update how I'm doing once per month since, really, I use my writing as a way to evaluate what I am doing and whether I should be doing something differently. I want to stick with the diet as is at least until I have made the full transition to fasting twice per week, so writing may actually be counterproductive.
Day 23 – Wednesday, August 31, 2011: 205.0 The scale does not lie. I am in a binge/fast mode, very familiar to me as a dieter. My mistake was in allowing myself to fast for 24 hours as a way to make up for an Exception Day. That is a deal that I have taken. I don't even know how many Exception Days I have taken in the last few weeks. It didn't worry me because I could just fast to make up for it.
What I need to do is go back to what worked to get me down to 195 pounds, which is two Exception Days per month. I can add fasting on top of that. Tomorrow is a new Day 1.
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:32 pm, edited 39 times in total.
Thanks and stuff.
Hey there. I just want to get back to you on the whole analyzing your successes and obstacles to look for a pattern plan. Which I started, but because I like to do a careful job, but also because I don't really know the best way to approach in this case, I have slacked off on. So I haven't gotten far, and now I don't want to go back and start over the right way.
And thanks, btw, for keeping such great records of your journey, because even though I now don't have time to do the work necessary to analyze them carefully, they have greatly helped me on my own journey.
And I'm totally willing to analyze them in a wholistic, non-detail oriented way, which hopefully will help, somehow.
I think Reinhard's plan works for you, but you get impatient and don't give it enough time. Because it gets easy, and you like working for your rewards.
You added an extra rule from the get go, because you like the idea of perfect compliance. I like it too, but it is at odds with No S, which is all about good enough. I'd recommend dropping perfect compliance for weight loss, if you haven't already.
How much time is enough time? It varies, and I don't know what it would be for you. For me it was about a year and a half. To trust the system, and to get back in touch with my flesh, and learn my body's actual, natural cues.
Probably you can also lose the weight with a more complicated plan that feels like work. I definitely won't fault you, because I love my work too. But don't give up on easy, if there's anything more important to you than losing the weight. Because I think easy works here.
And thanks, btw, for keeping such great records of your journey, because even though I now don't have time to do the work necessary to analyze them carefully, they have greatly helped me on my own journey.
And I'm totally willing to analyze them in a wholistic, non-detail oriented way, which hopefully will help, somehow.
I think Reinhard's plan works for you, but you get impatient and don't give it enough time. Because it gets easy, and you like working for your rewards.
You added an extra rule from the get go, because you like the idea of perfect compliance. I like it too, but it is at odds with No S, which is all about good enough. I'd recommend dropping perfect compliance for weight loss, if you haven't already.
How much time is enough time? It varies, and I don't know what it would be for you. For me it was about a year and a half. To trust the system, and to get back in touch with my flesh, and learn my body's actual, natural cues.
Probably you can also lose the weight with a more complicated plan that feels like work. I definitely won't fault you, because I love my work too. But don't give up on easy, if there's anything more important to you than losing the weight. Because I think easy works here.
Clarica,
Yes, I think I need to be motivated by having some complexity. I think I like to count! The pedometer has been a surprise success because I can count steps and enjoy getting more and more steps. I did follow my diet with little or no change from May of 2009 to the next year, and I didn't lose any weight. Now I'm returning to that approach but adding some fasting. Even though I am still fat, my relationship with food is changed in a very positive way. I no longer feel panicked if I'm not near food. I just plain feel more relaxed.
Kathleen
Yes, I think I need to be motivated by having some complexity. I think I like to count! The pedometer has been a surprise success because I can count steps and enjoy getting more and more steps. I did follow my diet with little or no change from May of 2009 to the next year, and I didn't lose any weight. Now I'm returning to that approach but adding some fasting. Even though I am still fat, my relationship with food is changed in a very positive way. I no longer feel panicked if I'm not near food. I just plain feel more relaxed.
Kathleen
Kathleen said:
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011: I sailed right through yesterday feeling great about getting below 200, and then I made an error in deciding to stretch the diet to allow Italian ice as a liquid. The result was a binge after dinner, interrupted by Ellie being dropped off after being with a friend (embarrassing!) I went in the freezer this morning to figure out what I had eaten: three Italian ice, six ice cream bars, and two entire bowls of popcorn. Why? I think it was the reaction to fasting.
This may fall into the category of MYOB, but my question, "Why?" is why is all this sugary food in the house? Who is it for? Evidently it causes a problem for you, Ellie, Anne, and maybe others. Why not go out on Sunday evening and enjoy an ice cream treat or whatever floats your boat and keep tempting stuff out of reach. You have mentioned the environment in our culture as a cause for obesity. Well, you have some environmental control. I remember your post about Ellie eating a quart of ice cream...couldn't happen if it is not there.
Again, sorry if this is butting in too much. I just know what works in our household. I used to keep ice cream in the freezer for my husband. He was always the thin one in the family. Eventually he started gaining weight and asked that I just not bring it home. That way he had no opportunity to get an extra bowl in the evening watching ballgames, etc.
I know the Intuitive Eating philosophy is to have all foods around, but that did not work for my family.
Day 10 – Thursday, August 18, 2011: I sailed right through yesterday feeling great about getting below 200, and then I made an error in deciding to stretch the diet to allow Italian ice as a liquid. The result was a binge after dinner, interrupted by Ellie being dropped off after being with a friend (embarrassing!) I went in the freezer this morning to figure out what I had eaten: three Italian ice, six ice cream bars, and two entire bowls of popcorn. Why? I think it was the reaction to fasting.
This may fall into the category of MYOB, but my question, "Why?" is why is all this sugary food in the house? Who is it for? Evidently it causes a problem for you, Ellie, Anne, and maybe others. Why not go out on Sunday evening and enjoy an ice cream treat or whatever floats your boat and keep tempting stuff out of reach. You have mentioned the environment in our culture as a cause for obesity. Well, you have some environmental control. I remember your post about Ellie eating a quart of ice cream...couldn't happen if it is not there.
Again, sorry if this is butting in too much. I just know what works in our household. I used to keep ice cream in the freezer for my husband. He was always the thin one in the family. Eventually he started gaining weight and asked that I just not bring it home. That way he had no opportunity to get an extra bowl in the evening watching ballgames, etc.
I know the Intuitive Eating philosophy is to have all foods around, but that did not work for my family.
TexArk,
My mother had Italian ice as dessert twice. I had it without counting the day as an Exception Day because, I figured, it wasn't that sweet. When I got home, I carried over that idea to home and picked up some Italian ice. While there, I saw 12 ice cream sandwiches for $2.50 and picked them up because they were such a good deal.
Anne comes home on Monday. I like your idea of just not having the stuff in the house, but I also need to look at "slippery slope" foods. I can get away with having sugared pop because I don't have it except when we eat at a place like Wendy's because we are on the road.
Maybe what I can do is accept some diet stretches for social reasons but then make sure I stick to the diet as is for home.
Kathleen
My mother had Italian ice as dessert twice. I had it without counting the day as an Exception Day because, I figured, it wasn't that sweet. When I got home, I carried over that idea to home and picked up some Italian ice. While there, I saw 12 ice cream sandwiches for $2.50 and picked them up because they were such a good deal.
Anne comes home on Monday. I like your idea of just not having the stuff in the house, but I also need to look at "slippery slope" foods. I can get away with having sugared pop because I don't have it except when we eat at a place like Wendy's because we are on the road.
Maybe what I can do is accept some diet stretches for social reasons but then make sure I stick to the diet as is for home.
Kathleen
There's no real reason for keeping 12 ice cream sandwiches in the house if you know you struggle with binging. Slippery slope food or not, if you happen to have one of your trigger foods (or a bad day....), you will eat whatever is there.... I agree with Tex, I've taken to not buying multi-packs of snack or sweet food even on weekends as I know I'll be tempted to eat it during the week if it's leftover. And then I get the 'well if I eat it all now then it won't be there to tempt me tomorrow thinking' which is NOT good! If I have to go out and choose something sweet the effort will often put me offKathleen wrote:TexArk,
My mother had Italian ice as dessert twice. I had it without counting the day as an Exception Day because, I figured, it wasn't that sweet. When I got home, I carried over that idea to home and picked up some Italian ice. While there, I saw 12 ice cream sandwiches for $2.50 and picked them up because they were such a good deal.
Anne comes home on Monday. I like your idea of just not having the stuff in the house, but I also need to look at "slippery slope" foods. I can get away with having sugared pop because I don't have it except when we eat at a place like Wendy's because we are on the road.
Maybe what I can do is accept some diet stretches for social reasons but then make sure I stick to the diet as is for home.
Kathleen
Discouraging, I know, but your perseverence is admirable. I would encourage you not to stop weighing yourself daily, or at least several times per week
The study that I read about dieters who lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least 5 years showed that they all had one thing in common-they weighed themselves daily. (They all had different diets, and very little else in common.)
When you have to face that scale in the morning, it makes it much more likely that you will be careful about what you eat. Just a suggestion, to ignore if you want
The study that I read about dieters who lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least 5 years showed that they all had one thing in common-they weighed themselves daily. (They all had different diets, and very little else in common.)
When you have to face that scale in the morning, it makes it much more likely that you will be careful about what you eat. Just a suggestion, to ignore if you want
September 14, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6 (This month's goal is 179.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 24.6 pounds.)
My diet is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating by fasting intermittently.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
For my diet, I follow the simple yet profound philosophy of Aristotle: "We are what we repeatedly do." I am learning to eat lightly by fasting 100 times in a 12- month period. A Fast is a period of time without any calories. It is any 24 hour period or the period of time from one dinner to the next night's dinner or the period of time from one dinner to 6 PM the next night. I cannot fast more than three times in a week, and I need a 24-hour gap between fasts. To make this diet as simple as possible, I try to fast only from Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, from Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and from Thursday dinner to Friday dinner.
In addition, I take care of my body by using a pedometer and walking 10,000 steps per day Monday through Friday. I also do the strengthening exercise program from the book Strong Women Stay Thin. In one 12 month period, I will do that program 150 times. My body is so weak that I am starting with 2-pound weights. Finally, I suspect knee pain is in my future because I have had a few incidents of knee pain in the past year. I will do the isometric quadriceps exercise found int he book Treat Your Own Knees.
We only have today. All we ever have is this moment. I have spent way too much time focused on the "big picture" of balancing out binge days with other days, and The No S Diet helped me for sure to not be binge-eating all the time. Now I need to govern my appetite by learning that I can eat lightly or even not at all for a time and still function just fine. The big lesson of fasting is this: I feel better if I eat less.
Almost all diets today are based on a "portion control" approach which limits food intake by using an external measure of calories or carbs or types of food. I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic because the lesson of "portion control" is this: I feel worse if I eat less.
Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet? I managed 10 years of weight management with an intermittent "portion control" approach, and one day I just couldn't do it anymore.
Now what? Now I am following an intermittent fasting approach. And why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point†refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I love the place so much that it is the picture on my cell phone. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp in July. My daughter Ellie took a “Before†picture of me while we were there at Family Camp, which is designed for siblings of Scouts and Moms to stay while their sons and husbands are “Scout sideâ€. My beloved Anne was a camp counselor there from June 15 to August 22, and my daughter Katie also will be a camp counselor there someday.
This summer, I missed Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her fourth grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. When I am tempted to consider a "portion control" approach to dieting, I can think of the beauty I witnessed that night, and I can stay patient with this diet.
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh.
Weights:
Thursday, September 1, 2011: 204.8
Friday, September 2, 2011: 201.2
Day 1 – Saturday, September 3, 2011: 202.0: Exception Day (1)
Day 2 – Sunday, September 4, 2011: 203.6: Exception Day (0)
Day 3 – Monday, September 5, 2011: Exception Day (-1)
Day 4 – Tuesday, September 6, 2011: Exception Day (-2)
Day 5 – Wednesday, September 7, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 7 – Friday, September 9, 2011: Medical Exception Day (-3)
Day 8 – Saturday, September 10, 2011: Exception Day (2)
Day 9 – Sunday, September 11, 2011:
Day 10 – Monday, September 12, 2011: 203.2
Day 11 – Tuesday, September 13, 2011: 204.6
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6
Day 2 – Thursday, September 15, 2011:
Day 3 – Friday, September 16, 2011:
Day 4 – Saturday, September 17, 2011:
Day 5 – Sunday, September 18, 2011:
Day 6 – Monday, September 19, 2011:
Day 7 – Tuesday, September 20, 2011:
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011:
Day 9 – Thursday, September 22, 2011:
Day 10 – Friday, September 23, 2011:
Day 11 – Saturday, September 24, 2011:
Day 12 – Sunday, September 25, 2011:
Day 13 – Monday, September 26, 2011:
Day 14 – Tuesday, September 27, 2011: 205.8
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011:
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Journal:
Thursday, September 1, 2011: 204.8 Today is my husband's birthday and a fitting day for me to restart this diet. The kids return to school on Tuesday, and I don't yet have a job. I will have time to adjust to fasting just like I had time to adjust to meal timing three years ago.
Am I disappointed by how little weight I have lost in the three years since I started The No S Diet? Yes, of course I am. Am I disappointed that I went down this path? No. Not at all. I have spent years and years both obese and feeling like I'm starving all the time. Now I just am obese.
I'm taking a plunge in approach to fasting just like I did to meal timing three years ago. Tomorrow is a Friday, and I'm fasting tomorrow. We were supposed to be leaving for a last camping trip in the Boundary Waters, but Katie is sick. If she hasn't recovered by tomorrow, we won't go.
I am going to track my weight. It is too easy to fool myself that I am doing well when I don't track my weight. If I tried to adjust slowly to fasting, I think I'd end up heavier. It's just plain time to follow the diet.
I had not expected weight gain with last month's diet, but now I know that Exception Days need to be limited. This diet places the exact same limit on Exception Days that I had when I started the meal timing approach three years ago, so the only changes from the diet of three years ago are that I now have only one Feast Day per week (this change was made in about May of 2009) and I am adding fasting.
Friday, September 2, 2011: 201.2 I cancelled our camping reservation, and I then I also got sick yesterday. Now Tom has the day off, and we aren't going to Ely. I feel bad, but maybe it is for the best. I will still fast today, which will be easy because I don't feel like eating anything. Going forward, I think I'll just keep a journal once per week. I have Anne to take to colleges, and the client I had in April and May asked about having me back. I should get a job fairly easily, and I'm just not prepared on the home front to return to full time work for any length of time. I need to be more efficient and cut out what I do that is not absolutely essential. Writing has become something of a bad habit. I know what I need to do, but now I need to do it. Fasting is the path out of obesity. So many different religions have fasting as an essential part of the practice of their faith that it amazes me how long it took for me to figure this out.
7 PM: A quiet failure. I started eating at 4:30 PM despite not having felt well since yesterday afternoon and not having dinner. Now I'm stuffed. I'm changing the diet and giving up both counting and perfection.
Day 1 – Saturday, September 3, 2011: 202.0 I gave up trying to have a diet that I follow with perfection. My willingness to do strengthening exercises has been poor. On Wednesday and Friday, I did them, admittedly while watching a math DVD with my two younger daughters, but at least I did them. The reason why I did them, I think, is I decided I would only do them on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If I didn't do them on those days, then I had no way to make up for doing them. There's no pushing the exercises from one day to the next. This seems to have motivated me, so I'm trying the same thing with fasting and taking exceptions from Normal Days. There's no counting at all. Each day, I have what I am supposed to do, and I either do it or I don't. Today, for example, is a Normal Day, and I should walk 10,000 steps.
5 PM: At Costco, I gave in and made a lunch of the "taste tests". Then it occurred to me that having "taste tests" at Costco was not making me fat. What was? I am back to thinking that fasting is the way to be thin, and I decided to restart today with a diet that has just one objective: to fast twice per week. I won't even adjust the schedule of fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays for social reasons. If I need to break my fast for social reasons, that's perfectly OK.
Day 2 – Sunday, September 4, 2011: 203.6 I am just plain stuffed today, having purchased chocolate covered caramels at Costco and eaten about half of them. Total calories: approximately 2,400. I ate more than caramels today and in fact ate much of the day except when we went to the King Tut exhibit at the Science Museum.
Now what? Now I have the answer to the question I posed to myself yesterday: What is the difference between a Feast Day and a Normal Day? I think that, on Sundays, feasting means allowing myself whatever I want even if it isn't within reason. On Normal Days, I err on the side of not eating rather than eating.
I'm gong to try this for a week and see what I weigh next Sunday.
Day 3 – Monday, September 5, 2011: After two days of binge behavior, there is no way I am weighing myself tomorrow morning, so I'm changing the diet without renumbering the days. I am going back to a meal timing approach but eliminating Sundays as days of "unconditional permission to eat." Over a long period of time, I have lost the need for them. I just flip a switch and go into gorge mode. Now I think I can do without that behavior and just allow binge behavior on two days per month for social reasons.
Day 4 – Tuesday, September 6, 2011: That meal last night was incredibly disgusting, now that my stomach has gotten acquainted with it. I woke up about 2 and went to the couch where I slept fitfully the rest of the night. I like the idea of having two Exception Days per month. It is Day 4 of this diet, and I've had 3. That puts me at -1 for Exception Days. I hope I am cured of overeating from being up in the night thinking I would get sick from that slathering of cheese and refried beans. Why did I eat it all?
Today is the first day of school, and I am up before everyone else because of that awful meal. We have a mad scramble this morning because Katie needs to get in early because she missed Open House. God, what a fool I've been! As I look back now, I see that it's the number of Exception Days/Feast Days that have been holding me back.
Day 5 – Wednesday, September 7, 2011: After four straight Exception Days, I'd restart tomorrow on the 3rd anniversary of starting The No S Diet except that would mean I would have to weigh myself and I'm not doing that! This reminds me of my start to The No S Diet: four straight days of failure before I had one successful day.
I think I need to go cold turkey on snacks and sweets. I think I'm giving them both up completely until Christmas Day. At that point, following the approach of two Exception Days per month, I'll have two Exception Days banked and can use one for Christmas Day.
It was really hard to give up caffeine. I've tried it many, many times. I gave it up because I broke my coffee press when camping. Today, I can just resolve I need a time of detox.
5 PM: I treated myself to sushi for lunch, and that helped me to get to this point in the day without a failure. Going forward, I want 100% days of no snacks or sweets until Christmas Day. This will be a time of transition. I have thought all along that the weight loss phase of the diet should be exactly the same as the maintenance phase of the diet, and here I am with a time of more severe restriction (still without any portion control) that is an initiation phase.
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: Today is the third anniversary of my starting The No S Diet. I feel so much more in control of my eating than I did when I started the diet. Yes, I'm still obese, but I think I'd trade sanity and obesity for insanity and normal weight. I had a morning of rush-rush-rush and didn't get back home until about 1:30. My first thought was not to race to the kitchen to get something to eat because I was starving. In fact, I had to remember to eat. What a difference!
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: SUCCESS I did not have dinner until 9 PM and it didn't bother me a bit. This morning, I did not weigh myself and so did not get on the computer right away to record my weight. That felt good. Then Tom called, saying he needed his swim suit for class. I brought it down, and it was the wrong one. I told him he needs to let me know in the future if he needs a specific one. Now I am struggling to get to lunch without eat. Why? Is it because of my irritation at my son or because I have labelled this morning as a fast? I don't know.
9 PM: Unbelievable. I had an eye infection and tried the home cure route. Today I went to the doctor and got very strong antibiotics that need to be taken with food. I was to take three pills today. Since it was 12:30 and I had not yet eaten, I was bummed. Now I've eaten a lot because my stomach is not too happy with this pill. Great... Do I consider this an Exception Day and break my winning streak? I have been to the doctor on an urgent care visit exactly one other time in the past 10 years, and that was when I got a deer tick bite that produced a rash. It takes a lot to get me to the doctor, and I am totally bummed that it forced me to break my no snack and no sweet commitment. Maybe I just need to set up the expectation that I will not have snacks or sweets for a period of time, medical necessity being an exception.
Day 8 – Saturday, September 10, 2011: I decided just to continue with my plan except to add an exception for yesterday's unusual situation of having to take antibiotics at mealtime and being told explicitly at 1 PM that I should get in three doses yesterday. This situation also disrupts the fasting: I cannot fast next Friday morning. That's OK. What is clear to me is that no snacks and no sweets have become the norm. I'm used to it. I prefer it. An Exception Day is like turning on the water faucet: I just eat everything in sight until the end of day. A Normal Day is much more comfortable for me because it's like turning off and on a water faucet: I simply don't think about food between meals.
3 PM: This eye infection is making me miserable: I am tired and my eyes are so sensitive to light that I need to wear sunglasses. It did not help that I ate the rest of the Italian ice that I bought yesterday. I decided, once again, that I had bitten off more than I can chew. What I am going to try now is to have a rolling average of 2 Exception Days per month with no tracking of fasts or steps or strengthening exercises. This is exactly the same diet as I had before except that I don't also have all Sundays as Exception Days.
Day 9 – Sunday, September 11, 2011: It was not hard to get through today without sweets or snacks. The Sunday Exception Days were more or less a pressure release from the restrictions for the rest of the week, and the non-Sunday Exception Days were ways to deal with social situations in which not eating would be awkward or other times that were just plain different, like being told at 1 PM that I needed to take three doses of a medication with food. It's possible that I no longer need that pressure release on Sundays. If so, I have a shot at following this diet with perfection and can see the possibility of being able to follow it permanently. I also like the idea of dropping for now any additional goals in steps, in strengthening exercises, and in fasting. It may be that managing Exception Days is all I need for managing my weight although exercise, of course, is essential for health. I also may start weighing myself. This morning, after breakfast, I stepped on the scale, and it didn't look like the disaster I feared.
Day 10 – Monday, September 12, 2011: 203.2 Yesterday was a solemn day, of course, because of the killings of September 11. I really wonder how anyone could believe that it is holy to fly an airplane into a building and kill thousands. An editorial writer yesterday said that some people advocate "tolerance". How do you tolerate evil? Some people don't believe evil exists.
Well, the memorials are over, and we move on with daily life. I am happy that I didn't gain over a week with too many Exception Days to count. I think that being able to give up Sunday Feast Days means I'm finally over the years of "portion control" eating. My body doesn't need the binge. Time will tell, of course, but I feel as though I'm beginning a new phase of my life.
When I first started The No S Diet three years ago, I would count the hours until Saturday. In fact, I would sometimes wait up until midnight with food in hand. For months, I was really grumpy on Thursday night because I still had one more day to go until I could binge.
There no longer is the driving need to binge. I still binge on Exception Days but I no longer have the driving need for an Exception Day. I no longer look forward to days of "unconditional permission to eat." This has got to be a good sign.
If I can limit myself to two Exception Days per month to take care of social situations and other situations, then I could lose weight rather quickly. I am ever the optimist and will just have to see...
Day 11 – Tuesday, September 13, 2011: I think I'm just going to follow the observation of Aristotle: "We are what we repeatedly do" and try my best to eat moderately and exercise. Trying to figure out a diet has become harder than following a diet.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6 I realized this afternoon that my variation of The No S Diet limited the time when I could binge but did not end binge behavior. With the diet, my focus has been on the Feast Days and Exception Days. Now I am changing to an approach of intermittent fasting in which all I count or worry about are 100 Fast Days in one 12 month period. This will put the emphasis on less eating rather than more eating. I don't think a hybrid approach of meal timing and fasting will work for me because it's just too complex. I did try fasting only back in July at Many Point, but I managed to gain weight while fasting four times in seven days. Why will this time be any different? I don't know. I just think I'm ready. I think I needed to stick with meal timing for a period of time to get to this point, but now I'm ready.
Day 2 – Thursday, September 15, 2011: There's an element of sadness for me today. I just don't think a hybrid approach of intermittent fasting and meal timing will work because it will be too hard to track. I'm back to intermittent fasting. The real benefit to intermittent fasting is that I get a chance to experience what it feels like to have a stomach which isn't stuffed or recently stuffed, and --surprisingly -- it has felt pretty good.
Jobhunting is terrible. I haven't done much of it, but it totally unnerves me. I've decided to limit it to checking emails from recruiters, sending out once per week updates to a set number of recruiters, and posting my resume on some job boards. I haven't posted my resume yet because I had hoped that recruiters would come through for me. I have one good potential at this point: yesterday, the company that placed me twice last year submitted me for a position at a very prestigious company in the Twin Cities. The commute is in the opposite direction from my kids' schools, but it turns out to be only about a 20 minute drive during rush hour. I can handle that. I'm praying I get that job because Anne goes to college next yea, and we are looking to my income to help with her college costs.
My mother in law has a refrigerator magnet that reads, "Why pray when you can worry and fret?" I told her that is the one thing I would like to inherit from her. She offered to give it to me, but I declined. I do need to remember the point of that magnet: I've spent way too much time worrying, fretting, and tweaking. Now it's time to calm down, pray, and do my best.
7:30 AM: This morning, I had less than I normally would have for breakfast because I thought that I could eat before lunch if I wanted to do so. I think that The No S Diet prepared me for intermittent fasting because I had to "fast" between meals, but now I need to let intermittent fasting become the means by which I understand what amount of food feels best for my body. This must be the wisdom of the Biblical teaching that you must fast. It is not about doing something that is bad for your body. Rather, it is about learning self-discipline in governing your appetite to keep you in good health.
2 PM: I got an interview next week with a very prestigious company, and so I am excited! Meanwhile, I bought caramel macademian clusters only now they are called caramel nut clusters. I have had several. In fact, I have had enough. My body is reporting to me that I've had enough. This is great! It's not so much self-discipline that is keeping me from eating more as it is the desire to maximize pleasure. If I eat any more, the resulting discomfort in my stomach is greater than the pleasure of eating.
Tomorrow, Anne and I will travel to U W Madison to look at the school, and I am happy to be spending two whole days just with her. There is some sadness to me in sending her off, but I am glad that she has become so self-confident. She has really grown up!
Day 4 – Saturday, September 17, 2011: Despite the five hour drive to Madison, I walked more than 13,000 steps. Before one of the presentations, Anne and I ate at Subway. She ordered a footlong, and I only wanted a 6 inch sandwich. Why? I knew I could eat again before dinner if I so desired. Why should I eat now if I'm not that hungry? This is quite a switch from stuffing myself at every meal. I think that the meal timing served as a bridge from constant binge eating to moderation in eating. I'm still on antibiotics (until Sunday), so I won't fast until probably Tuesday because I have an interview on Monday. That's OK. All I have to do is fast 100 times between now and September 14 of next year. That's not difficult at all.
10 PM: I'm home now and waiting for the dryer to finish so I can iron Tom's pants for caddying. What is becoming increasingly clear to me is that my eating is a religious issue for me. It may be that everything in my life is a religious issue for me. I have read Brad Pilon's book on intermittent fasting, and there certainly is no indication in his book that intermittent fasting is religious in nature. For me, it is. I've keep on bumping into this tie between my faith and my eating, and I think I need to just face it head on.
Why? What is going on here? I think that fasting has an impact that is well beyond a method for restricting calories that seems more extreme than the more common approach of "portion control". I am going to list words that I associate with intermittent fasting:
1. Self-discipline: As with portion control, fasting requires self-discipline.
2. Self-respect: Unlike with portion control, fasting involves self-respect since I allow myself to eat what I want when I do eat.
3. Humility: Why humility? I'm not sure I know -- yet. It may have to do with recognizing my dependence on food as I experience changes in my body during the hours that I do not eat.
4. Gratitude: I have more appreciation for food after a fast.
5. Calmness: I recognize that I can function just fine without food for 24 hours. I don't need to worry if a meal is delayed.
6. Light: I feel light as a fast is ending.
7. Break: Fasting feels like taking a break. My digestive system has a vacation.
8. Rhythm: There is a rhythm of fasting days and non-fasting days.
9. Beauty: There is something beautiful about this way of life. What it is I don't yet know.
As I look over these words, the one that stands out is gratitude, and maybe that is why there is an underlying religious theme for me with fasting. I have a keener sense of gratitude for what I do have when I take breaks from having something as essential as food. There is no more grasping for as much as I can eat.
Day 5 – Sunday, September 18, 2011: I just finished dinner, and I think I'm going to fast until dinner tomorrow night even though I have an interview tomorrow. I just finished those awful red antibiotic pills, and I almost crave being able to fast. What I have noticed is that my body seems to desire more and more food, so fasting is a way to reduce the desire.
Fast Days
Starting Number of Fast Days (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 0 (this past week's number of Fast Days) = 0
Knee Exercise
Starting Number of Knee Exercises (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover) + 1 (this past week's number of Knee Exercises) = 1
Strengthening Exercises
Starting Number of Strengthening Exercises (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover) + 2 (this past week's number of Strengthening Exercises) = 0
Steps
Starting Number of Steps (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 29,725 (this past week's number of steps)
- 30,000 (expected number of steps for this week)
= -375.
Day 6 – Monday, September 19, 2011: The antibiotics are done, and I feel great being on a fast! My only concern is if my stomach growls during the interview, but the interview is over at 12:30 so it shouldn't be much of a problem. What makes it feel so good to fast? I don't know that I know. My stomach is emptying, and I can feel it. I have become sensitive to the energy freed up when my stomach is not digesting food. This is very strange to write because I have lived most of my life under the assumption that I need to eat to be energized. I remember well taking standardized tests for college and grad school and loading up on coffee and Snickers bars. Now, today, I am preparing for an important job interview by fasting. This isn't about catching up because I couldn't fast for ten days. Instead, it is 100% about doing what will make my interview the best it can be.
