Keri's Weekly(ish) Check-in

[keriamon]

I sort of, kind of attempted No-S some time ago, but I wasn't really on board with it. It wasn't that I didn't think it was a good idea or doable, but more of a "okay, I've got the hang of this, now I don't have to pay attention anymore." (I bet some of you know what I'm talking about!)

That, and about that time I put up a standing desk at work. Believe it or not, that was just enough "exercise" that I stopped gaining weight, even when I wasn't good about my food choices. So there wasn't a lot of motivation for me to change.

Then I got laid off and bye-bye standing desk. I now have a new job, but I can't have a standing desk again (I share the computer with another person).

Surprise, surprise, I've started gaining weight. I have been carefully avoiding scales (and mirrors, for that matter) lately, but I just went to the doctor and I'm up to... this is horribly embarrassing... but 233 pounds (I'm a 5'6" woman). Even scarier, my US size 18 pants are starting to get tight.

I have to put my foot down. I do NOT want size 20 clothes! I have never been this heavy in my life (most of my adult life I was a size 14/165-170lbs; some health problems and a low calorie-diet brought me down, twice, to a size 10; my ideal is actually a size 12, which is probably about 150-155lbs). My mother and stepmother both are now giving me clothes that are too big for them.

I've been No-S-ing for a week now (all successes!) and it's been rather eye-opening.

I didn't think my diet was TOO bad, but now I'm seeing different. At breakfast, I realized that I'm in the habit of filling up/topping off my cereal bowl three or four times. That counts as seconds!

Also, for the first few days I was No-S-ing, I was taking Sudafed for my allergies. (The active ingredient in Sudafed is an appetite-suppressant.) So for the first few days I was thinking "No sweat!" Then I ran out of Sudafed. And now it's like, "Dear God, I want to EAT!!!"

Every day at work, I'm confronted by near-limitless amounts of Worther's Original candies and shortbread cookies (the kind that come in Christmas tins). There have also been cupcakes, imported chocolates, and--my Achilles' heel--doughnuts available the past week.

Going without shows me how much I've been relying on those things as a mid-afternoon snack.

And last night the desire to eat something in addition to supper was especially high. Sweets are definitely my worst offender, but last night I had the munchies so bad, I could have eaten anything, even if it wasn't sweet.

How many times have I been giving in to that desire?

In addition to dieting, I'm working on exercising. When I lived in Ireland many moons ago, I used to walk everywhere--several miles 7 days a week. When I was dieting some years ago, I used to walk 1-1.5 miles 5 days a week.

Now, I walk for 15 minutes (.75 miles) and I'm exhausted. I'm terribly out of shape!

I'm not an exercise junkie and never will be, but I have always been proud of the fact that I'm stouter than most women and that I could stand and walk for long periods of time. Now that's gone and I want it back.

I want to exercise 6 days a week. That seems to be harder for me to stick to than the diet (and if I'm feeling weak on willpower, the diet takes precedence); I had two failures in the past week. But I did make myself exercise this morning, which is a habit I desperately need to establish (I have more energy in the morning; it's easier to blow off exercise after work). If I could make myself do that every morning, then that has at least 5 days a week taken care of.

[Kittykat150]

Kerimon,
I sorta kinda attempted NoS awhile ago too. I'm back on it for about one month and stabilizing very nicely. It has stopped the gain. The losses will come later. Someone wrote on another thread that NoS was initially like stopping a speeding car and turning it around. First you must slow down, then stop, then turn around and gain speed in the other direction. I guess my point is that slowing down and stopping your "gaining" momentum is the most important thing right now. It sounds like you have a good plan in motion. I can speak for someone who is one month on track and say that the first two weeks are the hardest with cravings and hunger pangs. The body settles down with regular routine. Stick it out and do not worry about the scale yet.
Best of luck.
Kat

[keriamon]

Oh, agony. A-go-ny!

Last night was brutal. I came home with some chicken McNuggets and a small side of fries. I ate it and was still a bit hungry.

