Kat's Daily Check-in

[Kittykat150]

I started the No-S Diet on January 23, 2013. So far, I have had one failure (red) day. I am not necessarily on a weight loss track. I reached my weight loss goal on Weight Watchers in November. But what I soon found out was that maintenance on that plan is just too time consuming and stressful. I do not want to live the rest of my life counting points, tracking food and obsessing over fluctuations on the scale. I am happy with my weight loss on the WW plan but its time to find an enjoyable lifestyle with respect to food.
Stats:
Height: 5' 10"
Age: 47
Weight: 158 on 1/23/13
BMI: 22ish
Could I lose a few more pounds?....of course! I am a woman. Getting down to 150 sounds like a dream. I was there only once in my life, for about a day and a half, in my twenties. But maintenance anywhere in the 150 range is ideal. Hoping No-S will be the way for me to live free of my "fat head" and happy with food.
As for exercise, I run three times a week, 5K in 30 minutes. Thanks to the Couch-to-5K plan. I do yoga twice a week on my "rest" days and often walk with my husband on the weekends. So those habits are just fine. I use a paper calendar and track my successes and failures on that on a daily basis. I will probably use this site to rant and ramble. I like the people of the No-S program already. So here goes...
Kat

[Strawberry Roan]

Welcome to the forums, I have been here off and on for few years. Just back after a hiatus. I, too, don't have a lot of weight to lose but love the support and companionship of the great posters here. As well as the great advice.

Hoping to get to know you better.

What has kept me honest is tracking my food on here, listing what I eat down to the peppermint patty my husband hands me when he walks by) I don't really do it to count the calories or anything but to see how "clean" I am eating.

[No BS]

Hi Kat:

Enjoyed reading your post - looking forward to reading more.

I started No "S" in January & am really enjoying the many kindnesses and massive amounts of support on this forum.

Life is often all about the journey & not so much the destination.

[Kittykat150]

I had a successful Saturday, by No- S standards, since you cannot fail on an S day. But I over ate big time by my WW standards. This is my fourth weekend on No-S and I am calming down a bit with the snacking. I see that snacking is truly the hardest habit for me to change. On WW, I was used to small meals and tended to have three or more snacks a day, almost as many points worth as my meals. So a normal meal seems large to me. But a small meal does not satiate me til the next feeding. Still learning.
Interesting observation: I waited all week to open a box of Belgian chocolates for dessert last night. I had three. They tasted too sweet. Can you imagine?
Now they are sitting in plain view and they don't bother me at all.
Success!

[No BS]

Hi Kat:

Now that definitely is a true measure of SUCCESS !!

A box of Belgian chocolates is my personal kryptonite I haven't dared to bring a box in the house for decades! Really.

Have a great No "S" week, Kat.

[Kittykat150]

Monday: back to business. I read in someone's post that No-S was like providing structure for a child. I feel that way today. I looked forward to it being Monday and getting back to a structure. I know I am not supposed to, but I think I need to create some sort of rules for my S days. My old habits of grazing all day are too strong and I give in to them too easily on S days. I may be like an alcoholic who cannot take a drink. Seriously, I think I just cannot snack. At least not now. I fear that I am going to weekend-snack my way right back to my starting weight. I have the week to mull it over. I am considering allowing small desserts with lunch or dinner on weekends but sticking to no snacking between meals. Sigh....
I was back on a calorie counting site last night calculating my meals for today. I am so uncomfortable with this "not tracking". Much more of a challenge than I thought it would be. Wish I could trust myself. Wish I could trust No-S.
I hope to feel better after I weigh myself on 3/1. Once I see that this is really keeping my weight in range I can relax. Maybe....IDK.
Ugh....

[No BS]

Kat:

I don't snack on weekends. I can't willfully undermine on weekends the habits I work so hard to create during the week.

But that is just me. And my biggest failing before No "S" was NOT eating meals and grazing all night, every night, instead.

One thing about this system is that it sure gives you the latitude to figure out & apply what works best for you!

[MJ7910]

so instead you just eat three meals and if you want to have a dessert or seconds? that way you don't have to snack if you don't want to but can just have awesome stuff for meals? i can see how that might work for me. because snacking is starting to feel weird on sdays.

[No BS]

@ MJ: Exactly!

I stay away from seconds, though, on all days. Based on my past issues with food, I desperately need the practice (& reinforcement) of accurately judging my appetite and relating it solely to mealtimes and solely to a "finite" plateful of food.

Left unchecked, I've spent years (or entire weekends at least ) working on "finishing" my endless plate!

[Kittykat150]

It is almost the weekend and I have a strange and wonderful lack of urgency about having my S days. I believe I am starting to experience the changes that others have written about. I am less hungry between meals, meaning my hunger level is no longer ravenous by the time a meal is allowed. I am comfortably hungry, if that makes sense. I have decided to keep the no snacking habit through my weekends. Like MJ says, it feels strange to snack and almost gives me a signal to go back to my old habits. Which I really don't like anymore. I do miss desserts during the week. So that will be my splurge on S days for now. On N days I have been leaving space on my plate for some nuts and dried fruit or cheese. Doing the French-thing for desserts. It has helped.
Feeling better and more confident this week.
All good stuff. Thanks MJ and No BS for your input.
Kat

[No BS]

I am comfortably hungry, if that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense, Kat! Good job.