2:30 PM: I'm having no problem not eating, but I'm sad: the interviewer wants someone who can be extended into the summer, and that's not me. Maybe something can come of it, but maybe nothing will. I should not work in the summer. The kids need me. I need the break.
8 PM: I am stuffed, absolutely stuffed. Do I care? Nope. My theory is that fasting results in less eating but that change is not instantaneous. I think what I would like to do is just stick with the program I have and let time pass. I don't need to be thinking about it all the time. Instead, I need to give it time and see what happens. Right now, there is a big contrast between how my stomach felt two hours ago (before ending the 24 hour fast) and right now. It is clear that right now feels worse.
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011: Last night, I read this in Proverbs, chapter 13:25: "When the just man eats his hunger is appeased; but the belly of the wicked suffers want." Oh, I know how it feels for my belly to always feel want, but what makes a man just?
Last night, Tom picked up Anne from her class at the university, and he said she started eating a cookie the second she got in the car. I told him I had brought her to buy dinner just before class because she had to wait for Katie to finish swim team, and she bought the cookie then. He said what upset him was how she wolfed down that cookie and he had even asked her if she had had dinner. I then asked Tom if he knew why I started this journal in January of 2004, and then I told him it was because I had observed Anne rush home from school and head straight for the kitchen. It really saddened me to hear Tom describe how Anne ate that cookie, but I know, I know... She got it from me. The No S Diet limited when I ate like that, but it did not eliminate the behavior. Now I am on a different path with intermittent fasting and we'll see, we'll see... Anne will be out of the house, at college next year. She has to fight her own battle with weight. The best I think I can do for her is to win my own battle. I am hopeful with this approach because I simply was not bothered yesterday when I did not eat even though I went through an interview.
1:15 PM: My stomach hurts. I don't think I can eat as much on the day after a fast. Tomorrow is another fast. Friday I will try to fast. If I continue this, am I going to eat less to avoid a stomach ache? Yes, I think so. I have "unconditional permission to eat" right now, but adding to a stomach ache does not seem all that attractive an option.
9:30 PM: I am now on a Fast, and I am happy about that. At dinner, I told Tom that I was starting a new diet, and he asked Anne if she had ever remembered me thin. I told him this approach was Biblical, and he just chuckled. That's OK. I need to contain my enthusiasm and just wait and see.
Meanwhile, the recruiter got back to me and said I am the leading candidate for the job for which I interviewed yesterday. It would be such a blast to work there! I was told that the plan is for them to interview one or two more candidates, so I just need to wait and see.
"Patience is a virtue."
My weight has been remarkably stable, but what has changed is very, very significant: I no longer have the driving need to eat instantly and eat as much as I can; I no longer feel much hunger; I no longer think about food constantly.
Tom may scoff at my reference to this being a Biblical diet, but I think there is truth to it. I think that there is wisdom in fasting that has been completely lost because it seems so radical. Well, it's easy, and it's simple, and I still get to have whatever I want and as much as I want when I'm not fasting. The self-control outside of fasts actually comes from my body which cannot manage a shift to a lot of food after fasting.
The dog is used to my taking her for a walk after I use the bathroom. Well, today, I used the bathroom a lot more than usual. My stomach really hurt. After I break my fast tomorrow, am I going to eat as much as I did today? I might, but if I continue fasting I sure won't. Besides, if I'm working, I need to be in condition to work and not be feeling awful because I ate too much.
There is a phrase called "natural law", and I think that fasting may be part of "natural law." It may be that elusive path out of obesity that I have sought since Anne was in fourth grade and rushed home from school to eat as soon as she could. I've been looking so many years for this path that it is hard to believe that I finally found it.
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011: Today is another Fast Day, and I met a friend at Einstein's. She had a bagel, and I had tea. There was no problem with enjoying our conversation because I was having tea only. Now I am back home, and the dog wants a walk.
I will take her because I am behind on my steps, but I also think I need to simplify my tracking system and have all the tracking for one month as follows:
Fast Days
Starting Number of Fast Days (prior to this month) = 0 (carryover)
+ 0 (September 11 - 17) = 0
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 3
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Knee Exercise
Starting Number of Knee Exercises (prior to this month) = 0 (carryover)
+ 1 (September 11 - 17) = 1
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 4
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Strengthening Exercises
Starting Number of Strengthening Exercises (prior to this month)
= 0 (carryover)
+ 2 (September 11 - 17) = 2
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 5
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Steps
Starting Number of Steps (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 29,725 (September 11 - 17)
- 30,000 (expected number of steps September 11 - 17)
= -375
+ 58,659 (September 18 - 24)
- 60,000 (expected number of steps September 18 - 24)
= -1,696
+ TBD (September 25 - 30)
- 50,000 (expected number of steps September 25 - 30)
= -TBD
12:44 PM: The dog is begging for another walk, but I need to wait for the furnace maintenance guy. I'm trying to get as much routine maintenance out of the way as possible. In the meantime, I'm having a somewhat boring afternoon as I scrape wallpaper glue and count the hours until I can eat. I was submitted for a very short-term position, so we will see how that goes. It is hard to be home and want to eat to avoid work, but I don't have that option today. I went in my daughter's closet and tried on her blue jeans and was relieved that I could not get them up to my hips. She is really, really fat, but at least she is not as fat as I am. My motivation to continue on this diet is almost entirely to show her a path. I'm not sure I would have sufficient motivation if it were not for her because there are just too many arguments against intermittent fasting and they are sounding in my ear today: low blood sugar, grumpiness, possibility of fainting, etc. This litany of excuses does not seem to be true for me, but it sure sounds good as I think about the Italian ice I bought yesterday. This, too, shall pass. I took a break writing instead of eating and now need to get back to work...
7:30 PM: Made it. 2 Fasts done. 98 to go before September 14 of nest year.
Day 9 – Thursday, September 22, 2011: I was tempted to weigh myself this morning but decided against it. I don't think that immediate weight loss is likely with this diet. Instead, it is the fasting that will decrease my appetite over time. I need to give this diet time.
There does seem to be very much of a religious element to this diet, but I cannot seem to put my finger on what exactly is the religious element. Is it respecting my body by eating what I want when I do eat? Is it the self-discipline of fasting? Is it the feeling of freedom that comes of knowing I can go a whole day without eating and feel fine?
I think the Greek Orthodox may have the greatest understanding of the benefits of fasting, and I read their writings online and am just baffled. It may be as difficult to understand the benefits of fasting without fasting as it is to understand the feeling of being in love without ever having been in love. I need to just do it and see, but I think that the benefit of fasting may be far greater in a non-physical way than it is in a physical way. It's just too early for me to tell what the benefits are, and it may be that I can never fully put the benefits in words.
One practical benefit of going all day without eating is that you save time by not preparing a meal, eating it, and cleaning it up.
2 PM: I just got home from lunch with another contractor who is such a delight -- very, very intelligent and with a great sense of humor. It was nice to enjoy lunch without having to worry about having one plateful or any rules at all. After that, I went to Costco and bought a pre-made dinner because Tommy is giving his Eagle presentation tonight and I don't want to fuss with dinner. I also bought chocolate covered caramels and had several.
It occurred to me when I woke up about midnight that this plan that I have of 100 Fasts in one year is very close to the traditional fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays. I think what I am going to do to simplify it even more is to try to fast on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays unless there are social reasons not to fast. There will be plenty of social reasons, probably, but it seems that I can adjust my schedule to avoid many of them or just have tea like I did yesterday morning. All I really need to do is avoid lunches out on those days.
We'll see. God, I hate jobhunting and am not overly optimistic that this job will come through, but trying to find a job is a heck of a lot hard than having and doing a job.
Day 10 – Friday, September 23, 2011: I am on my third day of fasting this week, and my tummy is already in revolt at 8:38 AM. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the Dairy Queen blizzard I had yesterday afternoon. I think that the secret to fasting is that your body simply cannot tolerate a big shift in caloric consumption. As a result, the fasting results in less desire to eat when I am eating.
I have somewhere a very interesting book called Anti-Cancer, and it discusses how inflammation is what causes cancer. In trying to put together pieces of the puzzle, I believe that fasting dramatically reduces inflammation: when there is no food, the body pulls back from inflammation activities to more essential functions. I think fasting may be very good for a person's body, and we have been fed a lot of bunk from the scientific community about how bad it is to fast.
If there was anyone fighting from her weakness, it is me arguing anything scientific. The funny thing about this is that, if I won the lottery and was independently wealthy, I would spend my time investigating exactly this.
As it is, I have a "meet and greet" with a recruiter this morning at 10 and need to take the dog for a walk. I may track down that book and try to flesh out the idea. Also, I think I am going to get a book from the library again that was recommended to me previously. It is called something like Super Fat to Super Fit. The author lost a lot of weight by eating only every other day. His approach was more severe than mine in that he did not eat for 36 hours, from one dinner to breakfast two days later.
Day 11 – Saturday, September 24, 2011: It is only 8:20 AM, and I have hit a wall with regard to chocolate covered caramels: no more! I then had tea, a nectarine and cereal. I feel heavy. It may be that one benefit of fasting is that I will desire lighter foods like fruit and vegetables, or it may be that my body is temporarily rebelling against the ingestion of too much chocolate-covered caramel.
Here is is only 8:20 AM, and I know I won't feel great for at least several hours. Here is the secret to the benefit of fasting: I experience lightness and prefer it. I am in transition now but see where this is headed. Am I tempted to have any more of those caramels? Absolutely not. The temporary benefit of eating them is outweighed by the temporary discomfort of having them sit in my stomach. The benefit lasts minutes; the discomfort lasts hours. I think this is going to work.
1 PM: I have continued to shovel food in my mouth. This reminds me of what I had concluded is the real lesson of dieting: "Eat everything you are allowed to eat." It's really disgusting how much I have eaten and yet I continue to eat. I wonder if there is a shortcut way to get to the point that I don't want to eat. Maybe I can allow my brain to look at food and tell myself that it is not going to feel good today if I eat too much. This isn't about losing weight. This is about feeling good today. Maybe that's what needs to be the focus. With dieting, the idea is that you feel miserable now but feel better tomorrow because you are thinner. With my approach, the goal is to feel my best now. How much do I eat now to feel my best now? One more caramel is a negative, not a positive. I need a motto, and I've been toying with a phrase like "Light feels better." There is an optimal amount to eat to maximize feeling my best, and I have no idea how much that is because I've followed the dieter's rule to eat what I'm allowed to eat.
Who knows? I found out Monday or Tuesday on the job for which I interviewed last week. It would be a terrific job and a lot of fun, so we'll see... I'll get something at some point, but sooner would be better than later because we have to start with college expenses next year and my income is dedicated to that.
1:30 PM: I just shoved three caramels in my mouth, and it occurred to me that the motto for me is "Light feels best." The question for this motto is this: "What is light?" Well, for sure, feeling caramels in your stomach is not light. What is very surprising about this revelation is I used to feel miserable (starving!) if I could not feel food in my stomach (stuffed). This is a mind game. What I need to realize is that what feels best is light, and I need to come up with a solid definition of light.
For starters, light means you cannot feel food in your stomach.
4:15 PM: I have my motto: "Light tastes best." I recall, somewhere, I read that a person's motto was "Thin tastes better." This person was thinking along the lines of something else I've read, which is "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Well, I am going down an entirely different path. When I am not hungry, food doesn't taste as good. When I'm really stuffed, it can taste like cardboard. How good a food tastes is an indication of how hungry I am. My focus is on the cost/benefit of eating now, and eating less needs to be better now than eating more. The focus on taste is the way to tell. Later, the stomach is impacted.
6:30 PM: No motto. I follow the behavior and don't worry about thoughts or mottos or anything else. I am now stuffed with caramels and the dog is barking at me because I haven't walked her very much. Stupid detour...
Day 12 – Sunday, September 25, 2011: I am really, really stuffed and suspect that I am gaining weight. That's the bad news. The good news is that I am getting disgusted. This morning, I remembered that people who were fat were viewed as lazy and sloppy. As I sat on the couch, thinking I just wanted to go back to bed, I realized that my body needs lots of energy to digest all that food. Overeating does result in lethargy. I also think there may be a relationship between sloppiness and overeating, but I don't yet see the relationship. I do struggle with organization.
10 PM: I'm a little behind in terms of steps for the week, but I fasted three times and did my strengthening exercises. Tomorrow is a Fast, and I have nothing on my calendar. I'm going to be painting the kitchen now that I got off all the wallpaper.
Day 13 – Monday, September 26, 2011: I still feel terrible from all the food in my digestive system, so I'm glad today is a Fast Day. How could I have switched from feeling starved if I'm not stuffed (which means eating several times per day) to wanting to fast? I think fasting sets up a contrast between overeating and not eating, and not eating turns out to be more the more pleasant state of my body. The problem I have at the moment is that I have not settled into moderate eating. If I continue, I think I will, but that is just a hypothesis. For a time, I had the hypothesis that having fat in milk would result in my wanting to eat less, and I tried that hypothesis out for a long time with no results. I think this test will last a shorter amount of time because I really do not feel great at the moment, and it's clear to me that the reason why is too much food.
11 AM: I should hear today or tomorrow on that job, and the wait is really bothering me. I think I need to take the tactic I did last year of not jobhunting and waiting for jobs to come to me. I become totally disorganized and distressed trying to be proactive, but I've already done what I need to do to get a job and now it is a matter of waiting.
This sounds like dieting. Too much effort can be counterproductive. The time I have spent on tweaking could have been spent exercising. The dog wants a second walk, so I'm out the door.
Fasting? Not a problem at all. There are stages to fasting, and right now my stomach is starting to empty and it feels good.
7 PM: I have got to be gaining weight. Today, I broke my fast at about 1:30 PM and just continued eating. Yes, I'm nervous about the job, which has not yet come through but is looking less likely, but I'm also just not doing well. The fasting is not resulting in moderate eating. I think I am going to ramp up very slowly. I think I'll skip one breakfast this week (this morning's breakfast) and then just skip two breakfasts per week next month. I do want to continue the exercises as I've got stated.
This is so hard...
Day 14 – Tuesday, September 27, 2011: 205.8 This has been yet another spectacular diet. I do think that part of it has been the overeating from stress of jobhunting. My husband is doing well. We don't rely on my income. I decided to just take a break from jobhunting and let the recruiters come to me. I still have not yet heard on the one job but it is looking less likely. Too bad. It would have been a great fit for me.
Now what? I think I am returning to my Novena Diet. With that diet, I counted 1,000 calories for 9 days and then maintained that weight for a month before going on to repeat the Novena Diet and lose more weight. That kept me of normal weight for many years, but it didn't work so well when I was pregnant. Well, I'm not going to be pregnant again.
I think I will modify the diet and just look at eating less rather than more during the diet. I won't write or weigh myself, either. This is more a time of contemplation.
Why didn't fasting work? I think it led to binge eating. The big problem I have is binge eating. With The Novena Diet, there may well be binge eating after the diet ends, but we'll see how it goes. For nine days, I'm just going to concentrate on eating less rather than more.
1:30 PM: I didn't get the job and am bummed. That's the way it is. I am trying to have more moderate meals.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 Once again, I have gone down a bad path. I think that my use of fasting is premature and the fact that I am engaging in binge behavior means that I am not ready for fasting. What to do? I was up last night thinking I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life if I don't change.
I thought back to when my Novena Diet approach collapsed, and oh I remember the week. That week contained the worst day of my life -- January 3, 2002. I weighed about 155 then and was still working on the pregnancy weight from my youngest child who was born the prior February. By September of 2002, I crossed over to 180. By April of 2004, I crossed over to 200.
Any attempt at self-discipline simply collapsed.
Now I look back and think that that diet approach, while not in any way natural or ideal, did result in my having a reasonable weight. Should I return to it?
Yes, I think I should. The idea was that I would have intermittent restricted eating resulting in weight loss followed by an entire month of no restrictions except daily weighing myself and staying under 5 pounds above the end weight of the restricted eating period.
A novena is a 9 day prayer, and I would restrict myself to 1000 calories per day for those nine days.
Now I think what I will try is to try to have only 300 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 700 for dinner. The calories would be estimates and not measured amounts. For example, this morning I had a small apple and a bowl of Cheerios.
I'll continue this until I weigh 195 and then take the entire next month to stay under 200 pounds.
This diet approach requires constant weight monitoring, but I am so sick of being fat that I cannot stand it.
Tom has told me that his mother has moaned about her weight ever since he can remember. She is now 86 and still moaning about her weight and her two daughters' weight. Am I following in her footsteps? Yes, I am.
How did I get here? Well, I can think long and hard about that question, but why bother? Do I want to discipline myself enough to lose weight? That is the real question. The answer for today is yes.
9 AM: I quoted the Bible: "Govern your appetite." I then added my own "no portion control" approach. Sometimes people filter out the facts to suit their own opinions, and I think I've done just that. The No S Diet does teach portion control, but I just could not stand the idea of one plateful at meals. I think that was my undoing. As I think about my Novena Diet approach of intermittent restricted eating, I think of the pain it was to decide when to go on the diet and when not to go on the diet. I am starting to think that my best approach might be to return to The No S Diet only this time add the restriction of one plateful. How I have avoided that!
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6 (This month's goal is 179.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 24.6 pounds.)
My diet is based on the hypothesis that people get hungry in anticipation of having food, just like Pavlov's dogs salivated when a bell was rung because a bell indicated food was on its way. My hypothesis is that hunger increases with consistency of eating times and hunger decreases if eating times are less consistent. In my diet, I decrease consistency of eating by fasting intermittently.
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at "fasting" between meals were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
I love this observation from The Alternate Day Diet, page 23: "No diet will work without a plan that overcomes our inclination to eat whenever and whatever food is available." What is my plan? It is take to heart the words from Sirach: "Govern your appetite."
For my diet, I follow the simple yet profound philosophy of Aristotle: "We are what we repeatedly do." I am learning to eat lightly by fasting 100 times in a 12- month period. A Fast is a period of time without any calories. It is any 24 hour period or the period of time from one dinner to the next night's dinner or the period of time from one dinner to 6 PM the next night. I cannot fast more than three times in a week, and I need a 24-hour gap between fasts. To make this diet as simple as possible, I try to fast only from Sunday dinner to Monday dinner, from Tuesday dinner to Wednesday dinner, and from Thursday dinner to Friday dinner.
In addition, I take care of my body by using a pedometer and walking 10,000 steps per day Monday through Friday. I also do the strengthening exercise program from the book Strong Women Stay Thin. In one 12 month period, I will do that program 150 times. My body is so weak that I am starting with 2-pound weights. Finally, I suspect knee pain is in my future because I have had a few incidents of knee pain in the past year. I will do the isometric quadriceps exercise found int he book Treat Your Own Knees.
We only have today. All we ever have is this moment. I have spent way too much time focused on the "big picture" of balancing out binge days with other days, and The No S Diet helped me for sure to not be binge-eating all the time. Now I need to govern my appetite by learning that I can eat lightly or even not at all for a time and still function just fine. The big lesson of fasting is this: I feel better if I eat less.
Almost all diets today are based on a "portion control" approach which limits food intake by using an external measure of calories or carbs or types of food. I suspect that a "portion control" approach to dieting may be the reason for the obesity epidemic because the lesson of "portion control" is this: I feel worse if I eat less.
Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet? I managed 10 years of weight management with an intermittent "portion control" approach, and one day I just couldn't do it anymore.
Now what? Now I am following an intermittent fasting approach. And why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point†refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I love the place so much that it is the picture on my cell phone. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp in July. My daughter Ellie took a “Before†picture of me while we were there at Family Camp, which is designed for siblings of Scouts and Moms to stay while their sons and husbands are “Scout sideâ€. My beloved Anne was a camp counselor there from June 15 to August 22, and my daughter Katie also will be a camp counselor there someday.
This summer, I missed Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her fourth grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created man with the need to use constant "portion control". I simply cannot believe that God created us to torture us, and that's why I set out years ago to figure out a diet which didn't require "portion control". That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. When I am tempted to consider a "portion control" approach to dieting, I can think of the beauty I witnessed that night, and I can stay patient with this diet.
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh.
Weights:
Thursday, September 1, 2011: 204.8
Friday, September 2, 2011: 201.2
Day 1 – Saturday, September 3, 2011: 202.0: Exception Day (1)
Day 2 – Sunday, September 4, 2011: 203.6: Exception Day (0)
Day 3 – Monday, September 5, 2011: Exception Day (-1)
Day 4 – Tuesday, September 6, 2011: Exception Day (-2)
Day 5 – Wednesday, September 7, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 7 – Friday, September 9, 2011: Medical Exception Day (-3)
Day 8 – Saturday, September 10, 2011: Exception Day (2)
Day 9 – Sunday, September 11, 2011:
Day 10 – Monday, September 12, 2011: 203.2
Day 11 – Tuesday, September 13, 2011: 204.6
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6
Day 2 – Thursday, September 15, 2011:
Day 3 – Friday, September 16, 2011:
Day 4 – Saturday, September 17, 2011:
Day 5 – Sunday, September 18, 2011:
Day 6 – Monday, September 19, 2011:
Day 7 – Tuesday, September 20, 2011:
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011:
Day 9 – Thursday, September 22, 2011:
Day 10 – Friday, September 23, 2011:
Day 11 – Saturday, September 24, 2011:
Day 12 – Sunday, September 25, 2011:
Day 13 – Monday, September 26, 2011:
Day 14 – Tuesday, September 27, 2011: 205.8
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011:
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Journal:
Thursday, September 1, 2011: 204.8 Today is my husband's birthday and a fitting day for me to restart this diet. The kids return to school on Tuesday, and I don't yet have a job. I will have time to adjust to fasting just like I had time to adjust to meal timing three years ago.
Am I disappointed by how little weight I have lost in the three years since I started The No S Diet? Yes, of course I am. Am I disappointed that I went down this path? No. Not at all. I have spent years and years both obese and feeling like I'm starving all the time. Now I just am obese.
I'm taking a plunge in approach to fasting just like I did to meal timing three years ago. Tomorrow is a Friday, and I'm fasting tomorrow. We were supposed to be leaving for a last camping trip in the Boundary Waters, but Katie is sick. If she hasn't recovered by tomorrow, we won't go.
I am going to track my weight. It is too easy to fool myself that I am doing well when I don't track my weight. If I tried to adjust slowly to fasting, I think I'd end up heavier. It's just plain time to follow the diet.
I had not expected weight gain with last month's diet, but now I know that Exception Days need to be limited. This diet places the exact same limit on Exception Days that I had when I started the meal timing approach three years ago, so the only changes from the diet of three years ago are that I now have only one Feast Day per week (this change was made in about May of 2009) and I am adding fasting.
Friday, September 2, 2011: 201.2 I cancelled our camping reservation, and I then I also got sick yesterday. Now Tom has the day off, and we aren't going to Ely. I feel bad, but maybe it is for the best. I will still fast today, which will be easy because I don't feel like eating anything. Going forward, I think I'll just keep a journal once per week. I have Anne to take to colleges, and the client I had in April and May asked about having me back. I should get a job fairly easily, and I'm just not prepared on the home front to return to full time work for any length of time. I need to be more efficient and cut out what I do that is not absolutely essential. Writing has become something of a bad habit. I know what I need to do, but now I need to do it. Fasting is the path out of obesity. So many different religions have fasting as an essential part of the practice of their faith that it amazes me how long it took for me to figure this out.
7 PM: A quiet failure. I started eating at 4:30 PM despite not having felt well since yesterday afternoon and not having dinner. Now I'm stuffed. I'm changing the diet and giving up both counting and perfection.
Day 1 – Saturday, September 3, 2011: 202.0 I gave up trying to have a diet that I follow with perfection. My willingness to do strengthening exercises has been poor. On Wednesday and Friday, I did them, admittedly while watching a math DVD with my two younger daughters, but at least I did them. The reason why I did them, I think, is I decided I would only do them on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If I didn't do them on those days, then I had no way to make up for doing them. There's no pushing the exercises from one day to the next. This seems to have motivated me, so I'm trying the same thing with fasting and taking exceptions from Normal Days. There's no counting at all. Each day, I have what I am supposed to do, and I either do it or I don't. Today, for example, is a Normal Day, and I should walk 10,000 steps.
5 PM: At Costco, I gave in and made a lunch of the "taste tests". Then it occurred to me that having "taste tests" at Costco was not making me fat. What was? I am back to thinking that fasting is the way to be thin, and I decided to restart today with a diet that has just one objective: to fast twice per week. I won't even adjust the schedule of fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays for social reasons. If I need to break my fast for social reasons, that's perfectly OK.
Day 2 – Sunday, September 4, 2011: 203.6 I am just plain stuffed today, having purchased chocolate covered caramels at Costco and eaten about half of them. Total calories: approximately 2,400. I ate more than caramels today and in fact ate much of the day except when we went to the King Tut exhibit at the Science Museum.
Now what? Now I have the answer to the question I posed to myself yesterday: What is the difference between a Feast Day and a Normal Day? I think that, on Sundays, feasting means allowing myself whatever I want even if it isn't within reason. On Normal Days, I err on the side of not eating rather than eating.
I'm gong to try this for a week and see what I weigh next Sunday.
Day 3 – Monday, September 5, 2011: After two days of binge behavior, there is no way I am weighing myself tomorrow morning, so I'm changing the diet without renumbering the days. I am going back to a meal timing approach but eliminating Sundays as days of "unconditional permission to eat." Over a long period of time, I have lost the need for them. I just flip a switch and go into gorge mode. Now I think I can do without that behavior and just allow binge behavior on two days per month for social reasons.
Day 4 – Tuesday, September 6, 2011: That meal last night was incredibly disgusting, now that my stomach has gotten acquainted with it. I woke up about 2 and went to the couch where I slept fitfully the rest of the night. I like the idea of having two Exception Days per month. It is Day 4 of this diet, and I've had 3. That puts me at -1 for Exception Days. I hope I am cured of overeating from being up in the night thinking I would get sick from that slathering of cheese and refried beans. Why did I eat it all?
Today is the first day of school, and I am up before everyone else because of that awful meal. We have a mad scramble this morning because Katie needs to get in early because she missed Open House. God, what a fool I've been! As I look back now, I see that it's the number of Exception Days/Feast Days that have been holding me back.
Day 5 – Wednesday, September 7, 2011: After four straight Exception Days, I'd restart tomorrow on the 3rd anniversary of starting The No S Diet except that would mean I would have to weigh myself and I'm not doing that! This reminds me of my start to The No S Diet: four straight days of failure before I had one successful day.
I think I need to go cold turkey on snacks and sweets. I think I'm giving them both up completely until Christmas Day. At that point, following the approach of two Exception Days per month, I'll have two Exception Days banked and can use one for Christmas Day.
It was really hard to give up caffeine. I've tried it many, many times. I gave it up because I broke my coffee press when camping. Today, I can just resolve I need a time of detox.
5 PM: I treated myself to sushi for lunch, and that helped me to get to this point in the day without a failure. Going forward, I want 100% days of no snacks or sweets until Christmas Day. This will be a time of transition. I have thought all along that the weight loss phase of the diet should be exactly the same as the maintenance phase of the diet, and here I am with a time of more severe restriction (still without any portion control) that is an initiation phase.
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: Today is the third anniversary of my starting The No S Diet. I feel so much more in control of my eating than I did when I started the diet. Yes, I'm still obese, but I think I'd trade sanity and obesity for insanity and normal weight. I had a morning of rush-rush-rush and didn't get back home until about 1:30. My first thought was not to race to the kitchen to get something to eat because I was starving. In fact, I had to remember to eat. What a difference!
Day 6 – Thursday, September 8, 2011: SUCCESS I did not have dinner until 9 PM and it didn't bother me a bit. This morning, I did not weigh myself and so did not get on the computer right away to record my weight. That felt good. Then Tom called, saying he needed his swim suit for class. I brought it down, and it was the wrong one. I told him he needs to let me know in the future if he needs a specific one. Now I am struggling to get to lunch without eat. Why? Is it because of my irritation at my son or because I have labelled this morning as a fast? I don't know.
9 PM: Unbelievable. I had an eye infection and tried the home cure route. Today I went to the doctor and got very strong antibiotics that need to be taken with food. I was to take three pills today. Since it was 12:30 and I had not yet eaten, I was bummed. Now I've eaten a lot because my stomach is not too happy with this pill. Great... Do I consider this an Exception Day and break my winning streak? I have been to the doctor on an urgent care visit exactly one other time in the past 10 years, and that was when I got a deer tick bite that produced a rash. It takes a lot to get me to the doctor, and I am totally bummed that it forced me to break my no snack and no sweet commitment. Maybe I just need to set up the expectation that I will not have snacks or sweets for a period of time, medical necessity being an exception.
