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Starting over again - Franxious's occasional check-in

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:44 pm
by franxious
Hi there,

I haven't been here for awhile, but I still see some familiar names. I don't even know how long it's been since I fell off the wagon. But I'm fed up (literally and figuratively) and ready to get back on track.

I remember losing at least 10 lbs before. It's a mystery to me why I stopped NoS. I know that I had a problem with S days, even after months. Nonetheless, having overeating problems only two days a week is better than having them every day. I found the N days to be fairly easy, though again, the habits didn't feel "automatic." But maybe my bad habits are so deeply entrenched that they need even longer than "several months" to be eradicated -- I can't recall exactly how long I stayed on NoS. I do remember that I liked the freedom to compose my meals out of anything I wanted (except sweets, of course), and that there are also no firm rules regarding the size of meals. I'd love to feel secure enough to have small meals, but I lost weight before even with fairly large ones (mostly healthy fare, though).

I also liked the way other people don't think this diet is bizarre or unhealthy -- it simply isn't. Plus, it's mostly invisible; if you don't want to tell anyone, you won't give yourself away by eating unusual combinations or amounts of food.

I don't know if it counts as a mod, but to survive I am allowing myself to have coffee with milk or cream and the amount of sugar that I like at any time. Normally, I have at most three large mugs of coffee a day.

Here's today's meals so far:

Breakfast: two fried eggs, two slices of whole wheat bread with butter
Lunch: One can of vegetable soup, one apple, one slice of plain whole wheat bread, cucumber slices
Dinner (plan): One turkey cheeseburger on a potato roll, portion of brussels sprouts, possibly some oven baked fries.

Looking forward to rejoining the NoS community!

Lisa (Franxious)

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:13 pm
by Kathleen
Lisa,
I'm stuck above 200 pounds. I weighed 205 on Monday, and the first time I weighed 205 was 11/22, which was the marker for a 10 pound weight loss since 9/8/09.

Why hasn't the scale moved? I do think it is because of S Days. However, I think things are shifting to fewer hours on the S Day of overeating and a less dramatic weight as registered on the scale.

Blueskighs said that she lost weight initially and then didn't lose any more weight until after six months. I'm thinking it's like the Israelites wandering in the desert for forty years. You need to stick out however long it takes for your body to figure out that it doesn't need to overeat on S Days because you are not going on another starvation diet. You can know it intellectually, but your body is still conditioned -- after years of dieting -- to prepare for starvation diets whenever there is a release on dieting rules.

Blueskighs had disordered eating but lost very little weight -- only about 10 pounds, as I recall. Her main problem was her disordered eating an not the excessive weight. With someone like me, and possibly you, with a lot of weight to lose, it can be frustrating to have to wait for the disordered eating to stop before the weight comes off.

Kathleen

Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:05 pm
by franxious
Today, I accidentally skipped breakfast. My plans got derailed...well, I ditched the plan of a late breakfast in favor of an early lunch with a friend. I figured I'd enjoy it more. We ate at a diner, and I had:

Two fried eggs, one biscuit, bacon, and home fries. It all fit on one plate, but the bacon was on top of the fries. So, it's not really kosher (so to speak), but I'm not going to give myself a red box because it just doesn't feel like a violation. Maybe I'm being too easy on myself.

Dinner (projected): bowl of soup, slice of cheese bread.

It occurred to me that I virtually *never* order what I want at restaurants. After so many years of warring with food, I either order something that seems "non-fattening" or I order something because it does seem fattening (i.e., I'm feeling rebellious). Sometimes I order something because it seems like what my husband would order, since I'm envious of his peaceful relationship with food. In any case, it's hard for me to block out the dialog and figure out what I really do want. Not sure I succeeded in doing so today. I feel like I'll do better at NoS if I actually enjoy my meals. That may take some time!

Kathleen,

Thanks for your post. Yes, patience is the key. I know I'll lose weight more quickly initially, and then the trick is to stick with the "boring" maintenance. I read an article in People magazine awhile ago, about people who'd lost more than 100 lbs. One of them was at a plateau for more than a year! But she stuck with whatever her plan was, and eventually started to lose weight again. To me, that's really admirable.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:54 pm
by franxious
So far, success. I weighed myself on Day 1 to get a starting weight: 167.4.

Then on Thursday: 165.8

Then today: 163.8. I'm sure this is all "water weight," but it's a nice encouragement. However, I will now start weighing myself less frequently because the the apparent weight loss is sure to slow down any day now.

As expected, it's not too hard to stick to N days. I plan to be proactive tomorrow and Sunday (i.e., plan my meals, snacks, and sweets ahead of time. Usually, seconds are not my downfall).

Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 10:25 pm
by franxious
Having a so-so S day. One problem is that in my household, weekends are very unstructured, meal-wise. We have breakfast, then snacks, then sometimes dinner. I know it's pathetic. It's a difficult rut to get out of. Today, we had breakfast, then I did some permasnacking. I didn't binge or gorge, but that's the only positive. Plus, there are many more hours to go. I need to be more proactive!

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 10:31 pm
by franxious
I'll give today's S day a C- so far. Haven't been stuffing my face *all* day, but there hasn't been much restraint.

I've decided on a weekly weigh-in, on Saturday mornings. If it's not humane to ask someone to delay food gratification for more than a week, why is it humane to delay the weighing gratification longer than that? I have the impulse to weigh myself constantly.

Looking forward to tomorrow, honestly.

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 1:45 pm
by franxious
Wasn't able to refrain from weighing myself this morning, to assess the damage. However, the weight was lower than the starting weight. I'll still try to hold off until next Saturday. The idea is that the (presumably) lower weight after the entire week of N days will restrain me from going crazy on S days.

So far, I've had my breakfast of optimized oatmeal. I forgot that we're having lunch for a departing colleague at work today, so hopefully there won't be too much temptation. With the fear of appearing cavalier about spending departmental cash in today's economy, though, most likely there will be: Pizza. Period. In which case, I'm not sure whether one or two slices fits on a plate. Probably two, even if simply to ensure I'll make it to dinner.

I joined the No S diet group on Facebook, even though it advertises to all my pals that I'm on a diet. Or possibly, because it advertises this fact to my friends. I really want to succeed, by any means, including embarrassment (i.e., the only thing more embarrassing than announcing you're on a diet is to announce you're on a diet and fail!)

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:10 pm
by franxious
No success re: not weighing myself daily. However, so far the scale has gone down after every N day, which is motivating and encouraging. Yes, I realize, that won't always be true. But for now, I'm riding the wave.

Is gum a sweet? I don't chew sugarless gum.

What about a 14-oz beverage that's 60 calories (kombucha)? It doesn't have nearly as much sugar as soda, but probably has more than what I put in my coffee. It doesn't taste sweet. I'm on the fence, because

1. It is helpful in getting from one meal to another, but
2. Am I just deceiving myself?

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 12:41 pm
by franxious
So far, success. Yesterday there were many occasions on which I thought of having snacks or seconds, but didn't. It wasn't hard to refrain, but clearly the bad habits are in full force.

I have to admit I'm not looking forward to the S day.

Today's weight: 164.0.

Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:45 pm
by franxious
I've noticed that my N-day meals are too big; that is, I feel uncomfortably stuffed when I'm done. I suppose I'm afraid of feeling hungry between meals. That reallyl hasn't been a problem, so my goal for next week is to downsize them a bit.

So far, today has been going OK. Having a cold helps. We're having dinner at friends', and the meal promises to be yummy -- she's a great cook -- so I'm trying to preserve my appetite.

So far:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs, 1 slice of toast with butter.
Midday snack: Tall chai latte and toffee bar (guess where :)
Two pieces of Bazooka
Coffee with cream and sugar.

I will probably have one small meal later today.

Weight: 163.2.

Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 3:58 pm
by franxious
Yesterday's S day was so-so. I had:

Breakfast: small whole wheat blueberry muffin

Lunch: chocolate milk shake, cheese fries, cheeseburger

Dinner: small bowl of chicken noodle soup, a few bites of a grilled cheese sandwich

Snack: way too much caramel almond cranberry popcorn

(Actually it doesn't sound that bad on paper, but the lunch was huge and the snack was too big...but at least I didn't permasnack!0

Todays' challenge is that it's an N day, but we're all home for President's day. I've had a large breakfast of a scrambled egg 'n' cheese sandwich on whole wheat. I just have to be mindful that the same rules apply even though it's not a work day.

Today's weight: 164.8 (in other words, the post S-day damage does _NOT_ bring me back to my starting weight of 167.4).

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:09 pm
by franxious
Wednesday: SUCCESS.

I haven't done too well yet with scaling down my meals. However, at this stage it's not impeding weight loss. It's only a couple of pounds, but it's in the right direction!

N days continue to be not particularly difficult. I'm busy, so I don't have too much time to obsess about what I'm not eating. Sometimes when I open the freezer I see a pint of ice cream that I bought a few weeks ago and have barely touched, and it nags at me; but only as long as the freezer is open. Anyway, I could have had it last weekend and I had other treats instead, so I must not want it that much!

I started doing physicsdiet.com again, too. It's a really good tool, I think. I recommend it for people who are staying on NoS faithfully and (but) are addicted to the scale. Even on days that seem like you didn't lose weight, according to one scale reading, you might actually have gained ground if you look at the whole picture from their weighted averages perspective.

Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:57 pm
by franxious
The S days are over. I still feel a sense of relief! But they weren't really that awful. Or rather, I've seen much, much worse.

