Tobiasmom's Journey

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:48 am

Just a note to let everybody know that things have been REALLY rough here for a bit. Tobias has been in the hospital three times this week. He's continued to have vomiting/diarrhea every time he eats throughout the past month or more. He's way down in weight. It's just a really stressful time. Of course Mom hasn't taken great care of herself....the worst thing I could do. We are awaiting some test results. Doc is leaning towards Celiac disease. If so, that will be bring A LOT of changes to our household.

So I'm still around. I'm still TRYING to do No-S. I'm still not exactly DOING No-S. The good news: I'm maintaining my weight at the moment!

I'll let ya know what I find out.

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:29 am

All my prayers are with your family. It is so hard to wait for test results. I read recently that generalized worry is fleeting and comes and goes. Heavy duty worrying brings a lawn chair and cooler and camps outs. There is no escaping that kind of worry. I have been through it recently too and know what you are going through. My heart goes out to you. Please update us when you know anything.

determined · Post by **determined** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:40 am

I am so very sorry Tobias has been so sick! I'm just sitting here imagining myself in your shoes. I'm sure you'd trade places with your sweet little boy in a heartbeat.

Hugs to you both...janie

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:11 pm

My prayers are with you. My mom has celiac disease, and we as a family are accustomed to the routine. If that is what it is perhaps I can provide some information.

thtrchic · Post by **thtrchic** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:57 pm

It sounds like an incredibly difficult time. I'm hoping for the best for you and your family. Hang in there!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:36 pm

So of course we didn't get ALL the results yesterday, but we did get some. All of his stool samples (eg. h pylori and salmonella) came back negative. His stool was positive for blood. His white blood cells are a little elevated and his neutrophils are high. The celiac test is not back yet. Probably Monday. They are sending him to a pediatric GI consult. In the meantime he continues to have diarrhea all day and is still on anti-nausea meds. The journey continues.....

I am resolved to get back on the ball again, though. I cannot use this as an excuse to let my own health go. I need to be the healthiest mommy I can be for him right now!!! Today is an S day.....but it's gonna be a SANE S day for sure!!!! I would also like to get a walk in.

I have been reading some very encouraging posts on this board this morning. No-S has given A LOT of people some wonderful success (and I'm not just talking weight loss). It helps me realize I CAN do this. Everyone CAN do this!!!!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:42 pm

Way to go, woman!! I couldn't possibly agree more with all you said.
If you eat and binge, it won't help your son one bit unfortunately. Waiting for test results is really nasty, nasty business. I feel so bad for you. I can only imagine what you and your family are going through. Wish we could all be there to give you hugs and support.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:05 pm

Sorry to hear your son is so sick! I know my grandson has many intestinal issues he was diagnosed with, but over the years his parents pretty much have a handle on what works for him and what doesn't.

Hang in there,
Prayers,
deb

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:09 pm

S DAY!

So yesterday was a completely sane S day! Yay! I did snack a little, but I bought that microwave chip maker from Pampered Chef that you just slice potatoes and make chips out of. They gave me a crunch, and all it was was real potato! I also had one pina colada with dinner and a couple cookies in the afternoon. But I was never just shoving my face like I have been!!! I'm becoming mindful again of what I'm doing.

Looking forward to a successful N day tomorrow! And I'm also really hoping we get some test results tomorrow.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:05 pm

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:06 pm

Good job yesterday! I have not been to a pampered chef party for awhile. That chip maker sounds interesting.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:57 am

Hi, I ordered a couple weeks ago on-line at The Pampered Chef so seasonings and rubs.....I'll have to check out the chip maker...I love chips..well I love just about anything except liver!

