Pangelsue's check in (back to try again)

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Pangelsue's check in (back to try again)

Post by Pangelsue2 » Mon May 09, 2011 4:36 am

I was here successfully about 4 or 5 years ago. I needed to lose about 40 pounds at that time. I loved the diet and was a member of the 21 day club. I thought I had changed my eating habits forever. I hadn't. After I reached the 21 day mark, I had lost 8 pounds and was happy with my progress. Then for some reason, I started having more and more failure days. I also started messing with the diet. Not a good idea in retrospect. I was a master of excuses and I was constantly looking for reasons to fail.

I am back to try again. I now need to lose about 60 pounds but will be happy with at least 20. I am shooting for fewer excuses and more focus this time. I have been giving up on myself for a very long time and my greatest obstacle will be my lack of trust in my own resolve. I have, at one time or another owned every diet book on the planet. I bought e books and joined groups. I gained a little weight with each failed plan. Wish me luck although luck really has nothing to do with it.
I'm baaaack.

Who Me?
Posts: 969
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:18 pm

Post by Who Me? » Mon May 09, 2011 4:46 am

Trust yourself, and you'll do great!

SkyKitty
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:28 pm
Location: Isle of Man

Post by SkyKitty » Mon May 09, 2011 12:04 pm

Good luck.

:lol:
When nothing goes right...go left.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Day 1 Success

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue May 10, 2011 12:04 pm

Thanks for the greetings and well wishes. I did OK yesterday. Not snacking was harder than I thought but that's my biggest issue so that was to be expected. On to day 2.
I'm baaaack.

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Tue May 10, 2011 12:33 pm

Welcome back! :)

tobiasmom
Posts: 1384
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:08 pm
Location: Texas

hey

Post by tobiasmom » Tue May 10, 2011 7:26 pm

Welcome back!

Who Me?
Posts: 969
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:18 pm

Post by Who Me? » Tue May 10, 2011 9:01 pm

Nice to "meet" you!

r.jean
Posts: 1653
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:47 pm
Location: Midwest

Post by r.jean » Tue May 10, 2011 10:52 pm

Glad you found your way back. Best of luck!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Tue May 10, 2011 11:29 pm

Welcome back! Progress not perfection right? I am right there with you on the back again wagon. Lets stick together and make these habits stick! :D
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Jan in Georgia
Posts: 26
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 2:45 am
Location: Georgia

Post by Jan in Georgia » Tue May 10, 2011 11:36 pm

Hi! I am new to the plan and just started this week. I think it is great that you have decided what works for you and are giving it a new shot!

I haven't tried No S before, but I have definitely spent most of my life on some sort of "diet" or another. I am hoping that this will be the answer for me.

Best of luck!

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Thank you all for the warm reception

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed May 11, 2011 1:00 pm

I really appreciate all the welcome messages. I am starting to remember the warmth that kept me here before and brought me back again.

Day 2 was a success too.
Breakfast- raisin bran, half a banana and a piece of whole grain toast
Lunch- leftover pork chili and rice
Supper- My husband's wonderful Thai curry chicken. Yum. It is delicious but did not keep me full for very long. Had a long night of cravings but made it. Yah!

I am not normally a complainer so I will only this once launch into the story that brought me back here. It hopefully will help me put in perspective why I feel so out of control with my nervous eating right now. I retired last June and I was looking forward to great times. The first couple of months were good but then I was working in the garden and thought my back went out. It was actually a ruptured disc and the next couple of months I was in a lot of pain. I was just getting over that when I had a recurrence of BPPV (super fall down dizziness which only lasts several days but is followed in my case by months of very debilitating imbalance.) I am still having therapy for that although it is now 3 months in and about 75% better. That would have been enough but several months ago, my daughter (only child) started having massive panics attacks again and started seeing a therapist. They decided she needed to get out of her very dead end job and create a future for herself that she would feel better about. So, she gave up a 10 year job (with 4 weeks vacation but no benefits) to take a job with the county. It would finally have afforded her benefits and several dollars more an hour in wages. Well, we live in Wisconsin and anyone who watches the news knows what is going on with county and state jobs in Wisconsin. The day she started her new job, her boss told her they should never have hired her because her job was already one of those terminated. They tried for a couple of weeks to squeeze her in somewhere else but after only 4 weeks working there, they let her go. She was a wreck the whole time and would call me up to help her hold her act together. The same day she was down sized, her car started jerking and her dad thinks it may be the transmission. She told me recently that everything she feared would happen if she changed jobs, has happened. Then it looked like she wouldn't be eligible for unemployment because she had only worked for them such a short time. She has enough money to last about a minute without a job. I am a person who tells myself I have to fix life for everyone in pain so I have been in overdrive for several weeks now. Yesterday, she found out she will be getting unemployment so the direst outcomes have been dodged for now. She is also taking her car in to a friend of ours today to see if the problem is really the transmission. So I am taking this respite to tend to my needs. I feel like I haven't taken a deep breath since retiring and unfortunately for me, that often turns into mindless snacking and ice cream psychotherapy.
Long story longer, I am here to fix that. I need to separate myself from my daughter's problems. Be there but not BE her. I also need to separate myself from my own recent fears for my own mortality. It was seeming like a pretty grim future for me there for a while. Still on the mend mentally and physically but also still here and still kicking.

So with all of that out there, I intend to move on and get myself in a more positive, healthy mind set and move onward (quite possibly with a glass of Pinot in my hand).
I'm baaaack.

Who Me?
Posts: 969
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:18 pm

Post by Who Me? » Wed May 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Wow that's a lot to deal with.

Maybe you can think about No S as a way of taking care of yourself, and as something you *can* have control over.

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Wed May 11, 2011 2:58 pm

I agree with Who Me?. There is no way you can take care of others if you have not first taken care of yourself. You sound like a very caring Mother and as a daughter myself, what I need most is an ear to listen to me with unconditional support and arms to hug me.

You are very important to your family, so take care of you! :lol:

With that being said, this is a great place to vent, find support and be inspired.
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Wed May 11, 2011 11:48 pm

Oh my! Hang on tight! Post ,post,post..get our thoughts and reread what you wrote the next day. (I always find insight when I reread what I wrote.) How we moms like to think we can "make it all OK" no matter how old our kids!! How easy it would be to turn to food for comfort..DON'T do it! Write several times a day..you know you will find support here. Do something nice for yourself and don't feel guilty about it.. manicure? massage? walk in the woods? Don't give all of yourself away! We care!
Last edited by Grammy G on Thu May 12, 2011 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Who Me?
Posts: 969
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:18 pm

Post by Who Me? » Thu May 12, 2011 12:18 am

Well, yeah you *can* be supportive of other people, and ignore your own needs. But you eventually drain the well dry.

When my partner broke his back and was paralyzed, I put EVERYTHING on hold, because I had to. I'm still trying to find ways to give myself permission to take care of myself.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Thanks for the support

Post by Pangelsue2 » Thu May 12, 2011 3:37 am

How wonderful it was to read all of your kind words and excellent advise. I intend to follow it all. It already feels so much better to have expressed it all. It makes it seem more finite somehow. All things have a beginning middle and end and thus nothing good or bad lasts forever. And yes, I think the well was going dry.

Today was a good day. Another success. Yah!! Day 3.
Breakfast- egg, ww toast, 1 strip of bacon and half a grapefruit
Lunch- half a sweet potato, some broccoli and 2 oz of leftover chicken
Supper- fish (very good with almonds and browned butter, oven fries and cauliflower. I also had a little glass of wine

My husband and I are starting a little retirement business making organic hummus. We see a business plan person tomorrow and we spent a lovely night dreaming of the fun we will have making and selling the hummus. They are his recipes and each one is tastier than the one before. This is something we wanted to do for a long time and just never took the time.
Very nice night talking and dreaming.

Thanks again for all your help and support.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Day 4 failure

Post by Pangelsue2 » Fri May 13, 2011 11:42 am

Today was not so much a failure as a crazy day where regular meals were not possible. We tried to do too much in one day and got stretched out past supper time. We ate a quick burger between lunch and supper because we have to be to a meeting that would take us way past supper. Then when we got home, if was 9 ish and we were hungry so we did some snacking. I am counting it but not feeling at all bad about it. I think the calories were still in line.
Today should be quieter and I will try to stay vanilla.
I'm baaaack.