I started to watch "The Hobbit," and as they laid the table with food, it made me ravenously hungry and I started debating whether or not to go back in the kitchen and find something else to eat. Then I thought about the red spot on my calendar. Then I thought about how good some Cocoa Pebbles would taste. Then I thought about my fat belly. Then I thought about maybe those nuggets didn't exactly constitute a full meal.

Finally, I went and took a bath, promising myself to revisit the idea afterwards (and hoping I'd either forget, or just go to bed instead). Well, I didn't forget, but option two--just go to bed--happened. Crisis averted.

I don't remember who said it, but I read in a book that people crave diversity in their food more than anything, and that a lot of overeating (i.e. going back to the kitchen for second supper) comes from craving that diversity. If you have it the first time around, you won't need a second supper.

I think I ran up on that rule last night. Nuggets and potatoes are no one's idea of a diverse, balanced meal.

Just the night before, I made Hakka noodles (Indo-Chinese noodles). They contained ramen noodles, onions, three colors of bell peppers, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, and turkey kielbasa. The spices included red pepper flakes, hot sauce, ketchup, brown sugar, salt, garlic, and ginger.

I used just one packet of ramen noodles and half a kielbasa. The vegetables, total, were probably 1 cup. All of it fit very well on a china plate. And by the time I was done, I was stuffed (I really should have let those last few bites go) and didn't want anything else for the rest of the night--not even something sweet.

So, yesterday's lesson was: make sure I have several different foods/flavors. A meat and a starch just isn't going to cut it. (No wonder why my husband's lo-carb diet drives me crazy; he makes meat and maybe adds onions to it and thinks it's a meal; meanwhile, an hour later, he's snacking on nuts, raisins, and drinking milk straight out of the jug.)

[Hippy Dippy]

Thanks for posting! And your struggles are not in vain! It helps me to read about your struggles, what you've learned.

I, too, and stout, at 5'5" and currently 203 pounds, size 16-18W. And we all know the "W" stands for "wide" not "woman". I'm on my 33rd day of No S and I've had my red days. Yesterday was a good day, until we went out for icecream with another couple after dinner. No big deal. It was good, home-made icecream in a bowl. But, normally, I'm good to bypass these desserts until the weekend S days.

I've added walking too. It really helps me mentally. And unless I'm losing it out of one end or the other (i.e. really sick), I can walk any day, any time. I don't even have to get out of my office clothes to do it, if I don't want. I'll change into some socks and walking shoes, maybe. It is very easy, and day after day, it does make a difference.

Of course, I'd like to see the 50 pounds off my body in all my preferred spots right here and now, but since that's not going to happen, I have to keep my eye on the horizon.

Keep it up, you're doing good!!

[keriamon]

Thanks to everybody for the encouragement. They say that you're more likely to meet your goals (be they weight loss or anything else) if you share them with a lot of people. You get both encouragement to continue and a sense of responsibility--as in you don't want to let people down by giving up. (This is a definitely a motivating factor for me when it comes to writing my serial novel.)

Anyways, decent weekend. Yeah, I overate a bit and I had plenty of sweets, but nothing that felt excessive (felt like a pre-No-S day). I ended up working on Sunday, so I didn't have time to exercise like I wanted to, but instead of considering that a fail, I just gave myself an S-day pass. At present, it would seem that 6 days a week of exercise is just not feasible. So maybe Sunday needs to be viewed as a chance to bonus, rather than a requirement that I can't meet for one reason or another frequently.

I have been slacking off a bit with the exercise by just working out using my WiiFit--it's not nearly as challenging as personal trainer "game" I use, but I'm better at talking myself into doing it when I'm feeling low on energy, so it's better than nothing. (And I do make it a point to do some aerobics, so it's not all easy stuff.)

[keriamon]

Today's going to be bad. I've had a busy morning, which involved doing some work for my previous boss before heading to my regular job.

I got ravenously hungry for lunch early and then was a bit disappointed by the size of my vegetable lasagna.

There's a line from the "The Hunger Games" about having "hollow days": days when, no matter how much you eat, you never feel full. I am feeling one of those coming on.

And an unopened box of Turkish Delights and a few last Dubai chocolates keep sending out their siren song in the lobby.

