Everyday Systems

I may not be checking in every day because quiet time at the computer is at a premium, but I wanted to stop lurking and introduce myself.

I am 43, own a small business that I've run from home since 2003, and in June of last year I had my first (and only) baby.

I'm 5'6". When I got pregnant I weighed 180, which sounds like a lot, but I'm a really curvy, muscular person and my weight is distributed well, so I actually wore a US size 10 and I don't think the average (non fashion industry) person would have considered me fat.

However...post baby, it's another story. It's hard enough losing weight after 40, but really really hard when you have a baby. Adding to my obstacles, having had a breast reduction years ago, I needed medication to stimulate milk production enough to breast feed my child. This medicine makes it virtually impossible to lose any weight. I also had a long difficult home birth that ended in a trip to the hospital for emergency c-section, so it took a while before I could start exercising after the birth.

Eight months later I have an incredibly healthy, happy baby. I'm very happy myself and I have a manageable routine that allows me to walk most days. The only cloud in my sky is that I'm weighing 203-206, depending on my water retention that day. I'm wearing 12's and 14's and it seems most of this extra weight is on my torso. I'm still breastfeeding some (I wish it were more, but baby seems to be self-weaning now).

I'm on day 10 of No-S and though I feel great about the sanity behind it, I haven't really lost any weight. I'm going to stay the course and stick with it though because frankly, I don't have any spare mental energy to diet right now. I will keep reading the testimonials for encouragement and plan to stick with no-S long term. I wasn't losing weight anyway and felt very helpless, so this at least gives me the feeling of doing something to keep entropy at bay.

Thanks everyone for giving me a sense of community in my quest to reach a comfortable, manageable weight.

Warning in advance--this entry will probably be a snooze to anyone who hasn't had some of the same experiences--I'm writing it in part to have a record to look back on months from now when I've reached my first milestones.

I weighed 203.5 this morning, which is actually okay, since I weighed 205.5 yesterday morning. I don't know if it's due to the fact that I'm still lactating or to chronic water retention but as I mentioned in the last post, I have been bobbing up and down between 203 and 206. As soon as get below that, I'll know the wheels are really in motion.

Adding to my frustration is that when I came home from having the baby I was 198--just 18 lbs. over pre-pregnancy, which isn't bad. But I felt so lousy that I ate tons of snacks and sweets and literally within a week was up to 202.5. With the help of a medication that kept my prolactin levels high, I stayed there until the holidays and then pushed it up still further.

It's so foreign to me to be at this weight. I've always been "full-bodied" but 165-175 was the range I lived in happily. Then in 2006-07 I developed hypothyroidism and got up to 193 (I thought then that this was a monstrous, impossible weight for me). I got on medication, went to Weight Watchers (and skipped a lot of meals too,) and I got back down to 180. My partner and I decided to attempt a pregnancy even though I hadn't lost my weight because I was approaching my 42nd b-day and didn't have much time left. To everyone's surprise it only took one cycle, and then pregnant, dieting ceased and my days of weighting 165-170 became a distant memory.

I have so many things to think about between running a business and taking care of an infant. I also am a pseudo single parent because my partner and I live in tiny cottages about a mile apart (long story--but it works for us, we're old and set in our ways, but we love each other and our daughter). No-S is offering me a way to have accountability for my eating habits without adding another layer of complexity to my already hectic life.

I am not having any difficulty adhering to No-S because I'm having three substantial meals and the day goes by so fast that before I know it, it's time for the next meal. I am having a hard time sticking to exercise this week because the weather has been lousy. I have a yoga for weight loss DVD and I think I'm going to start doing that on days that I can't go walking.

Right now I'm looking at this as a marathon, not a sprint. If I only lose a pound a month, I'll still look on it as success.

Welcome Sparkle! It sounds like you are doing great with No S and have a good outlook. I'm sure a lot of us parents can relate what a transition that first year is ... Personally, I, too gained weight during my daughter's first year of life. Just lots of stuff going on (not getting enough sleep or exercise, DD had hip surgery which was pretty stressful, probably undiagnosed PPD, eating too much junk,etc) ... Be gentle with yourself and hang in there!

