Linda's daily check-in

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 4:27 pm

Hi Linda- I'm sure that little bit of gain is tough... just wanted to encourage you not to let it play with your head! You are doing great, don't let it derail you, if that's the way you're feeling tempted right now. Concentrate on habit, don't try to over-correct, etc., etc.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:00 pm

Thank you Sonya! Really appreciate the encouragement. I'm going to hang in there.

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:12 pm

Hi Linda,

I just saw a message that you wrote on another's post basically saying that a minor setback it not going to impede you in the long run and that "you got this". I thought that this would be really helpful to repeat back for your own self talk because you are probably not as encouraging to yourself. I know you can do this- even with the minor setback!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:55 pm

Just wanted to chime in with encouragement. And go you for getting back into the exercise

Also, you posted "huge dinner, drinks and dessert" the night before, so that gain is VERY unlikely to be anything to do with body fat, and probably reflects the fact that you haven't digested your previous largish meal yet. I really like oolala's rule of only weighing herself after several (I think 3?) green days.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:38 am

Thanks nat! Youre right, I'm sure this is just a temporary set back.

Thanks iron! That meal was actually from sat night not Sunday. Sunday was quite moderate and although 2 lbs up on a Monday is fairly common, I'm just frustrated because now I'm down a total of 3 lbs. The scale is going in the wrong direction! I will re-think the Monday weigh-in ritual.

I'm fine about my weight though. It's annoying but I'm fairly confident I will find a way to get the scale moving again. I'm not off track so that's good. My habits are still strong, I'm exercising, eating healthy moderate meals so the rest will fall into place over time.

I'm stressing now because my tenant just texted me saying there's some repairs needed at the house. Boy I wish ppl would give me bad news in the morning instead of right before bed. Oh well some day we will sell that place.

Break: cherry vanilla oatmeal, sm
Lunch: turkey-avo wrap, pretzels, grapes, iced sm
Dinner: cornmeal crusted ratatouille tart, meatless Cobb salad w lite blue cheese dressing, skinny cocktail

Exercise: 30 mins

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 5:53 am

Weird day--lots of ups & downs. Maybe it's something to do with the stormy weather? The day ended happily though so it's all good.

Break: blueberry smoothie, coffee w nf creamer
Lunch: piece of veg tart, salad , cappuccino
Dinner: Thai coconut mussels (so good), salad w ginger carrot dressing, wine

Exercise: 25 min cardio; 2 sets ab/back

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 5:46 am

A good day. I always feel so torn about my housewife status but I love being home. I love cooking and taking care of the house and being home for my kids when they get home from school. It's hard though because it's not really valued in our society so I carry guilt/shame about my choices.

Yet every time I think about getting a job or even just taking a class a couple of days a week, it just doesn't feel right. I guess I think of this as my job and I truly want to do the best I possibly can. I'm even reluctant to go out for a long lunch with a friend because it's cutting into my work hours. People don't really get it though so I'm not sure how to feel better about what I've chosen to do but I think allowing myself to think of this as a job is a start. I need to remember it's okay to protect my time. I guess I'll figure it out.

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit, sm
Lunch: Thai mussels, barley, 6 chips, 2 graham crackers, iced skinny mocha
Dinner: Kung pao zoddles w chicken, glass of wine

Exercise: walked 30 mins
I'm really enjoying this 30 min for 100 days challenge & even have a couple ppl doing it w me on Facebook. I'm not sure if we're suppose to have rest days but I've chosen not to. Usually when I go to workout, I feel like I need to do something long & intense or it doesn't count. Now I realize if I do a smaller amount every single day that adds up to a lot. And it can be intense some days and not so much other days but will balance out to prob just the right amount. I'm finding creative ways to fit exercise in even if it means doing laps in my house. Pretty cool!

