My No S Musings

[ShannahR]

8/11/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS 20 min urban ranger

Well yesterday wasn't too bad. I was okay No S wise, I took my morning multi. I did a small 15minbeachbod outside, it was hot and a little bit sweaty but I had a good time.

Today is looking a little perilous already. I had a meeting for breakfast which I feel like I ate too much at and a potential sweet...a muffin which was probably pretty sugary. I know you're only supposed to worry about blatant sweets but I usually refrain from breakfast pastries but this morning I just couldn't say no. This afternoon my work is celebrating all the summer birthdays. We decided to have a few big parties per year instead of one for each person. The theory is good for me because it limits the number of times I have to feel awkward about not having a sweet. I might just give in and have an "S event" though because it's going to be awfully awkward celebrating my own "birthday" without eating a cupcake.

Today I'll be unable to do urban ranger. It's already raining and I draw the line at rain. Maybe I can convince myself to do inside ranger later. Inside ranger isn't as interesting but it still gets the job done.

I'm going to have to be careful today. I'm not feeling very happy and that can lead to No S trouble quickly.

[ShannahR]

Yikes! Third page already!

8/12/2010
No S: Exempt
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE

Well, yesterday was a little tough. I did end up giving in and having a cupcake at the birthday celebration. On the one hand it was really tasty--strawberry shortcake flavor--and I really enjoyed it. On the other hand it gave me an immediate sugar stomach ache and I was too full for dinner. Oh well, I'm counting it as one of my NWS days for August anyways, I'm trying not to feel any guilt over it.

NON-SCALE VICTORY TODAY: I have almost finished my bottle of vitamins (4 left)! I have never, that I can remember, actually finished a bottle of vitamins. I usually just take them for a couple of weeks, forget about them and then throw them out when I find them a year later and they are expired. This is the reason I started morningmulti--well that and my doctor's advice but still, it makes me smile. On the down side, this means I need to buy more vitamins and they are expensive .

Not much planned for this weekend. My usual shopping trip: Farmers market, Trader Joes and Whole Foods (hopefully only one thing). We're making foccacia and layered vegetable pie for next week lunch and dinner. That should be tasty and it continues my streak of making myself good lunches. I think that about wraps it up. It should be a relaxing weekend. I always think that if I rest enough on the weekend maybe the next weekend I'll want to go out and do stuff. To be honest that never happens. I don't know if it's because I'm an introvert, have some social anxiety or if the week drains me so much that the weekend is never enough to have "surplus" energy.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

[ShannahR]

8/13/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

8/14-15/2010
S days

Well another weekend come and gone. This weekend was a big stomach ache. My diary eating ways finally caught up to me. I had been strictly eating no dairy products starting in January because I decided that my body was trying to tell me something. I am lactose intolerant but I've been trying to "get around" it all my life, I was taking lactaid, only eating small amounts of dairy, anything to still eat it. I quit in January. But then over the past two weeks or so I started slowly allowing myself to eat milk again. Some chocolate here or there, I started having yogurt for breakfast because it's "easy to digest" and has a lot of probiotics, I had some pizza, then ice cream, then cheese cake with lactaid of course, but you see what I mean. Anyways, Saturday my body finally said enough. I'm definately going to have to wean myself off of it. I started by redoing my breakfast. I'm now having museli with soy milk instead of yogurt. I had it this morning and it was actually pretty tasty, I got a soy milk with no added sugar (only 1g per serving). I don't really like to eat soy milk because it's really highly processed but I don't use much so maybe it will be okay, I could always switch to juice but it's pure sugar. Unfortunately I made foccacia and layered vegetable pie this weekend with my fiance to eat all week. They both have dairy but I'm going to eat them anyways, it's just too much work to make competely different food for me. The foccacia only has a little parm which probably isn't too bad. The layered vegetable pie has feta and mozzarella, I'll try to pick out what I can. The thing that will really make or break this plan is the S day treats. I'm going to have to go WAY out of my way to MAKE SURE I get some really nice treats with no dairy in them for the weekend or else this plan has no hope of working. Why is everything with dairy so tasty?!?!?!?

[ShannahR]

8/16/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS

8/17/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS

I realized this morning I had skipped a check in day. I don't want to slide down that slippery slope like last month so I'm not letting that trend continue! No S is going fine. 15minbeachbod has been no problem, I've had extra motivation lately because I stop at CVS and get free stuff on the way, that's pretty fun. Morningmulti has faltered a little bit and I've let it because I'm almost out of vitamins. That reasoning, of course, makes almost no sense. Maybe if I went out and bought some new vitamins that would remotivate me, after all I'm supposed to do this for the rest of my life, not just through one bottle of vitamins.

Funny story: I bought a groupon a few weeks ago for a box of organic fruits and vegetables. It was pretty cheap and I thought it was a good idea because we eat alot of fruits and vegetables and this means I won't need to go to farmers market. When I bought the groupon I THOUGHT it said 10-12 lbs. I was like "no problem, me and my fiance can eat that in a week." Well...this morning I was re-reading it and it's actually 18-20 lbs! That's a lot for two people in one week--I don't think he's going to be too pleased. This is kind of typical of my "money saving" behavior though. I can't honestly say that if I knew it was this much it would have deterred me . Oh well, we'll have to freeze some, and cook some, and eat some, and eat some more.

[ShannahR]

8/18/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Still going here. I feel extra "light" this morning. I wonder if that means 1) I'm dehydrated, 2) Less dairy products finally took effect 3) I lost some weight. Who knows, plus I find I don't really care, I like the feeling.

I'm already starting to think about the weekend. I've got an internal argument going. On one side is the "sympathetic" me who knows it's going to be my TOM and wants to let me eat anything I want. The other side is the "tough" me who wants to limit my sweets and seconds so that I lose some weight or at least don't gain any! I have to go to my cousin's wedding in two weeks now. Obviously, I'm not thinking I can lose 10 lbs or something but I would like to stay where I am or lose a lb or two. At this point I don't know who's going to win. That's a pretty tough battle. Last week I was supposed to negative track but I totally forgot. I'm not sure if this weekend is a good time to experiment. I was also thinking it would be easier if I just made a number of S events per weekend and stuck with it. I was thinking 4 would be generous. That give me two snacks per day probably after lunch and after dinner. I'm pretty sure I can do without seconds, it's the sweets I can't manage without. I would also allow sweets if they fit on my plate for lunch. Just a strict no seconds rule and only two sweet snacks per day. That seems quite generous and is pretty much what I do now. The thing I'm trying to cut out is the continuous snacking I sometimes get started on. If I get rid of that maybe my weight will start coming down again, and more importantly I'll avoid sugar stomach aches and Monday's "sweet's hangover". I'd like to lose a few more pounds to get to my goal of losing 20 lbs this year. I have quite a bit more time to work on it and not even 5 lbs to lose to reach my goal so I'm pretty sure I can do it. I've just got to stop the weekend free for alls .

[ShannahR]

8/19/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: FAILURE

Happy Friday! I'm feeling happy and "light" this morning. Two days in a row, it's a minor miracle! I had a little carb break down yesterday and ended up having pasta for dinner but I kept it to one plate so it still counts as success. It's kind of a pattern I have going unfortunately. When I get really tired or low blood sugar or stressed I can't think of anything that would make me happier than pasta for dinner. I suppose as long as it doesn't happen more than once a week it's okay. I've still got "diet brain" as far as pasta goes---I think it's not very healthy. I know that no foods are inherently "bad" or "good" but what concerns me most is that when I eat pasta I only eat pasta. No veggies or fruit or protein. That is not so good.

I just got back from urban rangering and I realized that it's become an enjoyable morning ritual. I think I've even become a faster walker from it. That's pretty exciting. It probably means I should increase my walking distance but I'm not sure how to do that yet--I don't want to stray too far I'm in a big city and some areas are not particularly safe.

Yeah for the weekend! I'm not sure what I'm going to do about Ss. I was telling my fiance last night that I wasn't going to be feeling well and he said I needed chocolate chip muffins . It struck me as pretty funny that he had his own prescription for that TOM. I'm planning on picking up some treats (with no or reduced dairy) so that I don't feel deprived. Chocolate chip muffins do sound good, I'd make them myself but it's easier to buy them at Whole Foods and I won't have extras tempting me during the week. I think I'm going to try the "restricted" S schedule this weekend. It goes something like this: 1) 3 plates of food per day--anything goes (sweets allowed) 2) 2 snacks per day 1 after lunch and 1 after dinner. That's a pretty generous schedule if you ask me--actually the more I think about it it's how I ate everyday pre-No S. If I can make it through this weekend eating like this I can make it through any weekend

This morning my mom sent me a picture she found of me back in about 2000. The first thing I thought was "wow, I was so skinny!" I would estimate I was about 10-15 lbs lighter back then. It was a mental adjustment for me because I realized that I still have quite a bit of work to do. I'm not going to let it overwhelm me though. I'm simply going to work on eating healthier--especially on weekends. I think a little restraint on weekends will help a lot. I would like to start slowly losing weight again, maybe 0.5-1 lb per month. I'm still on track for my goal for this year. If I get back on this losing schedule I'll make my 2 year goal.

[ShannahR]

8/20/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

8/21-22/2010
S-days! Scheduled Ss: SUCCESS

So, this weekend was a big VICTORY! I followed my "scheduled Ss" plan: 1) 3 meals, anything allowed 2) 2 snacks per day, anything allowed. I bought 4 sweet treats for my snacks and some little chocolates to have with my lunch and dinner. I stuck to the plan the whole weekend and I'm really proud about it. No overeating, no mindless snacking AND I was satisfied. No feeling of deprivation. It was a little "diety" when trying to figure out when to have my afternoon snack but I think I'll figure it out after I do it for a month or so. The biggest indicator of success: how do I feel? I feel great! I didn't have any stomach aches during the weekend. I woke up this morning hungry and with no "sweets hangover" (sweets hangover=water retention and/or stomach ache "yucky" feeling). So how do I continue from here? I think the best thing to do is try this for a month or two. It should become more natural after that amount of time. After that, we'll see. I might cut down a snack or cut out sweets at meals but for now I'll take it slow. It's possible that after a month or two of following this plan I'll naturally reduce the Ss. I'm going to take it slow and learn this habit first. Will it help me lose weight? I don't know. Seems like cutting out mindless/excessive weekend eating should help, but it's hard to say. The amount I'm eating on weekends is still a lot of calories. On the other hand, it's definitely a step in the right direction.

Other than that, it was a good weekend. We relaxed a lot, watched TV, read, made meals for the week, and relaxed some more. We made a new bread, 100% whole multigrain hearth bread. It actually came out pretty well. We tried to make boules but we didn't proof them in a bowl so they came out a little bit flat. They taste good though and that's what counts. I definitely feel rejuvenated from the weekend, which is slightly unusual for me. Our huge box of fruit/vegetables came. It's actually not as bad as I thought it might be. Sure it's a lot but it was a steal to get all of that at the price I paid. Fiance wasn't even mad I think we'll be able to eat it all this week, but we'll see. I already started!

[ShannahR]

8/23/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was an extremely busy day. I wasn't stressed out enough to consider straying from No S, but I didn't have time to urban ranger. I guess that's what happens when you use "work" time to do your exercise. Oh well, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I already did urban ranger today so the streak is not going to continue. I also had my last vitamin today!! That's good, but I'm obviously going to need more. I've already started looking for deals but, usually, the minute you need something is the minute you can't find any sales or coupons. Oh well, these are for my health which is important.

[ShannahR]

8/24/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS--Note: out of vitamins now

Happy hump day! I'm feeling good today. I've been No Sing in letter and spirit for awhile (including the weekend!!) and I'm feeling good, not "weighed down" by unhealthy food. It's awesome, I'm not sure why I didn't appreciate this feeling before, it's a great incentive to stick to healthy eating. I don't know if it translates into weight loss and, while that would be nice, I care much more about feeling good than losing a dress size at this point.
Today is looking good. The boss is out of town so I'm going to take work nice and slow. I'm not going to slack of course, but there's no reason to rush around like a crazy person. Slow and steady, no stress. There's a farmers market down the street that I'm going to urban ranger to this morning. It's a little weird because it's in the middle of a major city but whatever. There's an orchard that comes and I'm in the mood for some exotic apples, not delicious, jonnamac, cortland, granny smith or any of that nonsense. I was thinking about trying zestar or something I've never heard of before. Even honey crisp might be too boring, we'll have to see.
Sounds like I'm going to win the outlet mall battle this weekend. My fiance has given in. I'm excited. Some new clothes would be welcome. I haven't lost any weight in a few month but I still don't have as much clothes as I would like in my current size.

Have a great day everyone!!

[idontknow]

I know exactly what you mean - I love that feeling of not being 'weighed down'. I have so much more energy and particularly notice it when I'm going upstairs (hope that's not too weird!?). Well done - and make sure you treat yourself at the weekend

[ShannahR]

Hi idon'tknow,
Usually I feel that "light" feeling mostly in the morning. I don't have to be doing anything special, sometimes it's just when I'm sitting in a chair. I don't think it's weird to feel it going up stairs!
I like to pay special attention to pleasant short term "side effects" of eating healthfully. To me, it's one of the best "rewards." It's easy to forget how good it felt to lose a few pounds because I only weigh in once a month. However, it's easy to remember how good I felt this morning!

[kccc]

Sounds like you've found an S-plan that is working really well for you! That's wonderful!

My big breakthrough was "no perma-snacking" EVER. I can have one snack on weekends if I want (I usually don't), and seconds if I want them (occasionally) and sweets at every meal (oh, yeah!).. but starting on the non-stop snacking is a sure spiral-down for me. So, I just don't. And the funny thing is, I don't miss those snacks at ALL! (It's not a "failure" if I do - can't fail S-days - it just feels yucky, and I've finally learned that.)

I totally "get" what you're saying about waking up and feeling healthy and without any kind of eating hangover. Nice, isn't it?

[ShannahR]

8/25/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: EXEMPT --Still no vitamins

Still feeling good. Yesterday went well. I walked to that farmers market and got some crimson crisp and honey crisp apples. I really like apples that are crisp. Biting into a mushy apple ruins it for me no matter how good the apples taste. The honey crisp were beyond awesome good! I think I had forgotten how great these taste fresh from the orchard. I generously allowed my fiance to take the other one to work today. The crimson crips were good to. They weren't as sweet but had a really nice flavor. I also hate when you bite into an apple and it's like eating water. These apples were a little tart and spicy but had a good strong flavor.
Not much exciting planned for today. I'm going to urban range after this. It's nice and cool outside so that should be fine. We made a new dinner that we're having for the end of the week. It is called 30 clove garlic chicken. It's super easy, just throw spices, 30 cloves of garlic, and chicken in the crock pot and come home to dinner! It has great flavor and is probably pretty healthy. Of course, I like dark meat so that kills the healthy thing a little but still.

