Deb's Check-in

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Tue May 31, 2011 12:36 pm

I don't have much of an issue with night eating because I would get killer heartburn but I do have bad problems somewhere between 4 and 5 in the afternoon. I am tired and it is a while until supper. I feel actual hunger and want to make up all kinds of excuses to munch something. So I know where you are coming from.
Sorry to hear about your dad. We feel we deal with those times in our lives when they happen and move on but we really don't. Grief takes it own nasty time to work out. I always start out with anger and it takes me months to move on to tears. Then when everyone else has adjusted, I am up in the middle of the night crying and grieving. Glad you took the time you needed to work through your grief.
Can't believe your son is a teenager. Amazing. Is he still No Sing with you? Or urban rangering? Or is he too old for all of that?
I love doing Sudoku and I have been using that as a reward, along with a cup of tea, when I get mid afternoon snack attack. I doesn't make me feel any fuller but it is a reward for being good. Is there something you would really enjoy doing for yourself when you get hungry at night? Maybe some other kind of reward would help you slay the snack monster.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:13 pm

thanks so much for your kind words sue

yes my son is basically following NoS but he does have some snacks during the week. the main problem he had in the past was with over sweeting, and he's very compliant about only having treats on the weekend now, and often times he passes them up even then, which i admire greatly as it shows he's really become much more selective. as far as urban rangering, he's far surpassed me and is actually my inspiration these days for that. for a few years now, he's been on the school cross country and track and field teams and he's gone from having a hard time running two miles, to being able to run up to 6 miles nowadays! he's even training now to do a half marathon this july!

he looks amazing and has totally lost any sign of "baby fat" and persevered through the times when many others would have gotten discouraged and given up. i'm extremely proud of him!

anyway, i'm pleased to announce that after weeks of mess-ups and lots of red on my calendars, i had a triple green day yesterday!! Success on NoS, Urban Ranger and No Eating at Night!
I have to say that walking in the morning really helped to have an overall successful day, as it kind of set the tone for the day. i'm usually an early evening walker, but i am realising that if i walk in the morning i will have more of a chance of succeeding on both eating and walking fronts, as there's less chance that i'll procrastinate till it's too late to go out for a walk and i'll be more motivated to stick to NoS, when i know i've already gotten my green mark for Urban Ranger.
i'm just going to finish my coffee now and go out for another walk. and this time, i am going to take a benedryl tablet before i go because i don't want the same thing to happen to me as yesterday (see my "walking again" thread on Urban ranger discussion section)
have a great day everyone

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:35 pm

Congratulations to your greens. Go green!
Also, I am so glad to hear your son is doing so well and making incredible choices. They will stand him in good stead throughout the rest of his life.
I am still working on my afternoon snack attack problem. I have been doing some questionable snacking while making supper but I get sooo hungry. I have debated making a mini snack midafternoon but then I realize that I am messing with the plan again. Last time that was the slippery slope for me. So I tell myself that if most people in third world countries have to be ok with one small meal a day, I'm just whining if I am unhappy and supposedly hungry on only 3 large meals. When I look at it that way, it helps me realize I should just move on and suck it up. LOL.

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:40 pm

What a nice update on your son! You have taught him such important lessons about eating and exercise..and done it by example, not preaching or demands..and left the final decision to him.. In my book, that is just about perfect parenting!

Be very proud of yourself as well as him!!
Great to see you getting greens!! You have really been working toward that goal and it is yours..yea!
I too am a morning walker. I feel more in control of my whole day if I get a 30 minute walk in before 10. I like to walk by myself and just "reflect" on whatever comes to mind. If I do walk with someone, I still need a bit of time to do my reflective thinking if I want my day to be as calm as possible. i think that every one of these little things we discover about ourselves as we do this No S journey is important and helpful. Happy walking!!
Oh..just wanted to mention that I have not had a heartburn problem since I have been using your suggestions. For that, I owe you big time!! thanks for caring!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:06 pm