[Kittykat150]

I am fine tuning my plan a bit. I feel some pounds creeping up although I am not getting on the scale until 3/1 as promised. In order to tame my S days, I am not snacking in between meals, I never have seconds so that is easy, and I am allowing myself restricted sweet treats. For example, I had one exceptionally good dark chocolate covered salted caramel candy after lunch today. So good. After dinner, I will probably have a dish of lemon ginger ice cream that has been hidden in my freezer for over two weeks. Time to unveil it!
Last night, hubby took me out to dinner and I had soup, small salad, 1/2 a fish entree and slice of coconut cake for dessert. I logged it on my habitcal as a FAILURE. So far my only two RED days have been Friday nights, because this often kicks off the weekend for us. So I may make it a modification to start my S- days on Friday nights and end them Sunday afternoon. It fits in better with my lifestyle. Would rather see those days GREEN or YELLOW when they are really not random crazy failures. Something to consider. Have had a regular N style day today although it is Saturday with the exception of the one chocolate. Frankly, the large meal last night made me sluggish and I have no desire to continue on that vein today.
Onward....

[Kittykat150]

Once again looking forward to the structure of Monday.
Sunday night planning: I made a bucketload of steel cut oats, fruit and chia seeds for my breakfasts this week. I also prepared tuna salad on multigrain for lunch. Will have with a banana. Bought a few new flavors of tea, smoked gouda, and a sexy trail mix for desserts....pretty much set for a great No-S week. No excuses. Hope to be in the green and happy with my first weigh in on 3/1.

(Weekend in review: tame Saturday, semi-tame Sunday. Too much chocolate. Am starting to lose my taste for it. It seems too sweet. Don't get me wrong, I ate it anyway, but it wasn't that good. Neither were the chocolate chip cookies. Next challenge, stop eating treats that I find are not that good after all....hmmm, always something to work on )

[Kittykat150]

So here I am again, back from the gaining game. I couldn't remember whether I used a daily check in when I first tried NoS in February. But here it is. Time to dust it off.
Two times the charm? Let's hope to never see #3. It is summer time. I am off from work and there is no good reason not to focus on this lifestyle with complete trust and gusto. I am back on NoS for about two weeks. So far, doing very well with GREEN days. Trying to feel more relaxed about my weight. I started the summer on MyFitnessPal counting calories and exercise points and the usual madness, but realized that my nutrition habits are very healthy. I am just snacking too much in between lunch and dinner. So cut that Out! That's my goal. Whatever weight reveals itself as a result of this NoS lifestyle is going to have to be good enough because I do not wish to "diet" anymore. I also read In Defense of Food and Food Rules by Michael Pollan and am improving the quality of my meals by reducing processed foods (which most snacks are, not surprisingly). Have been making beautiful meals for myself with pretty little plates and candle light. Baked homemade bread a few times. The only thing of concern is that I am afraid to weigh myself, afraid I am gaining although there is no evidence of that. I was at 167 last week. Same as the week before. I hope to trust this way of life that I am actually enjoying. Until that happens I am trusting the veteran NoS-ers on these discussion boards and keeping my weigh-ins in perspective.

[tobiasmom]

Welcome back! I, too, am back after a few different attempts at counting points and all that silliness I'm staying off the scale, too, for a while. Sounds like you're doing wonderful!

[Kittykat150]

Welcome back! I, too, am back after a few different attempts at counting points and all that silliness I'm staying off the scale, too, for a while. Sounds like you're doing wonderful!

Thanks, Tobiasmom. It's good to be back. I have been reading a lot of the testimonials from No-Sers that have been on plan for awhile. It is very encouraging.

[Kittykat150]

Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

Here's to walking down another street!

[Kittykat150]

Feeling too full after all day snacking and no real meals on Saturday. Weekend schedules are really off in the summer. But it was nice to know that whatever I did, it was okay. I found myself eating some chocolate just because I could and it wasn't all that interesting. Had a terrific piece of cake at the diner after dinner. That was the only splurge of worth. I am getting pretty picky about my treats. I think that is a very good sign. So far having my S days start on Friday dinner to Sunday lunch works much better. That's my mod and I'm sticking to it. Had an extremely perimenopausal emotional breakdown yesterday, tears, the whole works after I had my feelings hurt by my stepdaughter. And I did not turn to food as I usually would have. Hmm.....very interesting.

[May]

Sorry to hear you had a tough day yesterday. But good for you for not turning to food. NoS must be a strong habit for you.

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Annie. I am still a newbie on NoS but I feel confident about it. Changes are subtle. But things like not stress-eating are a better indicator of progress than the scale right now. Permanent change is the goal. How are you finding NoS so far?

[Kittykat150]

Feeling great on a Monday. I enjoyed an afternoon at the Lake with friends yesterday. Had food cooked with love and shared with friends. No guilt. No overstuffed feeling. Lovely. I am starting to feel like a normal person.
Almost at 21 days green! No scale yet. No way. Not going to ruin this now.

[May]

An afternoon on the lake with friends and good food sound so dreamy. I am imaging that right now.

Keep up the good work, looks like you are on a roll.

I find NoS simple but not easy at all. I am following the rules of no snacks, no sweets and no seconds. But my meals tend to be too big, especially on days when I am bored. My emotions can affect the way I eat. I need to be mindful of that. S days needs more work. I have to learn to stop before I feel too full. Weight has gone down a little (2-3 lbs). Not as much as I had hoped but then again I am eating more carbs than before I started NoSing.