I am going to Florida with my family next week for five days and I'm stressing about it a bit. We're going to stay with my parents. They are by no means big snackers, and so for the most part, the N days will be easy in their house. However, they do have a daily "happy hour" in which they have drinks and snacks (they are both very trim and active despite being in their 70s and 80s). I'd hate to be a party pooper and not participate in the happy hour. My husband surely will join in. I'm afraid I'll feel deprived if I just sit there with a drink and watch others nibble. I may grant myself an exemption to break the rules just for the happy hour.

The other challenge will be the S days; not eating too much, but rather, being able to eat a treat! My parents are very disapproving of fat people. When I eat a meal with her, my mother is always trying to keep me from eating the dessert. It's no fun trying to enjoy a treat while someone is watching you with anxiety and disapproval. I'm tempted to pack some candy bars in my luggage in case I need to eat them in private! But that seems a little pathological. :(

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:44 am
by franxious
I'm giving myself a FAILURE for Wednesday due to carelessness. At lunch, I ate my plate of food but then nibbled at my lunch companion's edamame. True, the amount of edamame was small and would have still fit on the plate. However, it wasn't planned in advance and felt like a violation.

The situation at dinner was similar; my family and I ate at "Five Guys" and I nibbled on peanuts along with my burger and fries. Again, it wasn't that the amount of peanuts was large. I wasn't exactly virtual plating, but there are no plates there; still, while the peanuts probably would have fit on the plate, they weren't part of the original plan.

I've lost about four lbs in three weeks. This seems slow, but I'm OK with it. I can actually see a difference in my tummy in the mornings.

Thursday: SUCCESS

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:25 am
by gratefuldeb67
Wow you are doing great Lisa!
Keep it up!
8) Debs

Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:45 pm
by franxious
Thanks Deb!

Glad to see you're back in action!

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:53 pm
by franxious
Is it my imagination, or do my jeans feel slightly looser in the butt?

So far, the S day has been OK. I've had:

4 small slices of toasted rye bread, some with butter, some with cream cheese

Caesar salad

Frozen mango smoothie

Big chocolate chip cookie

Plain large bagel

Two pieces of Bazooka gum

Three cups of coffee with milk and sugar

I still have to eat dinner. True, essentially I've been snacking all day, but it's been discrete events. I don't want to impose too many rules, and I really do like to be able to just eat something on impulse once in awhile. That was the bagel; I was slicing them before putting them in the freezer, and suddenly I felt hungry. The bagels were still warm...it was nice to be able to eat one.

According to my scale, my body fat percentage has gone down slightly, too.

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:12 pm
by franxious
Today not going as well. Found myself stuffing "snacking granola" in my face while my children bickered. Then later at a kids' birthday party, had too many donut holes plus the cake...all this occurring before noon, which is a bad sign. Hoping to reign myself in for the rest of the day (which would mean, discrete, one-plate meals, perhaps one more well-defined treat or snack).

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:27 pm
by franxious
Progress, no matter how slow, is inspiring.

Regress, no matter how slow or explainable, is deflating.

I feel depressed after the effects of bad S days.

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 9:57 pm
by franxious
It turned out to be impossible for me to even think about NOS while I was on "vacation" in Florida. Rather than cataloging the myriad miseries, I'll just say that the good news is, I didn't gain all the weight back. The further good news is that, once back in my 'hood, I was able to get right back on track. The even further good news is that I've contracted with my coworker, Kelly, to go walking at lunchtime starting next week. Plus I've decided to start taking the convenient and not-too-expensive yoga class at my work...

the bad news is, I am rambling, rambling, rambling.

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:49 pm
by franxious
I am too lazy to find it, but there's one testimonial on here, and in the book, that is so incredibly inspiring to me. It's the person who lost about one lb a month, and who has been on NOS for more than 2 years, so has lost about 26 lbs.

To me, this person is truly inspirational; to have the dedication, patience, and perseverence to keep on going for years with this very slow success rate -- that's amazing. Twenty-six pounds is a _lot_, and this person truly earned that success. I don't even know if it's a man or a woman, but to have such faith in the value in of the diet, while so many others complain about "only" losing 2 lbs a week or whatever...it actually almost brings tears to my eyes.

As it happens, 26 lbs is about what I'd like to lose. I aspire to that person's dedication, and if I can at least lose 1 lb per month, I plan to stick with it. It's sure better than gaining a pound per month!

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:11 pm
by blue
I would love to do 1 pound a month too :lol:

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:56 am
by franxious
I am struggling, but still trying. I had two failures last week, which is fairly unprecedented for me. I can attribute it to my job changing and becoming much more stressful. I am not good at dealing with stress.

These two S days were about a C, in terms of not going overboard.