Happy Monday!

determined · Post by **determined** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:18 am

Well done on a sane yellow day....that's terrific!

janie

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:52 am

S DAY!
So aside from the three sodas I had at Chili's while I waited an hour for our food.....it was another pretty sane S day. We went to Chili's after church with about 18 people.....and it just took forever!!!! But it was nice fellowship. For dinner we had steak at our neighbor's house, but it was so fatty that I ate barely half of it. That's just not my thing. I know a lot of people think the fat makes it tender, but this was like hard chewy fat. Ick. Do I sound like a whiner or what? ha. I guess I'm getting spoiled by the grassfed beef I've been buying lately...........

Looking forward to a successful N day today and a nice walk on the treadmill hopefully!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:33 am

SUCCESS!
I cannot tell you how happy I am to report a success. It's my first success in a very, very long time....but definitely not my last. I've put my head back on straight. I'm ready to give it my all. So I stuck with three meals yesterday and no sweets (which has been really, really hard for me as of late), and I walked the dog last night (finished my audiobook - Hunger Games). A neighbor invited me to Zumba so I might go Wednesday night. It would be nice to find an exercise I enjoy and do it with someone! I have been to Zumba once, and it was a lot of fun.

Tobias seems to be doing much better. No diarrhea/vomiting since Sunday! We do have a pediatric GI appt scheduled for Thursday, though. No celiac results still!

No big plans for today. Maybe some house cleaning and school. We've been really lax on homeschooling. Of course he's not even 4 yet so we have some time to play with. But I'd like to get him used to the idea of school. It's just been hard now that I'm babysitting another 4-year-old. We've just been too busy.

Have a good one!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:24 pm

I am so glad to hear Tobias is doing so much better. Hopefully that is just the beginning of the good news for him and for you.
Also, congratulations on your success. It shows that even under stress, it can be done and you demonstrated that for all of us.
Thanks and have a great day.

determined · Post by **determined** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:42 pm

Yeah!!! Green days can make everything seem better! Don't worry about school...Tobias will be fine if you don't get everything you'd planned in. I used to worry that if I didn't finish every workbook my boys would be living under a bridge selling pencils their whole lives. Trust me, happy days with you will more than make up for structured school time at this age. Just enjoy each other & he'll be more than fine.

You're doing great!!!! janie

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 12:46 pm

We finally got some answers! Celiac was negative! It's two things. The chronic stomach pain is acid reflux...which he had as a baby really bad so I don't know why I didn't think of that. That's been causing him to throw up after drinking milk or any other fatty or spicy food. And then the major diarrhea/vomiting for this past month is giardia (parasite). So he's on some meds for the next month or so, and then we will re-evaluate and make sure his tummy aches are gone. Good news!

My eating has been pretty good this week. I think I've had one fail and mostly green days. I even went to zumba the other night. So.much.fun!

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:37 pm

Oh thank goodness you don't have to deal with celeac disease.

thtrchic · Post by **thtrchic** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 3:40 pm

Sounds like great news! Glad to hear it.

Julie

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:37 pm

Great news for the little dude

And well done for keeping a mostly green week under such stressful conditions!

determined · Post by **determined** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:01 pm

SO glad to hear your sweetie will be okay....

Hugs to you...janie

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:46 pm

Glad to hear your little guy is better! Glad it's not celiac too my DD classmate has it and it is tough on the family. Funny my second DD had a similar issue though nowhere near as serious, she has mostly outgrown it.

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:54 pm

Wonderful news!! Deep breathe and thank God time. I am so happy for you and your family. Congrats to you too. Quite a feat, you know....pat yourself on the back.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:45 pm

What a weekend! Oh, my goodness. Friday was a super busy day with book club in the morning and then friends for dinner to watch the World Series. The friends are from St. Louis so of course they were overjoyed. We had an awesome brisket that I cooked for hours. So the weekend started out well...............

Saturday morning I woke up vomiting/diarrhea/stomach pain......all day and night. Horrible. I don't know if I got what Tobias had or if it was just a 24-hour thing. But I continued to feel pretty bad yesterday and am almost recovered today. A bit weak....but not much stomach pain anymore. Wowzers. What a month we've had!

