Graham's Daily Check In

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.4, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 32.3%

8:32 Fasting since yesterday at 11 am. A snap decision, seemed it might fit Thursday and Friday's activities pretty well. I haven't slept all that long though - I was restless, stayed up watching rubbish films on TV till 1:30, then woke just before 7 - 5 1/2 hours sleep isn't my usual quota, but the same thing happened on my very first fast, which was breakfast to breakfast.

I've had problems with low motivation on fasting days, and I'm going to be out from 1 to 6pm today (voluntary telephone help line) so I didn't want to be fasting - I'll be travelling by bike, as usual, and thought it would all be easier if my fast was finished at 11 and I was fed and restored by the time I picked up a phone. I think I cope a bit better with fasting now I'm low-carbing - I even wonder whether it is necessary to do both - but when I look at the bulging pouches of fat at my waist, I just want that crap off me, NOW, so long as I'm not compromising my ability to get on with life.

I had no fizzy water, now I'm drinking a light (30seconds brewing) black tea and waiting to see how I react to it.

OK, it's 10:07, I didn't have any problem processing that tea (No Milk, No Sweetener, No Sugar). I started listening to the Gary Taubes interview (link on the WWGF discussion between BA and Kathleen) and feeling I should be doing something, did my whole isometrics workout. Went fine: not weak or struggling. The rower might be a tougher proposition, but I'm confident I could do my yoga. That is a very convincing broadcast.

When I think of the time I've wasted fatter than I need have been, if I'd just low-carbed from time to time, it is SO simple.

11:25 - what a brunch! chicken breast, mushrooms, onion, capsicum, pineapple, peas - all my 5-a-day in one go!. Hard to avoid hitting 5 a day on a low carb diet: take out the bread/starch, what to fill the space with? Some can be extra protein or fat, but I can't afford large quantities of quality meat, fish or poultry (13 oz of free range chicken breast has to last two meals), so it's fruit and veg to the rescue.

Nuts? just as expensive as good meat here, cashews, for example, work out much the same price per lb as good steak. I keep thinking I should grow my own hazelnuts, but they aren't my favourite nut and I don't have anywhere convenient to store them after harvesting. (No, wait. what about the loft, that's cool, and might be dry enough) Other nuts I like (almonds, macadamia) wouldn't do well in this climate, then for walnuts or chestnuts, if they would grow here, will take years from planting to be ready to harvest.

What about dairy & particularly cheese? I see some low-carbers seem to avoid fresh milk, though not yoghourt or cheese - but, as a food: I like cheese, but I can only eat so much of it. I'm planning to broaden out a bit - I've been a fan of Simply Strong cheddar for years now, so it's been cheddar on toast, or grated on any pasta dish I was forced to eat. Yes I don't like pasta! I feel cheated when I eat pasta, except maybe buckwheat spaghetti or buckwheat ramen - they are passable, but for stodgy starch I far prefer our dear friend, the potato.

Low-carbing will increase the nutrient density of my diet! Space for not only more vegetables and fruit, but a greater variety of them, and nuts too - I'll end up eating more of them as well, to fill the space left by the starch component of my meals.

[Graham]

@10st 10lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.3%

I was very hungry by the time I ate my second meal yesterday. I ate around 9pm - stewed minced beef with onions, carrots, tomatoes with some garlic and flavourings/nourishing stuff - I even put a little molasses in beef stew. I had a beer as well - it went to my head fast, I felt weary as the lift it gave subsided. As there were fried potatoes on offer I had some too. Felt weary again after eating, and it wasn't such a low carb day with the beer and potatoes.

Without an accurate scale can't be certain about the weight, the waist is accurate within the limits of measuring my own living belly - I have to consciously relax it sometimes or it is falsely pulled in.

Well, when I look back to last Saturday, it looks like I made no progress whatsoever! Damn! Can one small beer and one modest portion of fried potatoes have cost me so much? How to understand? Will keep going anyway. What to eat now the S days are here? Am I still going to low-carb it? I thiink I'll meditate first, then coffee, maybe clearer after that.

today is not low-carb. I did have low-carb pancakes - but, now I have eaten chocolates. 4 chocolates. I had some biscuits - but they were made with nuts and egg, though they have icing on top. Now, thinking, what of the rest of the day?

The carb trap - once you start on them, you feel ok as long as you don't stop - then you crash. Avoiding the crash keeps you going back for more even when you're longing to stop. That is addiction isn't it?

4pm I am SO TIRED. I'm almost certain it's the chocolates/carbs, which seems so unfair - can't I even have a few chocolates without being wiped out? Seems like my cage is getting smaller....

[connorcream]

The carb trap - once you start on them, you feel ok as long as you don't stop - then you crash. Avoiding the crash keeps you going back for more even when you're longing to stop. That is addiction isn't it?

Sugar is my crack. I plan on having a piece of chocolate lava cake at the luncheon today. I have the weight, cal, carb budgeted for it. However, if I find that the resot of the day is a pull towards more of the sugary stuff, I wil have to ask, Is it worth it?

DD, 24yrs, said something so true. DH&I had gone to a pretentious Italian restaurant after on Open House. Again, seafood cannelonni bdugeted for, low weight, etc..., Aside from the annoying service, mislabled menu, and other problems, after the meal and into the next day I felt out of sorts. I had 2 pieces of rustic italian bread and cannelonni. DD has come to the point saying, these italian places are over priced, service is poor (most of the time), and she would rather go to a steak house. I had decided the same thing. Rather get a nice piece of beef with veggies & salad, than pay a heavy price for cheap carbs. Pasta is cheap in terms of ingredients cost.

[Graham]

@10st 12lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.7, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 31.7%

Can't say for certain, but it looks like all the week's successes have completely vanished. (Sunday to Sunday) Yesterdays "excesses" were: 4 chocolates, 4 biscuits, and seconds with my evening meal of beef stew with some spaghetti, vegetables, cheese and a yoghourt and apple jelly dessert.

I ate as much as I wanted. One day. I am really wondering about the whole S day thing when I'm trying to lose rather than maintain weight. It doesn't seem compatible with my goals at all. I end up feeling miserable - that's not what they are supposed to do, so why keep knocking my head against a brick wall?

The S day dogma isn't compatible with the rest of what I'm doing and my body. The fasting is too demanding to throw it away for so little pleasure. Could low-carb S days work? Or is excess always going to cause me the same problems?

[Graham]

10st 12 1/2lb, 38 1/2" BMI 23.9, WHtR 57.5%, Body Fat 32%

This is a bit crushing. All gains lost. Sunday was what? Breakfast was nothing massive - 2 sausages, 3 potato pancakes. Lunch - a grapefruit. Dinner - remains of beef stew, lettuce with vinaigrette, kale, carrots, 1 slice of bread. Later I had a chocolate. There were coffees and teas during the day, artificially sweetened, with milk. Only on Saturday could I say I behaved a little excessively - I did have 4 chocolates, and a big evening meal, with yoghourt dessert - but nothing really tells me why my weight has shot up, except that I abandoned what got it down - eating carbs. Not lots, but more - sugar in chocolates, starch in the potato pancakes and bread. Is that it? Is that the explanation for a week of completely failed effort?

Is this the choice - restrict calories or restrict carbs?

3:10pm A difficult discovery - whole milk contains 27.5grams of carbohydrate per pint! I have it in tea and coffee, sometimes as a beverage on its own - it has good things like calcium in it - and protein - just a matter now of figuring out how the rest of my diet would fit around that, if I were to become a carb counter (and I can feel it coming...)

Oh-oh - the pineapple in my favourite chicken stir-fry - 14g in 2 slices. 10g in the onion, 5g in the capsicum, 3g in the mushrooms, 1g in the Broccoli -
That's 33 g. If I added one pita bread (as I often did) that adds another 33g - double the carbs. hmmm.

A practical issue does arise - with severe carb restriction, how to maintain a sound mineral intake.

A Good Discovery: when I'm not having milk or sweetener in it, instant coffee made with just one teaspoon per mug works perfectly well! It's actually nicer as it isn't so bitter. The strong stuff is only bearable with milk and sugar to soften it's bite.

[TexArk]

10st 12 1/2lb, 38 1/2" BMI 23.9, WHtR 57.5%, Body Fat 32%

This is a bit crushing. All gains lost. Sunday was what? ....but nothing really tells me why my weight has shot up, except that I abandoned what got it down - eating carbs. Not lots, but more - sugar in chocolates, starch in the potato pancakes and bread. Is that it? Is that the explanation for a week of completely failed effort?

Graham, you are living my past! You have probably followed some of my thread and know the story. But I would gain back each weekend all that I had lost on perfect N days. Sometimes a binge would be set off, and I would gain back the lost plus more. But even if I was "moderate" in adding in a dessert or homemade breads, I would gain. Life is not fair. However, I really am enjoying good food the low carb way...roast beef and chicken, deviled eggs, steamed veggies, a few almonds, a little cheese...frozen blueberries..Greek yogurt... I love it. For a month I have averaged under 60 carbs and have had no sugar or grains and have been losing steadily without hunger. I do follow the 3 plates, no snacks, seconds, sweets. I just don't bother with S Days as such.

[Graham]

10st 10 1/2lb, 38", BMI 23.6, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 31.2%

I should have mentioned the No-S F I'm not writing out the whole word, I think it has the wrong impact on me. I do want to track the whole compliance issue honestly - but the label should be chosen according to it's overall impact. The F word isn't helpful to everyone, you have to know what word to use for yourself.

I hadn't eaten much, and what I ate was all low-carb, then I hit the choir tea-break - I allow the biscuits - but the walnut whip? No. It was offered, and I didn't say "no". It was what I expected, sugary nonsense - but I went for it anyway. I was hungry and I'd had few carbs, it was cold too. Not a surprise, only this - I barely registered it was a blatant No S fail. Mind is sitting on unconscious processes with great subversive power.

[Graham]

10st 10lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 32%

1:22pm - suddenly my chest is congested: I ate 2 sausages, a fried egg, fried onion, apple, pineapple, ketchup cooked in a little sunflower oil and coconut oil. then came instant coffee with milk and cologran sweetener (mixture of sodium saccharin and sodium cyclamate) I think something in that lot affected my chest, and I'd like to know what it was. And the Pan was cast Iron - slight bare area which might be leaching rust - is that an issue?

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 38", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 31.4%

Woke with clear chest, following breakfast slight surge in congestion: I had an omelette with 2 eggs, filled with boiled spinach and peas topped with grated cheddar cheese, seasoned with salt and pepper fried in my stainless steel pan using coconut and rapeseed oil. Instant coffee milk and sweeteners (Calogran : mix of Sodium Cyclamate and Sodium Saccharin)

Something in all of that is provocative. (or more than one thing, combining?)
Is chest congestion a marker of inflammation for me? If so, low-carbing may be beneificial - but what is it in some meals that's still triggering my need to cough or clear my chest so often after eating? Is it sweeteners? Even if they contain no calories some types still trigger an insulin spike, so a day or two using only Splenda instead of Calogran might be a useful little test.

Otherwise, what to say? I read that really low-carb = @20g a day - I'd have to cut out milk. No specific need to do that - Ketosis is not necessary to lose weight, it's just faster and possibly therapeutic for some conditions.

7:48pm: re the chest thing: I just ate and seemed ok till I had my instant decaf coffee with milk and sweeteners, and noticed a reaction. I could try varing the composition of my hot drinks - for milk, for 2 different sweeteners, for heat... Not severe, not a big deal except for this: I like my hot drinks and don't wan't to have to give them up.

A worrying trend: I had cigarette cravings today! Not good. I was restless. I had a low carb meal early, felt that hungry/full thing for hours afterwards - but my energy level was good all the way through. I went shopping, walked for hours, no lack of strength - but I was thinking about cigarettes from time to time, feeling needy.

I meditated, did yoga, then I ate my most massively vegetable-rich meal to date: chicken breast stir fry with onion, capsicum, mushrooms, bean-sprouts, pineapple and boiled broccoli with cheese on top. I wondered if I could eat all that - but I really could! I don't feel any post-monster-meal fatigue - but I do slightly miss that I didn't have any bread and even more distantly, chocolates or cigarettes! - it is like any of those has a "rounding out the meal" effect - as though something remained undone till one of those concluded the meal. I think they all give a rapid boost to blood sugar, and low carb does not.

Would bread stop the other cravings? Are they somehow a response to a lower-carb diet? I am pretty sure that, had I actually had any bread, I'd now be feeling very sleepy. I can't prove it - and to do the experiment would be inconvenient as I've to go out in an hour's time to a tango class.

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 38 1/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.9%, Body Fat 31.7%

Interesting figures this morning: I had 3 meals yesterday, needy/hungry so I had pancakes after tango class. How does it measure: 4oz almonds, 2 eggs, oil/butter Splenda lemon juice = 23 grams of carbs Before bed, perhaps 1/3 pint of milk: @27 g in a pint so 9g and earlier in the day, how much carb? Some in my food, some in every hot drink's milk.

I thought the pancakes were permitting me to avoid the bread problem, but I see I had as many carbs as two slices of buttered bread or toast!

Anyway, the overall effect is I may have slightly GAINED fat "low-carbing" yesterday. I wasn't ultra-low as I thought merely side-stepping sugar and flour products would be a sure-fire weight-loser. Not true when nuts enter the picture, along with milk, even full-fat milk.

I should have said, I'm FASTING today. Yesterday I'd been musing on this: "If I'm dropping weight low-carbing, perhaps I don't need to fast, and is it better not to fast? This morning's figures tell me that my "low-carbing" isn't strict enough for weight-loss, though I presume my blood sugar levels will be steadier for my efforts.

4:22pm A cold day and I'm noticing how I'm not getting anything done. I had a couple of goals, I could still follow through, I'm being self-protective, perhaps I can go beyond that. Fasting in the cold (my flat is very draughty and would cost a fortune to keep warm in winter)

[BrightAngel]

4:22pm A cold day and I'm noticing how I'm not getting anything done.
I had a couple of goals, I could still follow through,
I'm being self-protective, perhaps I can go beyond that.
Fasting in the cold
(my flat is very draughty and would cost a fortune to keep warm in winter)

Graham,
Perhaps you could be KINDER to yourself.
At least
Wrap up warmly, have some hot cups of tea..perhaps with splenda,
and say some pleasant things to yourself.

[Graham]

Thanks for the kind thoughts BA, I don't write the whole of my life down here, maybe it came across as rather grim? I do wrap up warm, and have hot drinks - but it was extremely windy here today, and that made my flat rather chilly, and heating bills are very expensive here these days, so one tends to be a little careful.