Welcome Sparkle! Yes, that first year with a baby is a bit disorienting. I remember being ravenous, at least the first few months, every time I nursed. I'm a slow loser - about two pounds per month - and it's working out pretty well.

I am on day 23 of doing this plan, and have had three red days, so can't claim 21 days of habit. I will do it this time though, because dammit, I won't let one bowl of Cheerios or a little piece of chocolate on a no-S day defeat me again!

I haven't lost any weight. Just continuing to hang out between 203 and 206. I realize it takes a while of No-S before most people begin making those three meals truly trimmed down ones. And I'm definitely guilty of putting more on the plate than I would have if I thought I could go back for a snack. Still not going to get impatient with myself.

Two things I'm going to try new this week are 1) not weighing, and 2) joining the Y for a place to exercise where someone reliable will watch the baby.

I took the scale down to my studio to weigh a package and forgot to bring it up. Yesterday morning when I went to weigh and it wasn't there, I thought to myself "good, I won't be either disappointed I'm 206 or falsely encouraged that I'm 203, only to see it go back up tomorrow." I need a break from the scale, but won't do a free for all. I will measure my inches instead.

I decided to join my nearby YMCA because I visited their daycare area and I'm so much more confident in it than I am at Gold's Gym. They have a 1 to 1 ratio and a separate area for the babies. And the girls working there just seem very kind and mature. On my days there I will have an hour window to exercise without a stroller, so am hoping I can break through this plateau.

Here I go...

edited to add:That was great! I burned 485 cals on the cardio machines, my daughter was happy at the daycare and my endorphins are good for the day, even though it's sleeting outside. Yea!

Still having only green days and not really having a hard time sticking to it. My meals are substantial, balanced, and definitely not "diet." The biggest change in my life is skipping the sweets. And when I have sweets now on the weekend, they taste much more extreme, almost too sweet.

I went to the Y again yesterday and in 55 minutes on the EFX burned 725 cals! The baby was happy as can be with the daycare ladies and I feel like I've finally hit upon my solution.

For me no-S may won't be a diet miracle in terms of fast weight loss (exercise will be my tool). But no-S will prevent me from sabotaging all my good exercise with wasteful food choices. I think I am finally able to get out of my own way.

Still haven't weighed. I think I'm going to wait until Monday since that will be a week since I have. Trying not to get too hopeful about drastic change, but I'm going to exercise as much as I can manage between now and then.

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I'm going to start journaling food and exercise so it might encourage me to make a few better food choices.

Yesterday (2/19)
breakfast:
2 cups (when uncooked) oatmeal with olivio spread and splenda
apple
coffee with skim milk

lunch: skipped it while out running errands, so came home starved at 4pm and ate
chicken sausage link in a flour tortilla
100 cal english muffin with some peanut butter and a little honey
(yes I know, this is two partial meals--not a great choice, but I considered getting a drive-through burger and instead came home and did what I could with my empty cupboard)

dinner(after partner brought home groceries):
small piece of steak
new potatoes
asparagus
2 slices of pineapple

I weighed 203.5 this morning, which is the low end of my current range.

The other night we had a lovely big salad with seared tuna. I felt just as satisfied with that as I would have with a more caloric meal, so I want to try it more often and see if I can make at least every other dinner equally low cal but delicious. Dinners are where I take in the most calories because I'm eating with my slim spouse.

I'm also going to try making my sweet on S days a one serving thing that's more special (like one big chocolate cupcake or a piece of pie). That way, the calories will be limited and I won't undo all my hard work during the week with my weekend sweets.

I've found what my reward will be when I get to my first goal (198). There is a beauty school here that has nice skincare services. I'm going to get a babysitter and go have an (affordable) facial.