ItsMe2015 · Post by **ItsMe2015** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:47 am

I admire you for staying home. It is truly a wonderful gift for those who are able to do so. I did for a short time but financial issues forced me back to work. If I could leave my job today and stay home I would do it without hesitation. Enjoy it! Don't feel guilty!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:40 pm

Your meals sound so good!
I want to chime in too, and say that you are giving an amazing gift to your family by staying/working at home. I can't think of a better investment of anyone's time than being there for their children as they navigate all the difficulties kids face today and providing a stable home environment where kids can flourish. In a way, it is a luxury to have an intact marriage these days, as well as being in a financial position to have only one parent working outside the home.
I know the grass is always greener and all that, but I know some ladies who would love to get out of the rat race and be at home for their families, but are forced by economic and other situations to go out to work every day. It can be very stressful and not all that meaningful, though I know each person's experience is unique. I hope that you can feel really good about what you are doing, because you have every reason to!

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 1:08 am

Linda,

I gotta chime in here too- I truly think there's nothing more important than doing what you do. I've seen a negative impact in our household by simply taking a job with an increased commute! I hope that one day I can have a similar situation, especially because I think taking care of one's family and household is so important for the welfare of your ENTIRE family.

On another note, I love your thoughts on the 30 mins a day for 100 days. While I'm not quite doing 30 mins, I find that just after a few days, I'm finding myself looking forward to that time to be active (especially after sitting at a desk job all day). I know you will meet your goal!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 2:13 am

I've got to agree with other posters, I'm at home for at least a year at the moment with my second child, and it's great. I know I'm very lucky, as lots of people wouldn't be able to afford the year of no income, so I'm trying to kind of bask in it as much as possible. Every so often I feel squirmy about being full time at home, when my husband only works part time. But then I remind myself to shake off my Protestant-work-ethic upbringing. I think it is a beautiful thing if raising kids can be fun and relaxed, and instead of something I do with gritted teeth in between conference calls.
Ultimately I'll go back to work, because I am our main breadwinner and I have a brilliant job I love.

Also, I've seen estimates for what it would cost to hire someone to do the work of a stay at home parent: a nanny, an on-call night nanny, a chauffeur, a cook, a cleaner, a valet, etc, etc. In 2011 Forbes estimated that the value of your work would be around $115,000 a year if you had to pay others to do it. In 2014 Salary.com put it's value at close to $120k.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:45 am

Thanks so much nat, Cindy, Sonya & iron! You guys have really helped me see this in a different light. I think I just need to own it and be proud of my choices and of course grateful that I even have this choice to make.

I definitely would go back to work if we needed to for financial reasons but the amount I'd make compared to DH is laughable. If I felt a calling to a certain career or a job I'd love, then the small amount wouldn't matter but since I just don't, it seems to make more sense for me to hold down the fort and keep things running smoothly.

I grew up in a chaotic household with a single mom who did her best and I guess I just didn't want that for my kids. I envied my friends who came home to a clean house and a frig full of food. My house not so much. Mayo sandwiches anyone? I was a latch key kid and often left alone at night. Although don't get me wrong we still had plenty of happy times. I just craved the security of a more stable home. I just want that for my kids. Okay enough justifying, just own it, right?

Today was good although DH was home & kind of threw me off my game. I did manage to clean the hood of my stove and a few other fun chores!

went out to froyo after school w a friend and her kids. (I had a coffee) Was fun. We've been spending a lot of time together. Yay!

Break: 1.5 vegan blueberry lavender scone w walnuts, coffee w nf creamer
Lunch: chicken Cobb salad w light dress & pita croutons
Sm
Dinner: mahi-mahi fish tacos w avocado cream, nf refried beans, nectarine

Exercise: 15 min home routine x2

PS

Nat: glad you're finding an exercise routine you're enjoying!

Cindy: I hope your work situation isn't too stressful. Thx for your encouragement.

Sonya: thanks for complimenting my food. I actually broke down in tears the other day because I'm finding it so hard to cook for everyone's different tastebuds/needs. Vegetarian, low carb, low fat etc. luckily everyone happily ate dinner tonight & the lunchboxes came home empty.

Iron: I love that salary estimate & will keep it in the back of my mind.