I've taken today as an S day. I know I'll be having a little bit of sugar this evening. But I plan to stick with my three meals otherwise. Hoping to get back to zumba class tomorrow night....and start a fresh month tomorrow filled with success! In a weird way this illness cleaned out my body and reset me for success!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:54 pm

I'm starting fresh today. Day 1. I'm considering it a new start for No-S since I have not followed the plan for months and months now (even though I've tricked myself into believing I was). Not gonna restart a new check-in thread, though.

Starting weight on 11.02.11 is 211.8. That's actually up .4 from my first start with No-S back in March. Doesn't matter at all. Today's a fresh start.

I plan to check in daily. This first month I'm going back to basics and focusing on N days alone. Five successful N days per week, period. I will focus on cleaning up my S days and exercise and nutrition in future months. For now it's three meals without snacks, sweets, or seconds!!!!

I'll be back tomorrow to report my success!

determined · Post by **determined** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:07 pm

Go for it!! You'll do great!

janie

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:42 pm

Hi, Just stopping by, glad to hear Tobias is getting better, and you are too! Warm smiles

and ((warm hugs)) from sunny Mexico.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 12:21 pm

Day 1: SUCCESS!!

I worked hard for this one. Let me just say that the candy called my name all afternoon and evening, and I literally held the candy in my hands and talked myself back down! ha. So crazy how much of a hold sugar has on me. This first week or so is gonna be a little tough, as I've gotten in the bad habit of snacking at night again. It's more of an emotional attachment, I think. Eating some candy or something while watching "Homeland" or "Revenge"........

Anyway, I'm starving this morning so I'm gonna go eat some breakfast. One day at a time.

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 12:48 pm

Sounds like November is off to a great start. Also glad Tobias is better and so are you. You came through that ordeal like a champ. Congratulate yourself. If could have gone a whole lot different but you made a lot of incredible choices. Take the time to pat yourself on the back for that.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:48 pm

OMIGOSH tobiasmom! Just logged in after quite some absence and happened to read your recent posts and I just wanted to say I am so sorry for not writing sooner and I'm sending you all my very best wishes over to little Tobias and yourself and here's to a speedy recovery to the both of you!

Thanks for keeping us updated on the little one....glad to hear he is getting somewhat better and hope it won't be long till he's 100% again. I can imagine how stressed out you must be and I don't want to make you feel worse by writing more on the subject! Therefore just wanted to end by saying I'm sending big hugs and thinking of you both. Take care!!

Lots of love from Roxy xxx

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:29 pm

tobiasmom wrote:Day 1: SUCCESS!!

I worked hard for this one. Let me just say that the candy called my name all afternoon and evening, and I literally held the candy in my hands and talked myself back down! ha. So crazy how much of a hold sugar has on me. This first week or so is gonna be a little tough, as I've gotten in the bad habit of snacking at night again. It's more of an emotional attachment, I think. Eating some candy or something while watching "Homeland" or "Revenge"........

Anyway, I'm starving this morning so I'm gonna go eat some breakfast. One day at a time.

Congrats on the Green! I wonder if you could just get that candy out of the house! Except for what actually belongs to Tobias, give it away. Go buy some more on the weekend if you really want it. Sounds like too much of a struggle to me! Be kind to yourself.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:54 pm

Day 2: SUCCESS!

Great day yesterday. I didn't struggle with the candy as much as I did the day before. I had some oatmeal for breakfast, and I think that starts my day off great cuz I get some good fiber first thing in the morning. I had a tuna sandwich on a delicious croissant from the bakery for lunch and stuffed cabbage rolls for dinner. No exercise yet, but I'm working on my N days this month as priority, and then I'll work on exercise more.

Good news: Tobias is doing wonderful. No more sickness. I think the acid reflux meds are working......and the parasite is gone! He is back to his ornry self! ha.

Bad news: My car broke down. It won't start. My used Ford minivan has been a money pit, darn it! We've changed the battery three times this year. So it's obviously something besides the battery...a connection to it or something. So we're stuck in the house. Boring......