User avatar
gratefuldeb67
Posts: 6201
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
Location: NY

Post by gratefuldeb67 » Fri May 13, 2011 12:28 pm

welcome back sue! i remember you :)
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

SkyKitty
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:28 pm
Location: Isle of Man

Post by SkyKitty » Fri May 13, 2011 1:01 pm

Sometimes life does have this annoying habit of getting in the way :D

I'm still quite new at No S but that sort of day would have been every single day to me pre No-S, what a positive change for it to even be only occasionally when it's unavoidable instead of a chaotic eating pattern every day.
When nothing goes right...go left.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Fri May 13, 2011 1:20 pm

I think this is one of the hardest thing for those of us who are retired and still active...days can end up being crazy busy..plans can change in a second and the planned casserole will not be eaten until tomorrow..maybe! AAhhh..the wonderful freedom of it all :D !! AAAhhh..the easy-to-go-astray freedom of it all :wink: !! I have been retired almost 10 years and am beginning to think I am just going to have to "roll with each day as it comes" and just do the best I can.."mark it and move in! (I'm a slow learner, apparently) Good luck with your ventures. This sounds like an exciting time for you and I think Hummus is such an up-and-coming food that main stream America is just discovering!
I have seen the talk show foodies talk about using hummus instead of mayo on sandwiches/in deviled eggs/as vegggie dips (of course)/and as the "glue' to keep a wrapped sandwich wrapped. I would bet the sales of hummus has gone up in the last 6 months. My youngest granddaughter loves hummus..but has a tree nut allergy and (often related) a sensitivity to sesame seeds. Her mom has found one brand of tahinni to use that she doesn't react to... that may be an additional market! Those individual serving sized packets are wonderful for packed lunches. I know you could put the hummus into a little container but, when packing at the last minute (like walking out the door and not sure when you will return..grab a hummus, some veggies, a whole wheat tortilla)....or..kid's lunches. MMM..I love hummus too.. especially roasted red pepper with a drizzle of really good olive oil...I need some NOW!! :twisted: But I will wait 'til lunch! :lol: maybe
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Who Me?
Posts: 969
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:18 pm

Post by Who Me? » Fri May 13, 2011 2:24 pm

I think it helps, on crazy days, to keep track of portions. If you're nit eating a single discreet meal, are you eating *more* than a meal? Or does the food, eaten on the run, still fill a normal-sized plate?

What's with us, as a society? We're so stinkin' busy that we don't take time for meals.

That's not meant as a critique of your choices, by the way. Just to note that in countries like France, businesses SHUT THE DOORS and CLOSE UP SHOP do that everyone can have lunch. There's precious little snarfing down fast food, while working in front of the computer.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sat May 14, 2011 12:41 pm

Yesterday was a success. Some unexpected drama with my daughter but I decided it had nothing to do with what I ate and stayed vanilla all day. Made the day a lot better at the end of it. Eating a lot of junk would have only made the day worse. I liked my decision to leave food out of the equation.
I lived a year in Germany WHO, and I couldn't agree more that Europeans know more about taking care of themselves than Americans do. We are really overly goal oriented and we see inactivity as wasteful and something to apologize for. I remember the first day I went shopping there around 1 PM. I was very frustrated that the stores were all closed until 2 PM. Interestingly, I have heard from friends that since then (30 years ago), the stores stay open all day now and that many of the large department stores are replacing the wonderful little bakeries, flower shops and meat stores. That is a real loss. Artisan businesses are on the rise though and that is a very good thing.
I'm baaaack.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Sun May 15, 2011 5:19 pm

Food for thought from Who& Sue..luckily no calories involved! How true..we do need to make meals a priority in this country! We have lost that renewal provided by a simple bowl of soup eaten in a peaceful setting..no TV..no phones..no rush to get to the next appointment. I'm going to have to think about this a bit. I may be one of those who has fallen into the "grab and run trap" and I need to plan my escape! :shock:
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue May 17, 2011 11:58 am

I hear you on the eating to TV thing especially. My husband and I got in the habit many years ago. After a hard day at work, it was so nice to sit in a comfortable chair and watch a little mindless TV and eat. I still like it but many seem to think it would be better to just mindfully eat. I too will have to give it more thought.
My S days were not too bad. I have had worse. I went a little nuts on sweets but the rest of my meals were OK. Opened a jar a dry roasted peanuts though and that was a mistake. My husband calls me the "peanut princess" and he is correct. An open jar is an empty jar. Had too many of those.

Monday was a success.
Breakfast- bagel with peanut butter (again with the peanut princess) and jelly and coffee
Lunch- delicious red pear, 2 oz of cheese and some hummus with chips
Supper- Fish, sweet potato oven fries and broccoli

Today my daughter is coming over to help me get ready for our last rummage sale ever. We are getting rid of a lot of stuff and paring down our small house to a manageable amount of possessions. We will be sorting closets and cupboards and the attic. I look forward to result but not the process.
I'm baaaack.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Tue May 17, 2011 12:55 pm

AAhhh...the dinner hour! I find I eat less when the table is set and free of anything but the food (no stacks of unread magazines..unread mail..etc. that manage to find their way to the dining room table.) I have the Tv off and soothing music on. That is all great, but it is not my hubby's idea of the perfect dinner..he does well in, what I consider, chaos! so, we have "my" kind of dinners when I really need them and his kind when I can handle it. Seems to be working.
I was just thinking about down-sizing too! we have so much stuff. My only problem is that I don't want the kids "helping"..I tried that once before and they decided i should just keep all the "collections" that I inherited from parents and grandparents. I've done that for several years now and I think I'm done. I am no longer emotionally dependent on these things and don't want to display them..or store them! E-Bay here I come!
Our neighborhood homeowners' association has brought in huge dumpsters for two years. They set them up in a vacant lot for a few days and anyone can dump anything. they also sponsor a garage sale for all residents before the dumpsters appear. I think that will be my 1st goal..get things into the sale and the dumpsters and talk to the kids about deciding what they want before I sell anything. Thank you for bringing up this topic! I am now fired up about gathering junk! Let's see how we both do on this project!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Mon May 23, 2011 5:13 pm

Thanks for the posts everyone. Grammy, you won't be sorry if you down size. I already love my leaner cleaner house. I can find everything and there is ample room for all my stuff so I am not sorting through closets and drawers, knocking stuff over etc. I go to the closet and there is the item I am looking for, right there. Love it. I love your post about not needing the emotional support of items that belonged to loved ones anymore. When my parents and in-laws passed away, I took so much stuff because it reminded of them and the good times we had through the years. In my clean up phase last week, I debated each item and as soon as I put it aside to sell, I realized, I didn't need it anymore.

Now for the starting over news. My birthday was last week and we had lots of company off and on throughout the week. I need strategies for times like those from you seasoned veterans. I have had a string of failures since my last posting and sort of gave up the middle of last week. We were having meals early, late, snacks here and "try my new recipe" there. I weighed in this morning and actually lost .2 lbs which was a total surprise and a nice one. But it was sheer coincidence and I didn't like the loss of control last week at all. I was people pleasing and giving in for any reason at all (sometimes to please them, sometimes to please myself). So today I am starting over and hopefully with ideas from some of you, I can develop a strategy for times when life gets chaotic.
I WILL be back tomorrow with a success today.
I'm baaaack.

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Tue May 24, 2011 2:55 am

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!! Your post was so encouraging. I have been dealing with a lot of issues lately BUT it really helps that I am staying on track with my eating. I am not sure if I have lost any weight but the fact that I am not stuffing my feelings and totally bingeing is so HUGE for me.

So an update on my son: He had another hard day at school and the Staff gave him an option to only go to school for 5th & 6th period (math & science). There is only 3 weeks of school left and they feel this will help him end on a good note. We'll see. And, I got a job today so that was good. Plus with Jett only going 2 hours a day, I wont be so stressed out about him and school. Other than that, all is well.

I can totally understand how you feel about your daughter. Some of us just have the need to take care of those we love. So much so, our boundaries get blurry. But I know for sure that we cannot take care of someone else, unless we take care of ourselves first. It's not selfish, it's smart. So lets encourage each other to say pay attention to our needs, and to be nice to ourselves. Even if it's just in small ways.

I know you will do great, just stick with it and don't beat yourself up when you fall. Just get back up and keeping moving forward. :)

Day at a time,
Karen
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue May 24, 2011 12:27 pm

Great advise and I am certainly going to take it to heart.

Yesterday was a success. It felt good getting back on track. We are having a couple over for dinner tonight and will be setting up a rummage sale for Friday on Thursday with my sister and daughter. My sister is a huge snacker and I will have to be focused and good to myself. I can do this and then our schedule should mellow out for a while....I think.
I'm baaaack.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Tue May 24, 2011 5:02 pm

I sure understand what you are facing! I have told some friends that I am trying not to snack and they "get it" while others feel it is necessary to just offer more tempting treats!
I think I am going to be keep my floating S days that I am giving a try this month. With the flexible life we retirees lead, it seems to fill the bill! You might want to try it too. The first week, I actually scheduled the S days at the beginning of the week. The next week, I decided to just let them "show up" and that seems to be working... If I use them at the beginning of the week, then I am simply out of S days. Yesterday, a friend showed up with warm rhubarb cake. I resisted it for awhile and then decided it was worthy of an S day splurge.. and I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed every bite and froze the rest. One unplanned but counted S day down..one left to have as I want. I like this freedom! Good luck with your upcoming challenges!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed May 25, 2011 6:47 pm

Made a good Tuesday and so far through lunch, a good Wednesday. I went out to Appleby's with 3 girlfriends and we had a good chat and all 4 of us ordered salads. It was good, filling and it feels very rewarding to have stayed on plan.
Last night we had a nice supper with the couple who came to visit. My daughter came too and she was having a rough night again. Panic attacks and migraine. Normally, that would have sent me into a tail spin but we talked til late and I stayed vanilla. The supper was possibly a little large but just by a bit. All in all, I was happy with my choices. Yay :)
I'm baaaack.