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:32 pm

lavender scones..........hmm....... I'm planning to make scones tomorrow (cream tea crave for the S day this week!) I might try putting a little bit of lavender in them. I also find that coffee stirred with a sprig of lavender makes it taste pretty special. You have to like lavender of course!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:18 am

Cookie, I love lavender too but yeah I think you're right that it's not for everyone. Let me know how your scones come out tomorrow. I'm making chocolate chip ones. I'm reading this novel about this woman who opened up a scone shop and now I've been craving scones!

Today was okay. I met with a friend for coffee and I'm just not sure about her. She always wants to get together but then she always seems anxious to go. Then she'll mention she wants to get together the very next week but she's always going on about how I'm welcome to bring any friends. It makes me feel like maybe she is bored of just my company. Ugh I'm no good at social stuff. I think I really just do better when I hang out w/ DH and other couples! Of course I do have a new friend who things are working out with very well but I met her through DH so maybe he's the key to friendships that work for me.

To make matters worse I'm having serious Facebook blues. I dont know why I re-joined! I wasn't on there for quite awhile but somehow I got sucked back in and now I'm regretting it. I just had an old college friend "friend" me and looking at her page made me seriously depressed. She seems to have an amazing social life, loves her job as a teacher and her husband is still madly in love with her. Not that DH and I have problems but we don't exactly act like newlyweds anymore! I do not have the pyschological make-up to handle facebook well.

I would just stop going on but now I feel a sense of commitment because I have two other friends doing this 30min for 100 day thing. Ive been posting my workouts daily and don't want them to think I dropped the ball. The one I see all the time so I can just text her to let her know I"m still doing it but the other one I'm not close friends with so not sure what to do. Why I feel so responsible for other's well-being I'm not sure. Maybe I'll just start posting every 5 days, then every 10 days etc till I get to 100. She probably won't even care. *sigh*

Also, it was a RED day and I feel pretty annoyed about it. After the Facebook moment I dove into some of my daughter's popcorn. To be fair it wasn't a vast amount but still...okay I need to snap out of this mood.

-34.6 lbs
I'll take it! Two people commented on my weight loss today so that's pretty awesome. Hopefully I didnt ruin it with that popcorn. I know i didn't but you know how our minds work.

Break: raisin bread w/ cream cheese, sm
Lunch: fish taco on lowcarb tortilla, nectarine, iced sm
Dinner: chipotole chicken salad w/ guac-no cheese, s cream or dressing,
REd moment: maybe 2 cups of popcorn if I'm honest

exercise: 30 mins walking

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:31 am

Linda, I'm glad the 100 Day challenge idea worked out for you. It looks like a great way to establish an exercise habit. Good luck with your facebook/ friendship issues. I don't any good advice but I'm rooting for ya' .

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 12:58 pm

Woohoo! I knew that -31 was just a blip!

Ugh, this is why I am yet to join Facebook,and will likely never join. Every day having to compare my internal reality with everyone else's external "best" face - whenever I look at my husband's FB it seems like every person just had the happiest day, prettiest photo, etc etc. It just seems like having to spend every day at my year high school reunion - not my thing at all.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:49 pm

Thank you ginger pie! I'm really enjoying the exercise challenge. I actually feel like I can't not do it if that makes sense. I feel a deep sense of commitment to it since I said I would do it. Kind of like how I was when I first started NoS. I was SO strict with myself. Now I kind of know when I can blur the edges a bit and that having a red day now and then is still fine in the overall picture.

Yes iron, a little blip! I actually got rid of the portion of my signature that had my weekly average because watching that number go slowly down was a bit discouraging. I think it's better to just focus on the positive (total weight loss). I'm okay with things going slow at this point. I'd really just like to reach my goal by next summer when we're planning a road trip to Alaska. We have several stops along the way of friends we'd like to see. All friends through DH yep I see a pattern here.

As for facebook, oh boy iron you are so right to stay strong on this one. I cannot find anything redeaming about it. My mom & mil aren't even on there so it's not like I can say I'm using to keep them update on our family or anything. I've decided to go on every other day for a couple of days then just check in every now and then with my "20 days of 30 mins; 50 days of 30 mins etc so my friends know I haven't abandoned the challenge". Then yeah maybe once/year or something if that.

