Everyday Systems

I keep coming back to NoS because there are so many things I love about it. But I keep leaving NoS because there are things that I just can't stick to. I have read (and I believe even Reinhard may have mentioned this) that if you can't do a food plan forever, you may as well not start. For me this is true- I just kept failing at NoS and it got to the point that I just didn't want to start again anymore.

But after giving it some thought I have come up with a slightly modified version of NoS that I think will help me to ingrain the habits that will allow me to get to where I want to go. I hope that no one will flame me as it's not exact NoS but it's something I do think I can do & stick to forever.

So this is my plan and the one I will check in with:

*** Three One Plate Meals a Day Max (some days may be less as if I have a big lunch I will not force myself to eat dinner- that just doesn't agree with my body at all. I am a pretty small person and do not need huge amounts of food.)

*** No Snacks, No Seconds

***Sweets are ok as long as they are plated with meals and decided on before I start eating. I rarely want sweets- until I say I can't have them. This should help with that.

***This is the plan I will stick to everyday- even weekends. SDays (snacking/seconds) for me will consist only for parties or special occasions - not just regular weekends when I am home. I really, really want to get in the habit of sitting down & eating real meals every day.

So that's that. Tomorrow I will start checking in.

Also, I have written down my 'good enough' goal in my day planner. When I reach it, it is reached. Meaning no thinking I should be any thinner/fitter whatever. I got to my goal in February and then decided it wasn't good enough so strived for better- now I weigh 10 pounds more. So when I get to what I've written down, that is that!

Day 1: Success!
B: Coffee & half-n-half

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
snack bag of chips

D: 1 piece pizza
4 pieces of cheese

Not the healthiest meals, but meals nonetheless!

Way to go!

You're forming the habits now, you can deal with the nutrition later.

Thank you frugaltexan!

Day 2: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
bag o' pretzels

D: bagel with lowfat cream cheese & salsa
2 pieces cheese

*Am going out to meet a friend- will have one or two beers

My lunch is too big. I have been eating pretty much the same thing for a year and it always makes me too full. But I am afraid of getting too hungry before dinner because nights are a dangerous time for me eating-wise. I think I may break up my lunch and just have the sandwich- and then pretzels or yogurt or something (that has been decided earlier, NOT just some random decision) later IF I get hungry. So it may be a snack- but is still only 3 meals which is what I decided is ok. I am going to try it tomorrow with a sandwich & yogurt lunch.

Day 3: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
pretzels

D: bagel w/ lowfat cream cheese
2 pieces cheese
1/2 c. cottage cheese (all one plate)

Cheese, cheese, lots of cheese Oh well. Better then pounds of m&m's as I've been known to do.

I didn't have the opportunity to try my splitting lunch idea because I was so busy at work it took me an hour to eat it anyway! Tommorrow I have an S-Event. I am meeting a friend after work for drinks and light appetizers. If they are very small and I am hungry when I return home I will have another small meal (I can't afford to get an actual meal at the restaurant!). And if I want a sweet with that meal, that is fine- it just all has to be on one plate in front of me before I start! No grazing all night!

Day 4: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
pretzels

D: Beer

Met a friend after work and had some beers. When I got home I was too tired and just went to bed.

Day 5: Failure

B: Frappucino

L: 1 piece pizza
garlic roll with marinara

S: pumpkin latte

S: shared cheese plate

D: 2 p. pizza
2 garlic rolls with marinara


I know technically on nos there is no failure on weekends but I am trying to keep to meals all the time so for me, it's important to stay honest. I didn't even want that latte, just had it because my friend got it for me. And I could have been satisfied with just one piece of pizza. I went back for the second so that is a failure. But I am not freaking out about it as I've had 4 good days and today is another day!

Day 6: Fail


B: Frappucino

L: Bagel w/ lowfat cream cheese
cookies

D: personal pizza
4 triscuits w/ lowfat ccheese (one plate)

Failure because I'd planned on 2 cookies but had more.

I know I don't know you and don't have all the facts. But the harshness with which you are treating yourself worries me.

S days are kinda SUPPOSED to be off the hook to get you out of a diet (read temporary) mentality. There's a lot more about what you're posting about your eating habits that has me worried, but I could be totally off base, so I'm not gonna get into that.

Just... I don't mean to be fluffybunny or anything, but be good to yourself. You deserve to treat yourself with loving care.