Looking forward to the weekend. I can't believe it's Thurs already!

KCCC--Yes, I totally agree with you. After looking back over my No S experience since January it's totally obvious that perma snacking is the difference between me feeling good or bad on, and after, the weekend. EVERY time I permasnack I feel terrible. I'm definitely going to try to stop. I probably won't be successful every time but I'm going to try until I'm successful. I also think you're right about not missing it. I notice that when I'm permasnacking I'm not really enjoying what I'm eating, I'm just eating it. It's like a compulsion, and once you get going it's difficult to stop. I think I'll stick to my "scheduled Ss" plan for a while and then I'll try weaning off of it to a "just don't permasnack" rule. Some extra structure is probably a good way to start. I also hope to get down to one snack an S day, like you, but I don't want to switch to that too soon and start a "rebellion."
Thanks for your input!

[ShannahR]

8/26/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: EXEMPT--out of vitamins

Finally the weekend! Yeah! Not much going on today. Looks like a great day for urban ranger, I'll probably get to that in a few hours. We ran out of food at the house so I've got a scraped together lunch and I bought myself some fruit from a truck. I don't think it will be too bad, I haven't had lentil soup for a while. Tonight I think we're going to get BBQ from a place near us. It's quite good because they just smoke the meat. I usually just buy some brisket and bring it home to have on a ww roll with fruits and veggies, it's almost healthy . Two football games on tonight. My fiance is in football heaven already and it's only preseason.

Weekend looks kinda busy. I'm going to get up early Saturday morning and run to farmers market. I really like having fresh local fruits and veg around and that means either go on Saturday or suck it up. I'll probably save the rest of the shopping for Sunday. After farmers market we're going shopping! Can't wait for the outlet mall! Sounds like there might be some good deals and I am going to splurge on myself as my "August reward." I'm trying to decide if I want to make some bread Saturday night. I'd make a new recipe. The fiance isn't on board because he says we have lots of bread, which we do, but we won't be making it next week because we're going to my parents house so I think it's a good idea to make some in advance. Sunday should be relaxing. Cooking, football, reading, etc.
Food wise, I'm going to stick to my "scheduled Ss" plan. It seems like I shouldn't have a problem with it because it's a very generous schedule. It basically means NO PERMASNACKING! I'm not going to try to do it, I am going to do it. Just like with N days--I don't try, I just do it!

[ShannahR]

8/27/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: EXEMPT--out of vitamins

8/28-29/2010
S days! "Scheduled Ss" SUCCESS

Well it's Monday again. I had a very nice weekend. Saturday I went to Farmers market to get a whole bunch of local fruits and vegetables for the week. Then I went to the outlet mall! Yipee. It was a pretty big success, but not what I thought it would be. I was all prepared to splurge on some accessories but it ended up there was nothing I wanted! Instead I ended up with a lot of clothes which is probably just as good if not better. For some reason, I believed that when I lost weight it would be simple to find clothes and everything would just fit. Where did I come up with such a crazy idea? It must be from the common belief that "my life will be better if I lose 10 lbs." Well let me tell you, it's still hard to buy clothes, I just have different problems now. First problem is my brain hasn't caught up with my body so when I initially pick stuff off the racks, it's all too big. So I ended up trying it all on, finding out it was too big, and then starting over again. Then I realized that I'm between sizes and that my top and bottom are at least one size different from each other. Ugh. I did end up with a lot of nice stuff though (for modest prices). It just took time and patience. Food wise I stuck to scheduled Ss for Saturday: muffin for breakfast, burger and FF for lunch, sticky bun and chocolate for dinner/after dinner snack.

Sunday was good too. We relaxed and read mostly. And cooked of course. Dinner for this weeks is braised beef ribs. I know they are extremely fatty but it's nice to have them every once in a while--maybe once every two months. I stuck to the scheduled s on Sunday too: breakfast muffin, lunch BBQ, fries, pear and chocolate crossant, after lunch chocolate, dinner BBQ, fries, chocolate after dinner snack sticky bun, chocolate. The last snack on Sunday night pushed me right up to the "sugar overload" edge. If I do get to the point where I'm scaling back on scheduled Ss I'll definitely get rid of the Sunday after dinner sweet first!

Short week this week (I'm taking Friday off to take advantage of the 3 day weekend--4 day for me!). Not too much stress either. I've gotta run, I need to do urban ranger ASAP because it's going to be hot today.

Have a good day!!

[ShannahR]

8/30/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: Exempt---no vitamins

Tuesday, ugh. I think I'm a little burned out. I came into work this morning already wanting to go home. I'm already wishing for the weekend...on Tuesday. That's not good. It's true that I didn't take a long vacation this summer (nothing more than 4 days) but still! A lot of people don't get vacations longer than 4 days.

Anyways, no problems with my systems. The morningmulti thing is getting a little out of control. I need to buy some vitamins no matter what the cost!

I'm planning to weigh my self this week. I have this expectation that I've lost some weight, but I'm not sure if it is really true. I've done a pretty good job this last month and I'm getting a handle on weekends.

I'm thinking to increase the distance of my urban ranger route. Right now I'm walking about 1.5 miles in approx 25 minutes. That's not bad, but I think I'd like to get up to two miles. I plotted out a route yesterday so maybe I'll try it today. I've got to get out there and do it though. It's already pretty hot.

Have a good day!

[ShannahR]

8/31/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: Exempt--no vitamins

Yikes! I can't believe it's September! What happened to the summer . Not much going on here. I'm tired, cranky and don't want to do anything. It's definitely burn out. I'm trying to combat it by taking it slow and setting a minimum number of things I want to get done and doing them. I hope that works.

I'm already considering skipping 15minbeachbod today. It's already hot and I don't want to sweat too much. Maybe I'll give myself a rest day today.

Good news on the vitamin front. I have been looking for some on sale or clearance but I haven't had much luck. However, I found a great sale for free vitamins starting in a few weeks. It's not a brand I would normally buy but free is awesome.

Today is going to be a tough day. Yesterday I went home, ate dinner and got straight in to bed. I know, it's sad. My fiance was a little puzzled at first but after awhile he climbed into bed with me and we watched TV (I know it's strange but we NEVER do that, he doesn't like TV). I don't see how today will be much better. I've already had a fantasy of my "treat" breakfast--bagel with egg and cheese. Yeah I know it fits on a plate but I try not to have it very often because it's not very healthy--white flour, cheese--I'm sure it has lots of fat and sugar which probably explains why I was craving it. I feel a little better now that I've had my muesli.

It's going to be a long day.

[ShannahR]

9/1/2010
No S: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: EXEMPT

Yesterday was a big bad failure . Now that I look back on this week I should have seen this coming. The signs were all there. I was exhausted Monday, I fantasized about a bagel, egg and cheese sandwich on Tuesday and yesterday I broke down. I think the problem was I didn't eat enough Mon, Tues and Wed. Yesterday I got home and was totally exhausted and got straight into bed. When I finally got up for dinner I decided to have pasta. I kept it to one (big) plate but after that I couldn't stop thinking about dried mango. I gave in and had it-FAILURE!! On the other hand, after that carb binge, I feel way better today--that's what makes me think I wasn't eating enough.

AUGUST: MONTH IN REVIEW

Well it was kind of a tough month. I weighted in yesterday and I'm up another 1.5 lbs, a total of 2.5 lbs up from my lowest weight . I need to change some habits. It's a bad weekend to start because I'm going home and it's a holiday but if I don't at least make an attempt now, when am I going to start? A month is only 4 weeks and if I'm going to get back to losing I need to start now!

No S: I did well with No S this month. I think I need to make some changes though. N days are going fine. There is a little bit of S day "creeping" though where I let myself eat something I normally wouldn't eat on Friday night. THAT STOPS NOW! I think I've figured out what's going wrong with S days. I'm eating only high calorie food. I eat fruits and veg all week and basically none on S days! Starting this weekend I'm going to get myself an S day treat that is a fruit! I think it will help cut down on S day treats that are high cal. I'm also going to stick with scheduled Ss.
Things to improve:
1. No Friday night "S day creeping"
2. Buy at least 1 fruit S day treat per weekend
3. Stick to "Scheduled Ss"

15minbeachbod:
I actually did well with 15minbeachbod. I'm keeping up the walking anywhere from 3-5 times per week. I'm going to start my longer route next week.

Morningmulti:
I did great on this considering I finished my bottle of vitamins. I have been doing a bad job of getting more vitamins and continuing.
Things to improve:
1. Buy vitamins 9/12

[ShannahR]

9/2/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE

9/3-7/2010
S days!

I'm back from my parents. I went there for the holiday weekend and attended my cousin's wedding and various other family events. No S wise I was fine at the beginning but the whole thing started to wear on me. By the time we got home Monday afternoon I was pretty upset and ended up eating a lot of junk Monday night. I think there were three main things bothering me 1) my family-'nuff said 2) people kept telling me how much thinner I looked but I haven't lost any weight since I've seen them so I felt like a liar--even though I did fit into much smaller clothes 3) work stuff--I got some very upsetting e-mails while I was gone. All in all I'm glad to be home.

Today is going to be rough. I've got to straighten out all the work stuff. I am going to buy food today which I don't like doing but I couldn't make myself pack a lunch last night. I'm just going to do my best. I can't ask for anything more.

[ShannahR]

9/3/2010
No S: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Still no vitamins

I don't really want to write much right now. I need to deal with what's going on but I'm at work right now and I don't want to break down. I also don't know who to talk to about it. When ever I talk to my fiance or mom it just makes them worry and feel bad, I don't think there's a need to spread it around if you know what I mean. I wish I had someone to talk to who could just offer some suggestions and not take it personally. I don't have anyone like that.

Yesterday was a rough day as predicted. I bent the No S rules all day, I ate 2 slices of pizza at lunch which isn't that much but they were huge and were served on two paper plates. I also ate fruit. That's a fail in my book. Dinner was about the same. I ate one plate of pasta and fruit (my depression meal) but then I ate a little more pasta from the pot. Fortunately, I'm sinking so deep into depression that food is starting to hold little interest for me. I had to force myself to eat breakfast. That should help with the No S compliance thing.

Right now I want to go hide some where really badly. Although that would make me feel better, I can't imagine it will actually help much. I'm forcing myself to stay here at work and do what I can. I will think as little as humanly possible today. I will simply do what is on my to do list and not think about anything. If I lived alone I'd go home and cry but in my current circumstances the only thing that will do is upset my fiance.

[ShannahR]

9/8/2010
No S: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
No vitamins...still.

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had since I got my degree (last year) Actually I'd go so far as to say it was THE worst day since then. In the morning I was in a total funk due to some work stuff (as evidenced by my post). I truly felt like I should just give up and quit my job. I went to McDs for lunch in order to comfort myself with one of my favorite foods, french fries. To be honest I actually didn't get into much trouble there, I had a hamburger, a bunch of fries and an apple (I brought that myself). It was probably a plateful. After I came back to work I talked to my boss and realized that he didn't think I was a complete idiot, nor did he think the situation was as big a disaster as I thought it was. That make me feel INFINITELY better. Dinner was where the No S problems came in. My fiance wanted to share a dinner that was clearly for only 1 person. This happens sometimes when we don't make dinner ahead, he likes us to eat the same thing (for some unknown reason) and we didn't have enough of it. After eating a very small portion I was still hungry, so I ate something else--seconds in my book so that was a FAILURE. Even though I don't think I went over a plate if I had virtual plated, still no good. I also had some apples an honey for Rosh Hashanah...but I don't really count that as failure.

Today I think I'm ready to get back on track. These past few days haven't been disasters, just not the best behavior. I'm going to do a short walk today. Eat 3 plates and try not to freak out. Modest goals.

[kccc]

Shannon,

Sounds as if you are having a rough time. I'm sorry.

Be gentle with yourself. If you recognize that the portions are too small at the outset, it is okay to "put more on your plate" as long as you don't exceed a plateful. If your fiance wants to share a too-small dinner, it's okay to speak up and say "we can share this, but let's see what we can add to make it a full meal." Don't let your efforts to be "strict" shade into being "unreasonably harsh". There's a difference. So, take a deep breathe, and treat yourself with the same kindness that you'd offer to a friend.

Find ways to nurture yourself. If you don't have friends that you can talk to easily, write in a journal (I do that a lot). Or write here - you'll get caring responses.

Hang in there.

Sending you best wishes.

KCCC

[ShannahR]

9/9/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Still no vitamins...I'm getting them Sunday/Monday though!

I'm definitely coming around the bend. Yesterday I successfully ate 3 plates (they were big and unhealthy but I don't care I'm calling it success) and I did my "short" UR route. That's success in my book, especially compared to Tuesday and Wednesday. Everything feels better-my mind and body

I would like to have some goals for this weekend. I intend to write them down right here and try to follow them. These are not intended to be punishments or harsh restrictions. I set these guidelines down with the best intentions, in order to 1) enjoy myself and food this weekend 2)prevent any feelings of guilt from eating choices 3) prevent any stomach upset from overindulgence.

1. I will enact the "S day slide" so that I may have dessert with dinner tonight. We are going to McCormick and Schmick and we only go there once every two or three months. It would be cruel and unusual punishment to not allow myself to eat my second favorite bread pudding in the world.

2. I will make myself chocolate crossiants (check these out at Trader Joe's in the frozen-I think they are to die for) this weekend.

3. I will buy myself a S day treat that is fruit. Anything I want, regardless of cost, from the farmers market or Whole Foods.

4. I will minimize mindless snacking and do my best to stick to 3 plates (plates can include sweets of course).

5. I will resume N day behavior at 5:00 Sunday evening.

6. I will stay away (within reason) from all allergens. Including dairy products and my new one (will I ever stop discovering new allergies?!? )--peanut butter.

Wish me luck! Happy weekend everyone!


KCCC--Hi there! Thanks for stopping in and your encouraging message. I think you're right about the fact that I'm being unreasonably harsh with myself. Unfortunately, that is often part of my mindset when I become overly depressed or anxious. I'm not sure if that happens to everyone but for me one of the signs of "emotional storms" is a voice in my head that critisizes EVERYTHING. Anything can trigger a session of thinking the worst thoughts about myself-- it's pretty terrible. Usually, only in retrospect can I appreciate the fact that I'm being completely irrational. You can see it quite clearly in my posts from Tuesday and Wednesday--which you picked up on.
Thanks again, it's great to know I can always come here for a kind word, that means a lot to me. Fortunately, it seems like this "episode" is almost over, phew!