Okay off to make scones!

Linda

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:32 pm

I think there must be something in the planets this weekend - because I've been feeling duff as well. I came off facebook about a year ago - and haven't regretted it. I am a bit of twitterite though!

I had to really pull myself up by the boot-straps today to get myself out of the funk I was in.

Hopefully Sunday will be better!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:37 pm

Hi Linda,

I hear this about Facebook from so many of my friends (I'm not on it). They just end up feeling bad about themselves after spending time on it. I think your idea to check in once and awhile sounds like it makes good sense. Am also happy to hear you are taking measures so that you feel the best about your journey (I.e.) removing your signature line. That's showing good self care. Anyway, enjoy your scones!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:25 am

Thanks nat & cookie for confirming my thoughts on facebook. It's crazy how addicting it can be at the same time. I can't tell you how many times today I felt the pull to post something--picture of my scones, video of my daughter off-roading etc. Why do I need so much external validation?

I have nothing against technology cookie and I bet twitter can be fun. I love Instagram but it has a very different feel. It's really about the photography and is very supportive. For instance, coming on here is such the opposite experience of fb. Everyone is so supportive, encouraging and real. I find it so helpful to hear about other's struggles/experiences. It helps me to have a more realistic prespective whereas fb skews reality.

Anyway, today was good. My DH and oldest daughter were away all day so things were very quiet. A bit of a snacky day with chocolate here and there but nothing too crazy.

Break: yogurt, granola, coffee w/ nf creamer
snack: piece of see's chocolate
Lunch: tuna wrap, chips & guacomole
snack: chocolate lollipop, chocolate chip scone, sm
Dinner: 1/2 scone, yogurt, granola
Dessert: choc lolli, piece of see's

Scones were so good:
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/01/skin ... cones.html

Exercise: 20 min walk, 10 min home routine (step machine, weights, walking)

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 11:31 pm

Linda,

Those scones look so good!!! I feel like they would be just sweet enough with the chocolate chips and I forget how much I LOVE recipes with buttermilk. Thanks for the link. I'll save this one for an upcoming S day.

Have a great upcoming week!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 3:14 am

Thanks nat! Yes, they're super good. My kids are requesting I make another batch. They're lightened up but you won't miss the extra fat at all. I'm going to try to make some low-carb ones for DH this week.

Today was fine. I noticed it really helps me to have a moderate S day if I squeeze a work-out in there. I did get a little overfull at dinner but I think it's just in comparison to the normally light weight way I eat these days.

I'm ready for tomorrow. Because it's an N day & because I'm craving peace & quiet.

Break: 1/2 choc chip scone, tea w/ milk
snack: small piece of break casserole
Lunch: few pieces of sushi, sugar free iced almond latte
snack: couple handfuls of nuts
Dinner: spicy shrimp w/ rice, sweet potato fries, milk
Dessert: piece of see's candy (was unnecessary--had it cuz I could)

Exercise: 30 mins cardio; set of back & abs

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:42 am

Oh dear what a day... I woke up crazy grumpy...snapping at my kids...moody and felt really off for most of the day. DH asked me what was wrong this morning & I couldn't even articulate what I was feeling. I just mumbled something about needing just one hour without someone needing something from me.

Luckily he went to work & the girls were at school so I had just that. I caught up on some of my shows & just sat there & drank my coffee. I felt a little better but was tearing up over everything. I finally got it together & went to the store. On the way back all I could think of was menopause? (I'm 47). I put on some progesterone cream when I got home and soon felt calm & very sleepy. I did some baking & by the time everyone came home, I was back to my old self. Weird...

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit, coffee
Lunch: avocado & veg wrap, sweet potato fries, sm
Dinner: black bean veg burger on sand thin w chipotle mayo, zucchini tots, nectarine

Exercise: 15 mins dog walk; 15 min home routine

Love this 100 day challenge. Got me to walk the dogs at 9 pm when I normally would have blown it off. I would have missed the beautiful night w the crescent moon & my dogs happy panting faces afterwards. They really ask for so little. â˜ºï¸

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 5:51 am

False alarm--just that time of the month. I really should keep better track of these things!

