Pangelsue's check in

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:39 pm

Day 1
I have decided this is day one to log my progress No S-ing. I read quite of few logs over the weekend and it seems that logging helps people sort through it all and find a method that works for them. I am looking forward to Mondays as I always do. I think I am still very used to diets being rule oriented.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:26 am

Success but harder than I thought it would be. It was a very frustrating day at work and I did a couple of hours of overtime. By the time I went home, I was really starving but I was proud of myself that I made it through the day.
Breakfast: fried egg, toaster french toast slice and half a grapefruit
Lunch: Bean and rice burrito and 3 strawberries
Supper: Homemade pea soup and half a cheese sandwich on oatbran bread.

Chippie&co. · Post by **Chippie&co.** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:28 pm

Welcome Panglesue.

My husband and I have been doing this for a month and half or so, and some days are good and some days are bad, but this no-s'ing DOES work.

Take care,
Chippie

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:23 am

Thanks for the welcome. It is reassuring to know this works. I tried it once before but I think I was overdoing the S days so I thought I'd keep track for a while to keep myself honest. Is it easier to go on the diet together? My husband is a very active guy who works out a lot and he doesn't really have to watch his diet. He sympathizes but doesn't really get it sometimes.

Today was a success day.
Breakfast: 1 egg, 2 slices of canadian bacon, 1 slice of toast and 3 strawberries.
Lunch: smoked turkey and mozzerella sandwich with sliced tomatoes. Peach
Supper: Garlic mashed potatoes, honey mustard chicken and asparagas

Worked overtime again tonight and was hungry when I got home but the success feeling outweighed the urge to snack.

Qi Gonged this morning. It felt good. Used to do it almost everyday but got out of the habit.
So far so good.

Chippie&co. · Post by **Chippie&co.** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:39 pm

Morning,

It IS easier to do it with someone. There's a lot to be said for accountability. Anyway, I've had a couple of days where I failed at one meal or the other. Yesterday was lunch. Crudité does not cut it!!!! So when I got home, I was famished, and had a peanut butter sandwich, and then my husband and his secretary (yup- home office) got cheese [pizza for lunch, and I had not one but two slices.

Anyway, I think the philosophy of eating a good meal at your mealtime is wise, because then you won't have that situation.

Good luck, and remember even when you fall off the wagon, you can get back on again. You seem tobe doing fine, though.

Chippie.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:41 pm

Hi Sue

(What's a pangel!?? LOL...)

Just wanted to say keep it up!!!
I love Qi Gong!
Yes it feels great..
Especially if you do it outside!
Peace and Love,

Deb

ceu · Post by **ceu** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:19 pm

welcome and hello.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:21 am

Success! Good day. Qi Gong again. Relaxing and comforting. The worst time of the day for me is immediately after work. My husband works out after work and I used to read and have a snack. Really feel deprived. So today I did the Qi Gong again and then read. Better.

Breakfast: cereal with 1/2 cup of blueberry smoothie poured over it. 1 slice of toast
Lunch: Large salad with dried cranberries, smoked turkey and mozzerella. 1 slice of toast.
Supper: Sloppy Joes oven fries and broccoli.

Thank you all for the welcomes and kind words. It is so nice to have the support of people who are on the same road. This feels right and is easier than I ever thought it would be. I shouldn't say "easy". It is it's independence from forcing someone else's version of the perfect diet on my life. I feel like I have 3 simple rules and I am personally writing the rest.

Deb, I read so many kind and helpful things that you post to everyone. You must be a very caring and nurturing person. I have a question for you, actually. My husband and I are very much into integrative medicine. We truly think the wave of the future has to be a combining of alternative and traditional medicine. We eat as organic as we can and have taken a number of classes in holistic and alternative practices. You attached a site for Friekwich (spelling?) that showed the location and uses of specific pressure points on the body. I went to the site and found the drawings fascinating but I think you said there were instructions on how to use the points?? How do you access that part of the site? Also, can you please provide the site again?

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:46 am

That was always the hardest time for me. When I (rarely) have a hard time now, it's *still* at 5:00 p.m.

You'll be okay, though.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:05 am

Hi Sue

The link was just to a good site for acupuncture point meridians...
I like it because the diagrams are very clear and the point location is not confusing..

Go to www.yinyanghouse.com

I think that was it!
Thanks for your kind words!
I have gained much support here and Reinhard and NoS have been very instrumental in helping me in a truly difficult time in my life!
I enjoy writing to people too as I spend a lot of my life a bit isolated these days, what with being a single mom of a still young (and wonderful!)
kid... This board helps me feel more connected!

If you ever have any specific question about accupressure, I'm more than happy to share what I've learned with you

I figured if you practice Qi Gong, you must be pretty hip!

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 5:00 am

Success. This day was easier. Thanks for the reassurance, Kevin that 5:00 will get easier. That was still the roughest part of today. It is actually easier when I am working overtime because there is no food available unless I go to the lunchroom and use the machines. My cubicle is right next to the treat table. That used to be one of my biggest downfalls. I hear everyone oohing and ahhhing over the treats. That has been easier because my New Year's resolution this year was to never eat anything off the treat table. Never having anything just seemed easier than sometimes. It is. I have almost a 3 months in now and it is getting harder to break because it's the principal of the thing from now on.

Anyway,
Breakfast: bagel with peanut butter. Half grapefruit. My husband gave me the idea to use a grapefruit spoon to dig out the middle of the bagel. It leaves the best part and cuts down on the carbs.
Lunch: Squash, succatash and a turkey burger patty
Supper: tuna, broccoli, mac and cheese casserole. Waldorf salad

Did a tai chi CD I have. It was made by a nurse we took a healing course from. Very peaceful. Very gentle. Namaste' and good night.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:23 pm

Success!!! Whew, made it one whole week. Feels pretty good. Now the weekend is ahead and I am having a piece of Breadsmith pumpkin bread. Best ever!! Also going out to eat tonight with friends but I plan on taking it easy if possible. We shall see.
Breakfast: 1/2 banana, toaster whole wheat french toast and 1 egg scrambled with asparagas Yum. This is what was always missing on low carb diets, the whole wheat toast that made the egg yummy.
Lunch: Went out with work friends. Bad restaurant choice. Grilled cheese with tomato and french fries. I asked for WW bread and got white and the tomato was enemic but no time to have them make it again. It was gross so I left half and ate all my fries because I was hungry.
Dinner: Felt guilty for having too many carbs today so I had a very large salad with lots of vegetables and about 3 oz of grilled chicken.

Went to movie with my daughter (V for Vendetta, strange movie with lots to think about. Reminded me of stuff from the 60's except we preached love and this generation seems to more about hopelessness and violence but they are trying to say that people need to think as individuals or at least think at all. She was raised by a couple of hippies so we talked at lot about the ideas and that was great. She reminded me that although our generation was for peace, people died, were assassinated and there was plenty of violence. ). At first going to the movie was difficult because I always take a snack or 2 to movies. Bought water instead. It worked but still missed the snack. Oh well. Decisions, decisions.

Where did this site go for a day or so? Got scared.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:52 am

Saturday and Sunday were good. Did quite well at the restaurant on Saturday. Probably had too much sugar on Sunday. Didn't feel well on Sunday night.