I do find fasting makes me more sensitive to the cold and my energy level tends to be lower. On the hot drinks subject, I've noticed I'm actually having less in my last couple of fasts, I wasn't interested in having them. There is something odd happening: When I fast I don't feel as needy as I do sometimes when I'm No-S'ing (especially combined with low-carbing)

I'm saying, when I'm not fasting I can have so many mugs of tea and coffee that I lose count - each with added milk and perhaps sweeteners. I'm now getting very focused on the effect of the sweeteners too. Splenda is very different, superior in it's effect to other types I've used, I tested it during a fast - it doesn't cause hunger pangs, whereas my usual brand did.

well, soon to bed, can't wait to see what the scales and tape measure will tell me tomorrow. Thanks again, BrightAngel, for your kind thoughts.

[Graham]

@10st 10lb, 37 7/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 31%

Same iffy scale denies precise measure, but looks much the same as the last time I used it (a week ago). I've woken very early. I feel very alert, inconveniently energised - I added a new stir-fry ingredient last night, ginger - did I overdo it? the day's caffeine intake was modest. I made a very simple discovery - if I make my coffee black, I just use half the quantity of coffee and it tastes fine unsweetened. I am very struck by the insulin-raising effect of some sweeteners blocking fat loss. How annoying is that?

Today is an S day. What is my response this week? Though low-carb pancakes have around 31g of carb in the whole batch, my "normal" pancakes would have 85g of carbs BEFORE I sprinkled on the sugar & lemon juice! (5g per teaspoon of sugar) - I might be adding another 50g! (I never measured how much sugar I put on, or how many pancakes I got from 4 oz flour, 1/2 pint of milk and an egg so I'm guessing)

3:49pm Curiosity bid me weigh myself at home 10st 9 1/2lb but what is the figure I should subtract? It might be 1lb, give or take. I don't know - 2 1/2 mugs of coffee weigh about 30 oz, but then there was a trip to the bathroom, a bike ride, - who knows?

10:33pm Just finished another monster chicken stir-fry - with capsicum, onion, bean-sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, a little garlic, a good measure of grated cheese, again with coconut and rapeseed oil, salt, pepper and latterly a little Worcester sauce. I haven't had any sort of sweet treat at all today, nor a snack, nor seconds. This was almost entirely involuntary.

My "breakfast" came late in the day - 2 egg ham and cream cheese omelette was SO satisfying, and the appeal of biscuits or sweets so limited that I found myself back home with a portion of chicken I didn't want to leave till another day lest it spoil. That led to the stir-fry so filling I could barely force it down, leaving neither space nor desire now for dessert. I do mean to have a sweet treat tomorrow, but it will be something low-carb, not based on sugar or white flour - why set myself back if I don't need to ?

Elsewhere on the bulletin board are refugees from low-carbing. What do I have to learn from that? Honesty and clarity are necessary.

Can I really eat all that cream? Seems so wicked! Or meat, won't God or cancer strike me down? (is fish safer?)

[Graham]

10st 10lb, 37 1/2", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 29.9%

6:32 am. Woken early, the wind rattling the windows for the 3rd night in a row, though my late evening tea at Samaritans may have had more to do with why I couldn't sleep longer. Measurement: the moment of truth: weight is no great encouragement, but my waist is slimmer, and that pleases me more. I think cauliflower is going to be a great help in months to come.

5:05pm. SO was sneezing and ill on Thursday before she left for Brussels. Now I too am sneezing. Damn. And, also - I'm asking myself again "Can I achieve weight-loss by low carbing alone?" - I mean, of course, at my current level of low-carbing, which is far from extreme. Last night I slept too little and I'm now tired, my first real spell of tiredness under my low-carb regime, I'm thinking "A day fasting is like a day lost, I feel so reluctant to undertake anything of significance while I feel the cold, and under-the-weather too."

A significant fact about this weekend: I've not had any sweets, nor any snack beyond one apple, nor any seconds. I've done isometrics after a long lay-off, and rowing too (1.7K in @ 8 minutes only). I feel lazy. I ask again - "Can I make a new experiment, just low-carbing to this degree without fasting and shed inches and pounds?" For, if it were possible, I need the energy and enterprise that might afford me in the coming weeks, a time of uncertainty, requiring boldness.

[BrightAngel]

Elsewhere on the bulletin board are refugees from low-carbing.
What do I have to learn from that? Honesty and clarity are necessary.

Can I really eat all that cream? Seems so wicked!
Or meat, won't God or cancer strike me down? (is fish safer?)

Graham, I enjoy reading your comments.
Re low-carb refugees, Chapter 19 of WWGF, says...

“The conventional logic of diets is that people go on them
expecting relatively quick returns in weight loss.
…the dieters are not trying to reregulate their fat tissue;
they’re only reducing the calories they consumeâ€

If they don’t see weight-loss in a month or so,
they decide that the diet has failed and go on to the next one,
or resign themselves to being fat.

“But the fact is that we are trying to counteract
a regulatory disorder of fat metabolism,
one that may have been years or decades in the making.
Reversing the process might take more than a few months,
or even a few years as well.â€

and

"The biggest challenge is the craving for carbohydrates.
The hunger that accompanies our attempts to eat fewer
calories is an unavoidable physiological phenomenon;
the craving for carbohydrates is more like an addiction.
It is a consequence, at least in part, of insulin resistance
and the chronically elevated levels of insulin that go with it,
and thus caused by the carbohydrates in the first place.â€

.... sugars are a special case,
as sugar appears to be addictive in the brain.

“Whether the addiction is in the brain or the body, or both,
the idea that sugar and other easily digestible carbohydrates are addictive
also implies that the addiction can be overcome
if you make the effort and have sufficient patience.
This is not the case with hunger itself.â€

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.3% FASTING

Sore nose/throat junction and cough - perhaps a day not to fast? Also, then I can carry on with an experiment of a low-carb sort - to persist with that regime.

Re No S strictures - the true test of the low-carb diet hypothesis is to eat as much quantity of all but carbs - that would be more like S days than N days. Do I want to persist with N day discipline beyond low-carb? I won't eat "sweets" in the sugary sense in any case - it's more the snacks and seconds - if low enough in carbs it shouldn't matter as the factor disrupting the relationship between need and consumption should be being restored.

Wait, no, I don't get it - why does low carbing in itself, without caloric restriction, cause fat loss? it must be creating an energy deficit, a less calories in than out, or why else would fat be burned? It's two things at once, surely? 1) remove insulin so fat CAN be burned, but also 2) creating a deficit so that calories consumed have to be supplemented from fat stores.

As luck would have it, my library doesn't have good calories/bad calories or WWGF - but it does have Pollan's "In defence of Food". I see he isn't happy with what Taubes does with the science - accuses him of jumping out of the lipid frying pan into the carbohydrate fire - still enmeshed in "nutritionism". I'm a little unsettled by his questions about Taubes ideas - or an Atkins "eat loads of meat, poultry and fish" sort of idea (if that is in fact what Atkins says - i don't know, havent read any of his books yet)

I am reading "in defence of food" by Pollan - and his critique of taubes over-readiness to jump from lipid hypothesis to carbohydrate hypothesis still within the corrupted universe of "nutritionism" is a little unsettling. Pollan is no fool. He doesn't say Taubes is a fool either, but that his scepticism seems strong over lipids and weak over carbohydrates.

I could accuse myself of a certain lack of scepticism too - I've been fasting twice a week for quite a while and more or less ground to a halt in weight-loss terms. Now I'm adding low-carb to the mix.

One thing about my version of low-carb - with starches gone, I'm eating far more vegetables - though I guess I could have opted to just up the meat fish and poultry - an unappetising thought as it happens, but theoretically possible. All the warnings we had about "red meat associated with cancer" - were they true? Pollan cites a nurses study that showed low-carb only improved life expectancy if the greater proportion of protein and fats came from plant sources, if they came from animal sources, it was slightly worse than a standard diet.

What of Pollan's advice about eating? It has that Popperesque "minimise avoidable suffering" style of minimal interference, modest proposals - but if I think about it, it's a sort of homily - eat food, not too much, mostly plants. the problem is with item 2 - if just saying "eat less" actually worked, people wouldn't struggle so much with their weight would they? It's back to portion control, self-control - and that has been a failure hasn't it? I think Pollan's advice is more for the "worried well" than those who are seriously overweight or obese, who are probably too far gone to be able to follow his advice.

Can I drink black coffee today? With Splenda if needs be? 9:56am feeling hungry - am I hungrier because I put splenda in that black coffee? It did taste a little nicer - it's half-strength coffee and only 1 splenda tablet in a mug - pleasant, unobjectionable, unless it makes my stomach start to gear up for food that will not come. I think my fast will have to be less than 24 hours. I have a late Samaritans shift from 11pm to 1am so I want time to eat and digest before I set out - also, I may be asked to turn up to help training from 9:30.

I think I'll start making my own yoghourt today. I see milk isn't popular in low-carbing because of the lactose, but that is converted to lactic acid as the bacteria ferment the milk, it still has some carbs, I read, but only about half as many as milk.

Damn! Coffee/Caffeine increases Insulin Resistance! I think that means using coffee to get me through a fast is going to b*****r up the whole process #DAMN! What will I have to give up next? Addicted to so many things, renunciation is a pain in the a****

[BrightAngel]

I analyze everything,
so take this from one who knows.

There is no ONE solution for everyone.

It also looks like you are overthinking it,
and you need to Ease up on yourself a bit.
Drink your coffee, have your splenda
and be patient with yourself.

[Graham]

Well - am I overthinking it? There is a lot of complexity to these issues, and I certainly hate the thought of going through the privation of a fast and then being cheated of the benefit by the unwitting use of something such as caffeine or an insulin-raising sweetener. Some days I have a lot of tea or coffee - I don't know how much of a barrier to weight-loss it is, but when I see myself stuck at the same weight week after week as happened in late autumn, I get curious and willing to make new changes if I see promising clues, even if I have to deny myself something. It wasn't self-denial that got me in the mess I'm in today.

About Splenda - I see safety issues being flagged up, and the dearth of long-term tests - and I am a bit uneasy - the idea of getting sick trying to get healthy is particularly galling. I would use stevia if I could get it, seems to have a long enough history to be likely to be safe.

As I wrote once before, if I need to sweeten tea and coffee to enjoy them, do I actually really like them? A macrobiotic chum of mine used to mock me years ago, how I kept needing to use stimulants like tea and coffee to overcome intrinsic exhaustion (and cigarettes too) - I found his words annoying. These days he looks annoyingly well for his age - way slimmer than me too. Of course we can't all copy each other, it doesn't always feel right to do so, but I'm paying the price for my "weaknesses" these days. I think I'll start to investigate how I get hold of Stevia, either that or wean myself off sweet things generally over time.

[connorcream]

If I might be so bold as to offer some thoughts on my thread take what fits, discard the rest, all meant as helpful.

[Graham]

10st 11lb, 38 3/8", BMI 23.7, WHtR 57.3%, Body Fat 32.1%

It it a bit like my body is saying "you can't make me lose weight". It wasn't such a taxing fast, I was relatively inactive owing to my cold - but I did do yoga and isometrics, and my fast -breaking meal was one plate, "low carb" (how many? how do I weigh a plateful of stew?) - i.e. mashed cauliflower instead of the mashed potato and bread that once would have kept my beef stew company.

My body is a magical resource - I feel quite calm - I was hoping I'd be seeing 10st 8 1/2 today, and nearer to 37" - and I see neither. it is particularly striking to see BOTH measures rise - it seems to say, overall, I had more than I needed. I was "good" at samaritans - I had neither tea nor biscuits, (nor any hand-made chocolates though they were on offer too) - yet I still only slept @5hours, and my cold was painfully worse when I woke, chest sore as I coughed, nose/throat and head also painful.

If it's water weight, what made it come? I did keep having the tea and coffee, I'm not yet willing to drop them, I'm having a mug of the real stuff even as I write - with Splenda and real milk. I put in the effort yet it seems it wasn't enough. Perhaps fasting, without my normal level of aerobic activity (walking & cycling to get around, going to the shops etc.) just isn't enough to drop my weight, as my body gets more adept at responding to fasting by economising on output.

Today, despite my cold, I'll make a sortie to the parcel office - 3 low-carb texts await me - some Atkins stuff, Protein Power, and, not yet arrived, "Life without Bread". I already have Rose Elliot's "The Vegetarian Low Carb Diet" which is very encouraging - you can low-carb without meat, fish, poultry - or even eggs and dairy. Some nice recipes, good explanation, friendly upbeat book.

I'm not yet prepared to try aiming for ketosis - but I may dabble with it if I get stuck where I don't want to be. I do intend to revive my use of EFT and to apply it concertedly to any ongoing desire to be fat, Enough words for now.

@ConnorCream - thank you for your detailed description of what you have done to succeed, I note your keeping up with tea and coffee didn't stop your weight loss, it isn't an inevitable barrier. I have had a pattern of heavy caffeine consumption since my early teens, I was already fat then, fat since childhood, never thin, I've never had that experience and my body doesn't seem keen on ever having it, but still, I think it is doable.

Thinking back on my childhood relationship to food, I feel again that sense of shame, of being fat AND yet wanting more food, more lemonade, more chips - and being "lazy" - rubbish at sport (except swimming - being fat didn't matter so much in the water). I felt so wrong, so blameworthy, so unworthy, so helpless - I suppose I got told how not ok I was - my Dad certainly hated having a fat, awkward, bookish son - his opposite in every way - not too bold either - nervous, squeamish. I can see how the carbs had hold of me from an early age, my behaviour driven by swinging blood-sugar, insulin and demanding fat stores. Only cultural factors (( was only permitted one bottle of lemonade a week!) held me in check. I hated being that way, and feel still a measure of self-disgust as I write. I didn't choose this shaming condition, but I sure got to know what everybody thought about it, and that I was seen as being to blame for it. "greedy" - bastards. My appearance and physical ineptitude made me an ideal target for bullies and I went home from school many days in tears, till granny taught me how to mask all feeling and deny them their reward - that robotic skill then torpedoing nearly every relationship in my adult life.( it wasn't that I couldn't show feeling, more than that, i didn't even know what I felt any more, or that I felt anything sometimes)

[Graham]

@ 10st 10lb, 38", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 31.3%

The iffy scale thwarts precision. Modest eating , a little disorderly - but then I'm sick. How many colds have I had in the last 6 months? This one's a bit nasty at the moment. Depleting and painful.