I'm doing a CureSearch walk tomorrow at Sea World for children's cancer. Excited about that! The weather has definitely cooled down, though. Despite the fact that I used to live in ND...I am now a HUGE wimp with cold now!

Hope everybody has a wonderful, wonderful weekend!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Nov 05, 2011 12:04 pm

Day 3: S DAY!

Sometimes I like to use Fridays and Sundays or Fridays and Saturdays as my S days. This week it will be Friday and Sunday. I have no plans today (Saturday) so it will be a regular N day. Last night we went out for burgers, and I had some soda. I also had some Halloween candy....but that's it for S day.

This morning we're headed to that Cancer Walk 5K....so I'll get a little exercise in finally. Then we'll probably relax most of the day. I have some grocery shopping to do. Hubby has worship practice tonight. That's about it.

Tobias is still doing well, but he seems to have a stuffy nose. I think it's from the weather change. He had a hard time sleeping last night......which means I had a hard time sleeping!!

Have a good weekend, all!

determined · Post by **determined** » Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:35 pm

I'm so glad to hear Tobias is doing better...well, except for the cold. Two of our kids have colds too, but that's so much better than what he was going through. I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight!

Hugs..janie

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:04 pm

Day 4: S DAY!

So it turns out that Friday and Saturday were my S days this week. So today is an N day, and I am happy about the "schedule" of three meals. I thrive on schedule...instead of throwing all caution to the wind!

The walk was really special yesterday. There were a lot of kids currently going through cancer doing the walk. It just touched my heart. I was glad to take part in raising awareness and money for a cure for these amazing children....and all the children around the world with cancer!

We went out for bbq afterwards, and it wasn't all that great. But I did have peach cobbler a la mode...which is ALWAYS good in my book. Then last night we watched the LSU game at a friend's house where I downed a large amount of chips and dip and a soda. Feeling a bit bloated this morning.

Today's Plan (planning helps me succeed!):
B: cereal, banana, black coffee
L: cabbage rolls, bread
D: grilled bbq chicken with mashed potatoes

No sweets, no seconds, no snacks.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Nov 06, 2011 11:58 pm

Day 5: SUCCESS!
B: cereal, black coffee
L: cabbage rolls, toast
D: bbq chicken, potatoes, diet cranberry juice and vodka (one drink)

Feeling good today. I'm on a mission to have a successful 21 days! I'm almost a third of the way there!

Church was awesome today. I taught the 4/5 yr old class this morning for the first time. I will be teaching for one month and then off two months. I did miss the sermon, but I'll listen online. I love this group of kids already! I've stepped out in faith to teach...and God is creating something amazing!!!

Got a nice nap in this afternoon. That's about it for today! Loving the time change!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Mon Nov 07, 2011 1:02 pm

It is so inspiring to read your posts for the last couple of weeks. I think you have turned a corner. Keep it up.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:00 am

Day 6: SUCCESS!

B: peanut butter banana sandwich, black coffee
L: turkey and cheese sandwich, chips
D: falafel, peas and carrots

Exercise: Restarted walk to run program - week 1 day 1 (run 30 sec. walk 4.5 min 7 times = 35 min)

All is well. I got back on the treadmill this evening. I want to officially do this walk to run program, and I always talk about it. So I decided to just hop on and get it done! Food is going well also. I'm getting back in the groove. Watch out, World! ha.....

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:31 pm

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:03 pm

Day 7: SUCCESS!

B: Greek yogurt with nuts, dried, fruit, and a little raw honey
L: peanut butter banana sandwich, chips
D: goldenrod eggs over toast
Exercise: zumba 30 minutes

Good day yesterday. You know what was good about it? I didn't have to think about it so much. The evening came and I realized I had painlessly made it through my three meals. I'm happy to report I am back on the No-S train full steam ahead!!! Walk to run program again tonight...but I'm super sore from the past two days' workouts so that should be fun!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:13 pm

Day 8: SUCCESS!