Strawberry Roan
Posts: 1208
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm

Post by Strawberry Roan » Wed May 25, 2011 10:35 pm

Sounds like you are doing great, very motivated. Just tell yourself that you are going to be a strong, vital, healthy person who enjoys good food. Take one meal at a time, if you have a set-back, brush it off and move on. Don't worry about losing a lot of weight at once, heck a pound a week is 52 pounds a year - a year will pass whether you do anything so you might as well be losing a pound a week, huh?


:wink:
Berry

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Thu May 26, 2011 12:00 pm

Good thoughts.
Yesterday ended very vanilla and happy.
I'm baaaack.

Strawberry Roan
Posts: 1208
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm

Post by Strawberry Roan » Thu May 26, 2011 2:29 pm

:wink:
Berry

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue May 31, 2011 12:43 pm

Had a very busy but great weekend. Our rummage sale went fine and we made a little money too. Did tons of walking, lifting talking and everything else that goes along with a rummage sale. My sister was here helping me and selling some of her own stuff on Friday so I turned that into an S day and made Sunday a No S day instead. Worked out fine. Saturday was rummage sale until noon and then we went to friends for supper. I did quite well all in all but sort of over ate on dessert. They served a large portion and I was going to eat only part of it but ate the whole thing. Felt like Grammy/Who's slug after that. Why do we do it when it makes us feel bad!!!
Sunday and Monday were vanilla and healthy. After a weekend of hamburgers, fries, desserts, the extra vegetables tasted wonderful. I made a No potato potato salad yesterday that was actually quite good. It was made with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and peas (all cooked to tenderness) and then mixed with boiled eggs, celery, onions and dressing like regular potato salad. Yum.
On to Tuesday. Hope everyone had a good weekend.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:29 am

Made it through shakily today. We have to stop having weird scheduled days. I made supper and snacked on a little hummus as a starter for supper. Then my husband says he will eat later after he drops something off at someone's house. Says it will only take a minute. So I told him I would wait and made a "quick" call to a friend. Well, a half hour later I ate supper. I am counting it as vanilla because I was thinking we'd be eating any minute when I ate the hummus. I can live with that.
I'm baaaack.

User avatar
NoSRocks
Posts: 1137
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:51 am

Post by NoSRocks » Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:06 am

Hi Pangelsue!! Just popping in to say welcome back and how much I enjoyed reading your posts. Also all the very best to you with your prospective organic hummus business!!! Very exciting indeed! As others' have said, you do indeed come across as a very kind and caring person and I hope all is well with your family now. As with your daughter's car, my car is also a bit 'jerky' at times and I am also thinking its the transmission... have been putting off going to a garage to get it seen to and just putting up with the 'bucking bronco' :lol: :lol:

All the very best to you and welcome back to the No S plan. Sounds like you are doing great!!!!
No S-er since December 2009
Streamlined S Days: 6/25/12
SW: 170 /CW: 127
Weight loss to date: 43 lbs

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:04 pm

You are doing REALLY WELL, in spite of the constant stressors. I think it truly helps to stay in control even though, when we are stressed out our mind tells us to get "out of control" with our eating. As if that makes us feel any better!!??? Anyway, just wanted to say Hi, and encourage you. Have a great HUMP DAY.

Karen
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:57 pm

Here's the bad news: your days are probably gonna continue to be wacky.. it will be hard to plan meals as you did when you were both working..That is also the good news! Now you can have a large, relaxed breakfast whenever you feel like it and eat cereal for dinner if you are in the mood. In my case, hubby and I seldom eat breakfast or lunch together unless I am making pancakes or eggs or some such thing or we are going out for that meal. We try to keep dinner at 5:30-6:00..if that doesn't work..there's always the choice of picking up something or eating a sandwich, soup, cereal..whatever. So far, neither of us appears to be starving! :wink:
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:08 pm

Boy, are you right about that one, Grammy. Yesterday was another crazy day. No wonder they have stopped picturing retired people as sitting, rocking and knitting. This generation of seniors don't know the meaning of the word sit. We are having a perennial plant sale at our house this year. Our yard has about 2 square feet of grass and the rest is landscaped and planted. We always just threw out the plants we thinned out of the garden and we decided this year to try selling them. I am not very good at doing a lot of bending over so our daughter who is out of work came over to help and earn a few bucks. After two days of helping she said she needed a day to rest up. I guess we wore her out. LOL. Actually, my husband has back issues this morning and my feet already are killing me but we're committed to finishing now so we will forge ahead. He will love talking gardening all day.
Yesterday's meals were hurried but I stayed vanilla. Happy about that. So far breakfast today was also healthy and vanilla.
Time to open the plant store. Bye!
I'm baaaack.

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:57 pm

Boy, I wish I lived close to you! I'd come to your plant sale, and learn all I could from you!

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:55 am

Plant sale went really well. We made around $500. Hope we do the same tomorrow.
Today was a good day. Too much salt but otherwise healthy and vanilla.

I had some thoughts tonight about when I obsess about food. All of us have our reasons for failing. Mine are mostly connected to my "inner child" who just insists on saying "I want this right now", "I don't want to diet", "why do I have to diet?", "this sucks" "why can't I eat whatever I want whenever I want to?" and many other whiny irritating things like that. Those thoughts go around and around in my head when I am supposedly hungry. It is like a child saying "are we there yet" until the adult finally gives in. Does that mean my adult is a lousy parent who spoils the child?? LOL. Seriously though, sometimes it helps to ask myself what my gerbil wheel thoughts are when I am supposedly hungry. Food is really good but it does not force it's way into my mouth. I am going to try hard to replace those gerbil wheel thoughts with healthier ones. It is my thoughts about food that are the problem, not the food. On this diet, I can have any food I want as long as I control when and how much. With practice, I can do that.
I'm baaaack.

snapdragon
Posts: 701
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:43 pm
Location: midwest

Post by snapdragon » Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:08 am

Oh I relate to the inner child in my case I need to find my inner adult!!!!!
Starting weight 185
Healthy BMI 139
Willingness without action is fantasy

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:19 pm

I too have slowly come to the realization that this food thing is such a head-game.. and has little to do with food! I have really been trying to analyze my thoughts about food and what it truly means to me besides fuel.
A "shrink" once said to me (I was going through a divorce at the time)," I don't know what you think you ever did that you need to punish yourself, but you need to stop it and move on." (He wanted me o-u-t of that marriage ASAP) Now I'm wondering if I am doing the same thing to myself with food.. I haven't put this together totally in my head but that conversation with the doc comes back to me every so often when I'm reflecting on my relationship with food. mmm :shock: Anything here that might help you??
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

User avatar
gratefuldeb67
Posts: 6201
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
Location: NY

Post by gratefuldeb67 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:21 pm

good luck taming your inner child today :)
maybe when you start getting those messages, you should talk back to your "child" and tell it, "i know how much you want that treat, but it's not an S day. you can have whatever you like then" and give yourself something to look forward to... maybe even plan a play date with your inner child and have a party haha :) anything that helps you say "no" when you're having those moments, is great.
i used to like to say stuff to myself in the supermarket when i was tempted during the week.. i often would just use the mantra that reinhard created "you're pre disapproved" lol and just sometimes saying "No! It's not an S day" and then running in another direction from the cookies :D
btw, i have just about the same amount of weight to lose as you mentioned you wanted to lose, and i know how daunting that amount seems like.. i too feel i will be happy if i lose 20 to begin with. if you want to be "buddies" i'm more than happy to be yours. feel free to vent on my thread if you ever need a pep talk. i may have to do the same sometime! :wink:
have a great week Sue :)
Deb
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:26 pm

Definitely. I have always had self esteem issues and no matter how nice people are to me, I always feel unworthy somehow. I am lots better than I used to be at accepting compliments, favors and praise but it still makes me feel uncomfortable instead of happy. Definitely worth some thought.

The weekend was very good and not a lot of excess. I was hungry all week for a raspberry sundae but I didn't want that many calories added to my meal so I had it instead of the meal. It showed me 2 things. The sundae wasn't as good as I had pictured all week long and I shouldn't replace a meal with a sundae. All afternoon we were in greenhouses and food wasn't readily available so I was starving by suppertime. It was a lovely weekend here though. The weather was perfect and lovely.