Reading on with Pollan - his questioning of nutritionism is very persuasive - what will be interesting to see, at the end of it all, will be whether he can fashion any sort of approach that would work not only as a preventative for those not yet fat, but would reverse the situation in the overweight and obese - advice that actually worked - if he ends up saying "Eat less" who is going to be helped?

Looking at my own situation - the mechanical thinking that says "I ate less so now I must weigh less" doesn't always work, at least in the short-term, in this body here. Bodies are complex, food is complex, all that is true. And there is still the question of why some people abuse food and others do not. Is there an emotional component? Just because therapists can't cure it, doesn't mean it isn't the case. (Many therapies fall short of what is claimed for them)

Further thoughts: I mostly ate "food" in Pollan's terms - not as much as I do now, but I wasn't hitting the guideline 5-a-day for fruit and vegetables - so other elements must have been present to prevent that: not excessive protein, as it is expensive, probably some "excess" of processed carbs - but not egregious. I still had a heart-attack. Smoking, yes don't forget it (oh I wish I could forget it - I'm still a refraining addict, not a true non-smoker)

Growing up as a fat kid when most other children weren't fat, I have to ask what was different about me? Is it genetic susceptibility? Or is it my history, having sorrow early on, perhaps drawn to the stimulating/pain quelling effects of excessive consumption from an early age? If that could be addressed (I know it is already hypothesised and yet strategies to remedy it have failed) then I could "naturally" stop drugging myself with food, or anything else.

"If" is a big word sometimes.

[connorcream]

but then I'm sick. How many colds have I had in the last 6 months? This one's a bit nasty at the moment. Depleting and painful.

This would be a symptom, I suggest you track. Many people report, including myself and various family members, that when their eating of grains is reduced or in some cases eliminated (this amount varies for each person), their colds/flus/tissue inflamation of tissues (nasal, intestinal, facial, etc...) decreases considerably.

Only way you will know for sure is to track it over a long period of time. 2 days or weeks will not cut it. I am taking about 6-9 months. Too much extraneous factors that need to be sorted out.

[Graham]

10st 9 1/2lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.8%

Sore throat, sore nose, a feverish nigh't sleep - chest improving. Encouraging words CC, lets see over time.

[Graham]

10st 8 3/4lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.3, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 31%

Slept better, woke with sore throat (less severe than yesterday). The vitamin C and hot water bottles did good work for me. Airing the bedroom, more vitamin c and now coffee. I don't think I'll fast today. If I eat like yesterday I'll shed weight anyway. I had less carbs and less calories overall, a spontaneous reduction.

Can't eat like yesterday, I made low-carb bread - ate about 1/3 of it = will 4g of carbs change the story?.
10:04pm eating strangely today - i just ate 800g of fried tofu..(no, that can't be right, no way I could have managed so much - but that is what it said on the packet) . It wasn't the best sort, light on protein, with slightly higher carb than protein content if the label tells the truth - about 40g of carbs in it - also a fair bit of yoghourt - both the shop stuff and then some of my home-made batch - it's disappointing - watery and thin though the flavour is similar. I'll hope it goes a bit better next time. (I recall i used to cheat in the old days, adding dried milk powder to make the final product somewhat thicker and more proteinacious. I don't think I had any fruit or vegetables all day. Strange, I think I just didn't fancy it. (jam in yoghourt doesn't count) Wait - I had small glass of orange juice - it's my favourite vehicle for brewer's yeast - with added vitamin c, lysine and proline.

Getting sleepy - will I need hot water bottles again tonight? I've found them useful, but do i need them now? And more vitamin C? What's the scale gong to say tomorrow?

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 7/16", BMI 23.4, WHtR 55.9%, Body Fat 30%

7:23am I do look slimmer today. The ugly pouches of fat at my middle are definitely receding, though the bulging abdomen remains, and I'm still the wrong side of 37". I didn't fast yesterday, a strange week spent fighting a cold - now a weekend. I am seriously questioning the value of fasting on top of low-carbing at the moment. What if I hadn't fasted on Monday? What would I have weighed on Tuesday, and might I have coped better with my cold?

I have been fairly mild on the low-carbing, I've got 4 different approaches to examine: vegetarian low-carb (Rose Elliot), Atkins, Protein Power (Eades), Life without bread (Lutz, Allan). They all have things to say, facts to consider and 3 out of the 4 approaches were brought forward by clinicians who'd used them therapeutically. Not to be dismissed so lightly. I wish I could have found my old "This slimming business" by Yudkin - I might have saved a few pounds on books.

Anyway, dieting is a side-show - if I've got a handle on it I'll now turn my attention back to the deeper issues of life I was researching before this health issue commanded centre stage - if I can find the lost Michael Bentine book I'll be pleased, I think I must reconnect with the concerns it highlights, along with EFT, yoga and other such matters - oh yes, and then there's MONEY/WORK, family relationships to attempt repairs on - so much.

September 25/26 of last year saw me at my lightest 10st 7 3/4lb and then slimmest 37 1/8". Since then it was a stagnation, regain, cold weather, bouts of ill health, stress, festive food excesses - I think it's been taking too long, and that to simply repeat No S/Fasting twice a week would be a dead-end. My choice now is between adding low-carb to that mix, or low-carbing and see what else can fit with it. If it works on it's own, why complicate it or stress myself? Add-ons make more sense when stalling is a threat. Must remember exercise - that's been part of effective weight-loss for me in the past too. Just now it's fasting I'm feeling sceptical about - and the No S failures are a continuing petty irritant, daunting my self-esteem. Do I need to nail myself to those rules if I'm low-carbing successfully? I do think time with an empty stomach is probably a good idea - and teeth appreciate infrequent eating too, I've read.

[Graham]

10st 10 1/4lb, 37 11/16", BMI 23.6, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.4%

As my appetite returns, I am confronted by the "problem" of what to eat. I know I ate, knowingly, wondering about consequences, several handfuls of cashew nuts alternated with handfuls of raisins - they are 70% sugar. I did wonder just how much effect such a carb-rich snack would have, not just on overall totals but my metabolism, my desire to have yet more. Problems have been with me since I made Rose Elliot's quick microwave bread. Though it is fairly high in protein, and only has as many carbs in the whole loaf as one slice of ordinary bread, it still seems to have provoked a desire for more of the same type of food - instant food, stuff it in your mouth without thinking food, a sort of carb hit, though not that carby - not a smart option for me. Also I think baking powder doesn't agree with me, I can sort of taste it all the time.

A quick rough estimate of that snack: 2 oz of cashews = 20g carbs, @ 1oz of raisins = 20g carbs - so there's 40g of carbs consumed in just a few "enjoyable" minutes.

What else did I eat yesterday? bacon, apple (8g) and egg for breakfast. (with some buttered pseudo-toast) Later my evil snack, yoghourt also snacked on during the day: some carbs, only about half as many as milk, I read, the bacteria eat some of it, but what's left is more digestible than before. What else? A very nice salad - lettuce, capsicum, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and 8 frankfurters. Sounds a lot? When the bread's not there, the space is there, the appetite is there - gives just 3g more carbs - less than the carbs of 1/4 of a slice of ordinary bread.

How did I forget my other little snack - 3 kippers with peas. @5g carbs. I'm either forgetting something, or, even with say 30g carbs added for milk and yoghourt, I've eaten less than 100g of carbs in that day - yet I gained. Oh - wait - didn't I have some "cheese on toast" (again on pseudo-bread) too? Any carbs in that? Each slice of pseudo-toast is @ 1g of carb, and cheese is virtually carb-free.

Anyway, here's the thing - how I feel, now, is that I'm not confident that I know a range of things that would seem appetising and wholesome to eat, day by day, for the long term. I'm not that drawn to meat-eating as a concept, though I like the taste. If I was with the Eskimos, no temptation in sight, maybe I'd be fine, but here it's not OK. So I want more things that do fit with my life. Why all this fuss occurs the moment i start low-carbing - I was never that fond of bread anyway - is this the infamous "diet head"? I'm getting fed up of fried food. I can grill stuff - but even then. I'm feeling trapped today, all because my weight and waist have climbed for 2 days when I'd been hoping to go on losing because I wasn't eating bread, potatoes, rice, sugar. I did not fast on Friday, I'm going off that whole thing anyway - I tend to feel tired, to do less - and low energy is NOT what I want. An actual working low-carb plan will need more thought than I've given it, I hoped I could just fudge it - seems I was wrong.

It could be that weight-loss requires quite a small carb intake - perhaps of the order of less than 100g? How was I eating when i did "this slimming business"? I don't remember it being difficult - but I was much younger, and I was smoking. Also, my cold has kept me less active - has that been an issue? I did go shopping yesterday, I was on my feet, ambling along for the best part of 2 hours. I didn't have the energy/desire for even yoga or isometrics, never mind my rower.

There's another issue - where's this "energy" you get when low carbing? I have a cold, recovering but not all better yet, complicating my thinking. So perhaps I DO have to go on fasting? Damn! Damn! I don't like it any more. All that stuff I read about how great it is for you and prolongs your life etc. - these months of colds and cold weather and stagnation and regained weight have left me feeling disillusioned. All the fine things written probably apply to much younger/fitter people. I never had a vigorous metabolism anyway, but now I'm 60 it's just not a "fat burning furnace" (is that an ebook I should be buying...)

[Kevin]

A nutritionist once told me that the easiest way to lose weight was to eliminate bakery products, eat small quantities of fruit and grains in as natural a form as practicable, lots of legumes and vegetables, lean meat, and fat from plant oils. Do this three or four times a day.

She listed the elimination of bakery products first.

This was before the whole Atkins thing came out. I think she was on to something, and I feel best when I eat this way.

Winter and a good viral infection can really get you down. Chin up: Spring is coming.

Oh, and I don't know what the condition of your health and joints are, but 25 of these spread out over 10 sets during the day will definitely turn up your metabolism. And help you walk and climb stairs with vigor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPSVpo4mzNI

[Graham]

10st 11 1/4lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.7, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 31.7%

I cannot swear to this, as I'm not a practised carb counter, but I believe I consumed something of the order of 85grams of carbs yesterday. I ate as much as my appetite prompted me to, but with carbs restricted - all the main starchy foods having been eliminated from my diet for over a week now. But look - over the last 2 days I've gained. I gained 1lb yesterday, and the gut bloat is increased again. I am very disappointed.

My carb restriction isn't savage, but my intake is, by the standards of some people, modest. (ConnorCream reported being able to lose weight if she keeps carbs below 100grams a day, for example). I feel I was entitled to expect better results than this. I was housebound yesterday, energy and enthusiasm for external activities was lacking - I feel rather better today - I haven't coughed at all since i got up, and apart from a subtly aching head, I could judge myself fully recovered from my cold.

Today's experiment is this: I will stick to the low-carb experiment, much as I currently do it, so I AM NOT FASTING TODAY. I want to see what my weight looks like tomorrow. Musing on this: the pattern of weight-gain/weight loss seems to have developed a rhythm - even if i don't fast, has my body "learned" to shed weight on certain days and increase it on others? Or not - my body has strange abilities when it comes to responding to my efforts.

@Kevin - greetings, thanks for stopping by. Yes, the low-carb idea pre-dates Atkins by over a century, Banting was the first to successfully use and then popularise a low-carb diet. In history we find such as the Taoist philosophers of ancient China calling grains "the Thieves of Life" and Egyptian mummies exhibit signs of the obesity and tooth decay we get today, after the introduction of grains as a staple food. I used a low-carb diet successfully as a teenager - lost that book or I'd've re-read it and tried it again, though now I'm much older and don't smoke, I might not find it so easy. I must gather data without too much haste or precipitate passion, then adjust my approach accordingly. As the body ages, it changes. So it goes.

[connorcream]

Dear friend-
To lose weight one still needs a calorie deficit, IMHO. The question is, "Given our own unique bodies and metabolism, what are those boundaries? What levels of calories & carbs can I eat and lose/maintain my weight?" This answer will not come after 2 weeks of trying, I am very sad to say. It takes many months to see this trend. Of course, if one is gaining, the only answer is to eat less. And depending on the damage to the body, the answer may not be what we like. Only time will tell. My body has been very resilient, my son's I do not know yet.

Then the ultimate question becomes, eat less of what? The what varies. This is were carbs come into the picture. I have read many posts from low carbers, thinking they can just eat low carb, and are then disappointed to find they gain. It isn't calories or carbs but calories & carbs. I tend to disagree with Taubes in a small way on this point. To his credit, he does not dispute this idea either when listening to his interviews, it is just a bit lost in his books.

I can lose on 100 carbs now but that is not what my levels were a year ago. I was much closer to 60 carbs on average and sometimes lower with my calorie counts around 1,000. My carbs came from veggies (low starch types and very little sugar or alcohol). I am actively maintaining and very often wanting to gain a bit as I have continued to lose, only very slowly. My carb/cal counts are higher now as a result. My posts reflect the position of a maintainer on the very low end of my BMI range.

I hope this helps. The isle of denial is not a port of call I will ever sail back into. Nothing good comes from ignorance.

[Kevin]

Question: wasn't the prevalent thought at one point in time that fasting would spur a famine response from your body, such that much of what you ate would be converted to fat against further famine? Or maybe I'm not reading carefully enough, and your not fasting.

Or, maybe this is not the current thinking on fasting.

[Kevin]

While this sounds dire, if you are eating a diet of vegetables and protein, you are less hungry than you would be on the same number of calories of white bread, no?

Dear friend-
...
the only answer is to eat less.
...

[connorcream]

Question: wasn't the prevalent thought at one point in time that fasting would spur a famine response from your body,

and your not fasting.

Or, maybe this is not the current thinking on fasting.

I do not believe in the Starvation Myth or famine response. BA has the best link I have seen on this topic and it is worth a read. I think it is one of the most used pieces of adivce on the internet which hampers many peoples efforts in losing. It almost derailed mine.

I am not fasting as such. There are some days were I need much less than others and am fine with it. On most Mondays, I ride horses, in addition to the 1 mile I do in the AM plus weight training. I happily, without hunger, eat 2 string cheese sticks and some roasted green beans for lunch on the way to the stables. I am content doing this. Not a fast, but at 170 calories, it is close for me. I also can easily go 15 hours on the weekend between Saturday night dinner and Sunday morning breakfast. Some Saturdays, I eat only 2 meals plus a snack, sometimes.

I do not know what the current thinking is, I just know what I have come to understand.

[connorcream]

you are less hungry than you would be on the same number of calories of white bread, no?