Best thing about this WOE is that I can enjoy meals with family and friends again. Low carb sucks the life force right out of me.

[Kittykat150]

I had a small sweet today with lunch that was made especially for me by a dear friend. She was so excited about it. I could not hurt her feelings and "save it for later ". Not this time. So I am not calling it a failure day. It was a loving gesture both ways. Not a habit breaker. I am allowing myself to discern between a success and a failure based upon the intent and spirit of the nourishment. This plan is as close to normal as I have ever felt about food.

Hi Annie. Thanks for stopping by.

[Kittykat150]

Well, I got on the scale today with much trepidation. 165. Hmm. No gain. Maybe even going down a pound or two. Too small of increments to tell. But NO GAIN. I have been steadily gaining each time I stopped WW since reaching my goal weight last November. Whenever I looked away from counting or looked away from daily weigh-ins, I gained. I'll be honest, I am only 5 pounds above my original goal and am already in a healthy BMI range for my height, 23.7. So if this is where I maintain, so be it. I am pretty happy. I stopped the upward momentum! Awesome. I am beginning to believe in this. I don't think I have ever been on Maintenance, and actually maintained.

So, wait...let me wrap my head around this...I have been eating delicious foods for almost a month, eating like a queen really, and I have not gained any weight....I have maintained my weight. This is incredible.


Ht:5"10"
Age: 47
CW:165
GW:160
Dream GW:150

[Tessytwinkle]

I am really impressed with your journey so far. I am just starting on mine and you have encouraged me to check in regularly. There is much wisdom in your words and like so many other noSer's much honesty in your daily thread. I shall try to be as truthful:-) and hope to do as well!
Tessy

[May]

So if this is where I maintain, so be it. I am pretty happy. I stopped the upward momentum! Awesome. I am beginning to believe in this. I don't think I have ever been on Maintenance, and actually maintained.

Such a positive and healthy way to approach weight. Keep enjoying your meals and life in-between.

[r.jean]

It sounds like you have discovered the magic of No S for yourself. It is not about losing weight. It is about developing a sane relationship with food. It is about enjoying food. Weight loss or at least weight maintenance is the side effect. Isn't it great?

[Kittykat150]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I am really encouraged now. I weighed myself again to take the average. Definitely trending down. It is Friday and Friday dinner to Sunday lunch are my S days. I can't believe it. This week went so fast and I can't say that I had any cravings or white-knuckle moments at all. Going to a county fair this weekend and not worried about food at all. Awesome.
Next weigh-in September 1st.

[Kittykat150]

Last night I had my traditional Friday night complete dinner at my favorite diner. I could not finish the entree and the double chocolate fudge cake was so sweet and rich that I ate three bites and the rest is in my refrigerator. I am learning about what my body really wants versus what I have been telling myself I want. I may be done with my S day treats for this weekend already. I felt uncomfortably full last night. I do not like that feeling.

[Kittykat150]

Just checking in. Happy to report that I have not had time to post here because I have not been thinking too much about food. Certainly not like any other "diet" I have tried. I even skipped breakfast on Sunday and lunch yesterday because I was too off schedule. There would not have been enough time to get hungry for the next meal if I ate them. So I skipped 'em! Imagine that.
I am settling into this and appreciating my freedom very much.

[jw]

you are where I want to be, Kat! congrats!

[Tessytwinkle]

Way to go kittykat! I love it that you are experiencing freedom from food and I long to be there too. Enjoy!!!

[Kittykat150]

JW and Tessy,
You are closer than you think. I started focused NoS about a month ago. I would not have believed that I would have such quick mental results. The physical results are going to be slow, but the mental ones are so important. My husband was away on business so Monday night I did not want to cook anything. I went to a local diner and got a bacon burger with waffle fries. I rarely eat meat. It is not my favorite thing. But I asked my body what it wanted for dinner and that's what it wanted. Not an egg white omelette. Not a salad. Not a veggie wrap....a bacon burger and waffle fries! And I enjoyed it. And I left fries on my plate. This would NEVER have happened in my past, and with NO GUILT. I sat that there in that diner booth and really felt like a normal person. I have not craved sweets all week. It is true that when you do not have a lot of sweets you stop craving them.
Best to both of you. Stick with it. The results are life changing. I can't wait for the weight to come off, either. But the emotional victories are just as important.
Kat

[May]

Hi Kittykat,

Congrats on doing so well!

I also started about a month ago, although my habits are still wobbly. There were times in the past when I chose the entree that was low in calories and felt unsatisfied after the meal because it wasn't what I wanted to eat. In the end, there was little enjoyment and I still craved other food.

NoS is so much better because it allows for personal preferences. It only asks you to learn the habit of moderation. I am still working on this but this path is definitely more enjoyable.

[Kittykat150]

I had my yearly GYN check up yesterday and, of course they had to weigh me. Ugh. I shouldn't hAve looked. I know that all scales are different and I had clothes on, etc. but my fat head woke up when it registered a three pound difference from my own scale. Yikes, what a mind game this is. I have to shake it off and not let it derail me. Think long term....think peace with food...think freedom from diet head forever....(think sometimes that I am nuts!) Really, Kat, there are people in the world with serious problems. Get a grip.