Then yesterday happened. Gained a pound after a very on plan week. Only a pound but still. And also, woke up with the dizzies way worse than usual again. Every Sunday I have to do these exercises to relocate the crystals in my inner ear. Sometimes the exercise makes me feel lots better and I am glad I did them and sometimes, they just shake the crystals up and I feel really off balance for a couple of days. Yesterday was a staggery day like I hadn't had for 6 months. I had forgotten how awful they are. I was depressed and scared the whole thing would come back. BPPV sucks. Anyway, I tried to ignore it, watch movies and take a slow day but felt awful anyway. Looking at the TV or reading made the dizziness more apparent. I did good on No S until after supper. Then I had a good cry and followed it with some "poor me" snacks. Just an additional third helping of supper and a scoop of ice cream. Only good thing is I stopped way before I normally would have. So with that happy decision cheering me on, I am facing today feeling somewhat better. I am looking forward to the rest of the week going uphill??? Either way, I am determined that food doesn't have to enter into the mix. It will only make me feel worse, not better.
I'm baaaack.

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:27 pm

I tell ya, it's that inner dialog that kills us. We can talk ourselves in and out of anything, and usually, to our detriment. Those are some good conclusions you are coming to though. Maybe we are all finally becoming adults..... :)
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:03 pm

So sorry about the inner ear thing... but you were smart to recognize that food wouldn't fix it, or really make you feel better. Is there something else that you can do for comfort when the "poor me's" strike?

If your inner child is regularly throwing tantrums and wanting things, then she's probably trying to tell you that there's something she genuinely needs. I sometimes I imagine mine as an unhappy kid (about 8-10... old enough to be reasonable mostly, but still capable of a doozy of a tantrum). Then I gently ask "what's wrong, honey?" (yes, "honey" - in the same tone that you'd use to a crying child). And then listen.... it's amazing what comes up sometimes.

IMHO, comfort eating is generally a misguided attempt at self-nurture. Enlarging the repertoire of self-nurture (flowers, candles, books, time/materials for a hobby, etc.) helps. So, a remarkably successful weight-loss strategy is to think about what brings you pleasure, and try to put more of it in your life so you don't turn to food as often.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:58 pm

FYI: the Consumer Report we just rec'd has a section on hummus. Haven't had a chance to read it yet but did think of you... :wink:
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:38 pm

Thank you all for the comforting and inspiring words and ideas. I like the idea of having a talk with my inner child and also having a weekend party with that child. I am also just starting to look for ideas for things that make me happy other than food. I know now I need to stop the OCD thinking about food and put it in the proper place on my priority list. It has held one of the main positions for too long.
All of you help tremendously with resolving these thoughts in my mind. I felt for a long time like it is too late to do anything about how I look and feel and I am finding out from some of you who are in my age range, that is not the case. Thank you all for that perspective adjustment as well.
From others of you, I am finding out that the time I expend on my daughter and her many issues and making sure my wonderful husband has all he needs, is often times leaving me feeling deprived. Thanks for those thoughts too.
All of this is slowly leading me to a place I can call my own eating plan that really really works....for me. This is what I have so far:

1) Because I already obsess about food, I decided this time around not to list my meals. Felt too much like counting to me. Same with Habitcal. (I think Reinhard actually got the idea for Habitcal originally from me because I was always making calendars the first time I was here. He told me he had been thinking about setting something up like that.) Works for many. For me it is just one more anal retentive behavior in my life and allowed me to spend way too much time obsessing about my favorite subject.

2) Last time, messing with the plan all the time was the slippery slope that led to cheating for me but this time I will incorporate 2 adjustments.

A) Grammy has helped me decide that I will chose two S days a week but I will decide which days they will be. Our Sundays are usually laid back and boring but we often go shopping and out to eat on Fridays or during the week. Thanks, Grammy.

B) Temporarily, I am adding an ounce of good chocolate at the end of each success day. It is good for me and on a good day (especially a day that was hard), it is something to look forward to. I am hoping this will squash the sweet treat thoughts that plague my days. I hope to eventually eliminate it but for right now, I hope it will have the advantage to break the OCD thinking about sweets. I can think "you have a treat coming if you stay on plan all day. So be quiet."

3) I will change the focus by thinking less about what I eat and more about what I need or what is lacking in my life and try to fix that. Physically, I have lost a lot in the last 10 years or so. Much of it, I can't get back. That is very depressing because they were things I used to do that brought me great pleasure. The dizziness I have had for years (3 bouts about 3 years apart) has taken over a lot of my life. Because of constant balance issues, it took away walking, biking, gardening, needlework and dancing. It has also made sleeping very difficult. I am not mentioning these things to garner pity but because I have been telling myself with each loss that it is OK and I can and will have to just live with it. It is NOT ok and I need to learn what I can do to replace or adapt those hobbies to my new reality. Just like a person with any other sort of disability. I need to replace those things with other pleasant things. I will have to start looking for those things.


Wow, I didn't think I was going here today but here I am. I have all of you to thank for it.
MANY, MANY THANKS> I will screw up but I will throw it off and move on.
I'm baaaack.

User avatar
gratefuldeb67
Posts: 6201
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
Location: NY

Post by gratefuldeb67 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:50 pm

great post and it sounds like a good plan to me sue!!
have a nice week :)
debs
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:35 pm

Yay, Sue2!

I love this:
I will screw up but I will throw it off and move on.
I think that describes the "human condition" quite accurately. We all screw up... "balance" is a constant shifting, not a stable point... and we just correct and re-group and keep going...

If there is a "mind-body center" near you, you might look into that. There's one in our town, and they offer "alternative" therapies (even though ours is affiliated with a hospital, and endorsed by its doctors). They tend to look at long-term conditions, and how to alleviate suffering from them. Pain management, meditation, yoga for "unbendable people", things like that. The one here has a very good reputation for effectiveness. Yes, stuff happens, but we can sometimes mitigate it a bit... (Apologies if you've already explored all avenues!)

Hang in there, and look for ways to nourish your spirit as much as your body! :)

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:18 pm

I just left a post on Deb's thread that I could rewrite here... and now that I think about it, on several other threads as well. I pointed out that this site is not simply about eating.. we (if we choose to share) are gaining valuable insights into our lives.. something we need at any age.
I do know of two people with the same inner ear issue and it is something that is so hard to deal with. I like the fact you are going to search for other outlets.. good for you..who knows what you might discover!
I think the honesty of your post will strike a chord with many of your readers..it did me...
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:49 pm

Yay for you!!! All that insight is so good. I think, as we get older, it almost seems to be harder to take long hard looks at ourselves. To be conscious of our downfalls, BUT not dwell on them. I think the steps you are taking are STRONG ones.

I was looking through my garage yesterday and found a bunch of my old art supplies and writing that I "used" to do. My son was like, wow you are really talented. And I remembered that I really loved to do that and I should make time for myself to be creative, even if it's just 5 minutes a day.

I think your MODS are great! I agree with you about writing down what you eat. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. Just depends on how I feel. Even tracking my exercise starts to feel like a "Have to", but at the same time, exercise does make me feel good. Anyway, just wanted to stop by and tell you how much I appreciated your post. Great stuff.
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:37 pm

You guys are lifesavers. Such good advise and wonderful support. KCCC, I will check out the mind body centers around here and if I can't find one, I will check the internet. Good idea.
Grammy, as always, I get good advise on how to be happy where I am and make what progress is available to me.
Stubby, awesome advise about exploring new avenues. I remember my mother started painting when she was in her seventies. She was not very good but she loved it. I used to write and I was not wonderful either but I got lost in it when I wrote.

My plan has worked fine so far. Best idea was to not be constantly working on "the plan". I was obsessing again. I needed to get my mind somewhere else. I remember a Johnny Carson show once when one of the guests was Tony Randall. One of the other guests was talking about sex and about how it was the most important thing in life. Tony Randall gave him a scornful look and said "Obviously, you have never been to the opera." We should never focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else. Moderation in all things.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 8:21 pm

I have one more thing I am adding to my plan. I will no longer have failures. From now on they are temporary setbacks. I think it will be easier to live with for me. I hate the word failure. Sounds too final and self abusive. Setback sounds like forward momentum is still the main action plan. Setback sounds more temporary. I feel like the word failure has ended every diet I ever tried. It is a very personal and self-deprecating word. I'm sick of it. No more failures. Setbacks. I swear the angels just sang. I like this decision.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:12 pm

Weekend was a setback. I will list the foods only because I want to list why I ate each one and try to counter the reasoning with sanity.

Saturday:
Chocolate mid morning
Reason: Was nervous. We were hosting a photography class for the Master Gardeners at our house. My brother was teaching the class. It was supposed to be outside but it was raining so we had to crowd the group into our small house.
Thought for next time: The chocolate, didn't help my nervousness, the size of my house or the rain. Everyone had a good time and the class was a success.