This is true. Where the calories come from really matters, from many different perspectives. I am not interested in being hungry and coming up with clever cliches to mask it over. Fat also is important to include. Which for me does not mean as much as it would to others.

Of course, ditching the grains, ditches a lot of calories. No bread= no butter, jam, honey, gravy, evoo, etc...

[BrightAngel]

Graham, Just letting you know,
I left a message for both you and Kevin
on his Personal Thread...
Because I saw you're there too right now,
and it was easier for me to do.

Then I thought better of it, and am posting here
to tell you, because I want to make sure you see it.
I suppose I should just have copied it, but...oh well...

[Graham]

Tuesday: 10st 8lb, 37 9/16", BMI 23.2, WHtR 56.1%, Body Fat 30.6%
Wednesday 10st 7 1/4lb, 37 3/8", BMI 23.1, WHtR 55.8%, Body Fat 30.3%
Thursday 10st 8lb, 37 1/2", BMI 23.2, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 30.5% _ Rowing 9min, 1.7K

In the end I did "fast" on Monday. I had noticed my appetite was much less than some days, as though I was somewhat habituated to fasting. Though I did have my usual chain of tea or coffee with milk till about 5pm, after that I didn't eat till the following morning, and my monday breakfast had been modest - 1 kipper! I saw a dramatic result - my lowest weight since I started No S, not quite my slimmest yet, but lightest. A cold distorts things, but still it was something of note.

Since then - I have not been posting here because some issues to do with my check-in needed to be sorted out, and I've been addictively playing an online computer game. I was feeling under the weather and now I'm wondering, did I spend that time playing because I was too poorly to do anything else, or was it making me ill doing it, or drinking too many cups of instant coffee and tea was messing me up? Anyway, I feel better-ish again today except my chest, my chest is still clogged with mucus and irritated by my cough. skipping vitamin C yesterday was my mistake, and I might be feeling better now if I'd bothered to do that - yet I get so fed up of taking supplements some times, I just can't be bothered.

Fasting, and low-carbing, and No S? Too much to handle? I had a No S exception yesterday. I'm feeling like low-carbing should be restriction enough, adding in the no s one-plate thing is just an irritant when I'm trying to figure out how I can make low-carb doable. I tried using low-carb "bread" (egg and almond recipe from Rose Elliot) but it seemed to be provocative and even fattening. I may have a problem with caffeine (not just addicted, but maybe addicted to the blood sugar/insulin spike it provokes and the desire to do that over and over).

I'm tempted to sort of drop the No S for now so I can snack on yoghourt when I feel like it. I'm looking for a feeling of not being obsessed with what I'm going to eat next whilst actually losing weight. No S'ing did bring calm, but not weight loss, adding fasting brought weight loss (for a while, at least) but with fatigue, days that felt like a write-off (not what IF proponents lead you to expect at all!) and as the colder weather came stagnation, then weight rise, and a spate of colds.

How many colds have I had over the autumn/winter? 4? That's a hell of a lot for me! An unprecedentedly bad year for colds and some concern about possibly permanent irritation of my lungs. That's a good reason for low-carbing, fasting, anything that keeps the insulin down - might I be wise to start examining my caffeine habits now? Inflammation is a key health issue, and caffeine has been something I haven't really got to grips with yet.

Anyway - perhaps if I read through my 4 low-carb books, I'll find one that has an approach that suits me? So much reading! And I haven't quite finished Pollan's "In defence of food" yet. A little disappointing in the "what to eat" section - he suddenly starts ignoring the research he cited earlier in his book - he implies meat is optional but vegetables are obligatory - he "forgets" to mention that you can live on a meat and water diet for a year without developing any deficiencies whatsoever, and that the healthiest people Weston Price saw were subsisting on "Milk, blood and meat from cattle and animals from the Nile river". After the criticism he levelled at Taubes I expected rather more rigour from him - and he lets himself down here, he is not only no better than Taubes, he's actually inferior in his handling of the facts. Pity, it's mostly a good book with plenty of sound stuff about the food chain.

[Graham]

10st 9 1/4lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.5%

What did I eat yesterday to add 1 1/4lb? Breakfast: 2 sausages, onion, mushroom and cheese omelette, milk in beverages, yoghourt, evening meal lettuce, carrot, 1oz raisins, chunks of Gorgonzola, walnut, with balsamic vinaigrette around 8pm. I'll maybe do a little carb counting? fasting today. I find it hard to quit, and figures such as today's underscore the need for it, but I am disappointed that my elimination of starch and sugar alone wasn't enough to shed excess fat.

8g, 4g, 3g, 1g, 1g = 17g, 2g for 1g, 7g, 22g! 2g, 2g =36g (raisins !) plus yoghourt and milk - @ 20g additional carbs, say 73g carbs for the day. And I did a tango class travelling there and back by bicycle. (and isometrics and yoga)

A difficult fast - I felt very tired and cold earlier in the day, and struggled to make myself productive. I haven't done most of the things I thought I'd do today, including most what I track on HabitCal. Now I feel better, but I am VERY hungry just now. I may have to have 2 meals this evening, a salad after I meditate, and then cooked veg with the chicken now roasting in the oven.

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.5%

That was a tough fast, leading on to a No S failure which wasn't even fun, though the food was good, I was just too hungry to exercise restraint. A lettuce and capsicum salad with balsamic vinaigrette and salami ad-lib while I waited for the free-range chicken to finish roasting. Had the chicken with turnip chips, mushrooms and pineapple - so I got my five a day, but there's another thing, trying to hit 5 a day in one meal is a pressure conflicting with no-s one plate restraint. anyway, limit busted already, I then went on to some cheese - gorgonzola, shropshire blue, and yoghourt with fruit jam. My home-made batch went bad. never had that happen before.

Worst dietary sin of all - I dug out an old packet of stuffing for the chicken. As I soaked it I read the label - I knew it was carb-rich but it didn't stop me! I don't know how many carbs I had but it was more than I had to have, again I think my judgement was affected by being so hungry. It was 23 1/2 hours without calories or, apart from caffeine, any insulin provocation. I was cold and hungry and lacking energy and initiative, a very negative state, I know there is a positive way to look at fasting, but I wasn't in that frame of mind yesterday.

I think I should mention my headache too. I have been getting mild headaches whilst fasting. It is ignorable, but intrusive - it seems to suggest that all is not well with me. I still have vestiges of my cold, so that might be the issue, but I must not forget to mention it. There is this to consider: Lutz,, the author of "Life without bread" cautions against any harsh change to diet as potentially thrombogenic, especially in an already damaged system.

[Graham]

10st 9 1/2lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 32.1%

@130g carbs may explain how fat I got in one day - bit of a shocker though... I avoided chocolates and biscuits, had low-carb pancakes - I did have fruit: 1/2 grapefruit, 1 apple, pineapple and juice with my chicken and my usual pint of whole milk (approximately - I get 7 pints delivered and it all goes, either in tea/coffee or as yoghourt). Slight increase in weight, it's the waist is more abruptly changed. Could be temporary I suppose, I hope it is just the effect of a late-ish meal, which had a pleasingly soporific effect - even without bread or potatoes, it left me feeling pleasantly stuffed and drowsy.

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.5%

FASTING A productive day aimed for, and the fast not over-long, not to gross weariness. Weight and waist bouncing up and down, i need to get back to keeping a graph to see trends.

[Graham]

10st 8lb, 38", BMI 23.2, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 31.9%

An easy fast, near enough 24 hours, resulting in 1lb lost and 3/8" gained. Low carbing at the same time creates a possibly misleading element: If I'm carrying less glycogen my weight should be lower by some pounds purely in water weight, doesn't tell me how my body fat % is going compared to pre-low-carb period. Well, can't fix that.

What else can't I fix? Possibly a laptop dipped in yoghourt? I'll know that later in the day.

Otherwise, physically I feel pretty good - stronger, brighter - with occasional dips into some old sorrows. I'm wondering, if I've reduced comfort foods, will I be experiencing more uncomfortable feelings?

2:51pm Exercise started well, energy downturn as day progressed, hungry, had almond pancakes for lunch - now not hungry, but not at all energised.

[Graham]

10st 6 3/4lb, 37 1/4", BMI 23, WHtR 55.6%, Body Fat 30.1%

Lightest yet. Yesterday was, in HabitCal terms, PERFECT. I've only had about 10 days like that in the whole time I've done No S. (with more than 2 categories to monitor)

It wasn't a good day all round though. Despite a good breakfast I felt hungry enough to have lunch - almond pancakes, not too many carbs but @ 900 calories, with a distinct energy dip all afternoon. I had a solid evening meal too - mackerel, mashed carrot and swede (rutabaga in US, I believe), Brussels sprouts - a one-plate meal, it was enough.

There may have been some loss of water weight to flatter my results, but still, this is a figure I was beginning to think I might never see (never mind <10stone and <34" waist). My goals aren't far off in one sense, yet, in practical terms, it requires greater and greater discipline, effort and attention to hold my current gains and build towards those target figures. I am sure it can be done, there are forum members like BrightAngel and Connorcream who have got there, so I still have hope.

I don't realistically think I can get there with less effort than they put in though, it will be a matter of getting used to the idea of how much work is involved, and being willing to do it.

One floating fantasy I still have is this: that I find a lifestyle (work/exercise combination) that lets me once again "eat as I please" without being fat. If the Pima Indians of Mexico can do it, why can't I? (do they have a good, healthy life, I wonder)

1:16pm More realistic is this: that I'll eat much as I do now, but my weight will be less so I won't need so much food. Whether that will feel comfortable or not is hard to tell. My metabolism may adjust if I keep on restricting my intake. There is a strategy I hear of from time to time, where people have "cheat" days - a bit like S days I suppose - it is to prevent habituation/metabolic downturn/habituation.

[Graham]

10st 7 3/4lb, 37 1/8", BMI 23.2, WHtR 55.4%, Body Fat 29.5% _ 2K rowed in 11 min _ 1 hour bike ride

Some weight regained, but equal to my previous slimmest, lowest body fat% since I started No S. I am onlly 1/8" less than yesterday, but I can really see it. I hope this isn't a false dawn, I've fooled myself before. Does seem like low-carbing has been crucial in moving me beyond the plateau I was stuck on before Christmas. How to have energy AND lose weight? Low Carb seems to be the answer for me (so far)

Of course, it is actually low carb combined with IF in my case - I don't know if low carb alone can cause weight loss as fast as i want it. I'm not enjoying fasting as much as I used to, the novelty has worn off. That said, I miss if if I don't do it, I sort of yearn for it - just, the side-effects I'm complaining about - tiredness in my eyes, feeling cold, lack of enterprise and initiative.

7:12pm A fine day - spring? Got physically busy: Pomodoro helped. Also out on my bike on the canal towpath, haven't done that since sometime in the autumn, over an hour well spent. But my anxieties prey on me, I need to do more.

I cooked excellent food for myself today. Breakfast of bacon, mushrooms, apple, egg, cheese, then dinner of stewed minced beef with onions, carrots, bean-sprouts and peas. Solid enough but not stupefying - I have a bike ride and 2 hours of tango classes ahead of me.

[Graham]

10st 7 3/4lb, 37 1/8", BMI 23.2, WHtR 55.4%, Body Fat 29.5%

A rare occurrence, the same weight and waist two days running. FASTING . My pc is ominously showing blue screens from time to time - I hope it's not a hardware fault again. On the happy side, the youghourt dip seems to have done no permanent harm to my laptop.

I suppose I must fast, without fasting I can't seem to get weight-loss - unless I get more severe about carb restriction or more diligent with exercise. I am not happy with fasting today, I had to delay having caffeine (off to have a fasting blood test, then I went shopping). Now I've had a tea, perhaps my mood will start to lift.

6pm An undistinguished day, with weak coffees consumed just to keep a headache at bay (caffeine deficiency, I assume). Little of constructive merit done, I've got food already cooked which will furnish a splendid meal, and provisions for quality low-carb sustenance for the weekend. Only I've skipped nearly every HabitCal category today, just didn't want to do any of it. One thing I did get done - I brought my weight/waist graphs up to date - time-consuming drudgery, reflecting graphically the long period of plateau and reversal before the turning of the tide, which is a trend I hope I can have confidence in.

I believe low-carbing is crucial to my current progress, as is learning to make satisfying low-carb meals so I can stay on track - without eating too much meat, choosing which fats I will increase to my greatest benefit.

8:15pm Meal had about 40g carbs, add something for my beverages now, milk, if I get through even a whole pint, 26g, 66g for the day. It was very filling and probably had lots of calories in it. I was very hungry when I cooked, and felt very odd when i ate, I was at the point of thinking I needed to go and lie down! The big meal after the fast is unsettling - it would be better to eat light, but I cook a monster meal to get my 5 a day without breaking no S rules

No S FAILURE. After that big meal, still restless, needy - had cream with jam, then yoghourt with jam, it settled that sense of imbalance but that whole fast and fast-breaking meal sequence needs examination, something is wrong there, look at Saturday's weight and waist - something is wrong with this picture!

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 3/8", BMI 23.4, WHtR 55.8%, Body Fat 29.8%

OK, where do I go to complain? No, seriously - I am 1/4" slimmer than last Saturday, but I weigh exactly the same, it's like a week of stupidity. What is the point in working so damn hard at weight-loss for sod-all results? Something is wrong with my strategy. I am angry, frustrated, I'm putting in effort, and I am not getting the reward. That means I'm putting in the wrong kind of effort, does it not?

At times like this I just HATE my body, and hate myself. My anger does no good, the hurt just needs some expression - this horrid little treadmill that I'm on, I am SO WEARY of it. The only time in my life that I wasn't overweight was when I was a regular smoker. F**k. I wonder what my birth mother was eating while she carried me? What set me on this disastrous metabolic course that only tobacco could fix?

And now? Can I have a steady mind and body? Can I, even this late in the day, be well and happy?

11:40am. A big breakfast - bacon, mushrooms, apple, egg. Then almond pancakes. Now my stomach is full, yet I feel dissatisfied. The almond pancakes are disappointing, dry and slightly brittle - can't do crepes. I will turn my thoughts to other things now, not food, and hope that in a while my feelings will grow calmer. This isn't looking like a promising day - weight gain AND dissatisfaction with food - are my supplements interfering with my appetite? I will give that some thought.

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 1/2", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 30.2%

So, no heavier, but fatter than yesterday. Yesterday was a struggle - staying low-carb felt very uncomfortable yesterday, for the first time, a real sense of rebellion, disappointment, feeling cheated. I went for a bike ride but was frustrated when one of my pedals started to come off and I had to abort my trip. Pity - I was in the mood, the outdoors beckoned.