[kccc]

KCCC--Hi there! Thanks for stopping in and your encouraging message. I think you're right about the fact that I'm being unreasonably harsh with myself. Unfortunately, that is often part of my mindset when I become overly depressed or anxious. I'm not sure if that happens to everyone but for me one of the signs of "emotional storms" is a voice in my head that critisizes EVERYTHING.

I recognize that pattern and that voice all too well. I think a lot of people do exactly as you describe. At one point, I even wrote little scenarios between the "characters in my head." They were...

The Internal Critic (IC). Formerly in charge, now banned, but likes to sneak back in. If he can take you over, then he reaches out to criticize everyone around you. The villain.

Emotional Self (ES) - kind of like an 8 year old in terms of emotional extremes- can be joyous or miserable in rapid succession. Needs acknowledgment and kindness, or will throw tantrums for attention. Also the source of compassion and joy. Very susceptible to the Internal Critic.

The Voice of Reason (VOR) - the "adult" rational part, who can face down the Internal Critic (once she notices that he's back) and comfort the Emotional Self. A bit too easily over-run, but getting stronger. Source of wisdom and balance.

Physical body (PB) - a tiny voice that you have to listen very hard to hear (unless you've done something to really annoy it, like eat to illness). Deserves more attention than it gets - an oft-ignored source of self-understanding.

(I know this sounds a bit silly, but I had a lot of fun developing these characters and writing conversations between them... and doing so often helped me work through problems/issues. PB was a late addition to the cast, as I started addressing some shoulder/neck pains...)

Whatever you call it, it's easier to see the Internal Critic taking over from outside than from the inside. That's why we all need people who will remind us to be kind to ourselves. Like that wonderful quote about a friend knowing the song in your heart so they can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words...

Glad you're doing better.

[ShannahR]

KCCC--
I don't think your characters are silly at all! In fact when I read them, I was like "that is exactly what's going on inside of me! I have all of those characters all the time!" The only difference is I think my EC is a two-year-old, 8 sounds a little mature to me I love your characters. I think I might steal them! It's great fun to think of stuff in those terms, like this morning I was walking (urban ranger) and I felt like walking more so I did. After reading your post I thought to myself "good job for listening to your PB"

Now if I could only think of a way to strengthen my VOR. I feel like sometimes everything is going fine and my VOR is like "great, I'll just take a break now." That's when everything falls apart. When my VOR gets back from "vacation" she's like "what the hell happened here? I was only gone for two seconds!

[Katie]

Hi!! So glad that the week ended well for you. Love the "guidelines" that you posted. Chocolate croissants are a great treat!!!

I hope you have a fabulous weekend. I am trying to stick to basic N structure this weekend with treats if they come up. We can do this!!!!

[kccc]

KCCC--
The only difference is I think my EC is a two-year-old, 8 sounds a little mature to me

I had an eight-year-old when I was writing up these characters, and I'm not so sure about that, lol! Amazingly sweet one moment, over-the-top difficult the next, with an instantaneous shift. Pick any age you like - that aspect remains when it comes to emotions!

Glad you liked the characters, and am flattered that you recognize them! When I was done making them up, I realized they kind of fit the old 70's "Transactional Analysis" Parent/Adult/Child schema (except for PB). So maybe they are sort of universal. It really has been fun -and useful - imagining conversations between them.

Love your VOR shaking her head at everything going to pieces when she leaves for just a minute...

[ShannahR]

9/10/2010 until 5 pm
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS

9/10/2010 5pm-9/12/2010 5pm
S days!

9/12/2010 after 5 pm
No S: SUCCESS

9/13/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS!

It might appear that I didn't write yesterday. However what actually happened is I wrote a long involved post and somehow erased it and didn't have time to type it again! I'll try to recap:

S days:
I was happy overall with my S day eating. I had my favorite bread pudding when we went out on Friday night as planned. I made (well my fiance) the chocolate crossiants for breakfast on Saturday and Sunday. I stuck to 3 plates each day. I purposely stopped eating at 5 pm on Sunday--eventhough I could have had one more plate for dinner I opted to have one dessert at 4:45 and stop eating for the rest of the day. The only two goals I didn't do so well on were trying to stay away from allergens (I had ice cream, but did stay away from PB) and buying myself a fruit snack. The fruit treat didn't work because I shopped with my fiance and he hurries me through the stores and I don't get a chance to look at anything. He apologized later.

Monday:
Habits back in place on Monday. Overall it was an average day. Not too much stress, I took my longer urban ranger route. I even BOUGHT VITAMINS! That's awesome because it's been a while since I've done morningmulti but it's BACK ON!!

Today:
Today my EC (see previous post) is pretty upset. It might be the fact that my inner critic is telling me I'm fat today. My clothes does seem to be a little tighter but on the other hand we're talking about just washed jeans. I want to weigh myself to silence my IC but I'm afraid the scale would show I had gained some weight therefore proving my IC right--and prompting my EC to have a tantrum. Here's what I"m going to do--I'm going to concentrate on really behaving well today: 3 plates (I'm going to try to shrink dinner a little bit because yesterday it was a little too big) and a nice long urban ranger route.

I will focus on healthy habits that I can do today and not worry about weight!

[Nico Blue]

Hi there
I was reading some of your posts and I just wanted to say keep up the great work and I feel encouraged by you. and also I was wondering what does your 15 min beach bod entail??

[ShannahR]

Hi Nico Blue--
Sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you yesterday! Welcome to No S! I'm glad my posts have inspired you to give No S a try. Regarding 15minbeachbod, right now it simply consists of 30-40 minutes of walking (urban ranger). It used to consists of 15 minutes of weight lifting because I was trying to get some muscle tone for when I wore a bathing suit at a destination wedding (hence the name). Right now I'm mostly using it for stress relief so walking works out really well.
Good luck with your journey!



9/14/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS

Yesterday was very successful. Huh. Despite that I'm unhappy for some reason--I'll get to that later. Yesterday meals went well. We've got a little banana problem though. I always buy bananas for breakfast--well last week we didn't eat them all so I made banana berry oat bran muffins. Well that was fine but I bought more bananas and now no one wants to eat them! Which means I'll have to make muffins again! I had better remember not to buy any more bananas or we're just going to have this problem forever..it's kinda like a mobile strip. Dinner was stew which I made on Sunday...and my fiance actually liked it! That's kinda funny because it's really plain--but I like it. I've decided to make something new and exciting next week, but I'm not sure what. Here's my criteria:
1. Can make in large quantities
2. Uses fresh in season vegetables
3. No dairy, no tomatoes

Doesn't look like too imposing a list but I always have trouble finding new recipes. I've got all week to figure it out though.

I've decided to face my EC today and write down the two things that are making me upset lately and challenge them. I'm hoping this will help me sort out everything.
1. I'm worried that I'm going to gain back all of the weight I lost in the past 6 months. I read that even if you keep up your healthy eating and exercise you can still gain the weight back.
Response: I know that I haven't gained that much weight back or I wouldn't fit into my clothes. Yes I've gained a little recently, but not enough for anyone else to notice. I will continue to tweak and evaluate my performance at No S to prevent further weigh gain but I have to take it slow and be patient. I can do this!

2. I'm worried about finding a job in the future. My current job is temporary and I'm not really sure what I should do next, I'm not even sure I like what I'm supposedly training to do now.
Response: It's not true that you don't like what you're doing now. You are simply seeing that there are other people out there just as good or better at it than you but that's no reason to be discouraged. I think I will attempt to talk to someone at career services. Maybe they can give me some jobs to think about. I will also start working towards a job by starting on some non-pipetting skills.

[ShannahR]

9/15/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS


Not much to say about yesterday. I was fine with No S--it's not very hard to stick to anymore. I did treat myself to a glass of juice which I normally try not to do but that's not enough to call the day a failure. I didn't get around to urban rangering yesterday. It just seemed like I was busy until it was time to go home. I'm going to try to do a better job today and I've written down a time when I'm going to go out. That seems to help because then I treat it like an appointment. Morningmulti is up and rolling again which is super good. I'm not sure about these new vitamins because they have a bunch of other gimmicky crap in them--vegetable and fruit extracts--but as long as they have the normal stuff I guess they are okay.

It sounds like my fiance is going to help me come up with a dinner for next week. This morning he said we should look through some cook books. That's rare because usually I"m the one thinking up the food and buying the ingredients. Not that he doesn't help at all--he's perfectly happy to help cook if all ground work has been done .

I've been struggling with my EC lately. I wrote down a couple of fears yesterday and when I read them over again today I realized that those two are definitely the root of the majority of my unhappy feelings. I'm taking action on both.
Fear 1 (weight gain): Yesterday to confront this I stuck to No S.
Fear 2 (job stuff): Today I am going to a seminar about job hunting. I also called and made an appointment with a career counselor.

I know this forum is supposed to be about No S and eating healthy. However, I'd like to think that my journey with No S has taught me that an important coping mechanism is to face what I fear and put together a strategy to fix it. As opposed to my old behavior of ignoring it and hoping it would go away. I'm trying to translate this lesson, and the fact that once you deal with something it becomes a lot less scary, to other areas of my life. I also think that the confidence I built by successfully losing weight with No S has given me enough courage to face some of my other problems. No S has shown me that I have the power to change things in my life if I want to.

[ShannahR]

9/16/2010
No S:SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday went okay No S wise. I had my normal breakfast but decided to go to a "lunch provided" seminar. That was fine but the lunch provided was gross pizza--which I ate but it wasn't very filling. The problem with that is I was starving by the time I got home and ended up having pasta for dinner. I stuck to 1 bowl which isn't too bad but I definitely wanted more. Urban ranger went well-- I was going to do a really long one but it got too hot and I don't like being gross at work so I stuck with my normal route.

I'm a little tired today but I'm determined to get at least a few things done. I'll feel better about the weekend if I finish the week "strong."

I'm still working with my EC. She's calmed down a little bit about the weigh gain thing. I'll weigh myself in a couple weeks and I'll keep trying my best. Serious work on the career thing starts today. Even if I learn that this career counselor can't help me at least I've started. I also found an event to go to on Monday which should help. The problem is it's going to interfere with my fiance and my evening but he's going to have to get used to it. I'll be much happier once I've got a goal in life.

[ShannahR]

9/17/2010 until 5 pm
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

9/17/2010 5 pm-9/19/2010 5 pm
S days!

9/19/2010 after 5 pm
No S: FAILURE One bowl mango chunks

I don't feel very happy about this past weekend. I'm not sure if that impression is based on reality or just a feeling. Strangely related to this, I saw a TV program on public television this weekend about your mind and body connection. It was a little strange but one thing the guy said really struck me. He said "don't believe every though that goes through your mind" he went on to say that thoughts aren't always true. It was weird for me to think that my brain might actually lie to me--it's still seems like a weird statement to me. On the other hand I don't doubt that it's true.

Anyways, weekend eating:
Friday night: 1 hamburger (home made from grass fed beef..mmmm), french fries, 1 chocolate chip muffin

Saturday: B: 1 chocolate chip muffin, L: hamburger, fries, mango chunks D:pasta, dried mango, apple tart, ice cream

Sunday: B: eggs, home fries, plum L: 3 chicken wings, potato wedges, D: french bread, vegetable pie S: bowl mango chuncks

I simply ate too much. I felt full on Sunday and didn't want dinner but my fiance wanted to "finish up" something. I hate when he does that! I listen to him and I"m sorry later! I should have just eaten one last sweet thing and called it a day! Next week I vow to: listen to myself and don't let outside influences tell me what to eat! Of course it's not all his fault, I have responsibility here too. Overall I think last weekend with it's gentle rules went better than this weekend. I'm going to try that again next weekend.

FEARS:
Weight gain: My EC is still harping on this one. I don't know if I've gained weight or not but I'd like to stop thinking about it!

Job: My EC is feeling way better about this one. I started looking into alternative careers and I'm feeling less "trapped." It didn't go exactly as planned. The career counselor was moderately helpful--at least she gave me some books as a starting point. I thought I'd find exactly what I wanted to do by reading career descriptions but it doesn't look like it's going to work that way. I did some self assesment which helped me think about myself in a new way. That made me feel better. Then I started reading about jobs. Some of them sounded good or had parts that I thought I'd like. The only problem was that none of them sounded EXACTLY like me. Well obviously I"m going to have to gain some skills so that something DOES sound like me. I'm going to a seminar tonight that might help. We'll see how it goes.

[ShannahR]

9/20/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

3S success yesterday! That's exciting. Everything went well yesterday. Since I got my new vitamins it hasn't been hard to stick to morning multi--it's like that little break got my enthusiasm back for it. No S was no problem yesterday, it is a habit after all and that's how it's supposed to be. 15minbeachbod was also no prob. I took my shorter route because yesterday was busy busy but the fact that I did it is what is important.

I have a seminar today about business etiquette that includes lunch so it will probably be more than one plate. I'm excusing myself in advance for that. I figure that as long as I don't over eat its not a big deal. I'll avoid sweets.

FEARS:
Weight: I woke up this morning feeling slimmer--probably the result of the end of my TOM. I'm ignoring any critical thoughts my IC might throw my way because of weight gain. My EC seems to be going along with that. I'm happy.

Job: Yesterday I went to a seminar about different jobs. It didn't really help me choose but I narrowed it down to one of 3 fields from a total of 5 or 6. I know that's not too impressive but still. Anyways, the meeting yesterday was an intro to a club that tries out all of these jobs. I'm not sure what I want to start with but I'm sure I'll be able to do more than one so I'll just pick one that matches my interest for now and change at the end of the year and try another.

Have a great day!

[kccc]

I know this forum is supposed to be about No S and eating healthy. However, I'd like to think that my journey with No S has taught me that an important coping mechanism is to face what I fear and put together a strategy to fix it. As opposed to my old behavior of ignoring it and hoping it would go away. I'm trying to translate this lesson, and the fact that once you deal with something it becomes a lot less scary, to other areas of my life. I also think that the confidence I built by successfully losing weight with No S has given me enough courage to face some of my other problems. No S has shown me that I have the power to change things in my life if I want to.

Wow, Shannah! What a great post!

I totally agree - once you stop using food to stuff down emotions/fears and start DEALING with them, it is life-changing.

You go, girl!

[ShannahR]

Hi KCCC-- Thanks for stopping by! I've been reading your thread--you have so much going on in your own life, I'm thankful you have time to drop by and encourage me!