Pie for after class:
Reason: this would have been an acceptable S day treat except I had another half piece after the class. I think it was because everyone could crouch down and tilt their heads around to take pictures except me because of the stupid balance issue.
Thought for next time: Did the pie help the sadness or the dizziness? Obviously not. It is ok to feel sad sometimes.

Large lunch at a salad bar place: Husband wanted to go out for burgers after the class. I wisely talked him into going to a salad bar instead. Then I made a heavy salad for myself and had the soup even though I knew we were going out that night to a friends' house. We had paid the money, thought I should make it worth the cost.
Thought for next time: Husband can be disappointed sometimes. It won't kill him and he is also trying to lose weight. I am more important than the cost of a buffet. I can make a small salad and overpay for it. No should's involved.

Dessert at the friends house: This couple is very health conscious and never eat dessert so we thought this would be a light healthy meal. In honor of our being there, she had made brownies and bought ice cream.
Thought for next time: There was no way out of this one. She was so pleased with the surprise for us. But just in case this happened, I could have planned the rest of the day much better. Also, I could let her know we are working on eating healthier like they do and that doing without a dessert would be just fine with us.

Sunday
Cookies and corn chips: I love going for picnics and spending the day in a nature center or park. My daughter and husband do too but neither of them would ever suggest it as something to do for the day. We only do it once or twice a summer and I have to ask to do it. I would like to do it far more often. I feel really good on those days and I wish they could go on forever. I asked my husband to leave his beloved garden for one day and go on a picnic. We also called my daughter. We packed a healthy lunch. I threw in the cookies as a "surprise" for us after the meal.
Thought for next time: After the Saturday we had, we didn't need cookies to make the day better. It was already wonderful without the cookies.

Granola bars on the way home: Stopped at a gas station. I was feeling sad because the day was almost over. Stuffed down the feeling with granola bars I didn't want or need and actually was proud because I didn't choose a candy bar.
Thought for next time: Talk about how great the day was and how I wanted to do this again sometime very soon and much more often in general. Express myself. Skip the bars.

Chips while reading:
I was tired when we got home. I love to curl up with a book but the ritual has always been, book, snack and drink. It feels incomplete without all 3
Thought for next time: The book is the great part, the drink is good appetite suppressant. I will get some great teas that sound enticing and work the snack out of the equation.

2 helpings of supper: Supper was high carb, cheesy and more goo and glop than we normally eat. I love this stuff even though it gives me heartburn all night.
Thought for next time: I was going to make half a casserole so I couldn't overdo. Should have followed that line of reasoning. Try to remember for next time.

Dessert left from Saturday: Total over the top weekend gorging. Knew it would make me feel way over full but ate it anyway. Was even aware the whole time it was self destructive eating.
Thought for next time: Normally, I throw out leftover dessert or offer it to neighbors but I kept the pie. For whom??? I should have known the answer to that one and followed my instinct to throw it out. Need to work on accepting the waste. I am worth it.

Final thought for the weekend. Felt lousy and gross all last night. Between the photography class, a visit with friends and a wonderful get away in a park, I could have been on cloud nine if I had stayed with a small treat each day. Instead, I chose to add guilt and indigestion to the good times. I will work on keeping the fun but doing it without the guilt and indigestion. Won't that be a truly wonderful weekend.

I'm glad I did this. I was all set to ruin my Monday by beating myself up (gained another pound and a half) but decided instead to think it through and try to set the ground work to avoid these situations the next time. A setback, not a failure. I have an action plan for next time. I will move on.
I'm baaaack.

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:26 pm

I'm glad I did this. I was all set to ruin my Monday by beating myself up (gained another pound and a half) but decided instead to think it through and try to set the ground work to avoid these situations the next time. A setback, not a failure. I have an action plan for next time. I will move on.
Two reactions
1) You can't fail on S-days. So you didn't. :)
2) Even if these had been real failures/setbacks, the level of LEARNING you've attached to each one is AWESOME.

I am taking notes, because my S-days have some of the same triggers as yours.

gk
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:10 am

Post by gk » Mon Jun 13, 2011 8:06 pm

Pangelsue2 wrote:decided instead to think it through and try to set the ground work to avoid these situations the next time. A setback, not a failure. I have an action plan for next time. I will move on.
Perfect approach. Well done!
SW (as of 3/25/13): 172 lbs.
CW: 171 lbs.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Mon Jun 13, 2011 8:49 pm

Please just add my name to your thread and you can write for both of us!! This is one of the things I love seeing..not your "failure"..there was none..those were S days but the fact that so many of us have the same thoughts..the same issues..!! How nice to read how others are handling these same issues that I often face!! I loved reading your "reasons" for eating..and now that you are aware, you will catch yourself when you see the problem coming.
I had a strange problem this weekend, maybe this has happened to you (since I'm seeing so many of my issues here): A neighbor returned a roaster to me at about 4:30pm. She said,"Are you and hubby just hanging out on your deck?" I said we were. she said she and her hubby were going to come over and have one drink (she had already had several, I'm sure). I said ,"OK" and got out some munchies and put more beer on ice. 20 minutes later..They still hadn't arrived soI call them (they live right next door) and ask if they want to join us for dinner as I have plenty of shrimp ready to go on the grill.(I thought this would be a clue that we hadn't eaten and were planning to in the near future) she declines and says they will be right over for only one drink. 15 more minutes pass..we set the grill up..5 more minutes and they arrive. I am hungry, hubby is hungry and they are drunk. I only offer one beer.. wife goes home to get a jacket and returns with 2 cans of beer... It was after 7pm when they left! I don't know what I could have done! I'm thinking if it happens again, I am going to say that I need to get dinner going as I need to leave the house in an hour...and then I'll have to drive somewhere .. How did I get started on this is your space Sue2? I'm sorry..it just flowed out...I would really appreciate your thoughts though....(just what you need, right..another problem!) :roll:
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Strawberry Roan
Posts: 1208
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm

Post by Strawberry Roan » Mon Jun 13, 2011 9:29 pm

You had me a giant salad and soup. Nothing wrong with that, assuming it wasn't a cream based soup I suppose. That is the very basis of Volumetrics, salad and soup - high volume, low fat. The only problems with sald are the dressing but just ask for vinegar. Even if they don't have my favorite pomegranate vinegar, plain old white will do. That is all I EVER put on salad, maybe oiive oil if the salad doesn't have oilives.

You are doing fine, you are aware and that is the real key. :wink:
Berry

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue Jun 14, 2011 12:51 am

So good to hear I am not the only one fighting these battles. We will get by with a little help from our friends (as Grammy says). Emotions are our friends as long as we don't deal with them by eating.

I had a really good day today with no real funny stuff. There were several times I was tempted but my review of the emotions of the weekend really helped. My daughter's car died in the middle of traffic today and she called me to get her the number of a towing place. I hung on the phone with her while she waited and commiserated with her about being without a car. She also told me there seems to be a glitch with her unemployment. She didn't get a check deposited last week. She is only about 5 weeks in so there should have been a check. She has to call them tomorrow to figure it out. She is really feeling lousy about not having a car. Normally, I would have hung up the phone and eaten myself numb. (I feel so bad there is nothing we can do to help her). But, I immediately thought, "OK, eating some corn chips will help this situation how?" It popped unbidden into my head. What a good little head for thinking that.
2 hours later, she had a ride to the store she needed to go to and may have a line on a $200 junker someone has for sale. Life will go on and it will be better because there were no chips.
I'm baaaack.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Tue Jun 14, 2011 1:40 am

Please tell your head ,"Great Job!!" and offer it a special head rub as a reward. Once again..this is a head game and has nothing to do with hunger!
Chips, I am convinced, are never our friend!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

SkyKitty
Posts: 204
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:28 pm
Location: Isle of Man

Post by SkyKitty » Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:34 am

I have considered chips (crisps to me, but I'm all strange and British like that) to have been my friend for far too long. I particularly empathise with you Sue on the reading and snacking. I have always been a big reader since a child and nearly always read while I ate, always had a book handy and was often told off for eading at the dinner table.

It got to the point where I associated eating with reading, the problem was as I got older I then started to associate reading with eating. As reading is one of my favourite things to do and sometimes I just can't stop, this became a big problem that I am still working on.

Even reading something at work makes me want to eat.

No S has been a big help to me in this, partly because I can always tell myself I can have crisps 'soon' and even though I did have a mini-binge on Sunday and have 3 packets at once, it's still less than I would eat over a pre-No S week.
When nothing goes right...go left.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:51 am

I have a big problem with wanting to eat whatever the characters in the book are eating (I talked about this in an "off topics" summer reads thread last year) ! I know that sounds so silly but..it is a problem for me!! Even things I don't like sound good when I read about them! Mind games again!! :?
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:18 pm

I love mysteries and while I was reading a lot of Diane Mott Davidson's books, I went through a really bad food time. The heroine is a caterer. When she is working out the mystery, she is usually cooking and her cop husband is a good cook too. They are always talking about melting butter, thick cream etc. And to make matters worse, the recipes are at the end of the books!! Those books were delicious but not conducive to healthy choices.
My daughter and I are also into fantasy and goth type stuff, vampires, werewolves etc. Those are fun and because of the gore, don't leave one particularly hungry. LOL. I am with you Kitty, on reading and eating. I notice I have been reading less lately and I think it is because I know it will make me want a snack. Yesterday I read with a cup of tea. It was a yummy rooibus chai tea and was very good. It was nice but missed a piece of buttered toast. Sigh....Glad I didn't have it though. Maybe reading with a snack could become a nice S day treat.