Day 8 – Saturday, September 10, 2011: I decided just to continue with my plan except to add an exception for yesterday's unusual situation of having to take antibiotics at mealtime and being told explicitly at 1 PM that I should get in three doses yesterday. This situation also disrupts the fasting: I cannot fast next Friday morning. That's OK. What is clear to me is that no snacks and no sweets have become the norm. I'm used to it. I prefer it. An Exception Day is like turning on the water faucet: I just eat everything in sight until the end of day. A Normal Day is much more comfortable for me because it's like turning off and on a water faucet: I simply don't think about food between meals.
3 PM: This eye infection is making me miserable: I am tired and my eyes are so sensitive to light that I need to wear sunglasses. It did not help that I ate the rest of the Italian ice that I bought yesterday. I decided, once again, that I had bitten off more than I can chew. What I am going to try now is to have a rolling average of 2 Exception Days per month with no tracking of fasts or steps or strengthening exercises. This is exactly the same diet as I had before except that I don't also have all Sundays as Exception Days.
Day 9 – Sunday, September 11, 2011: It was not hard to get through today without sweets or snacks. The Sunday Exception Days were more or less a pressure release from the restrictions for the rest of the week, and the non-Sunday Exception Days were ways to deal with social situations in which not eating would be awkward or other times that were just plain different, like being told at 1 PM that I needed to take three doses of a medication with food. It's possible that I no longer need that pressure release on Sundays. If so, I have a shot at following this diet with perfection and can see the possibility of being able to follow it permanently. I also like the idea of dropping for now any additional goals in steps, in strengthening exercises, and in fasting. It may be that managing Exception Days is all I need for managing my weight although exercise, of course, is essential for health. I also may start weighing myself. This morning, after breakfast, I stepped on the scale, and it didn't look like the disaster I feared.
Day 10 – Monday, September 12, 2011: 203.2 Yesterday was a solemn day, of course, because of the killings of September 11. I really wonder how anyone could believe that it is holy to fly an airplane into a building and kill thousands. An editorial writer yesterday said that some people advocate "tolerance". How do you tolerate evil? Some people don't believe evil exists.
Well, the memorials are over, and we move on with daily life. I am happy that I didn't gain over a week with too many Exception Days to count. I think that being able to give up Sunday Feast Days means I'm finally over the years of "portion control" eating. My body doesn't need the binge. Time will tell, of course, but I feel as though I'm beginning a new phase of my life.
When I first started The No S Diet three years ago, I would count the hours until Saturday. In fact, I would sometimes wait up until midnight with food in hand. For months, I was really grumpy on Thursday night because I still had one more day to go until I could binge.
There no longer is the driving need to binge. I still binge on Exception Days but I no longer have the driving need for an Exception Day. I no longer look forward to days of "unconditional permission to eat." This has got to be a good sign.
If I can limit myself to two Exception Days per month to take care of social situations and other situations, then I could lose weight rather quickly. I am ever the optimist and will just have to see...
Day 11 – Tuesday, September 13, 2011: I think I'm just going to follow the observation of Aristotle: "We are what we repeatedly do" and try my best to eat moderately and exercise. Trying to figure out a diet has become harder than following a diet.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 14, 2011: 203.6 I realized this afternoon that my variation of The No S Diet limited the time when I could binge but did not end binge behavior. With the diet, my focus has been on the Feast Days and Exception Days. Now I am changing to an approach of intermittent fasting in which all I count or worry about are 100 Fast Days in one 12 month period. This will put the emphasis on less eating rather than more eating. I don't think a hybrid approach of meal timing and fasting will work for me because it's just too complex. I did try fasting only back in July at Many Point, but I managed to gain weight while fasting four times in seven days. Why will this time be any different? I don't know. I just think I'm ready. I think I needed to stick with meal timing for a period of time to get to this point, but now I'm ready.
Day 2 – Thursday, September 15, 2011: There's an element of sadness for me today. I just don't think a hybrid approach of intermittent fasting and meal timing will work because it will be too hard to track. I'm back to intermittent fasting. The real benefit to intermittent fasting is that I get a chance to experience what it feels like to have a stomach which isn't stuffed or recently stuffed, and --surprisingly -- it has felt pretty good.
Jobhunting is terrible. I haven't done much of it, but it totally unnerves me. I've decided to limit it to checking emails from recruiters, sending out once per week updates to a set number of recruiters, and posting my resume on some job boards. I haven't posted my resume yet because I had hoped that recruiters would come through for me. I have one good potential at this point: yesterday, the company that placed me twice last year submitted me for a position at a very prestigious company in the Twin Cities. The commute is in the opposite direction from my kids' schools, but it turns out to be only about a 20 minute drive during rush hour. I can handle that. I'm praying I get that job because Anne goes to college next yea, and we are looking to my income to help with her college costs.
My mother in law has a refrigerator magnet that reads, "Why pray when you can worry and fret?" I told her that is the one thing I would like to inherit from her. She offered to give it to me, but I declined. I do need to remember the point of that magnet: I've spent way too much time worrying, fretting, and tweaking. Now it's time to calm down, pray, and do my best.
7:30 AM: This morning, I had less than I normally would have for breakfast because I thought that I could eat before lunch if I wanted to do so. I think that The No S Diet prepared me for intermittent fasting because I had to "fast" between meals, but now I need to let intermittent fasting become the means by which I understand what amount of food feels best for my body. This must be the wisdom of the Biblical teaching that you must fast. It is not about doing something that is bad for your body. Rather, it is about learning self-discipline in governing your appetite to keep you in good health.
2 PM: I got an interview next week with a very prestigious company, and so I am excited! Meanwhile, I bought caramel macademian clusters only now they are called caramel nut clusters. I have had several. In fact, I have had enough. My body is reporting to me that I've had enough. This is great! It's not so much self-discipline that is keeping me from eating more as it is the desire to maximize pleasure. If I eat any more, the resulting discomfort in my stomach is greater than the pleasure of eating.
Tomorrow, Anne and I will travel to U W Madison to look at the school, and I am happy to be spending two whole days just with her. There is some sadness to me in sending her off, but I am glad that she has become so self-confident. She has really grown up!
Day 4 – Saturday, September 17, 2011: Despite the five hour drive to Madison, I walked more than 13,000 steps. Before one of the presentations, Anne and I ate at Subway. She ordered a footlong, and I only wanted a 6 inch sandwich. Why? I knew I could eat again before dinner if I so desired. Why should I eat now if I'm not that hungry? This is quite a switch from stuffing myself at every meal. I think that the meal timing served as a bridge from constant binge eating to moderation in eating. I'm still on antibiotics (until Sunday), so I won't fast until probably Tuesday because I have an interview on Monday. That's OK. All I have to do is fast 100 times between now and September 14 of next year. That's not difficult at all.
10 PM: I'm home now and waiting for the dryer to finish so I can iron Tom's pants for caddying. What is becoming increasingly clear to me is that my eating is a religious issue for me. It may be that everything in my life is a religious issue for me. I have read Brad Pilon's book on intermittent fasting, and there certainly is no indication in his book that intermittent fasting is religious in nature. For me, it is. I've keep on bumping into this tie between my faith and my eating, and I think I need to just face it head on.
Why? What is going on here? I think that fasting has an impact that is well beyond a method for restricting calories that seems more extreme than the more common approach of "portion control". I am going to list words that I associate with intermittent fasting:
1. Self-discipline: As with portion control, fasting requires self-discipline.
2. Self-respect: Unlike with portion control, fasting involves self-respect since I allow myself to eat what I want when I do eat.
3. Humility: Why humility? I'm not sure I know -- yet. It may have to do with recognizing my dependence on food as I experience changes in my body during the hours that I do not eat.
4. Gratitude: I have more appreciation for food after a fast.
5. Calmness: I recognize that I can function just fine without food for 24 hours. I don't need to worry if a meal is delayed.
6. Light: I feel light as a fast is ending.
7. Break: Fasting feels like taking a break. My digestive system has a vacation.
8. Rhythm: There is a rhythm of fasting days and non-fasting days.
9. Beauty: There is something beautiful about this way of life. What it is I don't yet know.
As I look over these words, the one that stands out is gratitude, and maybe that is why there is an underlying religious theme for me with fasting. I have a keener sense of gratitude for what I do have when I take breaks from having something as essential as food. There is no more grasping for as much as I can eat.
Day 5 – Sunday, September 18, 2011: I just finished dinner, and I think I'm going to fast until dinner tomorrow night even though I have an interview tomorrow. I just finished those awful red antibiotic pills, and I almost crave being able to fast. What I have noticed is that my body seems to desire more and more food, so fasting is a way to reduce the desire.
Fast Days
Starting Number of Fast Days (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 0 (this past week's number of Fast Days) = 0
Knee Exercise
Starting Number of Knee Exercises (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover) + 1 (this past week's number of Knee Exercises) = 1
Strengthening Exercises
Starting Number of Strengthening Exercises (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover) + 2 (this past week's number of Strengthening Exercises) = 0
Steps
Starting Number of Steps (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 29,725 (this past week's number of steps)
- 30,000 (expected number of steps for this week)
= -375.
Day 6 – Monday, September 19, 2011: The antibiotics are done, and I feel great being on a fast! My only concern is if my stomach growls during the interview, but the interview is over at 12:30 so it shouldn't be much of a problem. What makes it feel so good to fast? I don't know that I know. My stomach is emptying, and I can feel it. I have become sensitive to the energy freed up when my stomach is not digesting food. This is very strange to write because I have lived most of my life under the assumption that I need to eat to be energized. I remember well taking standardized tests for college and grad school and loading up on coffee and Snickers bars. Now, today, I am preparing for an important job interview by fasting. This isn't about catching up because I couldn't fast for ten days. Instead, it is 100% about doing what will make my interview the best it can be.
2:30 PM: I'm having no problem not eating, but I'm sad: the interviewer wants someone who can be extended into the summer, and that's not me. Maybe something can come of it, but maybe nothing will. I should not work in the summer. The kids need me. I need the break.
8 PM: I am stuffed, absolutely stuffed. Do I care? Nope. My theory is that fasting results in less eating but that change is not instantaneous. I think what I would like to do is just stick with the program I have and let time pass. I don't need to be thinking about it all the time. Instead, I need to give it time and see what happens. Right now, there is a big contrast between how my stomach felt two hours ago (before ending the 24 hour fast) and right now. It is clear that right now feels worse.
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011: Last night, I read this in Proverbs, chapter 13:25: "When the just man eats his hunger is appeased; but the belly of the wicked suffers want." Oh, I know how it feels for my belly to always feel want, but what makes a man just?
Last night, Tom picked up Anne from her class at the university, and he said she started eating a cookie the second she got in the car. I told him I had brought her to buy dinner just before class because she had to wait for Katie to finish swim team, and she bought the cookie then. He said what upset him was how she wolfed down that cookie and he had even asked her if she had had dinner. I then asked Tom if he knew why I started this journal in January of 2004, and then I told him it was because I had observed Anne rush home from school and head straight for the kitchen. It really saddened me to hear Tom describe how Anne ate that cookie, but I know, I know... She got it from me. The No S Diet limited when I ate like that, but it did not eliminate the behavior. Now I am on a different path with intermittent fasting and we'll see, we'll see... Anne will be out of the house, at college next year. She has to fight her own battle with weight. The best I think I can do for her is to win my own battle. I am hopeful with this approach because I simply was not bothered yesterday when I did not eat even though I went through an interview.
1:15 PM: My stomach hurts. I don't think I can eat as much on the day after a fast. Tomorrow is another fast. Friday I will try to fast. If I continue this, am I going to eat less to avoid a stomach ache? Yes, I think so. I have "unconditional permission to eat" right now, but adding to a stomach ache does not seem all that attractive an option.
9:30 PM: I am now on a Fast, and I am happy about that. At dinner, I told Tom that I was starting a new diet, and he asked Anne if she had ever remembered me thin. I told him this approach was Biblical, and he just chuckled. That's OK. I need to contain my enthusiasm and just wait and see.
Meanwhile, the recruiter got back to me and said I am the leading candidate for the job for which I interviewed yesterday. It would be such a blast to work there! I was told that the plan is for them to interview one or two more candidates, so I just need to wait and see.
"Patience is a virtue."
My weight has been remarkably stable, but what has changed is very, very significant: I no longer have the driving need to eat instantly and eat as much as I can; I no longer feel much hunger; I no longer think about food constantly.
Tom may scoff at my reference to this being a Biblical diet, but I think there is truth to it. I think that there is wisdom in fasting that has been completely lost because it seems so radical. Well, it's easy, and it's simple, and I still get to have whatever I want and as much as I want when I'm not fasting. The self-control outside of fasts actually comes from my body which cannot manage a shift to a lot of food after fasting.
The dog is used to my taking her for a walk after I use the bathroom. Well, today, I used the bathroom a lot more than usual. My stomach really hurt. After I break my fast tomorrow, am I going to eat as much as I did today? I might, but if I continue fasting I sure won't. Besides, if I'm working, I need to be in condition to work and not be feeling awful because I ate too much.
There is a phrase called "natural law", and I think that fasting may be part of "natural law." It may be that elusive path out of obesity that I have sought since Anne was in fourth grade and rushed home from school to eat as soon as she could. I've been looking so many years for this path that it is hard to believe that I finally found it.
Day 8 – Wednesday, September 21, 2011: Today is another Fast Day, and I met a friend at Einstein's. She had a bagel, and I had tea. There was no problem with enjoying our conversation because I was having tea only. Now I am back home, and the dog wants a walk.
I will take her because I am behind on my steps, but I also think I need to simplify my tracking system and have all the tracking for one month as follows:
Fast Days
Starting Number of Fast Days (prior to this month) = 0 (carryover)
+ 0 (September 11 - 17) = 0
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 3
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Knee Exercise
Starting Number of Knee Exercises (prior to this month) = 0 (carryover)
+ 1 (September 11 - 17) = 1
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 4
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Strengthening Exercises
Starting Number of Strengthening Exercises (prior to this month)
= 0 (carryover)
+ 2 (September 11 - 17) = 2
+ 3 (September 18 - 24) = 5
+ TBD (September 25 - 30) = TBD
Steps
Starting Number of Steps (prior to this past week) = 0 (carryover)
+ 29,725 (September 11 - 17)
- 30,000 (expected number of steps September 11 - 17)
= -375
+ 58,659 (September 18 - 24)
- 60,000 (expected number of steps September 18 - 24)
= -1,696
+ TBD (September 25 - 30)
- 50,000 (expected number of steps September 25 - 30)
= -TBD
12:44 PM: The dog is begging for another walk, but I need to wait for the furnace maintenance guy. I'm trying to get as much routine maintenance out of the way as possible. In the meantime, I'm having a somewhat boring afternoon as I scrape wallpaper glue and count the hours until I can eat. I was submitted for a very short-term position, so we will see how that goes. It is hard to be home and want to eat to avoid work, but I don't have that option today. I went in my daughter's closet and tried on her blue jeans and was relieved that I could not get them up to my hips. She is really, really fat, but at least she is not as fat as I am. My motivation to continue on this diet is almost entirely to show her a path. I'm not sure I would have sufficient motivation if it were not for her because there are just too many arguments against intermittent fasting and they are sounding in my ear today: low blood sugar, grumpiness, possibility of fainting, etc. This litany of excuses does not seem to be true for me, but it sure sounds good as I think about the Italian ice I bought yesterday. This, too, shall pass. I took a break writing instead of eating and now need to get back to work...
7:30 PM: Made it. 2 Fasts done. 98 to go before September 14 of nest year.
Day 9 – Thursday, September 22, 2011: I was tempted to weigh myself this morning but decided against it. I don't think that immediate weight loss is likely with this diet. Instead, it is the fasting that will decrease my appetite over time. I need to give this diet time.
There does seem to be very much of a religious element to this diet, but I cannot seem to put my finger on what exactly is the religious element. Is it respecting my body by eating what I want when I do eat? Is it the self-discipline of fasting? Is it the feeling of freedom that comes of knowing I can go a whole day without eating and feel fine?
I think the Greek Orthodox may have the greatest understanding of the benefits of fasting, and I read their writings online and am just baffled. It may be as difficult to understand the benefits of fasting without fasting as it is to understand the feeling of being in love without ever having been in love. I need to just do it and see, but I think that the benefit of fasting may be far greater in a non-physical way than it is in a physical way. It's just too early for me to tell what the benefits are, and it may be that I can never fully put the benefits in words.
One practical benefit of going all day without eating is that you save time by not preparing a meal, eating it, and cleaning it up.
2 PM: I just got home from lunch with another contractor who is such a delight -- very, very intelligent and with a great sense of humor. It was nice to enjoy lunch without having to worry about having one plateful or any rules at all. After that, I went to Costco and bought a pre-made dinner because Tommy is giving his Eagle presentation tonight and I don't want to fuss with dinner. I also bought chocolate covered caramels and had several.
It occurred to me when I woke up about midnight that this plan that I have of 100 Fasts in one year is very close to the traditional fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays. I think what I am going to do to simplify it even more is to try to fast on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays unless there are social reasons not to fast. There will be plenty of social reasons, probably, but it seems that I can adjust my schedule to avoid many of them or just have tea like I did yesterday morning. All I really need to do is avoid lunches out on those days.
We'll see. God, I hate jobhunting and am not overly optimistic that this job will come through, but trying to find a job is a heck of a lot hard than having and doing a job.
Day 10 – Friday, September 23, 2011: I am on my third day of fasting this week, and my tummy is already in revolt at 8:38 AM. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the Dairy Queen blizzard I had yesterday afternoon. I think that the secret to fasting is that your body simply cannot tolerate a big shift in caloric consumption. As a result, the fasting results in less desire to eat when I am eating.
I have somewhere a very interesting book called Anti-Cancer, and it discusses how inflammation is what causes cancer. In trying to put together pieces of the puzzle, I believe that fasting dramatically reduces inflammation: when there is no food, the body pulls back from inflammation activities to more essential functions. I think fasting may be very good for a person's body, and we have been fed a lot of bunk from the scientific community about how bad it is to fast.
If there was anyone fighting from her weakness, it is me arguing anything scientific. The funny thing about this is that, if I won the lottery and was independently wealthy, I would spend my time investigating exactly this.
As it is, I have a "meet and greet" with a recruiter this morning at 10 and need to take the dog for a walk. I may track down that book and try to flesh out the idea. Also, I think I am going to get a book from the library again that was recommended to me previously. It is called something like Super Fat to Super Fit. The author lost a lot of weight by eating only every other day. His approach was more severe than mine in that he did not eat for 36 hours, from one dinner to breakfast two days later.
Day 11 – Saturday, September 24, 2011: It is only 8:20 AM, and I have hit a wall with regard to chocolate covered caramels: no more! I then had tea, a nectarine and cereal. I feel heavy. It may be that one benefit of fasting is that I will desire lighter foods like fruit and vegetables, or it may be that my body is temporarily rebelling against the ingestion of too much chocolate-covered caramel.
Here is is only 8:20 AM, and I know I won't feel great for at least several hours. Here is the secret to the benefit of fasting: I experience lightness and prefer it. I am in transition now but see where this is headed. Am I tempted to have any more of those caramels? Absolutely not. The temporary benefit of eating them is outweighed by the temporary discomfort of having them sit in my stomach. The benefit lasts minutes; the discomfort lasts hours. I think this is going to work.
1 PM: I have continued to shovel food in my mouth. This reminds me of what I had concluded is the real lesson of dieting: "Eat everything you are allowed to eat." It's really disgusting how much I have eaten and yet I continue to eat. I wonder if there is a shortcut way to get to the point that I don't want to eat. Maybe I can allow my brain to look at food and tell myself that it is not going to feel good today if I eat too much. This isn't about losing weight. This is about feeling good today. Maybe that's what needs to be the focus. With dieting, the idea is that you feel miserable now but feel better tomorrow because you are thinner. With my approach, the goal is to feel my best now. How much do I eat now to feel my best now? One more caramel is a negative, not a positive. I need a motto, and I've been toying with a phrase like "Light feels better." There is an optimal amount to eat to maximize feeling my best, and I have no idea how much that is because I've followed the dieter's rule to eat what I'm allowed to eat.
Who knows? I found out Monday or Tuesday on the job for which I interviewed last week. It would be a terrific job and a lot of fun, so we'll see... I'll get something at some point, but sooner would be better than later because we have to start with college expenses next year and my income is dedicated to that.
1:30 PM: I just shoved three caramels in my mouth, and it occurred to me that the motto for me is "Light feels best." The question for this motto is this: "What is light?" Well, for sure, feeling caramels in your stomach is not light. What is very surprising about this revelation is I used to feel miserable (starving!) if I could not feel food in my stomach (stuffed). This is a mind game. What I need to realize is that what feels best is light, and I need to come up with a solid definition of light.
For starters, light means you cannot feel food in your stomach.
4:15 PM: I have my motto: "Light tastes best." I recall, somewhere, I read that a person's motto was "Thin tastes better." This person was thinking along the lines of something else I've read, which is "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Well, I am going down an entirely different path. When I am not hungry, food doesn't taste as good. When I'm really stuffed, it can taste like cardboard. How good a food tastes is an indication of how hungry I am. My focus is on the cost/benefit of eating now, and eating less needs to be better now than eating more. The focus on taste is the way to tell. Later, the stomach is impacted.
6:30 PM: No motto. I follow the behavior and don't worry about thoughts or mottos or anything else. I am now stuffed with caramels and the dog is barking at me because I haven't walked her very much. Stupid detour...
Day 12 – Sunday, September 25, 2011: I am really, really stuffed and suspect that I am gaining weight. That's the bad news. The good news is that I am getting disgusted. This morning, I remembered that people who were fat were viewed as lazy and sloppy. As I sat on the couch, thinking I just wanted to go back to bed, I realized that my body needs lots of energy to digest all that food. Overeating does result in lethargy. I also think there may be a relationship between sloppiness and overeating, but I don't yet see the relationship. I do struggle with organization.
10 PM: I'm a little behind in terms of steps for the week, but I fasted three times and did my strengthening exercises. Tomorrow is a Fast, and I have nothing on my calendar. I'm going to be painting the kitchen now that I got off all the wallpaper.
Day 13 – Monday, September 26, 2011: I still feel terrible from all the food in my digestive system, so I'm glad today is a Fast Day. How could I have switched from feeling starved if I'm not stuffed (which means eating several times per day) to wanting to fast? I think fasting sets up a contrast between overeating and not eating, and not eating turns out to be more the more pleasant state of my body. The problem I have at the moment is that I have not settled into moderate eating. If I continue, I think I will, but that is just a hypothesis. For a time, I had the hypothesis that having fat in milk would result in my wanting to eat less, and I tried that hypothesis out for a long time with no results. I think this test will last a shorter amount of time because I really do not feel great at the moment, and it's clear to me that the reason why is too much food.
11 AM: I should hear today or tomorrow on that job, and the wait is really bothering me. I think I need to take the tactic I did last year of not jobhunting and waiting for jobs to come to me. I become totally disorganized and distressed trying to be proactive, but I've already done what I need to do to get a job and now it is a matter of waiting.
This sounds like dieting. Too much effort can be counterproductive. The time I have spent on tweaking could have been spent exercising. The dog wants a second walk, so I'm out the door.
Fasting? Not a problem at all. There are stages to fasting, and right now my stomach is starting to empty and it feels good.
7 PM: I have got to be gaining weight. Today, I broke my fast at about 1:30 PM and just continued eating. Yes, I'm nervous about the job, which has not yet come through but is looking less likely, but I'm also just not doing well. The fasting is not resulting in moderate eating. I think I am going to ramp up very slowly. I think I'll skip one breakfast this week (this morning's breakfast) and then just skip two breakfasts per week next month. I do want to continue the exercises as I've got stated.
This is so hard...
Day 14 – Tuesday, September 27, 2011: 205.8 This has been yet another spectacular diet. I do think that part of it has been the overeating from stress of jobhunting. My husband is doing well. We don't rely on my income. I decided to just take a break from jobhunting and let the recruiters come to me. I still have not yet heard on the one job but it is looking less likely. Too bad. It would have been a great fit for me.
Now what? I think I am returning to my Novena Diet. With that diet, I counted 1,000 calories for 9 days and then maintained that weight for a month before going on to repeat the Novena Diet and lose more weight. That kept me of normal weight for many years, but it didn't work so well when I was pregnant. Well, I'm not going to be pregnant again.
I think I will modify the diet and just look at eating less rather than more during the diet. I won't write or weigh myself, either. This is more a time of contemplation.
Why didn't fasting work? I think it led to binge eating. The big problem I have is binge eating. With The Novena Diet, there may well be binge eating after the diet ends, but we'll see how it goes. For nine days, I'm just going to concentrate on eating less rather than more.
1:30 PM: I didn't get the job and am bummed. That's the way it is. I am trying to have more moderate meals.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 Once again, I have gone down a bad path. I think that my use of fasting is premature and the fact that I am engaging in binge behavior means that I am not ready for fasting. What to do? I was up last night thinking I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life if I don't change.
I thought back to when my Novena Diet approach collapsed, and oh I remember the week. That week contained the worst day of my life -- January 3, 2002. I weighed about 155 then and was still working on the pregnancy weight from my youngest child who was born the prior February. By September of 2002, I crossed over to 180. By April of 2004, I crossed over to 200.
Any attempt at self-discipline simply collapsed.
Now I look back and think that that diet approach, while not in any way natural or ideal, did result in my having a reasonable weight. Should I return to it?
Yes, I think I should. The idea was that I would have intermittent restricted eating resulting in weight loss followed by an entire month of no restrictions except daily weighing myself and staying under 5 pounds above the end weight of the restricted eating period.
A novena is a 9 day prayer, and I would restrict myself to 1000 calories per day for those nine days.
Now I think what I will try is to try to have only 300 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 700 for dinner. The calories would be estimates and not measured amounts. For example, this morning I had a small apple and a bowl of Cheerios.
I'll continue this until I weigh 195 and then take the entire next month to stay under 200 pounds.
This diet approach requires constant weight monitoring, but I am so sick of being fat that I cannot stand it.
Tom has told me that his mother has moaned about her weight ever since he can remember. She is now 86 and still moaning about her weight and her two daughters' weight. Am I following in her footsteps? Yes, I am.
How did I get here? Well, I can think long and hard about that question, but why bother? Do I want to discipline myself enough to lose weight? That is the real question. The answer for today is yes.
9 AM: I quoted the Bible: "Govern your appetite." I then added my own "no portion control" approach. Sometimes people filter out the facts to suit their own opinions, and I think I've done just that. The No S Diet does teach portion control, but I just could not stand the idea of one plateful at meals. I think that was my undoing. As I think about my Novena Diet approach of intermittent restricted eating, I think of the pain it was to decide when to go on the diet and when not to go on the diet. I am starting to think that my best approach might be to return to The No S Diet only this time add the restriction of one plateful. How I have avoided that!
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:29 pm, edited 83 times in total.
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3-0-7 girl
- Posts: 122
- Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:44 pm
- Location: USA
been reading
I have been reading your post and I wanted to tell you I tried the stomach hunger, growl, diet and failed horribly. I tried the Intermitent Fasting thing too and that lasted about 3 days.
What I can say I have experience on a very very successful level with is eating 3 meals a day, eating food I love, and nothing in between. I made it for a long, long, long time doing that and it was wildly successful for me.
I was actually derailed by stomach hunger and Intermitent Fasting programs They do not work for me. I have proven that to myself at a great price.
I did the same thing over and over and over expecting different results that time and never got it. That's insanity.
I can tell you this No S diet does work. I am sooooooooo glad to find these message boards and the book.
What I can say I have experience on a very very successful level with is eating 3 meals a day, eating food I love, and nothing in between. I made it for a long, long, long time doing that and it was wildly successful for me.
I was actually derailed by stomach hunger and Intermitent Fasting programs They do not work for me. I have proven that to myself at a great price.
I did the same thing over and over and over expecting different results that time and never got it. That's insanity.
I can tell you this No S diet does work. I am sooooooooo glad to find these message boards and the book.
3-0-7 girl
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God… (Dt. 11:26-28.)
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God… (Dt. 11:26-28.)
3-0-7 Girl,
I got burned once again on giving up the No S rules of no snacks and no sweets. I am returning to it. My weight just did not get to an acceptable weight with No S, although I never tried the one plateful rule. I am going to try adding intermittent fasting to meal timing. We went to a Mexican restaurant tonight, and I ate the entire meal after having gorged on the rest of the chocolate covered caramels. Ugh! It was meal timing that gave me some control over binge behavior. I just should not give it up, and I hope I learned my lesson!
You actually have an interesting twist on No S, which is not to have the S Day. I used to count the hours to an S Day, and now I don't. It's more that, on Sunday, I flip a switch and eat all day. Maybe I should try no Feast Days. Maybe I should just have two Exception Days per month.
I'm going to try your approach!
Kathleen
I got burned once again on giving up the No S rules of no snacks and no sweets. I am returning to it. My weight just did not get to an acceptable weight with No S, although I never tried the one plateful rule. I am going to try adding intermittent fasting to meal timing. We went to a Mexican restaurant tonight, and I ate the entire meal after having gorged on the rest of the chocolate covered caramels. Ugh! It was meal timing that gave me some control over binge behavior. I just should not give it up, and I hope I learned my lesson!