Thank you for your kind words Noelfigart but I can assure you I am in no way falling prey to a diet mentality at all. I am actually feeling very at peace and not obsessing about eating in any way. When I am putting 'fail' it is not something I feel bad about nor am I treating myself harshly- it's more that I have a goal of not eating mindlessly nor eating more than my body physically needs. It is not healthy or comfortable for me to do that.

So while I am sorry that my eating habits are worrying you I myself am quite pleased with what I am doing. It is a system that is working well for me.

Day 7: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Wonderful parmesan, pine nut & avacado sandwich on seven grain- yum!
Pretzels

D: bagel w/lowfat cream cheese & salsa
triscuits

Day 8: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Salad with feta, avocado, croutons & low fat vinagrette

D: 2 pieces pizza

Fluffybunny... is she still posting here? (just kidding).

NoelFigart wrote:
Just... I don't mean to be fluffybunny or anything, but be good to yourself. You deserve to treat yourself with loving care.

You're not big on breakfast, are you? When I was in college, I would add a cigarette to that coffee and be good to go...

Writer110 wrote:Day 8: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Salad with feta, avocado, croutons & low fat vinagrette

D: 2 pieces pizza

Haha Kevin! Yeah, I have never been a breakfast eater even when I was much younger. Now, a weekend champagne brunch is something else entirely!

Day 9: Success!
B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
chips

S: 1 piece cake

D: 2 pieces pizza

Today was my lovely co-worker/friend's engagement party so I had a piece of cake! I have no problem with that!

Yesterday, Thursday:
Day 10: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1/2 cheese sandwich
pretzels

D: beer

That beer didn't sit right with me so I ended up going to bed early.

Tonight is an S-Event! I am hosting the first of 3 Book Club meetings to workshop the novel I wrote. Tonight is section one. Should be fun! Lively discussion, great friends, good food & wine. I am looking forward to it.

You wrote a novel? Do tell! What's it about? How long did it take to write it? Are you going to be published? I'm all ears!

buttercreampillow

Yeah, me too! I'm curious as well! As a book lover, reading group member, reading specialist, and middle school reading teacher, I'm always interested in new authors regardless of genre. Tell us more!

Mimi

Oh, thank you both for the interest! The book is fiction and is set in the UCLA Greek system in the 1990's. It is called "Secrets of an Ex-Sorority Sister." I am having this group read it in 3 sections, giving me notes, making the final changes and then I will submit it to literary agents in the Spring. So fingers crossed! It's been a fun project. It's been going on for a looooooong time. The book itself has been completed for about 4 years but there were some serious problems with the first 100 pages that I had no idea how to fix. So finally I got the bright idea to take a class (I had never really written anything before so didn't know what I was doing) and from that, in the last 6 months have been able to make the cuts & rewrites that were necessary. So we'll see!

Friday's Book Club was a success- I didn't really worry about what I was eating and therefore didn't eat much. However, I did drink a little too much which caused me to eat a lot on Saturday because I felt like crap. So I am going to start recording Glass Ceiling here as well. I don't really drink that often but sometimes when I do it's too much, I don't like to feel so tired and blah the next day. So if I can't stick to GlC I will just stop drinking. Just not worth it


Friday: Day 11 Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Salad- cheese, croutons, balsamic vin, tomatoes, hb egg (very good salad)

D: S Event!:
wine
crackers & cheese
chips & salsa
brownie

Saturday: Day 12 Success!

This is a success because it's a weekend- but it wasn't really a comfortable day for me because I was sort of grazing here and there on leftovers. This always makes me feel sluggish.

Frappucino
cheese & crackers
brownies
chips, salsa & cream cheese
beer

Sunday: Day 13 Success!

GlC: Success!

Again, not the most comfortable day food-wise but a success as is SDay.

Monday: Day 14: Success!

GlC: Success! (None)

B: coffee & 1/2

L: lowfat cottage cheese & tortilla chips

D: goat cheese, avacado, watercress sandwich on 7grain bread
potato chips

Edited to add:

Last night this became a Failure. Neither of those meals were substantial enough and I ended up compensating later that night. Oh well. Lesson learned- dinner should definitely be later in the evening as well!

Tuesday: Day 15: Success!

GlC: Success! (None)


B: coffee & 1/2

L: Salad with cheddar, egg, peas, tomatoes, olives, croutons & lf bals vin

D: 2 pieces of pizza

Note to self: 2 pieces of pizza is just too much. These are NY style pieces I get and they are BIG. I can never decide which one I want so I always get two. Next time I might try having my pizza guy cut them in half- therefore only eating the equivalent of 1. Then I'll have leftovers for the next day and not feel so overwhelmingly full!