[Tessytwinkle]

Oh dear!!! Hang in there, ignore that siren song, although just reading your words about Turkish Delight made me long for some!!! These are powerful forces in our lives and you are doing so well to combat them and turn your habits round. I hope the day goes better for you than you fear and you survive your ' hollow day' ( great way to think of it, I loved the hunger games).
Keep going
Tessy

[keriamon]

Somehow I managed to get through yesterday with no sweets or snacks!

(I did end up skipping exercise, because I didn't really have time, but I got right back on the wagon this morning.)

As I was going home last night, I thought, "I BETTER have something to show for all this self-denial. If don't lose some weight, I'm going to eat that whole box of Turkish delights."

Which, of course, isn't the right thing to think at all, but not getting something you really, really want can make you mad like that.

Still, when I got on the Wii this morning, I couldn't help but weigh myself. Mind you, I have been weighing on Monday mornings (this Monday showed a .9 loss) and I know it's not a good idea to weigh more frequently than once a week because your weight can fluctuate several pounds from day to day and once-a-week weighings show a more accurate picture of weight loss and gain.

Yeah, I know all of that, but still, I wanted some proof that all this self-denial and exercise was worthwhile.

And from Monday to today (Thursday), the Wii reports that I've lost 2 pounds!

Yeah, probably not completely accurate (it's not the world's most accurate scale to start with), but it still shows a downward trend!

Those candies look a lot less tempting today!

[Hippy Dippy]

You Go, Girl!!

Yes, the scale is a horrible thing. Since starting NoS, I've gotten worse on my weigh-ins. I used to just go once a week or two and not think about it. But, now, I'm weighing almost every morning. Not good. Monday's were going to be the one-day-a-week thing, and I haven't kept to it. And my weight does fluctuate. Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down 1.2 pounds or 3.6 pounds. I really, really want to see the down 5 pounds, dammit!!!

I do try to think of non-food things to give myself as a "thank me". Or more importantly, the "consolation" prize that isn't food related for when I'm down or depressed about my progress, or no progress, or the usual impatient I'm not-progressing-as-fast-as-I'd-like progress. Eh. So, I try to buy some cheap sparkly bauble (fun jewelry), or make up or go to Goodwill and find some totally I don't need, but it's pretty and on sale thing. Or there's the manicure/pedicure decadent thank-me.

I guess we all could remember that we are doing our own personal epic battle and if it was so easy, we'd sleep and wake up thinner.

Oh, and I get those "hollow" days, too!! Good descriptor!

Hang in there, you're doing good!!

Hippy Dippy

[keriamon]

I felt like lifting some weights this morning (notice that--I FELT like exercising... I didn't just do it because I had to), so I did.

When I was standing around at work, waiting to get on the computer (I share with another part-time worker and we trade out at lunch), I put my hands on my hips and...

It felt like there was less there!

And last night, when I got out of the tub, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Is there less there?" (Normally, when I see myself in a mirror, I think "God, look how fat I've gotten.")

It's been two rather hard weeks (I've averaged 4 days a week exercising, but all 5 days a week on No-S; no red days for my diet!), but now that I'm starting to see some results, I'm psyched to keep it up. All the denial is starting to pay off.

Although I am going to take some of those damn Turkish delights home for dessert tonight! (I'm Jewish, so my weekend starts Friday at dark and stops Sunday night at dark). No one's eaten any of them, so it's not like I lost out by waiting a couple of days.

[Tessytwinkle]

Brilliant. Keep going. You really have the motivation now - enjoy the Turkish delight. You have earned it!!
Tessy

[jw]

enjoyed reading about the siren song of the Turkish Delight, Keriamon. You were so good to hold out! Tomorrow is the day -- enjoy it!

[keriamon]

Well, the weekend is over. I now feel like I've broken the sugar habit. I don't crave it all the time (or automatically after eating meals), and now, when I eat it, I get tired of it quicker. I still eat more than I want out of habit, but that should diminish over time, until I eat a few pieces and am done.

The weekend was good. I ate some of the Turkish Delights, but found to them to be Turkish So-Sos. They're really not my thing. (So no worries about consuming the entire box!) I also had some cookies and a chocolate bar and a couple of glasses of Dr. Pepper with supper Friday night, so plenty of sweets. My meals were fairly moderate and I only had one snack Saturday, and that was after a pretty rigorous workout. (My calves are still sore!)