Monday Success.
Breakfast: cereal and milk. Slice of toast with jam
Lunch: baked potato with chili and cheese.
Supper: Pasta with marinara sauce, salad and asparagus at my daughter's house. She has a new wonderfully friendly cat who is amazingly social. Nice night. I was having trouble relaxing though. Monday's are usually hard. Wait it out until tomorrow. I am going to bed tonight a little frustrated. Day 8 done. Yippee!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Mar 29, 2006 2:22 am

Success! Good day. Not too hungry. I wish I would feel less anxious but spring is coming and I feel a lot of cabin fever I think. Been meditating and doing qui gong and tai chi. Still anxious. Especially at night. Maybe it's because I normally would have caved in by now and I am afraid this could last???
Breakfast: 1 egg, french toast and grapefruit
Lunch: vegetables and mac and cheese
Supper: Fish with hollandaise, red potatotes and asaparagas.

Feeling tired and a little down. Good night.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:36 am

Half way there!! Double digits!!! Success.

This is getting easier every day. I love it. That 21 days is dangling there like a carrot. Will have to find a new carrot when I get to 21. (if I get to 21).

Breakfast: cereal, tst with peanut butter and half a banana
Lunch: Followed Friekwich's plan and wrapped up a lot of vegetables, beans and cheese in a large flour tortilla. Yummy!
Supper: pork chop with apples, half and half rhutabagas and mashed potatoes, peas and slice of pumpernickel. Half a glass of merlot too. Again yummy!

In a better mood today. Had too much corporate _ull s___ yesterday. Between the government and big business, it gets pretty deep sometimes. 5 years until retirement. Then it will be, "would you like fries with that?" I can't wait.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:59 pm

I was feeling blue this morning because I was thinking that if this works, why did I have to wait until 61 to find it. But better late than never I guess. Can't change it. Can only move forward.

Success again. My daughter had off from work so I took the afternoon off too. She just recently bought the complete set of DVDs for Alien Nation. They are awesome. Just as good as they were 15 years ago. We had fun.

Breakfast: toast, egg and asparagus, grapefruit and orange sections
Lunch: Reuben sandwich and cup of applesauce
Supper: Chicken with snow peas and artichokes, and pasta. Glass of wine

Weather is perfect. Feels like spring. Good day.

ceu · Post by **ceu** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:43 pm

spring is indeed setting in around here as well, although yesterday was the rainy/foggy sort of spring day.

Is alien nation the show with mandy patinkin?

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 8:14 pm

It is based on the movie with Mandy Patinkin but this was the tv series. Short lived but very good and it has held up with time. Lots to say about a lot of controversial issues like prejudice, what normal is, tolerance and equality. Almost sounds American, doesn't it???

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:24 am

Success. Friday was good but I went to bed early because I was thinking about food a lot.
Breakfast: cereal toast and PB
Lunch: Salad and 2 breadsticks at Pizza Hut
Supper: out for fish with friends. Had 1 piece of haddock, baked potato and cole slaw.

Saturday. S day and went overboard. Too many snacks and treats. Must have been trying to make up cravings all week. Am regretting it. I have heart burn and stomach ache. Best part of the day, I went to see V for Vendetta again with my husband this time. Good movie.

I hope to do better tomorrow. Less salt and sugar.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:42 am

I know I shouldn't worry about S days for a while but Saturday and Sunday were way over the top this week. It was like I was thinking I was going to reget it if I didn't indulge every craving before Monday. We were home a lot this weekend and it was raining. I was really bored and I gave in to every eating desire. I will have to develop a better plan or attitude toward the weekends.

It's Monday morning and I am really glad. Although, I am thinking that if I can impose a plan I have for myself on Monday through Friday without too much trouble, why am I making excuses for overeating on Saturday and Sunday?

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:13 pm

I am thinking that if I can impose a plan I have for myself on Monday through Friday without too much trouble, why am I making excuses for overeating on Saturday and Sunday?

Hey Sue,
You aren't making excuses okay... S days are just totally rule immune!
Okay? LOL..
This isn't a lack of discipline or anything, it's a necessary part of NoS which is just something you will have to learn to get used to...
Once you see that you get through many weeks and many S days without it harming your overall progress, you won't feel so worried about the occasional S day extravaganza...
Until this month, and my slip into bad N days, for about 17 months, I haven't ever really gained from indulgent S days... Well, one time I did, but I literally ate a quart of ice cream with my son and like two full size bags of chips, etc....
I say, just devote your energy to more positive use.. don't beat yourself up about S days, just try to plan what you will have in the house a little bit more, but don't really worry about adding so much structure to them...
They are our steam valve and a reward for good N days..
Generally, they don't do us harm, as long as the N days are good...
Keep on learning and enjoying your NoS life!
Peace and Love,

Deb

ceu · Post by **ceu** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:23 pm

I've been going through the same sort of anxiety over my Sdays. I went on a serious bender this weekend. I did notice how awful physically I felt, and I suspect that over time I will seek to avoid the feeling of being overfull.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:55 pm

I hear you on that score. Really felt awful both days. Makes me wonder why I like them so much. I feel much better slightly hungry. That lean and hungry look becomes me. LOL. I still need to learn to relax about weekends. I feel like I screwed up when they get too crazy. Deb, you are right. I will continue to learn. I need patience. That is a problem for me. I want instant results. Deep breaths and time. Just don't hyperventilate, right. When I meditate, I sometimes am so anxious to calm down that I take the deep breaths too fast and almost do hyperventilate. Probably the only person on the planet that can get stressed relaxing. My daughter ( a lot like me) always says " but I feel so much more relaxed when I am tense" Yikes!!

Simon · Post by **Simon** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:04 pm

I'm just beginning to see the hint of truth in that comment, The lean and hungry look becomes me.

It's funny, but true! Being tied down to an office job (like most here, I would guess?) I've been a chronic grazer, snagging a cookie or granola bar nearly every time I tramp past the kitchen at the office. Oh, it's just one, what the hell.

Changing that mindset by consciously sticking to the traditional "Three Squares" (or however many squares one decides; three for me) is an alarmingly freeing feeling. Goes right back to Reinhard's comment on the NoS site regarding people these days simply NOT accepting responsibility for themselves; even going so far as to become belligerent when asked to do so.

Keeping that uppermost in my own mind, it's actually easier than I thought.

Back, Habit!! Back, vile Beast!! I shall tame thee anon and ye shall find that thou hast been transformed anew! (Albeit still a Habit, but a much nicer and more cooperative Habit. One with fresh, minty breath and who obviously uses a moisturising lotion after showering.)

Sorry 'bout that, pangelsue, I'm just finding my feet in this forum now and seem to have gone too far. I shall chastise myself accordingly.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:55 am

Welcome Simon! What a refreshing breath of air you are! And funny. I also felt like I needed something every time I walked by the snack machines at work. I hate to think how many times I tried to invent a plan that allowed for 4 or 5 snacks because I wanted a morning break, and afternoon break, a snack when I got home from work and another watching TV at night. The only problem with a plan like that is that it meant the meals had to have only about 200 calories in them. That meant they would fit in a tea cup. This is much better. I too shall master the art of 3 squares and hold off the attack of the snack dragons. I think actually it may just be time for bed.

Breakfast: Cereal with strawberries and toast
Lunch: 6 in sub and cup of soup
Supper: Ordered chinese (no fortune cookie, just the fortune).

Good night all.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:02 am

Success! Weird day. Ups and downs. Feel like I am fighting a cold or something or allergies.

Breakfast: cereal and toast Getting really bored with this choice but it is filling and easy.
Lunch: We had pizza at work. Didn't much care for it so I only had 2 small pieces. I added a bag of peanuts so I wouldn't get hungry before supper.
Supper: Baked haddock, spudpuppies and broccoli

Watched some TV and am heading to bed a little early.
Getting close to the finish line. Also getting a little nervous about what comes after the 21 day goal to stay focused. I will be sort of winging it after that. I sound like an addict leaving the dry out clinic. I think it is really time for bed.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:09 pm

Sue, seriously, and I guess I'm trying to offer you some long term advice... There are ups and downs and you are committing to a long term, life plan... Don't forget,,,,
You are in control of your choices and NoS is really optimized to give your willpower the upper hand!
Just take every day one at a time and don't worry about the future...
If it makes you feel safe and good to start another 21 days, great!
I realize that, for me, if I don't have some close scrutiny of my general eating habits, I start to spiral downward and feel out of control...
Luckily for us all, NoS makes structure and discipline very simple and easy to maintain...
So, my advice, always keep positive and set small goals, and just stick with it!!!