9/21/2010
No S: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yikes! Yesterday looks bad. Not to give myself excuses but I have reasons for all of that failure up there. First of all, yesterday I was BUSY! I went to a 4 hour course of business etiquette which sucked up all of the urban ranger time--I still had to get some work done! Additionally, at the course we had a business lunch (with etiquette stuff thrown in of course) the problem was that it included stuff I don't really eat. By the time we got to the end I had eaten a small amount of salad, a small piece of chicken, and a piece of bread. I knew that wasn't going to get me through the rest of the day. I decided to eat the dessert and enjoyed every second of it--chocolate cake, yum. I'm marking it and moving one because 1) that's not the sort of thing I do every day 2) I paid to attend that course and eat that lunch! Anyways, I'm going to be better today. I don't have a ton to do so I'll urban ranger and take it easy. Sounds pretty good. Wednesday is a pretty tired day anyways so a slow pace will be good.

I also noticed my confidence is up lately. Yesterday I went to that course and usually I sit in the corner and don't talk to anyone. Yesterday I actually talked to two girls sitting near me and they were really nice! I also found out that lots of people in my position don't know what they want to do next...that makes me feel better too. I must say I was surprised. That might sound weird but I had convinced myself that I'm not good with people. That's not actually true I had some very nice conversations and didn't feel rejected in anyway. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that.

FEARS:
Weight: I feel slim and healthy today, it feels nice. I'm still sort of torn about the weight thing. I'm happy where I am but I feel like I need to lose more because of my BMI and stuff. On the other hand losing more is going to be a little bit of torture--which I'm not in for.

Jobs: Still working on it. But I'm feeling better about it.

[ShannahR]

9/22/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Hi No Sers!

All systems go yesterday. That's pretty good. I'm a little worried about urban ranger for today though...I haven't done it yet and it must be getting hot. I'll go in half an hour. I do like my walks after all. I think part of the reason No S has been going so well is that I made yummy stuff for all my meals this week...that always helps! I gave a presentation this morning and I felt good about it--what a confidence boost. Actually I think it went both ways, I've been feeling more confident lately due to facing my fears so that probably helped me give a better presentation which gave me more confidence! Nice how that works, huh?

FEARS:
Weight gain: I just read an article on BrightAngel's thread on weight loss and the scale. It made me realize that I probably shouldn't be so upset about "gaining" 2.5 lbs in the last 2-3 months. It could reflect the downside of my once per month scale attitude. If you happen to weigh on a day you're retaining water or ate more salt or whatever, you think you gained weight. I don't know if that makes me want to weigh more however, because then you can start an obsession. I'm scheduled to weigh again next week so we'll see how it goes.

Jobs: I'm doing much better on this. I feel like I've got stuff lined up to deal with it. My EC has quieted down--I can barely hear her sniffles anymore.

[ShannahR]

9/23/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

TGIF!!! (Yes, that's 3 exclamation points) Yesterday was a pretty good day. I didn't end up going urban rangering. That wasn't so good, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Today isn't looking great, the weather is terrible, I don't think it's going to rain but it's cloudy and misty and not very nice. Ugh. Morningmulti was smooth despite the fact that I had that morning meeting--it usually makes me forget but not this week!

I remember last week I wished I had set down some S day guidelines because after comparing S days with and S days without, I preferred the S days with. I'm going to do that again. As previously stated, these guidelines are not actual rules and are not set in stone, they are more like suggestions to guide me through the perils of S days and come out happy on the other side.

1. I will enact the S day slide tonight to have a take-in Chinese food dinner with my fiance.

2. I will cease S day eating habits at 5pm on Sunday-no exceptions!

3. I will stick to three plates of food (sweets are allowed on these plates) per day, and minimize snacking

4. I will have home made apple tarts this weekend

5. I will buy myself a fruit treat at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's

6. I will think of something special and fun to do!

...the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules-- Captian Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean

[idontknow]

Wow, Shannah - your thread is impressive. You are really working through your fears and taking time to acknowledge where things are going well. You have been so proactive with food, exercise and career - well done!
I'm pleased your confidence is growing. I have noticed the same thing in me. I think it's because I feel happier and more open - the sugar was weighing me down emotionally as well as physically - if you know what I mean.
Good luck with the career development

[ShannahR]

Hi idon'tknow--Thanks! What a compliment! I realized in the past couple of months that I hadn't done very much thinking about myself and my life. As you noticed, I decided to start now...better late than never I suppose.

9/24/2010 to 5pm
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Friday went well. I wasn't very inspired at work. However, I did end up going on a long urban ranger route. I figured if I wasn't getting much work done I could at least take a long walk. We had Chinese Friday night. It was pretty good but I think my tastes are changing because it wasn't as good as I remembered. Also, note to self, do not eat Japanese food and Chinese food together again. Something about the spices makes them incompatible.

9/24/2010 5pm-9/26/2010 5 pm
S days!

S days went okay. I made Cinnamon Raisin Walnut bread on Saturday. That was pretty good, maybe I had too high of expectations but I didn't like it as much as I thought. I ended up having two slices and freezing the rest (almost 2 whole loaves). I wasn't very happy with my Saturday eating habits. I ate breakfast and lunch. However, I then just ended up more or less continually snacking. I never got hungry enough for dinner and just kept eating snacks until I went to sleep.

Sunday was better. Had homemade pancakes for breakfast. Then I took the fiance to get subs at a new place. On the way we stopped at a bakery that I had read on line had the best doughnuts in the area. They were right about that. I've never eaten doughnuts as good as those! They were pretty heavy though so I ended up eating two (not at the same time one with lunch and one with dinner) and freezing the rest. My fiance loved them too. I have a feeling we're going back to that place . I had dinner at 5 (with doughnut) and then stopped eating for the night.

9/26/2010 after 5 pm
No S: SUCCESS

I seriously considered eating more several times but I realized it wasn't really necessary. I wasn't hungry I just wanted to eat. I get like that on Sunday night. I STILL struggle with the diet mentality that I won't be having any more Ss so I should have more before I can't eat any more. Even though I'm satisfied during S days, at the end it seems like I haven't eaten all the sweets I wanted to. Maybe the problem is variety. I usually buy/make more sweets than any rational person could eat in two days. I should stop that and maybe I'll be happier Sunday night.

Guideline summary:
I did well with the big one: I stopped eating Sunday at 5. Three meal structure gave me problems because I ate so much at meals I wouldn't want a sweet so I would eat it later. I need to remember next weekend EAT LESS AT MEALS if you want a sweet.

Have a good Monday everyone!

[ShannahR]

9/27/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Ahh, Mondays. Yesterday wasn't too bad. No S was successful. The only bump in the road was the fact that I stayed later at work than usual to go to a career thing which made me starving of course because dinner was late. I'm in the same situation tonight so I'm going to try eating a piece of fruit from dinner "early" tonight so I can pay better attention. I had to cut urban ranger short yesterday due to time I was pretty busy but it doesn't feel like I got a ton done... Morningmulti is chugging along, it's funny that morningmulti has gone from the hardest to remember to the easiest.

Today I'm going to try to be productive. I feel like I've been just stalling out lately at work for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm procrastinating, it's not like there is something specific I don't want to do, it's just kind of everything. Okay, today I'll put 3 "must dos" on my list for extra incentive. Hopefully doing them will give me a boost.

Fears:
Weight: That one's still there in the back of my head but it's less insistent than usual. I hope I can still say that at the end of this week, I think I'm going to weigh in on Thursday or Friday (or maybe both to get an average).
Job: I went to a career thing yesterday. It was a little weird, there was nothing about that particular career that I can point to and say "this is why this one is not for me." It was more of a general feeling that I wasn't really suited for it. Oh well. I've got another career thing tonight, and one tomorrow. After that I apply to join a team to try out one of these careers. There's also a career fair tomorrow. I'm not sure if I want to go--I'm not actually looking for a job but it's good to talk to people and see what the options are. I'll think about it.

Happy Tuesday!

[ShannahR]

It's time for me to face the truth. I'm not doing well with No S. Yes, I've been "successful" the vast majority of days, and yes I've eliminated sweets, snack and seconds during the week. However, as they say "the proof is in the pudding" and I honestly need to say:

I am GAINING weight

I am rather upset about this. I weighed my self this morning and I'm up to 161.5. That's up 4 lbs from my lowest weight of 157.5 at the beginning of July. So I've gained 4 lbs in 3 months which means I'm eating 150 extra calories a day. This needs to stop. At this rate I will be back to my starting weight in 10 months, next July--what a terrible birthday present! I'm not sure what I've so radically changed since January but something is going very, very wrong.

Fortunately, it's almost the beginning of October which is a natural time to reflect and change. 4 lbs is quite a bit of weight, but I've caught this before it seems impossible to change. I know that most people say you shouldn't add additional restrictions to vanilla No S but I've somehow gotten around it's restrictions to the point where I can believe I'm doing fine and gain weight, that is unacceptable.

Here are my goals:
Short term:
1. Over the next few days I will weigh my self to get an average and confirm my starting point.
2. I will figure out some new habits to establish for N days AND S days
3. I will start my new habits Friday, October 1, 12:01 am.

New habits:
1. Resume using the habitcal instead of just posting here in the daily check in thread.
Reasoning: I think that the daily thread is good but you don't get the "big picture" of the month that is so plainly visible on the calendar.

2. Increase strictness of 3 plates
2a. No more virtual plating--use plates even during work or "preplate" at home and only pack what can be fit on a plate
2b. Stick to 3 plates NO EXCEPTIONs--this means no fruit, salad, etc on the side, it MUST all fit on the plate at the beginning of the meal.
2c. Begin using the small plates at home--no exceptions.

3. Make S days into "sweet days"
3a. No seconds or snacks on S days--no exceptions.
3b. S days will consist of 3 plates of food--exactly like N days--except the plate can contain sweets. That will be the ONLY difference, no exceptions allowed.

Other things I'm considering:
No caloric drinks ever.
Calorie counting (ugh)
Low carb (double ugh)
Journaling all of my food here
Weekly weigh ins--graph the results or at least report them here

When I've finalized my list I will write a final form (perhaps even print it out to post on my fridge at home) and sign it. I am committing to my new habits until December 31, 2010. However, I will reevaluate at the end of October--just in case more habits need to be added or if something is way too hard.

Overall, I want to keep my goal to be down to 155 on January 1. That means I need to lose 6.5 lbs in the next 3 months. That is a pretty large number AND I'm going to try to do it over the holiday season--that will be tough. I made this goal last January though and I'm going to go for it. Even if I end up a little short I'll feel good about myself. I feel like my new habits should be do able. Let's face it, for me, going without sweets all the time is cruel and unusual punishment and I know I couldn't keep it up for the long run. I have faced this fact and I accept it. I think these rules allow for enough sweets to keep me happy.

The other side of the equation: exercise. I have been doing urban ranger but I know this is not a huge amount of exercise--perhaps I burn 100 calories walking per day. Right now I think I'm not going to mess with it--for two reasons.
1. I want to focus on incorporating the new habits outlined above. I don't want to make myself more hungry by upping the exercise. I think reducing eating will get me further towards my goals than increasing exercise.

2. I have a new exercise program that I ordered to start next month. It will be fun and I'll actually want to do it. I think I should just wait until then to increase exercise.

I'm sorry this is so long but this is really important to me. If anyone has had the fortitude and time to make it to the end, I would appreciate any suggestions that you may have.

[sophiasapientia]

Hey Shannah,
I think it is great that you are nipping in this bud. Your plan sounds very reasonable. Personally, I think adding 1 & 2 may be enough turn things around. I certainly wouldn't add anything more than 1-3 to start. Whatever you do, aim to make the smallest changes neccessary so that they will be sustainable and you don't feel resentful. Minor corrections can make a significant difference.

All the Best,

[kccc]

Very wise of you not to get SO flummoxed by your setback that you race out for the latest insta-diet (that works for 2 weeks max). You sound like you're looking for reasonable, effective, sustainable changes in a very thoughtful way.

Also smart to double-check your weight. I can vary by 4 lbs in a few days, depending on TOM and whether I've eaten a lot of salt.

I agree with Sophisapienta that 1-2 on your list might be enough to make a difference. I also agree with YOUR assessment that waiting on adding exercise is fine - a few changes at a time are always best!

If those changes aren't sufficient, I'll gladly help brainstorm others - but those are such a good start that I don't think you need other suggestions for a while, lest you fall into "overload."

Good luck, and keep posting!

[ShannahR]

Hi Shannon, Hi KCCC!
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I'm trying to keep from over reacting to this, as you noticed, but it's definitely hard. After writing down that I was considering calorie counting or low carb or detailed food journaling I realized that those aren't going to work. KCCC is totally right, I'm looking for something that I can do long term to fix this, not a 2 week quick fix fad diet.
Although I'm thrilled that you guys think 1 and 2 are enough to turn things around, I think 3 is a wise choice for me. If nothing else, it limits the amount of sweets I can eat on S days. I don't think I'll feel resentful because I have "permission" to fill my small plate completely with sweets 3 times a day if that's what I want. And maybe that will happen in the beginning. The hope is that, over time, each plate will start to contain more and more real, healthy food. It's an experiment and every experiment involves risk but I'm going to try it and see how it goes. I have "permission" to change at the end of October if it's not working, but I have to at least give it a month.

9/29/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weight: 160

I decided to start on my new rules yesterday..no time like the present. That No S success you see up there includes plated breakfast and lunch as well as a small plate dinner. 15minbeachbod was short but I ran some errands at the same time so that was good. Morningmulti continues. I also started up my Habit cal again. I weighed myself again today and I'm down 1.5 lbs--obviously due to natural fluctuations but it was nice to see. Maybe I haven't gained more than the 2.5 lbs that I thought I had. While that does make me happy, I am still going to start my new habits. I want to lose more weight and I think my new habits will get me losing again. I'm happy to maintain but I'm not satisfied with it. I'm not willing to settle at this weight.

New Habits for October

I, ShannahR, agree to do my utmost to adopt these 4 new habits for the month of October.

1. Resume using the habitcal instead of just posting here in the daily check in thread.

2. Increase strictness of 3 plates
2a. No more virtual plating--use plates even during work or "preplate" at home and only pack what can be fit on a plate
2b. Stick to 3 plates NO EXCEPTIONs--this means no fruit, salad, etc on the side, it MUST all fit on the plate at the beginning of the meal.
2c. Begin using the small plates at home--no exceptions.

3. Make S days into "sweet days"
3a. No seconds or snacks on S days--no exceptions.
3b. S days will consist of 3 plates of food--exactly like N days--except the plate can contain sweets. That will be the ONLY difference, no exceptions allowed.