2/20
breakfast:
2 cup serving of oatmeal
coffee with skim milk, olivio, splenda

lunch:
small piece of steak
oven baked sweet potato fries
2 slices pineapple

dinner:
garlic/potato soup
WW fresh bread with cheddar cheese
pint of beer
3 slices pineapple

exercise:
55 minutes on elliptical (showed 715 cals)
vigorous cleaning and heavy lifting

No sweets, seconds or snacks today because I didn't really want them. I've decided no longer to "make" myself have a sweet just because it's my day. If I skip it on a Saturday or a Sunday, I give myself permission to cash in the option on some other day of the week when there's something I really want.

Very tired now, going to bed.

Today (2/21)
Breakfast:
2 slices bacon
2 eggs
100 cal muffin with olivio and no sugar added jam

Lunch:
smoked turkey sandwich from Schlotsky's
chips
diet coke
2 slices of pineapple

Dinner:
large baked potato with chicken, cheese and bacon (pub food)
2 glasses white wine
2 slices pineapple (technically when I got home, but only 20 mins later)

Exercise: 3 mile trail walk with stroller

Very meat-y day. Not typical for me to have it at all 3 meals or to eat out twice in one day.

I didn't have sweets this weekend because there wasn't an opportunity to have a sweet that I really considered worth it. I reserve the right to have something this coming week if I deem it worthy (but only one regular sized serving).

Very tired and hopefully will fall asleep quickly since I know I'll be up with the baby again at 3:30 am. (Don't really mind--she's a sweet baby so her still needing a night feeding seems like a fair trade off).

Breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee with skim milk

Lunch:
Wendy's BLT Salad
diet coke

Dinner:
pork roast
potatoes au gratin
salad
canned peaches
2 beers

Exercise:
1 mile run on treadmill
40 minutes on elliptical

breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee with skim milk

lunch:
leftover pork roast
baked sweet potato drizzled with olive oil
large chocolate chip cookie (I opted out of sweets over this weekend and reserved it until the day of my choice during the week)

dinner:
potato leek soup
homemade bread
2 1/2 beers
1/2 of a chocolate almond pastry

Exercise:
exempt due to to snow (I get two days off per week to use on day of my choice)

Weight still unchanged but in them middle of period so I don't expect to see anything different until that is over.

breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee with skim milk

lunch:
vietnamese noodle bowl with pork
(not fried) spring roll with peanut sauce

dinner:
apple
fresh ravioli with olive oil and parmesan
salad with walnuts, dried cranberry, veggies, vinaigrette
the other (not fried) spring roll (no this wasn't on the same plate--it was 10 minutes later, but it would have fit, so I'm still considering it green)
2 glasses red wine

exercise:
55 minutes on elliptical
I am wearing a heart monitor to exercise now and find I have to consciously try to keep my heart rate down enough to stay in the fat burning zone. The good news is that by keeping it between 115-123 BPM, I am not coming home completely exhausted and hungry after my workout. Still burning plenty of calories.

breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee with skim milk

lunch:
taco (actually a tostada al pastor, but easier to call it a taco)
queso and chips

dinner:
4 bbq pork ribs
a few bites each of potato salad and cole slaw (was sharing with partner and baby, so not much to go around)
apple
1 glass of wine

exercise:
45 mins of efx
10 minutes weights on arms and abs

Going to bed really hungry tonight. I didn't eat proper meals today. This has been a bad week in terms of planning ahead and having proper grocery trips and meals. Still on program though, as weird a menu as it has been.

I'm finding it really defeating to eat what I consider to be such a modest amount, AND exercise practically every day, and still not see the scale move. My friend says that I have to quit lactating completely before my body will let go. She may be right, but I'm letting that taper off naturally.

breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee with skim milk

lunch:
two big chicken tacos with cheddar, avocado,lettuce
canned peaches

dinner:
tuna steak
salad
rice pilaf
canned peaches

exercise:
55 minutes on EFX
5 minutes weightlifting (arms)

what a weird food day...road trip to baby shower
bfast
oatmeal, coffee

2pm
5 or 6 hors d'ouevres
2 vodka drinks
1 piece cake

5pm
sliced beef sandwich
chips
handful m & ms

9pm
chicken breast with skin
tortilla chips, cheese
orange

breakfast:
oatmeal with coffee
apple

lunch:
smoked turkey sandwich
chips
diet drink
chocolate chip cookie
beer

dinner:
homemade pizza
2 chocolate chip cookies
glass of red wine

exercise:
1 hour walk

The baby and I are both sick today, so it will be exempt for exercise but still stuck to No-S.