Hi Deb,
Thanks for the lovely post on my thread. I left a huge post there this morning. I think some ideas are starting to coalesce for me.
I like your suggesting about partnering up on our goals and plans. You are right. We both have a daunting amount of weight to lose and we have both been at it long enough to know it is a process. We can help each other stay positive and focused. Drop by anytime to talk about whatever you like. I certainly will too. For 2 people who have been here as long as us, it ought to be a cinch, right?? Hmmmm.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:43 pm

Grammy G wrote: Oh..just wanted to mention that I have not had a heartburn problem since I have been using your suggestions. For that, I owe you big time!! thanks for caring!

i'm so glad the suggestions helped you grammy!!! that's great news!!!

you don't owe me anything... what goes around comes around... maybe i will rack up some kind of karmic good points or be endowed with extra will power to meet my goals as a reward..haha that would be good!!

thanks sue and grammy for your kind words. i'll have a look at your thread now sue.
have a great day

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:37 pm

ok i just went thru pages of posts on my thread in search of what i thought my highest weight was when restarting NoS a few years ago, and all i could find was that i had reached 247 lbs.. but, i remember that there were several months where i didn't write down my weight because i had been steadily gaining, and i distinctly the number on the scale going up to 259, and feeling totally upset about it as that was more than the weight i was when i was 9 months pregnant, and exceeded my previously highest weight ever. i wish i had written it down though to be sure, but i really do remember seeing that 259 on the scale and freaking out.

i just wanna document my weight now and how much i've lost in the past few years, so i don't have to go by memory again in another year or so. last week i was 235 lbs, which means that to date, i've lost 24 lbs since actively trying to lose weight a few years ago. i went down even more during the winter but that was due to my illness and digestion problems.. i had hit 225 but i gained back 10 lbs quickly after i was able to eat normally again.

ok so i haven't weighed since last week but i'm going to post my current weight as 235 (i will edit this if i have to when i weigh later on)..my ultimate goal is to get down to around 155.
wow that seems so far away, and so much to lose, but i'm not giving up. i will get there no matter how much time it takes!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:46 pm

Deb, congrats on your success!

If you were originally 259, you have 1-2 more pounds to make a 10% weight loss - which is a MAJOR milestone! That's considered significant in terms of health.

Also WW uses 10% increments too, so that your "next goal" is always 10% of the starting weight... when you reach it, you set the next target. You didn't get to set your "final goal" until normal BMI fell within your 10%, because you don't know what will make sense to your body until you're close to it.

(While there were a lot of things about the program that didn't work for me long-term, I think this is one of the sensible pieces.)

Congrats on your milestone - and on your honesty. Truth-telling on touchy subjects takes courage, which should be applauded. So I am.

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 4:55 pm

Deb, that is great news. Just imagine piling that many pounds of rocks or potatoes or whatever in a bag and carrying it around with you all day and sleeping with it all night. That wouldn't be very comfortable. I am sure you are already feeling better.

Keep at it, girl

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:04 pm

Deb...you have not only lost weight..think of all the insights you have gained! I value the community here and all the things I have learned ablout myself since joining NoS. I know you feel the same. I like KCCC's comment about making 10% weight loss the focus. I think she is right, that is a good way to deal with a weight loss. I "came back" to No-S at 203 and my low (not today

) is 196.5. Not a great amount, but I'm getting there. What I have noticed is a different attitude toward food and eating. That would have never happened if I had been doing WW with a plan I had to follow. What WE are doing is taking charge of our own lives and doing something about it! Yeah for us!! Let's do the Happy Dance!!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 6:31 pm

What great common sense advise from all your friends. The 10% plan is an awesome one. So is Strawberry's commonsense ideas of picturing the weight you are no longer carrying around. And G's thought that weight loss is not what helps us most. Finding and caring for ourselves has to be our ultimate goal. There was a guy on Biggest Loser this year who was having a rough time and needed daily encouragement. He wrote the weight he was looking for on his arm in magic marker until he reached it. He always made it small increments. Then it would be there in plain sight whenever he felt like going off his plan. At the end of the show, he had lost 181 pounds. He went from 400 to 219. He had a permanent tattoo done on his arm to forever remind himself of what his journey meant to him. I think food has very little to do with the journeys we are on. A tattoo is maybe a little too heavy for me but posting like this is great motivation.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:33 pm

thanks kccc, strawberry, grammy and sue!