B: goldenrod eggs over toast (leftovers from dinner)
L: one large slice pepperoni pizza, raw carrots and ranch
D: beef stew over rice, 1 glass of juice

Exercise: Walk-to-Run Week 1, Day 2 (run 30 sec. walk 4.5 min x 8=40 minutes)

My legs are so sore. That's a GOOD thing!!!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:46 pm

Day 9: SUCCESS!

B: goldenrod eggs over toast, black coffee
L: ham and provolone sandwich, chips
D: one egg, hashbrowns, smoked sausage, one glass juice

No workout today.

Definitely getting into the groove. It feels amazing! No-S is awesome!

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:13 am

You are doing great!!
What are goldenrod eggs?

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 1:00 pm

Day 10: FAILURE!

We did a fast sundown to sundown at church. So all day was water. Then our church went to Cici's at sundown where I had salad, pizza, one soda, and a dessert. I could have just had one plate....but I didn't. I could have gone without the dessert or soda...but I didn't. Moving onward.

Sweetness: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/goldenrod-eggs/detail.aspx

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:18 pm

Eggs recipe looks good, I'll have to try it!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:55 pm

Day 11: S DAY!
Day 12: S DAY!

Saturday was a bit of out control, but I'm trying to be much more reasonable today (Sunday). Tomorrow's an N day, and I'm looking forward to it! I did do my walk-to-run program yesterday! I'm ready to move on to week 2 (run 1 minute, walk 4 minutes for 45 minutes)!!

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:35 pm

I just checked in your thread for the first time in a long time; I had no idea what you've been going through! Our stressors have been different, but we're kind of in the same part of the journey right now, aren't we? Let's both pat ourselves on the back for re-starting No S.

You sound like you are doing great getting back in the saddle with both eating and exercise. Congratulations!

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:41 am

Hope you had a good weekend and are doing OK. How is Tobias doing?
Hugs,
Patty

determined · Post by **determined** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:49 am

Good for you on the walking program!!! Well done.....

janie

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:31 pm

Glad to see you still here and still working hard. Keep going on that exercise! It really makes a difference!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:44 pm

Things are going pretty well here. It's been a bit hectic. Our minivan died. So it's been a bit stressful trying to get rides places and dropping hubby off at work so I can have the car to go to swim lessons, etc. BUT we are buying a new minivan in the next couple weeks! We're in the test driving stage right now. Looks like it's gonna be Honda Odyssey or Toyota Sienna.

I ate super bad yesterday and totally feel it today. I just feel bloated, and my tummy hurts. Why, oh, why do we do this to ourselves??

But it's a fresh new day! I'm currently making a delicious lasagna that smells divine for a Thanksgiving get-together this afternoon! Yum.

determined · Post by **determined** » Thu Nov 24, 2011 3:21 pm

I just wanted to stop by and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for such great friends who have been so supportive in this NoS journey. I'm convinced I would have given up by now without the encouragement I've received here. Thanks for all your kind words...they've meant more than I can express.

I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving...

janie

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Fri Nov 25, 2011 3:24 am

Hope your Thanksgiving was everything wonderful. I'm thankful too for my No S friends like you. Blessings!!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:53 pm

Thank you, Sweetness and Janie!!! I hope you both had a wonderful Thanksgiving too! And I hope all my other No-S friends have had a good weekend!

We had friends come for a visit, and we ate and ate and ate ALL weekend. I feel like I gained 20 pounds in four days. I know that's not possible, but the bloating is amazing! Want to know what went wrong? I didn't plan! I didn't plan to stick with my three meals. I planned to go with the flow....and that didn't end up working out for me!

So of course it's back to the grind. I WILL get through these holidays.