You actually have an interesting twist on No S, which is not to have the S Day. I used to count the hours to an S Day, and now I don't. It's more that, on Sunday, I flip a switch and eat all day. Maybe I should try no Feast Days. Maybe I should just have two Exception Days per month.
I'm going to try your approach!
Kathleen
Kathleen,
I am still following your journey with concern. I, too, have a daughter that I am worried about, my husband's family has a history of diabetes, and I have had to battle weight and eating issues all my adult life.
Therefore I have been searching out everything I can to answer questions I have about hunger, obesity, maintaining a weight loss, etc. I beg you to go to gnolls.org and read the series on Why We Are Hungry? You may not agree with all of the site (for instance, I do not make my decisions based on evolutionary thought) and the author does believe in an ancestral diet. However in this series he is not telling you how to eat...just explaining very clearly the science of hunger. It answered many questions for me about hunger, likes, wants, satiety, satiation, willpower. He is not selling you supplements and seems to be respected among doctors and scientists who are posting in the blogosphere. If you want to chase down the research he gives you the primary sources.
Why Are We Hungry?
And just what is ‘hunger’? A series in progress.
Why Are We Hungry? Part I: What Is Hunger? Liking Vs. Wanting, Satiation Vs. Satiety
Why Are We Hungry? Part II: Hunger Is The Product Of Multiple Perceptions And Motivations, Sometimes Conflicting
Restrained Eating: Willpower and Why Diets Fail (Why Are We Hungry? Part III)
When Satiety Fails: Why Are We Hungry? Part IV
When Satiation Fails: Why Are We Hungry? Part V
Of course, he has many other great articles. I love the one on how snacking makes us fat. But this series is scientifically sound. I have finally printed it out and put it in a notebook so I can read it over and over.
I am still following your journey with concern. I, too, have a daughter that I am worried about, my husband's family has a history of diabetes, and I have had to battle weight and eating issues all my adult life.
Therefore I have been searching out everything I can to answer questions I have about hunger, obesity, maintaining a weight loss, etc. I beg you to go to gnolls.org and read the series on Why We Are Hungry? You may not agree with all of the site (for instance, I do not make my decisions based on evolutionary thought) and the author does believe in an ancestral diet. However in this series he is not telling you how to eat...just explaining very clearly the science of hunger. It answered many questions for me about hunger, likes, wants, satiety, satiation, willpower. He is not selling you supplements and seems to be respected among doctors and scientists who are posting in the blogosphere. If you want to chase down the research he gives you the primary sources.
Why Are We Hungry?
And just what is ‘hunger’? A series in progress.
Why Are We Hungry? Part I: What Is Hunger? Liking Vs. Wanting, Satiation Vs. Satiety
Why Are We Hungry? Part II: Hunger Is The Product Of Multiple Perceptions And Motivations, Sometimes Conflicting
Restrained Eating: Willpower and Why Diets Fail (Why Are We Hungry? Part III)
When Satiety Fails: Why Are We Hungry? Part IV
When Satiation Fails: Why Are We Hungry? Part V
Of course, he has many other great articles. I love the one on how snacking makes us fat. But this series is scientifically sound. I have finally printed it out and put it in a notebook so I can read it over and over.
24.7 bmi Feb. 2019
26.1 bmi Sept. 2018
31.4 bmi July 2017
26.1 bmi Sept. 2018
31.4 bmi July 2017
TexArk,
Those gorgeous pictures bring me back to my days of backpacking in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana. I will look at the site beyond enjoying the pictures because, in the end, I think the problem is what it means to be hungry and how we get hungry. I came to the conclusion that the main problem with obesity is that the approach of "portion control" triggers a starvation response. My 17 year old daughter, so smart and so hard-working, is in the obesity range. I feel terrible about my contribution to her problem. Nothing could be more motivating to me than to model for her what it means to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Kathleen
Those gorgeous pictures bring me back to my days of backpacking in Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana. I will look at the site beyond enjoying the pictures because, in the end, I think the problem is what it means to be hungry and how we get hungry. I came to the conclusion that the main problem with obesity is that the approach of "portion control" triggers a starvation response. My 17 year old daughter, so smart and so hard-working, is in the obesity range. I feel terrible about my contribution to her problem. Nothing could be more motivating to me than to model for her what it means to lead a healthy lifestyle.
Kathleen
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3-0-7 girl
- Posts: 122
- Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:44 pm
- Location: USA
Kathleen if your going to try my way keep in mind I have a mini bite size candy bar or mini bite size cookie or 3-4 bites of a piece of cake or brownie daily either after lunch or dinner. Kinda break the S days up into bite size bits thru the week and weekend.
I find this same routine day in and day out is what makes it work for me. I don't know if it will for anyone else but it's sure worked and is working for me.
I find this same routine day in and day out is what makes it work for me. I don't know if it will for anyone else but it's sure worked and is working for me.
3-0-7 girl
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God… (Dt. 11:26-28.)
Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God… (Dt. 11:26-28.)
Kathleen,
I agree that there are some documented health benefits of short fasts such as you are doing...basically eating one meal a day several times a week. I think there is evidence that this can help with inflammation issues. However, I have to point out that you are completely sabotaging any health benefits or weight loss by continuing to eat Dairy Queen Blizzards and chocolate covered caramels and Italian Ice, etc. Have you ever checked your blood sugar level after eating these foods? Also you mentioned cancer and inflammation. Did you know that sugar has been proven to feed cancer cells. Yes there are health and spiritual benefits of fasting but there is no justification that I can see for feeding your body some of the foods you keep turning to....except as a very very rare treat in a very small portion. I am really concerned about our children's generation because I fear that they are going to trigger Type II diabetes at an early age (if they carry the genes) due to the heavy doses of sugar and other carbohydrates they are consuming. We used to have these types of foods at holidays and now it is daily fare.
I agree that there are some documented health benefits of short fasts such as you are doing...basically eating one meal a day several times a week. I think there is evidence that this can help with inflammation issues. However, I have to point out that you are completely sabotaging any health benefits or weight loss by continuing to eat Dairy Queen Blizzards and chocolate covered caramels and Italian Ice, etc. Have you ever checked your blood sugar level after eating these foods? Also you mentioned cancer and inflammation. Did you know that sugar has been proven to feed cancer cells. Yes there are health and spiritual benefits of fasting but there is no justification that I can see for feeding your body some of the foods you keep turning to....except as a very very rare treat in a very small portion. I am really concerned about our children's generation because I fear that they are going to trigger Type II diabetes at an early age (if they carry the genes) due to the heavy doses of sugar and other carbohydrates they are consuming. We used to have these types of foods at holidays and now it is daily fare.
TexArk,
There is instant feedback from my body that enough is enough. For example, I had a small Dairy Queen blizzard -- that was all I could handle. I had as many caramels as I wanted yesterday. There were supposed to be 50 in the jar, and I just counted 48 left. I am certain I had more than 2, but I did not have 1/2 or even 1/4 of the jar.
My blood sugar was 108 in 2008 and 95 this year, and I had my physical on a Monday morning when I was limited my "unconditional permission to eat" to Sunday only.
There is no doubt that this approach seems bizarre. I agree. It also seems dangerous. I agree.
What seems logically stupid -- intermittent fasting as the only way to restrict food intact -- seems to have the effect on me that I just cannot stomach a lot afterwards.
I still did have several caramels and a Dairy Queen blizzard yesterday, so there wasn't that much of a restriction, but I think the body-imposed restriction could increase over time.
If I don't lose weight by the beginning of November, I'll give up on this approach. Thanks.
Kathleen
There is instant feedback from my body that enough is enough. For example, I had a small Dairy Queen blizzard -- that was all I could handle. I had as many caramels as I wanted yesterday. There were supposed to be 50 in the jar, and I just counted 48 left. I am certain I had more than 2, but I did not have 1/2 or even 1/4 of the jar.
My blood sugar was 108 in 2008 and 95 this year, and I had my physical on a Monday morning when I was limited my "unconditional permission to eat" to Sunday only.
There is no doubt that this approach seems bizarre. I agree. It also seems dangerous. I agree.
What seems logically stupid -- intermittent fasting as the only way to restrict food intact -- seems to have the effect on me that I just cannot stomach a lot afterwards.
I still did have several caramels and a Dairy Queen blizzard yesterday, so there wasn't that much of a restriction, but I think the body-imposed restriction could increase over time.
If I don't lose weight by the beginning of November, I'll give up on this approach. Thanks.
Kathleen
I will quit pestering you, but I think you should know that a normal fasting blood sugar (which is also the blood sugar a normal person will see right before a meal) is:
83 mg/dl (4.6 mmol/L) or less.
Many normal people have fasting blood sugars in the mid and high 70 mg/dl (3.9 mmol/L) range.
Though most doctors will tell you any fasting blood sugar under 100 mg/dl (5.6 mmol/L) is "normal", there are several studies that suggest that testing with a fasting blood sugar in the mid 90 mg/dl (5 mmol/L) range often predicts diabetes that is diagnosed a decade later.
And this is just for the fasting level. The post prandial level should be checked also. Type II diabetes runs in my husband's family...several generations so I watch him closely. You can check yourself with a very inexpensive meter from WalMart..also their test strips are not as expensive as most.
83 mg/dl (4.6 mmol/L) or less.
Many normal people have fasting blood sugars in the mid and high 70 mg/dl (3.9 mmol/L) range.
Though most doctors will tell you any fasting blood sugar under 100 mg/dl (5.6 mmol/L) is "normal", there are several studies that suggest that testing with a fasting blood sugar in the mid 90 mg/dl (5 mmol/L) range often predicts diabetes that is diagnosed a decade later.
And this is just for the fasting level. The post prandial level should be checked also. Type II diabetes runs in my husband's family...several generations so I watch him closely. You can check yourself with a very inexpensive meter from WalMart..also their test strips are not as expensive as most.
TexArk,
Please do continue pestering me! I am glad that my blood sugar dropped, but I didn't think 95 was all that great. Also, my cholesterol is close to 200 which is considered normal, but it was over 200 previously. In the three years that I have followed The No S Diet, the common blood tests have shown some improvement, as has my weight. I am, however, still unhealthy. Both my parents are in their late 80s, and my grandparents died at 89, 97, 77 (smoker) and 83. I am glad I have good genes, but I need to improve my health. That is why I am so determined to have an exercise program that is sustainable. It's not just about weight. It's about health.
Do you know of any good books on blood tests? I have my blood tests from 2008 - 2011. Thanks.
Kathleen
Please do continue pestering me! I am glad that my blood sugar dropped, but I didn't think 95 was all that great. Also, my cholesterol is close to 200 which is considered normal, but it was over 200 previously. In the three years that I have followed The No S Diet, the common blood tests have shown some improvement, as has my weight. I am, however, still unhealthy. Both my parents are in their late 80s, and my grandparents died at 89, 97, 77 (smoker) and 83. I am glad I have good genes, but I need to improve my health. That is why I am so determined to have an exercise program that is sustainable. It's not just about weight. It's about health.
Do you know of any good books on blood tests? I have my blood tests from 2008 - 2011. Thanks.
Kathleen
There is a website at blood sugar 101. I have just recently looked at it because I heard a podcast interview with the author. She has put the info on the website into a book. The following is copied from her site:
Blood Sugar 101: What They Don't Tell You About Diabetes by Jenny Ruhl distills the mass of information stored on the Bloodsugar101.com Web site into a 200 page book and Kindle download.
It draws on the findings of peer reviewed research and the shared Wisdom of the Web to teach you:
1. How normal blood sugar works.
2. What happens as blood sugar control deteriorates.
3. What blood sugar levels cause complications.
4. How you can you prevent complications.
5. How to learn which diet is right for you.
6. What drugs are safe.
7. What supplements work
8. How to determine if you have a good doctor.
What I have taken away so far is that my husband probably needs to be checking his blood sugar at home to get real info and not rely on those once a year fasting tests.BTW I hope I have inherited the good genes from my father's side of the family..both grandparents made it to 92, he is 95 and his sister will be 101 next month! But they grew up eating all their food from the family farm..not the processed industrialized stuff we have grown up on.
Blood Sugar 101: What They Don't Tell You About Diabetes by Jenny Ruhl distills the mass of information stored on the Bloodsugar101.com Web site into a 200 page book and Kindle download.
It draws on the findings of peer reviewed research and the shared Wisdom of the Web to teach you:
1. How normal blood sugar works.
2. What happens as blood sugar control deteriorates.
3. What blood sugar levels cause complications.
4. How you can you prevent complications.
5. How to learn which diet is right for you.
6. What drugs are safe.
7. What supplements work
8. How to determine if you have a good doctor.
What I have taken away so far is that my husband probably needs to be checking his blood sugar at home to get real info and not rely on those once a year fasting tests.BTW I hope I have inherited the good genes from my father's side of the family..both grandparents made it to 92, he is 95 and his sister will be 101 next month! But they grew up eating all their food from the family farm..not the processed industrialized stuff we have grown up on.
September 28, 2011: The Many Point Diet
No snacks or sweets except on Sundays and a rolling average of two Exception Days per month. One plateful at meals. Liquids allowed outside of mealtime.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 (This month's goal is 179.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 27.0 pounds.)
Weights:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Exception Days:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011:
Status:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: FAILURE
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 I have followed The No S Diet off and on for three years with two modifications. One is that I did not bother with portion control and allowed more than one plateful at meals. The other is that I changed the rules on S Days from every Saturday and Sunday plus Special Days to every Sunday plus two floaters per month. I think that what hasn't worked for me is to dispense with the one plateful rule, so I decided that I will try it with the one plateful rule. I really, really do not want to use portion control of any type, but I also don't want to be fat for the rest of my life.
7 PM: Oh, I am cranky! I had to go lie down. I am not accustomed to eating a moderate amount. Fasting is no substitute for eating a moderate amount. I have to learn to like this feeling of not full and not empty and not emptying.
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4 Aristotle called moderation "the golden mean" and advocated for moderation as a virtue. This is true for the mean between overeating and undereating. I am not very familiar with moderate eating. With The No S Diet, I ate like a pig at every meal. Now what? Yesterday evening, I had a normal-sized plateful of beef stroganoff. After dinner, I was so grumpy I went and lay down. It's sad that I am having a real difficulty adjusting to this, but this is where I need to go.
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: First failure is officially out of the way on my No S Diet .
No snacks or sweets except on Sundays and a rolling average of two Exception Days per month. One plateful at meals. Liquids allowed outside of mealtime.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
Restart:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 (This month's goal is 179.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 27.0 pounds.)
Weights:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Exception Days:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011:
Status:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: FAILURE
Day 3 – Friday, September 30, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0 I have followed The No S Diet off and on for three years with two modifications. One is that I did not bother with portion control and allowed more than one plateful at meals. The other is that I changed the rules on S Days from every Saturday and Sunday plus Special Days to every Sunday plus two floaters per month. I think that what hasn't worked for me is to dispense with the one plateful rule, so I decided that I will try it with the one plateful rule. I really, really do not want to use portion control of any type, but I also don't want to be fat for the rest of my life.
7 PM: Oh, I am cranky! I had to go lie down. I am not accustomed to eating a moderate amount. Fasting is no substitute for eating a moderate amount. I have to learn to like this feeling of not full and not empty and not emptying.
Day 2– Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4 Aristotle called moderation "the golden mean" and advocated for moderation as a virtue. This is true for the mean between overeating and undereating. I am not very familiar with moderate eating. With The No S Diet, I ate like a pig at every meal. Now what? Yesterday evening, I had a normal-sized plateful of beef stroganoff. After dinner, I was so grumpy I went and lay down. It's sad that I am having a real difficulty adjusting to this, but this is where I need to go.
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: First failure is officially out of the way on my No S Diet .
Last edited by Kathleen on Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:26 pm, edited 11 times in total.
gnolls.org
Again, Kathleen, I beg you to go to gnolls.org (note that is not .com) and read all the series on Hunger. He has just added Part 6 this morning. I have printed them all out and put them in a notebook that I have read and reread and underlined several times. I really think you will find some answers here that you have been searching for...for you and your daughter.
My suggestion is to just read and think on what he is saying and don't try to formulate another plan just yet. Let this sink in. I think you will agree with him. This is not all about willpower and portion control by mind control. You don't have to buy into his evolutionary thinking, but pay attention to the biochemistry and how the brain and body works which he has simplified for those of us nonscience types. He even warns you when science is coming! LOL
My suggestion is to just read and think on what he is saying and don't try to formulate another plan just yet. Let this sink in. I think you will agree with him. This is not all about willpower and portion control by mind control. You don't have to buy into his evolutionary thinking, but pay attention to the biochemistry and how the brain and body works which he has simplified for those of us nonscience types. He even warns you when science is coming! LOL
Do what you need to do to keep from bingeing. I just meant as you read his articles try to put aside the editor and planner in your head (which sometimes works overtime!) Don't try to work up another "plan" as you read. Just absorb the information. It will not conflict with your Novena Diet because he is not proposing a diet plan in this series...He is just explaining hunger, appetite, wants, satiety, etc. The information may help you as you do make your eating choices at each meal, though. And when you feel the binge demon you can always go read some of his writings to stave it off!
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen wrote: Why didn't fasting work? I think it led to binge eating.
The big problem I have is binge eating.
Day 1 – Wednesday, September 28, 2011: 206.0
Once again, I have gone down a bad path.
I think that my use of fasting is premature and the fact that I am engaging in binge behavior
means that I am not ready for fasting. What to do?
I was up last night thinking I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life if I don't change.
Now I look back and think that that diet approach,
while not in any way natural or ideal, did result in my having a reasonable weight.
Should I return to it?
Yes, I think I should.
This diet approach requires constant weight monitoring,
but I am so sick of being fat that I cannot stand it.
How did I get here?
Well, I can think long and hard about that question, but why bother?
Do I want to discipline myself enough to lose weight?
That is the real question. The answer for today is yes.
9 AM: I am starting to think that my best approach
might be to return to The No S Diet only this time add the restriction of one plateful.
How I have avoided that!
Kathleen wrote:TexArk,
...re Gnolls.org info.
OK, but I am going to binge bigtime if I don't follow something in the interim,
so I'm going to go to the No S Diet I had with modifications
except I'll add one plateful.
Kathleen, I've been following you for a very long time, and it is crystal clear how you got here.
It was almost a year ago that you reached the same conclusion,
and I committed to help you follow almost this same plan for a month,
and you were unalbe to retain the truth of your conclusion,
or sustain your committment during that month.
Here's a quote from then. BrightAngel wrote:Kathleen wrote: Oh, am I stubborn, but I think I've finally answered the question,
"Is it possible to lose weight without portion control?"
The answer is "No".
Sometimes reality isn't what you want it to be,
but it's best to look at it square in the eye and accept it.
I sure don't want to be this weight for the rest of my life.
It's been 6 1/2 years since I started on this journaling venture,
and it's time to appreciate that the answer is "No".Kathleen, At Last !!!
NOW you can get a REAL Start.
Here are my unsolicited suggestions.
A MAXIMUM OF ONE "NEW START" PER MONTH.
Did you notice how many Exception Days you ALLOWED yourself in November
due to all of your "new starts"?
If not, go back and read your month of November.
Many No S people will be astonished that I'm giving THIS advice,
but...here goes:In case you have forgotten what Vanilla No S is:
- Start the month of December by doing Vanilla No S...
ALL of Vanilla No S, just like it is set forth by Reinhard...without ANY personal modifications.After a COMPLETE MONTH of working the best you can toward following Reinhard's Vanilla No S,
- 3 meals of day of ANYTHING you want to eat as long as it fits on 1 plate.
No Snacks, No Sweets, No Seconds, except SOMETIMES on "S" days.
"S" days are Saturday, Sunday, and Special days...like Christmas,
New Year's Eve etc, which are special exceptions to the normal "N" day rules.
Note in Vanilla No S:--these "exceptions" are "Special" days, not "Excuse" days....
...and are supposed to be used on Special days, not just whenever you fail to follow the plan perfectly.
which will be on January 1, 2012,
you can choose to make personal modifications to those rules...
BUT NOT BEFORE...
even if EVERY day in December is a Failure.
Within Vanilla No S, there is room for personal interpetation.
If you want to Fast - or skip a meal - Fine.
If you want to eat Oatmeal every day for breakfast - Fine.
If you want to track the food you eat - Fine.
If you want to count steps or strength train or whatever - Fine.
BUT.....Just make those things be personal daily choices as they come up...NOT ongoing RULES.
I know your new job is keeping you busy,
and you are concerned with the time this is taking you.
So...Give it up.
Just follow Reinhard's BASIC DIET...for 1 month.
It will save you an immense amount of time,
and it will probably keep you from gaining more weight during the Christmas Holidays.
I think it would be Very Helpful if you re-read Reinhard's little paperback.
If you don't have it any more, I will buy one for you,
and have it shipped directly to you from Amazon.
Reinhard is pro-modification, but says:"Be careful. The downside of self-made systems is that
you feel fewer compuntions about modifying them at the spur of the moment." page 168"Doing a watered-down "some S" version of the diet
probably isn't going to be very effective.
The thing about a moderate system like the No S Diet
is that you actually have to follow it systematically.
Because you're cutting off only a bit around the edges,
there's not the same leeway of excess than an extreme system will give you.
The No. S. Diet has exceptions built right in,
so you don't want to add in too many more.
The plan isn't that hard."page 170-171I would be SO VERY INTERESTED to see what would happen
if you make a committment to do this for just the rest of this year.
...which is only ONE month.
I believe it will Halt your weight-gain,
and it might cause a weight-loss,
while giving you a one month period of peace from the struggle.
Sometimes it is better to make a Realistic commitment
....like "one month",
than a Grandiose committment
...like a "lifetime".
Kathleen, Another year of Denial has passed for you,
I sincerely hope that the year's experiences have caused you
to be able to break out of self-denial enough to retain the Truth you've arrived at again,
and to maintain a sustained committment to some form of portion control,
in order to keep from going through another similiarly difficult year.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
BrightAngel,
I have fully explored the idea of dieting without "portion control" and found it to be -- in one word -- ineffective. I set up a modified No S Diet. If I decide to change it again, I'll go to vanilla No S. No added Exception Days. No tweaks. Can you believe it -- I had three copies of The No S Diet and tossed them all last week, so I'll order another copy from Amazon.
"Some lessons are best learned the hard way." That's what I preach to my kids, but I expect them to learn when they get a solid C because they didn't need to do the homework because they could make up the lost points by doing really well on the test. This was Tommy's approach to his first AP class, and he decided to do all of his second homework assignment. He learned. I've just taken longer.
Where am I? Fat fat fat... I stuck by portion control for a long, long time and have learned the lesson the hard way.
Kathleen
I have fully explored the idea of dieting without "portion control" and found it to be -- in one word -- ineffective. I set up a modified No S Diet. If I decide to change it again, I'll go to vanilla No S. No added Exception Days. No tweaks. Can you believe it -- I had three copies of The No S Diet and tossed them all last week, so I'll order another copy from Amazon.
"Some lessons are best learned the hard way." That's what I preach to my kids, but I expect them to learn when they get a solid C because they didn't need to do the homework because they could make up the lost points by doing really well on the test. This was Tommy's approach to his first AP class, and he decided to do all of his second homework assignment. He learned. I've just taken longer.
Where am I? Fat fat fat... I stuck by portion control for a long, long time and have learned the lesson the hard way.
Kathleen
Too funny! I could not stand not having a partially full stomach that wasn't stuffed, and so I had two entire bowls of popcorn for lunch. Then I took the dog for a walk and thought about how I would change my diet now. Then I realized I had made a commitment to BrightAngel to follow vanilla No S until the end of the year. Well, that's it...
Kathleen
Kathleen
Ha! I read your comment about you doing vanilla too. Funny how we go around and around trying to find the easier route when if we'd just be the old turtle instead of the hare, we'd be ahead by now. Let's put our blinders on and stay on track.
Lets go Kathleen!
Lets go Kathleen!
I guess this doesn't work unless you actually do it.
Please pray for me
Please pray for me
September 29, 2011: Vanilla No S Diet
The No S Diet (tweaked innumerable times):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Restart (vanilla No S):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4
(Month 1) Day 3 - Saturday, October 1, 2011: 205.6
Status:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: FAILURE
Day 2 – Friday, September 30, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 3 – Saturday, October 1, 2011: S DAY
Day 4 – Sunday, October 2, 2011: S DAY
Day 5 – Monday, October 3, 2011: FAILURE
Journal:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011:
Day 2 – Friday, September 30, 2011: I was determined to find a way to lose weight without portion control, and now I realize that portion control is nothing other than moderation. I managed to follow a diet and still eat everything in sight. How stupid, and my weight reflects that stupidity! Well, I cannot go back in time. I can get through one day of moderation (today) and brace myself for a lot of difficulty next week. That's OK. I'm unemployed and not too thrilled about jobhunting. I'll take the week off and see what comes of the possibilities that I already have including a return to the company where I worked in the spring.
8:30 PM: I had a large glass of wine to take the edge off the very uncomfortable feeling of having eaten but not having stuffed myself. It is such a contrast from fasting when I felt energized. Now I just want to go to sleep but we have a sleepover for Ellie so I need to stay up for a time. I want to eat more but I am going to wait and enjoy both Saturday and Sunday as S Days. Meanwhile, the account exec texted me to say it looks like I'll know by Tuesday if I will be hired back to where I was this spring and it looks good. If there ever was a low stress job, that was it!
Day 3 – Saturday, October 1, 2011: It was wishful thinking to think that I could create a diet without any need for portion control. I think that the problem was an unwillingness on my part to accept that self-discipline is part of dieting. "Govern your appetite" says a wise writer from the Bible. Did I want to govern my appetite? No. I wanted a gimmick that would allow me to eat as much as I wanted. Now, humbled, I am following The No S Diet exactly as written. This diet is new and yet it is based on Aristotle's age-old view that the virtuous are moderate.
Day 4 – Sunday, October 2, 2011: I had two S Days for the first time in more than a year. I am stuffed. Now I face five straight days of portion control. This is, at minimum, alarming to me. I am not sure I can handle it. What I am sure is that this is my one and only priority for the week. I doubt I'll do much jobhunting just because I will know by end of day Tuesday if I will be hired back where I was during the spring. If I do go back, I'd be very happy. The work was easy, so if I return I would be free to be a math team coach for Ellie's class. We only have a few years with the kids, and I just don't want to focus on my career while they are growing up.
Day 5 – Monday, October 3, 2011: I now encounter the problem which got me to start tweaking in the first place: the desire to have fruit with a meal. This morning, I had a bowl of cereal and a plum. I hat to put a dinner plate under the bowl so I could put the plum next to the bowl on the plate. How silly... Am I going to allow myself to have the fruit anyway? No. First of all, I made a commitment to stick to vanilla No S until January. Second of all, that silly plate is what keeps my meal from turning into a buffet. The one-plate rule is an ingenious way to prevent me from pigging out.
Meanwhile, I was walking the dog yesterday and decided there was no reason at all to entertain other dieting ideas. I'm sticking with this one for life. I am, after all, 52 years old, have a husband, have four kids, and would like to occupy my mind with other things. This diet qualifies as "good enough".
I am quite confident that I will have trouble this week with limiting my food intake to one plate, but that is OK. The "portion control" approach will allow me to adjust to less food so that, over time, the S Day pig outs will become less and less extreme. Actually, yesterday's wasn't so bad. I did allow myself to eat as much as I wanted and even bought a Costco jar of chocolate-covered almonds, but I didn't eat as much as I did when I first started this diet even though I am facing more restrictions this week. I did have about three bowls of chocolate ice cream, a PayDay, and several handfuls of the chocolate covered almonds. I can feel added weight in my arms. It's disgusting. Still, I think I have a way to follow a "portion control" diet without having out of control binges because I allow for out of control binges on the weekend. My trust must be that the one plateful rule during the week will result in a dampened appetite even when there are no restrictions on the weekend. I must trust this because I have certain knowledge that a constant portion control approach leads to out of control binges. My husband is going through that right now, after having lost a noticeable amount of weight for his Philmont trek. I don't want the bounce back effect of constant portion control. I don't want the high weight of no portion control. I am settling for intermittent portion control.
8 PM: First I decided that I would have just a few mushrooms while preparing dinner. It wasn't long before I moved to a plum and then to chocolate-covered almonds.
I gave my son and daughter a personality test which puts people into one of 16 different categories. I realize that people have fundamentally different personalities. My daughter is an INTJ -- a "scientist". My son has a very different personality - ENFP. What works for her most decidedly does not work for him.
Same thing for me. I need perfection. I just do. I don't know why, but I do, and that fact was reinforced today. I'm back to two Exception Days per month but this time I'm going to add the one plateful "portion control" approach of vanilla No S.
How embarrassing. I am mortified. I know I will not manage unless I have that added dimension of "perfect compliance." It is some sort of a personality issue because it is more like fidelity in marriage to me than it is like how I park in a parking spot. I need perfection with dieting. Why? I have absolutely no idea.