Tomorrow I can fast, and I'm getting a pretty clear sense of not wanting to, of feeling very weary with the whole business. I may feel different tomorrow, but re-visiting that low energy state, wasting another day - I may need a break from it - but, then, where's the weight-loss going to come from?

Is that a question for me to answer today, or wait till tonight/tomorrow? All taubes says about insulin makes sense to me, just a question of how do I put that into practice in my life. i've cut out the obvious carbs: bread, potatoes, rice, all dried beans and lentils (missing those sometimes) - I'm eating more vegetables, plenty of protein, fat too - but I'm now feeling dissatisfied, struggling, resentful, and the thought of another fast revolts me just at the minute.

8:58pm Lost my last edit. Yesterday had beer, today had bread and now 8 chocolates. Tomorrow? Do I fast or apply myself to neglected tasks I might not tackle if fasting subverts my sense of energy and purpose?

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 1/2", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 30.2%

I woke with slight soreness inside my nose/throat. If this is the start of another cold, that would be one a month, for several months. I am thinking I might be "run down" - over-strained. The most obvious additional stress in my life, the one I can do something about, is my fasting. Despite all the upbeat words written about it, again they are authored by younger people than me, with the metabolic deck stacked in their favour. I must look at how I function, and exercise caution when I read propaganda.

So I decided I wouldn't fast today. I have a lot to do, and feeling tired and stressed is not the platform for the kind of day I want to have. I do have a problem however: what to have for breakfast? I have been relying over-much on preserved meats - bacon, sausage, salami - and the nitrate content is a health-hazard. What to have instead? I was disappointed to discover writers like Rose Elliot consider beans and lentils "too carby" for a low-carb diet, as I'd like to be eating them, I can't see myself eating this much animal produce for year after year, it is somewhat repellent.

So, what do I do? I'm near my limit for egg consumption, there's cheese, of course - but with what? Cheese and spinach, or other green veg? I was, nitrate issue aside, quite happy eating bacon with lots of veg/fruit for breakfast - if I could find a non-nitrate bacon, or say, air-cured or smoked pork without the chemicals, that would be ok - (probably cost a fortune though) My only clue is noticing that I have some sort of yen for cabbage - is that a breakfast item with promise?

9:45am Feeling a bit off colour - and trying to do what's right for me. Breakfast was 1/2 avocado with vinaigrette, followed by green beans stewed with tinned tomatoes, garlic, chunks of salami and dried herbs, sprinkled with grated cheddar. Unable to track down a pot of zinc and vitamin c lozenges I had somewhere, I've taken my multivitamin, all other supplements including several grams of vitamin c, hoping to forestall the full flowering of burgeoning malaise.

Creating something I could bear to eat involved tasting and adjusting. I didn't know how much I wanted to eat, and I felt, as often, "what is the validity of having to decide before eating, how much I want to eat?" I didn't exceed one plate, but I had some, decided I wanted more, had more. I reject the idea that "this is how our ancestors ate" - no sweets and no snacks - what era are we talking of? And are we thinking peasant or factory worker? Hunter gatherer? Anyway, leave those two rules aside - but "no seconds"? I just don't believe it.

Unless you were in a hurry, or food was scarce, or plates were big, why would you have no seconds? It's just an individual adjustment. I don't know how my ancestors ate - it depends on whether they're rich or poor, town or country folk - how do we know they one-plated? Some cultures did, some did not. It's appetite versus plate size in the end, nothing else, not fetishized or governed by social censure until preoccupation with excess weight begins to be an issue, and that, in historical terms, seems to have arrived very late in the day.

[Graham]

10st 10lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.6%

It isn't the weight but my WAIST that I wish I could change. Again "forced" not to fast by the clear signs of the start of yet another cold (only 2 weeks after I recovered from the last one), dosing myself with vitamin C all day long, and I still have the same sore throat/nose today, and will be continuing with my regime.

I don't want another heart-attack. Abdominal obesity is strongly correlated with arterial narrowing, a really serious issue ignored only by fools. I seem to be trapped - I'm low carbing but apparently my efforts aren't strict enough to cause weight loss, and to be even more low-carb would, I suspect, result in a diet too disappointing to stick to. I am pretty sick of this frustrating impasse.

[Graham]

10st 11 1/4lb, 38 1/8", BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.9, Body Fat 31.3%

[Graham]

10st 10 1/4lb, 37 1/2", BMI 23.6, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 29.9%

[Graham]

10st 9 1/2lb, 37 15/16", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.6%, Body Fat 31.3%

[Graham]

10st 8 1/2lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.3, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.7%

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 7/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 31%

Here I'm stuck. I have been "low carbing" ineffectively, it seems. And No S compliance has gone out the window. Bored with it anyway, but combining it with low-carb and IF has been confusing and ineffective. Additionally, I have been ill far too frequently over the last few months, and I suspect I'm run down.

Though I've tried to eat well, overall habits (coffee and tea with meals for example, rather than between meals) seem to have put me in a poor nutritional state - my iron and haemoglobin levels are towards the low end of the scale - a little odd for a male omnivore? and my lymphocytes are slightly below the normal range - I am not altogether healthy.

How can I now get the waist fat off? Can I tolerate continued twice-weekly fasting for months to come? I suspect not. Yet I seem now to have adopted an eating regime which means, without fasting, I actually gain weight. I am now stuck in a bad place.

This morning's chest congestion seems to say "not more fasting, please not more fasting" - yet my waist and weight tell me I'm a job less than half done, I've suffered to get this far, and I've invested too much effort to give up. I have so many bad habits which seem to interlock and keep me trapped at this level of waist fat, stuck in the danger zone.

I am emotionally tied to some unhealthy ways - far too many teas and coffees, especially at meal-time, seems so much a part of the meal yet severely curtailing iron absorption - and my poor sleep - again, caffeine is an obvious factor to address - but it is another of my "little pleasures" - must that go the way of smoking? What is left? Why am I so dependent on these pathetic little props? All my life I've been this way - these minor yet telling addictions - sugar and caffeine, then came tobacco - and a personality and poor interpersonal style the habits helped to make sustainable - now it is all falling apart. Damn.

A further note on my caffeine/tea/coffee habit: I have MUGS of both, not cups. Ironically, the heavy consumption may have been increased by the desire for a feeling of fullness whilst dieting or fasting,. I think I was a tea enthusiast from early on - always with sugar in those days, so it's not really clear what I was most fond of - caffeine or sucrose. Now requires an answer. Now I must examine my ways.

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.7%

Good and bad news? Bad might be that I had bread and then 8 chocolates yesterday. Good might be that I'm not grossly heavier than Sunday, I'm slightly slimmer, it is a bright sunny day and I'm feeling ok about fasting. i suspect if I hadn't had those extra carbs I'd be feeling crappy, unwilling and abused right now, as it is I'm ok about FASTING TODAY.

Also good perhaps, is this: that I can now make tea and coffee black unsweetened sufficiently palatable. The coffee is half as strong, the tea brewed for only 30 seconds if it's black tea. I am also investigating other beverages: Rooibos for drinking with meals, green tea for drinking between meals - possibly more beneficial than black tea. Also I read both types of tea are more beneficial drunk without dairy milk, unless it's accompanying a meal, when tea is less harmful if drunk with milk.

I feel a bit more adult to be able to manage a far less sugary intake. I'm still far from a happy low-carb diet that is sufficiently low in carbs to cause me to lose weight. I need either to find some good recipes, or I might have to relax even the low-carb efforts that I'm making now. If the inconvenience isn't producing a pay-off, why continue with it? Oh wait - there is an upside - MY CHEST IS MUCH IMPROVED, I do think low-carbing has had a positive effect on the quantity of chest mucus.

Coming to terms with my life, habits and consequences, strangely disturbing emotions, I'm not skilful enough at dealing with this world and the people in it, especially with the ugly side of things, the bones beneath the skin.

[Graham]

10st 8 1/2lbs, 37 1/2", BMI 23.3, WHtR 56%, Body Fat 30.3%

And a sore nose/throat - I'm walking a tightrope. I failed No S - couldn't get enough satisfaction from my low-carb meal - I have a theory about that, which I wlll need to test.

I visited SO, she gave me veg soup and I accepted the hospitality, though it wasn't my plan. Then went home to eat turkey breast with whatever - onion, mushroom and pineapple as it happens. 285g of turkey seemed a lot in the pan, so I ended up having seconds when 1/3 and 2/3 of it turned out not to hit the satisfaction button.

Still vaguely dissatisfed I then had yoghourt, cream cheese and cream, flavoured with a little strawberry jam. Nice, but definitely not a one-plate meal. Did the earlier veg soup, a little carby, stimulate the later "excess"? Or is it that a one plate meal without bread just doesn't trip the "that's enough" switch for me?

[Graham]

Wednesday: 10st 9 1/4llb, 37 9/16" BMI 23.4, WHtR 56.1%, Body Fat 30.3%
Thursday 10st 10lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.6%

What happened to yesterday's posting? Anyway. Diet disaster-ish just now. I'm all over the place with eating and other life aspects. I've been sloppy with low carb, can't fit it with No S and IF - confusion, self-deception, emotional eating, plus bike issues yet again impeding exercise, I did do yoga and isometrics yesterday so all is not lost - but crappy times.

11:13am, Just had late breakfast of 2 rashers of bacon, 2 fried eggs, mushrooms and apple - and it wasn't enough. I am wanting more. Not full, not satisfied. What more could I have to make this satisfying? More bacon? Low carb starts to get pricey when the meat piles up.

I've started reading those low-carb books I bought, a bit bewildered about which one to follow first - Atkins? Eades? Lutz? All have a different take on what matters in the low carb approach. I don't need convincing that low-carb is good for me, or that it can bring weight-loss, rather it is the practicalities, what to eat, how much, what might help if I'm bothered by cravings, all that sort of stuff, because just now I'm making a mess of everything.

I'm not sticking to No S, nor low-carb and IF is a struggle, just keeping me from putting back on the weight I've taken so long to lose. It is just dawning on me that what BrightAngel says is right, it is hard to maintain a weight-loss, perhaps just as hard as losing in the first place. But, that means it will be EVEN HARDER to get to the destination I aim for - a WHtR of less than 50%. There's nothing outrageous about that - it isn't freakish or abnormal, so WHY IS IT SO DAMNED HARD TO DO?

A little history and a theory about that question: I wasn't breast fed for many crucial months of my early life - I'm wondering if I was introduced to excess carbs early on. I was a fat child from very early, unusual amongst my generation, unhappily different, with no idea why. I didn't choose to be the odd one out, bad at sport, awkward and ungainly, ridiculous and embarassed, but that's what I was. The years when I wasn't fat, following a successful diet during my late teens, I was a smoker.

I would now say I wasn't really at a normal weight - what it takes tobacco to sustain doesn't really belong to you. I've never known "normal weight" - not in my whole life. Perhaps the question isn't "Why is this so damned hard?" but "How did I avoid diabetes?" Yet I see clear indications of being borderline - the chronic tendency to low energy, using cigarettes and caffeine to lift me time after time - that surely has been a sign that all wasn't well with my metabolism.

Can I now, at 60, be well in a way I've never known before? Is that more than a dream? Let's see. I haven't given up yet.

5:35pm - what was that meal I just had? Too late for lunch, and too early for dinner? As I have 2 hours of tango from 8 till 10 and don't want to be weighed down, time to digest was essential. And, after a month without one single day of No S success so far, (10 days) I felt I really must eat properly, that that would be my only defence against the dietary dissaray I've been enmired in.

[BrightAngel]

It is just dawning on me that what BrightAngel says is right,
it is hard to maintain a weight-loss,
perhaps just as hard as losing in the first place.

Graham..I AM right !!!

[Graham]

10st 10 3/4lb, 37 34", BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.4% __ @80g carbs FASTING

As far as I can tell (I cook stew, then have some on a plate, what % of the original went on the plate? don't know, so how count the carbs?) I had about 80 grams of carbohydrate yesterday. I am 3/4lb heavier. It could be just meaningless variation - but I need to know!

I had a successful day No S and "low carb" - if that level of low-carb isn't sufficient to cause weight loss I need to know!. My energy was ok, my mood was ok, I ate 3 meals and didn't snack. I had no cream cheese, cream or yoghourt - they are all fine - but I tend to sweeten them with jam, and snack on them. I do want to use yoghourt because it is lower carb and more gut-friendly than milk from the bottle.

And yes, I'm fasting, but I didn't want to. If I had seen my weight looked any lower than yesterday I would have been tempted to say "I may have got No S/low carb combination worked out now, I will see if I can lose weight without fasting" I would really like to stop fasting, because it is unpleasant and keeping myself applied to things that need doing is more difficult. It feels like my life becomes narrowed down to a diet obsession, too many resources going on this dull, narrow topic - I wouldn't mind if I was making headway - now it's a grind just to stand still - an ugly treadmill I can't step off without a calamity.

I still want that trim waist and the feeling of lightness and youth that I imagine will accompany it. If I never get there I'll never know.

5:37pm, Today's fast, good and bad. Good has been discovering GREEN TEA (with a little lemon juice) - seemed to be helping with mood and energy BUT now I have stomach pains! Not familiar with this. For the last hour there was a lot of gurgling and such - but this is different, tight and unpleasant. Now drinking water, I think that might fix it. 7pm It did.

[Graham]

10st 10 1/2lb, 38 1/2", BMI 23.6, WHtR 57.5%, Body Fat 32.6%

These figures are of dubious value: I had been up from 2:45am till 8 doiing overnight voluntary work - had cups of tea, so stomach not empty when I got home and measured it around 9am.

Slept till midday, breakfast of fried bacon, egg, mushrooms, coffee, milk, sweeteners, followed by @ 1/3 of a low-carb loaf sliced and buttered. £2 for each little loaf. Only 13g of carbs in whole thing, enjoyable but costly. Low carb isn't cheap but more densely nutritiious and hopefully better for me in the long run.

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 1/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 55.6%, Body Fat 29.3%

So. Now I'm slimmer, though the puzzle over my weight continues - a week of "low carbing" and two fasts finds me weighing exactly what I weighed a week ago - what is that about? And my breath is a little nasty this morning too. I ate moderately yesterday, it does seem that leaving out sweet stuff - including my friend, the apple, seems to curtail cravings.

It seems eating non-sweet, especially in the morning, with the emphasis on protein and fat, may protect me from craving-driven snacking later in the day. I must repeat the experiment to be sure.