Speaking of S days, I have a dilemma to resolve this week. We have a potluck to go to tonight, I am spending tomorrow with friends and we will be going to a posh luncheon place where everything including the teas and desserts are made from scratch. And we have Father's day to consider. Also Saturday is the Garden Walk. My husband is the coordinator and usually he wants to go out to eat and celebrate all his hard work after the walk is done. I have only 2 S days so I need to decide which social functions to make S days. I am thinking one will be the posh lunch place for sure. Now to decide the other one. Probably will help my husband celebrate all his hard work and call Saturday an S day. Then today and Sunday, Father's Day will be N days. One plate of food tonight at the potluck should be doable and I just will pretend the desserts aren't there. Probably not easy but doable. On Father's day, he wants to do brunch so if I just have one delightful plate, I should be good. OK.
Tuesday N
Wednesday S
Friday N
Saturday S
Sunday N

Plans are good. Normally I would have thrown out the rules this week claiming our lifestyle doesn't fit the N S rules. With a plan, I can stay on track. Yay!
I'm baaaack.

gk
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:10 am

Post by gk » Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:18 am

SkyKitty wrote:I associated eating with reading, the problem was as I got older I then started to associate reading with eating. As reading is one of my favourite things to do and sometimes I just can't stop, this became a big problem that I am still working on.
This is something I've had to deal with as well. I've been a big reader since my childhood and eating just seems to go along so well with it, doesn't it? In fact, one time I was sitting down for a snack and my youngest asked "why aren't you reading?" Ha!!

I've thought about restricting myself to no reading while eating, but I just enjoy it too much. So, I've just made sure that I'm very conscious about the food I'm eating and take time to notice every bite (a good book can make you not notice a thing, as I'm sure you well know). If my plate is empty and I'm in a chapter that I don't want to stop, I'll just sip on water, and that has seemed to help. Also, I've taken to reading Health/fitness magazines with inspirational stories of others who have lost alot of weight and/or have gotten healthy. This has been especially helpful on several occasions when I didn't "feel" like dieting, but by the end of my meal I'm content because of the material I was reading.

I'm also so used to reading and eating at a table, that sometimes late at night I'll curl up with a good book in a chair/couch that I usually don't read in, and for some reason that helps with not munching while I eat.
SW (as of 3/25/13): 172 lbs.
CW: 171 lbs.

gk
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:10 am

Post by gk » Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:38 am

Pangelsue2 wrote:I have only 2 S days so I need to decide which social functions to make S days. I am thinking one will be the posh lunch place for sure. Now to decide the other one. Probably will help my husband celebrate all his hard work and call Saturday an S day. Then today and Sunday, Father's Day will be N days. One plate of food tonight at the potluck should be doable and I just will pretend the desserts aren't there. Probably not easy but doable. On Father's day, he wants to do brunch so if I just have one delightful plate, I should be good. OK.
Tuesday N
Wednesday S
Friday N
Saturday S
Sunday N

Plans are good. Normally I would have thrown out the rules this week claiming our lifestyle doesn't fit the N S rules. With a plan, I can stay on track. Yay!
Good job making a plan. It will make things seem so much easier when the time comes. You won't have that nail-biting, what-do-I-do decision to deal with at each outing. Now, you can just sit back and enjoy each event, knowing that if you follow your pre-determined plan, you'll be right on track! Good luck! :)
SW (as of 3/25/13): 172 lbs.
CW: 171 lbs.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed Jun 15, 2011 12:44 pm

Thanks, GK. That is what I am hoping for. Potluck done and I stayed on plan. It was easier than I thought. I ate a nice plateful of food. I looked at the desserts and said, "You look good but this is not the day for you." Then I pictured having one of the desserts pictured on the website for the trendy restaurant I am going to today. That was the carrot that got me to move away from the desserts last night. Once that was past, it was a great time seeing all the gardens and talking with all the people. The last garden was a very small city lot but the gardeners did an unbelievable job creating an artistically beautiful oasis. They also took us on a tour of their house and the decorating (although not my style) was perfect for the craftsman house. Lovely night.
Now I can't wait to see my friends today and spend a day on the lake and at a (hopefully) wonderful restaurant.
So far the plan is working and it makes me feel really good that I am controlling my urges to overeat and deciding not to feel long suffering over it. If I was giving up alcohol, it wouldn't be a good idea to spend the weekend in a liquor store.
I'm baaaack.

gk
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:10 am

Post by gk » Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:30 pm

Pangelsue2 wrote:So far the plan is working and it makes me feel really good that I am controlling my urges to overeat and deciding not to feel long suffering over it.

Good job!! :)
SW (as of 3/25/13): 172 lbs.
CW: 171 lbs.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:12 am

Plans changed for today because of the weather. The trendy restaurant was extremely small and most of their tables are outside. It was rainy and cold so they could not accommodate us. We went to another bar/grill type place a I have a cup of home made soup and a nice salad. They carried a locally made ice cream and I ordered a scoop of something called Zanzibar chocolate. It was delicious. I am glad I only ordered one scoop. It was so dark chocolate, it was almost black. Was as rich as a candy bar and very creamy. Perfect treat and not too large. We spent the afternoon shopping at all the little gift joints in this tourist town and I bought a neat glass birdbath for the yard, a bracelet for my daughter's birthday and a Lemoncello/cranberry jelly. It was a fun day and a wonderful visit with people I like a lot. Burger and sweet potato fries for supper and an ounce of chocolate with a granola bar when I came home. Lovely S day even though the plans changed.
I'm baaaack.

oolala53
Posts: 9789
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:37 am

I haven't read your whole thread but you assessment of your S days last weekend is great insight!
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 67
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

User avatar
sophiasapientia
Posts: 919
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
Location: Michigan

Post by sophiasapientia » Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:07 am

Way to go with the flow! Your special day with friends sounds just lovely! :D

I too love the introspection and insight in your posts. :idea:
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:56 pm

You go!

It is wonderful to read your posts. Not just because you're sticking to your plan (which is a HUGE accomplishment and deserves many pats on the back), but because you sound like you're finding an enormous amount of enjoyment in these special occasions.

Isn't it lovely that worries about food ("should I, shouldn't I... oh, I did, and now I feel awful") don't intrude on these events?

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:35 pm

Sue2, reading your last post reminds me of the phrase "Oh, that's only for decoration" that someone posted long ago..I think I remember the poster used it as a line when a child wanted something from a shop window (I think it was a toy, but I'm not sure..) and the poster decided that was a wonderful phrase to remember when surrounded by candy dishes on desks..a dessert tray or display of treats. I loved the story and kept a post-it note with that phrase on my frig for a long time. I'm sure someone out there remembers more to the story than I am relating or can clarify some details! It sounded like something YOU might enjoy using! :wink:
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:55 pm

Way to go Sue!!! You are having a fun social week that is surrounded by friends and food and you are staying in control. What a great example of how we can take good care of ourselves and that does not mean denying ourselves OR over-indulging. Such a balance act, but your last few days are really a picture perfect example.

Yay for you!!! :D :D :D
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:00 pm

Grammy G wrote:Sue2, reading your last post reminds me of the phrase "Oh, that's only for decoration" that someone posted long ago..I think I remember the poster used it as a line when a child wanted something from a shop window (I think it was a toy, but I'm not sure..) and the poster decided that was a wonderful phrase to remember when surrounded by candy dishes on desks..a dessert tray or display of treats. I loved the story and kept a post-it note with that phrase on my frig for a long time. I'm sure someone out there remembers more to the story than I am relating or can clarify some details! It sounded like something YOU might enjoy using! :wink:
The whole story is on the "catch phrase" sticky - along with some great pictures!

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:28 am

Today was a typical N day and just fine. I ate 3 times and it was good.