Hope you feel better soon!
I just found out that I didn't actually contract the strep infection from my son, as my test came back negative today!
So maybe we are all experiencing seasonal sickness...
Rest, stay hydrated, spit alot, and steam yourself in hot showers, and all that stuff...

My friend Todd, who owns a health food/vitamin store, said a good thing to take for decongesting is something called "horehound"...
I swear, I didn't make that name up!

I'm going to try it out soon!
I'm a sucker for horehounds!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:25 pm

I had this really crazy image when you said horehounds??? It sounds like something you could get arrested for eating. Actually though, I remember my grandfather eating horehound candy and offering us some when we were kids. It tasted pretty nasty. It is a cough drop of sorts but the herbs and stuff have a strange medicinal flavor. Maybe if I tasted it as an adult, I would feel differently about it. After all, I have tried tofu more than once although I don't know why. As Ray Ramano said in Everybody Loves Raymond, " it starts off with an after taste." I don't think I ever want to be healthy that badly. LOL.

I was in a low mood last night and it has passed. I will continue to post here though after I am done with the 21. After 60 years of bad habits, I think I need more than 3 weeks to make new ones. Also I can tell that my head is sort of saying, you are almost there so just hang in there a while longer and I know that is not a good attitude. So I need to monitor myself a little (or a lot) longer. I was the queen of excuses and I know it will be way too easy to slip back. I like where I am and I don't want to quit even though the weight loss has been minimal. Being older, the metabolism ain't what it used to be. It is going to take a while. Also, I will need to get a little more perspective on my S days if I want to lose weight. What I lose during the week, I think I am gaining on the weekends. Because of bone spurs and arthritis, my doctor doesn't want me doing anything repetitive or lifting anything heavy and I find that even walking too far bothers my knees so I know the exercise factor is also not as much of an option for me. I started taking MSM yesterday and I am hoping for miracles or at least some help in this department.

Day 17. Success!! I am really proud of myself. I am doing this and I am not giving up. Yippee!

Breakfast: Egg, french toast
Lunch: mac and cheese and green beans
Supper: Spaghetti and meat sauce and cauliflower.

Thanks so much Deb. I appreciate the support. How is your job going?

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:49 pm

Good for you Sue!!!
Wow, you aren't a baby boomer, like I thought...
You are an inbetween fifties chick and hippy girl!
LOL...

Yeah I'll let you know if Horehound tastes bad enough to scare off a hairy hound!
(actually hore, is supposed to be derived from hair, or hairy...)

Well, yeah.. breaking life long habits is sooooo hard...
And no, the metabolism, unless you are downing gallons of hoodia and xenadrine 2000, does, indeed, slow down!
Mine did... It has taken ten times more effort to lose weight than when I was ten years younger and twenty times as much as when I was twenty years younger (hmmm I may have stumbled upon some kind of correlation here!)

The magic equation is:
NoS + Exercise regularly + patience of a saint!

How much do you feel you want to lose anyway?
Just curious...
If it's not too much, it may just take a little more exercise!
Sounds like you are back to good habit structure!
Keep it up!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:55 am

Starting weight in January was 203. I am 5'6". Doctor would like to see about a 60 pound loss. Since I have been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds for about 10 years now, I'd be happy with 10-20 pound loss and then dream on from there if possible. I have tried and failed at so many diets, I don't want to set myself up for failure. Since January, I have lost 5 and since No S another pound so I have lost 6 so far this year. I promised myself that when I reach 10 pounds, I am having health nut pancakes at Ihop. Love them and used to have them often. Have not had them since January. Going into withdrawal.

Yes, I was a flower child, long hair (naturally curly which was a sin in the sixties), peace and love and all that went along with that. But that was then and this is now. Love this time too. Any time is good if you look for that time's highpoints. My husband is a social worker and works with the handicapped on their job sites. I am the complaint department in accounts payable at a company that designs and manufactures electronics. If someone has a problem with how things are paid, they come to me. We have one child, a daughter, Charity who is an incredibly gifted writer and free spirit. She can't balance her check book (I am good at that) but she makes me laugh and cry with words. We live in a small town in Wisconsin and have gardened our entire yard away. We have about 10 square feet that is not flowers, shrubs and trees. Wonderful. My husband is my best friend and a really cool guy. My hero. We have lots of cool friends who think and can also cook, drink wine and laugh. They are also great. So, that is me in a nutshell.

Now I had better get on with my day.

Post by **reinhard** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 1:45 pm

Thanks for the nutshell and congratulations on your success so far!

I was an undergrad in Madison. Great town, but a tad chilly

Looking forward to hearing about those pancakes,

Reinhard

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:25 am

Thanks for putting it so well. I do like my nutshell and it kind of took writing it to realize that. Sounds pretty good and it is.

Day 18 wow! almost there. Not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. There were some tough moments but I really needed a victory and I think I was due.

Breakfast: 2 slices of peanut butter toast
Lunch: Fish and mac and cheese and green beans
Supper: Stew made with turkey sausage, garbanzos, leeks and red peppers. Delicious.

Friday and day 19 coming up. Deep breath.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:49 am

Made it, made it, made it!!!!! A victory. It has been such a long time since I have had one. It feels absolutely great! All that is left of the 21 days is the weekend and that I certainly can do. I am proud of me.

Breakfast: egg and toaster french toast
Lunch: large salad with tuna and onion rings
Supper: grilled cheese sandwich with homemade tomato zucchini soup

Wow! I made it.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:36 pm

I am proud of me

We are too!!!!

Maazel Tov!

Enjoy your guilt free, totally well earned, S celebration this weekend!
Treat yourself to some nice treat!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:56 am

Been really busy at work. They fired one gal and another is on vacation. We are all freaking out. Too much to do and too many upset customers. I know it is not my fault but it is rough dealing the whole day with people who are upset. I tend to take it home and can't relax or sleep well.

Weather has been awesome and some short walks have improved the mood slightly.
Monday and Tuesday were both successes which makes me happy. I wanted to use work as an excuse to cheat a thousand times and didn't because I keep remembering what Simon said about no treat feels as good as success feels. Thanks, Simon.

On to Wednesday! Is it really only Wednesday???

Simon · Post by **Simon** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:24 pm

Yes, it really is only Wednesday.

Success does indeed feel great. And it lasts way longer than that doughnut will.

Me, I'm looking forward to slapping my gut sometime in the future and not seeing the ripple come around as it circumnavigates my torso. Not that I'm saying I'm fat or anything, just that since it's officially spring, I can shed my Canadian insulation and keep it off.

Much as Reinhard was chagrined at posting his Before and During pictures on the NoS homepage, they really are inspiring. I just have to keep telling myself that it's not going to happen in the first month or the first six months. Though gradual results WILL be seen. I'm shooting for about a year to see what will eventually be my "During Plateau".