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.7% FASTING

Visited SO, had carby food, carby "treats", and a swollen belly tells it's tale today. To be exactly where I was a week ago, to see no reward for a week of privation - I find it hard to believe. I imagined one day, I'd get to my target weight/waist and could cut back to just one fast a week. Having to do 2 fasts just to stand still, I find hard to accept. I am, if I wish to maintain my current weight, trapped, obliged to continue an unpleasantly demanding regime - otherwise I have to get low carb figured out, and stick to it.

I don't want to be where I am today, but here I am.

2:52pm I am studying. Not wasting my day. "Life without bread" and a book on Yoga in middle/later years. Both worthwhile. My eyes feel tired as they do every fasting day. I've just done isometrics, will do yoga in a llittle while. I am thinking it's 2/3 done (breakfast and midday meal both behind me, and in the evening I will eat)

4:43pm I forgot to mention - I had a cup of green tea this morning, and off my stomach went again, gurgling away, as though it were stimulating peristalsis. Not a good idea if I'm fasting, I don't want more stomach cramps. So I switched to black coffee, interspersed with water, and I've been fine. I'm a bit wary about green tea now.

Just read scary article about artificially sweetened fizzy drinks and kidney damage. Got me thinking about all the sweeteners I use in my incessant cups of tea and coffee, and how I'd really rather not be putting my health at risk, and then it hit me - I switched to Splenda weeks ago, thinking it would be better for me as it didn't provoke an insulin spike (unlike the saccharin/ cyclamate combo I'd been using) - and I don't think it has made any difference at all!

9:15pm A fine meal at the close of my fast: lamb chops, onion, mushroom, mashed carrot and swede, broccoli, with some gravy and mint sauce. About 35g of carbs. Satisfied, then a little weary, then with the quest starting: "what else? what else?" - I have so many carbs to play with, I could even eat a slice or two of bread and stay within a modest daily limit - or put strawberry jam in cream - that would be nice - yet that would be deciding to fail No S yet again (I fail more days than I succeed these days, except I'm so resentful of the whole fail/succeed thing that I just note it on HabitCal and otherwise ignore it.

[Graham]

10st 10 3/4lb, 37 1/4", BMI 23.7, WHtR 55.6%, Body Fat 29.1%

OK: waist going in the right direction, and weight up 1lb. Slept pretty well. Ho hum. Compared to previous weeks I need to get focused on how the carbs sneak in (every day I have a pint of milk I add 26 grams of carbs to my diet for a kick-off). I am a fan of milk - it's one of the more affordable organic animal foods, and contains many good things. Imagine me, an Englishman, drinking my tea without it!

So, if milk gives 26g of carbs, that gives me about 46grams more to play with, if I'm to keep within Lutz's recommendations. Come to think of it, 72g a day, without considering my age, sex, activity level or size seems a little arbitrary. Still, it is a starting point, something to aim for. I am finding "Life Without Bread" very impressive and persuasive, especially on the more general health benefits of low carb, way beyond weight-loss issues.

If carbs are bad, and protein is good, what about gout? Is that an "excess protein" issue? Or is it that plus a metabolic deficit, or booze? Not that low-carb has to be "high protein" - higher fat seems to be the more sensible option, though that seems an alarming choice after years of the "fat is dangerous, especially saturated fat and cholesterol" message.

Anyway, back to personal facts - I have that sore back of throat/nose junction once again, just taken a couple of grams of Vitamin C and will carry on dosing myself with it till that warning of incipient infection is gone. It was a bearable fast overall, less unpleasant than I feared at the start - I'm pretty soft on myself these days, I don't worry if it is exactly 24 hours, actually it's rarely that long, I snack till late on Sunday, yet eat about 7 on Monday, so it may be only 20 hours of true fasting, but that is all I'm prepared to subject myself to at the moment,

I'm getting tired of fasting, of any hint of severity, it is not what I am willing to do to myself any more. I'm not giving up, just finding out how to persist nicely.

[Graham]

10st 10 1/2lb, 37 1/4", BMI 23.6, WHtR 55.6%, Body Fat 29.1%

Interesting to reflect on carbs consumed yesterday - I avoided beer at the pub - had a Jamesons instead - 0 carbs! but the BISCUITS.... I didn't notice how many I had - I'm going to say 5, I think that's right or close - and I discover that they have 9g PER BISCUIT! 45 grams of carbs in just a few minutes! Wow! The rest of my day was really moderate by comparison, 3 meals plus @ 1/2pint milk garnered just 68g of carbs - but add 45g for biscuits and the day's total comes to 113 grams! Damn!

Also what to do about the milk? I could make yoghurt with my excess milk, but if I don't sweeten it at all, I don't actually like it much and I don't know what to combine it with to make a nice contribution to my diet. If I just have extra milk, cups of milk for example, then I get more carbs than I'm aiming for on a daily basis.

10:43pm I think I've managed to stay within 72g carbs today, but it has felt odd, the 3 meals I've had, the pressure to have the third meal - yet getting insulin down has so many good effects (so Lutz tells us) it's worth giving it a try. I've even managed to squeeze in a beer! thank good ness for things like frozen pollack and frozen vegetables - quick cooking, nutritious, low carb.

I've been feeling tired since my yoga class. Better turn in soon.

[Graham]

10st 11lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.4%

This so disappointing. For the first time I'm pretty sure I did keep under 72g of carbs - and look where it's got me! It wasn't easy, but I was careful, I believe my counting was honest and didn't skip any detail - so why am I heavier and fatter? I did eat my 3rd meal late-ish - fried fish with peas and a beer (but I had counted, it was allowable, @ 6g of carbs in a small bottle)

I've been reading Lutz and Allan's "Life Without Bread" - it is a very good book. Goes deeper in explaining the metabolic consequences of excess insulin, very clarifying and motivating - Lutz found 72g carbs was a sufficient limit to reduce insulin and the consequential damage - but the practice, me in my life, why is it not conforming to predictions?

I feel well. (well, apart from a minor niggling ache in my lower back - now, is that muscular or incipient kidney disease?... damn those sweeteners!) I have a good sense of energy - and that is quite a pleasure, I don't feel that way often enough. I ate welll yesterday - I had at least 6 portions of vegetables - I had salad, I had protein, I rode my bike a little too - though not enough. Thing is my off-road bike is in a mess and the bike-club is temporarily closed, no affordable way to sort it at the moment.

All my meals contained a fried component - since fat has to rise if carbs fall, that seems acceptable. I don't track my calories so I've no idea how many I'm having - but it is just what my appetite prompts, no sense of excess, of being stuffed.

Since I read montanajack's posting mentioning "blue zones" I've been reading with interest, particularly about the Okinawans - they are well into their pork and tofu, and lots of vegetables(including seaweed, of course ). Typical centenarian's BMI would be between 20 and 22, they are active and fit. Not exactly sure what their % of carbs, fat and protein are - they aren't low protein, that's for sure, nor vegetarian - not markedly low fat - but they eat less calories than mainland Japanese, less rice, far less sugar. Nice environment - space to grow your veg in the garden outside your house, sociable neighbours, strong families, warm climate - not much like Walthamstow.

1:45pm Cabbage! Yes. I was in the market, seeing all the veg on display, felt so drawn to the mushrooms, cabbage and hesitant about apples. So breakfast was fried sausage, egg and mushroom with boiled cabbage. I'd thought apples go nicely with sausage/mushrooms, onions etc - but I had the feeling that ALL sweet foods were a problem! I think all the sweet stuff provokes cravings - and then I get needy, restless and conflicted about my dietary choices. Cabbage turns out to have a mild sweetness, perfectly acceptable - and, alongside the sweetness of ketchup (source of lycopene) it was quite delightful. I realise that vegetable portion sizes have to grow for me to succeed at low-carb. Sticking to 80g/3oz portions makes life too complicated, as I have to provide so many different ingredients then.

3:37pm Must not be hasty but: I've felt very tired since I had that meal. Wondering about the cabbage. Maybe I could have cooked it longer? It was fine, but I could have cooked it to a softer state - maybe I should've? I guess I'll bounce back eventually, but I'm not sure where I am with energy/diet today. Pity, the day started well, and I was hungry, and then it was nearly lunch and I was having breakfast, but why is that such a big deal?

[BrightAngel]

Graham,
I find that here at "normal" weight,
aside from the inevitable up-and-down bounces,
scale movement is infinitesimal,
and progress can only be measured over long time periods.
You can find some charts demonstratating that in the DietHobby archieves.

[Graham]

10st 10 1/2lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.6, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.5%

<60g carbs. Ate enough though, it is partly a matter of spotting the little things that contribute massive carb loads (biscuits, for example). mayonnaise has less carbs than ketchup and mustard even less. Energy level OK - yet, again, waist stubbornly up from a few days ago, is this diet going to work or not?

Today I won't be waiting to find out, I will be FASTING hoping to have a positive day despite the deprivation. Being positive is very important, even at a metabolic level.

Looks like I might need to cut my milk order, the fridge is filling up. Making yoghourt is proving harder than I'd hoped, and if I'm not sweetening it, not particularly useful.

I'm wondering how to use low-carb Lutz-style. Like how long to persist - perhaps a couple of weeks? And if there is no useful effect, I'll re-evaluate, tell myself that, no matter how clever Dr Lutz is, it didn't work for me. But how can that be? It is a really honest, erudite book - no sense of a con about it. I must carry on reading the book, get some knowledge and motivation under my belt, be smart about this - my body is smart, I have to be even smarter.

My body seems very attached to my waist fat, doing all sorts to defy my efforts to shed it. I am seeking ways to address the issues. 3 hormones are alleged to be playing an important part: Insulin, Cortisol and Oestrogen. Low carbing should be addressing the Insulin - the Cortisol is a stress hormone, and that, perhaps I'm not addressing so well - it might explain why my body resists my efforts to slim it? Oestrogen doesn't seem to figure much in my weight issues, if my fat distribution is any guide (not so much hips/thighs, it's more waist and somewhat above - my legs don't show much fat at all.

@BA - not sure what you're telling me here, how it relates to me. I'm not at normal waist for sure, and "normal" weight ? While I have such a high and incorrigible waist/height ratio I can't see myself as "normal" at all.

[BrightAngel]

@BA - not sure what you're telling me here, how it relates to me. I'm not at normal waist for sure, and "normal" weight ? While I have such a high and incorrigible waist/height ratio I can't see myself as "normal" at all.

Graham,
My comment to you refered to the matter of being at "normal" weight.
With a BMI of 23.6 you are in the middle of the "normal" weight range,
therefore, you are at normal weight.
Your waist size is a different issue.

"Normal" weight doesn't distinguish between fat distribution.
Getetics has a great deal to do with the location of our body fat.
Taubes' Why We Get Fat talks about that in detail.

Many women would like to have less fat in their thighs,
or stomach, or either more or less fat in their breasts.
These are genetic issues, and men are not exempt from this difficulty.

I've seen videos of anexoric girls who have been hospitalized
because they are losing vital life functions due to starvation,
and was surprised to see some of them still have large fat deposits in various areas..
in fact, some of them look a bit plump.

So some people must be like those Zucker rats,
who will give up fat in their necessary organs
rather than give up specific "unnecessary" fat

Being normal weight. and FEELING normal are also different issues.
I find the more I can Accept my own personal limitations, the happier I am.

[Graham]

10st 10 3/4lb, 37 3/4", BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.4%

OK: Last night's meal was comprehensive, and afterwards I had a milky drink. I know I overdid it a bit, I did feel a sense of strain before bed-time. I'd presumed I'd feel post-meal fatigue but I didn't, so I slept later than expected, more time to dwell on the sense of want. Also, I kept to one plate in theory, but allowed myself my almond "bread" ad lib - I think now a stricter approach would have stopped me stuffing msyelf - but I was missing that sense of satisfaction, of "meal finished" which may be an insulin surge.

Still working on this, but I'm treading water in an effortful way. I didn't get any outdoor exercise yesterday. That was partly a consequence of the weather. I might have to address that in future. I ate 300g of meat. It was nice, but obviously, with all the veg and nuts and milk perhaps nullifying all my deprivation. Which didn't even feel like deprivation: does this mean I am now totally adapted to dieting? Do my non-fast habits now totally compensate for my fasts?

J would be very disappointed to find myself stuck at this point. Not what I want. I suppose I could consider becoming a Seventh Day Adventist?

Re-reading some previous postings here where BA quotes Taubes - concurs with what Lutz and Allan say - give the low-carb regime time, it is a broader healing strategy, it isn't just for weight-loss, much more can be accomplished, and the older you are the more time it might take to reverse the damage. A note of caution: Lutz and Allan make it clear that not everyone benefits from a low-carb diet: some are too far gone, some do not respond as predicted: most show lower cholesterol, but a small number show an increase - I admire their frankness on that issue.

10am. I just realised something I do feel sad about - I have lost the sense of unfettered enjoyment in my post-fast meal. I used to feel so free then, as long as it was one plate, I could have a lovely meal without danger of excess. Now that is no longer true. Even now, I feel a slight ache in my stomach, as though last night's excess produced a slight bruising and I've yet to recover from it.

I should be slimmer, lighter and feeling happy and hungry today, and I don't. I miss that appetite and relish. The only thing I can really say makes persisting with low carb worthwhile is I'm pretty certain my chest is much better on low-carb. That is something to cling to.

[Graham]

10st 9lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.4, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30.5%

Disorganised day, didn't eat as much/often as usual, did have low-carb pancakes, but later had chocolates, jam in cream cheese, didn't get my 5-a-day, did have a beer, stayed up late watching tv - and here I am, lighter and slimmer. Beginning to fear that I, much like BrightAngel or Connorcream may not be able to low-carb without also restricting caloric intake in some fashion. I don't want to deal with that just yet.

As I ate relatively little, I think I may have stayed below 72g of carbs anyway, but incorporating "forbidden" foods - sugary stuff - and not ticking all the boxes of wholesomeness.

12:56. Neurotic or what? I've been getting a little nervous about eating so much fat/fried food. Though my low-carb reading tells me not to worry, I'm thinking about my own history. Had a liver problem for a while following an infection as a child, had to eat low-fat for a while and I've wondered from time to time whether my liver is a weak point - issues with metabolising alcohol certainly, and perhaps fat too?

Anyway, now I'm feeling nervous - wondering, have these weeks of low carb and higher fat been unwise for me? I'm feeling vulnerable. Lutz and Allan make it clear that not everybody reacts the same way to low carb: whilst most cases of elevated cholesterol are helped by low-carbing, there were a small group who responded badly, where low-carbing triggered a rise in cholesterol. Which am I?