4. Weigh-ins every Friday, results to be posted here.

SUCCESS will be defined as following these habits 29 days of October. Failure will be defined as following these habits less than 29 days and will result in the loss of my October reward.

[kccc]

You know what works best for you. As Bright Angel likes to say, we are all an experiment of one. (I agree with her - what works for one person won't necessarily work for another.)

It is discouraging when your weight creeps up. Happened to me late last year, when under a lot of stress. I took a hard look at what I was doing, and searched for "painless little changes" that would make a difference. Don't remember what all of them were at this point - mostly cutting "creeping excess" - but the goal was keeping them at a level I could live with.

And you sound like you've found solutions you can live with. Go, girl!

A month is a good trial. Good luck!

[ShannahR]

KCCC-Its good to know I'm not the only one who has had a little "creeping excess" which led to weight gain! I think that explains it exactly. I didn't have a lot of other stress like you, I just started to be a little less strict and started thinking more about other stuff than being healthy. I think the whole thing resulted from the fact that the first few months were pretty easy and I lost quite a bit of weight with very little effort. However, I'm now getting close to my final weight so little bits of excess are enough to keep me from losing. I'm not sure if these new habits are going to work, I like to think they will. If I can't live with them, I won't just throw all of No S away, I'll come up with a fix.

9/30/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (rain)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weight: 160

The new No S habits are going well so far. I have been entering my habits on my habitcal. I have been plating using small plates much more strictly. Also, I weighed in this morning--my first Friday weigh in--and I'm still at 160. Seems like that 1.5 lbs was just a natural fluctuation so I'm starting my new habits at 160. I hope to lose 5 lbs by January 1. Definitely a do able goal, a little hard with the holidays but if I just stick to my small plates I should be fine. I'll have to listen to Reinhard's holiday pod cast again (maybe even a few times). I think his message that it's not really the holidays that do you in, it's holiday "creep" is spot on.

Tomorrow will be the first big test of the new habits. These are the most strict guidelines I've had for S days. I've actually been working up to it with the guidelines that I've been posting the last few weeks. When I think about it, this is the next natural step. It's a little scary but I'm going to try it. When I think about it, it's no less food than I eat during the week and it's actually more calories because the food on the plates will undoubtedly be more calorie dense. I won't starve. I think it would be best if I didn't buy any more sweets though. I've got lots at home and if I start buying more I'll be disappointed because there are only so many sweets you can eat on 3 "small" plates per day.

Happy October everyone!

[ShannahR]

10/1/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

10/2-3/2010
S days: SUCCESS

This was the first weekend of implementing my new habits so I'm going to "review" them so I can think about how they went.

The first thing that was different about this weekend is that I did not do my "S-day slide." Friday night I had a normal small plate dinner and that was that. I like that because then my Sunday isn't "cut short" which is what it feels like when I do the slide. Saturday I had my 3 plates, which included sweets. Not eating in between meals was a little irritating, sort of like having a fly buzzing around my head. I'm not sure why. I had plenty of sweets but I didn't really feel happy and satisfied about it. I was almost afraid the whole thing wasn't going to work. I actually felt hungry on an S day for the first time EVER. Of course it was right before dinner so it wasn't like I had to wait a long time to eat but still it was weird--I probably need to learn that it's okay to feel hungry on S days--S does not stand for "stuffed."
Sunday went much better, maybe I need time for the routine to settle into my mind. I had my 3 plates--I split up lunch so that I ate part of my plate and then waited and had part for a midafternoon "meal" which is totally okay. My habits stipulate that I can only have three plates of food-they don't say when or how. I basically loaded my plate at lunch time, ate what I wanted, put the plate to the side and revisited it later. I had dinner and was full and satisifed and that was it. No cravings to eat more all day Sunday I was satisfied and happy. When I looked back over the day Sunday night, it was with a feeling of content.
Did I eat less? To be honest I don't know. I think so because usually by Sunday night dinner I don't want to eat anymore because I've eaten so much prior to that. Of course, that didn't happen this weekend so I think that means I ate less overall. One thing that helped was we didn't make or buy any more sweets this weekend--I ate what I had which was plenty. Will this help me lose weight? Only time will tell.
I'm definitely declaring this weekend a success. I think that I will be able to settle into this routine. It sounds restrictive but it's actually not. This morning I woke up with the feeling that I had had a nice weekend, ate some treats, and I'm ready to go back to N day habits. No yearning for the weekend or sweets.

Have a good day everyone!

[ShannahR]

10/4/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (rain)

Yesterday was a normal Monday as far as I was concerned. I made some great food this weekend to eat during the week so I was happy. Breakfast pumpkin and cranberry muffins--double yum--it's like eating fall. Lunch I'll be having leftovers from last weeks "mexican lasagna" with vegetables--it's like eating a small dinner for lunch and I love it. I don't really like traditional lunch food--sandwiches, soup, salad etc, so a small portion of dinner food is perfect. Dinner this week is a chicken pozole soup, it's pretty good and to my surprise my fiance is a big fan of pozole. We've never had it before but I found it on sale at whole foods so I thought we'd try it. It's not more trouble than cooking beans or rice so it probably has a future with us . Urban ranger is in trouble. It's cold, rainy and nasty here. I know this is the time of year when you need to bring out your inside exercise plan but I'm not ready yet! I've got a new plan that I ordered something for that will be here maybe Nov 10 so I need to urban ranger until then. I might have to inside ranger today which I don't love.

Not much else. I'm liking my new habits. I believe I'm eating less. I don't know how to explain it but I'm feeling light already this week and I felt pretty light yesterday. I think because I ate less on the weekend there wasn't a lot for my body to process. It seems like a good omen.

Have a good day!

[ShannahR]

10/5/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: Failure
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday I had an interesting experience. I wanted to do a bunch of stuff right after work so I ate an apple on the train and went straight out to run errands. I was a little hungry but it went away. I came home later probably 2 hours after my normal dinner time and decided to eat a little bit of something because I had effectively had an apple for dinner. I ate a little pasta, did my night time routine and went to bed. After a few minutes laying in bed I realized I was STARVING. Now the question: did I get hungry because I ate only and apple and a handful of pasta for dinner? OR did eating a little bit wake up the hungry beast and I would have been fine if I had just skipped dinner? Skipping dinner is highly unnatural for me. It's not in my nature to fast or skip meals. On the other hand, in this country we have such an abundance of food, skipping one meal is hardly going to hurt. The lesson I would like to learn from this is: it's okay to skip meals if you're not hungry. If you are then by all means eat, but if I'm in a situation like this again where I've already skipped a meal and either the next one is close or I'm close to going to sleep, there's really no reason to eat just so that I can say I ate.

[Starla]

Shannah, I just read through the last page of your thread with great interest. I like the way you analyze a problem and identify possible solutions. I think that's a process that will serve you well, and not just with No S. What a great way to approach anything!

I have no rules for S days, but they end up being much like your most recent version. I like sweets, and I want to eat sweets every S day, but if I eat full meals on S days I can't eat sweets without stuffing myself. I tend to eat my sweets as a meal substitution, so that one morning I may have chocolate-covered almonds for breakfast, and the next day have an ice cream cone for lunch. I know these are not healthy meals, but they leave me very satisfied, mentally and physically. I think it's absolutely crucial that whatever you do on S days gives you that satisfaction.

Good luck! It sounds as if you've come up with something that will really work for you.

[oolala53]

This might be an idea for me. I know I've got to do something.

Months ago I saw a post by a woman who calls her plan Chocolate No S. She has dessert for lunch on Wednesdays, and uses only one weekend day for S days. She chose this after a long time of trying to make Vanilla work. If I didn't have such a short lunch at work (high school teacher- 35 minutes) I might try it, but I wouldn't want to have to rush lunch. Defeat the purpose.

[ShannahR]

Hi Starla--good to hear from you.
Unfortunately, my S days didn't naturally evolve as you describe yours did. I knew the problem was that I was trying to eat a meal AND sweets--the result was predictable, I was STUFFED all weekend from trying to eat so much. I'm sure you must wonder why I was trying to eat so much, the answer is on the weekends I eat less healthfully so I want to eat "meal" food as well as sweets. For example, I wouldn't eat a hamburger and french fries or fried chicken on a N day but I would on an S day. Not to mention all the sweets I want to eat because I know those can't be eaten on N days. You can see how that could get out of hand rather quickly. It's almost a kindness for me to have rules on S days. I believe they "force" the transition to moderate S days that occurs naturally for most people.

Thanks for the compliment about my problem solving strategies! It is probably not surprising that I'm a scientist--we tend to take life a little bit too seriously--everything turns into something to be analyzed, hypotheses formed, experiments carried out and data collected. I guess it's quite evident in this thread, I'm surprised people have the patience to read my posts when they must read like lab reports

oolalal53--
It sounds like we're at a similar place. The first "easy" weight is off and further tweaking of No S is required if you want to continue to lose. It's a dangerous place for sure. I suppose some people just naturally eat less and less...for me that didn't happen. My body adjusted to the new level of food intake and stopped losing (with plenty left to lose). I think it's great you want to try a mod to help you, I'll definitely be here to support you. On the other hand, I would feel terrible if you tried something I suggested and it was a disaster! Can you be more specific about what's going wrong? Lots of Red days? S days gone wild? No weight loss?

[oolala53]

Shannah, don't worry. There are no disasters for me on this journey anymore. There are disappointments, lots of drats!, but no disasters. And I take responsibility for the strategies I choose!

My issue is not wanting to give up exorbitant sweet eating on S days. I am working on it. It is all about emotional attachment. Though it wouldn't be a disaster (ha ha), I am reluctant to get too particular about my S day mods for fear of upsetting the relative adherence (and joy in) N days since I started just before the end of 2009. When I think of not being able to choose to eat way too much chocolate or cake with frosting on S days, a feeling of panic wells in me. I've been fighting this for years and this is the best I've done with ti for the longest time. Thus my cautiousness in modifying things. The biggest issue is finding structure and pleasure in my free time. Being a single-without-children work-overwhelmed semi-introvert can leave a gal with too much time on her hands. I've recently gotten a little more motivated as I think there are only 13 more weekends in 2010, so I feel compelled to take a few more risks. I had hoped to get the routine down this year and reap the residual benefits in 2011, so that by 2012, I can move on to other areas of focus.

[ShannahR]

Oolala53--
I totally understand not wanting to give up "exorbitant" sweets eating on S days. I felt the exact same way. I was positive that if I had more rules I'd rebel...and I still might, I don't know.
I do know that, contrary to my expectations, I actually enjoyed my sweets this past weekend (the first with S day rules) more than I had the previous month. There are several reasons for that probably. I wasn't stuffed, everything tastes better when you're slightly hungry (No S taught me that big time). There was a sense of anticipation, the sweets were "special," I indulged in a doughnut and concentrated on the fact that it tasted heavenly. I'm still in the experimental stage here, and I don't want to judge these new rules prematurely but so far so good. As I like to say "keep on keepin' on."

It's really great that you've improved your eating habits with No S. Slow, incremental changes are best. It's wise not to rock the boat too much.

I'm totally weirded out by the fact that 2011 is almost over, where did it go? However, I am facing reality, these new habits are part of my plan to reach the goal I set January 1 to lose 20 lbs this year. I've got 5 lbs to go, I haven't lost any weight for 3 months. If I want to make my goal I've got to make some changes!

You know, I was in a place similar to you regarding structure and pleasure during free time. Before last year, I didn't have free time. I was in school and we were supposed to work until we dropped. My free time consisted on sleeping and "resting my brain" which basically amounts to reading or watching tv. You can't enjoy yourself much when you are exhausted and you just want to be left alone. Last year I found out what it was like to have enough energy left over to have hobby (I know that sounds weird but it's true, I'd pretty much forgotten what it was like). What do you like to do in your free time?

[ShannahR]

10/6/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: Failure/success?
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

15minbeachbod is still suffering due to rain. Yesterday I walked to the farmers market because we needed apples. I even found a new favorite kind there, sun crisp they are very tasty. Then I walked back "the long way" to work but it was probably only a 10-15 min walk--not very impressive. Today looks like the day though, no rain and it's supposed to be warmer. Not much else going on here. No S continues with the new habits. I feel a little extra hungry this morning but I have a feeling it's due to the fact that usually I've eaten by now but this morning I need to wait for my morning meeting.
I'm already starting to get psyched about the weekend. I'm not sure what we're going to do yet but the fiance wants to go out and about. He says he's getting stir crazy staying home all weekend. At first I was like huh? But then I remembered, we changed our routine so I go out on the weekend and do all the shopping and he stays home and cleans. That means he usually doesn't go anywhere on the weekend--and I run all around town. I suppose it makes sense. He also want to go out to eat and we're trying to negotiate a restaurant. It's pretty hard because we like different things. I want a restaurant that's unique and quirky, has fresh ingredients, and makes everything from scratch. He likes upscale and steak. You can see the problem. I don't like going to super expensive restaurants where they serve stuff a la carte and when you order steak it's just meat on a plate. He does. I'm sure we'll figure something out, we usually do.

[ShannahR]

10/7/10
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (miniwalk)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh-in: 160

[ShannahR]

10/8/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS 15 min walk
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

10/9-10/2010
S days! SUCCESS

Another weekend gone, how come they go so fast? Overall, the weekend went well. I plated on my small plates, I ate some healthy food along with the unhealthy. Not too bad, until I managed to make myself sick from eating too many milk chocolate truffles, I ate six which is 480 cals. I definitely went a little overboard on those. They are easy to sprinkle on top of your plate! Well my stomach is mad, I'm assuming from the milk, and I don't think I'll forget not to do that again.

Monday means back to the boring old routine.

[ShannahR]

10/11/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (sick)

I had an outrageous stomach ache yesterday. It actually started the day before but I thought it was due to lactose. Now I'm thinking it wasn't because it was with me all day yesterday! On the plus side I believe I ate less but it still sucked. I woke up today feeling better. I'm going to try to eat cautiously though. 15minbeachbod is definitely going down the toilet. I'm going to try to get a walk in today but yesterday's stomach ache killed that. I'm hoping November gets here soon so I can change my exercise routine. It's starting to get cold and rainy already! I guess it is fall but I'm having trouble saying good bye to summer.

Happy Tuesday!

[ShannahR]

10/12/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR route)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was a "three green" day. I like those. It seems like I'm not having problems switching to the small plates this time like I did in the past. I'm not sure why, maybe I just wasn't ready before. I noticed my fiance switched too! I don't know if it was a concious choice or if he just does what I do but it's kinda funny. Urban ranger was back on track yesterday. Better weather helped and I did some errands on the way. I'm planning on going to farmers market today so that should get me a green, yeah! Morningmulti is clicking along, no problems with it anymore. I'm trying to get some more cheap vitamins as a back up so I don't have a long period without vitamins again. Not to mention I'd like to keep the back ups at home so that I take vitamins on the weekend (not to count towards the habitcal, no success or failure) just for health.

