Everyday Systems

Long-standing depression is often maintained by a narrow range of avoidant behaviours that work against achieving pleasure and real satisfaction in life. I’m trying a 21-day habit development behaviour experiment to not do the avoidant behaviours, such as alcohol, withdrawing socially and watching tv passively, and to take action on two long-term goals I want to achieve: mastering the tango and finishing my novel. There are other behaviours I want to encourage: rising early, eating and exercising regularly and moderately, but these are subsidiary.
The intention is to make public commitments to 21 consecutive days of doing what I said I would do, and avoiding what I said I would avoid, with as much social feedback as possible. For example, I have said that I want to avoid alcohol for the duration, so have arranged to be breathalysed each morning for the first week. I have arranged to e-mail a confederate each morning and report if I did what I said I would do.
21 days is long enough to be challenging, but short enough for motivation to be maintained. To make it easy to remember and track, it starts on 1st Feb and finishes 21st Feb. Also important is that it has a clear
It is a behaviour experiment, with the intention of seeing what happens when I try to develop the behaviours, rather than a matter of success or failure.
If it seems worthwhile, I may try a similar experiment in March 1st-21st.
I have not decided if using Twitter and Facebook is a good idea. On the one hand, it seems trivial and self-regarding, the kind of thing I criticise other people for. I might also look ridiculous. On the other, it feels like the stakes are higher than posting onto a behaviour-change forum, which is a pretty safe place.
I intend to post a journal at least daily on Everyday Systems.

Today (feb 1) was day 1 of my 21-day behaviour experiment. It has been a partial success, in that I consistently did things I said I would do, but didn’t take action on the larger, more challenging activities.
I got up at 7:00 and sent the e-mail to my collaborator that I said I would. I ate sensibly at work (porridge + fruit, soup), and talked about my food-at-work intentions with colleagues, who were generally supportive. I have been ill this week, and am run down and low on energy, and my work performance has been poor. I initiated a discussion about developing useful work disciplines with my line manager, which is in line with my overall approach. I also attended a job interview, which used up some will power.
After work, I avoided alcohol, but did not avoid watching TV passively, and did not exercise, write my book or dance/ study the tango. Other actions that I said I would do, and did, are keeping a journal, and going to bed earlier, prepared for rising early tommorow.
Part of running a behaviour experiment is specifying the outcomes in advance , so that they can be assessed at the end. I put some work into this today, so that it is nearly complete. The desired change is to change from narrow range of avoidant behaviours to a stimulating pallate of flourishing behaviours.
Passively wasting time watching TV without even enjoying it is an avoidant behaviour I want to stop.
The idea is to replace it with reading. Reading can be an avoidant behaviour itself, but it can have some positive qualities. What I find is that reading stimulating books practices the part of my mind used for writing, and it is easier to get down to writing. Also, reading stimulating books gets me thinking about how the authors achieved the effects they did, which helps with the effects I am trying to create in writing. I am about half way through Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, which is easy and pleasureable to read, and I am looking forward to reading it again. When I have finished it, I will feel a sense of achievement in having read it.

I have many activities prepared for tommorow, such as rising at 7:00; listening to a writing course on CD; exercising at home; etc etc. The hope is that these virtuous activities become regular and practiced, and I will eventually be able to maintain them without expending very much will power.

I have been looking at a lot of habit forming and goal tracking web applications over the last few months, and may report my thoughts on them in the next three weeks.

Signing off until mid-morning, Saturday 2nd Feb.

I haven’t done that well today, although there are several things that are going well. I read too late into last night, and rose later than intended - I didn’t set the alarm. I know that the initial period of non-drinking is often associated with disrupted sleep. I avoided alcohol without any strain; I found it easier to stop watching the TV when the programme I wanted to watch was over, as well as being able to choose to read rather than passively watch TV. However, I didn’t do any exercise, writing or tango today. I am still in a low energy state, and had chores to do.
I did a lot of reading. This is a mixed thing. Partly it is a better way of avoiding the pain of lonely unstructured time than TV & drinking, but also finishing stimulating books is a good achievement; it exercises the writing part of my brain and develops ideas about writing.Thinking about it, it would have been better to have done gentle, persistent exercise to raise my mood and energy, and talked to telephone helplines to act against isolation.
I still have the dissonant sense that I didn’t do what I said I would do, without sedating it with alcohol, etc.
I have everything prepared for 7:00 rise tomorrow.