yes strawberry, you're right. recently i had to help my son carry his school back pack in to the house and it's insanely heavy.... he insists on keeping everything in there and i've been trying to get him to lighten it up, but he won't.. i wanted to see how much it weighed and so i stood on the scale and then weighed with the bag too, and it was 24 lbs. it was a nice reminder to me of exactly how much weight that really is, and no i wouldn't want to carry that around with me. don't get me wrong guys, i'm really thrilled about my weight loss so far

i do hope i can speed it up this year somewhat. i'd be very happy to lose 20 to 30 lbs in a year. we'll see... i'd really have to crank up my exercise and make some small adjustments to how i'm eating, and really try to have less night time failures. still, as long as i don't give up, i know i will slim down over time

i have some pics of me "before" and i was thinking of posting them along with a more current one, but to be completely honest, i feel like crying every time i look at my before pic. but there's a very noticeable difference, and i remember how i felt the day i decided to get back to actively doing NoS and exercise, when i was hiking with my Son at Bear Mountain and thought i'd have a heart attack just from some light strolling around the area.. now i can walk for a few miles, or climb stairs, etc which would have really difficult before, with much more ease. that's one of my primary motivations for losing weight. i just really want to actually feel light and energetic. it's just as much a motivating factor as is wanting to look nice

thanks so much for all of your encouragement guys!
hugs
debs

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:28 pm

I would opt for putting a picture of a hill or mountain you want to climb on the refrigerator and skip the before and after pictures if the before ones make you want to cry. Our journeys should inspire us, not make us sad. Enough of that kind of thing in every day life. The past is past and the future is all we can change. Maybe set yourself a goal for exercise that you can manage. Mine is currently to do a half hour in the garden every day. That is all that seems doable to me right now. I will have to work it up from there some day. Best of all, like you just as you are. It will be easier if you do. So many people on this system don't like themselves and are trying desperately to not be that person anymore. I would wish for all of us to like ourselves so much we want to be good to ourselves and nurture ourselves. Then dieting would be so much easier and we would stop hurting ourselves.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:45 pm

that's a lovely wish sue, thank you! hugs

well i have been having some night time fails still.. but not huge in terms of amount.. for example for a few nights this week i've eaten a few handfuls of blueberries. i've decided that on days when i've been compliant through out the day, on NoS but i still end up eating something at night, i am going to mark my NoS habit cal with a green, and just give myself a red mark on the No Eating at Night habit cal. i still consider that an overall failure for the day, because it's snacking, but, it will help me see that at least i was compliant during the day, and i will be able to see the difference between a day i failed because of a day time break in the rules, versus one that was because of night time eating, which for me is really a problem in and of itself, separate from NoS. i don't seem to have a problem with snacking or sweeting etc during the day. on those days that i just throw out the rules to eat something i shouldn't, i will give myself a red for NoS.
on another note, i've switched from whole milk to 2 percent fat organic milk.. i normally don't get stuck on worrying about calories much.. however, i realised that i was drinking two to three cups or more a day, and that is actually a lot of calories. 150 per cup for whole and 120 for 2 percent. yes, whole milk is yummier. in fact so yummy that i think i was drinking twice as much as should have just because i was enjoying the taste so much.. it was almost falling into the "snack" category..
2 percent, so long as it's organic and a good brand, seems to be ok.
i think, with all else being equal, this should help me lose a bit more, as i'll be cutting between 700 and 1400 calories or so per week this way.

i'm really looking forward to having a nice S weekend and some quality treats with my Son! today is his last day of school and he only has to go back for final exams for about 6 days in the next 2 weeks!
have a great day and weekend guys