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:52 pm

Success. This is getting easier every day. And I am so surprised at myself. At one time, I could have written a book on excuses to eat and blow my diet. I would always be ready to start again tomorrow on something new. If people I worked with wanted a complete description of a new diet on the market, they would ask me because I probably knew all about it or had the book, tape, calculator whatever. But now I am getting fairly compulsive about not wanting to break my record of No S days. I think that's a good thing but I don't want to get so obsessive about it that I freak out when I flub up some day as I am sure I will. I tend toward being an overachiever and am hard on myself when I don't measure up. Maybe I should plan a cheat to relieve the tension. Let's see, chips, ice cream, candy bars.... Just kidding but this is really incredible. My husband used to tell me I was obsessed with food and dieting and he was right. But I am starting to weigh snacking, seconds or sugar against my No S record and that usually does it to fight off the craving but is that good motivation or just freaky? Being obsessive compulsive may for the first time in my life work in my favor, right??? It's about time it was good for something. Haha. Now I really do have to go and make supper.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:27 am

Successes with 2 funny things. I purposely ate 1 small biscotti on Thursday night because I decided I was getting way too focused on the success thing. Now the record is technically broken so I can relax and know I am choosing not to cheat instead of it becoming a huge bigger than life thing. It felt good. Now I can move on. I got my No S mug and am using it at work. I like how it looks on my desk. It's a reminder of my commitment to this new me. It was a rough day. Jelly beans are my favorite candy in the world and someone brought a dish of them and set them out on the treat table outside my cube. I had to walk by them a million times. Didn't have any but it was a trial. It was Friday which made it worse because it was soooo close to an S day. But I told myself if I still wanted them on Saturday or Sunday, I could have them.

BigBirdUk · Post by **BigBirdUk** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 2:09 pm

Hi Pangelsue, Your account of the jellybean temptation inspired me to carry on for another day and see if i can actually make it work on Monday. Thank you! BBUK

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 11:20 am

Saturday and Sunday were too large in the sugar department. Sugar futures probably rose because of me. Felt awful both days so I really need to start asking myself if I really want what I am eating or if I am just storing up for No S days which is crazy.
Anyway, Monday, success. Work is not good. Corporate America was not a choice I would have made. I started working for a relatively small privately owned company 11 years ago and I loved it. Lots of work but lots of caring, nice people, good friends. About 6 years ago they went "global" and publically owned. I have recently started accepting the fact that during the last six years, everything I loved about the company is gone. I feel like I am living Joe versus the Volcano or Office Space (actually, I do have a pretty nice stapler). How does this fit in here in diet world, you ask? I think I am miserable at work. My niece calls any good paying job that you hate, "golden handcuffs". I have only 5 years to retirement and it is not a good job market so I feel like I am stuck. For a freedom loving person who has to remain true to herself, this is torture. It definitely affects my outlook on life and I think some of the "treat yourself with food" issues I have is because I feel so trapped for 8-10 hours a day. Quit? Can't afford to. We pretty much live from paycheck to paycheck and these are the last years we can store away nuts for retirement. Ugh! I thought I needed to say all of this but I am not sure it helped. Thank God my marriage rocks and I have wonderful friends. I guess that is what I have to focus on. If my cube had a door, I'd close it, do my work and go home. Seeing the folks I used to know and party with looking like they have been taken over by corporate zombies is too hard to bear some days. Well, speaking of work, duty calls.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:23 pm

I think I am having a night off. I was successful all day but supper had some funny stuff. I followed a good size supper with quite a few pecans. Work has just been getting worse each day and I am tired and worn out. I feel used and unappreciated. Poor me, I guess but I'm burned out and don't need any more rules to follow right now. Maybe the pecans will be the only funny stuff, maybe they won't.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:35 am

How does this fit in here in diet world, you ask? I think I am miserable at work. My niece calls any good paying job that you hate, "golden handcuffs". I have only 5 years to retirement and it is not a good job market so I feel like I am stuck

Wow Sue, I'm so sorry!!!!!
It makes total sense that your life quality/work quality effects your eating..
Are there any other outlets for your stress??
Can you bring a bottle of tequila to your work and store it in your desk???

Just kidding... I really feel for you!

Have faith!!!
Something good will happen, and feel free to keep venting here if it helps!!!
If you have a few pecans, or even a few worse choices, just forgive yourself and try to keep searching for better stress relief choices...
If you aren't going to quit, you need to find a way to create happiness within yourself and try not to invest so much of your energy into worry..
How? Well, it's hard, but I did find that yoga is very very helpful in creating a strong inner feeling of stability and joy, and meditation, even if only for ten or fifteen minutes, with some soothing soul evoking music, can help calm down the worries of the mind and reconnect you to your source...

That's my recommendation...
Hope you feel better soon!

Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Apr 21, 2006 10:24 pm

Thanks for all the wonderful words of advise. I've been in kind of a blue funk lately. It is mostly work but there are several of our friends who are also near retirement and they are all talking a lot lately about how they only have 5 or 6 hundred thousand put aside for retirement. We don't have anywhere near that. I feel like the grasshopper in the grasshopper and the ant. I fiddled and didn't store anything away for the future. Oh well, we never really had any money until now either so we probably won't notice any difference. We will have to grow our own food, make our own wine and uh... build our own cars, roof our own house, burn our furniture for fuel....... LOL!! I'll get over it. I am a dreamer but my view of life is based on terra firma. It is what it is. So I move on. Just as you are doing, Deb!

I have started the Qi Gong again. That always relaxes me as does the Tai chi. I am a little too fragmented right now for meditation.

I traded an S day last night. I needed to feel free and easy. I'll turn Sunday into an N day. It felt good. I had a couple of biscoti and some buttered popcorn while I watched TV. Felt good to be non productive.

Thanks again for the advise and the support. How did the client turn out? Was he what you hoped for ?

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 4:58 am

I had an S day to be reckoned with. Next habit will be working on reining those days in. I am sick of feeling sick by the end of the S days. They should be freeing, not sickening. Yuck! I am reminded of Simon's "What one loses in instant gratification, one subsequently gains in pride and willpower. " I have this written on a paper on my desk and I read it often Simon. You are the bomb!
Because I traded horrible Thursday for an S day, tomorrow, Sunday will be an N day. Right now, with my upset stomach, it sounds like a good thing. I feel like a 10 year old who ate all my Halloween candy at one sitting.
Night all.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:50 am

Sunday was a successful N day trade with Thursday. And Monday was a success except for a handful of Cheerios to wash down sinus medication at bedtime. Had a sinus headache and the pills make me sick unless I eat something with them so I am not counting the Cheerios (although the were yummy). On to Tuesday.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 4:58 pm

I have been having successes but the funny stuff has been creeping in because of lack of time. I have been working a lot of overtime and I don't feel much like making healthy lunches. I have been making a lot of pizza, taco type things. I have them for supper and then for lunch the next day. Lots of salt, fat and calories I am afraid. I still am sticking to the no sugar, snacks or seconds plan but the choices are questionable. I went grocery shopping yesterday and tried to buy healthier things for lunch that should be easy to toss together and I made an big lazy Susan platter of salad toppings today so that throwing together a salad in the morning might be easier. I want to free up time to wander my beautiful springtime garden and meditate.
Traded Friday for Sunday because we were having friends over on Friday. Very hectic week and I needed to feel free of rules for the meal. Felt good to relax and laugh with friends over a slow meal. Planned it with good stuff like hummus and veggies for snacks, good size salad with whole grain bread, fish, sweet potatoes and green beans for the entree and a not too sugary cranapple tart for dessert with a scoop of organic ice cream. It was great.
So today Sunday has been an N day. On to Monday.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:13 pm

I want to free up time to wander my beautiful springtime garden and meditate

I'm with you on that Sue!!!!!
Namyoho renkekyo!!!!!

Here's to our cumulative success this year Sue!!!!

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon May 01, 2006 11:51 am

Thanks, Deb, I think. What does Namyoho renkekyo mean? I tried looking it up on the internet and the only site it came up on was written in Danish. LOL! All I could get from the article was that it was Buddhist.