You've certainly got a HUGE amount laid out for yourself. Sounds very detailed. You have a lot of words pouring out of you, how many pages do you write on your novel each week?

Hi HoeHanna

Thanks for reading my posts. There are no writing stats at the moment. At the moment, the aim is just to increase the regularity and volume of writing, not count it.

Getting started at 8:00 am, which is good. Avoiding the booze makes the mornings easier - more energy, clearer mind, better mood, easier to be motivated to do what I said I would do.
Ideally, a good outcome from the behaviour experiment would be that I find I have more willpower than I thought I did, and that it is easier to direct it towards the challenging goals that lead to a satisfying life; also that less dramatic but just as important behaviours (rising, eating sensibly, watching less TV, etc) become habits that require little willpower to maintain.

Having spent years fiddling and procrastinating and trying and failing, I now have a mountain of interesting research. Now that my mind and energy is a bit clearer, it is a fascinating place to spend time. I chose everything in it on the grounds that they were interesting, so perhaps that’s not surprising. It’s clear there is way too much to be squeezed into one novel, even one as discursive as mine.
I spent a couple of hours this morning sorting and collating all the stuff I have, and it was nice to find this an enjoyable and relatively easy task. The practice I am after is one of increasing clarity, working out what stays in this project, what can be saved for something else, and what can go. After that, there is digesting the bits that can stay- that is, working out what is interesting, and it’s place in the story.
I have a set of lectures on CD about the technical side of writing, which is very useful. The point is to work out how to express the ideas I am interested in in a good enough story. I’ve done a couple of hours mining the research mountain, so now I am off to listen to a lecture whilst exercising. Good! Taking regular action towards achieveing my goals!

Feb 3. 21:30
Did well today. Apart from getting up at 8:00 rather than 7:00, I did everything I said I would - I did tango, didn’t drink, worked on the novel and walked for 90 minutes across town. I have been eating comfort food over the weekend, and will switch to a more disciplined diet for the working week. Tonight, I will get everything ready for rising early and work tomorrow. The challenging time will be around 3:30 in the afternoon, when there is a slump in energy and mood. This generally goes on until 7:00 or 7:30. The strategy is to expect it, with a planned snack at 4 pm, and a planned programme of action for when I get home. Although I generally have disturbed sleep in the first few days of non-drinking, I know I will feel more energetic in the morning.
Tomorrow I have to make up for last week’s poor performance at work, but it shouldn’t be too hard to catch up with the work, especially if I get into work early. The ideal plan is to exercise before work in the flat - I have a step machine - but tomorrow it would make more sense to get into work and get going.
It will also be sensible to be better hydrated, so will settle down with a film and a big bottle of sparkling water before bed.

Not a bad day. In work early to catch up with work after last week. Did not eat too badly. Did not get sucked into watching TV. No Tango or exercise, but lots of work on the novel. 0 units alcohol.

18:00 Difficult time of day. There is always a slump of mood and energy from around 3:30 pm to around 7pm. Part of the intention is to become more resilient during this period, when little productive work can be done. I have been in the habit of slumping in front of the TV with whiskey at this time, and writing off the rest of the evening. Having got to day 5 of 21 days without booze, I feel that it is unlikely I will drink this evening, although there is still plenty of time to not do what I said I would do. BTW It never hurts to see another ‘Calories in alcohol’ infographic http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/calor ... nfographic . I have tango lined up for tomorrow and the day after, so that feels good - that is, stronger in my intention to do what I said. There are many chores to do at home, so the idea is to do some gentle exercise, some gentle cleaning and tidying, a tasty meal, a little work on the novel. In London it is currently dark, 4’C, strong WSW wind with prospects of rain, sleet and snow - it would be good to get out of the flat, but it would be sensible to get myself as prepared for it as possible. The idea is to conserve my willpower and use it for the things I want to achieve, not blow it on fighting the weather. Lots of good reading and avoiding-the-TV to be done. Will check in after 22:00 to record how things went.

kudos to you, good to see you are hanging tough. I have some cabbage roasting in the oven for dinner. It's 5:07 p.m. here, it should be done about 6. I'll eat it with some grilled chicken and I'll juice a small glass of juice I make out of beets, sweet potato and carrots for "dessert". I've decided to work out during commercials tonight and given how many are on tv during 3 hours of prime-time, that will total over an hour of workout time. Great plan, we'll see how it pans out. I'm actually a recovering alcoholic so I kinda feel for ya. Good luck.