The No S Diet (tweaked innumerable times):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Restart (vanilla No S):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Thursday, September 29, 2011: 205.4
(Month 1) Day 3 - Saturday, October 1, 2011: 205.6
Status:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011: FAILURE
Day 2 – Friday, September 30, 2011: SUCCESS
Day 3 – Saturday, October 1, 2011: S DAY
Day 4 – Sunday, October 2, 2011: S DAY
Day 5 – Monday, October 3, 2011: FAILURE
Journal:
Day 1 – Thursday, September 29, 2011:
Day 2 – Friday, September 30, 2011: I was determined to find a way to lose weight without portion control, and now I realize that portion control is nothing other than moderation. I managed to follow a diet and still eat everything in sight. How stupid, and my weight reflects that stupidity! Well, I cannot go back in time. I can get through one day of moderation (today) and brace myself for a lot of difficulty next week. That's OK. I'm unemployed and not too thrilled about jobhunting. I'll take the week off and see what comes of the possibilities that I already have including a return to the company where I worked in the spring.
8:30 PM: I had a large glass of wine to take the edge off the very uncomfortable feeling of having eaten but not having stuffed myself. It is such a contrast from fasting when I felt energized. Now I just want to go to sleep but we have a sleepover for Ellie so I need to stay up for a time. I want to eat more but I am going to wait and enjoy both Saturday and Sunday as S Days. Meanwhile, the account exec texted me to say it looks like I'll know by Tuesday if I will be hired back to where I was this spring and it looks good. If there ever was a low stress job, that was it!
Day 3 – Saturday, October 1, 2011: It was wishful thinking to think that I could create a diet without any need for portion control. I think that the problem was an unwillingness on my part to accept that self-discipline is part of dieting. "Govern your appetite" says a wise writer from the Bible. Did I want to govern my appetite? No. I wanted a gimmick that would allow me to eat as much as I wanted. Now, humbled, I am following The No S Diet exactly as written. This diet is new and yet it is based on Aristotle's age-old view that the virtuous are moderate.
Day 4 – Sunday, October 2, 2011: I had two S Days for the first time in more than a year. I am stuffed. Now I face five straight days of portion control. This is, at minimum, alarming to me. I am not sure I can handle it. What I am sure is that this is my one and only priority for the week. I doubt I'll do much jobhunting just because I will know by end of day Tuesday if I will be hired back where I was during the spring. If I do go back, I'd be very happy. The work was easy, so if I return I would be free to be a math team coach for Ellie's class. We only have a few years with the kids, and I just don't want to focus on my career while they are growing up.
Day 5 – Monday, October 3, 2011: I now encounter the problem which got me to start tweaking in the first place: the desire to have fruit with a meal. This morning, I had a bowl of cereal and a plum. I hat to put a dinner plate under the bowl so I could put the plum next to the bowl on the plate. How silly... Am I going to allow myself to have the fruit anyway? No. First of all, I made a commitment to stick to vanilla No S until January. Second of all, that silly plate is what keeps my meal from turning into a buffet. The one-plate rule is an ingenious way to prevent me from pigging out.
Meanwhile, I was walking the dog yesterday and decided there was no reason at all to entertain other dieting ideas. I'm sticking with this one for life. I am, after all, 52 years old, have a husband, have four kids, and would like to occupy my mind with other things. This diet qualifies as "good enough".
I am quite confident that I will have trouble this week with limiting my food intake to one plate, but that is OK. The "portion control" approach will allow me to adjust to less food so that, over time, the S Day pig outs will become less and less extreme. Actually, yesterday's wasn't so bad. I did allow myself to eat as much as I wanted and even bought a Costco jar of chocolate-covered almonds, but I didn't eat as much as I did when I first started this diet even though I am facing more restrictions this week. I did have about three bowls of chocolate ice cream, a PayDay, and several handfuls of the chocolate covered almonds. I can feel added weight in my arms. It's disgusting. Still, I think I have a way to follow a "portion control" diet without having out of control binges because I allow for out of control binges on the weekend. My trust must be that the one plateful rule during the week will result in a dampened appetite even when there are no restrictions on the weekend. I must trust this because I have certain knowledge that a constant portion control approach leads to out of control binges. My husband is going through that right now, after having lost a noticeable amount of weight for his Philmont trek. I don't want the bounce back effect of constant portion control. I don't want the high weight of no portion control. I am settling for intermittent portion control.
8 PM: First I decided that I would have just a few mushrooms while preparing dinner. It wasn't long before I moved to a plum and then to chocolate-covered almonds.
I gave my son and daughter a personality test which puts people into one of 16 different categories. I realize that people have fundamentally different personalities. My daughter is an INTJ -- a "scientist". My son has a very different personality - ENFP. What works for her most decidedly does not work for him.
Same thing for me. I need perfection. I just do. I don't know why, but I do, and that fact was reinforced today. I'm back to two Exception Days per month but this time I'm going to add the one plateful "portion control" approach of vanilla No S.
How embarrassing. I am mortified. I know I will not manage unless I have that added dimension of "perfect compliance." It is some sort of a personality issue because it is more like fidelity in marriage to me than it is like how I park in a parking spot. I need perfection with dieting. Why? I have absolutely no idea.
Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Ok, I am thrilled that you are on vanilla NO s again!
I am not thrilled with any mention of portion control either, and I do not follow ANY portion control, except:
No Seconds (harder than anything)
and
No Snacks.
That's it. I did not try to learn to love eating a moderate diet.
I tried to learn to limit my eating opportunities to 3. With exceptions made for special occasions or special opportunities. Which should happen at least once a week. And if I feel like I have too many opportunities to indulge, I feel free to reel it in to weekends only.
I have to switch to smaller plates NOT because I need to remind myself that I 'should' eat less, but because I can not remember that now, 22 or so months in? I can NOT eat more without suffering, and I like how a full plate looks.
And your own testimonial from Nov 2008 is really what inspired me the most about following this plan: http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=4373
If you keep trying to futz with it, or worry about non-compliance. Or both. You will not be on the NO S Diet.
Just follow it, the best you can, as often as you can. Full plates count.
If you are tempted to a different restriction, Please read Every Word you have ever written in this thread to see if you have tried an 'improvement' before. If it's not worth reading through all that again--it is probably not worth trying!
And I am truly impressed with your resilience, because you will not give up. This does not mean it ought to be hard! Keep us posted.
I am not thrilled with any mention of portion control either, and I do not follow ANY portion control, except:
No Seconds (harder than anything)
and
No Snacks.
That's it. I did not try to learn to love eating a moderate diet.
I tried to learn to limit my eating opportunities to 3. With exceptions made for special occasions or special opportunities. Which should happen at least once a week. And if I feel like I have too many opportunities to indulge, I feel free to reel it in to weekends only.
I have to switch to smaller plates NOT because I need to remind myself that I 'should' eat less, but because I can not remember that now, 22 or so months in? I can NOT eat more without suffering, and I like how a full plate looks.
And your own testimonial from Nov 2008 is really what inspired me the most about following this plan: http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=4373
If you keep trying to futz with it, or worry about non-compliance. Or both. You will not be on the NO S Diet.
Just follow it, the best you can, as often as you can. Full plates count.
If you are tempted to a different restriction, Please read Every Word you have ever written in this thread to see if you have tried an 'improvement' before. If it's not worth reading through all that again--it is probably not worth trying!
And I am truly impressed with your resilience, because you will not give up. This does not mean it ought to be hard! Keep us posted.
Looking for intelligent daily defaults of all kinds.
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
Clarica,
I'm absolutely shocked that my posting from so long ago inspired you. That is terrific. I do think I'm reverting to a "perfect compliance" approach with two Exception Days per month but I'm adding in the one plateful rule. With no snacks and no sweets as the only rules, I didn't get below 195.
I am beginning to think intermittent portion control will allow me to avoid out of control binges. That means that I'll allow unconditional permission to eat on the weekends.
Kathleen
I'm absolutely shocked that my posting from so long ago inspired you. That is terrific. I do think I'm reverting to a "perfect compliance" approach with two Exception Days per month but I'm adding in the one plateful rule. With no snacks and no sweets as the only rules, I didn't get below 195.
I am beginning to think intermittent portion control will allow me to avoid out of control binges. That means that I'll allow unconditional permission to eat on the weekends.
Kathleen
October 4, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet (tweaked innumerable times):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Restart (add the one plateful rule):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 208.0
Number of Exception Days:
As of beginning of day on Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 2
As of beginning of day on Tuesday, October 11, 2011: 1
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at this diet were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
The No S Diet approach has three restrictions: no snacks, no sweets and no seconds. There are exceptions for Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days. I quickly modified the "no seconds" rule to be one with no "portion control". I could eat whatever I wanted at a meal so long as it was in front of me before I took one bite. I also changed the exceptions to Sundays plus a rolling average of two Exception Days per month. With the change to a set number of Exception Days, I could follow the diet with "perfect compliance". I couldn't argue that it was a Special Day if we were going to Snuffy's Malt Shop because Ellie went through some math DVDs or any of a myriad reasons that we were celebrating accomplishments. Instead, I could track Exception Days and use them like a bank account. I do also allow S Days on Sick Days. This is a change from three years ago.
Three years later and still above 200 pounds, I decided that maybe -- just maybe -- "portion control" was a necessary part of dieting. My problem has been that any sort of "portion control" -- even thinking about "portion control" -- led to binge behavior. Desperate, I decided to try the intermittent "portion control" of The No S Diet (no seconds except on S Days) because maybe I could manage so long as the "portion control" was not constant. This approach was begun on the evening of October 4, 2011 when my weight for the day was the highest it had been since fall of 2008. It was 208 pounds, and I had to take off my wedding ring because my finger had gotten so fat that I was having trouble bending the ring finger when typing. How humiliating. There was no way I was going to resize that ring: my antipathy to resizing my ring was strong enough to overcome my antipathy to using "portion control" in dieting.
Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet? I believe that the intermittent "portion control" approach to dieting may be sufficient that my weight will not boomerang. It is, I believe, a constant "portion control" approach that leads to the boomerang in weight.
Why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point†refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I love the place so much that it is the picture on my cell phone. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp in July. My daughter Ellie took a “Before†picture of me while we were there at Family Camp, which is designed for siblings of Scouts and Moms to stay while their sons and husbands are “Scout sideâ€. My beloved Anne was a camp counselor there from June 15 to August 22, and my daughter Katie also will be a camp counselor there someday.
This summer, I missed Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her fourth grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created us to torture us. That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. I have since thought back to that night and considered that the problem is not "portion control"; instead, it is constant "portion control".
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh.
It occurred to me just now that, since I was at Many Point in July, I have gone from getting sick if I don't drink coffee to getting sick if I do drink coffee. The human body can and does change. I can go from feeling starved if I'm not stuffing myself to eating normally and becoming of normal weight.
Day 1 - Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 208.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, October 5, 2011: 208.0
Day 3 – Thursday, October 6, 2011: 208.4
Day 4 – Friday, October 7, 2011: 206.6
Day 5 – Saturday, October 8, 2011: 205.2
Day 6 – Sunday, October 9, 2011: 206.6
Day 7 – Monday, October 10, 2011:
Day 8 – Tuesday, October 11, 2011: 206.6
Day 9 – Wednesday, October 12, 2011:
Day 10 – Thursday, October 13, 2011:
Day 11 – Friday, October 14, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, October 15, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011:
Day 16 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 25 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 26 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 33 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, October 4, 2011: This is the most I have weighed since the fall of 2008. I even had to take off my wedding ring because it was too tight. I need to return to what worked in this diet, which was the two Exception Day per month rule with "perfect compliance". I need to add to this diet, and I think what I need to add is the one plateful rule that restricts food consumption to one plate. I think I'll stick with Saturdays as N Days rather than S Days. How humbling and discouraging that I've gained so much weight so quickly. I have tried one thing that resulted in weight loss and that is the No S Diet with no snacks, no sweets, and two Exception Days per month. To lose more weight, I should add to that baseline, not change the baseline. I hope I can return to wearing my wedding ring, but it is sad that my fourth finger is actually stiff to the point that my typing is affected.
3 PM: The kids are home, and I'm still waiting to hear about the job. I ate after lunch, so I either have my first failure or I am rethinking all of this. What has occurred to me is that I have a sensation in my stomach of fullness, being stuffed or emptying. I think I need to target a certain level of fullness, and right now I'm above it. I can remember thinking it was pleasant to feel light. That was years ago. Can I recapture that? Maybe.
3:15 PM: This is absurd. I am not going to spend any more of my life debating weight management. This plan is good enough! I am going to add in 10,000 steps per day Monday through Saturday and three times per week doing strengthening exercises and that is good enough!!! Poor dog. I set aside the pedometer and had not desire to walk her. Now I put that pedometer back on. Measuring stuff motivates me. That is my personality. Tracking Exception Days is a good idea for me. Sometimes, I think that dieting serves as a useful distraction. I want to stop being distracted by life!
Day 2 – Wednesday, October 5, 2011: 208.0 I decided to stick with weighing myself so that I have more immediate feedback in case I go down a wrong path, which I hope this is not. I got my copy of The No S Diet yesterday and read through the no seconds section. Seriously, really... my problem has been fitting fruit on a plate. This morning, I put a bowl on a plate and two clementines next to the bowl on the plate. That means I am using a full sized plate rather than a salad sized plate. C'mon... In the grand scheme of things, is it really such a big deal that I dirty a larger sized plate? I think I made a major error three years ago in decided that I would just have everything in front of me before I took one bite.
I am going to allow sugared pop. Today I am having ginger ale which will help because I don't feel well. I think I may just be stressed out about getting a job, but I am sufficiently stressed out to feel quite sick and this morning I am giving an art presentation to fifth graders.
As for Exception Days, I think my personality is such that I cannot get past the need for "perfect compliance." I think I need the Exception Day tweak.
Something hasn't been working, and I think I should change just one thing in order to see if that affects my weight loss. What I am changing is to follow the one plateful rule.
9:30 PM: Tommy thought my plateful at dinner was rather excessive. I read him this from The No S Diet book, page 85: "Is it a disaster to pile on once in a while if the alternative is breaking the no seconds/no snacks rule? No. Should you do it regularly? No, you shouldn't. Will you, despite your better knowledge? I don't think so, unless you live by yourself in a cave. Because even if your eyeballing skills are nonexistent, other people will let you know... Spouses are particularly helpful in this regard." I told Tommy he is rather helpful as well.
Day 3 – Thursday, October 6, 2011: There is a big difference between 203 and 208. This may not be observable by others but I sure feel it. I waddle. My arms are flabbier. I feel totally disgusted. Having to take off my wedding ring was the last straw. It turns out I needed a prong tipped so maybe it was a blessing in disguise because I needed the prong fixed but still... How embarrassing. My mother in law decided not to get her ring resized and now she told me she lost it. No. I'm losing weight. I think I need the exercise and portion control. It is really hard to face reality. With my optimistic mindset, I think that it is possible I needed to deny the need for portion control because I wasn't ready for it but now I am. "Some lessons are learned the hard way", I often think in dealing with my children. Well, this was a hard lesson it took me a long time to learn.
Day 4 – Friday, October 7, 2011: Tommy is doing an excellent job of pointing out how much food is on my dinner plate. Yesterday, some pretzels extended over the edge of the plate. I told Tom and Tommy that the book says shame is a powerful motivator. I can see how much I'm eating when it all has to fit on one plate.
9 PM: I had a cup of coffee today and then got really, really sick. I was in bed all afternoon. It seems likely it was some sort of reaction to the caffeine, but there is also stress. I have an interview on Monday and also I have that potential job still a potential. The VP was at a company off-site for three days and is down to the last approval.
I ended up eating after dinner, and I think I will revert to The No S Diet exception for sickness. Today definitely qualifies for sickness. I also think I'm giving up the pedometer and strengthening exercises to focus on portion control. The one plate rule is difficult for me.
Last week I think I managed one day. This week, if I am successful, will be two days. Next week, I hope to make it six.
Day 5 – Saturday, October 8, 2011: My weight went down from yesterday, but I was terribly sick and in bed all afternoon. Today I feel much better. I had not experienced that type of headache since the last time I drank a cup of coffee, but this time it was much worse. I wonder why that is.
Meanwhile, I took out a plate, put a bowl of Cheerios on top of the plate, and set an apple next to the bowl. If dirtying a large sized plate is what stands between me and becoming thin, well, I think I need to do it. I think that limiting food intake to one plate is critical because, when the plate is empty, then the time to stop eating has come. It's a built-in signal to stop.
12 PM: Anne was impressed by my lunch: an entire bowl of popcorn topped with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I told her that shame helps with this diet because look like a pig.
Day 6 – Sunday, October 9, 2011: I cannot believe we are having 80 degree temperature in October in Minnesota! I am miserable! At any rate, I ate a whole lot today and am glad I did. I am preparing for this week's siege of only one plateful at meals. Tom was lecturing me this morning about how this approach wasn't going to work because shame comes from people outside of yourself and you need to make the decision. In a way, I think he's right. There's a lot of personal disgust when I see a bowlful of popcorn topped with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Somehow it seems a whole lot more gluttonous than a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple and a separate bowl with popcorn in it.
Day 7 – Monday, October 10, 2011: I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I have to leave for an interview in an hour and don't feel sufficiently prepared, so I'm calling the recruiter. The dog needs a walk. I have to give a presentation in the 5th grade classroom. I'm busy! That's the beauty of this diet and the reason why I want it to work: it takes no time at all!
Day 8 – Tuesday, October 11, 2011: I sailed through the day until dinner and then ate -- not as much as a binge. Still, it was an Exception Day. I have to recognize that I am accustomed to eating as much as I want at every meal and now I am limited to one plate. This is not easy. I was happy that I weighed today what I weighed on Sunday morning so I should see some progress through the week. The key, however, is not the weight today or tomorrow. Rather, it is building the habit. With giving up coffee, I have tried a go-gradual approach and a dive-in approach. Last Friday's reaction to one cup of coffee proved to me that I have adjusted to no coffee to the extent that I cannot tolerate coffee. I think I need to make a similar change here. I need to go from being stuffed a the end of every meal to being used to portion limited to a plate, and that is a dramatic change. It will take clenching my teeth to get through the next few weeks.
Day 9 – Wednesday, October 12, 2011: I ate outside of mealtime yesterday, and now I think I need some time to think. I need to take a break and look at what I am doing and try to understand why this diet worked so well for about a year, when I did lose 20 pounds and stopped my 10 pound per year weight gain. What has gone wrong since then?
Day 10 – Thursday, October 13, 2011: The contract position I was hoping to get came through, and I am to start on Monday. I will be swamped. In the meantime, I had ordered the Diabetes 101 book that was recommended to me and had seen The Full Plate Diet on Amazon at the time I placed the order. When I got it, I read how you can eat lots of fruits and vegetables which make you feel less hungry. I tried this starting yesterday and ate a lot but felt quite full even this morning. I think I'm going to try that for a time. My weight was at 207.2 this morning. It's as if my willingness or ability to restrict according to time simply collapsed, so I have swung over to something else. Out of deference to Reinhard, I want to be out of discussion if I am following something else.
Day 11 – Friday, October 14, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, October 15, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011:
Day 16 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 25 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 26 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 33 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
The No S Diet (tweaked innumerable times):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
Restart (add the one plateful rule):
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 208.0
Number of Exception Days:
As of beginning of day on Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 2
As of beginning of day on Tuesday, October 11, 2011: 1
My path to sane eating started with The No S Diet, which limits eating to meals on most weekdays and which limits those meals to one plateful. My first attempts at this diet were so distracting that I had to take breaks from the normal routine of being a stay at home Mom and have my kids go watch TV. Here is something I wrote on September 18, 2008, just ten days after I started The No S Diet: "All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair."
The No S Diet approach has three restrictions: no snacks, no sweets and no seconds. There are exceptions for Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days. I quickly modified the "no seconds" rule to be one with no "portion control". I could eat whatever I wanted at a meal so long as it was in front of me before I took one bite. I also changed the exceptions to Sundays plus a rolling average of two Exception Days per month. With the change to a set number of Exception Days, I could follow the diet with "perfect compliance". I couldn't argue that it was a Special Day if we were going to Snuffy's Malt Shop because Ellie went through some math DVDs or any of a myriad reasons that we were celebrating accomplishments. Instead, I could track Exception Days and use them like a bank account. I do also allow S Days on Sick Days. This is a change from three years ago.
Three years later and still above 200 pounds, I decided that maybe -- just maybe -- "portion control" was a necessary part of dieting. My problem has been that any sort of "portion control" -- even thinking about "portion control" -- led to binge behavior. Desperate, I decided to try the intermittent "portion control" of The No S Diet (no seconds except on S Days) because maybe I could manage so long as the "portion control" was not constant. This approach was begun on the evening of October 4, 2011 when my weight for the day was the highest it had been since fall of 2008. It was 208 pounds, and I had to take off my wedding ring because my finger had gotten so fat that I was having trouble bending the ring finger when typing. How humiliating. There was no way I was going to resize that ring: my antipathy to resizing my ring was strong enough to overcome my antipathy to using "portion control" in dieting.
Here is an excerpt from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic: “Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation diet."
How many people are willing to maintain themselves on a starvation diet? I believe that the intermittent "portion control" approach to dieting may be sufficient that my weight will not boomerang. It is, I believe, a constant "portion control" approach that leads to the boomerang in weight.
Why do I call my diet the Many Point Diet? I call it that because I wanted a positive association with dieting, and Many Point provides that positive association. "Many Point†refers to a specific place that is beautiful and calm and full of the goodness that is at the very heart of Boy Scouts. I love the place so much that it is the picture on my cell phone. I had been at Many Point Scout Camp in July. My daughter Ellie took a “Before†picture of me while we were there at Family Camp, which is designed for siblings of Scouts and Moms to stay while their sons and husbands are “Scout sideâ€. My beloved Anne was a camp counselor there from June 15 to August 22, and my daughter Katie also will be a camp counselor there someday.
This summer, I missed Anne, my first born, the little baby who introduced me to parenting, the teen who is eager to be off to college... It was in January of her fourth grade when I noticed how she got home and rushed to the kitchen for food. That moment, observing her, I knew she would have a weight problem, and I set out to find a way to control weight without "portion control".
On the Thursday night when I was at Many Point, at about 10:30 PM, I went out on the fishing pier to see the Milky Way over the lake. What a beautiful sight! A God who creates such beauty simply could not have created us to torture us. That silent night at Many Point, standing on the fishing pier and looking out at all that beauty, I stood in awe. I have since thought back to that night and considered that the problem is not "portion control"; instead, it is constant "portion control".
While at Many Point, I also got a glimpse of a grandfather who was the program manager and was described as "Scoutastic". What a vigorous, cheerful man! I want to present myself as a person who is cheerful and energetic, and I don't now because of my weight. This diet, I think, will help me by allowing me to lose weight without the need for constant monitoring of my food intake and a constant feeling of starvation.
Will I lose weight and become energetic following this diet? That is the question. I will only know by following it for a period of time and seeing how I feel and seeing how much I weigh.
It occurred to me just now that, since I was at Many Point in July, I have gone from getting sick if I don't drink coffee to getting sick if I do drink coffee. The human body can and does change. I can go from feeling starved if I'm not stuffing myself to eating normally and becoming of normal weight.
Day 1 - Tuesday, October 4, 2011: 208.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, October 5, 2011: 208.0
Day 3 – Thursday, October 6, 2011: 208.4
Day 4 – Friday, October 7, 2011: 206.6
Day 5 – Saturday, October 8, 2011: 205.2
Day 6 – Sunday, October 9, 2011: 206.6
Day 7 – Monday, October 10, 2011:
Day 8 – Tuesday, October 11, 2011: 206.6
Day 9 – Wednesday, October 12, 2011:
Day 10 – Thursday, October 13, 2011:
Day 11 – Friday, October 14, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, October 15, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011:
Day 16 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 25 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 26 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 33 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, October 4, 2011: This is the most I have weighed since the fall of 2008. I even had to take off my wedding ring because it was too tight. I need to return to what worked in this diet, which was the two Exception Day per month rule with "perfect compliance". I need to add to this diet, and I think what I need to add is the one plateful rule that restricts food consumption to one plate. I think I'll stick with Saturdays as N Days rather than S Days. How humbling and discouraging that I've gained so much weight so quickly. I have tried one thing that resulted in weight loss and that is the No S Diet with no snacks, no sweets, and two Exception Days per month. To lose more weight, I should add to that baseline, not change the baseline. I hope I can return to wearing my wedding ring, but it is sad that my fourth finger is actually stiff to the point that my typing is affected.
3 PM: The kids are home, and I'm still waiting to hear about the job. I ate after lunch, so I either have my first failure or I am rethinking all of this. What has occurred to me is that I have a sensation in my stomach of fullness, being stuffed or emptying. I think I need to target a certain level of fullness, and right now I'm above it. I can remember thinking it was pleasant to feel light. That was years ago. Can I recapture that? Maybe.
3:15 PM: This is absurd. I am not going to spend any more of my life debating weight management. This plan is good enough! I am going to add in 10,000 steps per day Monday through Saturday and three times per week doing strengthening exercises and that is good enough!!! Poor dog. I set aside the pedometer and had not desire to walk her. Now I put that pedometer back on. Measuring stuff motivates me. That is my personality. Tracking Exception Days is a good idea for me. Sometimes, I think that dieting serves as a useful distraction. I want to stop being distracted by life!
Day 2 – Wednesday, October 5, 2011: 208.0 I decided to stick with weighing myself so that I have more immediate feedback in case I go down a wrong path, which I hope this is not. I got my copy of The No S Diet yesterday and read through the no seconds section. Seriously, really... my problem has been fitting fruit on a plate. This morning, I put a bowl on a plate and two clementines next to the bowl on the plate. That means I am using a full sized plate rather than a salad sized plate. C'mon... In the grand scheme of things, is it really such a big deal that I dirty a larger sized plate? I think I made a major error three years ago in decided that I would just have everything in front of me before I took one bite.
I am going to allow sugared pop. Today I am having ginger ale which will help because I don't feel well. I think I may just be stressed out about getting a job, but I am sufficiently stressed out to feel quite sick and this morning I am giving an art presentation to fifth graders.
As for Exception Days, I think my personality is such that I cannot get past the need for "perfect compliance." I think I need the Exception Day tweak.
Something hasn't been working, and I think I should change just one thing in order to see if that affects my weight loss. What I am changing is to follow the one plateful rule.
9:30 PM: Tommy thought my plateful at dinner was rather excessive. I read him this from The No S Diet book, page 85: "Is it a disaster to pile on once in a while if the alternative is breaking the no seconds/no snacks rule? No. Should you do it regularly? No, you shouldn't. Will you, despite your better knowledge? I don't think so, unless you live by yourself in a cave. Because even if your eyeballing skills are nonexistent, other people will let you know... Spouses are particularly helpful in this regard." I told Tommy he is rather helpful as well.
Day 3 – Thursday, October 6, 2011: There is a big difference between 203 and 208. This may not be observable by others but I sure feel it. I waddle. My arms are flabbier. I feel totally disgusted. Having to take off my wedding ring was the last straw. It turns out I needed a prong tipped so maybe it was a blessing in disguise because I needed the prong fixed but still... How embarrassing. My mother in law decided not to get her ring resized and now she told me she lost it. No. I'm losing weight. I think I need the exercise and portion control. It is really hard to face reality. With my optimistic mindset, I think that it is possible I needed to deny the need for portion control because I wasn't ready for it but now I am. "Some lessons are learned the hard way", I often think in dealing with my children. Well, this was a hard lesson it took me a long time to learn.
Day 4 – Friday, October 7, 2011: Tommy is doing an excellent job of pointing out how much food is on my dinner plate. Yesterday, some pretzels extended over the edge of the plate. I told Tom and Tommy that the book says shame is a powerful motivator. I can see how much I'm eating when it all has to fit on one plate.
9 PM: I had a cup of coffee today and then got really, really sick. I was in bed all afternoon. It seems likely it was some sort of reaction to the caffeine, but there is also stress. I have an interview on Monday and also I have that potential job still a potential. The VP was at a company off-site for three days and is down to the last approval.
I ended up eating after dinner, and I think I will revert to The No S Diet exception for sickness. Today definitely qualifies for sickness. I also think I'm giving up the pedometer and strengthening exercises to focus on portion control. The one plate rule is difficult for me.
Last week I think I managed one day. This week, if I am successful, will be two days. Next week, I hope to make it six.
Day 5 – Saturday, October 8, 2011: My weight went down from yesterday, but I was terribly sick and in bed all afternoon. Today I feel much better. I had not experienced that type of headache since the last time I drank a cup of coffee, but this time it was much worse. I wonder why that is.
Meanwhile, I took out a plate, put a bowl of Cheerios on top of the plate, and set an apple next to the bowl. If dirtying a large sized plate is what stands between me and becoming thin, well, I think I need to do it. I think that limiting food intake to one plate is critical because, when the plate is empty, then the time to stop eating has come. It's a built-in signal to stop.
12 PM: Anne was impressed by my lunch: an entire bowl of popcorn topped with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I told her that shame helps with this diet because look like a pig.