Happy Wednesday!

[ShannahR]

10/13/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (miniroute)

Woke up this morning hungry, but feeling lighter.

This morning I had a random thought wander through my mind: does No S get you accustomed to feeling hungry? And does this improved tolerance of hunger help you lose weight? FURTHER, do skinny people feel like this all the time? Not ground shaking thoughts to be sure but I had never really thought of No S in this way before. Maybe the experience of No S simply teaches you to tolerate hunger as a skinny person naturally does, which allows you to lose weight and be skinny yourself. On the one hand it kind of depressed me because I like feeling full sometimes--I don't really feel full during N days. Not that I'm starving or anything, I feel like I've eaten after a meal, I just never feel really full. On the other hand, full can get to uncomfortable in a hurry which then leads to regret and guilt. I have always wondered how much skinny people eat. Before No S I always assumed they ate as much as I did and that it was just their lucky genetics that allowed them to stay thin. Now, I realize that's probably not the case. Whenever I see a skinny girl eating something totally unhealthy I think to myself "that's probably the only thing she's going to eat all day!" That's a big shift for me. Before, seeing a skinny girl eat something unhealthy gave me "permission" to eat it too. I think being around a lot of skinny girls also gives me some insight. This might sound prejudiced but I've noticed that a lot of girls that go to Ivy league schools are skinny. I've discovered the source of this, they eat almost nothing. They even have a favorite lunch that I call the "skinny Ivy girl" lunch. It's an apple and a cup of yogurt. Yes, that's the standard lunch for skinny girls I've known from UPenn, Brown, and Cornell. How many calories do you think that could be 300? I also suspect many of them skip breakfast (yes, it's a limited sample set but I know many who do). So basically we're looking at maybe 1000 calories a day. Explains why they are about 100 lbs. I know this is a stereotype and not ALL the girls at ivy league schools are this way but it's nice to unravel a mystery. Yeah these girls are smart but the fact that they barely eat is the reason they are so skinny and attractive. It's not just luck.

Some things I'm proud of myself for:
1. I measured the amount of pasta I packed for lunch last night instead of just packing as much as would fit.
2. I didn't finish the gross bagel I was eating for breakfast (ate a little more than half).
3. Made myself go out and do my short urban ranger route before it starts to pour

[ShannahR]

10/14/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR route)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weight: 160ish?

I weighed in this morning as required by my new rules. I have an analog scale so I'm thinking it's not overly accurate. Anyways, it looks like I'm starting to be on the "light" side of 160! I hope this indicates the beginning of my weight going down! I have been feeling skinnier lately, it seems to me that if you feel skinnier than the number on the scale shouldn't matter, but it still does, doesn't it?
It's amazing how consistent my weight is even when I weigh once a week. I had prepped myself for huge swings when i started this once a week deal but it hasn't happened so far, probably for the better.

We're off to do some various activities with my fiance's family this weekend. I'm not really looking forward to that. He has been complaining because we never do anything. We'll only be with them for Saturday though so I should be able to handle it. I must remember not to stress eat. Anyways, at least Sunday I'll be able to get back to my normal routine. I hate to sound like a shut in but we don't have time to do any extra chores during the week so if we spend the weekend away from home the next week is torture. No food, dirty house, dirty clothes, etc. It's much harder to eat healthfully when you have no food prepared and try to "wing it." The only sad thing is I can't go to the farmers market, which means no duck for next week. Oh well maybe in another two weeks.

Happy Friday!

[ShannahR]

10/15/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS short UR
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

10/16-17/2010
S days! SUCCESS

Monday again! I did pretty decently this weekend. I went to my fiance's aunt and uncle's house which made eating a little challenging. No question I didn't eat as healthfully as I would have at home but I was able to keep to 3 eating events which was good. Sunday wasn't too bad either. I actually forgot to eat breakfast which is totally weird for me. It worked out okay thought because I had a plate of chocolate cake to make up for it . I'm not going to beat myself up about that. We had pizza and cake and that was lunch and dinner. I did a great job not snacking and because we split one piece of cake there was no gorging there either. I ate quite a bit of pizza, but I'm not going to freak out about it. So, I feel good about the weekend therefore it's a success.

I also did some great deal hunting this weekend which I'm very proud of. I've learned it's easy to get free stuff but it's hard to get free stuff that you actually need. I also organized my coupons (bigger job than it sounds) and did some serious swagbucking. I am starting to love swagbucks. It's really a great time. I have set up a "spam" e-mail account and a "spam" telephone number...I didn't even know you could do that! It's perfect because then the annoying people don't call your primary phone number. I earned a bunch of amazon.com gift cards this weekend! If you want to join feel free to click below!

[ShannahR]

10/18/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

I did great yesterday. No S went well, I did my short UR route, and I took my multi. Good times. Monday is usually the easiest day...it's goes down hill from there .

We made a new dinner on Sunday which we enjoyed yesterday. It was a vegetarian shepard's pie. I wasn't sure we were going to like it because it had several things in it not usually on our menu: parsnips, celery root, dried mushrooms, you get the picture. However, it's quite good aside from the fact that you have to add salt because we cook with no salt or pepper (my fiance is trying to cut down on salt so we usually add it after and I must be extremely sensitive to pepper or something because I HATE it). I think it will be good for the rest of the week.

I'm starting to have some trouble with lunch. I've been eating the same thing for almost two weeks and it's starting to get to me. I've definitely got to make something this weekend to change it up next week. I'd like it to be something warm and "bready." I'll see what I can think of.

Happy Tuesday!

[Kathleen]

I think your post from Thursday is dead on accurate. My theory, such as it is, is that conventional dieting makes people feel like they are starving all the time so -- naturally -- they eat more or binge after "cutting back." With No S, that isn't necessary because of the S Days. You learn to tolerate hunger -- which turns out to not be so horrible after all -- and still can splurge on S Days.
Kathleen

[ShannahR]

Hi Kathleen-- I hope everything is going well with you. Thanks for reading my thread. I've been thinking about hunger a lot lately, and I know you have too. If you accept the fact that skinny people are more tolerant of being hungry the logical next thing to wonder about is "why do some people become less tolerant of hunger leading them to gain weight?" I'm still working on that one.

10/19/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

All systems go for Tuesday. I think I hit a wall on my lunch though I decided to walk to get something nice for myself for lunch today. I'm not sure what yet, I've still go tot look into that. It does kill two birds with one stone though, if I walk to get lunch and back I've taken care of lunch and 15minbeachbod.

I've decided on food for next week. My fiance is going to be out of town so I'm on my own. That's fine, it just means I can eat some things he doesn't really like . I am going to make two meals for my self on the weekend and eat them all week for dinner and lunch. I'm going with baked pasta and vegetables (baked ziti but half vegetables) and my version of bi bim bap. It sounds like a good week. Now all I have to do is make the list, go shopping and cook it. Shouldn't be too bad, plus what a great reward!

I bought a groupon yesterday for a gourmet chocolate shop. It sounds pretty cool. They give tours which sounds pretty interesting and then, of course, you buy chocolate. Sounds like a good Saturday morning activity. I'm trying to think of things both of us would like to do on the weekend that ways my fiance doesn't get cabin fever.

Have a good Wednesday!

[ShannahR]

10/20/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE

Yesterday didn't really work out like I had planned. I was fine No S wise and took my morning multi. I had planned to walk to a nice place for lunch getting a nice healthy lunch and a long walk in all at the same time. When lunch time came around I realized there was no way for me to get all of my work done--I had to leave early to attend a meeting. I ended up running to the closest place (which i don't even really like) and getting a bagel with an egg. It wasn't bad No S wise, it would have fit on a plate and all, I just wish I had time to go and get something a little healthier. Oh well, I'll try again today.

Other than that everything is going well here. I've noticed my work load has increased a lot lately. It seems like work comes in cycles. Sometimes I'm so bored that I want to scream, other times I have no chance of getting everything done (which is upsetting). I wish things were a bit more consistent.

Anyways, two days until the weekend, yeah! I need to start my shopping list and decide on a treat. I'm hoping that my fiance and I will go to the biggest Whole Foods in the state--we don't go there often because it's 25 minutes away and we have one 5 minutes away (aren't we spoiled?)

Happy Thursday!

[ShannahR]

10/21/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (30 min walk)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh-in: 159!!

Well I am sure that my weight is going down, unlike last week. I know that Reinhard says not to get all worked up over a few pounds one way or the other but my weight is pretty consistent so I'm taking this as an indication that my new mods have started a downward trend! That's so exciting What a nice way to start off the day.

Yesterday I took a long walk to get lunch which turned out great. I went to a Mediterranean place and got a HUGE salad with hummus, pita bread and falafel on the side. I ate half of it yesterday and I've got the other half today for lunch. It is super tasty and I'm looking forward to it. Plus I got in my walk.

My fiance wants to go out to dinner tonight. I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, I'm happy that I cut out the "S day slide" not on Friday night, no on Friday night I HATE it. On Sunday however, I'm soooo happy that I didn't start my S days early! If we go to a restaurant tonight it will make it that much harder to stay strong! Ugh. On the other hand he's been talking about going to this restaurant for about a month now. I feel like a cruel jailer not going with him. I guess the obvious answer is go but stick to half of my entree and skip dessert. I love eating dessert at restaurants but I'll just have to suck it up. Maybe if I look at the menu ahead of time I can find something that I like enough to make the loss of dessert less devastating. Maybe...

Oh yeah one more thing. I wanted to mention something good that's happened as a result of No S. I know this isn't earth shaking or anything but: I'm starting to get my pasta addiction under control. Pre-No S I could eat 1 lb of pasta in one sitting easily. It was like once I started eating pasta I couldn't stop--it was like my brain kept saying "more, more, more!" until I had eaten the whole pot. As a reality check 1 lb of pasta is 1600 calories and I'm sure you can see how that can get you into trouble quickly. Additionally, I ALWAYS wanted to eat pasta--I would have eaten it everyday if my fiance could stand it (luckily, he can't). When I started No S, I gradually cut back first, I cut down to pasta once per week one plate full, then I moved to a stuffed full bowl. Last night I was able to eat only 1 half full bowl of pasta--probably 2 servings which is 400 calories which I consider a good amount for dinner. My stomach tried to convince me I was hungry an hour later but it passed rather quickly. In my book that's a HUGE victory: moderation in pasta eating!

TGIF!!!

[idontknow]

Well done, Shannah - great news about your weight You've worked really hard on your mods and deserve to have success.

Have a good weekend - enjoy the restaurant - whatever you decide to do about dessert!

[ShannahR]

Hi idon'tknow--Thanks for your kind words! I'm pretty excited to see the scales moving again. Also I'm starting to feel like the scale is moving again--that's just as important to me.


10/22/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR route)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

10/23-24/2010
S Days!
Saturday: SUCCESS
Sunday: FAILURE

These last few days have been a mix of good and bad No S wise. On Friday we went out to dinner which is always dangerous for me. However, I did really great. Yes, I had some bread from the bread basket but I didn't eat my whole entree so the bread could have fit on the plate. I told my fiance I didn't really want dessert and let him pick it and told him I might have a bite. The spirit of No S was watching over me however, because he picked something that turned out to be something I wouldn't like and I ended up just eating the strawberry off of the top. I don't think it could have gone much better. Saturday went pretty well too. I had my 3 plates of food and that was it. I was tempted Saturday night to eat more but I came on here to the boards and read a post by BrightAngel and the urge went away. Unfortunately, Sunday I had my first failure with the new rules. Everything was fine all day until after dinner. I ate my dinner plate but I wanted to eat more. My fiance had left (he's out of town on business this week) and I was feeling kinda lonely. Not to mention I had accidentally bought one extra pastry that I should have put into the freezer right away but didn't. I think you see where this is going. Anyways, I ended up paying for it because it gave me indigestion and made it hard to sleep.

Oh well, I'm going to mark it and move on. This just reinforces how important it is for me not to have any more failures this month. I'm also going to try extra hard to get all my urban rangering done this week. One last week in October--time to buckle down so I can call this month a SUCCESS!

Happy Monday!

[ShannahR]

10/25/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

I did great yesterday. No S wise lunch was a little bit too big so I packed less for today. Dinner was nice and satisfying-I MEASURED rice! I know we're not technically supposed to do that and I suppose it must be very WW even though I've never actually done WW. My reasoning was my dinner was mostly veg and fruit with an egg and a few small pieces of meat. The only place to get in trouble was too much rice. Therefore, if I measure only that I'll be right on track. It didn't bother me at all and because I could have as much vegetables as fit on the plate so it didn't seem like deprivation--plus I want this dinner to last all week and if I eat all the rice in two days I'm going to be upset. The weather has turned nice here (probably for the last week) and I went out to do some UR yesterday. Only two weeks until my new exercise "game" comes, I can't wait!

Because this is the last week of the month, I was thinking about my goals and "resolutions" for November already (they have to be in place by Monday after all). I'm still thinking about it but I'm not totally settled in to my October rules yet. Specifically S days with 3 plates is still a little bit of a struggle. I think I will continue with my current habits and add my new exercise when it comes. That's probably enough to deal with. After all I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving which will be challenging. I've been feeling like I'm losing weight again so if I can keep that up through November and lose a lb or two then it's probably all I can ask for.

Happy Tuesday!

[ShannahR]

10/26/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

I let it happen again. Sometimes I just feel like going out to urban range is too much work or the weather's not good enough or I have more important work to do or WHATEVER. Usually it's just an excuse because I don't feel like doing it. I always figure that I'll do it tomorrow. Then, inevitably, the next day is worse! For example, yesterday the weather wasn't great and I had a lot of work today so I put it off. Today, it's going to rain all day. Ugh. Not good.

Other than that No-S has been going well. For some reason I seem much more hungry lately than usual. I'm not sure if it's because I'm trying to eat too little or what but I think I'm going to bump up the amount I'm eating a very small amount. It's hard to get through the day starving. The hardest times are morning, right before dinner and I get a brief wave of hunger right before I go to bed--that one isn't that bad I can probably ignore it. I supposed that means I need to make lunch bigger. That seems easy to handle, I packed a little bit more pasta veggie bake today so that's a start.

Happy Wednesday!