Tuesday: Day 16: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Salad with cheddar, egg, peas, olives, tomatoes, croutons & lf bals vin

D: 2 pieces of pizza

I am feeling discouraged today which is ridiculous. I have only been doing this for 16 days- as well as only been on a consistant workout plan for 2.5 weeks. But I was feeling much thinner this morning and so tried on a pair of pants I thought would be loose- they are still tight. I do not have much to lose (about 7-9 pounds) so of course this is going to take some time. I keep trying to tell myself this- and I have been through this before so I know better! So what I am going to do is write down how I became a normal eater before- just to remind myself.

I was a totally normal eater for 5 years: no obsessing, eating what I liked, exercising moderately, at a perfect weight for me. I honestly did not give food or my weight a passing thought. I could have gone on that way forever but lost some weight due to an illness and became screwy in the head thinking that 100 pounds looked good. This set up a whole yo-yo nightmare that has continued for 10 years now. So again, I am going to post how I did it before - as a reference for myself when I feel discouraged like today.

Ok - so here is my little reminder to myself when I feel like I am not progressing fast enough.

I struggled with anorexia/bulimia/bingeing in high school & college. I was insane and obsessed about my body and food and was very, very unhappy. At the end of college, I joined OA which really helped me begin to release the fear of "forbidden" foods. I ate 3 meals a day of whatever I wanted and wrote it down. However, OA didn't work for me on some levels (mostly I did not like forcing myself to eat meals when I was not hungry) and I still was somewhat obsessed & bingeing. I graduated college 30 pounds overweight. I am only 5'3" small frame, so this is a lot.

In the meantime I began reading books on intuitive eating. Over the next year I worked on, again, really only eating what I wanted (no diet foods) and listening to my body. If I wanted ice cream for dinner, I sat down and ate it. I also began a very moderate 3x week workout plan. I never, ever believed I'd be thin so that was not my focus- I only wanted to stop the self-loathing and obsession. I didn't even have a weight goal at all. However, I ended up landing at 108 pounds- which never deviated- eating whatever I pleased (usually falling into healthy meals- I was never much of a snacker) and doing this moderate workout. The obsession/self-hate ended, I NEVER thought about what I ate or hated my body. I did not binge, did not diet and I ate real meals. I was very happy and healthy. I stayed this way for 5 years. The funny thing about this is that before I ever started messing with my food/body in high school, I was 108 pounds. That just seems to be where my body always wanted to be.

Now, the reason I wanted to write this to myself is that it took me THREE YEARS to lose that 30 pounds and end up at my natural weight. As I said, I had no weight goal so I really never thought about it, so the fact it took that long was a non-issue. The real success for me was getting over the emotional turmoil that had controlled my life for years.

Granted I was in my 20's then so I do not expect to weigh 108 now. And I was also much happier and in a much more stable point in my life (career & relationship-wise) back then. Things have been much more challenging these past few years and I struggle much with letting go of emotional eating. This is why intuitive eating is not working for me now and why I feel like I need a bit more structure. I am fine with that. But this is also why my plan is more flexible than others' - ie not restricting what I eat. I need the structure of meals but restriction of foods makes me binge.

I know I can do this. I know because I've done it before. I just have to trust myself and be patient.

In reading this over, what is very clear to me is that for my previous personal journey, not having a weight goal was good. Just focusing on getting over the emotional struggle with food was what was key. Also, another thing I remember is that I never, ever judged myself for anything I did with food. If I had cookies for lunch or binged for 3 days it all was fine. I trusted it would end at some point- and it did.

With those things in mind-FOR NOW I am not going to set a weight goal. I will just weigh the first of every month as a check in. And I am not going to write success or failure as it makes me feel bad about myself. But I will record what I do as that does help...

Well. That was long

Day 17: Tuesday

B: coffee & 1/2

L: The usual salad...

D: Lots o' M&M's (pms week, what can ya do? )

And tomorrow is another day....

Tomorrow is another day. I hope it's a good one for you.

Writer110 wrote:Day 17: Tuesday

B: coffee & 1/2

L: The usual salad...

D: Lots o' M&M's (pms week, what can ya do? )

And tomorrow is another day....