[Tessytwinkle]

Dear Kat. You poor thing. I hate it when that happens!!! And it has happened many times for me. I hate 'public' weigh ins of any kind. Please trust what you are doing. It is clear from your posts you are starting to gain peace from old habits and your overall trend is down. These are significant changes but take time. Hang in there
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Thankful it is Monday. I was given an early birthday party by some friends yesterday and am feeling the bloat of it all. Ugh. Food....friend or foe?
It was interesting to note how often this weekend I felt obligated to eat (in my own head, no pressure from others) either because I knew I could or felt it was something I loved, but in the end, I really did not enjoy it. Too bad you cannot take back eating food that you didn't enjoy. My next challenge would seem to be stopping eating at the first bite or two when the taste does not live up to my expectations.
(A friend gave me FOUR bags of Lindt/Ghirardelli chocolates of different varieties for my birthday. Yikes! Hope they freeze well.)
S-days are feeling like a burden. I think I am at that point of this plan when I will start naturally reeling them in.
What I have learned this summer: I do not love sweets as much as I thought. Most junk food is just okay. A real treat is homemade dessert. Maybe I will set that as an S day standard for myself and not waste my time on ordinary store-bought stuff.
Still stinging from my forced weigh-in, by the way. The Judge and the Victim are strong, to quote don Miguel Ruiz.
Carry on...

[Tessytwinkle]

Ooooh what a good challenge to stop eating after the first couple of bites. I think I will try that. Funny how you just kinda keep going even though youre not really enjoying it. I am also going to stop buying junk and start making nice cakes and treats. Have a good week
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Had to try on a bunch of cocktail dresses today from my closet, planning for an event next week. Was happy that everything still fits and I have a choice of dresses I feel confident in. Even threw on a bathing suit to get a clear perspective on where I am. Not using the scale still makes me irrational about pounds creeping up. If I am to be honest here, and I am, I will be disappointed if this is my maintenance weight. I am only a few pounds off (8 to 10) would be perfect. So close. Today I am regretting my gain from last year. I was at 156 and did not keep it there. Why did I let it creep back up again? Ugh...And you all know that this is the point where I start thinking, "maybe I should go back on WW and just get these few pounds off quickly". (Oh, my diet-head!)The only reason I do not do exactly that is because I will be back in the same place again, if history predicts the future. I have been here so many times. I have to find a place of peace with my body and with food, and WW rules and practices will not do it. I am happy with my eating and can live this way very nicely if I can just accept whatever weight that results in. Oh boy...trust is hard without quicker results.
Rant over. Back to business...

[May]

Trying on dresses that fit always give me a good feeling. You can use this as motivation to stay on course. Chances of succeeding with WW is pretty slim according to the many posts I've read here in the forum.

I also have about 8-10 lbs to lose and I am going on a vacation in October. But whatever weight I'll be at that time is fine. I don't want to rush things and have it backfired. At least, I can eat with family, socialize with friends and enjoy holidays without guilt.

[Kittykat150]

167 again. Okay, staying the same is new. Looking on the bright side. I have not been dieting. As a matter of fact, I have been eating very well and am maintaining at 165-167. I will make a deal with myself. Keep on NoS, eating mindfully. Tame my S days. If I am still at 167 in March, I will increase my activity/exercise to get down to 160. I am committing to small, spaced out adjustments. I will call it the anti-frenzy approach. All is well.

[Tessytwinkle]

Great you are maintaining and I think you have got a really good plan in place. By March you should have really settled into no S and I believe you should see some results judging by other posts I have read. Hang in there Kat I am sure WW is not the answer in the long run and the emotional benefits you are feeling with this approach are so important. I'm rooting for you
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Tessy. I watched the BBC special on YouTube "The Men Who Made Us Thin" and it certainly reinforced that all diets fail in the long term. WW took a special hit on that documentary when they admitted that their business thrives because you have to keep going back to them. What a way to make money! Anyway, I am on my own course for a change. I have a weekend conference in NY in a retreat setting, all vegetarian, no frills. Will be meditating on lots of things including this long struggle with body image. Checking back in on Sunday night or Monday. Off I go...

[Kittykat150]

I am back from my weekend conference and feeling well. Something encouraging happened along with many inspirations and meditations. The closing speaker had each audience member blindly pick a quote out of an envelope. Everyone got a different quote. The one I picked was so perfect it is now my signature quote. (My old quote came from WW, so I think it was time to replace it anyway!)
Summer is passing quickly and I will be back to work soon. I have about two weeks more of leisure then, boom....right out of that cannon! Hopefully my new habits are strong enough to survive the chaos.

[Tessytwinkle]

Hi Kat

So glad you had a good weekend, it is special to get time away to really think. Not sure what your new signature quote is? The one from Harriet B/S?
I know how anxious you must feel about going back to work. I feel just the same. I am due back after a long break. But you have worked really hard at putting your good new habits in place and we are all here to support you. So I'm sure you will be ok
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Tessy. Yes, the new quote is the one by HB Stowe that appears now as my signature on these posts. Interesting that all my prior posts have been automatically changed to this quote as well. Looks like it has been here all along, but in fact, it is NEW.
Technology. It's a mystery to me...



And on your daily check in, I appreciated the advice about the scale. The Doc is right. Why weigh myself so much if it is not going to change my course of action? Very good advice.