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:09 pm

Boy, do I agree with Sue2!!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:14 pm

just a quick update: one, doing the switch to 2 percent milk didn't work as i was just adding more milk to make up for the fact that it was too watery.. so i am back to whole milk.. but i only have two cups of coffee a day on average so i'm not gonna worry.. i am however trying to not guzzle more than one or two small glasses of milk on top of that a day, as it really is a lot of fat.
also, my night time eating has been horrible still, so far, but i know it will get back under control with enough attention. i am not ignoring it, and writing down my red days as they occur and just observing them.
on the positive side i had a really nice and long walk today.. i walked 2.43 miles, and it was just about twice as much as i had previously walked in my last two months since i've started walking again. i need to get out there more tho, as i have had only about a 30 percent success rate on daily walking.

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:46 pm

I wonder how long we overweight people have been feeling guilty for eating and afraid to question our motives. I sometimes think we have all spent so much time feeling we lack willpower, motivation, drive, stamina, character etc, that we never really addressed the messed up relationship we all have with food and eating. We agonize over our obsession with food and beat ourselves up when we cave and eat some forbidden item. Then because we have proven to ourselves how weak and unworthy we are, we go nuts and eat everything in sight. After all, if we are X number of pounds overweight, there must be something wrong with us. We assume it is the food. I don't think it was ever about the food. Just like some people gamble to make themselves feel better, or drink or scream at their kids or beat other people up, we stuff food until we don't hurt anymore. Eating is cheaper than counseling and easier than slugging our way through what is really bothering us.
I am trying this time around to make it not about the food. I am also not telling myself that unless my plan is vanilla, I am a failure. I am searching for MY plan. I am trying to demystify food once and for all. Food does not have some all powerful sway over me and I am not a weak person. I have just convinced myself (helped by thousands of subtle and not so subtle messages in diet books, TV ads and things people say about the power of food ) that I have to be ever vigilant so my WEAKNESS doesn't overtake me and all will be lost unless I follow some magical plan that will save me from myself. I'm a thinking reasonable adult and I can do this. I need to find out what works for me and what doesn't. To that end, I will no longer fear any specific food or any specific craving. I will make good and bad decisions. I will discard the bad ones (setbacks, not failures) and keep the good ones. The decisions I make won't work for everyone. They may just work for me. KCCC gave me my mantra recently. She said "If it's not about hunger, it's not about food." That is the yardstick I am trying to use to deal with food. I am my own test marketing firm and I am finding out finally what the market that is me really wants to eat. I found out last week eating chocolate every night after supper, that I am really not that crazy about chocolate when I take the forbidden away from it. I also found I eat a lot when I feel powerless and that I hate that feeling more than anything so I will work on that instead of covering it up by eating.

Long story, I know. I just reread how hard you are working on giving up the night eating. Maybe for you, a snack at night is a good and healthy thing. Reinhard says in his intro that he never said how many meals to have a day. You might need 4. Maybe your blood sugar drops at night and you need a pick me up. Work the calories off with exercise or virtual plate them off the rest of your meals so the snack doesn't matter. Ask yourself why you want that snack. Give full permission to eat it for a while and see if it loses its allure or if your body is happier with it.

We all need to fear food less and trust our real selves more. Try and try until we find the right path for us. Just my sermon for a Sunday morning.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:57 am

Pangelsue2 wrote:I just reread how hard you are working on giving up the night eating. Maybe for you, a snack at night is a good and healthy thing. Reinhard says in his intro that he never said how many meals to have a day. You might need 4. Maybe your blood sugar drops at night and you need a pick me up.