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:18 pm

Glad you had a nice holiday. A plan is good. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The magazines, TV, the stores, and our friends all gang up on us during the holidays. I am always glad if I simply survive them. LOL. It's good you are being honest with yourself and not condemning. Blame the media. They are blamed for everything already so one more thing won't hurt. It's Monday and we all need a fresh start. Have a good one.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:54 am

Hope your Monday was a success. I know I am starting to stress about Christmas season and all the food...should I bake? Or not bake? As if that's the whole point of the season!

I need an emoticon that slaps it's own forehead in a duh motion.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:06 pm

So I feel like I've come back here at least every week for about the past nine months saying I have not stuck with the program. I haven't actually quit....but I've barely started! The good part is for some reason this program has my allegiance...ha. The bad is that I haven't followed it for more than a week (except my first month on No-S in March)! I know this is the most sane way of eating that is going to HEAL my diet mentality and years and years of poor treatment of my body.

Today is my 12-year wedding anniversary. Life is so good for us. I have a wonderful God-honoring, country-serving best friend of a husband, an amazing 4-year-old little boy that I get to teach and learn from, the life I've always wanted.......but I'm unhealthy as ever. That makes life not as sweet as it COULD be.....as it SHOULD be! My body is not getting any younger. I need to treat it with respect. Most of my clothes don't fit. My blood pressure is up. My aches and pains are getting worse (especially sciatica). I've even had a little tightness in my chest at times (twice). All signs that my health is getting worse. I'm almost 35. I CAN and WILL turn this around. I want to be healthy and fit and feel sexy and energetic!! I will stop using food as my comfort. As I've felt this past week, it's no comfort. I hurt physically right now. My weight has shot way up...maybe 217, 220 or so.

I've always been honest with you all. This is honestly the hardest journey I've ever been on.....but I WILL achieve my goals. I will NEVER stop trying. I know it probably gets annoying to hear me week after week after week say I'm gonna do it this time and then don't do it. I get tired myself. But I will never stop. I'm human. I'm not perfect...not even close! I do have perseverance to win this race, though!!!

This is a dangerous time for me right now. The holidays are rough. But it's just food, darn it! I'm gonna start with small goals. One meal at a time.....starting NOW. This very minute. Off to get a shower and make this S day a success.....stop letting the food control me!!!

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:59 pm

Tobiasmom - I have the same problem. I'm always making grand commitments, not following through, staying away for a few days/weeks and then crawling back, because I know this makes more sense than any other eating plan.
Like you - I love my life, my girls, my job - but I'm struggling with managing it all and the one area where I allow myself to lose control is around food.
We know that No S will make a difference to us and one day it will stick with both of us. Until then - babysteps and one day at a time.
Good luck this week - let's encourage each other to have a green week

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:35 am

Tobias mom,
You can do it!! Just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. We're all pulling for you.

Snapdragon I vote for no baking. I gave it up years ago when my poor little boys were small. They're 23 and 25 now, and they still love their Mom, even though I didn't bake for them. If I had I would be well over 300 pounds now I'm sure. I could never bake cookies without eating at least 6 of them hot out of the oven. I always ate more of them than my kids did.

Instead I started my own tradition. I buy the tins of danish butter cookies, and tubes of frosting and decorate cookies. I can resist cold cookies with frosting! And my boys love them!!

gk · Post by gk » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:31 pm

tobiasmom wrote:So I feel like I've come back here at least every week for about the past nine months saying I have not stuck with the program. I haven't actually quit....but I've barely started! The good part is for some reason this program has my allegiance...ha. The bad is that I haven't followed it for more than a week (except my first month on No-S in March)! I know this is the most sane way of eating that is going to HEAL my diet mentality and years and years of poor treatment of my body.......but I'm unhealthy as ever. That makes life not as sweet as it COULD be.....as it SHOULD be! My body is not getting any younger. I need to treat it with respect. Most of my clothes don't fit......My aches and pains are getting worse (especially sciatica)......I CAN and WILL turn this around. I want to be healthy and fit and feel sexy and energetic!! I will stop using food as my comfort. As I've felt this past week, it's no comfort. I hurt physically right now. My weight has shot way up......