[Kittykat150]

I have been away for a few days from the boards but not from the habits. My birthday was Tuesday and I was treated to a complete dinner and cake (of course). I was wayyyy too full and miserable afterwards. But no problem, it was a chance to remember that I do not like feeling stuffed. I had three bites of dessert (leftover cake) on Wednesday and Thursday after dinner. Also not a big deal. The streak is over and I am sure no damage was done.

Interesting observation: I realize through tuning in to my hunger that I am never hungry for breakfast. Never. So for the past week I just don't eat it. Huh! I am amazed. In the past, I felt like biting my hand I was so hungry between breakfast at 6:30am and lunch at noon. Not anymore. I have my coffee and don't even start to feel hunger signals until 10:30-11:00am. By then it is only an hour to lunch so I practice feeling hunger for an hour. And I exercise every morning for 40 to 60 minutes. Even with that, I am fine with no food. Talk about a learning experience. I am curious what else I am going to learn about myself while building these habits.

The fourth S: no SCALE, not even on S days unless it is the first of the month. Really, what do I need the scale for? It isn't going to change my behavior for the better. It may even change it for the worse.

[Tessytwinkle]

Hiya Kat.
How strange your breakfast urge is gone. It is good to feel in touch with our body's needs. I think we are all different but we are so brainwashed to follow particular patterns of eating and cultural conventions that we lose touch with our essential selves.
GLad you are scales free too, it is very liberating when you think of how much your well being is dominated by stepping on them every couple of days.
Have a happy weekend
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

If cake was poison, I'd be dead. I am back on N days from a long vacation weekend. I am at the age where bad eating literally shows up on my face. It is a good thing I have no plans today because I look like I have had a serious night of crying. Happy to be back to business. I had a really nice time at the beach. Lots of walking. I am sure the extra eating out has no long term effects. I will be back to work next Tuesday and plan to feel confident in my new habits. Crossing my fingers.

[Kittykat150]

It's hard to separate the idea of changing your eating habits without their being attached to weight loss in our culture. I just knew I ate way more than I was hungry for and felt too full too much. Secretly, I would have been very surprised if I hadn't lost weight but I steeled myself. It has come off in fits and starts.

Get the habit down for a few months. Then if you still feel too big, slowly start decreasing dense foods at meals. Up the freggies to keep up or even increase the volume.

In the end, only you can determine what the right amount of food is that will keep you feeling adequately fed for the vitality of your body and mind. It's not usually something discovered, after all our wrenchings, in a few weeks or even months.

I wanted this quote on my check in to reread as needed. Very good advice from Oolala. I needed that.

[Tessytwinkle]

Thank you Kat. I needed that quote too. We must steel ourselves and focus just on getting the habit established.
Tessy

[lpearlmom]

I agree! Oolala's journey has really inspired me. I m keeping my focus on the peace that I've finally found with my eating & if I happen to lose a little weight along the way that will be a nice perk!

[Kittykat150]

Back in the GREEN. Cake-fest 2013 has officially ended. Whew!.....

[lpearlmom]

Yay!! Onward!!

[Tessytwinkle]

The end of cake-Fest. Hooray!!! You're back in the green zone, well done
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Staying in the GREEN, although I had urges like the old days for snacks and bites. See what happens when you stray from the new habits? Those old habits are hovering in the background just waiting for your weak moments. I stayed strong though, not even a bite off plan. I dreamed about No S last night: that my weight crept up instead of down and I was very upset because I knew I couldn't sustain on less food than I was eating for my three meals. Funny. I must have deep seated fears about this lifestyle. Until I see weight LOSS, I guess I will have to accept those fears and plow on. It scares me that diets don't work, because I truly know that is the case, deep down and to the bone. I have lived that truth over and over. So now, if No S doesn't work...if it doesn't get me down to the weight range I really desire, then what? Acceptance? I don't know if I can.
I am wobbly today because back-to-work is looming next week. I feel disappointed that I am not going back to work from summer break thinner than I was in June. Last year at this time I returned to work at my WW goal and got all the complements that come from an obvious weight loss. Today I feel like a failure letting ten pounds of that loss creep back on. I want this extra weight off YESTERDAY! It's a lie that I will be happy wherever my weight lands with normal eating. At least, today it's a lie. I want to weigh at least 10 lbs less. I want my thighs not to rub together when I wear a bathing suit. Yes....I admit it....I am VAIN and impatient! God help me.
Ugh.

[Tessytwinkle]

Oh dear Kat. You could be me talking I know deep in my heart I am thinking if this does not work what then.... It is a very bleak and scary thought. I also know how you feel about going back to work. It is my biggest fear. I have been off for weeks on the sick and everyone - including me!! Thinks I should be losing weight. Aaaargh but I do know this. We are gaining strength, getting by and finding some steadiness. We must trust that this will work for us. But we will need to be patient. After all even if I went back to work 1 stone lighter there would be lots of people there who think I am too fat!!! So we are doing this for ourselves, no one else and it is going to take a while, remember what Ooolala says. Lets get the habit settled first then we can tweak it if necessary
Tessy
Ps I love your new quote. Very inspiring

[Kittykat150]

Thanks for your compassion, Tessy. Sometimes I just have to rant! Better day today. Still GREEN. Since my S days start Friday night, I am baking myself something S-worthy for a change. No more too-sweet cake with waxy frosting from the supermarket. I just made chocolate chip orange shortbread. It is cooling and smells heavenly. They will be worth the wait!
Still feeling fat and resigned but at least it is not veering me off habit. All moods change eventually. So I am just gonna wait it out with this temper tantrum/victim mode. It is what it is. Time to listen to my own advice and just hang in there.
Mmmmm...what a lovely smell coming out of my kitchen. I am grateful for that.
Happy weekend everyone!
Kat