Day 6 – Sunday, October 9, 2011: I cannot believe we are having 80 degree temperature in October in Minnesota! I am miserable! At any rate, I ate a whole lot today and am glad I did. I am preparing for this week's siege of only one plateful at meals. Tom was lecturing me this morning about how this approach wasn't going to work because shame comes from people outside of yourself and you need to make the decision. In a way, I think he's right. There's a lot of personal disgust when I see a bowlful of popcorn topped with an apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Somehow it seems a whole lot more gluttonous than a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple and a separate bowl with popcorn in it.
Day 7 – Monday, October 10, 2011: I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I have to leave for an interview in an hour and don't feel sufficiently prepared, so I'm calling the recruiter. The dog needs a walk. I have to give a presentation in the 5th grade classroom. I'm busy! That's the beauty of this diet and the reason why I want it to work: it takes no time at all!
Day 8 – Tuesday, October 11, 2011: I sailed through the day until dinner and then ate -- not as much as a binge. Still, it was an Exception Day. I have to recognize that I am accustomed to eating as much as I want at every meal and now I am limited to one plate. This is not easy. I was happy that I weighed today what I weighed on Sunday morning so I should see some progress through the week. The key, however, is not the weight today or tomorrow. Rather, it is building the habit. With giving up coffee, I have tried a go-gradual approach and a dive-in approach. Last Friday's reaction to one cup of coffee proved to me that I have adjusted to no coffee to the extent that I cannot tolerate coffee. I think I need to make a similar change here. I need to go from being stuffed a the end of every meal to being used to portion limited to a plate, and that is a dramatic change. It will take clenching my teeth to get through the next few weeks.
Day 9 – Wednesday, October 12, 2011: I ate outside of mealtime yesterday, and now I think I need some time to think. I need to take a break and look at what I am doing and try to understand why this diet worked so well for about a year, when I did lose 20 pounds and stopped my 10 pound per year weight gain. What has gone wrong since then?
Day 10 – Thursday, October 13, 2011: The contract position I was hoping to get came through, and I am to start on Monday. I will be swamped. In the meantime, I had ordered the Diabetes 101 book that was recommended to me and had seen The Full Plate Diet on Amazon at the time I placed the order. When I got it, I read how you can eat lots of fruits and vegetables which make you feel less hungry. I tried this starting yesterday and ate a lot but felt quite full even this morning. I think I'm going to try that for a time. My weight was at 207.2 this morning. It's as if my willingness or ability to restrict according to time simply collapsed, so I have swung over to something else. Out of deference to Reinhard, I want to be out of discussion if I am following something else.
Day 11 – Friday, October 14, 2011:
Day 12 – Saturday, October 15, 2011:
Day 13 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 14 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 15 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011:
Day 16 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011:
Day 17 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 18 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 19 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 20 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 21 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 22 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 23 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 24 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 25 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 26 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 27 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 33 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Oct 13, 2011 6:50 pm, edited 18 times in total.
Yeah, you're my inspiration. And sometimes it drives me nuts because you are so impatient for specific results that you don't ride out temporary fluctuations with determined habit maintenance. temporary fluctuations drive me nuts too, but I am not going back to overeating, and I am not willing to try conscious restriction.
But maybe you're right and you need to change it up more often? It's really hard to say what is perfect for someone else.
If you're walking for walking, fine, but it's a different habit, not a food habit. ok?
Cheers!
Hope this doesn't come off as too cranky, I didn't sleep right!
But maybe you're right and you need to change it up more often? It's really hard to say what is perfect for someone else.
If you're walking for walking, fine, but it's a different habit, not a food habit. ok?
Cheers!
Hope this doesn't come off as too cranky, I didn't sleep right!
Looking for intelligent daily defaults of all kinds.
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
Clarica,
Oh, I'm feeling better. Jobhunting is a pain, and it didn't help that I got so fat I had to take off my wedding ring. My husband likes to quote John Paul II: "In Divine Providence there are no mere coincidences." It turns out that I had a prong on my ring that needed to be tipped. It may be that I could not handle portion control previously but now I can.
Kathleen
Oh, I'm feeling better. Jobhunting is a pain, and it didn't help that I got so fat I had to take off my wedding ring. My husband likes to quote John Paul II: "In Divine Providence there are no mere coincidences." It turns out that I had a prong on my ring that needed to be tipped. It may be that I could not handle portion control previously but now I can.
Kathleen
-
BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Kathleen, I'm happy to see
your current acceptance of the necessity for portion control.
In the past I've shared a great deal about this with you.
As a Reminder:
Even when following the No S Diet,
Portion control is necessary to lose or maintain a normal weight.
Some people are tall, young, and active enough
so that the 3 meal 1 plate guideline provides enough portion control.
Others are like me, who need to consciously use
more careful portion control in addition to the basic guidelines,
SEE:
http://www.diethobby.com/blog.php?ax=v&nid=333
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
I agree that portion control is key, but I do not recommend that you try any other portion control than meal=plate for six months.
The first 10 pounds you lost did not come from active portion control, they came from passive portion control. And you didn't even limit yourself to a plate! I think you do fine with passive portion control. What do you think?
Day to day, your weight can go up in meaningless ways. And down in meaningless ways. The trends over time mean more, right?
The first 10 pounds you lost did not come from active portion control, they came from passive portion control. And you didn't even limit yourself to a plate! I think you do fine with passive portion control. What do you think?
Day to day, your weight can go up in meaningless ways. And down in meaningless ways. The trends over time mean more, right?
Looking for intelligent daily defaults of all kinds.
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
http://claricaandthequestion.blogspot.com/
-
Pangelsue2
- Posts: 389
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
- Location: Neenah WI
I've been browsing here off and on for a while and I think that is your best post to date. Congratulations with taking it slow and trusting yourself to do the right thing. You seemed for a long time to be looking for some massive process that would govern you somehow from the outside. That plan would exert enough authority over you that you would comply. I have not yet found my answer either but I now know that the answer will be something happening in my head, not something imposed from without. You are obviously an intelligent, organized, person. Forget the plans and work on loving and trusting yourself. Then, any plan will work. I am ever so slowly creeping up on that state. I think when it happens, I will probably lose weight. Maybe not. But I know for sure that I will love, trust and believe in myself for possibly the first time in my life. I know too that I will stop expecting miracles of myself and see any forward movement as progress. I think the beauty of Reinhard's plan is getting rid of food obsession so we can focus on who we are and our purpose on this planet. I don't think that purpose for any of us is finding the perfect diet. You seem now to be trying to follow the plan as much as possible and let the rest go. Good start. Every success is a victory. Every failure shows our humanity not our weakness. I am 66 years old and have been fighting my weight all my adult life. Do you know the most ironic thing? When I came back here, I weighed more than I had my entire adult life~~ All the hundreds of diets, plans, lists, charts, books etc. had absolutely no effect whatsoever except to waste precious moments of my life. Seriously, we know exactly what we should be doing and not doing. There is nothing left for any book to teach us. Right? We don't need any more books, plans or charts. We have graduated from years of dieting college and we are making our way in the world. It's a head game at this point. We need to find out what we are willing to do to eat sanely. If the answer is nothing, then move on and accept that. Your family will remember you as a happy (albeit heavy) person. If the answer is do enough to maintain, then so be it. You will be in total control of maintenance. If we are willing to do enough to lose 10, OK, good. And so on. Whatever it is we are WILLING to do will work. What we are not willing to do, CAN'T work. When we accept that knowledge, we will do something or not. Commit to being happy doing whatever you do. Best of luck to you (and me).
I'm baaaack.
Journal:
Saturday, October 15, 2011: It is amazing how much I can eat when I have no timing restrictions. This morning, I weighed 207.8. I decided, frankly, to bribe myself. There is a cheap piece of jewelry that I got from my parents that is a copper and black enamel pendant in the shape of a Gaelic small letter k. I love it. I went to the jeweler today to pick up my ring and I got a quote of $300 - $350 to get it made in 14K gold and enamel. Tom said I could go ahead and get it made. I'm not one to spend a lot on clothing, jewelry or makeup, so he knows how much I'd like it. What he doesn't know is that it is a personal bribe. I am going to bring it in to be made, and it will take about two weeks, but I won't wear it until I have gone 100 days (doesn't have to be consecutive) of eating three meals per day with no snacks and no outside calories and no sweets and a maximum of 300 calories at breakfast, 500 calories at lunch, and 700 calories at dinner. The calories will be estimated because I am absolutely not going back to Lean Cuisine.
Will it work? I don't know, but high-fiber did nothing but make me want to eat everything in sight. I return to work on Monday and will be swamped because I took on a volunteer position with the Boy Scouts and have to make sure Anne applies to more than one school. She's already gotten in that one school, and she really likes it, but she has put very little effort into deciding how to spend the next four years of her life.
Day 1 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 2 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 3 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011: That was an utter flop! Now I'm swamped in trying to work. Yesterday, Katie had a swim meet, Ellie had to be taken to Lego Robotics, Tommy needed ingredients for a recipe for his German class, and Anne needed to be picked up from the U at 8 PM. Tonight, Ellie and Katie had music lessons, and Tommy had a caddy dinner. How am I supposed to worry about my weight? I decided just to ask myself this question, "Am I eating as a thin person?" At the caddy dinner, I was tempted to have two desserts but had one. I weighed 207.8 this morning, which wasn't too bad considering how much I've pigged out since deciding to count calories.
Weights
Day 4 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011: 207.6
Day 5 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 6 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 7 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 8 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 9 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 10 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 11 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 12 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 13 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 14 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 15 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 16 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Journal
Day 4 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011: I think I'm just roughly going to follow the idea of avoiding snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and see where it gets me. I'm too busy now to worry about dieting. When I eat, I can ask myself, "Is this the meal of a thin person?"
Day 5 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 6 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 7 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 8 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 9 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 10 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 11 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 12 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 13 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 14 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 15 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 16 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Saturday, October 15, 2011: It is amazing how much I can eat when I have no timing restrictions. This morning, I weighed 207.8. I decided, frankly, to bribe myself. There is a cheap piece of jewelry that I got from my parents that is a copper and black enamel pendant in the shape of a Gaelic small letter k. I love it. I went to the jeweler today to pick up my ring and I got a quote of $300 - $350 to get it made in 14K gold and enamel. Tom said I could go ahead and get it made. I'm not one to spend a lot on clothing, jewelry or makeup, so he knows how much I'd like it. What he doesn't know is that it is a personal bribe. I am going to bring it in to be made, and it will take about two weeks, but I won't wear it until I have gone 100 days (doesn't have to be consecutive) of eating three meals per day with no snacks and no outside calories and no sweets and a maximum of 300 calories at breakfast, 500 calories at lunch, and 700 calories at dinner. The calories will be estimated because I am absolutely not going back to Lean Cuisine.
Will it work? I don't know, but high-fiber did nothing but make me want to eat everything in sight. I return to work on Monday and will be swamped because I took on a volunteer position with the Boy Scouts and have to make sure Anne applies to more than one school. She's already gotten in that one school, and she really likes it, but she has put very little effort into deciding how to spend the next four years of her life.
Day 1 – Sunday, October 16, 2011:
Day 2 – Monday, October 17, 2011:
Day 3 – Tuesday, October 18, 2011: That was an utter flop! Now I'm swamped in trying to work. Yesterday, Katie had a swim meet, Ellie had to be taken to Lego Robotics, Tommy needed ingredients for a recipe for his German class, and Anne needed to be picked up from the U at 8 PM. Tonight, Ellie and Katie had music lessons, and Tommy had a caddy dinner. How am I supposed to worry about my weight? I decided just to ask myself this question, "Am I eating as a thin person?" At the caddy dinner, I was tempted to have two desserts but had one. I weighed 207.8 this morning, which wasn't too bad considering how much I've pigged out since deciding to count calories.
Weights
Day 4 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011: 207.6
Day 5 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 6 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 7 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 8 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 9 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 10 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 11 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 12 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 13 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 14 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 15 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 16 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
Journal
Day 4 – Wednesday, October 19, 2011: I think I'm just roughly going to follow the idea of avoiding snacks and sweets on all days except Sundays and see where it gets me. I'm too busy now to worry about dieting. When I eat, I can ask myself, "Is this the meal of a thin person?"
Day 5 – Thursday, October 20, 2011:
Day 6 – Friday, October 21, 2011:
Day 7 – Saturday, October 22, 2011:
Day 8 – Sunday, October 23, 2011:
Day 9 – Monday, October 24, 2011:
Day 10 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011:
Day 11 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
Day 12 – Thursday, October 27, 2011:
Day 13 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 14 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 15 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 16 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
October 24, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
The Many Point Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, October 24, 2011: 206.0 (This month's goal is 178.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 28.0 pounds.)
Inspiration sometimes can come in the strangest ways. On October 16, 2011, I was scheduled to open the church nursery before 10:30 AM Mass. I arrived at 10:25 PM to see two families with young children and two volunteers waiting for me to open the nursery. After the nursery was set up, Anne said, "I have a saying that might help you: There is no such thing as on time. There is either late or early." That saying, which came from her director when she was a camp counselor this summer, struck me as insighful into the mind of someone like me who more often than not arrives late. It's not that I intend to run late. It's that I am trying to be on time but not early.
Over the next few days, I thought of how this saying might be applied to my weight problem. I used the same format of the saying to come up with this saying: "There is no such thing as full. There is either stuffed or satisfied."
On that Friday night, at dinner, I was trying to figure out how to eat to satisfied. I failed, but the failure gave me another insight. When I eat, I'm already satisfied and am not hungry. I eat until there is a change, and that change is from satisfied to full or stuffed.
On the morning of October 22, I had breakfast at an all-you-can-eat buffet which was provided with the hotel room. I was satisfied when I ate, so I could not expect to eat until there was a change because the change would be from satisfied to stuffed. Instead, I ate a small amount -- a small bowl of oatmeal, 1/2 glass of orange juice, and a few strawberries. Now I wait to experience hunger so that at my next meal I can eat until there is a change from hungry to not hungry.
On October 24, I decided also to follow the modified No S Diet that I had followed for more than a year: no snacks, no sweets, and everything in front of you before you take one bite except on Sundays and two Exception Days per month.
I later changed my mind, realizing that the one key factor in successful weight loss is to experience a change from hunger to no hunger rather than from no hunger to stuffed. That is what I will track and only that. No pedometer. No strengthening exercises. No tracking of Exception Days. No monitoring of snacking. No monitoring of sweets. One thing. The change, like a doppler effect, from hunger to no hunger.
How could I track that doppler effect of going from hunger to no hunger? How could I tolerate hunger? I decided to track it by following the Novena Diet approach of nine days of dieting followed by one full month of not dieting.
I look upon October 24 as Day 1 of my diet because that is the day when I decided to focus on experiencing the doppler effect of going from hunger to satisfaction rather than satisfaction to stuffed. My first Novena Diet started on October 26. It is nothing more than paying attention to my body and striving to eat so little that I actually experience hunger -- distinctive hunger -- prior to the next meal.
Today, there is such an emphasis on people not being hungry at all. There is a difference between going hungry and being hungry, since going hungry implies unending hunger. I have wondered for years if the origin for the obesity epidemic is a change in the perception of hunger. Maybe it is. Maye people now eat until they are full rather than satisfied because they start eating when they are satisifed rather than hungry. What hasn't changed is people eat unti there is a change. People still need a change to signal to them to stop eating. The signal is different if they start eating when they are hungry. Maybe the key to losing weight is to be in the habit that you start eating when you are hungry but still have three meals per day. This combination leads to moderate eating at meals.
Journal:
Day 1 – Saturday, October 22, 2011: I am starting over again. We are traveling this weekend looking at colleges, so I am in a hotel lobby right now typing away and need to get back to the room. My daughter last Sunday told me a saying that her director from camp had told her: "There is no such thing as 'on time'. There is only 'early' or 'late'". I realized that there is an equivalent saying for weight management: "There is no such thing as 'full'. There is only 'stuffed' or 'satisfied'. I realized that what I have been doing is eating to 'stuffed' and what I need to be doing is eating to 'satisfied.'
Day 2 – Sunday, October 23, 2011: At the heart of The No S Diet is the idea of moderation. I interpreted moderation as "portion control" and disregarded it. Now I have a change of heart. This morning, I wasn't sure if I was hungry or not when I went to breakfast. The hotel had make-your-own-waffle ingredients so I made a waffle that was the size of a dinner plate. I had a cup of orange juice and half that waffle. I asked myself if I was definitely satisfied, and I was. This is a Sunday. I have no desire whatsoever to make it an S Day and eat whatever is in sight. My desire is to monitor how I feel and eat only to satisfied. Isn't this like Intuitive Eating with its emphasis on eating according to internal hunger signals? Yes, it is, but it is also like The No S Diet. With The No S Diet, the emphasis is on eating at mealtime, and I think that is very critical to weight management. I cannot be monitoring how I feel 24 X 7 and expect to live well. Instead, I'll have points in time when I pay attention to how much I want to eat, and those points in time are called meals!
Day 1 – Monday, October 24, 2011: Yesterday, during 10:30 Mass, I felt what was distinctively hunger. It felt good, but I sure am not used to it. For the rest of the day, I ate quite a lot. That's OK. I decided to return to the No S ideas of having special days when there are no rules. I am going to track my experience of hunger.
10 PM: I changed my mind again. All I am going to do is track the change from hunger to no hunger. It's like a doppler effect.
Day 2 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011: I did well until dinner, and the effect of experiencing hunger was that I overate. Isn't that what all the books say? Nighttime eating is a response, so they say, to not eating enough during the day. Yes, it was. It is true. However, this may be just what I need to adjust to the experience of hunger. I am going to bribe myself again. I've got a $100 off coupon to buy a Coach bag, but the coupon expires on November 6. I'm going to experience hunger in order to buy a new Coach bag.
10 PM: It occurred to me that what I need is a push in the right direction. Maybe I'll go back to the format of the Novena Diet and work on experiencing hunger. That would mean nine days of trying to achieve hunger. That would be until November 3.
My job is really, really boring. It's the same company where I was in the spring, but in the spring I landed in one of highest-visibility projects for the entire year for the company. I heard from a co-worker last week that the president of the company had told the Sr. VP to do whatever it took to get me on as an employee. I was working with a Big Four consultant who was trying to get me to consider hiring on, and I told him I walked away from a job when they said they wanted four hours per week during the summer.
It's nice to know that I was so valued. It helps as I consider this unending weight problem: I keep thinking I'm circling around trying to find the real problem. Tom keeps saying, "Eat less, exercise more." Of course that's true, but the real problem is this: Why do I want to eat so much?"
The idea of a Novena Diet appeals to me. For the next nine days, I don't think I'll write at all. It's a time for reflection and prayer.
Day 3 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011: I did great until about 5 and then ate a lot. Why? I think I'm reacting to the experience of hunger. Tomorrow I try again!
10 PM: When I followed the Novena Diet, I went on a 1,000 calorie diet for nine straight days and then took a full month off. If I went over 1,000 calories, I stopped the diet and paused an entire month. That gave me a lot of incentive to not go off the diet. Now I have much squishier criteria for whether or not I am following the diet: try to get to a sense of hunger before eating a meal. I think, instead, what I should do is strive to eat like a thin person. A thin person does not wolf down an entire bowl of popcorn. A thin person does not eat frozen waffles while standing in the kitchen. A thin person does not eat two bowls of ice cream.
I know. I know the difference between how a thin person eats and how I am accustomed to eating. It's not a life sentence to eat like a thin person. Instead, it is training for being a thin person. I can handle nine days of this training.
Day 4 – Thursday, October 27, 2011: Today the Star Tribune has a long article titled "Dieters face a long battle with hunger, study finds" by Los Angeles Times writer Melissa Healy. One year after completing a calorie-restricted diet, the dieters "said they were just as hungry as they had been upon completion of their crash diets and significantly hungrier than they had been before their diets had begun." I started out my diet search by trying to find a diet in which I did not have to deal with hunger. As a result, I am still obese. Now I am taking a more realistic approach. Maybe what I need is the self-discipline to deal with intermittent hunger. Intermittent periods of calorie restriction may do the trick. This morning, I had a small bowl of Cheerios, a small glass of milk, and an apple. That, to me, is something a thin person might eat. It's a judgement call on my part to assess whether or not this would be the food eaten by a thin person. I think that Reinhard gets it right that most thin people tend not to eat sweets and tend to eat only at mealtime. While I am not making my diet to include these behaviors as a rule, I need to assess whether or not I actually am eating like a thin person.
10 PM: I overate again at and after dinner, so now I am thinking that my Novena Diet should return to nine days of calorie counting. I was traumatized back in 2002 and that's when dieting no longer worked. Maybe I am finally getting over the trauma. Maybe there really was nothing wrong with the diet that meant hunger for nine days followed by eating what I want for a month but trying to stay under the weight reached after nine days of dieting.
When I look back to 2001 - 2002, which is not often, I cannot imagine how I put one foot in front of the other. My youngest was a baby then, and she was best baby. My brother in law got us a whole bunch of baby books at Christmas that year, and I think sometimes of what a wonderful gift those books were because she loved to have me read to her.
Could it be that this whole weight loss adventure was nothing more than a distraction from pain which I could not face? I don't know. I have to go to bed. Tomorrow is the last day of volunteering for art presentations in school. I told my manager that I would not be able to work a full week this week because of commitments made prior to getting the job offer, and I have worked about 26 hours rather than 32 so far this week. Next week will be a whole lot better, and I am lucky to have a company that shows how much it values employees by allowing flexibility in work hours. Catholic guilt would get the better of me if I didn't make up the time, so I've got a stopwatch at work to track the hours I work.
I can do this. I can give up the distraction of weight loss and actually lose weight.
Day 5 – Friday, October 28, 2011: I am going back to the idea of eating like a thin person for nine straight days and then trying to maintain a lower weight for a month before trying again.
Day 6 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 7 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
What I Ate:
Day 4 - Thursday, October 27, 2011:
B: 1 apple, 1 small cup of milk (5 - 6 oz), 1 small bowl of Cheerios with milk
Day 5 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 6 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 7 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
The Many Point Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, October 24, 2011: 206.0 (This month's goal is 178.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 28.0 pounds.)
Inspiration sometimes can come in the strangest ways. On October 16, 2011, I was scheduled to open the church nursery before 10:30 AM Mass. I arrived at 10:25 PM to see two families with young children and two volunteers waiting for me to open the nursery. After the nursery was set up, Anne said, "I have a saying that might help you: There is no such thing as on time. There is either late or early." That saying, which came from her director when she was a camp counselor this summer, struck me as insighful into the mind of someone like me who more often than not arrives late. It's not that I intend to run late. It's that I am trying to be on time but not early.
Over the next few days, I thought of how this saying might be applied to my weight problem. I used the same format of the saying to come up with this saying: "There is no such thing as full. There is either stuffed or satisfied."
On that Friday night, at dinner, I was trying to figure out how to eat to satisfied. I failed, but the failure gave me another insight. When I eat, I'm already satisfied and am not hungry. I eat until there is a change, and that change is from satisfied to full or stuffed.
On the morning of October 22, I had breakfast at an all-you-can-eat buffet which was provided with the hotel room. I was satisfied when I ate, so I could not expect to eat until there was a change because the change would be from satisfied to stuffed. Instead, I ate a small amount -- a small bowl of oatmeal, 1/2 glass of orange juice, and a few strawberries. Now I wait to experience hunger so that at my next meal I can eat until there is a change from hungry to not hungry.
On October 24, I decided also to follow the modified No S Diet that I had followed for more than a year: no snacks, no sweets, and everything in front of you before you take one bite except on Sundays and two Exception Days per month.
I later changed my mind, realizing that the one key factor in successful weight loss is to experience a change from hunger to no hunger rather than from no hunger to stuffed. That is what I will track and only that. No pedometer. No strengthening exercises. No tracking of Exception Days. No monitoring of snacking. No monitoring of sweets. One thing. The change, like a doppler effect, from hunger to no hunger.
How could I track that doppler effect of going from hunger to no hunger? How could I tolerate hunger? I decided to track it by following the Novena Diet approach of nine days of dieting followed by one full month of not dieting.
I look upon October 24 as Day 1 of my diet because that is the day when I decided to focus on experiencing the doppler effect of going from hunger to satisfaction rather than satisfaction to stuffed. My first Novena Diet started on October 26. It is nothing more than paying attention to my body and striving to eat so little that I actually experience hunger -- distinctive hunger -- prior to the next meal.
Today, there is such an emphasis on people not being hungry at all. There is a difference between going hungry and being hungry, since going hungry implies unending hunger. I have wondered for years if the origin for the obesity epidemic is a change in the perception of hunger. Maybe it is. Maye people now eat until they are full rather than satisfied because they start eating when they are satisifed rather than hungry. What hasn't changed is people eat unti there is a change. People still need a change to signal to them to stop eating. The signal is different if they start eating when they are hungry. Maybe the key to losing weight is to be in the habit that you start eating when you are hungry but still have three meals per day. This combination leads to moderate eating at meals.
Journal:
Day 1 – Saturday, October 22, 2011: I am starting over again. We are traveling this weekend looking at colleges, so I am in a hotel lobby right now typing away and need to get back to the room. My daughter last Sunday told me a saying that her director from camp had told her: "There is no such thing as 'on time'. There is only 'early' or 'late'". I realized that there is an equivalent saying for weight management: "There is no such thing as 'full'. There is only 'stuffed' or 'satisfied'. I realized that what I have been doing is eating to 'stuffed' and what I need to be doing is eating to 'satisfied.'
Day 2 – Sunday, October 23, 2011: At the heart of The No S Diet is the idea of moderation. I interpreted moderation as "portion control" and disregarded it. Now I have a change of heart. This morning, I wasn't sure if I was hungry or not when I went to breakfast. The hotel had make-your-own-waffle ingredients so I made a waffle that was the size of a dinner plate. I had a cup of orange juice and half that waffle. I asked myself if I was definitely satisfied, and I was. This is a Sunday. I have no desire whatsoever to make it an S Day and eat whatever is in sight. My desire is to monitor how I feel and eat only to satisfied. Isn't this like Intuitive Eating with its emphasis on eating according to internal hunger signals? Yes, it is, but it is also like The No S Diet. With The No S Diet, the emphasis is on eating at mealtime, and I think that is very critical to weight management. I cannot be monitoring how I feel 24 X 7 and expect to live well. Instead, I'll have points in time when I pay attention to how much I want to eat, and those points in time are called meals!
Day 1 – Monday, October 24, 2011: Yesterday, during 10:30 Mass, I felt what was distinctively hunger. It felt good, but I sure am not used to it. For the rest of the day, I ate quite a lot. That's OK. I decided to return to the No S ideas of having special days when there are no rules. I am going to track my experience of hunger.
10 PM: I changed my mind again. All I am going to do is track the change from hunger to no hunger. It's like a doppler effect.
Day 2 – Tuesday, October 25, 2011: I did well until dinner, and the effect of experiencing hunger was that I overate. Isn't that what all the books say? Nighttime eating is a response, so they say, to not eating enough during the day. Yes, it was. It is true. However, this may be just what I need to adjust to the experience of hunger. I am going to bribe myself again. I've got a $100 off coupon to buy a Coach bag, but the coupon expires on November 6. I'm going to experience hunger in order to buy a new Coach bag.
10 PM: It occurred to me that what I need is a push in the right direction. Maybe I'll go back to the format of the Novena Diet and work on experiencing hunger. That would mean nine days of trying to achieve hunger. That would be until November 3.
My job is really, really boring. It's the same company where I was in the spring, but in the spring I landed in one of highest-visibility projects for the entire year for the company. I heard from a co-worker last week that the president of the company had told the Sr. VP to do whatever it took to get me on as an employee. I was working with a Big Four consultant who was trying to get me to consider hiring on, and I told him I walked away from a job when they said they wanted four hours per week during the summer.
It's nice to know that I was so valued. It helps as I consider this unending weight problem: I keep thinking I'm circling around trying to find the real problem. Tom keeps saying, "Eat less, exercise more." Of course that's true, but the real problem is this: Why do I want to eat so much?"
The idea of a Novena Diet appeals to me. For the next nine days, I don't think I'll write at all. It's a time for reflection and prayer.
Day 3 – Wednesday, October 26, 2011: I did great until about 5 and then ate a lot. Why? I think I'm reacting to the experience of hunger. Tomorrow I try again!
10 PM: When I followed the Novena Diet, I went on a 1,000 calorie diet for nine straight days and then took a full month off. If I went over 1,000 calories, I stopped the diet and paused an entire month. That gave me a lot of incentive to not go off the diet. Now I have much squishier criteria for whether or not I am following the diet: try to get to a sense of hunger before eating a meal. I think, instead, what I should do is strive to eat like a thin person. A thin person does not wolf down an entire bowl of popcorn. A thin person does not eat frozen waffles while standing in the kitchen. A thin person does not eat two bowls of ice cream.
I know. I know the difference between how a thin person eats and how I am accustomed to eating. It's not a life sentence to eat like a thin person. Instead, it is training for being a thin person. I can handle nine days of this training.