Things I'm happy for today:

[ShannahR]

10/27/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (rain)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Thursday, finally! So yesterday I listened to my body and ate more for lunch and dinner. I thought I had done the right thing because even though I had a small hunger/emotion issue before dinner (triggered by missing the train) after dinner and before bed I wasn't hungry at all which seemed good. This morning though I don't feel right. Something is off, my head feels funny and I'm queasy. I had a similar feeling one day a few weeks ago and now it's back. If it follows the same pattern I'll be okay in a couple of hours but it's weird. I guess I'll just keep an eye on it and if it gets more frequent I'll do something about it.

Thank goodness it's Thursday! Just today and tomorrow and I can rest. I'm definitely getting burned out which is probably what happens when you haven't had a vacay longer than 3 days since April. It seems silly to waste time off now when Thanksgiving is so close. I know I'm burned out if I actually consider taking care of some of my doctors stuff just to have some time off!

Happy Thursday!

[ShannahR]

10/28/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR)
Monrningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh-in: 158.5

TGIF! So happy this week is over. Weigh-in this morning shows that I"m down 1.5 lbs for October. That's great. When I think back on this month it seems like the changes I made weren't very hard but they seemed to have been effective. I don't want to review my month yet because I have this weekend to go--and now weekend behavior is just as important as weekday behavior.

Tonight my fiance is coming home. We're going to have take-in but I think I should be able to stick to one small plate. From this month I've realized that when I "slide" my S days to include Friday night and leave out Sunday night it makes me unhappy. I think there are two main reasons for that 1) on Friday night I tend to stress eat which isn't really that enjoyable 2) The boundary on Sunday is murky if you just set a time when you stop S days instead of having it be when you go to sleep--it makes it easy to ignore it. So one danger spot--tonight dinner. Other than that the weekend should be okay--I definitely need to get in some chocolate though, I've been fantasizing about it!

Weekend here I come!

[ShannahR]

10/29/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (actually I don't remember)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

10/30-31/2010
S days! SUCCESS--well there was an incident with an apple but I'm giving myself a break.

November! How did this happen?!?! Seems like just yesterday it was 80 degrees-it's definitely not 80 today!

This past weekend went fine. I stuck to my habits Friday night when we ordered Chinese-I stuck to one small plate and called it a day. Saturday also went well, 3 plates and done. Sunday I had a small incident with an apple. I was feeling like eating at about 3 and I ate a small apple instead of sweets. Technically it was a failure of my new rules however I'm going to give myself a break. I probably could have fit it on my plate and it was pretty low cal and healthy so I'm going to excuse it. As far as mentally, the weekend went quite well. Saturday was slightly challenging. I don't mean to be offensive and stereotypical here, this is just how my mind conceptualized things. It seemed as if there was a fat girl inside me that wanted to eat and eat and eat. There was also a thin girl inside me that worried over every indulgence. I ignored the fat girl and tried not to let the thin girl bother me too much. That night in the shower I looked back over my sweets for the day and I was shocked. Compared to my pre No S eating I ate barely any sweets! I was totally amazed. There was really nothing for the thin girl to be upset about. I tried to approach Sunday more calmly. The thin girl was quieter and the fat girl seemed quieter too. My last minute "I can't have sweets for 5 more days" binges are largely gone. I credit my new rules for helping me reign in S days.


October in Review

No S: I think my new rules have turned around my No S situation. Last month at this time I was upset because I was maintaining/gaining weight. This month, I'm down 1.5 lbs, feeling thinner and more in control of S day eating. The new rules are still challenging but that's okay. Because the normal No S rules are automatic now I have will power to put into the new rules. Not to mention they are only in effect 2 days a week. I will keep going with these rules in November. It will be slightly more challenging due to traveling and Thanksgiving but it's the right thing to do.

Morningmulti: Piece of cake. No mods needed. Carry on.

15minbeachbod: I didn't do terribly with 15minbeachbod this month. I got out there and walked 3/5 days most weeks. Luckily I'm expecting my new exercise method to arrive next week so I'll be able to stop before it gets really cold.

Overall, I'm happy with my new habits and their results. The holiday season is coming up quickly so I don't think I'll be changing anything until January. If I can make it through the next two months, stick to these habits and maybe lose a little weight, I will be happy. One other quick note: it's my 10 month No S anniversary! Yeah. I know I should probably update my thread on the testimonials forum. However, I'd like to wait until my 1 year. I'll hopefully lose a little more weight and I feel like 1 year is more significant than 10 months and it's not far away.

Note: I was just re-reading this and I realized 10 months is without a doubt the longest I've ever modified my eating habits and stuck with it. It's pretty amazing actually.

[ShannahR]

11/1/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (short UR)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was a triple green! No S was no problem. I did eat leftover Chinese for dinner which was probably more calories then I normally eat but it was one small plate so it was acceptable. I've definitely been more hungry that usual lately--mostly in the morning, right before dinner, and right before bed-so a few extra cals probably isn't going to kill me. I got in a short UR yesterday even though it was COLD! Morningmulti was no problem.

This week is extra busy. I'm planning to go tonight to vote--my first time since I moved so that's a little stressful. Not to mention it's going to push dinner back quite a bit. I expect the poll to be crowded because I can't go until I finish work and my commute--so no way I make it to the polls until 6 at the earliest. Oh well I'm going to try anyways. My hair appointment got canceled for tomorrow which was sad and a relief because I have a meeting of my career club anyways. That's going to be stressful because I don't agree with the leader of our group about how we're handling our project. I have to decide either to go with the flow (the old go along to get along) or speak up. Thursday I am thinking about going to one of those shoe stores with the podiatrist--my feet have been hurting a lot and I thought maybe I could get some special shoes to help with that. Phew! Isn't that enough?

Not really because I have a list of other problems that need to be dealt with. I need to go back to the doctor, I need to remake the hair appointment. I need to go to the eye doctor too. Ugh. A little stressful but if I do this stuff I'll feel better afterward at least.

Have a good Tuesday!

[idontknow]

Hi Shannah - well done on following your rules in October and well done on the weight loss. Keep up the good work

[ShannahR]

idon'tknow--Thanks for the encouragement! I've been reading your thread and you've been doing well too. I know your weight is up a little but I think it's going to come right back off.

11/2/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was all systems go--except for the 15minbeachbod--but it was COLD! Well the good news is I've got a new exercise plan starting next week-if only it would come sooner!

I made a lot of headway on everything I was worried about yesterday. I voted which was no problem. The only thing that startled me was the fact that there were political groups camped out on the lawn in front of the polling place harassing people. Shouldn't that be illegal? I know it's public property but shouldn't they have a radius they can't be closer than or something? I also made my hair appointment--on the weekend so that will be less stressful. I made a Dr appointment for Friday which means I'll have to leave work early but it will be worth it if I can get some pain relief. I'm also going to go to the fancy shoe store where they assess your feet and stuff on Friday--getting it done in one fell swoop. Today I've got the meeting of my group--might be a little stressful. I've just decided to be honest--it's not like we're getting a grade here or something. I'm doing this for the resume building so I might as well be me. Maybe I'll learn something--if nothing else I learn about group dynamics.

I feel much better about all of this because I now have a plan and all I have to do is execute it. Very nice. I've definitely made improvement in this area--I procrastinate less. I'm doing a better job of taking care of myself too. No S is probably part of that--I am eating better and losing weight and that gives me motivation to take care of other things too. It's like I've put a higher value on myself.

Happy Wednesday!

[ShannahR]

11/3/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS


Yesterday was a good day. Yes, I failed at my UR again but it's cold out there. And now it's raining so I don't have much hope. To be honest I've pretty much given up on it. I've got a load of excuses: my back is hurting, my shoes are worn down so walking is weird, and now weather. I'm probably just going to let it slide until my new exercise gets here. No sense in torturing myself. No S wise yesterday was fine. Dinner was a little delayed but I was okay with it even though I thought it was going to be trouble.

I'm proud of what happened at my meeting yesterday. I think I've persuaded the group leader and most of the members to go along with the way I think the project should go. I think our leader is having a hard time--for several reasons--but I don't just want to go along with him. It must be very difficult to lead a group where there are people in it with a greater understanding of the project than you. I'm sure there's ways to negotiate that, after all you can't be an expert in everything. If there are I'm not going to learn it from this group but it might be something to look into. I might have been a little pushy but I feel like I'd rather get something worthwhile done and have people think I'm bossy than get nothing done.

Yipee for Thursday! Today is my day of rest. I've got nothing planned for tonight so I'll go home and relax and maybe play a little video game. I might also decide to go to bed early because I stayed up late last night. Tomorrow is a busy day I've got the Dr, the shoe store (can't wait for that, my feet are killing me!), AND I've decided to go pick up warm soft pretzels. They are a "regional specialty" around here and I haven't had any since June when my parents came down. Yesterday I was on the late train, hungry of course, and the guy next to me had 3 of them and the smell was getting to me. So I figure they are a good treat for the weekend AND I can have one on Friday as long as it fits on my plate because they are not technically "Ss." Normally I wouldn't because I pretty much classify everything unhealthy as an S (I know it's a little extreme but I think of it as my "fence around the law") but I'm making an exception this week.

Happy Thursday!

[ShannahR]

Okay, I hate to be a total dork but:

I'M SOOOOOO EXCITED!

My new exercise program is coming today! I want to leave work RIGHT NOW!

For everyone wondering WTF...
I ordered a Kinect--the new system for Xbox360 (yes, I'm a 30 year old female, with a Ph. D. no less, who owns an Xbox 360 as I said previously I'm kind of nerdy-possibly explained by the Ph. D.) and the game Dance Central. Yes, I know, at the surface it doesn't really sound like exercise. However, it teaches you how to dance and it tracks your calories--AND the review says you end up sweating--which qualifies as a work out as far as I'm concerned.

My back is hurting badly but I don't care--I'm going home early and playing tonight until I can't play anymore.

OH NO!

I just looked a little closer and it looks like the game is coming separately from the system! How could they do this to me?!?! Now I'm going to have to just sit there looking at it

[ShannahR]

11/4/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh-in: 157.5!

Everything went as planned yesterday as far as systems goes. I knew 15minbeachbod was a no-go due to rain. My back is hurting today--but not as badly as yesterday thank goodness. I'm going to the doctor so maybe I'll be on the road to recovery soon. I'm also going to buy new shoes and pretzels so this afternoon is going to be full but in a good way. It will be great to get out of work early too.

Unfortunately, my new game came last night--but not the thing to play it on. I didn't even bother to get it from the front desk of my apartment building because I would have only been able to sit there and look at it. Maybe it's for the best because instead of twisting my hurt back I ended up using heat to relax the muscles which really helped.

My fiance is finally back tonight. I'm not sure what we're going to do this weekend but it will be nice to have some relaxing time together. Not to mention an extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings time. Not too shabby.

TGIF!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm back down to my lowest weight during my No S journey! I had a hard time even believing it and thought I was misreading my scale. 6:30 is really too early in the morning to try to read an analog scale, maybe I should think about switching to digital. Anyways, that's very exciting, just around 2.5 more lbs to go until I reach my year goal.

[ShannahR]

I suppose you might call this a weekend update:

I went to the Dr on Friday. They always weight you which I think most people dread. However, I stepped on the scale fully clothed (of course) with my shoes, coat, purse--the whole deal. What did it say? 155. How is that possible? Me and all that stuff weights 155 and this morning stark naked I weighted 157.5? Obviously something is going on here. Is it possible that their scale is wrong? Do they get those things calibrated? I suppose it's more likely that mine is wrong. I know I should be estatic....which I am, but it means I missed the transition from overweight to normal weight (you know, BMI categories) which I was planning to celebrate.

What worries me is that if my scale is off by around 5 lbs I might try to force my body lower that is healthy trying to reach my goal weight (but I would actually weigh less than that because my scale is wrong). On the other hand, I'm sure my body will fight strenuously against that. You know what, I think this episode is making me obsess about the number which I decided not to do anymore. The motto is: eat healthy and your body will find the right weight. I like how I eat now and I'm losing weight so that's what needs to happen. I shouldn't fixate on what number I end up at. Easier said than done of course.

[ShannahR]

11/5/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

11/6-7/2010
S days! SUCCESS

This weekend went rather well. Friday was slightly unusual. I did a lot of chores which was awesome. I went to the Dr which I hate but I'm in pain and have been for 3 weeks which is kind of the limit. Anyways, it was the usual sort of thing, she can't fix it this moment and gave me a bunch more work to do. I got a little of it done but it's obviously going to be a long term commitment involving PT and all of that. Well at least I got over the barrier of starting. She did give me some pain medication but after reading about it, I've decided to only take it if I'm desperate--I'm not really interested in becoming an addict. Not to mention it puts you to sleep almost immediately--I took some Friday night before I read about it and I fell asleep an hour later at 7pm! Obviously they won't work during the week. So after that I went to the pedorthist--fancy name for shoe store where they tell you what to buy based on your feet. I ended up buying some shoes and orthotics which I've been wearing and really like. I think I'm going to be happy I did that. Next I went to get some fresh soft pretzels and then to get my prescription. The weird part came when I decided to eat two of the warm soft pretzels even though it was only 4 in the afternoon. I decided to just take the failure--but then I decided not to eat dinner so it ended up being a success. I'm sure you're not supposed to do that but it's a rare event so why not?

Saturday went as planned, 3 plates and done. We went out with some friends and I stuck to half my entree and no dessert. The food wasn't that great so it wasn't really worth eating a lot. I had a few chocolates when I came home which would have fit on my plate so I'm calling it success.

Sunday I had a small slip. I ate some dried mango at 4:30ish and also ate dinner. But it would have probably fit on my plate. I'll try to be more strict next weekend but it was still way more moderate than pre-Oct so I'm calling it success.

Overall, I've noticed that it no longer occurs to me to eat between breakfast and lunch or after dinner on weekends. However, there's a danger zone around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. On week days I'm usually so busy that I ignore it. On weekends I get the urge to eat...I need to think of a way to combat that.

Today I've got lots to do, nothing too stressful though.

Have a good Monday all!

[ShannahR]

11/8/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (mini UR, >1h DC)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was a good day. Everything went well at work. I went to get a flu shot and did a mini urban ranger--it's cold out there. When I got home my new exercise game was there so I did that too. It was really fun and i was playing on easy and worked up a sweat. I'm sure it didn't "torch" calories but the point is to get moving and have fun and I accomplished that.

Nothing else much going on with my systems. They are all working well with minimum of will power and/or attention needed. It's nice when things are smooth sailing.

Happy Tues!

[ShannahR]

11/9/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (45 min DC)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Overall yesterday was a good day. A few systems troubles. First, I didn't want to eat my lunch. That happens sometimes when I'm trying to eat something I don't really like or have had a lot of. I get to a point where I'd rather starve than eat what I've got. That's not good of course because then I'm starving later and starving leads to temptation. Fortunately, I got through it with no snacking and the offending meal will never grace my table again.