[Tessytwinkle]

Kat we are going to do this. We've taken years to reach this time. We must hang on. I will stick it out if you will I listen to your advice. So should you, it's wise, funny and thoughtful!
Enjoy your yummy shortbread,
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

I had a tame weekend. The few treats and no snacking worked well. I am depressed because my weigh in on Sunday went poorly. Even though I know it was a little heavy from water weight, it is still not moving down and I don't want to diet anymore. What to do? I am back to work tomorrow and planning to automate my breakfasts and lunches. Keep up with my exercise. What else can I do? Heavy sigh....

Add-on: At the end of the day, I feel better. The good thing about moods; they change. I tried to still my negative mind chatter by replacing those thoughts as soon as they came up, with the positive opposite. Ex: I love this body, I am so grateful for my health, I deserve to feed myself delicious food, etc.... It worked.

[Kittykat150]

I have not had time for a check in. Back to work is hectic, but in a good way. I have kept to my NoS habits but notice that I am much hungrier at dinner time. My old friend, three-o'clock-munchies, has returned like a dragon. I have not given in. I used fruit juice one day and coffee today to hold me until dinner. Nothing else to report. Just keeping on, keeping on. Trusting this to work out in time in the weight department. If not, you will all hear the screams no matter where you live!

[Tessytwinkle]

Hi Kat. Hang in there. We can crack this. I am about to go back to Work and 3 pm munches is very real danger so great to hear you are holding up and resisting. I shall endeavour to do the same. This will work, I am willing you on
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Tessy. It's nice to be going through this with support. You are a terrific cheerleader. I just bought Brian Wansink's book Mindless Eating. So far, it is quite interesting. I feel steady and strong. My weekend so far has been tame. No snacking, just some extra treats at dinner time.
Maybe the tide is turning.

[Kittykat150]

Keeping up the good work. I feel automated! It's a relief. Peace with food is close by. I can feel it. I am very pleased with this.

[Tessytwinkle]

Hey Kat you're on autopilot wow!!! You are so on top of this. Very big smile on my face
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Tessy,
I suspect you are an awesome teacher. Always encouraging and finding the good in our struggles. Thank you!!
Kat

(We are going to feel amazing by Christmas!! Go team!)

[Kittykat150]

Had a long hot day at work, followed by a client after work, followed by trafficky commute home. Then DH offered to take me out instead of cooking. Great. No problem. I had no angst about a spur of the moment change in dinner plans. I went to the diner, ordered grilled veggie melt with salad, enjoyed every morsel and sit here now, content. That would never have happened on WW, no matter how much they say it is a portable plan. If you did not plan for and calculate points ahead of time, eating out was a pain in the butt on that diet. This diet,.....what diet? It doesn't even feel like a diet. Boy I hope I lose weight on this because I am starting to really like it.
Hoping....

[lpearlmom]

Yay Kat! Isnt it great to feel normal around food? I think you'll definitely lose weight--slowly but surely. Just focus on the habit for now and once that's fully in place you can play around with the " what" part of your plates if you want to speed things up a bit.

Keep up the good work!

Linda

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Linda.
I am working on finding peace with my body as it is. If I am already at my body's desired weight then that is that. Funny how the universe puts a mirror to your face sometimes. A coworker was complaining about wanting to lose 15-20 more pounds after losing a lot of weight over the past year. So I asked her if she was willing to cut back or change anything more than she was doing for the rest of her life. And she looked doubtful. So I said, why not just let your body get used to this new weight and settle with your new good habits and see what happens? She didn't look like she needed to lose any more weight to me, but in her head she was comparing herself to other women at the gym. Sound familiar? My body image is just as distorted. I have to swallow my own advice. Wait and see what happens. My body may not change at all. This could be it. But if my mind changes, even better.
Had a lot of chocolate and some ice cream last night. That may be all I need for S day treats this weekend. I am losing those urges altogether. Now that is something to celebrate.

[Tessytwinkle]

Hi Kat. You know your own advice is so wise, thoughtful and helpful you really can't go wrong if you listened to it as well as me
I nearly gave up on Friday but I remembered our pact and it kept me going, thanks.

Also brilliant to hear your urges are going have an urge free Sunday
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Sunday night ended with soup and vegetables. Had enough food, for sure this weekend to hold me through the week. I ate out a few times and baked, so all those pleasures have been enjoyed. I notice a definite change in my urge to splurge. I do not feel frantic for the weekend. I look forward to relaxing my eating habits, for the mental break, but there is no food I just have to have. It's nice. I wore a new pair of jeans today for a walkabout NYC and for the first time maybe ever, my inner thighs did not rub together as I walked. Sweet, sweet victory. I strutted like a peacock. (Did I mention that these are now my FAVORITE jeans?.... Maybe even MAGIC jeans!)

[jw]

Thanks for stopping by my thread, Kittykat -- your Sunday evening sounds like mine! The jeans triumph is really something to cheer about -- congrats and have a great week!

[Tessytwinkle]

Hooray for magic jeans

[Kittykat150]

Sing it to me Kermit!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpiIWMWWVco&sns


"It's not that easy being green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold-
or something much more colorful like that.