I looked back at my HabitCal and actually found that, with my extra day of exercise Saturday, I'm averaging 5 days of exercise, not four, as I originally thought. So I'm doing better with that than anticipated.

Time to get back in the groove.

[Tessytwinkle]

Isn't it weird how much you can crave something. But if you can get past that moment it does not seem so special. Good work on the exercise. I really need to get that going soon. Have a good week
Tessy

[keriamon]

Thanks for the encouragement!

I'm wearing a dress today that was starting to pull a little across the belly (too snug!), but since starting No-S, I've reversed the weight gain so that it no longer pulls across the belly. Next goal: to get my brown pants comfortably loose again. (They're borderline uncomfortable right now.)

I feel like I'm finally over the exercise hump. For the first two weeks, it was everything I could do to make myself exercise. After doing just 15 minutes--even just mild, Wii board balance exercises--I felt exhausted.

It confused me, because I could remember feeling energized by exercise, not exhausted by it. It took many miles of walking before I actually felt tired and in need of a long rest.

But, finally, at the end of last week, I started feeling better after exercising. As Newton's law goes, an ass at rest tends to stay at rest until a sufficiently-strong force makes it move. ...Or something like that.

It would seem that the longer your ass rests (and/or the older you get), the more force, consistently applied, it takes to break free from the inertia. Proof that it's bad to let yourself slide into couch-potato status for any length of time: the longer you're stopped, the harder it is to get moving again.

[keriamon]

Things suddenly got crazy for me! My former boss called to ask me if I was still looking for a job, and long story short, I'm leaving my part-time job, moving back to where I'm from (and where my husband and I have been trying to move to for 10 years!), and going back to work for my previous company making more money than I ever have before.

No more meatless Tuesdays for me. Hallelujah brother!

So now it's scramble time to try to find an apartment (I'm going to live with my parents until I find one, but I want that to be short-term!!!).

I've stuck with my diet every day, but the exercise schedule went to hell last week--what with driving all over the place for interviews and then having to pull overtime at my regular job; I only did it one day last week!

I haven't had time to get on the Wii to see what weight loss, if any, I had last week. Given how little I exercised and the fast food that I ate, I'll keep my fingers crossed for break even.

(Still, I wore a pair of shorts yesterday that I could have sworn were a bit time the last time I wore them; now they fit everywhere and are just a tad bit loose in the waist.)

[keriamon]

Alas, when I got on the Wii this morning, I had gained .4 pounds (although it's possible that's water-weight or that I never actually lost that much/errors in the reading, etc.) So that takes my total weight loss to 2.5 instead of 2.9 pounds. Still, I'm better off than when I started and a few of my clothes are starting to show it.

I did manage to exercise this morning. Life is going to be crazy with this move to a new job, but the place where I'm going to work has a 1/2 mile outdoor track that I can use at lunch easily enough. (I used to walk on it all the time.) I think they still have a small gym, so there's also the option of somewhat more intense workouts and working out when the weather's bad (although I've been known to walk on the track with an umbrella before).

So, a temporary blip on the radar, but bluer skies ahead on all fronts.

[keriamon]

Okay, so everything went out the window for three weeks while I moved and started a new job. I've been craving and eating sweets like nobody's business.

Needless to say, earlier losses have been regained.

But now that I'm more or less settled into a routine, I'm going to get back on the diet and exercise wagon. I bought myself a Wii Fit Plus, so I have more games (I was getting bored with the old ones), plus a couple of more intense workout games. I also have a walking track at work and a small gym and stairs to climb (I'm on the 4th floor and usually have to go up or down a floor at least once a day), so there are ways to get in exercise, if I'll just do it.

There's also the motivating factor of highly-polished chrome elevator doors, which make me confront the fact that my belly is now so big, I look pregnant. And there are a number of other people around me who are trying to eat healthier, exercise, and lose or keep off weight. Plus the entire company has regular "get fit" challenges and competitions.

So, that's where I am now. Back to the drawing board.

[Kittykat150]

Welcome back! Full steam ahead.....
Kat