Everyday Systems

I'm finding myself falling into the trap of having one or two failures a week. Lately the failures have been more than just minor slip ups and have a little bit of the old binge mentality about them. So I'm starting this check in to keep track of myself, especially during the holidays.

7 N 14 NWS Only the event! 21 NWS Only the event
8 N 15 NWS Only the event 22 N
9 N 16 N 23 N 28 N
10 N 17 N 24 N 29 N
11 N 18 N 25 N 30 N
12 S 19 S 26 S 31 S
13 S 20 S 27 S

1 N
2 S
3 S
4 N

Dec 7: Success, but

darn, it's hard to get back on track.

December 8 FAILURE

Binge, guilt, binge.

This has got to stop.

Hi Betty,

I replied to you on my thread, but just wanted to stop by and offer encouragement.

The first step in change is catching yourself AFTER the fact. Then you "catch yourself faster." You start by noticing the binge, then you pull out of the binge faster, then you catch yourself as you reach for the first cookie...

So, you are just at the first step. We all revisit it regularly.

Instead of beating yourself up, analyze what's happening. What set you off? What happened first? Then what happened? Then what? Think about how you can change the pattern when that situation comes around again. (I had very specific eating cues when I started, which I've mostly eliminated - there are a couple of random ones outside my control which I'm still working on. That helped a LOT.)

Take care!

This has got to stop.

Betty,

When I am binging and can't stop in the past the thing that has helped is to clear my calendar of ANYTHING and EVERYTHING but the most pressing obligations. I know this is easier said and done, but sometimes this is the only thing that has worked to help me regain the balance that I need in my life.

Being overwhelmed by many obligations and commitments, things I think I should do but really don't need too, is a huge setup for binging for me. It has taken me many years to understand at a deep level that I simply cannot do as many things as I think I can and I just have to periodically scale back at what I am taking on. When I periodically assess my life and schedule I almost always have to reduce something here or there. This could be a perfect metaphor for eating too much and my eyes being bigger than my stomache. I have an idea that I should take on more than is really reasonable.

I learned this best from watching a thin friend who does not burden herself with many commitments and obligations. It has been a huge life change for me, but I am glad that I have made it and continue to work on it. The postive thing is it allows me to put much more quality time and focus into the relationships and projects in my life that I have identified are really important or meaningful to me and I am able to do much better on those.

This may not be your problem at all, so please forgive if this long post is not helpful, but my heart is with you, because i always remember those times when i couldn't stop eating and how extremely painful they were,

Blueskighs

FAILURE
FAILURE
FAILURE
FAILURE
S
S
SUCCESS


Thnks KCCC and Blueskighs!

I think I'm finally pulling out of this pit. It's true, I've had almost NO time for myslef in the past few months, not even to visit the NO S forum. And it makes a difference, but there's not much that can budge in my life right now. Small kids, demanding job, hubby away half of each month...

I hate it, though, when food becomes a comfort. Because it's not really a comfot, is it?

I don't know why it's sometimes so easy to live the way I want and sometimes so insurmountable.

I wish there were more light in the sky, longer.
I wish I felt energetic (I wish I could sleep better at night)
I wish I had more "Me" time
I wish my family didn't drive me crazy, sometimes.
I wish I were swimming on a hot summer day.

Hi Betty.

You wrote:

I wish there were more light in the sky, longer.
I wish I felt energetic (I wish I could sleep better at night)
I wish I had more "Me" time
I wish my family didn't drive me crazy, sometimes.
I wish I were swimming on a hot summer day.

I could have written that myself; all of it except the "Me" time - I have a LOT of that, (maybe too much). Sometimes just being cold makes me want to snack and over eat. Taking long, hot showers until the hot water runs out, sitting with a heating pad turned to fry, and sipping hot peppermint tea (2 bags at once just to be indulgent) with honey helps me through these long months until I can lay on the patio and soak up the sun. Maybe there are some things that you've done in the past, or perhaps you can try some new traditions or routines to spoil yourself that are uniquely yours.

I'm glad to hear that you're "finally pulling out of this pit". Climb and coast, friend is my wish to you.

Dear Betty,

I can so relate to where you are - it sounds similar to territory I've been in, more than once. Hard to find your way out.

You're right about food not being a real comfort, but turning to it says you need SOMETHING. What WOULD be a real comfort?

Even little things you can slip in will help. I remember when I was working on my dissertation and working full time, and felt as if I had no time for myself, ever. Someone gave me a decadent shower gel and scrubby. That was a little personal indulgence that took no extra time (because you've gotta bathe, right?) but helped me to feel taken care of.

Now, I burn scented candles and play music when I have an office task that I've been resisting (like grading), and it helps. (Maybe I've just started associating the ritual of setting that up with "okay, time to get serious and be done.")

I also listen to "zencasts" (downloaded from iTunes) when I clean the kitchen. There's a real irony to multi-tasking while listening to advice on mindfulness! However, doing so makes a chore into "personal time" for me.

I don't know what would be "real comfort" for you, but could you think about it? If you do, I bet you will find things that you can do in the time it takes to browse through the refrigerator.

Best wishes!

KCCC