It's not easy being green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water-
or stars in the sky.

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be."

[Kittykat150]

REDday yesterday, my first in a long while. No particular reason, I just had to have shortbread and chocolate for dessert. Had to. There was no convincing me otherwise! So there it is.
Today, no problems. Normal GREEN day. It is so funny how food moods swing just like emotional moods. Now the same tin of shortbread is not calling to me whatsoever and chocolate seems too sweet.
Cantaloupe for my sweet tonight, served on my dinner plate next to my vegetables. Who was that girl who came to dinner yesterday? She was downright obnoxious!
Peace and love.
Kat

[lpearlmom]

Glad you got back on track so easily today and congrats on the jeans. It's those little things that are so rewarding. I'm starting to like my full length reflection for the first time in years and it just feels so good not to have to be constantly avoiding it.


Keep up he good work!

Linda

[Kittykat150]

I haven't posted in a while. I don't have much to report that is post-worthy. Everything is status quo. I have been going to soccer games after work and staying out of snacking trouble. Good week so far. I have been focusing on nourishing enjoyable meals. The disappointment of eating something I was not very excited about for lunch this week motivated me to pay more attention to what I put together for lunch. I find that the snack attack after work is directly linked to a dissatisfying lunch. Pasta with chicken and vegetables yesterday and today did the trick. I sit here now with a small cup of coffee. Dinner is in the works and I have no drive to nibble. I have a travel bowl with lid that is microwaveable. It holds about two handfuls of food. That's my new lunch plate.
I was speaking with a frustrated teen girl today who is quite overweight. I did my best to advocate sensible eating plans like this one. I hope she considers this before the next crash/fad diet sets her up to fail. It's hard with teens, though. They especially want instant results.
Keep good thoughts for her. Happy to say all is well here. I am going to check in with all my "sisters of sanity" now.
Peace.
Kat

[Tessytwinkle]

Hi Kat. This sounds brilliant. Well done. You have really settled your eating. You are so right. If you get your lunch right it all feels easier, get it wrong or have an unsatisfying meal and you are in trouble. Your journey makes me feel mine might be possible.
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

My last post did not show up, so I will repeat myself. Going straight Vanilla NoS starting this week. No more Friday night mod. DH has decided he wants to lose weight and that will help me stay GREEN on our Friday nights out. No more bites of his dessert! Because he will not be having it...
So Tessy, I am all in...vanilla all the way!
I just went to my habitcal and plugged in the next 21 days as all GREEN for weekdays and YELLOW for weekends. (God help me if I have to go back there and change anything).
Go Team Green!
Kat

[Tessytwinkle]

Way to go Kat. We can do this, Vanilla all the way it is. Habitcal strategy sounds brilliant although really scary! Good luck! Go team green
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Posting GREENs ahead in my habitcal is working like a charm. It kept me from taking a few bites between meals and when cooking dinner. I am being rigid about this. I had juice today to keep me honest.
Starving for dinner.....stay tuned. I am cooking now.

Wow. Tough day today. Even after dinner I was so hungry. Went for a walk with my husband and got a coffee. Better now. I think my lunch was too light. Here's to a better day tomorrow....
but I stayed GREEN

[jw]

I do my habitcal right after dinner, to rule out evening snacks -- works like a charm! I might try your method, Kat . . . it makes it that much harder to slip up..

[lderoc]

I am new to noS and read this thread all the way to the beginning this evening. So much of what is said here rings true for me. I am also about 10 lbs above my "happy weight". That is the weight that I FEEL my best at. My N days have been difficult at times, but I have managed to stay on track. My S days though-different story. I usually overindulge WAY TOO MUCH. The next few days are horrible. I totally agree...eating too much even shows on your face as you get older. My S days are definitely binge days. I need to tame them. As for breakfast, I too have stopped forcing myself to eat early in the day. It just seems to trigger an obsession with food for the entire day. I am ravenous from the time I take the first bite to the end of the day. I too work out every morning for at least an hour and feel much better drinking coffee and eating only when really hungry, which is about 11:00 a.m. I'm tired of trying to listen to all the "pros" who say you need to eat early and eat often. I'm gonna try doing what works best for me. I hope I can trust the system long enough to see the benefit and not panic and go back to counting calories and obsessing over eating clean and following crazy eating plans.

Hoping to get support from people like me.

[Tessytwinkle]

Awesome Kat. You held on. Good for you. All green strategy is working for you. Keep going. Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Hi Ideroc! Glad to see you here. I am trusting this system beyond all my diet head, frantic, control freak, calorie counting instincts. Join me!

Tessy,
You hang in there. I am visiting your site next to see what's up.

As for me, I am starving again by dinner so I have to think about my lunches. I have been having very enjoyable homemade lentil soup and a small pumpkin seed ciabatta roll. I added some peanut butter to my roll today. But it was still not enough to hold me. Maybe soup is too light in general for my lunch. If I start adding fruit or something else then I am exceeding my one plate goal. I always enjoyed leftovers for lunch, like pasta or chili or meatloaf but I have not been cooking like that for dinner, so, alas, no yummy leftovers. I am making homemade pizza for dinner tonight, maybe some of that will do the trick for lunch tomorrow.