Day 4 – Thursday, October 27, 2011: Today the Star Tribune has a long article titled "Dieters face a long battle with hunger, study finds" by Los Angeles Times writer Melissa Healy. One year after completing a calorie-restricted diet, the dieters "said they were just as hungry as they had been upon completion of their crash diets and significantly hungrier than they had been before their diets had begun." I started out my diet search by trying to find a diet in which I did not have to deal with hunger. As a result, I am still obese. Now I am taking a more realistic approach. Maybe what I need is the self-discipline to deal with intermittent hunger. Intermittent periods of calorie restriction may do the trick. This morning, I had a small bowl of Cheerios, a small glass of milk, and an apple. That, to me, is something a thin person might eat. It's a judgement call on my part to assess whether or not this would be the food eaten by a thin person. I think that Reinhard gets it right that most thin people tend not to eat sweets and tend to eat only at mealtime. While I am not making my diet to include these behaviors as a rule, I need to assess whether or not I actually am eating like a thin person.
10 PM: I overate again at and after dinner, so now I am thinking that my Novena Diet should return to nine days of calorie counting. I was traumatized back in 2002 and that's when dieting no longer worked. Maybe I am finally getting over the trauma. Maybe there really was nothing wrong with the diet that meant hunger for nine days followed by eating what I want for a month but trying to stay under the weight reached after nine days of dieting.
When I look back to 2001 - 2002, which is not often, I cannot imagine how I put one foot in front of the other. My youngest was a baby then, and she was best baby. My brother in law got us a whole bunch of baby books at Christmas that year, and I think sometimes of what a wonderful gift those books were because she loved to have me read to her.
Could it be that this whole weight loss adventure was nothing more than a distraction from pain which I could not face? I don't know. I have to go to bed. Tomorrow is the last day of volunteering for art presentations in school. I told my manager that I would not be able to work a full week this week because of commitments made prior to getting the job offer, and I have worked about 26 hours rather than 32 so far this week. Next week will be a whole lot better, and I am lucky to have a company that shows how much it values employees by allowing flexibility in work hours. Catholic guilt would get the better of me if I didn't make up the time, so I've got a stopwatch at work to track the hours I work.
I can do this. I can give up the distraction of weight loss and actually lose weight.
Day 5 – Friday, October 28, 2011: I am going back to the idea of eating like a thin person for nine straight days and then trying to maintain a lower weight for a month before trying again.
Day 6 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 7 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
What I Ate:
Day 4 - Thursday, October 27, 2011:
B: 1 apple, 1 small cup of milk (5 - 6 oz), 1 small bowl of Cheerios with milk
Day 5 – Friday, October 28, 2011:
Day 6 – Saturday, October 29, 2011:
Day 7 – Sunday, October 30, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, October 31, 2011:
October 29, 2011: The Many Point Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
The Many Point Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, October 29, 2011: 209.0 (This month's goal is 178.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 31.0 pounds.)
Day 1 - October 29, 2011: I now weigh 209 and am going to keep a food diary and try to get below 200 and then maintain a weight below 205 for a month before I try to lose any more weight.
Day 2 - October 30, 2011: I changed my mind. I am going to go on the Novena Diet every first of the month through the ninth of the month. This will involve writing down everything I eat and trying to eat the minimum.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0 (My goal is to lose one pound per month.)
The Many Point Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, October 29, 2011: 209.0 (This month's goal is 178.0 pounds, and I am behind schedule by 31.0 pounds.)
Day 1 - October 29, 2011: I now weigh 209 and am going to keep a food diary and try to get below 200 and then maintain a weight below 205 for a month before I try to lose any more weight.
Day 2 - October 30, 2011: I changed my mind. I am going to go on the Novena Diet every first of the month through the ninth of the month. This will involve writing down everything I eat and trying to eat the minimum.
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
I think keeping a food diary for awhile to find out what foods work for you is a great idea. You will learn what you can eat at breakfast that will last 4 or 5 hours and the same for lunch and dinner. You also will quickly see what foods you have troubles with that might be trigger foods.
From what you have recorded in the past, it seems to me that you have very high carb and low protein and fat meals. I have found that a high protein breakfast with some fat will last me a long time. However, if I have cereal and fruit I am starving in a couple of hours. Now you will be able to see what foods actually work for you. It is not all about willpower.
I suggested awhile back reading the series on Hunger at gnolls.org J Stanton has completed this series and it is excellent. I highly recommend reading and rereading this series. I have them all printed out and still read and mark them up (my way of learning and remembering) And yes, he does have lovely photos on his site, but the real gem is his understanding of hunger and satiety.
From what you have recorded in the past, it seems to me that you have very high carb and low protein and fat meals. I have found that a high protein breakfast with some fat will last me a long time. However, if I have cereal and fruit I am starving in a couple of hours. Now you will be able to see what foods actually work for you. It is not all about willpower.
I suggested awhile back reading the series on Hunger at gnolls.org J Stanton has completed this series and it is excellent. I highly recommend reading and rereading this series. I have them all printed out and still read and mark them up (my way of learning and remembering) And yes, he does have lovely photos on his site, but the real gem is his understanding of hunger and satiety.
24.7 bmi Feb. 2019
26.1 bmi Sept. 2018
31.4 bmi July 2017
26.1 bmi Sept. 2018
31.4 bmi July 2017
November 10, 2011: The Novena Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
The Novena Diet:
Goal weight: 132.0 pounds.
(Month 1) Day 1 - Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0 (76.0 pounds to lose)
For nine days at the same time each month (5th to 13th, inclusive), count 1,000 calories per day. This is the length of a novena. Since I started this diet on the 10th of November, I will diet the first time from November 10th through 18th, inclusive.
For the rest of the month, maintain weight below the current weight up to the nearest weight ending in a "0" or "5". For example, if my ending weight is 201.8, my goal is to stay below 205 pounds.
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, November 1, 2011: 209.6
Day 2 – Wednesday, November 2, 2011: 209.2
Day 3 – Thursday, November 3, 2011: 208.8
Day 4 – Friday, November 4, 2011: 207.8
Day 1 – Saturday, November 5, 2011: 207.4
Day 2 – Sunday, November 6, 2011: 206.6
Day 1 – Monday, November 7, 2011: 207.0
Day 2 – Tuesday, November 8, 2011: 207.4
Day 3 – Wednesday, November 9, 2011:
Day 1 – Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0
Day 2 – Friday, November 11, 2011: 206.2
Day 6 – Saturday, November 12, 2011: 205.6
Day 7 – Sunday, November 13, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, November 14, 2011: 205.0
Day 9 – Tuesday, November 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Wednesday, November 16, 2011:
Day 11 – Thursday, November 17, 2011:
Day 12 – Friday, November 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Saturday, November 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Sunday, November 20, 2011:
Day 15 – Monday, November 21, 2011:
Day 16 – Tuesday, November 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Thursday, November 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Friday, November 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Saturday, November 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Sunday, November 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Monday, November 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Tuesday, November 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Wednesday, November 30, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, November 1, 2011: 209.6: I faced the music and stepped on the scale this morning: 209.6. I haven't weighed that much since the fall of 2008, just after I started The No S Diet. My diets have ended sooner or later, and the weight has returned sooner or later. This time around, I've just recorded how it happened.
Now what? I'm returning to The Novena Diet starting today, but I have a couple of changes to address problems I had with it. First of all, it is not a calorie-counting diet. Before I would count 1,000 calories per day and be something of a hermit during that time. I won't do that. Instead, I am going to write down what I eat and try to eat like a thin person. Recording how I eat and my daily weight will give me feedback to stay on track. Secondly, I will follow the Novena Diet for the first nine days of each month. I have a number of tasks that I do on the first of each month: give the dog her worm pill, put a new filter in the furnace, etc. This can be one of my tasks. By doing this, I avoid another pitfall of the diet, which is that I was constantly trying to figure out when I could have my nine day stretch of dieting.
I read earlier this week about a book called Willpower by Ray Baumeister. I ordered it from Amazon and will get it this week. He said that willpower was like a muscle that needs exercise and rest. Part of the attraction of The No S Diet was that I saw the S Day as rest and the rest of the week as exercise. The downfall for me was that following it without limiting portion size did not work, and I couldn't handle apples on plates next to meat.
I can now fit into two pair of pants only, and I can no longer wear my jeans. My weight really shot up.
8 PM: I decided that I would count calories. Breakfast: 300 max, Lunch: 500 max, and Dinner: 700 max. This will be my Novena Diet. Today was not a calorie counting day. In fact, it was a steal candy from Katie's Halloween bucket day.
Day 3 – Thursday, November 3, 2011: 208.8 I am now reading the book Willpower, and it makes an interesting argument for the elimination of snacking. If you have already not made a commitment to not do something, then you don't need willpower to continue. He calls it a "bright line", and that is why alcoholics can stop drinking especially if they think that it is a commandment from God. I did not do well again yesterday even though my weight went down again from its surge last week. I got home from work and grazed, especially in Halloween buckets. I think I can keep to a no snack rule permanently and that is a good start to losing weight.
Day 4 – Friday, November 4, 2011: 207.8 I think I am going to try just not having snacks for a time and see where it goes. I'll need to work on my definition of snack vs. meal.
Day 1 – Saturday, November 5, 2011: 207.4This book on will power is fascinating. I don't have time to read it right now, so I am skimming it, but I will be back to it! Willpower is limited, according to the authors. You have only so much. Actually, I can already see that it is a whole lot easier to diet if you don't snack because then you only exercise willpower at meals instead of all day every day.
I am still trying to define a meal, since I would like to have snacks. Last night, I had a plateful of food and then more food. There was no dessert. I think I will have the rule that a meal can include a salad before the main meal and a dessert after a meal but everything needs to be in front of me before I take one bite.
4 PM: I decided to change to today as Day 1 because I picked up a pendant that I had made for me: I got an Irish small letter K made in 14K gold using the design I had of one made in copper. It was $200 and well worth the splurge. This pendant, I think, will be a gift to myself for learning how to keep to this side of my bright line. I also decided on a name for this diet: The Bright Line Diet.
I spent the day with my daughter at the U of M learning about science and engineering there. The lunch was small, and I knew I would not eat until dinner. Tough! I ate what I could, and now it is 4 and I'm hungry but so what! Am I that dependent on food now? NO.... Somehow I bought into a societal myth that I should not experience any hunger ever. Now wonder I'm obese!
Now I'm home and have limited time to get chores done for the weekend before a return to work on Monday. I need a Bright Line because I don't have time for internal debates on diet.
9 PM: Tonight, I heard someone say, "That cookie is calling my name." That cookie was not calling my name because I'd already set the bright line of no snacks. I think The No S Diet has really helped me prepare for this diet because I got used to eating only at meals.
Day 2 – Sunday, November 6, 2011: 206.6 So far today, my breakfast and lunch have been small because I ate what I could eat immediately rather than wait to prepare a larger feast. I think I'm going to avoid trying any "portion control" at least until I have the no snack habit nailed down. It is amazing how little willpower is needed to rule out snacks vs. evaluate every moment of every day to determine if a snack is acceptable. It helps me to keep to my resolve that I am wearing a pendant which is a small Irish K that I got made for me in 14K gold to replace the one I had which was copper and kept turning backwards when I wore it. I'm wearing that pendant as my reminder to keep to my bright line. So far, so good... There is one exception to this diet, and that is communion at Mass. No Tic Tacs, no doughnuts at work unless it is breakfast, no, no, no... I'm pre-disqualified, as Reinhard wrote in his book.
8 PM: I ate a lot tonight, finishing up with a bowl of popcorn. I decided that the definition of a meal would be the start time and end time set by me because I am turning my wedding ring 360 degrees. There is a lot of the sacred in the physical: an example of this is the prayer shawl which my 12 year old got for free from the church. There is a group of women who knits shawls and then provides them free to anyone who wants them, and they are blessed. Well, there is meaning in just having the shawl around. A wedding ring is a symbol of fidelity. I cannot imagine a more effective way for me to commit to no snacks than by turning that ring which is a symbol of my fidelity to my husband. I feel somehow that I cheated him by marrying him when I weighed so much less than I do today.
Day 1 – Monday, November 7, 2011: 207.0 I decided to restart again because of the change i the definition of meal and because I like the neatness of restarting a diet when my weight ends in a whole number. At any rate, changing the definition of a meal worked really well this morning. I had Cheerios and then decided to have an apple. After eating the apple, I turned my ring back while asking myself, "Am I satisfied?" Yes, I was! I won't have any solid food now until lunch.
7 PM: I found it helpful to turn my ring rather than fill my plate because I had the tendency to eat everything on my plate no matter how I felt when I was having that last bite. I decided, however, that I should turn my ring when I think I may be satisfied, not when I am certain I am fully satisfied. Three times per day every day, I'll be satisfied. My goal is to learn the difference between satisfied and stuffed.
Day 2 – Tuesday, November 8, 2011: 207.4 I decided to add a question to myself when I turn my ring. Before a meal, I ask myself if I am definitely hungry. After a meal, I ask myself if I am possibly satisfied. I want the answer to both questions to be yes.
6:30 PM: I drove home at 5 and realized I had not thought about food since noon. When I got home, I turned my ring and polished off a bag of oatmeal raisin cookies (about 10), had dinner, had two apples, had several pieces of bread, etc.
Here's the deal: however I cut it, I'm used to eating more food than I need. I think I'm going back to that Novena Diet.
My job is sleep-inducing. My manager saw my work for the first time this weekend and was very complimentary. Good. Zero energy needs to go towards that job. It's nice to have a boring job when your life is exciting!
Day 3 – Wednesday, November 9, 2011: I am continuing my reading in the book Willpower, and it is giving me a lot of insight into the problems of dieting. There's a chapter later in the book on dieting, and I haven't even gotten to it yet! At any rate, the problem withe willpower is that it is a limited resource. With dieting, you mostly need to be "on" all the time -- using your willpower to resist food 24 X 7. The beauty of The No S Diet is that willpower can have a rest on weekends and between meals during the week. That approach did not work for me because I pigged out at every meal. With The Novena Diet, I had nine straight days of limiting eating to 1,000 calories per day followed by a full month of just trying to maintain the lower weight. That's it. There was intense willpower used for nine days followed my little to none since my appetite had been affected by the diet.
I've already spent more than 10 years trying to improve on The Novena Diet. Is this ridiculous or what? My oldest child leaves for college next year. I just plain don't want to spend much more time or effort on dieting. If it means tolerating The Novena Diet, so be it.
For nine days, I limit calories to 1,000 calories and don't weigh myself. After that, I weigh myself every day and try to maintain the weight under the next up 5 pound marker. I was 207 on Monday, so I will eat little to get below 205 and try to stay below 205 for a month. Next month, I'll go on the diet and my goal will be to try to stay below 200.
Slow it is... especially being as fat as I am. Still, I saw a picture of Oprah firewalking that a friend had posted on Facebook -- and, my God, I bet she's gained 50 pounds since I saw a picture of her when she went off the air which not that long ago at all. I was shocked! I cannot give up altogether on dieting, but my willpower needs a rest.
Day 1 – Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0 Yesterday, I learned that my contract is only through the end of November but they are trying to extend it to mid-December, have me take a two-week vacation, and then have me return in January. How did this happen? Did the recruiting firm misunderstand?
Meanwhile, I did well until evening and then ate to perhaps 1,700 calories. That book on Willpower is giving me some ideas. I think it might be best to have a set period of calorie restrictions every month. One of the problems I had with my old Novena Diet was I was always debating about when to start a nine day period of calorie restriction. First of the month isn't always a good time because there are too many holidays. I've got kid birthdays on the 12th, 14th, and 15th, so mid month isn't so great. The 4th of July is a big holiday for my husband's family, and we always go to his hometown to celebrate. I think that starting on the 5th of each month would be a good way to go. Since it is now the 10th, I think I'll start on the 10th today and then each month go back one day until I am starting on the 5th.
Another Day 1.
Day 2 – Friday, November 11, 2011: 206.2 I made it through yesterday. Rather than buy Lean Cuisine, which I often used during my Novena Diet, I bought very expensive ($3.99) chili with 230 calories. My goal is to go 8 more days and then maintain my weight below 205 until next month.
8 PM: My stomach has not yet growled but there is a certain warmth.
Day 6 – Saturday, November 12, 2011: 205.6 I had a little trouble sleeping last night because I was hungry. Tonight, I will be sleeping out in a tent since it is sleepout for the homeless night at our church, and Katie wants to go. I've been there a few years, and this year I am happy that it is going to go down only to about 40 degrees. The real work of this diet, I once realized, is when I am stuck at a weight or my weight even goes up during the last several days of the Novena. That's when my body is adjusting to the lower weight and it is hard to maintain my motivation.
12 PM: I just had a burrito and two entire grapefruit for a grand total of 500 calories.
Day 7 – Sunday, November 13, 2011: It turns out that not many parents are willing to spend a November night outside a church in Minnesota with 20+ teens. I did not get much sleep. I also managed to blow my 1,000 calories per day diet last night. Today, I spent a lot of time in bed, but I also continued reading in the book on Willpower. It's really changing my thinking on successful dieting. One recommendation is to have a goal and measure against that goal.
I never really had a goal. I wanted a process and then was willing to accept the weight that resulted from that process. Now I think I should have a goal, and my goal is the possibly unrealistic weight of 132, the weight I was when I started dieting at age 17. There is also a recommendation of intermediate goals, and I think the intermediate goal should be lose 5 pounds per month. I want to stay below 205 for this month.
If, in a year, I decide that losing 60 pounds is good enough, I'll be happy with the weight loss. I also think I will make it a hard and fast rule that I will only count calories between the 5th and the 13th of the month, giving myself a break for the rest of the month.
Day 8 – Monday, November 14, 2011: 205.0 I have been waffling on what to do, but now I think I will complete the nine days. This means I will count 1,000 calories per day until and including Friday. By then, my weight below 205.0 should be solidified enough that I'll stay below 205 even through Thanksgiving. One irritation I had with this diet was the need to constantly monitor my weight. Oh well... Life isn't perfect. This diet will get the job done.
I think I have had a certain complacency comparing my current weight to my starting weight. Now, comparing my current weight to my goal weight, I am horrified. The horror provides some needed modification.
In addition to counting calories, I am back to wearing a pedometer.
Day 9 – Tuesday, November 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Wednesday, November 16, 2011: 208.0 Today, I weighed 208 pounds. I was upset! I decided to go back to The Novena Diet as I had practiced it for 10 years. It's an intermittent diet. That means that starting from a Day 1 makes no sense. For 9 days, I count 1,000 calories per day and do not weigh myself.
Day 11 – Thursday, November 17, 2011: 207.0 I'm done with dieting, and surprisingly, I didn't want to eat that much. How much I eat today affects how much I weigh tomorrow. If I keep that in mind, maybe I won't pig out.
Day 12 – Friday, November 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Saturday, November 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Sunday, November 20, 2011:
Day 15 – Monday, November 21, 2011:
Day 16 – Tuesday, November 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Thursday, November 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Friday, November 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Saturday, November 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Sunday, November 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Monday, November 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Tuesday, November 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Wednesday, November 30, 2011:
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
The Novena Diet:
Goal weight: 132.0 pounds.
(Month 1) Day 1 - Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0 (76.0 pounds to lose)
For nine days at the same time each month (5th to 13th, inclusive), count 1,000 calories per day. This is the length of a novena. Since I started this diet on the 10th of November, I will diet the first time from November 10th through 18th, inclusive.
For the rest of the month, maintain weight below the current weight up to the nearest weight ending in a "0" or "5". For example, if my ending weight is 201.8, my goal is to stay below 205 pounds.
Weights:
Day 1 – Tuesday, November 1, 2011: 209.6
Day 2 – Wednesday, November 2, 2011: 209.2
Day 3 – Thursday, November 3, 2011: 208.8
Day 4 – Friday, November 4, 2011: 207.8
Day 1 – Saturday, November 5, 2011: 207.4
Day 2 – Sunday, November 6, 2011: 206.6
Day 1 – Monday, November 7, 2011: 207.0
Day 2 – Tuesday, November 8, 2011: 207.4
Day 3 – Wednesday, November 9, 2011:
Day 1 – Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0
Day 2 – Friday, November 11, 2011: 206.2
Day 6 – Saturday, November 12, 2011: 205.6
Day 7 – Sunday, November 13, 2011:
Day 8 – Monday, November 14, 2011: 205.0
Day 9 – Tuesday, November 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Wednesday, November 16, 2011:
Day 11 – Thursday, November 17, 2011:
Day 12 – Friday, November 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Saturday, November 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Sunday, November 20, 2011:
Day 15 – Monday, November 21, 2011:
Day 16 – Tuesday, November 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Thursday, November 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Friday, November 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Saturday, November 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Sunday, November 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Monday, November 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Tuesday, November 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Wednesday, November 30, 2011:
Journal:
Day 1 – Tuesday, November 1, 2011: 209.6: I faced the music and stepped on the scale this morning: 209.6. I haven't weighed that much since the fall of 2008, just after I started The No S Diet. My diets have ended sooner or later, and the weight has returned sooner or later. This time around, I've just recorded how it happened.
Now what? I'm returning to The Novena Diet starting today, but I have a couple of changes to address problems I had with it. First of all, it is not a calorie-counting diet. Before I would count 1,000 calories per day and be something of a hermit during that time. I won't do that. Instead, I am going to write down what I eat and try to eat like a thin person. Recording how I eat and my daily weight will give me feedback to stay on track. Secondly, I will follow the Novena Diet for the first nine days of each month. I have a number of tasks that I do on the first of each month: give the dog her worm pill, put a new filter in the furnace, etc. This can be one of my tasks. By doing this, I avoid another pitfall of the diet, which is that I was constantly trying to figure out when I could have my nine day stretch of dieting.
I read earlier this week about a book called Willpower by Ray Baumeister. I ordered it from Amazon and will get it this week. He said that willpower was like a muscle that needs exercise and rest. Part of the attraction of The No S Diet was that I saw the S Day as rest and the rest of the week as exercise. The downfall for me was that following it without limiting portion size did not work, and I couldn't handle apples on plates next to meat.
I can now fit into two pair of pants only, and I can no longer wear my jeans. My weight really shot up.
8 PM: I decided that I would count calories. Breakfast: 300 max, Lunch: 500 max, and Dinner: 700 max. This will be my Novena Diet. Today was not a calorie counting day. In fact, it was a steal candy from Katie's Halloween bucket day.
Day 3 – Thursday, November 3, 2011: 208.8 I am now reading the book Willpower, and it makes an interesting argument for the elimination of snacking. If you have already not made a commitment to not do something, then you don't need willpower to continue. He calls it a "bright line", and that is why alcoholics can stop drinking especially if they think that it is a commandment from God. I did not do well again yesterday even though my weight went down again from its surge last week. I got home from work and grazed, especially in Halloween buckets. I think I can keep to a no snack rule permanently and that is a good start to losing weight.
Day 4 – Friday, November 4, 2011: 207.8 I think I am going to try just not having snacks for a time and see where it goes. I'll need to work on my definition of snack vs. meal.
Day 1 – Saturday, November 5, 2011: 207.4This book on will power is fascinating. I don't have time to read it right now, so I am skimming it, but I will be back to it! Willpower is limited, according to the authors. You have only so much. Actually, I can already see that it is a whole lot easier to diet if you don't snack because then you only exercise willpower at meals instead of all day every day.
I am still trying to define a meal, since I would like to have snacks. Last night, I had a plateful of food and then more food. There was no dessert. I think I will have the rule that a meal can include a salad before the main meal and a dessert after a meal but everything needs to be in front of me before I take one bite.
4 PM: I decided to change to today as Day 1 because I picked up a pendant that I had made for me: I got an Irish small letter K made in 14K gold using the design I had of one made in copper. It was $200 and well worth the splurge. This pendant, I think, will be a gift to myself for learning how to keep to this side of my bright line. I also decided on a name for this diet: The Bright Line Diet.
I spent the day with my daughter at the U of M learning about science and engineering there. The lunch was small, and I knew I would not eat until dinner. Tough! I ate what I could, and now it is 4 and I'm hungry but so what! Am I that dependent on food now? NO.... Somehow I bought into a societal myth that I should not experience any hunger ever. Now wonder I'm obese!
Now I'm home and have limited time to get chores done for the weekend before a return to work on Monday. I need a Bright Line because I don't have time for internal debates on diet.
9 PM: Tonight, I heard someone say, "That cookie is calling my name." That cookie was not calling my name because I'd already set the bright line of no snacks. I think The No S Diet has really helped me prepare for this diet because I got used to eating only at meals.
Day 2 – Sunday, November 6, 2011: 206.6 So far today, my breakfast and lunch have been small because I ate what I could eat immediately rather than wait to prepare a larger feast. I think I'm going to avoid trying any "portion control" at least until I have the no snack habit nailed down. It is amazing how little willpower is needed to rule out snacks vs. evaluate every moment of every day to determine if a snack is acceptable. It helps me to keep to my resolve that I am wearing a pendant which is a small Irish K that I got made for me in 14K gold to replace the one I had which was copper and kept turning backwards when I wore it. I'm wearing that pendant as my reminder to keep to my bright line. So far, so good... There is one exception to this diet, and that is communion at Mass. No Tic Tacs, no doughnuts at work unless it is breakfast, no, no, no... I'm pre-disqualified, as Reinhard wrote in his book.
8 PM: I ate a lot tonight, finishing up with a bowl of popcorn. I decided that the definition of a meal would be the start time and end time set by me because I am turning my wedding ring 360 degrees. There is a lot of the sacred in the physical: an example of this is the prayer shawl which my 12 year old got for free from the church. There is a group of women who knits shawls and then provides them free to anyone who wants them, and they are blessed. Well, there is meaning in just having the shawl around. A wedding ring is a symbol of fidelity. I cannot imagine a more effective way for me to commit to no snacks than by turning that ring which is a symbol of my fidelity to my husband. I feel somehow that I cheated him by marrying him when I weighed so much less than I do today.
Day 1 – Monday, November 7, 2011: 207.0 I decided to restart again because of the change i the definition of meal and because I like the neatness of restarting a diet when my weight ends in a whole number. At any rate, changing the definition of a meal worked really well this morning. I had Cheerios and then decided to have an apple. After eating the apple, I turned my ring back while asking myself, "Am I satisfied?" Yes, I was! I won't have any solid food now until lunch.
7 PM: I found it helpful to turn my ring rather than fill my plate because I had the tendency to eat everything on my plate no matter how I felt when I was having that last bite. I decided, however, that I should turn my ring when I think I may be satisfied, not when I am certain I am fully satisfied. Three times per day every day, I'll be satisfied. My goal is to learn the difference between satisfied and stuffed.
Day 2 – Tuesday, November 8, 2011: 207.4 I decided to add a question to myself when I turn my ring. Before a meal, I ask myself if I am definitely hungry. After a meal, I ask myself if I am possibly satisfied. I want the answer to both questions to be yes.
6:30 PM: I drove home at 5 and realized I had not thought about food since noon. When I got home, I turned my ring and polished off a bag of oatmeal raisin cookies (about 10), had dinner, had two apples, had several pieces of bread, etc.
Here's the deal: however I cut it, I'm used to eating more food than I need. I think I'm going back to that Novena Diet.
My job is sleep-inducing. My manager saw my work for the first time this weekend and was very complimentary. Good. Zero energy needs to go towards that job. It's nice to have a boring job when your life is exciting!
Day 3 – Wednesday, November 9, 2011: I am continuing my reading in the book Willpower, and it is giving me a lot of insight into the problems of dieting. There's a chapter later in the book on dieting, and I haven't even gotten to it yet! At any rate, the problem withe willpower is that it is a limited resource. With dieting, you mostly need to be "on" all the time -- using your willpower to resist food 24 X 7. The beauty of The No S Diet is that willpower can have a rest on weekends and between meals during the week. That approach did not work for me because I pigged out at every meal. With The Novena Diet, I had nine straight days of limiting eating to 1,000 calories per day followed by a full month of just trying to maintain the lower weight. That's it. There was intense willpower used for nine days followed my little to none since my appetite had been affected by the diet.
I've already spent more than 10 years trying to improve on The Novena Diet. Is this ridiculous or what? My oldest child leaves for college next year. I just plain don't want to spend much more time or effort on dieting. If it means tolerating The Novena Diet, so be it.
For nine days, I limit calories to 1,000 calories and don't weigh myself. After that, I weigh myself every day and try to maintain the weight under the next up 5 pound marker. I was 207 on Monday, so I will eat little to get below 205 and try to stay below 205 for a month. Next month, I'll go on the diet and my goal will be to try to stay below 200.
Slow it is... especially being as fat as I am. Still, I saw a picture of Oprah firewalking that a friend had posted on Facebook -- and, my God, I bet she's gained 50 pounds since I saw a picture of her when she went off the air which not that long ago at all. I was shocked! I cannot give up altogether on dieting, but my willpower needs a rest.
Day 1 – Thursday, November 10, 2011: 208.0 Yesterday, I learned that my contract is only through the end of November but they are trying to extend it to mid-December, have me take a two-week vacation, and then have me return in January. How did this happen? Did the recruiting firm misunderstand?
Meanwhile, I did well until evening and then ate to perhaps 1,700 calories. That book on Willpower is giving me some ideas. I think it might be best to have a set period of calorie restrictions every month. One of the problems I had with my old Novena Diet was I was always debating about when to start a nine day period of calorie restriction. First of the month isn't always a good time because there are too many holidays. I've got kid birthdays on the 12th, 14th, and 15th, so mid month isn't so great. The 4th of July is a big holiday for my husband's family, and we always go to his hometown to celebrate. I think that starting on the 5th of each month would be a good way to go. Since it is now the 10th, I think I'll start on the 10th today and then each month go back one day until I am starting on the 5th.
