Everyday Systems

Do you give yourself "conditional permission to eat" on S Days? The term is from the book Intuitive Eating. The theory is that people are overweight because they diet and then experience "diet backlash", the binge that ends many diets. The theory is that, if given unconditional permission to eat, your body will eventually choose to eat exactly what it needs -- no more and no less.

I tried giving myself "conditional permission to eat". My kids called it "The Peanut Cluster Diet" because I indulged in a food that I hadn't eaten in 30 years. After six months, with a 10 pound weight gain, I finally gave up on The Peanut Cluster Diet.

My 14 year old's take on The No S Diet is that it is "The Peanut Cluster Diet with restrictions." I gave myself "unconditional permission to eat" on S Days. After my first string of 5 Ns, I ate so much on Saturday that I had to nap.

How do you handle S Days? Do you give yourself "unconditional permission to eat"? Do you try to be moderate? Do you not pay attention to what you eat? Thank you.

Kathleen

Hi Kathleen.
People tend to misinterpret what enjoying S days is really about.
They are treat days, but shouldn't just be and excuse to binge.
Try to think of a couple of S's you would enjoy and have them in moderate amounts. Go for quality not quantity.
If you are eating till you get sick, that is not caring for yourself.
Not giving yourself restrictions and "unconditional eating" or however you called it, doesn't have to mean overeating.
Good luck.
Peace and Love
Debs

I"m think it's been said already in some replies to some posts in the last few weeks, but it probably bears repeating. . .

1. Until you can handle the N days with ease (no that doesn't mean PERFECT!), don't sweat the S days.

2. When your N days are firmly in place--at least a month-maybe more- into this adventure--you can begin to assess how you're handling S days.

3. Meanwhile, try to remember Reinhard's words. . .the original message was "No Snacks, No Sweets, No Seconds except SOMETIMES on days that start with S." The SOMETIMES was left off the published book but it still is important. That concept coupled with his admonishment to "not be an idiot" on S days, for me, sums it up perfectly. If I want to have dessert or another helping of mashed potatoes or a yeast roll--or popcorn at the movies, I can have it. But for me, it means I'm not going to help myself to an entire buffet of desserts AND have seconds and thirds AND keep my hand in a bag of chips all day long. Those words "SOMETIMES" and "IDIOT" or "GLUTTON" do it for me. And with time, they'll do it for you. My first few weekends I really took advantage of those S days-but I quickly realized how miserable my body felt when I did and have learned to practice MODERATION while I still ENJOY the treats, extras, etc. But really--it does take TIME. (I know that's no fun but I'm having to learn that time has to be my friend!)

Good luck.

What happened was I ate a lot while visiting my brother in law's family. Then I had to sleep for two hours, and then I had to use the bathroom several times. I did not get physically sick.

That was two weekends ago. I did not have a repeat performance last week because the S Day from the prior week was so unpleasant -- even aside from being very embarassing!

I picked up "Take care of the N Days, and the S Days take care of themselves" from another person's blog. I'm not sure if those are Reinhard's words. It seems to me that your stomach cannot adjust to great fluctuations in food intake. If you eat a normal to small amount for five days running, you can't handle a big binge on Saturday.

This situation reminds me of something I once read -- about how some survivors of the holocaust were fed steak dinners and died. Their bodies could not handle the food.

Not sure, but I think "unconditional permission" on S Days may be the critical success factor that makes this diet work.. That's why I'm asking how people approach S Days. The N Days have gotten really easy for me in just a few short weeks.

Kathleen

I think you've answered your own questions. . . your body CAN'T easily handle GREAT FLUCTUATIONS in amounts of food. That's why your body revolted the way it did! You'd begun to create healthy habits and your early S days jumped up and grabbed you. (i.e. you could have a peanut cluster or two on Saturday without eating the whole package!)

I can promise you that if it works for you liked it worked for me, that after a month or so (took me two months AT LEAST to really "recognize" the habits and not take advantage of my S days. But week by week, my "need" or more likely my "habit" to OVERINDULGE was replaced more and more by my "choice" to INDULGE on S days. It's a SLOW process.