Snacked on some peanuts last night and a square of chocolate. On to Monday accepting funny stuff and with a renewed determination for success today.

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Mon May 01, 2006 1:53 pm

May today be a success for the both of us Pangelsue!! Don't let the funny stuff get you down. I enjoyed reading your daily check in. Have a great Monday.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun May 07, 2006 12:14 am

Had a week filled with good choices and funny stuff. Very nervous and stressful week. Flashing panic attacks and started to let the funny stuff in until Thursday. Then went cold turkey again. Panic is no excuse for or I will find other excuses too. Starting Monday, I am going to post here daily for a while again. Keeps me honest. As I've stated before, I am the queen of excuses and left to my own resources, I will find them. This diet works and it works with my lifestyle. It allows me a social life and to celebrate without guilt. I just now need to work on my head. I am very good at talking myself out of things that are good for me by telling myself that today is a bad day and I will start over tomorrow.
"The time to be happy is right now in this very moment." Right???

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun May 07, 2006 12:40 am

Good plan Pangel girl!

PS.. Whats a pangel.. is that like a bagel?

PPS... Really sorry about your stress this week Sue!
Relaxation is really a few breaths away... If you can take time, even if it means running to the ladies room to sit on the can and meditate, if that's the only private place you can find, then do it...
Try alternate nostril breathing to calm yourself down.. It's very easy... Pinch your nose and breath in through your right nostril for about four counts... Then pinch you nose off again (with the thumb and index fingers of one hand) and then hold the breath for about 7 counts... Then open the left nostril and breathe out the left nostril for about 8 counts... then repeat this starting on the left, holding the breath, then exhale through the right nostril.... Keep doing this for a few minutes and you will feel much different than when you started! Promise!
I'm no stranger to panic and freakout feelings, trust me, so believe me when I tell you that breathing is your answer...
As far as being happy now, that's a great idea... I say just be whatever you are now without trying to change it and you will feel good

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun May 07, 2006 12:51 pm

Thanks for the breathing idea. I remember going to see Andrew Weil once and he talked about alternate nostril breathing. I never tried it but I will. I just find myself overbreathing when I am anxious and then I think I hyperventilate. I usually go to the bathroom and do the breathe into a bag thing until my body relaxes and regulates itself. Real type A personality. It runs in my dad's side of the family. We are overachievers and set the bar way too high for ourselves. Perfectionists. The whole package that goes along with all of that. I really need to retire to a simpler job. I wish the job market was better. (look who I'm telling that to!!! LOL). They expect to much of their workers. Some leave the rest overachieve.

Pangelsue is a nickname that stuck from early childhood. My brother was the oldest and a real challange. My older and younger sisters were both handfuls and as a sort of middle child I was much easier to deal with (according to my mom). I rarely saw her angry at me. She always called me her angel. One day when I had been naughty, she was hollering at me at little and she said I started to pout and cry and said "me Pangelsue". That melted her resolve. The name stuck and to this day when I am being teased by my siblings, they'll say "oh I forgot, your pangelsue..."
I can't wait to start tracking again on Monday. It is easier somehow. There is a feeling of pride at the end of a successful day. I think I need that structure and of course the support of this wonderful group to keep the plan moving forward. Thank you all.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun May 07, 2006 2:14 pm

Try the alternate nostril breathing and practice it when you aren't already in a panic...
The combination of counting, and holding the breath and letting it go is just very calming...
If you are truly hyperventilating I'm not sure if that would still work..
Practice before you need it...

Try it now

Have a nice Sunday little Pangel!

Peace and Love,

Deb

ps... Reinhard's last name is Angel, just in German

Like attracts like! LOL...

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:14 am

I will try not to think about the last 4 days. It started with a Friday that was hard but I did really well. I rewarded myself with a very loose Saturday and that turned into a very loose Sunday. Unfortunately that was followed by a loose Monday and Tuesday. I thought a lot about what is happening today and I think I have some ideas. I traded the last couple of Fridays for Sundays. The first one worked. The second one didn't. I have been playing with cereals (too sweet) too much fruit, jelly on my toast and syrup on pancakes for breakfast. I have been having chips with my lunch and peanuts for a sort of dessert with supper. In other words, I have been having way too much funny stuff. All the sweets and snacky stuff is leaving me hungry and craving more. I know what works and I need to get back to it.
I am starting over tomorrow and logging again. My daughter, Charity wants to try No S too and she and I are starting together. I want this to work. When it was working, I felt great and I want to feel that way again. Actually, I have been feeling kind of bad about things in general lately and I think that has contributed to the loosening up of the rules. I want to feel good about myself again and I know this is one way to do it. I need to make slight hunger my friend again. On to tomorrow. Wish me luck.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu May 11, 2006 5:05 am

Success.
Breakfast egg, toast and grapefruit
Lunch went out to Cranky Pat's for soup, large salad and garlic bread Yum!
Supper small hamburger and a cup of bean soup.

I am a little hungry tonight but to quote Simon, "what one loses in instant gratification, one gains in pride and willpower."
Good night.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu May 11, 2006 5:16 am

You know what! I can do this!! It is time to do this! I am tired of thinking about it, reading about it stressing about it and writing about it. I am just going to do it. I think it will be easier to know I made that decision somehow. I am soooo tired of thinking about it. Feels like some sort of complicated issue and it's really not. It is just saying no and meaning it because I want "it" more than the food. I either want it or I don't. I did it for 21 days and that tells me I can do it for more. "Thou shalt have no strange gods before Me" It's about time food took second place. I can't believe how important I make food out to be sometimes. I think I need to work on what brings me to cravings rather than working on the cravings. I tell myself a lot of stressful, unhappy stuff and I need to stop doing that a little more every day. Can a cookie or a chip or a piece of cake REALLY make me less nervous or happier or less bored? That's a lot of power to give a cookie. It must be a really BIG cookie to do all that. Say goodnight Gracie... I am in a strangely contempletive mood tonight.

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Thu May 11, 2006 1:30 pm

Hi Pangelsue,

I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and some support and encouragement. You can definitely do this, like you said you've done it before. In fact you've done the 21 days before, which is no small feat. It's just a matter of, as Jan says "beginning and continuing". You had a bump in the road but that is not only natural at times, it is to be expected, so we pass through that rough spot and keep moving forward. The next meal is a new meal and the next day is a new day.

Hopefully doing this together with your daughter will help as well. I've only been doing this for 3 1/2 months but I really believe that it's ok to screw up, and really badly sometimes, even really badly and for awhile, the only thing that matters is that we get back on track and eventually that little screw up will be almost forgotten, but maybe not completely so that that more and more distant memory of it will help you deal with the next tough situation you will encounter. Or maybe you won't need the memory of that rough spot anymore as your habits get stronger each day .

So just like you said it is time to do this!!! You can do this!!!

Good luck with Day 1, keep us posted on how you're doing.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri May 12, 2006 11:20 am

Success.
Breakfast cereal and slice of toast with peanut butter
Lunch burrito and apple
Supper handful of almonds, glass of wine, broccoli, spudpuppies and chicken strips (homemade and yummy)

On to day 3

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat May 13, 2006 1:10 pm

Success!!
Breakfast scrambled eggs tst and jelly
Lunch squash, chicken strips and peas
Supper Thai beef on rice Yummy!!!
Feels good to be back on plan. My daughter is doing well too.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue May 16, 2006 3:28 am

Good weekend and better on the S day stuff. Not where I would like to be yet but did not eat just because I could.