Another Day 1.
Day 2 – Friday, November 11, 2011: 206.2 I made it through yesterday. Rather than buy Lean Cuisine, which I often used during my Novena Diet, I bought very expensive ($3.99) chili with 230 calories. My goal is to go 8 more days and then maintain my weight below 205 until next month.
8 PM: My stomach has not yet growled but there is a certain warmth.
Day 6 – Saturday, November 12, 2011: 205.6 I had a little trouble sleeping last night because I was hungry. Tonight, I will be sleeping out in a tent since it is sleepout for the homeless night at our church, and Katie wants to go. I've been there a few years, and this year I am happy that it is going to go down only to about 40 degrees. The real work of this diet, I once realized, is when I am stuck at a weight or my weight even goes up during the last several days of the Novena. That's when my body is adjusting to the lower weight and it is hard to maintain my motivation.
12 PM: I just had a burrito and two entire grapefruit for a grand total of 500 calories.
Day 7 – Sunday, November 13, 2011: It turns out that not many parents are willing to spend a November night outside a church in Minnesota with 20+ teens. I did not get much sleep. I also managed to blow my 1,000 calories per day diet last night. Today, I spent a lot of time in bed, but I also continued reading in the book on Willpower. It's really changing my thinking on successful dieting. One recommendation is to have a goal and measure against that goal.
I never really had a goal. I wanted a process and then was willing to accept the weight that resulted from that process. Now I think I should have a goal, and my goal is the possibly unrealistic weight of 132, the weight I was when I started dieting at age 17. There is also a recommendation of intermediate goals, and I think the intermediate goal should be lose 5 pounds per month. I want to stay below 205 for this month.
If, in a year, I decide that losing 60 pounds is good enough, I'll be happy with the weight loss. I also think I will make it a hard and fast rule that I will only count calories between the 5th and the 13th of the month, giving myself a break for the rest of the month.
Day 8 – Monday, November 14, 2011: 205.0 I have been waffling on what to do, but now I think I will complete the nine days. This means I will count 1,000 calories per day until and including Friday. By then, my weight below 205.0 should be solidified enough that I'll stay below 205 even through Thanksgiving. One irritation I had with this diet was the need to constantly monitor my weight. Oh well... Life isn't perfect. This diet will get the job done.
I think I have had a certain complacency comparing my current weight to my starting weight. Now, comparing my current weight to my goal weight, I am horrified. The horror provides some needed modification.
In addition to counting calories, I am back to wearing a pedometer.
Day 9 – Tuesday, November 15, 2011:
Day 10 – Wednesday, November 16, 2011: 208.0 Today, I weighed 208 pounds. I was upset! I decided to go back to The Novena Diet as I had practiced it for 10 years. It's an intermittent diet. That means that starting from a Day 1 makes no sense. For 9 days, I count 1,000 calories per day and do not weigh myself.
Day 11 – Thursday, November 17, 2011: 207.0 I'm done with dieting, and surprisingly, I didn't want to eat that much. How much I eat today affects how much I weigh tomorrow. If I keep that in mind, maybe I won't pig out.
Day 12 – Friday, November 18, 2011:
Day 13 – Saturday, November 19, 2011:
Day 14 – Sunday, November 20, 2011:
Day 15 – Monday, November 21, 2011:
Day 16 – Tuesday, November 22, 2011:
Day 17 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011:
Day 18 – Thursday, November 24, 2011:
Day 19 – Friday, November 25, 2011:
Day 20 – Saturday, November 26, 2011:
Day 21 – Sunday, November 27, 2011:
Day 22 – Monday, November 28, 2011:
Day 23 – Tuesday, November 29, 2011:
Day 24 – Wednesday, November 30, 2011:
November 19, 2011: The Bright Line Diet
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
The Bright Line Diet:
Goal weight: 132.0 pounds.
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, November 19, 2011: 207.0 (75.0 pounds to lose)
Another day. Another Day 1. I am almost done with the Willpower book, and oh did it give me insight into why dieting doesn't work. What is needed is a habit which results in less eating but does not tax the willpower. Yesterday, at our work, beer is served at 3 PM. It's a company tradition. What is nice about it is that it is a chance for people to relax and talk. I went downstairs with someone who is on the MediFast Diet. She had beer -- she explained that she was allowing herself one beer. She then had fried chicken wings. She didn't explain ahead of time to me that she was having fried chicken wings. As described in the Willpower book, this is the what-the-hell effect, an effect that is extremely familiar to me. I, of course, said not a word to her.
My diet is to write down everything I eat before I eat it -- no exceptions. This provides flexibility to eat more when I want to eat more. It provides a deterrent to eating because I have to write down what I eat. It can be followed 100% of the time because I can easily excuse myself to go write down what I unexpectedly am offered ot eat.
Day 5 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011: 205.4 I think I am on to something as a result of reading that book on willpower, but my family laughed off hearing about yet another diet. Time will tell. The basic idea is that you set up your life with iron-clad rules that you follow so there is little willpower to actually follow them.
I did tell my children about willpower because it is applicable to other things in life, and besides -- the two who really need to increase their willpower were in the car as I drove them to school so they were a captive audience. The example I gave was our going to church when it is required on Sundays and Holy Days.
November 1 is a Holy Day. There is a Mass the evening before, but we could not attend because Anne was taking a math exam at the U. Tom was out of town, so we had to handle it ourselves. We all went to 7:30 AM Mass, making the three older late to school and the youngest (still in Catholic elementary school) unhappy about attending Mass twice that day because there would be Mass at school. There was no negotiation whatsoever on skipping Mass that day.
Did anyone complain about this? I did. I don't like Holy Days. Ellie did because she wanted to be put into before school care. The older three did not. They knew that this was a rule in our family and there was no way we weren't going.
There was little willpower for me in taking them because there is much greater willpower involved in re-visiting an ironclad rule. How would we change our family behavior without the adherence to going to church when required? Then we are down the path of many Catholics of skipping Mass on Sundays and then going perhaps a couple of times a year and then deciding you are spiritual if you walk in the woods. I don't fault the many people who take that path, but that's not a path I want to take.
When we were at Disneyland 6 - 7 years ago, we had passes for all day on Saturday and Sunday. Tom wanted to skip church. I said I didn't want to hear how we skipped church when the kids are teenagers. We attended a Spanish language Mass and stood in the way back, and that's OK: we were there.
It's actually a mortal sin not to attend Mass when required. It's a Bright Line rule. Having the Church dictate a Bright Line rule is easier than having me develop my own for dieting, but that's what I want to do. I think I need iron-clad rules that are followed 100% of the time so that there is little to no willpower involved in following them. I am easily following the rule to write down what I eat before I eat, but I added another one: chew each bite five times. That should also be easy to follow.
I then went back in my journal to find other diet books I had read that involved what the willpower book called "implementation rules", and I ordered three of them: The 7 Secrets of Thin People, Thin in a Fat World, and Act Thin, Stay Thin. I've been reading diet books for so long that all three of them are out of print so I had to get them from Amazon's used book sellers! They were long ago cleared off my bookshelves, but now I want them back.
7 PM: This is from page 229 of the Willpower book: "An implementation strategy...is a way to reduce the amount of time and effort you spend controlling your thoughts. Instead of making plans to reduce calories, you make highly specific plans for automatic behavior in certain situations, like what to do when you're tempted by fattening food at a party. An implementation intention is in the form of if-then: If xhappens. I will do y. The more you use this technique to transfer the control of your behavior to automatic processes, the less effort you will expend."
Exactly! I've been struggling with this concept for a long time, and here it is summarized in black and white. I thought of it as figuring out something that you can follow with "perfect compliance."
Now I'm ordering books that I remember had ideas for implementation intentions. Several years ago, I had three implementation intentions: sit when eating, eat without distraction, and take small bites. Looking back now, I see that they are pathetic intentions. There may be occasions when I cannot sit when eating, and the other two guidelines aren't so specific that I can know -- yes or no -- am I following them? Is eating while the radio is on eating without distraction? How small a bite is a small bite?
I'll do better coming up with implementation intentions now that I've read the book. It's a lot like deciding to go to Mass when the church says you must. It's black and white.
November 25, 2011: I am just groaning under the weight off all I ate yesterday and today. My bright line rule of not eating unless I wrote it down cracked when my niece brought treats to the Thanksgiving table, and I ate one without first getting up and recording it. When I got home yesterday, I recorded this great insight: Any rule that is flexible enough to allow for a Thanksgiving feast is too flexible to guarantee weight loss.
Today, with the diet off, I just gorged. There is no gluttony in me if gluttony is defined as a desire for fine foods. That's not why I overeat. Instead, I overeat to reach a state of satiety. My sense of what it takes to satisfy my appetite is so distorted that not even several ice cream sandwiches, an entire bowl of popcorn, and other food could dent the desire for more, more, more...
I did not feel full after yesterday's feast. I did not feel full after today's binge. What to do? I think I need to "fake it until you make it." I need to pretend to be thin and act that way until I am.
What I think I need to do specifically is take aim at a different sense of what it means to be full.
Saturday, November 26, 2011: I realized today that I have just proven to myself that it is futile to chase after a bright line rule because it would either be flexible enough to get me through Thanksgiving dinner or inflexible enough to guarantee weight loss, but it could not be both of these things. I have chased a mirage.
Now what? I am going to settle on habits that I can cultivate an follow for life. What are they? I have to figure that out.
Sunday, November 27, 2011: 207.4 I went back to my journal from 2005 and looked up information on one of the books, The 7 Secrets of Slim People. It has a similar philosophy to The No S Diet in that you cultivate habits. I did not give this diet much time at all. On Thanksgiving of 2005, I followed the habits of eating that allowed me to slowly eat whatever I wanted, and I ate a number of Queen Anne cherries in front of my brother in law who made a comment the next day to my husband. That was the end of that diet. It's too bad, too, because I think that the diet itself would have, over time, led to eating less because I would be forced to slow down in my eating (since I have to put food down between bites) and to choose to focus on eating (no distractions). I think it may have worked.
The No S Diet limits food to mealtime, but I have changed it so that I can eat as much as I want at those meals. Why not just limit my food intake to one plateful? Well, I'm stubborn. Long-term I don't believe portion control works.
Why am I still posting on this Web site? I may find that The No S Diet was a better approach, that's why. It's true I only got down to 196.6, but here I am at 207.4. Not good.
The No S Diet:
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, September 8, 2008: 215.0
The Bright Line Diet:
Goal weight: 132.0 pounds.
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, November 19, 2011: 207.0 (75.0 pounds to lose)
Another day. Another Day 1. I am almost done with the Willpower book, and oh did it give me insight into why dieting doesn't work. What is needed is a habit which results in less eating but does not tax the willpower. Yesterday, at our work, beer is served at 3 PM. It's a company tradition. What is nice about it is that it is a chance for people to relax and talk. I went downstairs with someone who is on the MediFast Diet. She had beer -- she explained that she was allowing herself one beer. She then had fried chicken wings. She didn't explain ahead of time to me that she was having fried chicken wings. As described in the Willpower book, this is the what-the-hell effect, an effect that is extremely familiar to me. I, of course, said not a word to her.
My diet is to write down everything I eat before I eat it -- no exceptions. This provides flexibility to eat more when I want to eat more. It provides a deterrent to eating because I have to write down what I eat. It can be followed 100% of the time because I can easily excuse myself to go write down what I unexpectedly am offered ot eat.
Day 5 – Wednesday, November 23, 2011: 205.4 I think I am on to something as a result of reading that book on willpower, but my family laughed off hearing about yet another diet. Time will tell. The basic idea is that you set up your life with iron-clad rules that you follow so there is little willpower to actually follow them.
I did tell my children about willpower because it is applicable to other things in life, and besides -- the two who really need to increase their willpower were in the car as I drove them to school so they were a captive audience. The example I gave was our going to church when it is required on Sundays and Holy Days.
November 1 is a Holy Day. There is a Mass the evening before, but we could not attend because Anne was taking a math exam at the U. Tom was out of town, so we had to handle it ourselves. We all went to 7:30 AM Mass, making the three older late to school and the youngest (still in Catholic elementary school) unhappy about attending Mass twice that day because there would be Mass at school. There was no negotiation whatsoever on skipping Mass that day.
Did anyone complain about this? I did. I don't like Holy Days. Ellie did because she wanted to be put into before school care. The older three did not. They knew that this was a rule in our family and there was no way we weren't going.
There was little willpower for me in taking them because there is much greater willpower involved in re-visiting an ironclad rule. How would we change our family behavior without the adherence to going to church when required? Then we are down the path of many Catholics of skipping Mass on Sundays and then going perhaps a couple of times a year and then deciding you are spiritual if you walk in the woods. I don't fault the many people who take that path, but that's not a path I want to take.
When we were at Disneyland 6 - 7 years ago, we had passes for all day on Saturday and Sunday. Tom wanted to skip church. I said I didn't want to hear how we skipped church when the kids are teenagers. We attended a Spanish language Mass and stood in the way back, and that's OK: we were there.
It's actually a mortal sin not to attend Mass when required. It's a Bright Line rule. Having the Church dictate a Bright Line rule is easier than having me develop my own for dieting, but that's what I want to do. I think I need iron-clad rules that are followed 100% of the time so that there is little to no willpower involved in following them. I am easily following the rule to write down what I eat before I eat, but I added another one: chew each bite five times. That should also be easy to follow.
I then went back in my journal to find other diet books I had read that involved what the willpower book called "implementation rules", and I ordered three of them: The 7 Secrets of Thin People, Thin in a Fat World, and Act Thin, Stay Thin. I've been reading diet books for so long that all three of them are out of print so I had to get them from Amazon's used book sellers! They were long ago cleared off my bookshelves, but now I want them back.
7 PM: This is from page 229 of the Willpower book: "An implementation strategy...is a way to reduce the amount of time and effort you spend controlling your thoughts. Instead of making plans to reduce calories, you make highly specific plans for automatic behavior in certain situations, like what to do when you're tempted by fattening food at a party. An implementation intention is in the form of if-then: If xhappens. I will do y. The more you use this technique to transfer the control of your behavior to automatic processes, the less effort you will expend."
Exactly! I've been struggling with this concept for a long time, and here it is summarized in black and white. I thought of it as figuring out something that you can follow with "perfect compliance."
Now I'm ordering books that I remember had ideas for implementation intentions. Several years ago, I had three implementation intentions: sit when eating, eat without distraction, and take small bites. Looking back now, I see that they are pathetic intentions. There may be occasions when I cannot sit when eating, and the other two guidelines aren't so specific that I can know -- yes or no -- am I following them? Is eating while the radio is on eating without distraction? How small a bite is a small bite?
I'll do better coming up with implementation intentions now that I've read the book. It's a lot like deciding to go to Mass when the church says you must. It's black and white.
November 25, 2011: I am just groaning under the weight off all I ate yesterday and today. My bright line rule of not eating unless I wrote it down cracked when my niece brought treats to the Thanksgiving table, and I ate one without first getting up and recording it. When I got home yesterday, I recorded this great insight: Any rule that is flexible enough to allow for a Thanksgiving feast is too flexible to guarantee weight loss.
Today, with the diet off, I just gorged. There is no gluttony in me if gluttony is defined as a desire for fine foods. That's not why I overeat. Instead, I overeat to reach a state of satiety. My sense of what it takes to satisfy my appetite is so distorted that not even several ice cream sandwiches, an entire bowl of popcorn, and other food could dent the desire for more, more, more...
I did not feel full after yesterday's feast. I did not feel full after today's binge. What to do? I think I need to "fake it until you make it." I need to pretend to be thin and act that way until I am.
What I think I need to do specifically is take aim at a different sense of what it means to be full.
Saturday, November 26, 2011: I realized today that I have just proven to myself that it is futile to chase after a bright line rule because it would either be flexible enough to get me through Thanksgiving dinner or inflexible enough to guarantee weight loss, but it could not be both of these things. I have chased a mirage.
Now what? I am going to settle on habits that I can cultivate an follow for life. What are they? I have to figure that out.
Sunday, November 27, 2011: 207.4 I went back to my journal from 2005 and looked up information on one of the books, The 7 Secrets of Slim People. It has a similar philosophy to The No S Diet in that you cultivate habits. I did not give this diet much time at all. On Thanksgiving of 2005, I followed the habits of eating that allowed me to slowly eat whatever I wanted, and I ate a number of Queen Anne cherries in front of my brother in law who made a comment the next day to my husband. That was the end of that diet. It's too bad, too, because I think that the diet itself would have, over time, led to eating less because I would be forced to slow down in my eating (since I have to put food down between bites) and to choose to focus on eating (no distractions). I think it may have worked.
The No S Diet limits food to mealtime, but I have changed it so that I can eat as much as I want at those meals. Why not just limit my food intake to one plateful? Well, I'm stubborn. Long-term I don't believe portion control works.
Why am I still posting on this Web site? I may find that The No S Diet was a better approach, that's why. It's true I only got down to 196.6, but here I am at 207.4. Not good.
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:37 am, edited 9 times in total.
I have occasionally stopped in and am encouraged for you that something seems to be shifting. I do fear a bit for you that the adherence to your Novena diet will create urges to subconsciously "make up the difference" on non-novena days, but they could also work to help you see that you can get used to smaller amounts of food without thinking of it as portion control, and possible even enjoying eating less the rest of the time. As those who fast know, it is not what you do while you fast that is as important as what you do after the fast.
I find that there are days I know (from experience) I eat about 1500 calories, and it is plenty, but I rebelled in the past at having to aim at that amount. But your acceptance that there will be times that willpower is appropriate is going to make a big difference, I think, and for the good. And I'm glad that you have looked and seen that what you have been doing has not made much of a difference in your weight. It just doesn't seem possible that you really need the food that keeps you at the weight you are, though I am not one to say we need eat only what our body needs to be its thinnest. I wish you the best with this next phase, especially with the holidays coming up.
I apologize for not reading everything you have written before posting and hope that my comments are seen as support.
I find that there are days I know (from experience) I eat about 1500 calories, and it is plenty, but I rebelled in the past at having to aim at that amount. But your acceptance that there will be times that willpower is appropriate is going to make a big difference, I think, and for the good. And I'm glad that you have looked and seen that what you have been doing has not made much of a difference in your weight. It just doesn't seem possible that you really need the food that keeps you at the weight you are, though I am not one to say we need eat only what our body needs to be its thinnest. I wish you the best with this next phase, especially with the holidays coming up.
I apologize for not reading everything you have written before posting and hope that my comments are seen as support.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Day 1 – Thursday, December 1, 2011: 206.2
Day 2 – Friday, December 2, 2011: 206.2
Day 3 – Saturday, December 3, 2011:
Day 4 – Sunday, December 4, 2011:
Day 5 – Monday, December 5, 2011:
Day 1 – Thursday, December 1, 2011: I am reading the book Act Thin, Stay Thin, an out of print book that I reordered from Amazon. In it, the author said you need to look at beliefs that you hold that my keep you from losing weight. I realized that my biggest belief about weight is that losing weight and keeping it off would make me feel like someone who is starving. I had read this in a book called The Obesity Epidemic, and I believed it. Part of this author's program is to reset your beliefs by coming up with a helpful statement and repeating it several times per day. Here's mine, which I crafted last night: "I feel better light and fit."
Day 2 – Friday, December 2, 2011: I suspect I'll be circling back to have some of The No S Diet in this approach to weight loss. The first goal in the book is to develop a mantra of sorts, something I tell myself that is positive several times per day. I decided I wanted to broaden it beyond my weight issue, and so I am working on what exactly I want to tell myself about myself that I repeat several times per day.
Actually, I think that I should settle on one thing today and then just go on to the other chapters of the book and then return to this idea. I think I'll start with "I am calm and caring." The overeating of the last two days seems to be associated with rushing. I tend to wolf down food as I am doing other things. There needs to be room in my life for me.
Day 3 – Saturday, December 3, 2011: I have noticed a tendency to eat instead of drink, and I never ever drink water. My first goal is to have 8 8-ounce glasses of water per day and see how it affects my eating. I have not experienced any hunger but I do have the desire to drink. Without considering water, I tend to have milk or juice.
Day 4 – Sunday, December 4, 2011: I revised the tracking sheet that came with the book and will be using it starting tomorrow. Meanwhile, I have an incredibly busy week ahead of me: Tom is out of town, and the kid activities are piled one on top of each other: 3 tomorrow, 4 on Tuesday, 3 on Wednesday, 3 on Thursday, and 2 on Friday. How the heck am I going to get any work done? I have a deliverable on Tuesday and have spent part of the weekend working on it because I think I'm going to "work at home" on Thursday so I can get new tires on the car and attend Mass for the Holy Day. No wonder I eat out of stress!
Day 5 – Monday, December 5, 2011:
Day 2 – Friday, December 2, 2011: 206.2
Day 3 – Saturday, December 3, 2011:
Day 4 – Sunday, December 4, 2011:
Day 5 – Monday, December 5, 2011:
Day 1 – Thursday, December 1, 2011: I am reading the book Act Thin, Stay Thin, an out of print book that I reordered from Amazon. In it, the author said you need to look at beliefs that you hold that my keep you from losing weight. I realized that my biggest belief about weight is that losing weight and keeping it off would make me feel like someone who is starving. I had read this in a book called The Obesity Epidemic, and I believed it. Part of this author's program is to reset your beliefs by coming up with a helpful statement and repeating it several times per day. Here's mine, which I crafted last night: "I feel better light and fit."
Day 2 – Friday, December 2, 2011: I suspect I'll be circling back to have some of The No S Diet in this approach to weight loss. The first goal in the book is to develop a mantra of sorts, something I tell myself that is positive several times per day. I decided I wanted to broaden it beyond my weight issue, and so I am working on what exactly I want to tell myself about myself that I repeat several times per day.
Actually, I think that I should settle on one thing today and then just go on to the other chapters of the book and then return to this idea. I think I'll start with "I am calm and caring." The overeating of the last two days seems to be associated with rushing. I tend to wolf down food as I am doing other things. There needs to be room in my life for me.
Day 3 – Saturday, December 3, 2011: I have noticed a tendency to eat instead of drink, and I never ever drink water. My first goal is to have 8 8-ounce glasses of water per day and see how it affects my eating. I have not experienced any hunger but I do have the desire to drink. Without considering water, I tend to have milk or juice.
Day 4 – Sunday, December 4, 2011: I revised the tracking sheet that came with the book and will be using it starting tomorrow. Meanwhile, I have an incredibly busy week ahead of me: Tom is out of town, and the kid activities are piled one on top of each other: 3 tomorrow, 4 on Tuesday, 3 on Wednesday, 3 on Thursday, and 2 on Friday. How the heck am I going to get any work done? I have a deliverable on Tuesday and have spent part of the weekend working on it because I think I'm going to "work at home" on Thursday so I can get new tires on the car and attend Mass for the Holy Day. No wonder I eat out of stress!
Day 5 – Monday, December 5, 2011:
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:28 am, edited 5 times in total.
Won't your body 'want' more food if you are used to eating more food? I certainly found that I had to retrain my body to not get really hungry without snacks or desserts whenever I wanted, took a couple of weeks to readjust to that.Kathleen wrote:Starting again, this time focusing on how much food my body wants.
If I may be so bold:
I was browsing this topic in response to a conversation with a colleague and remembered the most recent comments here.
I'm cutting and pasting from an abstract on the relationship between portion size and satiety. The url address follows.
"The influence of food portion size and energy density on energy intake: implications for weight management 1,2,3,4
The increase in the prevalence of obesity has coincided with an increase in portion sizes of foods both inside and outside the home, suggesting that larger portions may play a role in the obesity epidemic. Although it will be difficult to establish a causal relationship between increasing portion size and obesity, data indicate that portion size does influence energy intake. Several well-controlled, laboratory-based studies have shown that providing older children and adults with larger food portions can lead to significant increases in energy intake. This effect has been demonstrated for snacks and a variety of single meals and shown to persist over a 2-d period. [b][u]Despite increases in intake, individuals presented with large portions generally do not report or respond to increased levels of fullness, suggesting that hunger and satiety signals are ignored or overridden. [/u][/b]One strategy to address the effect of portion size is decreasing the energy density (kilojoules per gram; kilocalories per gram) of foods. Several studies have demonstrated that eating low-energy-dense foods (such as fruits, vegetables, and soups) maintains satiety while reducing energy intake. In a clinical trial, advising individuals to eat portions of low-energy-dense foods was a more successful weight loss strategy than fat reduction coupled with restriction of portion sizes. Eating satisfying portions of low-energy-dense foods can help to enhance satiety and control hunger while restricting energy intake for weight management.
http://www.ajcn.org/content/82/1/236S.long
I know for myself, over the 23 months on No S, I have become accustomed to ever smaller portions of energy-dense foods without even intending so, so that a typical lunch or dinner often has about a 3-oz. serving of meat and about a cup of grain (often less at lunch) or the equivalent in bread, pasta, or potato, plus an amount of veggies and fruit to cover the rest of the plate. When protein and starch are mixed in casseroles or such, they cover 1/2 or less of the plate. I almost always add a fat source such as full-fat cheese, nuts, avocado, olives, or oils, usually the equivalent of 1-2 tablespoons of oil. I feel sated to different levels at different times by the end of the meal even with the same amount of food, but find that about an hour later, I feel equally content.
If I eat larger portions than this of energy-dense foods, I am often not very hungry for the next meal.
No matter what you put on your plate at this point, I hope the willpower lessons are helping you get from meal to meal.
I was browsing this topic in response to a conversation with a colleague and remembered the most recent comments here.
I'm cutting and pasting from an abstract on the relationship between portion size and satiety. The url address follows.
"The influence of food portion size and energy density on energy intake: implications for weight management 1,2,3,4
The increase in the prevalence of obesity has coincided with an increase in portion sizes of foods both inside and outside the home, suggesting that larger portions may play a role in the obesity epidemic. Although it will be difficult to establish a causal relationship between increasing portion size and obesity, data indicate that portion size does influence energy intake. Several well-controlled, laboratory-based studies have shown that providing older children and adults with larger food portions can lead to significant increases in energy intake. This effect has been demonstrated for snacks and a variety of single meals and shown to persist over a 2-d period. [b][u]Despite increases in intake, individuals presented with large portions generally do not report or respond to increased levels of fullness, suggesting that hunger and satiety signals are ignored or overridden. [/u][/b]One strategy to address the effect of portion size is decreasing the energy density (kilojoules per gram; kilocalories per gram) of foods. Several studies have demonstrated that eating low-energy-dense foods (such as fruits, vegetables, and soups) maintains satiety while reducing energy intake. In a clinical trial, advising individuals to eat portions of low-energy-dense foods was a more successful weight loss strategy than fat reduction coupled with restriction of portion sizes. Eating satisfying portions of low-energy-dense foods can help to enhance satiety and control hunger while restricting energy intake for weight management.
http://www.ajcn.org/content/82/1/236S.long
I know for myself, over the 23 months on No S, I have become accustomed to ever smaller portions of energy-dense foods without even intending so, so that a typical lunch or dinner often has about a 3-oz. serving of meat and about a cup of grain (often less at lunch) or the equivalent in bread, pasta, or potato, plus an amount of veggies and fruit to cover the rest of the plate. When protein and starch are mixed in casseroles or such, they cover 1/2 or less of the plate. I almost always add a fat source such as full-fat cheese, nuts, avocado, olives, or oils, usually the equivalent of 1-2 tablespoons of oil. I feel sated to different levels at different times by the end of the meal even with the same amount of food, but find that about an hour later, I feel equally content.
If I eat larger portions than this of energy-dense foods, I am often not very hungry for the next meal.
No matter what you put on your plate at this point, I hope the willpower lessons are helping you get from meal to meal.
Last edited by oolala53 on Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
oolala53,
My very first discovery in observing my eating and sense of hunger is that I apparently have no hunger now that I am eating whenever I want. Well, it is a surprise believe it or not. Eating is basically a break from work for me. I'm swamped at the moment but my job ends December 19. Meanwhile, my husband is teasing me about being on this board...
Kathleen
My very first discovery in observing my eating and sense of hunger is that I apparently have no hunger now that I am eating whenever I want. Well, it is a surprise believe it or not. Eating is basically a break from work for me. I'm swamped at the moment but my job ends December 19. Meanwhile, my husband is teasing me about being on this board...
Kathleen
I'm interested to know if you mean you don't feel hungry enough to eat often because you know you can eat whenever you want (or are too busy?), or whether you don't feel hunger because you are eating often?Kathleen wrote:oolala53,
My very first discovery in observing my eating and sense of hunger is that I apparently have no hunger now that I am eating whenever I want. Well, it is a surprise believe it or not. Eating is basically a break from work for me. I'm swamped at the moment but my job ends December 19. Meanwhile, my husband is teasing me about being on this board...
Kathleen
Your husband can tease away
This board has so much support and good ideas/advice, I know I wouldn't have stuck with NoS as long as I have without it!