I've always been honest with you all. This is honestly the hardest journey I've ever been on.....but I WILL achieve my goals. I will NEVER stop trying. I know it probably gets annoying to hear me week after week after week say I'm gonna do it this time and then don't do it. I get tired myself. But I will never stop. I'm human. I'm not perfect...not even close! I do have perseverance to win this race, though!!!

This is a dangerous time for me right now. The holidays are rough. But it's just food, darn it!

Wow - could've written this myself. I don't even tell anyone "I'm starting again" anymore. But I feel, as you do, that this is the only way I will ever get over my problems with food.

Hang in there. We can do this.....it may take awhile, but we CAN do this!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:39 pm

So yesterday was technically a failure cuz I had dessert, but I'm happy to report that I had it as part of my meal with no binging or snacking the whole day, and that's huge for me right now. I've let my eating habits get so far out of control. The brownie trifle is gone now....so today should be dessert-free! ha... This is a marathon. I'm not sprinting out of the gate, but I plan to finish the race strong!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:00 pm

Sounds like many of us are in the same rut. Succeed, fail, start again. Idon'tknow hit the nail on the head, I think, when she said

Like you - I love my life, my girls, my job - but I'm struggling with managing it all and the one area where I allow myself to lose control is around food.

Many of us who struggle here are over achievers. We do too much for others and leave very little time for our own needs. Then when food temptations come along, it is something that is very enjoyable, very quick and doesn't take any more effort so we think "I deserve this." " I have been working hard all day, it isn't fair that the one little thing I want, I can't have." "I will start tomorrow for real but for right now, this is for me and I want it." We won't succeed until we realize that our needs are as important as everyone elses. I have been trying to fit meditation into my schedule for over a month and have probably actually done it about 5 times. That is pathetic.

I think we all spend a lot of time here talking to each other but the elephant in the room is never acknowledged. All of us are here to lose weight and many of us are not doing a very good job of it. In fact, I think some of the commiserating and sympathy are counterproductive. I am going to put up a challenge for all of us for the Christmas holidays (now through January 1st). I am going to post it on the general discussion page and if it works, let's find a way to continue it after the first of the year.

Sorry for using your page to vent, T'smom but your straightforward testimony on your anniversary inspired me. Thanks for the honesty.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:11 pm

Sweetness, I agree. I rarely do a ton of baking during the holidays and some years we just do crafts. I actually don't enjoy baking that much. I usually make a desert to enjoy on the weekends though.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:29 pm

So it's been a while. I'm happy to report that since leaving the boards four months ago I actually lost weight! I followed Weight Watchers and am now down to around 192 (about 25 pounds). I found out I was prediabetic and the doc wanted me to quickly get off some weight. BUT it just got OLD. Counting and tracking and.....ya, it got hard for me to stay on track. I was starting to get back to my old crazy obsessed self. This past few weeks have been super tough. And I was just starting to spiral like I ALWAYS do after I get sick of counting!

Well, it turns out that after 4 years of trying to conceive, I found out this week I am pregnant. It's a whole miracle in itself which is for another post....but I know I cannot eat my obsessed counting ways now. No-S is the perfect way for me to eat since I can choose what to eat and it will give me the little bit of control I need to have a healthy pregnancy. I have high blood pressure. I have to watch my sodium and really try to keep my weight in check so that I don't get pre-eclampsia again.

So here I am, All! I've missed you.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:35 pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! How very exciting for you!

And, Welcome Back! I've been back about a month.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:37 pm

Congrats on the pregnancy!!! Totally understanding the counting calories..I left for a few months only to gain about 15lbs more on top of what I have to lose.

I remember your screen name...everyone on the posts these days are pretty positive!

Welcome back!

determined · Post by **determined** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:55 pm

What a delight! Congratulations!!!!!!

janie

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:35 pm

Good to see you back again!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 4:14 pm

MISSED YOU TOO, TOBIASMOM!

WELCOME BACK AND MANY CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL COUNTS !!!