Monday Success!
Breakfast- Cereal, raspberries and milk Toast and Peanut butter
Lunch- refried beans, rice, chicken and peppers
Supper- at my daughter's. She made rice a roni with aspargus and tomatoes and cheese. Very yummy. I did good today. I am proud.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue May 16, 2006 3:11 pm

I'm proud of you too Sue!
You and your daughter rock!!!

I just wanted to say that!
You are a nice person

Peace and Love,

Deb

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue May 16, 2006 11:33 pm

Hey Sue! Me again! LOL..
I noticed that you signed my son's guestbook on his little web page..
That was so sweet!
Thanks!!!

See you soon

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed May 17, 2006 1:52 am

Success!!
Thanks for the good comments Deb. I really needed them today. You are very special too.

I loved your son's site. Very sophisticated actually. I couldn't begin to do it. Good for him. Hope he gets a lot of response.

Breakfast: egg and toast with half a banana and some raspberries. It is sooo good to have fresh fruit again even if it isn't local.
Lunch: Some left over beef stir fry with thai peanut sauce. Good.
Supper: Small serving of spaghetti with meat sauce and asparagus. Good but spaghetti is not my favorite dish so I had a handful of peanuts for dessert. Small glass of wine.

Time for bed.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu May 18, 2006 4:46 am

Success. It is getting easier again. I have been so busy at work that the days just fly by. That is good for me in some ways because I don't focus on food so much. Actually, I have had a rather nasty couple of days that would normally have sent me going to the snacks and "treats" I would have told myself I deserved. I actually found myself saying, "no, what I deserve is the reward of seeing that scale going down. I would feel worse if it went up and why would I want to do that to myself. This has been a long time coming and I am due!!!!!" I hope that means that I am starting to change the mental chatter.

Breakfast: Went out with my husband. 2 eggs, slice of toast, a mouthful of hashbrowns(not very good) and 3 slices of bacon
Lunch: leftover orange pork stroganoff
Supper: baked haddock, spudpuppies and cauliflower. I also had a nice white burgundy. It was delicious. Handful of peanuts. Probably a little funny but not that many.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu May 18, 2006 2:21 pm

I actually found myself saying, "no, what I deserve is the reward of seeing that scale going down. I would feel worse if it went up and why would I want to do that to myself. This has been a long time coming and I am due!!!!!"

Yay Sue!!!!!!
That's awesome!!!!!
You get twenty gold stars for that moment!!!!

I'm going to do the same thing next time the "old me" says it's time for a "treat" when it's not an S day!!!

Thanks for the inspiring post!
See you later!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri May 19, 2006 4:05 am

I will be starting over on my second 21 but that is okay. I had a good day. It just had some undeniable funny stuff. I had a sandwich for lunch but for some reason it didn't stay with me. I got so hungry about 3:30, I actually felt shaky so I had a package of cheese and crackers. Not so bad but then I had to stay until 7:30. I had some supper with me but not very much and by 9:00 I was starving again so I am having some almonds and I had some of my daughter's french fries. (She eats very late). No excuses. Just funny stuff so I'll start again. My birthday is on Saturday. I hit a real bump in the road when I turned 60. Lots of Sturm und Drang and mood swings. Well, no more worrying about being 60 now cuz I'll be 61. Funny now being 60 doesn't look so bad!!! LOL

Onward, ever onward.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri May 19, 2006 1:45 pm

Have a blessed and truly wonderful birthday Sue!!!!!
Too bad your birthday falls on an S day already!
What a gyp!!! LOL....

Just kidding!

Hope you get lots of cake and celebration!!!!

Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue May 23, 2006 12:02 pm

I had a good birthday. Good friends, good food and chocolates instead of cake. My husband and I spent the day going to our favorite plant places and I bought a copper rain catcher. It looks like a string of flowers. That catch the rain and send it from cup to cup down the string. Very cool.

Well, Monday was the beginning a new 21 days and it was a success. No funny stuff.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun May 28, 2006 12:34 pm

Monday will be a start over. Ending a bad week. Need to deal with the stressors in my life, I think.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed May 31, 2006 4:06 am

I decided to take it one day at a time and let them build without a specific goal in mind. I already did the 21 and anything larger than that might be just setting myself up. One day at a time and day 1 was a success.
I had off today and I went shopping for summer clothes and sandals. I have been watching a lot of "What not to Wear" on TLC, I think. I have always hated clothes shopping because I had no concept of what to look for that would look good on my apple frame. They had some good ideas and I found some things I really like. I don't spend a lot of money on clothes so it felt good to buy several things at once.
I also came home and made some adjustments on 2 pairs of slacks for work that I bought some time ago and never wore because they needed to be altered and shortened. I haven't sewn for quite sometime and that felt good too especially because it turned out better than I thought. A good day.

On to tomorrow and back to work. Will have to remember to breathe and accept what is until the new person is trained and the pressure lets up. That will only be a month or so. I've done it before, I can do it again.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed May 31, 2006 1:08 pm

Good luck Sue!
Hey! Nice to hear about a successful clothing aquisition.. I usually hate shopping because nothing fits and all the mirrors and lighting is designed by beelzebub... Glare, horrible backgrounds enabling us to see every inch of lumps and bumps!

Hope the training goes smoothly!
Peace and Love,

Deb

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Wed May 31, 2006 8:47 pm

Hi PangelSue.

I love What Not to Wear. I watch both the TLC and BBC versions. I have learned so much from those shows. Deb, the yucking thing about shopping is that you really do have to try on A LOT of stuff and most of us don't have the patience to do that. And yes, I hate certain stores because the lighting magnifies every flaw. The other main thing I have learned is that 90% of what is on the rack will not fit. We all have different shapes. It is really just this past year that I have started to have things altered. I wish I could sew. I can only sew straight lines...

Dru

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 3:09 am

DAy 2 success. Tough day. After a week off, had a lot of cravings but right now I am feasting on success. Yay!!

Does altering things cost a lot?

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:29 am

Success.
Breakfast: bran cereal with an old favorite, blueberry milk.
Lunch: hamburger with half a bun and 1 cup of mixed vegetables. Apple
Supper: Store bought deli turkey, mashed potatoes and peas.

Still quite hungry and husband is making a chocolate dessert to take to a Master Gardener's plant sale tomorrow. I will definitely stay out of the kitchen.

Feasting on success again. Fills me right up!

cvmom · Post by **cvmom** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:30 pm

Hi PS:

I don't think simple alteration costs too much. I usually have jeans and pants hemmed and it costs about 10-15 dollars. ($5 extra to retain and reattach the seam on the denim) I'm sure extensive alteration of a lined suit jacket is more labor intensive and would warrant a higher fee. But, now when I shop for clothes I do take an accounting of what the item costs and whether or not it is worth an alteration. (Some things are cheaply made and not worth it). It is a little more time consuming because you have to go try on things (bring your heels) and then come back and try them on again, but it is worth it. I am 5' 3 1/2" so I always end up having to shorten pants. You can usually find an alterations person at your local dry cleaner. Hope that helps. d.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:59 am

I may just try it. I don't have much of a waistline and if I buy clothes that fit around my middle, they are too big through the shoulders. Or if it is pants, I always have to look for elastic waistbands because if the pants fit around the waist and they are not elastic, they are giant everywhere else. I'll have to check into it. Thanks.

Day 4 Success! I am really proud of myself today.
Breakfast: bacon, broccoli omelet toast 2 big strawberries
Lunch: mixed vegetables with a little cheese sauce and a bean burger with half a bun. (I actually took the whole bun to work with me and decided at the last minute to pitch half of it.)
Then supper: ta da!! REALLY proud. My daughter and I went out to eat for supper. We went to a nice oriental restaurant. I had one very tiny egg roll and a little wonton soup. When the main course came, it was huge. I was going to dive in and then I thought about plating. I pictured the egg roll and the soup one the plate and ate only what would fill the rest of the plate. It was hard but rewarding.