hi sue, thanks so much for your thoughtful reply

no, my night time eating is not a result of having my blood sugar drop at night.. usually i don't even feel the slightest feeling of hunger when i do this. it's purely a bad response to stress, plain and simple. i do allow myself to eat at night, but my "no night time eating" rule is specific for me... i allow myself to eat food at night, so long as it's a meal, or an S on an S day, but once i go to sleep, i am not allowed to eat after that. when i say i have problems eating at night, i am talking about at 2 or 3 am... there is no way that eating at that time of night is healthy.. most of the time i don't even remember what i had the next day, as i'm half asleep. i think the only actual purpose this kind of eating might serve, would be to tranquilise me to go back to sleep.
much better to just grab a big glass of water and get back in bed.
hope you have a great week

debs

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 5:25 pm

oh boy, this month i am just doing terribly

after tomorrow, which is my birthday celebration with my family, at an all vegetarian indian buffet, i am going to really focus on getting my exercise in. that's what i'm mainly upset about. i'm not sick anymore, and i am still extremely sedentary and just feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
i have to get this weight off and get back into moderately good shape again.
sorry but i had to vent.
i also think i may get rid of the No Eating at night separate Habit Cal. it's just getting too depressing to see all this red.
i'll check in again next week.
have a nice week all.

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:50 pm

Hope you had a very Happy Birthday and your new year is starting off well. I always see my birthday as a good starting point and goal point, do you?
i am sorry to hear your problem with breaking that night time habit..and it sounds like that is what it is.

How about some Sleepy Time tea with a bit of milk and cinnamon? maybe have the cup out and ready to go with the tea bag in it so all you must do is heat up the water. That would make it a one step process and almost as easy as grabbing something form the frig.
I just borrowed a DVD called something like "Yoga for Arthritis" from a friend. I don't have an arthritis problem but this DVD was a great "feel good" series of exercises that can be done in a chair or not. I am going to order one because I felt so much of my stress gone when I completed it. I slept like a baby last night.. I think the exercises released stress in my neck and shoulders that I wasn't even aware I had. Might help you get through the night! If you want to know more, let me know. Don't give up!

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:20 pm

Happy belated birthday. The Indian vegetarian meal sounds like a wonderful way to have celebrated it.
I agree with you about getting rid of the snacking Habitcal. It can be very demoralizing to see a whole string of failures. With trying to stick to No S, trying to exercise, and trying to change ingrained habits, maybe it is attacking too many things at once. You mentioned you went through a rough time recently and are just getting yourself back on track. Be gentle with yourself. Choose just one thing and stay with it until you are ready to move on to the next. Maybe just strive for vanilla No S with four meals to include the night time snack. While you are doing that, give some thought to the night time snack and why it is so important. Play some psych yourself out games with it. Make the snack and look at it for a minute or two. It is answering some need in you or it wouldn't be that hard to break. Free float and maybe something will pop into your head about why you feel you need this right now enough to wake up and have it.

I mentioned on my thread about how I am adding a less than 100 calorie treat at the end of a successful day. I still am. I had one of the roughest winters of my life coupled with having a lot of stress right now. I want and need that treat at the end of a successful day of staying on track. I hope to one day get rid of it, but for right now, I think it is a very important thing making it possible to stay on track with the rest of the day. I agree with Grammy and KCCC and many others who are finding their way on this diet. Be good to yourself. Listen to your needs and try to make the plan successful while meeting those needs. I might be wrong, but would it be easier to plan on the nighttime snack by taking it off the other 3 plates during the day? Then you would be doing a 4 meal day but staying vanilla on that personalized plan. Just a thought. With my 100 calorie treat, it has made it very easy to stay focused the rest of the day.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:41 pm

thanks so much grammy and sue

i appreciate your support and ideas very much

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:16 am

Hi Deb, just stopping by as I wanted to see how you are doing? You were so kind to welcome me here when I first started.

I hope you find yourself in a better place. I know nighttime eating was and can be my downfall. But that is a good idea of making a habitcal for that scenario.

I know you have been around for awhile, but can you eat dinner later? I have been holding off until close to 7:00 if possible, seems to ward of any nighttime binging for me. Not always easy when I see my husband snacking...

Feeling saner than I ever have is something I hope I can hang on to. The diet mentality is a killer.

Deb