I loved reading all your responses and encouragement though. It made my day. Thanks, all of you.
GK, I am with you on eating and reading. I wish I didn't love it so much but eating in and of itself is mostly boring. At work, I read during lunch and all morning, I was mostly thinking, "almost time to read" rather than "almost time to eat". I think that is because I mostly don't like lunch. I would probably like it more if I took time to do something fresh but it seems (mostly through lack of ambition) to be leftovers, cheese and crackers, hummus and veggies or PB toast or something like that. The book is the thing. Yum.
Stubby, control and balance are both so important. They have to be personal choices and that is why we are attracted to No S. No one can impose their ideas on someone else. I think that is why most diet books don't work. We read about someone's journey and it sounds so good. So we try to impose their answers on our own lives. Sometimes it works but most of the time, they are someone else's answers and not our own. Like Grammy says, take the plan and make it work for you. No one says it has to be followed 100% to the letter.

oolala and sophia, thanks for visiting and I am glad you enjoyed browsing here. Introspection is a double edges sword for me. It has seen me through many a rough time but it has caused a couple too when I over think things. There have been many times I would have loved an on/off switch on my brain. And, many times the off switch was food. I am learning to change that, I hope.
KCCC, as usual, you inspire me with ideas that stick to my ribs. I learned about how a plan actually provides freedom. Freedom from obsession, freedom to enjoy eating and not eating because it was a personal decision. It reminds me of a story I read once about a school yard without a fence around it. The teachers and parents warned the kids about the danger of running into traffic and the danger from strangers. The children were so afraid they played mostly in the center of the playground, afraid to wander too close to the street. Then the city put a fence around the playground and the children played on every square inch of the playground because they had boundaries and were free to play anywhere within those boundaries. That is what the plan felt like this week. Instead of feeling constrained, I felt free to move within the boundaries I set. I hope this week will be just the beginning of insights into what works and what doesn't. I am sure I will learn as much from what doesn't work as from what does. Therefore, no failures. It's all good as long as it provides useful information.

Grammy, I hope you are having a wonderful time with your visitors and exercising your new freedom of choice plan. You too inspire me to want more for me and then give more to others.
Grammy and KCCC, I don't know where to look for the sticky you talked about. I tried the 3 stickies on the daily board and the discussion board. Is there an easy way to find to entry you were talking about?
I'm baaaack.

snapdragon
Posts: 701
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:43 pm
Location: midwest

Post by snapdragon » Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:51 am

Thank you for the encouraging words!!!! I like reading your check-ins too.
Starting weight 185
Healthy BMI 139
Willingness without action is fantasy

oolala53
Posts: 9789
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 5:34 am

It's called No S Catch Phrase Glossary (add yours!) and it's the very top sticky on the general discussion board. Lots of fun there.
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 67
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

kccc
Posts: 3956
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:12 am

Post by kccc » Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:54 pm

oolala53 wrote:It's called No S Catch Phrase Glossary (add yours!) and it's the very top sticky on the general discussion board. Lots of fun there.
The "Just for Decoration" bit is on page 2 (at least as I have my preferences set for # of messages), over half-way down. If I knew how to link to that particular spot, I would. Enjoy!

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:57 am

Found it. Thanks for the directions. I also love it. I tried it today as a matter of fact. We were checking out at a hardware store and there were candy bars. I was hungry because it was close to supper. They looked so doable. Then I thought, they are just decoration and it made me laugh. Don't know if it will always work but it worked today. I am also here looking for inspiration because it has been a hard day for resistance. Made it so far but it was harder than it was all week.

Made the mistake of weighing myself this morning and I had gained a half pound. I know that doesn't mean much because it could be water, salt whatever and also that I shouldn't weigh more than once a week. But I did and I didn't love what I saw so the "I don't care" thoughts are creeping in. But I know those thoughts are not helpful. If I follow their lead and eat a bunch of junk (decorations), the next time I weigh myself there will be an even larger gain. Best to stay where I am and hope my regular weigh in Monday morning will back up my resolve. Even if it doesn't, progress can only be made by staying on plan, not going off it. That feels better.

I think I am also feeling upset because I have been nagging my husband a lot lately about over extending himself. He thinks there are 40 hours in a day and gets to the point where he is sleeping for only 5 or 6 hours a night and working on some project or other the rest of the day. He is a cancer survivor and I love him. I worry when he overdoes it. But he doesn't like to be nagged so he pushes himself even harder. Today, he had the start of a migraine and admitted he is working too hard. Then we came home and he sat for a while after supper. Now I am fighting nagging some more because it is after 9PM and he is still working very hard in the garden. Arrrgh!

Also, I had to lay the law down to my daughter tonight. She can't look for work without a car and hers is now totally done for. I told her, I would give her up to $500 for a junker if she could find one that still had some life in it. She knows this guy who has been after her to sell him her Saturn so he can use it for parts to fix up his wife's Saturn. He offered to sell her his fixed up old Ford for $200 and her car. I want her to take the Ford to our mechanic to make sure she will not pay $200 and trade her car for for an older car that won't last more than a week. She kept telling me her friend would never do that to her and she was ready to make the deal, give him her old car and take his car no questions asked. I tried to talk sense to her, but she kept saying it would be all right. I finally told her unless she took his car to the mechanic first, the deal was off and I wouldn't give her the money. So I am feeling like a real schtoonk. I hate being the bad ass.

I am supposed to be pangelsue. I got this nickname as a child because my older and younger sisters were both crazy people who drove my mother wild. I was the calm rational laid back one and she called me her angel Sue. This of course did not sit well with my sisters. Once when I upset my mom and I knew she was mad, I cried and said "I'm not naughty, me Pangelsue." The name stuck and my sisters taunt me with it to this day when they think I am being too goody goody. Pangelsue has always been a people pleaser and I hate upsetting the people I love. I do a lot to avoid confrontation. I feel in both these instances today, I needed to say what I did but I don't have to like saying it. Sucks. I used Pangelsue as my name here because it was the one I used last time but I am now wondering how much of the battle I am fighting here is directly linked to that name. I people pleased at work, with my immediate and extended family and I find it exhausting to be with friends sometimes because I have the pangelsue image to uphold. My last day at work, I overheard a coworker say, "Sue is unbelievable. I don't think she ever said one contrary thing to anyone in 15 years." I wasn't sure how I felt about that because there were many times I was upset about work. At 66, I am not sure how much of that image I can or want to change. Tired of thinking for tonight but I will certainly return to these thoughts again, I'm sure.

Great, my husband just came in the house and says that he is riding to the next town to see if the detour is still in effect for tomorrow because he will have to email a ton of people to let them know the route is changed for tomorrow's garden walk. Divorce never, murder, many times....
I'm baaaack.

User avatar
NoSRocks
Posts: 1137
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:51 am

Post by NoSRocks » Sat Jun 18, 2011 4:25 am

Hey sue! Just read your recent heartfelt post and to wanted to give you a big (((((hug))))))))))from one people pleaser to another!! I, too, hate confrontation of any kind and i used to find the workplace in particular one of my pet hates because of this. I tend to pick up on people's moods, and if a colleague was in a bad mood or whatever, I always assumed it must be something i said, or didn't say; in other words, I took it personally and used to worry about it. I also used to have a phobia that other's were talking about me behind my back or worry about what other's thought about me - since I got older, I'm not quite as paranoid however for this reason alone, I do not work in an office environment anymore. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but I feel much saner in the type of employment I have now. I also realize that I am not making as much money as I could since opting out of a steady office job but to me, the satisfaction and stress free atmosphere I have right now makes up for it ten fold.

Thanks all for listening to my thoughts for the day!! LOL

Have a great weekend, everyone.
No S-er since December 2009
Streamlined S Days: 6/25/12
SW: 170 /CW: 127
Weight loss to date: 43 lbs

oolala53
Posts: 9789
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:57 am

Lot of grrrr factors there, Pangelsue. I feel ya. Congrats on skipping the random candy bar. Random is the new white after labor day. To me, random is the seat of all eating disorder. Ya done good.
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 67
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

User avatar
sophiasapientia
Posts: 919
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
Location: Michigan

Post by sophiasapientia » Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:04 am

(((Sue2))) I suspect that many of us understand about being people pleasers. Congratulations on standing your ground with your family even though it wasn't pleasant or easy.

And perhaps changing your user handle would be appropriate, symbolically speaking. I'm not sure how that works but, if you are interested, it couldn't hurt to ask Reinhard.

Have a good weekend!
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:29 pm

Oh Sue! My heart goes out to you! I have been there, and probably will be again! This is -again- when I think sharing is sooo important! There are so many of use who "wear your shoes and walk your walk" everyday! I wish there were a magic answer for all of us! I think your putting conditions and limits on the $ to daughter are reasonable. Now the ball is in her court. With hubby, the issues are very complicated, I think. Hopefully, you can sit down and talk about your feelings (and his) when both of you are calm. ( I'm still working on that one too!! ) Eating will not solve anything, as you know..keep on writing ..we are all here to help lift you above the fray!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Strawberry Roan
Posts: 1208
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:51 pm

Post by Strawberry Roan » Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:59 pm

Wishing you a great day Sue, with the garden tour (love those) and with life in general. You sounded very exhausted when you posted and my heart went out to you. I realize that I am very blessed to be at a place in my life where I can be very selfish - my family is grown and gone and my husband married me knowing that I do know how to use the word NO, with emphasis, to many people - and mean it.