When the "S days do begin to take care of themselves. . ." you will most likely begin to practice moderation without thinking that much about it and you will enjoy that you CAN have some of those "S" s without going overboard. You are only on day 26. It sounds as if you've already begun to figure that out.

Your profile says that your interests are: "Sadly, my obsession has been diets."

I too have spent way too many days and nights and emotions searching and researching. . . With No S, I feel as though those days are behind me and that the less I worry about this, the more successful I am. I hope you can find that peace as well. I know, the conventional thought process would be "yeah, but. . ." I had to get rid of the "yeah, buts" from my thinking and hopefully it will continue to help get rid of the "big butts" and all the other excess lard I'm carrying around.

Come on along--it's going to be a great ride!

Kathleen,

are you talking about "conditional permission to eat" vs. "unconditional permission to eat" or is that just typing ....

bottom line is i basically IGNORE "Sometimes" as far as my S days go and give myself "unconditional permission to eat" not exactly sure how that would be described in Intuitive eating terms, but for me S days are to

1. eat WHATEVER I want
2. eat WHENEVER I want
3. eat HOWEVER much I want
4. ENJOY it

#4 is the real key,

for me personally there is absolutely NO REASON to monitor or count calories on your S days it just ruins the WHOLE BEAUTY OF IT... who cares if you ate 5,000 calories on your S day, be honest if you are eating 5,000 calories a day ONLY on your S days, then GUESS WHAT, FIVE other days of the week YOU'RE NOT DOING THAT!

also, if you eat that much you will feel AWFUL, you might need to take a nap that's ok, it may take a few more times of OVERINDULGING to that degree to connect your mind and your body that HEY THAT DOESN"T FEEL GOOD and certainly I don't ENJOY it,

so you have to have patience with your mind/body connection and give it a chance to revivify. DON'T use EXTERNALLY LIMITING your S days with I have to stick with three meals and just have one snack or I can only have this many calories or (sorry reinhard on this one) I can only snack, have sweets or seconds SOMETIMES on S days ...

go to friggin town and use one standard of measurment alone ...

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT?

let's face it, eating mounds of food is simply not ENJOYABLE, physically it makes you feel ill and spiritually and emotionally, when you look at it your inner conscience kicks in and you rightly feel self consciousness and/or shame ....

I have definitely overeaten on my S days, I have really blown some out, I also have not used that as an excuse to not pick up with my N days on Mondays.

GO FOR IT on your S days, lets' be honest if your mind/body connection is really out of whack and you have deprived yourself of Von's Birthday Cake, donuts or peanut clusters for much of your life YOU'RE GOING TO OVER DO IT, plan it, count on it, throw a party in an anticipation and LOOK FORWARD TO IT ... VOW That if you eat five bags of peanut clusters you will ENJOY every last one of them AND YOU WILL go back to green on Monday NO MATTER WHAT ... will you gain some weight inititally? probably, will it piss you off? surely it will, will you feel discouraged and bummed out? probably you will, but guess what ...

you will start to INTERNALLY CONNECT the numbers going up or down on the scale NOT WITH CALORIES or other EXTERNALLY IMPOSED LIMITATIONS but with HOW YOU FEEL, YOU WILL LEARN TO REGISTER how much is too much, and HOW MUCH do you really need to ENJOY and WHAT do you NEED to enjoy,

one of the things i love about S days is the complete lack of eating structure, 3 meals goes out the window, good bye ... SEE YOU ON MONDAY ... let every weekend be a party that you throw to celebrate this newfound freedom and opportunity to expereince what and how much TRULY satisfies YOU!