9:47pm Rice and Dal! Yes, I needed that! With youghourt and mango chutney. I feel soothed by it. I should perhaps have had vegetables with it, but I've had more than my 5 a day, so no urgency about that. I'm pretty certain I'll be over my carb limit for today, but I don't care now. I was feeling physically off colour and wasn't wanting any more meat, or cheese - (nor fish nor poultry) this was right for this evening.

As I've just replenished my glycogen stores I'll no doubt be tons heavier tomorrow. Sigh.

[BrightAngel]

Anyway, now I'm feeling nervous

Mellow out, Graham.
You are doing everything right.

[Graham]

10st 11 1/2lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.8, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 29.9%

Weight up as expected. Waist steady. FASTING

9:44pm Diet disarray continues, I'm not winning the battle to be slim at the moment, trying to win the other one which is about staying healthy, and being kind to myself, for now.

[Graham]

10st 12lb, 37 3/8", BMI 23.9, WHtR 55.8%, Body Fat 29.1%

Interesting figures: weight up, waist down. Weight up not too surprising: I had a high-ish (for me, for the moment) carb meal following my fast: Rice and lentil dal with broccoli and coriander (cilantro) pesto. I then had dessert: stewed apple with walnuts, cream and cream cheese.

What hasn't got written down here was that I've been feeling a bit strange for a few days now, strange sensation in my chest - I was thinking "Is this angina?" and "Am I eating too much fat?". Yesterday I got fed up of not knowing what was going on, so I went out for a bike ride, thinking angina should get worse if I put greater demand on my heart - and it made no difference at all. That led me to think that maybe it wasn't angina - but the sensation was still there. Today I noted with interest on "back from the land of low carb diets" thread Over43 mentions having suspected having gallbladder issues while low-carbing - and that has got me thinking - is that a possible explanation for my discomfort?

Today, that strange sensation is gone. I'll be monitoring the situation, but I wonder if low-carbing, the way I have been doing it, might have led me to eat something I don't tolerate well to excess. Maybe the frying? It could be meaningless coincidence - but I'm not heroic enough to gamble today, after all, I only have one body to experiment on...

Confounding factor: the coriander(cilantro) pesto - not only delicious but reputed to have profoundly useful chelating properties : mercury and aluminium are both said to be excreted easily when coriander is consumed regularly over a period of, say, 3 weeks, about 2 teaspoons of the pesto per day. I used it before a few years back and I and SO both felt very much improved health-wise after using it for a couple of weeks. I will continue with it, can't separate out the two approaches, first I must stabilise a feeling of well-being. I am still reading about low-carb, will deepen my theoretical knowledge, I am persuaded it is a sound approach, the issue is implementation and my own unique physiology. Also, the "blue zone" people aren't markedly low-carb - though they aren't high-carb or vegetarian either.

A line of enquiry: is fat the problem or cooked fat? Is fat "good"? Ancestors may have wanted fat, but it wasn't so available as animals were leaner. Some populations had higher fat - like the eskimos. What about Stefansson? he was on a 100% meat (with fat to whatever % he preferred) diet for a year with no ill effects BUT - was the meat he was eating back then (1930's) pasture fed instead of immobilised and fattened on grain as is common today? Would he have managed so well on today's meat and animal fats? I don't think I could afford a total meat diet anyway, but Stefansson ate meat usually boiled or raw, not fried or roasted. I might look into that as higher heat alters fat and creates AGE's, a harmful by-product of high-temperature cooking.

11:28am What to have for breakfast? Not fried, not bread, what? Porridge with milk and Splenda. Just one bowl, not particularly full, now I'll wait and see how I feel. One thing that does seem clear: I've got some chest congestion - it does seem to be related to carb level. What is my solution?

3:35pm Got some energy and some fatigue post porridge. Did isometrics and then a 1hr bike ride. That unpleasant sense of a dull pressure in my chest, almost an ache, is still gone (or very faint). I wasn't pedalling too hard, the bottom bracket is a bit loose and I'm afraid of damaging a bearing, but I was in almost constant motion, sufficient to sweat a bit, for most of an hour. I wonder if more carbs + more exercise might be a more tolerable regime if I can't handle sufficient fat to stay low-carb?

A question remains: carbs from where? Back to bread and other starches - potatoes, rice? Pulses? Vegetables? I think I'll be keeping fats/fried foods low for a few days more - might look into the effect of more boiled/steamed/roasted/grilled/broiled protein foods.

[Graham]

10st 9 3/4lb, 37 7/8", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 31%

Interesting - weight down, waist up. Whiskey, (3!), porridge x 2, bread, coriander pesto, no five a day (but well over an hour on my bike). I'm not sure if I ate any vegetables at all! But that unpleasant chest sensation is gone, and for that I am very grateful, relieved that I could discover and implement a solution.

Today I'm soaking chickpeas - I'll make chickpea curry - considering this choice: what to eat it with? Options are rice, cauliflower "rice", quinoa - or I could go crazy and buy some bread... - or just forget the whole carb aspect and have a selection of vegetables. With yoghurt of course. Made a batch so thick I could use it to hang wallpaper.

10:20am Breakfast was porridge with milk and splenda. Now that peculiar mild wash of weariness has begun. Before eating I was hungry, but alert and energetic. Now this paradoxical state, something of weariness about it, yet the brightness of the morning still beckons me to get pedalling and see something of the world, the delights of the day.

Thinking longer term, can I re-visit low carb with greater success? What would need to be different to avoid that nasty condition it seemed to spark off? What about some days low carb, some days not? I have the bones of an idea: Monday is fasting, the evening meal could be mixed, but Tuesday could be a low-carb day to reduce chest congestion prior to the evening's choir rehearsal. After that, some mix of carb days and low carb days to avoid another crisis?

[Graham]

10st 11lb, 37 5/8", BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.2%, Body Fat 30%

Yesterday was carby breakfast, then middling lunch - the chickpea curry accompanied by cauliflower "rice", evening meal an apple, grilled sausages and almond and egg "bread".

I just read an interesting review of the Atkins diet making three interesting points: 1. Calories do matter 2. Insulin matters less than the Atkins people say for weight loss. 3. The effect on blood lipid profile of unrestricted fat consumption depends on whether weight is being lost or not. When fat intake goes up and weight does NOT go down, blood lipid profiles worsen, when there is accompanying weight loss, they improve.

Add this to reflecting on the blue zone people. I am thinking that the low-carb diets were designed to address obesity - which people in blue zone cultures tend not to suffer from. They aren't low-carb - but they aren't high carb either. Carb sources tend to be more plants and less grains than their shorter-lived neighbours. Animal protein is enjoyed, it does seem to be part of a good longevity strategy for most.

[TexArk]

Graham,

I think you might find reading Kurt Harris very interesting. His blog is PaNu. I don't have the link at hand, but he is easy to find. He has not written a book, but there is much good reading on his site. Here is a quote that sums up his philosophy:

I eat a VLC nearly carnivorous diet. The most important elements of this are no wheat or other grains, zero plant oils and very low fructose. Whether the carb level is 2% or 10% or even 20% with preservation of these more important parameters, I have not seen evidence there is a difference.

I am eating pretty much this way. See his 12 steps. It is doable and works well with NoS. I disagree with the Life Without Bread approach in that he counts all carbs as equal even though his title says no bread! For me there is a huge difference between 72 carb grams that includes grains and 100 grams that does not. Other than that, I think he has done a great job showing that there are more health reasons to restrict carbs than weight loss.

[Graham]

TexArk, thanks for your interest. It set me off on several hours of Internet searching. And - confusion is growing! I discovered some new things (which are hopefully actually true, it is the Internet, after all) - like there are notable, studied populations who do eat a lot of carbs - without insulin resistance (Zulus, Kitavans). Zulu carb experience seemed to be rural dependence on maize and some other plant carb was ok, but town consumption of flour and sugar was not ok at all.

I tried to find out what the Okinawans (lots living to 100 - blue zone people) ate in the way of carb/protein/fat ratios and got sidetracked. Two things are clear - one, that they eat 25% less grain than mainland Japanese and about 75% less sugar - they have a tradition of not overdoing meal sizes, and eat lots of vegetables, including the starchy sweet potato. The other thing to note - there is a diet called "the Okinawan Diet" and it ignores many things about the actual okinawan diet! Tofu is good, yes - but they say animal fat is bad - actually Okinawans eat lots of pork and use pork fat for frying. Funny how that got "lost".

Anyway, there are plenty of reasons to say that a very low carb diet may be therapeutic for some metabolic maladies - but, as a general diet, there isn't any population you can point to and say "they live longer than anyone else". It may be a diet you can be healthy on (Masai, Eskimos) but it isn't essential for longevity (Okinawa) or health (Rural Zulus, Kitavans).

I just don't know where I am diet wise at the moment - low-carbing seemed to trigger some very unpleasant symptoms which abated as I switched to meals with more carbs and less frying. I am trying to discover a good strategy which works for my body. The PaNu thing sounds like a good idea for some people - but you have to be affluent to maintain it, and it isn't the only diet that might keep people healthy.

So much detail, so much complexity - so many claiming to be right, disagreeing with one another, profit and pride perverting the debate.

[Graham]

10st 12 1/4lb, 38 1/8", BMI 23.9, WHtR 56.9, Body Fat 31.1%

So many things tried and not working for me. My body is not a machine. Full of feeling and not suited to some strategies that seem fine on paper. FASTING today.

[Graham]

10st 11 1/2lb, 37 9/16", BMI 23.8, WHtR 56.1%, Body Fat 29.7%

The fast was tolerable, though fatigue and hunger were pronounced by the end. Large meal: lettuce & carrot vinaigrette salad, chicken with onion, mushrooms, cauliflower in cheese sauce and a new ingredient: boiled sweet potato. Full at the time, yet with floating desire for "a little something to finish the meal" (thoughts of chocolate or stewed apples with cream featured strongly) yet I resisted, the vestiges of No S encouraging me to aim for as near as possible to a one plate meal.

I slept readily, but woke early, and here I am, a little lighter and slimmer, but heavier than I've been on a Saturday for some weeks. I intend to work on my racing bike today, hoping to have one bike fit for regular riding for the coming week. Warmer weather supports increased exercise.

[Graham]

10st 10lb, 37 9/16", BMI 23.5, WHtR 56.1%, Body Fat 30.1%

[Graham]

10st 11 1/2lb, 37 7/8", BMI 23.8, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 30.6%

Sunday I was fairly active later in the day at the allotment, bike riding, strength training, eating seemed proportionate. Plenty to do today, fasting may make that harder, but I don't have much left to fight weight/waist gain with, so I'm FASTING TODAY.

[Graham]

10st 12 3/4lb, 38", BMI 24, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30.6%

Limits look like this: high fat seems to have provoked some scary symptoms, high protein - what will the protein be? I find the idea of more animal protein, more flesh, at any rate, repulsive. Yesterdays fast, plus how I ate afterwards - imprecisely, so a no-s "f" and then if I wanted 5 a day "had" to have dessert... stewed apple/raisin with cinnamon, walnuts - and a little sugar and more than a little cream. It was delicious - yet still grazing, desiring, cream cheese, and that too sweetened with strawberry jam. I was in an odd state - had a mild headache, tired, and I didn't enjoy the chicken I cooked - rather disappointing - even a turn-off.

A small idea: a dilemma may arise at the end of a fast: one plate or five a day. It doesn't have to be that way, but, if it is, there are implications with each choice. This food business is wearisome - me, my body, my diet.

[Graham]

10st 11 3/4lb, 37 7/8", BMI 23.8, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 30.5%

[BrightAngel]

Graham.

I have a strong focus on food,
but I work to choose things I like
and to have some fun in the process.

Don't worry. Be happy.

[Graham]

11st 0 1/4lb, 38" BMI 24.2, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30.2%

Not sure what to make of your last comment BA - this has been getting me down - or perhaps this is just part of a bigger picture. I am fed up, and I don't want to control myself today, I want to get off this treadmill, and for now I see that probably means I'll get fatter, and that depresses me, but I must stop this craziness for a while.

Yesterday I ate a lot of chocolates. It was both a sad and happy experience. Sad to know there'd be consequences, happy to say "f**k the rules", and feel the freedom of just following impulses without some part of myself judging and measuring. I'm sick of that. I briefly thought I'd just go back to basic No S but quickly realised even that was an unwelcome burden, an oppressive dogma I didn't want to sustain.

The winter months with recurring infections forced me to acknowledge where my body might not conform to predictions based on the experiences of younger people's diets. Whatever I do next must reflect the unpleasant realities of an ageing body. I don't like the way I feel today, and I have a strong sense that neither fasting nor any lighter dietary restriction would make me feel any better.

[Graham]

Sat 11st 0 3/4lb, 38 3/8", BMI 24.3, WHtR 57.3%, Body Fat 31.1%
Sun 11st 1lb, 38", BMI 24.3, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30%
Mon 11st 0 1/2lb, 37 7/8", BMI 24.2, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 29.8%
Tue 10st 13 3/4lb, 38", BMI, 24.1, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30.4%
Wed 11st 0 3/4lb, 37 7/8", BMI 24.3, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 29.8%
Thu 10st 13 3/4lb, 38 1/4", BMI 24.1, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 31%
Fri 10st 13 1/4lb, 38 1/8", BMI 24.1, WHtR 56.9% Body Fat 30.8%

FASTING This is a long, dreary road. Hard to go on, but I'm driven by continuing disgust with my physical state. It is easy to drift through fasting days, enterprise and optimism curtailed.

My efforts feel costly, yet I see no better way. Low carb began to feel rather dangerous when something resembling angina became chronic. I "cured" that by going back to higher carbs/lower fat - and up went my weight as I did so. My emotional reaction may have played a part, a few days I was off every discipline, and glad to free myself, yet knowing I paid a price. This body is at its current weight unwillingly, it does all it can to be fatter and great attention and persistence must be summoned day after day just to stay where I am, still far fatter than I can bear to be.

I don't know how to have what I want easily. I continue to seek for smarter/easier ways to success, alongside knowing for now that I can get rid of the waist fat if I'm willing to pay the price. A lingering question for me is how my immune system is affected by the drawn-out strain of interminable twice-weekly fasting. Is there a way to low-carb without it making me feel ill? Less fat/more protein, perhaps? (But( not animal flesh - I can only stand to eat so much of that - I am too conflicted to ever be a major carnivore) Tofu? Other vegetarian proteins are harder to track down, decent fermented soya products like tempeh or natto are impossible to find in my neighbourhood.