It wasn't always that way, of course, when I was younger. The older I get the more I think about me. :wink:
Berry

snapdragon
Posts: 701
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:43 pm
Location: midwest

Post by snapdragon » Sat Jun 18, 2011 1:01 pm

I think having the reputation of never saying something contrary isn't a bad one. I think it just means your a nice person. Perhaps it means you don't get involved in DRAMA which again, is a nice thing. It doesn't automatically make you a door mat either, and I hope you aren't one.
Just my two cents about your DH....please don't nag, people ignore it. I would say to speak your mind once calmly, with my DH his first reaction isn't always a nice one but I have learned that it doesn't mean he did not hear me. it doesn't mean he will change right away but I have had the experience of him coming to me and saying....Iwas thinking about what you said......
Anyway hugs to you.
Starting weight 185
Healthy BMI 139
Willingness without action is fantasy

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:31 pm

Thank you all for the sound advise and support. NoSRocks, I identified with everything you said. We could have been twins at the workplace.
Oolala, thanks for the "random" support. Made me laugh.
Grammy and Strawberry, as always, thanks for the sound advise and for supporting my decisions. As of today I am glad I stood my ground.
Sophia, I too debated changing my handle but then something snapdragon said rang true and I changed my mind. I am who I am by choice. I usually take the high road in arguments and I try to always listen to the other person's side. A part of me always liked having that nickname because it meant that the person I was trying so hard to be was represented in it. I will keep it as a reminder of where I want to be. Snapdragon was also right about the comments to DH. He went for a walk today and told me it was very relaxing. I also overheard him at the Garden Walk telling some friends that he and I had talked it over and agreed that he needed to curb his enthusiasm a bit. We hadn't really talked it over but evidently he heard what I said. That's all that matters.

So thanks again all of you. You are the best angels in my life.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:38 pm

My Saturday went well and I think my decisions to leave this day an S day was a good one. The Garden Walk was a resounding success thanks to my husband's great leadership and hard work and the dedication of all the volunteers and garden hosts. It was a day of grab food wherever you can though so custom made for an S day. At the end of it, we went to our favorite Thai restaurant and I wanted their home made almond coconut ice cream (made with coconut milk) and so I ordered my favorite appetizer which was smaller in size and enjoyed the double scoop of ice cream.

I was thinking a lot about food choices this week. I have been having the chocolate after each successful day and discovered after the third day, that I don't really like chocolate all that much and certainly not that often. I think it was feeling guilty about it all these years that made it sound so irresistible. Gave it up and haven't missed it since. Would that work with peanuts or corn chips? I think not.

Food choices. What a mine field. We don't want to be fat or unhealthy or miserable but because life is short, we don't like feeling deprived or like we are missing out on the fun that is good food. The temporary attraction of diets like Jenny Craig is that the choices are made for us. We can breathe easy and know we are eating the right food and the right amount. We don't really have to think at all. But we aren't really learning anything and eventually we have to reenter the real world and then we know what happens. It is like an alcoholic or drug addict in forced rehab. Then there is the attraction of diets like low carb. Eat all the rich foods you want and get thin. Wonderful, pass the bread. Oops, no bread. That to me is like drinking non alcoholic wine or smoking fake cigarettes. Every diet does that to us. It tries to help us make the right decisions with the least amount of fuss or pain. But we end up resenting all of them because our free will is taken away or all of our free time is spent counting, looking up and longing for things we can't have. The attraction here at No S is that there is no counting, no one thinks for us and tells us what to eat and what not to eat. There is only one snake in this Eden. We have to tell ourselves when it's enough and we have to enjoy and then wait until it is time to enjoy again. It is behavior mod training. We are unlearning the habits of a lifetime and trying to replace those habits with healthier saner ones. Ask an alcoholic, drug addict or ex-smoker how easy that is in a world filled with booze, drugs and cigarettes. There is no kidding ourselves. We are trying to do the same thing with food only we can't give it up cold turkey. We have to continue eating without being self destructive. It will happen if we really want it badly enough but it will happen one choice at a time, one success at a time and by recovering from one setback at a time. Freedom doesn't come easy.
I apologize for these sermons on the mount I have been leaving everywhere lately but they are part of a process I think I am going through. I seem to finally be getting it. This is not a game I work hard at trying to get around. This is sanity and I am trying to achieve it. I hope enough hard gazing into the mirror will get me where I need to be.
I'm baaaack.

oolala53
Posts: 9789
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:00 am

I appreciate your sermons, not the least reason for which probably is that I love giving them! I wouldn't keep up with your daily check-in if I didn't.

Can you imagine that I am actually now (17.5 months into No S) feeling a little sorry for the bad rap diets get? Ha! I say that because my meals now often look exactly like meals I had on different diets, and I'm glad for that.
I'm continuing this thought on the big board so I don't hijack your check-in. Have a great end to your weekend!
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 67
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:36 am

Once again, you could add my name to your post and we could be co-authors! It has taken me sooo veeery long to get to the place we both seem to be! You are right, this is not a game.. it is our very existence! How did we manage to corrupt our relationship with food? We can figure this out and make peace with food, I'm sure!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:01 am

Thanks for the kudos, guys. I appreciate it. Today was mostly a success right up until 5 minutes before supper. There was a little snacking that might have taken the plate over the limit but considering the circumstances, I am OK with it. My daughter's possible car lead fell through and she is trying so hard to stay positive. She has given up cable and internet. She has lost her car and now her phone isn't working. She is at Verizon as we speak trying to get a replacement without signing up for another contract she might not be able to pay for. Her stress levels have to be really high. If I were her, I'd be a mess. I am very glad I am retired. Not a good time to be a worker in this country. Or should I say ex worker. She is doing much better than I thought she would be. I wanted to be able to fix it all. Hate feeling helpless. Oh well, she will have to move on one day at a time and so will I. I am proud I ate only a few pita chips and a couple of tablespoons of hummus. That is way better than it would normally have been under these circumstances so I am pleased with my food response to stress.

Course, the night's not over.
I'm baaaack.

tobiasmom
Posts: 1384
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:08 pm
Location: Texas

hey

Post by tobiasmom » Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:35 am

Oh, boy! My son is only 3, and I worry about him all.the.time! I cannot imagine when he's having car issues and job issues and all that jazz. My hat's off to ya!

r.jean
Posts: 1653
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:47 pm
Location: Midwest

Post by r.jean » Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:06 pm

As the parent of 3 adult children, I sympathize with the worries of a mother. It does not stop when they leave home.
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

KareBear
Posts: 171
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:16 pm
Location: Eugene, Oregon

Post by KareBear » Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:36 pm

Goodness sakes kids are such a stressor. But I suppose if we did not have the kiddos, we would find something else to stress about so we could emotional eat. Just like an addict, we are always looking for excuses to "blow it". It is such a wonderful thing to have S days to look at during the week and say "I only have to wait a few more days" I love reading about your insight and find it very helpful and reassuring in my constant struggle with me, food and my body image. I am really trying to enjoy every day, because of the people in them, and not the food.
Karen

Start/Current/Goal
160/ 160 /135

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:04 am

Thanks Stubbie. I too am trying to enjoy people and things instead of focusing on food lately. Seems to be getting easier to do. I sure hope so. Took me long enough to get with the program. Ha.
Today was a good food day. Stayed on plan. Ate healthy. It is late and I should be in bed but it is raining really hard here and our sunroom door is very low to the ground. Sometimes when it rains hard, we get water under the door. But it does look like the rain is almost past our zip code.
I'm baaaack.

Grammy G
Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:00 pm

Post by Grammy G » Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:21 am

Got a call from bonus daughter who is having some issues w/ her daughter #2..a young adult. Her opening statement was," This parenthood thing is not all it is cracked up to be!" She is right, it isn't! don't we all go into it thinking we will have the perfect TV family and the sun will always shine and the grass will always be green. sigh :shock: ..if only!
"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think another negative thought."
Peace Pilgrim

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:18 pm

So right, Grammy. My mom summed it up one time when she said you wouldn't take 10 million dollars for the ones you have but you wouldn't give 2 cents for another one. LOL.
I'm baaaack.

Pangelsue2
Posts: 389
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 am
Location: Neenah WI

Post by Pangelsue2 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 1:59 am

Friday and everything was on plan. Did good. Took Wednesday as an S day. Just felt like it. I will be taking Saturday as my other one because we are celebrating at friends' house. They just bought a new giant grill. My stove should only be this fancy. Should be fun to see the master chefs at work. Sunday will be regulation N.
Have a good weekend everyone.
I'm baaaack.

dmarie710
Posts: 249
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:48 am
Location: Temecula

Post by dmarie710 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 2:47 am

what a treasure your check in is, Sue. I'm 39 but have two 18 year olds. I'm feeling way more stress with all that young adults bring than when they were toddlers. I appreciate you honesty and can relate with alot.
Denise
Denise
restart No S on 4/1 at 132#
goal is 120-123# doing vanilla NoS with Eat Stop Eat on Monday.

Post Reply