On another note, I did not weigh myself on October 1st. I definitely haven't gained. If anything I lost weight since my September weigh in. So I am leaving the numbers out of it for now. I don't want anything to break my stride. When I do vanilla NoS, I feel thinner. When I am really hungry for dinner, like right now for instance, I feel thinner. So that's good enough. Keeping that scale-headed dragon away from me until I am strong and steady in my NoS lifestyle. Yikes!!

[Tessytwinkle]

Oooooh scary no scales at all for a bit. You brave warrior you! I also have not been near the scales although probably just as well in my case feeling thinner must be so brilliant. I am so delighted for you. But watch that lunch box. You are right you probably need a bit more nourishment. Leftovers are such a good plan. Enjoy that pizza. You are really cracking this !!
Tessy.

[jw]

Eat enough, Kat! -- I love a hearty soup for lunch, but I have a bowl that holds a good 3-4 ladles full and I put it on a plate that leaves room for both bread and a piece of fruit. If I did without any of that, I would be hungry, too. Good luck!

[Kittykat150]

Thanks Tessy and JW. Lunch has lasted today. I had pizza and an apple. More chewing and crunching involved, that seemed to do the trick.
Tonight is Back to School night at the high school where I work so I will have an earlier dinner and stay away from the cafeteria! The halls smelled like cookies and pies all day today. That's okay though. I am baking a homemade carrot cake with mascarpone, cream cheese and candied ginger frosting for Saturday. I am having family over for a special occasion and I am soooo willing to wait for that!!
Peace and love my fellow NoSers. I am off to change into a respectable outfit in which to meet parents. My hope is to fit into my size 8 black slacks. Stay tuned.....if they fit you will hear my whoop in the United Kingdom!!
Kat

[Tessytwinkle]

Oh my goodness I am getting a flight over to eat some of your cake!!! It sounds completely yummy and divine. Enjoy your parents visit. It all sounds lovely plus black slacks too!! You are living the dream my friend
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Oh yeah, haven't worn those pants in a while! Things are looking good.
Maybe I will weigh myself January 1st. That should keep me honest through the holidays. Something to think about. Lots if cleaning and prep to do today for my guests tomorrow so no time for snack urges! This will be my first non-S day Friday since I rescinded my mod.
Yes Tessy, this cake may be worth a flight over. Wish I could share it with you. It is a Barefoot Contessa recipe. Unparalleled if you are a carrot cake fan, and I AM. I am also making roasted sausages with grapes and parmesan baked mashed potatoes. Oh boy, what treats for my weekend!!!

[clarebear]

Good work Kat!! Getting in clothes is a brilliant feeling!
Carrot cake is the BEST!!
We are having it as our wedding cake, ignoring tradition!!

Weighing in on jan 1st is a good idea

[Kookie]

Kat, I am SO googling that carrot cake recipe! I might actually jump on the bandwagon of not weighing until Jan1st. That would be the longest without the scales EVER for me. But I am so ready not to be a slave to the number.

[Tessytwinkle]

Hi Kat. Ive found the recipe and making it today to celebrate. Have a lovely time with your parents. Strut your stuff in those black pants have fun !
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Hmmm, am I getting thinner? ...I think maybe I am. I have not had to change the greens in my habitcal and I am halfway through my second week of vanilla NoS. I like that I have not checked in for a few days because this has not been on my mind. I have been focusing on other things, not food. That is new..... I feel good in my clothes and have a flatter stomach. Weight loss?....I am not sure. I'll see in January. But not weight gain, thats for sure. Not much else to say.
GREEN is GOOD.

[Tessytwinkle]

Brilliant, food and food thoughts are not coming first in your life, that is such a good sign. Keep on keeping on

Tessy

[Kittykat150]

I am about three months into NoS. I am starting to relax out of diet head now that I see I am not gaining weight with this lifestyle. I feel I am losing a little, actually. I can just about wear everything in my closet. So I am close to where I would like to be. Which really means about five pounds to lose. Nothing to cry about. I am willing to stick with this and wait to weigh in until January as previously posted. My S days are calming down quite a bit. So this could be it, I am happy to say. This could be the way for me to find peace with food and move on to bigger things.
I snacked a lot on Saturday and went to a party on Sunday, with no restrictions imposed. But I feel fine about it. No remorse, no guilt, no fear. Back to business today. This is a comfortable way to be. I do not feel the need to check in every day here, but I am sticking around for my NoS sisters because I know this forum helps keep all of our heads on straight.
Peaceful week to everyone!
Kat

[clarebear]

what a brilliant post, so calm about food, such a brilliant place to be

[Tessytwinkle]

Kat I am so delighted for you that this is working. How brilliant. You have shown such determination to change and gain some balance and peace in your life around food. And weight loss too! Awesome thank you for sticking around. You are a powerful and wonderful role model
Tessy

[Kittykat150]

Thank you Clarebear and Tessy. I realize that I have lived in a perpetual state of diet adjustments and never really knew what was working for me or against me. Trusting and sticking with NoS despite my fears has shown me that I can maintain a healthy weight without constant monitoring. So far I am learning what I really like to eat (and to my shock, it is not cookies, crackers, and chocolate). I am doing yoga and meditation each morning instead of alternating with running (which I do not enjoy at all). And I have time to think about other goals and desires that fall by the wayside when all energy is focused on food.
All very good stuff.

[jw]

I love this, Kat! the less you fight yourself, the more successful you are, and the more naturally you find your own way!