And another thing - I have become pretty convinced that SPLENDA was messing up my kidneys! I developed a chronic ache over the area of my right kidney. I switched back to my old brand of sweeteners (Calogran, a mix of saccharin and cyclamate) about a week ago, and slowly that dull back-ache has vanished. I could repeat the experiment just to make sure - but why would I do that to myself?

[Graham]

10st 13lb, 37 13/16" BMI 24, WHtR 56.4%, Body Fat 30%

A comprehensive fast-ending meal - hard to avoid, I went beyond No S through slack planning (no bread, so I had yoghurt dessert). Slight weight loss and waist loss, let it be genuine fat loss, not water or muscle!

Here I am, climbing the same stretch of mountain slope, further from the summit than I was mid-February. I'm no wiser either - I will go back, read my account of those last few months, complicated by efforts at low-carbing, and continuing bouts of throat infection/proto-colds I suspect consequences of impaired immunity. Fasting propaganda says my immune system should be even better and I'll live to 200 - but my body seems to be reading a different script.

There are always get-out clauses the dogmatists hide behind when their certainties fail - what is all that to me? I have to walk this road, not knowing whether the goal will be as rewarding as I imagine, or whether I can actually get there. I may not even live long enough to arrive - that would be SO annoying! My goal intrigues me, I may never have had a "normal" body fat % in my whole life. If I did get to a non-smoking trim physique, it might be for the first time in 60 years! Imagine if I should be mistaken for someone who had always been that way - "people like you don't have to worry" - how droll.

[Graham]

10st 12 3/4lb, 38 1/4", BMI 24, WHtR 57.1%, Body Fat 31.3%
10st 12 3/4lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.6, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 31.3% - revised figures for corrected height - probably 5' 7 1/2"

Sunday was very active - 6 hours at the allotment plus cycling around, patchy eating - I think now I should have done less work, or made sure I ate more and sooner, hours of work without proper food left me feeling out of sorts. I wasn't even sure that I'd be able to fast today. Now I am FASTING.

Saturday saw me repairing my mountain bike (with inspiring assistance from the bike workshop - they have saved me a great deal of waste of parts and money). I hope that fact, and the improving weather, will lead to more cycling, with an improved relationship between calories consumed and expended.

[Graham]

11st 0 3/4lb, 38", BMI 23.9, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.1%

In the mirror this morning I thought "I look pregnant". Yet I'm 1/4" down on yesterday. I am also 2lb HEAVIER. The fast-breaking meal around 8pm was a No S buster - and I hadn't been very active. I got 8 different fruit and veg in that one meal! and yoghurt with strawberry jam dessert. (lettuce, carrot, raisin salad, fried pork chop with onion, mushrooms, capsicum, pineapple, boiled sweet potato - and cilantro pesto on toast)

I could have eaten a bit less - I was aware I didn't absolutely have to have the yoghurt, yet I wanted it, and was a little fearful of creating a sense of deprivation. The yoghurt didn't weigh 2lb in any case.

On a strategic level, looking at my life wider than my waistline, I'm wondering whether I should take a holiday from fasting. It has become a routine, less productive than it was - I know that's partly lack of strictness on my part - and that in it's turn a result of weariness with the tedium.

What I'd like to do, on a sunny day like this, is to be out, active, and to forget dieting, let exercise solve my problems. Perhaps a dream for one of my age and history, but an attractive dream.

[Graham]

Wed 11st 1 1/2lb, 38 1/8", BMI 24, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 30.3%
Thu 11st 1lb, 38 3/8", BMI 24, WHtR 56.9%, Body Fat 31%
Fri 11st 2lb, 38 1/8", BMI 24.1, WHtR 56.5%, Body Fat 30.1%
Sat 11st 2 1/2lb, 38 3/8", BMI 24.2, WHtR 56.9%, Body Fat 30.7%

[Graham]

11st 1 1/2lb, 38", BMI 24, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 29.9%

Friday fasting didn't happen. No S is barely happening, though it is still the context of my thinking on food intake, alongside IF and still, if I could figure out how to do it safely, so would be low-carb.

Assumptions: I assumed, once I'd lowered my weight by any bearable strategy that didn't shed muscle, that I'd be able to just get on with my life, starting again comfortable at the new "re-set" weight. This seems to be unfounded.

Instead, it seems more as though weight-loss is a temporary phase, requiring a constant effort to resist return to a "set point" of weight, waist and body fat%. This is a very different proposition to what I thought I was taking on when I added Intrmittent Fasting to No S (No S being, on its own, completely ineffective with regard to weight loss in my case)

My assumptions were based on prior experience - but it seems not to apply to my body today. I also thought that, as I reduced my weight, the predicted improvement in testosterone/oestrogen ratio would increase available energy for exercise, making maintenance of the new weight congenial. If this has indeed happened, its effects have been overshadowed by other factors.

If I had been able to sustain low carb, I might be writing/thinking very differently today, but I got ill doing it. Likewise, had I been able to sustain the No S /IF combo - but I got ill doing that too. When these things happen, and the writers who have guided you haven't flagged up the possible problems, then the discouragement is much greater, for one is totally unprepared.

What I can do now is to explore a higher protein diet. That, in it's turn, will hinge on protein sources that are both palatable and affordable. Two good observations today: Lambs liver is very reasonably priced, stuffed with vitamins, lots of protein, low fat and not too bad if cooked with plenty of onions and some bacon. Kippers are also very cheap - and a good source of omega 3. I had liver, onions, bacon and broccoli for brunch today - and it was rather nice. I was pleased with myself for cooking that.

[Graham]

11st 3lb, 38 1/4", BMI 24.3, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30.2%

Feeling so clogged up, I can't not fast today. Strange, troubled dreams of food and bizarre eating regimes. The cleansing feeling of a fast is so attractive today, the weight issue seems secondary. Not sure if I'll be at the allotment today, SO thinks physical labour under those conditions is bound to be harmful, though sunshine, soil and potatoes beckon.

9:34pm, eaten and now my chest is annoyingly congested. a reaction to what I just ate or drank, I assume. Damn. Very tired now too. Turkey, onion, garlic, mushroom, pineapple, broccoli, sweet potato. No bread available to go with it. Then instant coffee, milk and sweeteners. I will turn in soon, I think, no reason to fight this fatigue.

[Graham]

11st 1 3/4lb, 38 1/2", BMI 24.1, WHtR 57%, Body Fat 31.2%

7:45am. Mild headache, mild soreness of nose/throat junction - I only mention them because they are not my normal state but occur frequently just after fasting. It seems to indicate some latent vulnerability triggered by the fast. It makes me think my immune system is easily upset by the stress of fasting, even when fasting feels absolutely welcome and right.

This is the background to my ambivalence about fasting - couple that vulnerability with winter weather and you have the string of coughs, colds and chest problems that dogged me through late 2010 and cause me to question just how sensible and responsible it is for me to fast, even if I want to do it.

What happens if I don't fast? I gain weight. If I'm shedding weight by a mechanism which makes me ill, should I be persisting with it? If I don't persist, what alternatives are there?

I could give up - but, as I've had one heart attack and don't want another, my weight and waist are issues I don't want to ignore. I can investigate low-carb by increasing my protein intake (higher fat, higher fried food intake seemed to provoke symptoms resembling chronic angina) - it might work.

I would say I'd increase exercise, but I know that's not a congenial option. Pushing myself to higher levels of aerobic activity caused a different profile of strain - I became very upset while exercising - outbursts of anger and distress which gradually made me dread sessions on my rowing machine. It seems efforts to force my body to be slimmer cause resistance - is there an answer for me? Am I missing something?

The conflict here: I diet/fast to improve my life quality and prolong it - effective weight-loss strategies I've used so far all exact a price beyond the discomfort of discipline - it isn't clear that their effects are overall life-extending, certainly not overall life-enhancing - poor health or chronically jagged emotional states aren't acceptable trade-offs for a slimmer body.

Cold Hands - every fast these days I feel cold. A sign of adaptive thermogenesis - it has been noted in some studies to negate the expected effects of a calorie deficit, or even to overshoot a deficit leading to weight gain during a calorie-restricted diet. It is as though the body is defending a weight "set point". I also read, today, that poor maternal diet during pregnancy is a statistically significant contributor to childhood obesity. So some people are going to be set up to have to fight harder* to be slim than others.

If the immune system is also down-regulated by a prolonged calorie deficit can there be a safe answer? I recall a study some years ago about the poor health of some Olympic athletes - there was talk of "over-training" and I think a post-exercise depression of the blood level of a particular nutrient associated with immune function was identified. What was that?

* harder or more subtly? "Softly, softly, catchee monkey"

Being good at storing fat does not mean that one will be good at accessing and using that resource when shortages arise. The "calories in vs calories out" idea assumes a unidimensional linear relationship between food, exercise and fat storage - the down-regulation of BMR seems to be regarded by some as a myth. Perhaps the truth is more complex - researchers say not everybody exhibits adaptive thermogenesis (or perhaps not to an equal degree?).

Here I'm on low-carb territory - and I'm not unhappy with the insulin hypothesis - but the problem of how well one tolerates the macro-nutrients that replace the carbs cannot be ignored. It is, again, more problematic than switching fuel sources for a Chieftain tank. The fat for carbs swap didn't seem to work too well for me. Frying may have been confounding, or that I simply let calorie intake rise (this is logical if you follow the low-carb proponents arguments) - but, for whatever reason, it became too scary to continue: angina or anginomimetic symptoms are insupportable companions.

[Graham]

11st 0 3/4lb, 38 1/4", BMI 23.9, WHtR 56.7%, Body Fat 30.8%

Allotment & No S without the nonsense yesterday.

Finally - I have Stevia! Legal too! It is whole leaf extract drops or very fine powder of whole leaf. How cost-effective is it? @£10 for 120ml of drops - how much is a drop?

40+ drops to sweeten a mug of coffee - a very expensive sweetener. Say 6ml per mug: @ £10 for 120ml, = £1 for 12ml, 50p a mug! Utterly ridiculous - way beyond what I'd be willing to pay considering my current rate of tea/coffee consumption. (oddly, my first sampling I thought I'd used only 1 1/2 drops! I must have added the drops into a mug with sweeteners in it already, no other way to explain that wildly optimistic error)

White sugar costs @ 0.4p per teaspoon, Splenda costs @ 0.9p per tablet - when I discover how big a drop is, I can work out the cost per drop and see how it stacks up cost-wise.

I must make allowances for it being likely safer than any other sweetener, a food/herb rather than a chemical designed only to please my taste-buds, and therefore worth a greater outlay than an artificial sweetener or the devilish substance it replaces.

Saturday edit: I'm not too impressed with whole-leaf Stevia extract - it would cost a lot for me to use it in all my drinks, and it has a lingering sweetness reminiscent of saccharin or liquorice. I wonder if the concentrated products are more palatable? Not likely, I suppose (its the same stuff after all..) but I'm tempted to try it anyway. For its non-toxic reputation and something nearer quotidian affordability.

[Graham]

11st 0 1/4lb, 38 3/4", BMI 23.9, WHtR 57.4%, Body Fat 32.2%

How did I get to think whole leaf stevia extract was super-sweet? It took me 30 drops to get close to the sweetness of 2 regular sweetener tablets, and it is a cloying sweetness, a bit like liquorice. I think I'll have to check different brands, extracts rather than whole leaf, before I can rejoice. (perhaps)

[Graham]

38 3/4"

[Graham]

11st 0 1/2lb, 38 1/2", BMI 23.9, WHtR 57%, Body Fat 31.5%

Fasted yesterday, sore throat now. It is mild, just a hint, a warning. I'll take plenty of vitamin C today, it will fade, but it warns me I'm living on the edge of what my immune system will tolerate. Pathetic, really, but there it is, and I must work with what I have, not what I think I ought to have.

I ate well last night - got my 5 a day in one meal, with plenty of lean protein too, no taxing physical demands, weather mild. I enjoyed my fast, and my meal, save for the mild discomfort of restraint when my plate was empty, my buttered bread was gone, and I could have grazed happily on sweets.

[Graham]

10st 13 1/2lb* 38" BMI 23.7, WHtR 56.3%, Body Fat 30.4%

No scales available. Saturday was busiest day at allotment so far this year. Digging. Snacking - biscuits, chocolate, wish I had a scale but waist says I did more good than harm on balance. Staying at SO's is good for me, despite the arguments. What convoluted dramas my life consists of.

*After breakfast and a bike-ride home, I weighed at 10st 13 1/2lb. I won't have been any heavier on waking, perhaps I might have been lighter? Anyway, I'll take this as a conservative measurement (waist re-measure at this weight was 38 1/2" but I know I was slimmer before eating)

[Graham]

11st 1 1/4lb*, 38 1/2", BMI 24, WHtR 57%, Body Fat 31.3%

*weighing done at home after some coffee/tea/bike ride but the tape is truthful. For various reasons I'm very conflicted about fasting today, but so far, I am fasting. I wish I were wise. Perhaps I may yet gather a little sense.

I am lighter than last Monday, but fatter. Which is the true trend?

[Graham]

11st 0 3/4lb, 38 1/2", BMI 23.9, WHtR 57%, Body Fat 31.4%

Interesting fast - I did two hours on the allotment digging - it wasn't easy by the end, physical stamina curtailed, unsurprisingly - but present. Perhaps it explains why the monster meal at 8 still left me feeling peckish around 11, so I had a second "meal" - it would have been too sad to go to bed without it.

Trend tracking: I note I am healthy today - no sore nose or throat. (oh - wait - is there just a hint of something in there - maybe..) I am lighter than same day last week by 1/2lb, no slimmer. Exercise, meditation and most other tracked habits are in decline, but gardening, and digging in particular, are both on the increase.

[Graham]

11st 0 3/4lb*, 38 1/2, BMI 23.9, WHtR 57%, Body Fat 31.4%

* weighed at home after coffee, boiled egg and toast and a short bike ride. Not sure how much to add for all that. I have been feeling slimmer and healthier.

1:06pm I am SO hungry! Breakfast was too light, early lunch and I am STILL hungry! (boiled egg, toast, 2 mugs of coffee then 2 fried sausages, onion, apple, egg topped with cheddar cheese, raisins, cashews, toast with cilantro pesto.)

[Graham]

11st 0 1/4lb, 38 5/8", BMI 23.9, WHtR 57.2%, Body Fat 31.9%