breakfast:
2 eggs
3 pcs bacon
100 cal. english muffin with no added sugar jam

lunch (eaten really late):
chicken breast with skin
oven baked sweet potato fries

dinner:
cornish pasty (homemade by my guy who's from Cornwall)
lg. orange juice
canned peaches

No exercise today. Bummed that we were feeling so lousy. It's horrible hearing my little baby cough.

bfast:
oatmeal
coffee
apple

lunch:
chicken breast
oven baked fries
mango

dinner:
pasta with basil pesto, chicken, fresh mozarella
orange

No exercise due to self and baby having bad cold and cough. I'm considering it an exempt day due to illness.

Wednesday March 3rd

breakfast:
oatmeal and coffee

lunch:
chicken sandwich
fries

dinner:
2 beef fajitas
2 glasses of wine

exercise: 1hr 20 min walk

Still feeling lousy but the weather was so nice, had to get out.

breakfast:
english muffin with peanut butter
coffee

lunch:
1 fish taco, 1 pork taco, rice, beans
lemonade
apple

dinner:
fried tilapia in mandarin chile sauce
steamed rice

exercise:
80 minute walk with stroller

breakfast:
oatmeal
coffee

lunch:
2 beef fajitas with lettuce and cheese
apple

dinner:
small filet mignon
potatoes au gratin
salad
2 glasses red wine

I am swapping my S-day with today and had my sweet. Reese's.
no exercise

breakfast:
egg mcmuffin, hash browns, coffee

lunch:
chicken salad sandwich
avocado oil potato chips (too many)
large brownie

snack:
chocolate covered peanuts

dinner:
quiche
salad
2 glasses red wine

apple

breakfast:
oatmeal and coffee

lunch:
2 beef fajita tacos
apple

dinner:
3 slices of veggie pizza
apple

no exercise today

oatmeal

4 pieces of tuna roll
slice of quiche
apple

large serving roasted veggies
small serving of steak

no exercise (baby still sick with a cough)

Yesterday was off the rails. I considered treating it as an S day because it was a kind of special occasion. We took the day off and went for an all day country drive looking at property. I didn't eat breakfast so pretty much worked on our bag of picnic food from 1pm right through bedtime. Easier to list it as a whole.
FOR THE DAY:
turkey leg
1/2 a chicken salad sandwich
serving of avocado oil chips
small amount of brie
2 slices of baguette
a few slices of salami
large chocolate chip cookie
large salad
no-sugar-added apple turnover
2 beers
probably a whole bottle of white wine cumulatively over the whole day

I actually think it was worth it to have a bit of a free-for-all. Due to illness and bad weather have been stuck inside with no recreation. We needed a day of carelessness. Today am back on track.

no bfast

lunch
other half of CS sandwich
the rest of the avocado chips
large apple

dinner
tortilla soup
canned peaches
2 glasses white wine

exercise: 80 minute walk

oatmeal

3 slices of leftover pizza
apple

2 chicken tacos
sliced peaches

handful of walnuts
swig of grape juice

Exercise: 80 minute walk

Today certainly wasn't a binge day, but it wasn't technically a green day either. I snacked in the evening and really felt like snacking the whole day. I think I needed to have had more rounded meals to really feel satisfied. This was too much like my old way of eating.

oatmeal

piece of quiche
left over potatoes
apple

roasted veggies
chicken breast
peaches & grapes
white wine

30 minute walk

bacon and eggs

chicken breast sandwich
apple with peanut butter
grapes

spoon of peanut butter

roasted sweet potato
small filet mignon
grapes

popcorn

no exercise