The other problem is my new game. Yes, I was super excited about my new game. Yes I love the new game, I could play for hours--therefore burning lots of calories. I even have the patience to "practice" and learn new moves so that I get better at the "performances." The problem isn't so much ME...it's the fiance. He doesn't like the game and will only play it for short time periods. I think it's a combo of the fact that he doesn't like the music (he's more of a rock than a pop sort of person) and he's not very good at it. Now, normally I'd have no problem with that because I don't expect us to always like the same thing...that's insanity. The problem I have is that he tries to limit my playing time when I'm enjoying myself and burning calories. The simple solution would be for me to play when he's not there and believe me if that was possible I would. Unfortunately that NEVER happens. He is ALWAYS there when I am. We leave from work at the same time in the morning and he ALWAYS gets home from work before I do...usually several hours before. Additionally, on the weekend I'm the one who goes out and does the chores when he stays home. Basically I NEVER have a moment to myself. *sigh* That's pitiful considering we don't even have kids. The only other possible solution is to find a game he likes so we can play together and burn cals. I'll have to work on that--unfortunately, as is common with something new, there's not a lot of choices right now.

Happy Wednesday!

[kccc]

The problem isn't so much ME...it's the fiance. He doesn't like the game and will only play it for short time periods. I think it's a combo of the fact that he doesn't like the music (he's more of a rock than a pop sort of person) and he's not very good at it. Now, normally I'd have no problem with that because I don't expect us to always like the same thing...that's insanity. The problem I have is that he tries to limit my playing time when I'm enjoying myself and burning calories. The simple solution would be for me to play when he's not there and believe me if that was possible I would.

... The only other possible solution is to find a game he likes so we can play together and burn cals. I'll have to work on that--unfortunately, as is common with something new, there's not a lot of choices right now.

This is not my business... so feel VERY free to ignore any of this unsolicited advice.

Assuming that you aren't actively neglecting him or your normal household duties... this is not YOUR problem. It's his. And you don't have to take it on as yours.

Yes, playing when he's not around is good. So is looking for a game you both like. And making sure that he DOES get a reasonable amount of quality time with you is always beneficial for a relationship. And, just because you love him, probing for "what exactly is the problem here?" is a good thing too... to see if there's a legitimate reason you don't understand, that can be addressed.

BUT... after that, if you want to play and he doesn't, he just needs to deal. Put on headphones and listen to something else. Go out for a bit. Do his own exercise. Whatever.

And you can tell him that, kindly but firmly. It's called boundary-setting. And I think it's important in long-term relationships, so you don't lose yourself in "us." There has to be a balance.

My $.02, which you are free to disregard, of course. (Just please realize that it's meant well.)

[ShannahR]

No, KCCC you are totally right.

After reading the part you wrote about trying to figure out "what exactly is the problem here?" I suspect the simple fact is we don't spend a ton of time together in the evenings. I get home around 7:00 and we go to bed extremely early, sometimes even 9:00 (we get up at 6 and we're both big sleepers--and we have no kids). Basically evening "together time" is at a premium. Now, instead of us spending that together, I want to play a game he doesn't particularly like and he probably sees that as a threat to "together time." That's reasonable even if I don't like it.

It is probably time for some "boundry setting" as you call it. We do tend to have a lot of "us" in our relationship and not much individuality. I will try to think of a way to negotiate the situation. I'm definitely not giving up my game even if he refuses to play but at the same time, he deserves some of my attention each evening--I'm sure I can come up with something reasonable.

I also wanted to thank you for taking time to read my thread and give me some very wise advice. I know you have a lot of very emotional stuff going on in your life right now (I've been reading your thread of course) and I really appreciate you taking the time to give me a reality check!

[ShannahR]

11/10/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: SUCCESS (1 hr DC, 100 cal)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Two interesting notes from yesterday:

1. I think the problem with the game and my fiance has been resolved. I came home late yesterday and he was like "want to play your dance game?" I was surpised because I was under the impression he didn't really like it. I asked him about it and he said "just because you are dancing doesn't mean I have to." I guess he was under the impression that if I was playing he had to too. Turns out he's perfectly content to sit on the couch and drink beer and listen to the music while I dance. He even picked out another game he'd like to get--it doesn't come out for a while but we'll get it eventually. Problem solved.

2. I went to McDonalds yesterday because I came home late and I was starving and picked it up in a train station. I haven't been to McDs in 3-4 months if not longer--don't worry this isn't my regular thing. Anyways, I stepped up to the cashier and ordered my pre-No S regular--kinda a reflex--one of those big "value" meals (which the only purpose of is to get you to eat more). Immediately after it was out of my mouth I was like "what am I doing?" I don't need a hamburger that big and I don't even drink soda anymore! I canceled my order got a regular hamburger and a small fry and left (after receiving some nasty looks from the employees--I guess they don't like it when you change your mind they are rated on speed after all). After eating my order and an orange (I had it tucked away in my bag) I realized that I was full! Not that that should be surprising--when McDs opened a hamburger and small fry was the "normal" meal to order. These super sized value meals that we all order now are the weird thing!

Happy Thursday!

[ShannahR]

11/11/2010

No S: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh in: 159.5

Yesterday was a chosen failure. I' was feeling a little down, not drastically but it's probably a combo of work and back pain. Anyways, my fiance e-mailed me and asked if I wanted to meet at a restaurant for dinner. I really wanted to and we went and had a really nice time. The actual dinner was not a failure, I ate 1 plate of food and didn't even finish my whole entree (we shared) I definitely ate more moderately than I did pre-No S. My downfall came with dessert. I decided to go ahead and have the most heavenly looking piece of 3 layer chocolate cake. It was divine and I don't regret it. As a result, my weight is up a little this morning and I failed yesterday. I've already put it behind me and I know today will be no problem. I'm hoping that this incident will help me with this weekend actually. For some reason the thing I've been wanting most each weekend is a piece of chocolate cake. Because I already ate a really nice piece, I think I'll probably go light on sweets this weekend.

TGIF!

[ShannahR]

11/12/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: FAILURE (extreme back pain)
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

11/13-14/2010
S days! SUCCESS a little wobbly


Monday again. *sigh* I'm planning on taking it slow and easy today.

Friday was awful, and I mean awful. I was fine when I woke up but what I got to work I must have moved wrong or something because my back started hurting really bad. It was easily the worst pain I've had since I hurt my back this time, at least an 8 on the "pain scale." I couldn't concentrate, I could hardly sit down, I was dizzy from pain. I didn't have my heavy duty drugs with me and I didn't think I could get home. I decided to try to wait it out a while and it did get quite a bit better--I stayed most of the day and went home. Normally, I'd eat to comfort myself and I did have my comfort dinner of pasta but I stopped at one plate. I'm calling it a success.

The weekend was okay. Saturday I was a little lose about the rules and ate a tiny bit not during meals. Sunday was better but I kept having that voice in my head that is telling me I'm eating too much. Weekends seem to be getting harder rather than easier. On the one hand I had lots of success last month being a little more moderate on weekends so now I want to eat less. On the other hand, it's starting to trigger a little bit of rebellion. I feel like the weekend is the only time to eat certain foods and I should eat them or I'll never get to have them. I often want to eat past the point I should (which I at least recognize--that's new). This weekend, I tried not to eat between meals which was mostly successful but it was hard. My most successful technique to avoid it is to think back to what I just ate and how nice that was and how full I felt and then distract myself. I wish the cravings would just go away but I don't know if they will. Its not that I'm hungry, I just want to eat. Then of course I feel guilty and all weekend I feel like I ate too much even if I didn't. I woke up this morning feeling "right" which I define as not still stuffed or feeling the effects of over eating. Still I will the weekends were a little more peaceful.

[ShannahR]

No S: SUCCESS 11/15-16/2010
Morningmulti: SUCCESS 11/15 Failure 11/16
15minbeachbod: Exempt 11/15-16

Just a quick update. I'm doing well with No S--it was more difficult yesterday when I stayed home so I'm glad to be back at work. I stayed home yesterday (which caused me to fail Morningmulti--no vitamins at home!) and did some medical/back stuff. I'm on hiatus with beachbod until my back starts feeling better.

Have a good Wednesday!

[ShannahR]

11/17/2010
No S: SUCCESS
Monringmulti: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: Exempt

Well yesterday I had a breakdown. Now that I think back on it, it wasn't as bad as some of them have been. Part of the issue was pain. I was in some serious pain after PT on Thursday-and I thought they were going to make me feel less pain, hah. I worked on a figure all day and at the last minute my boss asked me to make a change that turned out to be a nightmare (of course I was already losing patience so it's not all his fault, it was a reasonable request). Then I went to my meeting and I don't like what's going on in my project either--we're not doing what the client wants us to do simply because we don't have very much time left and our PM wants us to have something to show for these last couple of weeks. If we do what the client wants we could come up with nothing. I understand his reasoning but I don't like it. By this time it was way past dinner time. I ended up going to McDs and ordering a big burger and fries--which I enjoyed but is definitely something I don't want to be eating-it didn't violate any official rules but I am upset with myself for doing it. When I got home my fiance told me he wanted to go home for a couple days--you see he has a real job and gets a lot more time off than I do. I guess I'm jealous because I feel guilty for every day I take off and he is entitled to days---and he gets paid more for the same amount if not less work. The only thing that made yesterday not a complete failure was the fact that I didn't eat anything else after my McDs breakdown. I simply whined and was unbearable, took drugs, read some and went to sleep.

[idontknow]

Firstly - take heart from the positives - you didn't succumb to more food, so well done
You are obviously not well and the constant pain is wearing you down. Everyone has days like those - (well, I know I do!). I don't know if there's anything you can do about your situation - maybe you just need to mark it and move on - but don't be too hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day...

[ShannahR]

Hi idk--thanks for your kind words. I do tend to be hard on myself. I can't expect everything to be sunshine and flowers but for some reason I do .

11/18/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: Exempt
Morningmulti: SUCCESS
Weigh in: 156.5

Yesterday was a good day. All systems were go (except beachbod but I had a good day with my back so a few more of those and I'll be back to it) and I got a lot of work done and felt quite happy. The weekend will a good time to relax and recharge. We're making challah for Thanksgiving--we'll be freezing it and bringing it to my sister's in our carry ons! I'll try not to eat too much but it's so good right out of the oven.
Weight is down a little this morning. I'm glad I lost the excess from last week. I definitely need to look into a digital scale...having to read your own numbers is getting annoying.

TGIF!

[kccc]

I ended up going to McDs and ordering a big burger and fries--which I enjoyed but is definitely something I don't want to be eating-it didn't violate any official rules but I am upset with myself for doing it.

Sounds to me that you did extremely well with a rough day.

I'm reading that (1) You had allowed food (even if you recognize it as stuff you shouldn't eat often) and (2) you acknowledged genuine pain and took steps to address it (medication, sleep) instead of over-eating afterwards...

I would consider the way that you addressed that rough day as a triumph, not something to be upset with yourself over.

Celebrate accomplishments, and give yourself the credit you deserve.

[ShannahR]

Hi KCCC--
After reading your and idk's messages and thinking about my behavior lately I think I'm starting to fall into a dieting mentality. I have been pressuring myself to eat less and less lately, and feeling bad when I eat something unhealthy or more than the very minimum. Its starting to wear I think, I've been hungry a lot lately and somewhat cranky. I've developed the mentality that if I don't eat less I won't lose weight--I really want to keep losing and get to my goal for this year.
I probably need to start approaching this another way. I'll think about.

Thanks for the input

[ShannahR]

11/19/2010
No S: SUCCESS
15minbeachbod: EXEMPT
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Friday was a pretty good day. I felt well physically. I kept to my systems and I was happy.

This weekend I tried to loosen up a little and move away from the restrictive mentality that I've been falling into. I played some of my game which was super fun. Unfortunately, I think it irritated my back and it didn't feel very good on Sunday. I had some nice sweets and we made challah but I didn't gorge very much so that was good. I got some bad news from the doctor on Sunday night and I'm still upset about it. More doctors and worrying, I hate that.

Today's goal is to not irritate my back and keep to No S. I'm just trying to keep my mood fairly positive. No extra rules, I'm just sticking to the minimum. I'm going to try to get some stuff done at work because it makes me feel happy. I'm going to eat my fav dinner because it makes me feel happy. Everything I do will be to keep myself in a calm, mostly happy state. I will try not to get stress about anything.

[ShannahR]

11/22/2010
No S: FAILURE
Morningmulti: SUCCESS

Yesterday was tough. I ate a piece of corn bread after dinner so that was the failure. I'm not sure why I ate it, I was just feeling lonely and worried and that sort of thing. Okay I guess I do know why--it was emotional eating. Well at least it didn't lead to emotional binging--I ate the piece and stopped so while it wasn't good it could have been worse. I decided to mark it instead of cover it up or tell myself that I could have put it on my dinner plate. It's okay to fail sometimes, I'm not perfect and I shouldn't expect myself to be. One piece of cornbread shouldn't effect my self worth, it's just a piece of bread after all. I don't feel too guilty, on the positive side, even though I'll be in a similar state tonight I don't think seconds will be tempting.

[ShannahR]

*sigh*

I'm not even sure where to begin. Let just say I'm in survival mode today. I'm going to try to do the most important things and leave everything else for another day. I will try to stick to No S, I'm out of vitamins so I've failed that one, and of course my back still hurts. I think I'm giving 15 minbeachbod a rest until Christmas. Wish me luck.

[ShannahR]

11/29/2010
No S: FAILURE
Morningmulti: FAILURE
15minbeachbod: Exempt

Yesterday didn't go so well. I'm obviously up set about something. I was fineish--I had some issues but they didn't manifest as eating- until I got home and had dinner. We decided to order chinese and I ate seconds, and thirds. It was not good. I would really like today to be a success so I can finish November with only two fails and two NWS days. I'm very upset and I can't figure out why. Nothing bad has happened to me. All the signs are present for a major break down though, I failed No S, I bit off all of my nails, I have no motivation to do ANYTHING. I basically just want to go home and hide. That's a bad mode to be in on Tuesday. I refused to pack my lunch last night so I don't have any healthy food with me. That means lunch is potentially trouble--on the one hand I want to be nice to myself and get a treat (within N day rules) the other part of me wants to make myself eat something super healthy even if I don't like it. I think, in light of yesterday, today my eating goal should be to stick to No S--even if I eat unhealthy stuff if I will use all my willpower to stick to 3 plates.