It is almost the weekend and I see pancakes in my future.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:23 am

S days are good for relaxing and I need the lack of structure. I can tell myself, I really never have to diet for more than 5 days at a time. Then I get a break. I love that. It's the embodiment of having your cake and eating it too.
Great weekend. Worked my tail off in the garden and even though I am quite sore, I got so much done.
Didn't do too bad in the food department either. Meals were great and not too large. Quite a bit of sugar though. I still believe, I am getting betther each weekend at controlling the urge to pack in the food just because it is an S day. Practice, practice, practice. And control does feel better than any treat tastes. On to Monday.

Hunter Gatherer · Post by **Hunter Gatherer** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:25 am

Sounds like things are going well for you. I agree with you on the "only five days till an S-day" feeling. It gives you such a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the week, to know that by abiding by the rules you have earned your days of rest.

I too am still working on not packing things away on S-days, although I have gotten better since the beginning. Now I'm working on saying no because the S isn't good enough to waste my time and taste buds on. I have a tendency to get things (especially sweets) just because I can. I'm trying to make my rallying cry "Only the good stuff!" and abandoning those things that aren't really worth it. I had it down for a while but I slipped back.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:56 am

Thanks for the thoughts, Hunter. Regarding weekend splurges, the inner brat in me still wants it because I wannnnnnt it. I also am trying to take the caliber up a notch on quality of the treats rather than quantity. Like this weekend, I knew it had to a root beer float. It was wonderful and everything I'd hoped for. That would have been great but then my husband brought left over dessert home from the garden fair. It was great toffee stuff and I caved in. Both treats were "cave in worthy" treats but I wish I had stuck with one or the other. Oh well, done is done. Maybe I need more of a plan for the S days but that seems so demoralizing. The whole point is 2 days off. I hope the weekends will someday be better and I will eventually choose some structure to them but until then, there can be at least 5 good days a week.

Breakfast: cereal and blueberry milk, toast and butter
Lunch: mac and cheese and broccoli
Supper: Kind of weird stuff. My daughter got rear ended into another car at a stop light. She was fine. thank God, but had some neck pain so they took her to the hospital for xrays. We were there for hours and by the time we left, she and I were both starving. We had some peanuts in the car. Then we went to a restaurant where I had to do some virtual plating. I had a cup of bean soup, 1 piece of baked chicken, a scoop of potatoes and 2 packages of crackers. I think it would all have fit comfortably on a plate but it was virtual plating for sure. I was very proud of myself though. When we got to our house afterwards, she decided to have a root beer float and my husband had hot chocolate. I had water. Felt proud but I had a little "poor me" thing going on in my head. I had to fight off some, "I deserve it for the bad day I had" thoughts. I made it but it was tough. By tomorrow I will only remember the success. On to Tuesday.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:24 pm

Another success but another rough one. The hospital called my daughter back today for a cathscan because they saw a questionable area in her neck. Told her not to turn her head a lot until they checked it out. Turned out to be nothing and all is well but between yesterday and today, I am a wreck. BUTTTTT, I still made it.

Breakfast: Toast and peanutbutter and banana
Lunch: Green beans, chicken and mac and cheese (am really getting tired of the instant mac and cheese but it is so easy)
Supper: Pork chops, small red potatoes and aspargas. May even have a piece of frech bread.

Tough day.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 12:24 am

Oh my God Sue, that must have been completely upsetting!!!

I'm very happy she's okay though, and you have my blessings to go and have some Haagen Daaz if necessary!
Good for you for being good today though!!!!

Sorry for your stressed out day..
Tomorrow is a new one!
Peace and Love,

Deb

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 12:27 am

Incidentally, if you could, try to find a good person where you live who does Cranio Sacral therapy...
Sounds like your daughter might need a good Chiro too...

Good luck and I'm happy to hear she walked away from the accident..
I have been in a handful of semi-high speed accidents over my years when I was driving for a living.. it's frightening what kind of damage can be done with a fast moving car...

Glad she's okay!
God Bless!!!
P&L,
Deb

(again!)

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:21 am

Thanks for the warm fuzzies and good thoughts, Deb. I already gave her the "see the chiropractor", "don't turn your head too much". "turn your head more to exercise it" talks. I think I have totally confused her. I am equally sure it won't stop me from nagging her some more.

Success!
Breakfast: egg, 1 slice bacon, toast and jam
Lunch: tuna, artichoke cheese melt on english muffins
Supper: chef's salad and slice of bread.

Really tough day at work. I wish I had an option. Air traffic controllers have nothing on this job at times. I watched Joe versus the Volcano again last night and I know there is so much truth there. Why do we do it? Why do we sell our souls for $300.00 a week as Tom Hanks says in the movie. I don't know but I think we should all stop more often and enjoy the view.

Deb, I think there is ice cream in my future. I am going to try to make it until Saturday because it will taste soooo much better if I don't have to trade it for success. I'm on a roll and I like it.
I am really also shooting for a positive attitude lately. Today, it was really tough to maintain though. I need an action plan about this job. I never realized how much it bothered me until I started posting. It is a good job and I like the work, there truly is nothing wrong with the job except expectation levels. Way over the top and no gratitude, praise or reward. Too bad. I'd probably really over achieve if there was a reward. Hmmmmm.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:08 pm

Really tired of the overly busy days. The weekend looks like car hunting for the daughter. I have decided to take the zen approach to my life right now and try to see the things I feel obligated to do as choices, which they are. I am feeling too much lately like I am a pawn being moved on a board by all the other bigger pieces in the game. (we all know where pawns stand in the pecking order). So I could leave my job and live on a LOT less money or risk not finding a job at all and I could let the yard grow over in grass except for a few bushes and I could distance myself from family obligations but I choose not to. Compromise. I Will carve out some personal time this weekend. (even if it kills me, haha).

Breakfast: cereal, strawberries and milk
Lunch: mac and cheese( I am soooo finding something else easy to pack for lunch next week) green beans tomatoes and extra real cheese
Supper: chicken, cold deli potato vegetable medley and broccoli

Had to work really late so I missed out on the wine I wanted so I'll just have to have an extra big glass with supper tonight. It's Friday, yipppee~~~ Looking forward to those S days.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 1:15 pm

Why not have the whole bottle!!! LOL...

Enjoy!

Yes please make time for you!
Larry, my yoga teacher said that people don't "have time" for exercise, but they would make time if someone was handing out $500 and inviting them to a big amazing party every day... LOL...
So it's really a choice... We chose what we make time for, and what are our priorities..
Make you a priority!!! You will be glad you did!!!

Back to Craniosacral therapy.. It would require nothing but laying down and passively receiving energetic healing and very subtle manipulation, not like chiropractic at all, and it helps remove blocks, and encourages the flow in the spinocerebral fluid...
Just fyi...
Peace and Love,

Deb

Hunter Gatherer · Post by **Hunter Gatherer** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:04 pm

I'm glad your daughter is okay. Things tend to pile on top of one another, don't they?

On the ice cream front, I can recommend the Mayan Chocolate by Haagen Daaz. It is very good.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:36 pm

Oooh Hunter..
What is Mayan Chocolate like?
I've never seen it around here...
But Haagen Daaz is definitely the best ice cream around...

Take care!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:25 pm

Thanks so much for helpful support and information, Deb and Hunter, that Myan Chocolate sounds just like what the doctor ordered. We are going grocery shopping. Will have to look for it. I can taste it now and it is only 7 AM. Is it nuts to eat icecream for breakfast?