Thank you Kevin

So today I learned some interesting things. Last night I knew I needed to work on the book but was feeling really burned out and distraught because I'd had some bad feedback (all par for the course). I also was really tired. So instead of just giving myself the night off and relaxing and going to sleep early - I ate m&ms. And STILL didn't work on the book! And today I felt just wretched because of course I didn't sleep well due to all that sugar/chocolate. Lesson learned, if I really don't want to work on the book I should just let myself relax. Otherwise I will just rebel against myself.

Another thing. Today I weighed 116. This is interesting because in February I weighed 115 but my measurements were MUCH smaller. Like a whole size smaller. So this shows me that weight should just be used as a tool- not as an obsession. For me, measurements mean more. So I will use both to look at. However, will not be doing any of that until the end of the month. More important to just focus on habit.

118

I just bought a scale and I'm rather enjoying weighing myself every day. I thought it would make me feel crazy & effect my mood but it's not. I feel like it's keeping me more in tune with what I'm really doing. For example - I am 2 pounds more today because I ate a lot last night. Plain and simple. I'm not feeling emotional about it at all. I'm glad about that.

Anyway- so these are the goals I'd like to work on for my next set of NDays this week:

1) Shift my whole eating window earlier. As of now, I'm eating lunch later in the day which makes dinner later and it affects my sleep. I'd like to start eating lunch at 1pm, start eating dinner at 8pm.

2) I seem to be on a pizza for dinner kick, which is fine. I very often go through phases and also a lot of it is a financial thing. Salads for lunch are way more expensive than my cheese sandwich that I used to get (the sandwich I could eat half and save the other for the next day- with chips my whole lunch would be only $3 every day!). I am on a very, very strict food budget so indulging on a $7.50 salad every day for me is HUGE. But it seems to be what my body wants right now for lunches so I am trying to accomodate.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My NDays this week are M-Th as Friday evening is a SEvent. I would like for 2 days this week, if I have pizza for dinner, to only have one piece (again, these are huge NY style pieces). Two pieces really is just too much- I don't care about calorie-wise but it's just physically uncomfortable. Adding 2 garlic rolls to that one piece is fine. So that's that- 2 nights I will have one piece of pizza and 2 garlic rolls only. That is of course if I want pizza, if not, then a moot point!

117

I really want to work on cleaning up my weekend eating- not to beat myself up with but because it's just plain depressing to sit around on a Saturday night eating too many cookies because I am lonely/bored and because it's "allowed." So I am going to go back to my orginal plan- meals everyday (plated sweets ok), no snacking, no seconds. SEvents are parties and such. I will record Successes. This makes me more comfortable. I like to have something to strive for.

I am an emotional eater for sure- but I am not emotional about my eating at all, meaning if I end up sitting around on a Saturday night eating cookies and do not have a Success for that day it doesn't really affect how I feel about myself. But I'd like to try to not do that.

Today, Sunday, happens to be a SEvent Party Day so it will be a success no matter what!

What I am realizing is that for me personally (and I know this does not apply to most) I really prefer eating very light during the day and then eating a more substantial meal in the evenings. My lunches have been such that I am not hungry at night and I don't like that feeling. I want to be hungry for dinner and then eat a nice meal. Also, eating heavily in the day makes me tired. So tomorrow I will try eating a lighter lunch. I will also start recording my meals again, I liked doing that. It's interesting to look back on- if sometimes maybe embarrassing!!

That weight-versus-measurements thing is an important observation, especially as you approach a healthy weight!

Writer110 wrote:Thank you Kevin :D

Another thing. Today I weighed 116. This is interesting because in February I weighed 115 but my measurements were MUCH smaller. Like a whole size smaller. So this shows me that weight should just be used as a tool- not as an obsession. For me, measurements mean more. So I will use both to look at. However, will not be doing any of that until the end of the month. More important to just focus on habit.

Hi Kevin! Yes, it's interesting - when I was 115 a few months ago (well, February) I was actually smaller then when I weighed 108 for all those years. Ah, no rhyme or reason it seems...

So today I had a very light lunch - and I loved it! I felt more energized and tonight was really nicely hungry for dinner. I ate a substantial meal and now am going to relax in front of the tv and then get to bed

More fat, less muscle. Muscle weights a lot more than fat. That's conjecture, but it's the only thing I can figure.

Writer110 wrote:Hi Kevin! Yes, it's interesting - when I was 115 a few months ago (well, February) I was actually smaller then when I weighed 108 for all those years. Ah, no rhyme or reason it seems...

So today I had a very light lunch - and I loved it! I felt more energized and tonight was really nicely hungry for dinner. I ate a substantial meal and now am going to relax in front of the tv and then get to bed :)