BUT, NO MATTER WHAT, the party is over on Monday ... keep those N Days green and have a party every weekend and every single NWS day, you will be surprised how this creates an INTERNAL shift ...

maybe it won't happen quickly, maybe it will happen in seven months, maybe it will click immediately and three months down the road you wake up one Saturday and become the COOKIE MONSTER with a bottomless pit of desire in your tummy,

life is not a horizontal line, ride the roller coaster and ENJOY the curves ....

boy I am getting long winded on these, Kathleen you apparently tappped into some things I feel passionate about

GOD LOVE MY HUSBAND, my No S "Coach", this is is truly his S day mantra for me ...

THAT'S WHAT S DAYS ARE FOR ...

Blueskighs

Blueskighs,
I'm still trying to figure out this diet, but I think that "unconditional permission to eat" on the weekends may be the key. Your body needs to know that you can be completely satisfied on the weekends.

The mantra of "portion control" means you must deny yourself all you want at every moment. How long does that last? Well, for me, I was finding that I could stay on diets for a shorter and shorter period of time.

That's what S Days are for....

What a wonderful husband you have to be so understanding! My husband was quite displeased with me for eating until I had to take a nap when we were visiting his brother, and I don't blame him. He's seen me try lots and lots of diets, but I now weigh 80 pounds more than when we married.

This time, I think, it is different. I have periods of restriction which can be tolerated because I have "unconditional permission to eat." I'm taking my 7 year old to the store now to buy Haagen Dazs ice cream bars for my S Days!

Kathleen

Kathleen,

you're thoughtfulness towards this No S diet is wonderful. I think the topics you are bringing up are great and I appreciate it!

I think that "unconditional permission to eat" on the weekends may be the key. Your body needs to know that you can be completely satisfied on the weekends.

Kathleen,
I think you hit on something very important. Sometimes I just want to eat until I don't WANT to eat anymore. I do this when I want and/or need to on the weekends and it IS incredibly SATISFYING!

The mantra of "portion control" means you must deny yourself all you want at every moment. How long does that last? Well, for me, I was finding that I could stay on diets for a shorter and shorter period of time.

I too find the mantra of "portion control" annoying ... EXTREMELY and yes as I have gotten older my willingess to stay on a diet has inversely decreased! (did I say that right? )

That's what S Days are for....

Hopefully as you stay on NO S and experience all the changes inside and out your husband will "see" ... it took my husband about one month to six weeks to notice THIS WAS actually different and comment on it positively and become hugely supportive. Now he is all about me staying on the NO S diet, since he knows me well, he knows one of my issues is rigidity and self-judgement about what I eat and NOT ENJOYING ... he really has been a great encourager in encouraging me to let that go and it has been WONDERFUL ... maybe when your husband starts comprehending the rhythm and beauty of the No S Diet he will begin to understand that YES!

that's what S days are for!

It is wonderful to hear how you are doing, congratulations on your new job.

The other thing I want to say is in one of your prior posts you commented about in evaluating your diets was (paraphasing here) what does maintenance look like, the idea as I understood what you wrote being that the closer to the "weight loss" part is to the "mainenance" part the more solid the plan ... obviously NO S is the same for weight loss and maintenance. I have always FREAKED OUT when I got to maintenance before like WHAT DO I DO NOW? it is very nice to just know that I keep doing the same thing,

ENJOY those Haagen Daaz bars,

Blueskighs

I do think that the S Days allow me to actually enjoy food without guilt.

Right now, my 7 year old is stirring caramels over heat. I love apples, and I love caramels, but have I ever taken the time to make homemade caramel apples? No.

There is an underlying current of I-don't-deserve-it that comes from being overweight. Now I do deserve it if this is an S Day.

What keeps on coming to mind for me is the Aesop fable of the country mouse and the city mouse. The city mouse had finer food but ate in fear. The country mouse enjoyed what was eaten.

I can eat better food and enjoy it with this diet.

Kathleen

Kathleen wrote:
What keeps on coming to mind for me is the Aesop fable of the country mouse and the city mouse. The city mouse had finer food but ate in fear. The country mouse enjoyed what was eaten.

I can eat better food and enjoy it with this diet.

Kathleen

City Mouse & Country Mouse - gotta love it! Enjoy that caramel apple, Kathleen!