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:33 pm

Welcome back and congratulations on your weight loss and the baby coming. We missed you.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:13 pm

So I had some ok S days. I pretty much stuck with three meals each day, but I chose pretty bad things cuz we ate out a lot this weekend. IHOP! A burger joint! A BBQ joint! ha. Lots of eating out this weekend for some reason. Gotta watch the salt!

I'm having a breakfast play group at my house this morning so I'm looking forward to a nice variety...but just one plate! I've given up coffee. That's been rough, but I know caffeine is not great, especially for the first trimester.

I'm feeling pretty good, though. Super tired by the end of the day.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:16 pm

I did well with the three plates today....but I had some sugar with lunch AND dinner. Darn Easter junk! But I had good portions...and I'm planning to workout tonight. One step at a time!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:52 pm

I woke up this morning and ate some leftover cookies from bible study last night. The sugar is calling my name! Darn it! So tomorrow....well, even right this minute I am waiting for my next meal (dinner) and just gonna have my one plate. I've gotta stop eating that sugar!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:55 am

SUCCESS!

B: English muffin with butter, banana, skim milk
L: grilled cheese sandwich, chips
D: bbq chicken and red potatoes, corn, skim milk
Workout: Walk Away the Pounds 30 minutes

It felt so good to make it through the day a success! I totally think this will be the "secret" to healthy weight gain during pregnancy. I will eat my three plates and let my body "decide" where to go from here. I think it would be very reasonable not to gain any weight for at least the first trimester, though!

So my goal for the next 6-10 weeks is going to be working out 30 minutes a day and three plates. Sane S days....meaning one planned sweet each S day.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:21 am

Congratulations I am so happy for you!!!!

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:26 am

You can do one more green day before the weekend!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:18 pm

WELL DONE!

YOU GO, GIRL!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:46 pm

SUCCESS!

B: oatmeal with pecans, peanut butter, and a little brown sugar, milk
L: two bacon and egg breakfast tacos with beans (one plate but large)
D: Jimmy John's sandwich, chips
Workout: 30 minutes WATP

Not a healthy eating day, but I stuck with my three meals. I really wanted some dessert in the evening, but I resisted. I also didn't want to workout after my big lunch, but I just did it anyway! Felt great.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:39 pm

GREAT!

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:06 am

That's

in a row!!!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:36 am

WAY TO GO, TOBIASMOM!!

YOU ROCK!!!!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 1:21 pm

Well, the past two afternoons I've eaten a bowl of ice cream. Amazing how much I'm craving sugar right now! So my goal today is no ice cream. I'm having horrible nausea in the mornings right now....but eating a good breakfast seems to help. I'm doing well with one plate for lunch and one plate for dinner. It's just the afternoon exhaustion I need to get through. I sure do miss my coffee......

Tonight we are going to Maggiano's to celebrate hubby's promotion to Tech Sgt. One plate there may be a challenge! ha.....

Sweetness · Post by **Sweetness** » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:34 pm

On missing coffee... Have you tried different teas? I just love love love red tea, and it has no caffeine. Celestial Seasons makes a red tea called "sweet coconut TAI Chai" I'm really looking forward to getting some when I get back to the states next week.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:29 pm

Hope the nausea eases up soon for you!! Congrats to hubby on making tech. My hubby is retired Air Force.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:56 pm

Oh, Sweetness, that red tea sounds AMAZING! I will definitely look for that this week! And, ZippaDee, thanks!!

I wish I could say I got the sweet thing taken care of last week, but it didn't happen. I've just been throwing caution to the wind this past week! Yikes. It's just not good for me at all. So back to the basics this morning. It's just hard because I convince myself I need a snack to help the nausea, but it doesn't really help anyway. So I will just stick to it, period! Gonna get some walking in too. I'm only 8 weeks preggo. I've gotta establish some good habits in these early weeks for sure!!!

Everyday Systems

Tobiasmom's Journey

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