Thanks HoeHannah - Keep going. I think the Everyday Systems emphasis on conserving willpower is really useful.

I use a step machine for exercise. One technique I use when watching TV (etc) is to repeat 1 minute stepping + 1 minute resting. It’s very good if getting started is a problem, because 1 minute exercise is always possible, no matter how low or tired I am. Watching TV or listening to CDs (etc) keep it from being boring. With the 1+1min technique, I can exercise for an hour or so without feeling mentally or physically exhausted. It raises my mood and energy, rather than feeling drained after a serious workout. I sometimes do 1 min exercise + 1 min tidying up, if the flat needs it.

Well, day 5 was not a terrible day, even if it didn’t feel great. In work early, productive day at work. Worked all evening on the novel, and no alcohol. No tango or exercise, though, and worked with the TV on.

My son is coming to stay next monday, so I want to get everything ready for that - flat clean and tidy, all food shopping done, lots of activities planned. It's really important to have things to look forward to. One of the really difficult things about depression is that feeling like there is nothing to look forward to makes getting through the tough times, or the normal-and-uninspiring times, much harder. It really helped to focus on doing small things when my energy was low, and give them full value, recognising the reality of depression.

Anyway, must get everything prepared to do it all again 7:00 tomorrow.

Feb 6. Things are going OK. Up at 8:00, rather than 7:00, but moderately productive day + reasonably sensible eating at work, no alcohol, several hours tango, no slumping in front of the TV. However, no significant work on the novel. I suppose I could put the tango down as exercise-part-success, although really I mean a separate activity, and one more strenuous than tango. I had to control myself at the dance from getting a beer. I said I didn’t want to drink for the first 21 days in Feb. It was close, but I managed to avoid it. Still an endless list of things I haven’t done, like getting the flat ready, washing up, etc etc but overall the days are generally getting better. I am writing this at 1:30 am on Thursday, so must sleep soon. I have some reading about habits that I haven’t fully understood yet, but looks interesting.

No alcohol feb 7th.

I am not doing too badly with doing what I said I would. I am flu-ey and run down. The non-drinking is a key thing, and that’s going very well. I have tango tonight, which is OK, although I am not full of energy. I am not getting any work done on the novel, apart from reading.

Not a great day. Full of illness and rage. However, I managed to get up early, do tango and avoid alcohol, which are two main things and one subsidiary thing. I avoided TV, which is subsidiary. I didn’t work on the novel apart from background reading but there wasn’t time. Perhaps the goal during week days should be avoid alcohol, and either tango or novel, with tango and novel at the week ends. I am hot and feverish and tired but not sleepy. I have prepared everything for getting up tomorrow, but it does rather depend on what time I get to sleep. Anyway, it feels good to have a clear plan of what I am going to do tomorrow when I get out of bed.

Saturday 16:25. An extremely difficult day. Very angry and isolated, very high levels of physical discomfort and negative feelings. Managing not to drink, which is good. Can't even read. Tried watching the rugby on TV, but does not engage my interest.

40 mins exercise done. Might do 20 mins more this evening.

Too feverish to do more exercise or avoid TV. No alcohol

Still feverish - asleep until 10:30 am. Slightly weak. Will be glad when this cold weather is over. Have tango this afternoon, so the idea is to thoroughly prepare for that: hydration, paracetemol, some food, wash, stretching and study tango DVD, gentle exercise to raise energy levels and address depressive symptoms.

I am using the yellow 'Exempt' code on HabitCal to mean 'partially achieved'. For example, doing 15 minutes exercise is useful to raise energy and stop being sedentary, but it is not enough to be 'goal achieved for today.'

I have a hunch that recording partial success is useful, which I haven’t completely worked out yet. probably during the period between starting to take action to establish a habit and the habit becoming established, especially if the behaviour is challenging and drains willpower. I suppose it depends on if one is more motivated by the positive message of ‘I am making progress’ or the negative message of ‘I didn’t do what I said I would.’ I suppose the intention of behaviour tracking is to reduce the willpower required to do a desired behaviour.

Feb 11 Mon

Still cold- now snowing. Very feverish. Up at 10:00 despite repeated alarms from 7:00 onwards.