Went car shopping with my daughter last night and I am now realizing how bummed she is about this whole thing. She spent the last 6 years paying off large credit card debt and will be done in July. She was looking forward to increasing the payment on her school loans and having some breathing room on spending money. Now the insurance company informed her that the blue book on her totalled car is $1200.00 less than what she owes on it. So we are looking at very cheap cars but she will still have to use most of her extra cash to cover the car payment. She hasn't mentioned it since the accident but she has been very cranky and snarky. While riding around last night she talked about how lousy this makes her feel especially because the accident was not her fault in any way. I really feel for her. Wish we could help. As a parent, feeling helpless when your child is in pain is the worst!!!!

But it is an S day for her and me. We will drown our sorrows in something sweet, salty and/or decadent. Maybe sweet and salty. I love hot fudge sundaes with spanish peanuts like Dairy Queen's Peanut Buster Parfait. Happy weekend all.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:21 am

S days good.
Monday- success all day but failure tonight. Peanuts and popcorn. Coming down with a cold and feel kind of lousy. Very, very good day though. My daughter found a nice car and after 6 years of paying off credit card debt was told that she had gone from 14 percent on a car loan to 7. She was so proud of herself, she was high all night. I am very proud of her too.

I decided something else too. I am not starting over with my counting days. It seems too diet like. I will record both and just continue on with days on the diet. So I am at 13 days of success and 1 failure. Sounds much better than starting over. Too reminicient of the old dieting days. This is forever. Ready for tomorrow.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:22 am

My new plan also makes me focus on my successes and not my failures. I am winning 13 to 1. I like that.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:11 am

Success except for 4 mini taco chips. I am calling it a success with some funny stuff. Lunch was a little too small and so was supper. Live and learn. The 4 little chips didn't really fill the void but I didn't want to blow it totally. Time to go to bed and stop focusing on food.

Breakfast: cereal, peaches and milk. (should have had toast too)
Lunch: Salmon salad and slice of toast. (salad should have been larger)
Supper: Rice mix my lovely mate created with chicken mixed in. Asparagas. (should have had a larger portion).
Oh well, it doesn't hurt to go to bed hungry, I guess. Tomorrow's breakfast is not that far away.
I am at 14 success and 1 failure.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:34 pm

My new plan also makes me focus on my successes and not my failures. I am winning 13 to 1. I like that

Great plan!!!

Yeah.. the failures do teach us stuff, but it's not good to focus your main energy on them...
It's like riding on a bumper car at the amusement park.... if you can bounce back from each little failure, instead of freaking out, you will continue to have forward momentum!

Have a nice day Sue!
Peace and Love,

Deb

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:09 pm

Day 16 was a success. So 15 and 1. I like this new plan to keep score instead of starting over. Makes me feel more successful.

I have made an important discovery for me. Salt is really my enemy. We did a lot of eating on the run and eating out last week. I didn't overdo it but my weight was way up on Monday and is only now coming down. Note to self, even going out, try to order things without sauces or have the sauces on the side. Or I can order things that are made to order and I can ask for no salt. I knew I reacted to it, just not this bad.

On to 17.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:53 am

Success except for 8 pistachios instead of a large glass of wine. But because it was a 12 hour work day and worked through supper, I am still calling it a success. When I came home, I wanted to eat everything in sight so I think 8 pistachios was a good compromise and for what I didn't eat, I'm going with success.

I am sick of computers for today so to bed with 17 and 1.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:01 pm

Hello Pangelsue!

Thank you for your encouraging posts, I think you really exemplify the "angel" in your username! You had mentioned that you were still working on getting to being at peace with yourself, and from the few posts I've read on this page from you, it sounds like there's a lot going on in your life. I know for me, things can get overwhelming and I wonder sometimes if I can keep up. If this helps, what I do at those times is simply let things that aren't "life or death" off to the side to deal with later, or see if there's someone around me who can do it for me. As a woman, I think like most women I've been conditioned since childhood to be nice and always put others ahead of me. Well, since I've separated, I say forget that! Saying no doesn't make you a b!tch, saying no is how we can then give the best of ourselves and remain healthy and sane. Just my humble opinion, hope you don't mind me sharing this.

Hope you have a great Friday, and an even better weekend. And yes, see if the fish oil helps your daughter. The other night I had some smoked salmon in the fridge, and I ate about a tablespoon of it (just took a bit that was the size of a tbsp), and that worked just as well, although if there's any issue with salt, then the fish oil is probably the better choice.

All the best to you!

P.S. I think 8 pistachios makes you a smashing success!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 7:42 pm

What good advise and I thank you for it. I have been saying more lately than I used to but it is hard for those who are living to please. Some of it is that enjoy doing all the things I do and I just won't admit there are only 24 hours in a day. I end up dog tired at the end of the day and that makes it hard to stay diet focused. I am getting better though thanks to the advise of folks like you. Unfortunately, at work, I am surrounded by folks just like me and, unbelievably, even more over achieving.

Weekend was good and enjoyable. Yesterday went well until I overestimated the amount of energy I had left after gardening all day in the sun and prepared a belated Father's day meal. I was tired and sore so I started nibbling and ate a fair (or unfair) amount of funny stuff. I topped it off with a hot chocolate while the family watched a movie together. It just didn't seem fair to abstain. Oh well, it was delicious. The day however was definitely not a success. So I am at 18 and 2. I am still winning and I feel good about it.

This path is my life · Post by **This path is my life** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 8:11 am

Pangelsue,

I was happy to see many of your recent posts have been positive ones. I haven't checked in a little while, and I know when I did before that you had been having some trouble because of your daughter's accident and just maintaining a positive attitude/place. I'm glad you're on a roll. Go Pangelsue!!!

I have say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE your idea of continuing your count forward despite successes. For me personally that's such a great idea that fits me very well, and I also will adopt that if you don't mind, because you're right, it does make us focus more on our successes than failures.

Also, I'm glad I read this right before I start my focused effort to make it to the 21 day club. You see, I've already technically made it before, but I felt that I wanted a documented and "perfect" 21 days. Now I feel more flexible though, although following No-S as closely as possible will still be my goal.

On being a people-pleaser, I was one too. I think it was partially my mindset which included being a people-pleaser and a perfectionist that originally led to my healthy attitude towards food. However, No-S + time has thankfully repaired much of that. We should take comfort, because at least in my opinion we are definitely on the right path. No-S is sanity, No-S is health, and No-S is for life. At least for me.

Have a great day!!!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:41 am

Wonderful thoughts to grow on. You all help put things in perspective and I truly thank you for that. When people are in the middle of a rough spot, perspective is what is lacking. It is too easy to feel trapped and helpless and perspective makes the options shine through. Thanks.

19 and 2 with a little funny stuff. Worked 12 and was hungry when I came home so I had a handful of nuts. Still counting it as a success though because I walked around with a dollar in my pocket all day at work and actually went to spend it 3 times at the vending machine but all three times decided to wait another hour or so. If that isn't a successful day, I don't know what is. Training our new person today so the day will fly by. That's good because I think about snacking less. Looking for a success.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:38 am

Total success today. Wasn't even particularly hungry. Isn't it odd how it goes with hunger levels?? Charity and I had a lovely time after supper sitting around a fire outside with a gimlet. Very relaxing and had a really nice talk. One of those memorable moments in parenthood. Today life is good.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:19 am

Hi Pangelsue, sounds like you have had a lovely day.

Well done on todays success and thanks for the kind words over on my check in.

With regards to my different meals - most of them have one thing in common - they are very easy and require very few cookery skills - I'm basically very lazy when it comes to cooking - and do as little as possible