There is something about perseverence - that is, continuing to take action on desired goal despite sub-optimal willpower conditions.
There is something about recognising sub-optimal will-power conditions and adjusting the scope and pace of activity to make them acheiveable in current conditions. The behavioural or developmental goal of developing disciplined habits is to recover faster from will-power depletion to take on the tasks that one has set oneself: similar to increasing physical fitness, as measured by decreasing time taken to return to resting heart rate after physical exertion. The achievement goal of developing disciplined habits is to do the things you said you would do. Self-discipline is not indicated by the feeling of a self-imposed constraint, of ‘pushing oneself’. Self-discipline is indicated by doing what one said one would do, whether one feels like it or not. The feeling of pushing oneself might well occur, but it is quite possible to act with discipline without it, and to feel it without getting anything useful done.

There is a lot more to say about this, but there isn’t time. I will come back to it later. The actions to take are gentle exercise, cleaning and tidying the flat and drying the clothes when the washing machine is finished.

Feb 11: Not really a good day. I expected to get more done, not being at work, but was too feverish in the morning to be really focussed and active. I avoided alcohol, and did a tiny amount of exercise - not enough to be even a partial success. My son is with me, which makes it difficult to work on the novel or study tango. I am glad that the non-drinking is going well, even though it is frustrating not to be more active on other things. I suppose the point is to keep going in the right direction, don’t worry about the day to day struggles and have faith that the results will come with perseverence. I received an email from EasyGoals.com, which suggested a ‘This Month / Next Month / 60 Days Away / 90 Days Away’ structure, which has some merit to it, although I don’t have the energy or time to think it through right now.

hope you get better quick, I guess this is the season for illness. Hang in there, and don't give up.

0 units Weds Feb 13.

I am looking after my son, which makes it difficult to do the more challenging tasks or to make journal entries.

18 Days no alcohol - confident I can reach 21 days target.

Heck yeah, you are almost there !!!!

Thanks Berry & Hanna

0 units alcohol on Feb 19. 2 days to go.
Doing forum posts does make persevering with disciplined effort easier.
I have been using HabitCal to record my goal-directed actions. I feel good when I look at the 19 days non-drinking, less good when I look at the record for doing the tango and writing my novel. An approach I have been taking is to say that a partial success is better than no effort, so even fifteen minutes exercise is worth doing. Similarly, even though 10:30 pm feels a bit late to be starting something, there is still time to do some exercise, study my tango DVD or listen to my writing course on CD.
I think that, for the March behaviour experiment, I will make listening to a lecure of my writing course a partial success. Studying the lectures improves the skills I have, but it does not make progress towards getting it done.
I am looking forward to completing the Feb 21 day programme, and recuperating my willpower for March. Thinking about the March programme beforehand seems to make it a less daunting prospect, and one I can do better with than Feb. I am hoping that, over time, it becomes easier to sustain the willpower generally, and for particular periods.

Staying up until 2 or 3 am reading is scuppering my plans to get out of bed early. I will think about altering this goal for March - that is, what do I count as partial success, and what actions are more likely to lead to actual success.
Two days non-drinking to go!

Day 20/21 of the behaviour experiment. Today has not been a good day. I have been too constantly angry and stressed all day. I didn’t do any tango or exercise. However, avoided alcohol, ate wisely at work. It was too cold to go out of the flat - I didn’t have enough energy. I didn’t avoid watching tv. I did a lot of work looking for an on-line writing forum, and may have found one. The idea is to run a 21-day programme in March, and to post about the writing goals on a dedicated forum, rather than the ES general one. I suppose it might be sensible to look for a forum for Tango as well.
However, I am looking forward to finishing the 21-day experiment with some success. 1 day of non-drinking to go! I haven’t worked out what I will do for the rest of Feb, but the idea is to not track any behaviour goals, recuperate my willpower and look forward to getting started in March, well-prepared and full of hope.
I have a meeting on Monday to discuss how the 21-day experiment went - the hope is that the goal setting, activity tracking and journalising leads to more doing-what-I-said-I-would-do, more sense of control and pleasure in my life and of bringing about long-term satisfying goals. (Actually, I read one of those ‘12 tips for achieving your goals’ lists, which advocated having a mantra. “More doing-what-I-said-I-would-do!†isn’t bad.)

I’ll be closing the Feb experiment strand in the next day or so, after the last day and a bit of a review. I’ll be starting the march experiment strand, with a few days preparation, so that I start in march well-prepared and hopeful of achieving what I want. Getting up early is not really getting there yet. It might be worthwhile recording actual time of getting started.

Completed 21-day non-drinking with 100% success.