I am having some sort of a midlife kind of thing though. At least some realizations of some sorts. Mainly that I'm tired of wasting time worrying about the future & being bitter about the past. The only thing there really is, is right now this moment. So I'm really trying hard to live in the moment. It's hard but I'm having little successes here & there and I can see it's something I'll definitely get better at with practice.

I'm also realizing I can't change people and my happiness shouldn't depend on their behavior anyway. My happiness is my responsibility. If I don't like my current situation I can either leave, change my thoughts about it or simply fully accept it. Lastly, I think I need to realize it's okay to feel happiness. I think I have a lot of privelaged guilt. Maybe deep down I feel like if I enjoy life while so many others are suffering, karma will even the playing field. Probably a better approach would be to do something to relieve the suffering of others.

Okay enough rambling! Today was good. I always feel so relieved when I realize I was just experiencing pms & not the beginnings of a nervous breakdown. Not yet anyways...

Break: Vegan scone, coffee
Lunch: lentils, avocado, tomatoes, eggs & a couple chips, iced sm
Dinner: low-carb carnitas burrito w guacamole, 1/2 glass wine

Exercise: 30 mins home routine

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 4:26 am

Good day! Got a lot done. I also made a daily schedule for myself which makes me feel a lot better. The budget is fine but a little tedious. It's hard being so controlled all the time and I actually went a little crazy at Target yesterday but ended up moving stuff around and making it work within the budget. I think I'll get used to it though.

In the meantime I'm toying with some work at home ideas. We'll see. My follow through isn't very good but it's fun to think about these things at least.

Break: low-carb blueberry scone, sm
Lunch: black beans & pork bowl, small bowl w yogurt, fruit & granola, iced sm
Dinner: pumpkin soup, crackers, 1/2 scone

Weird eating day but I'm out of grocery budget money (till tomorrow!) so just eating what we have.

Exercise: 30 min walk

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:58 pm

-36.4 lbs woot!

Lost almost 2 lbs since last week. So happy things are still moving in the right direction. I really need to buy some new pants/shorts though. The only pair that fit me are one pair of jeans and it's just too hot and muggy to wear them during the day. Not a bad problem to have!

Hope everyone has a great day!

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:33 pm

Awesome job Linda!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:08 pm

Great work Linda! Yes, a very nice problem to have

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:58 am

Linda,

I noticed your new tagline when you commented on my thread- CONGRATS!!! You are so inspiring and I'm hoping that you will reach your goal relatively "unscathed". Also, I wanted to share a book I'm reading called the Crossroads of Should and Must. I'm about 1/2 way through, but it's pretty awesome and is helping me through some of this career "funk" I'm in. I have read in some of your threads that you sometimes deal with questions about your choices around work and thought this may be helpful.

Anyway, so happy for you- good to see great things happen to great people! Go YOU!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:46 am

Thanks SO much cookie, iron & nat! It feels amazing to be comfortable in my body again. To be able to go anywhere and meet anyone without feeling sel-conscious about my size is such a gift. To be able to just throw on jeans & a t-shirt and feel great is something I could only fantasize about before.

Nat: thank you for the book recommendation! Funny because yesterday I was thinking how I needed a book to help me sort out my career or non-career issues. I pulled out an old book by Barbara Sher called I could do Anything I want if I just knew what it was. That really describes how I feel a lot of the time so it's helping me a bit but that book looks right up my alley so will check it out too. Thx!!

Today was good although a little bit of funny business at lunch time. My moms bf was passing through town today with friends so I had some snacks out for them. My plan was not to partake and have lunch after they left but they ended up staying till 2pm so I kind of virtually plated which is fine but it was spread out over a long period so a little iffy. Anyway not worrying about it. I'm craving dots for my NoS treats tomorrow!

Break: raisin toast w cream cheese, fruit, coffee w cream
Lunch: 2 olives, bite of hummus, raw veggies, 2 bites of cheese, 2 nectarines, iced sm
Dinner: bowl of skinny gumbo w brown rice, glass wine

Exercise: 30 mins home routine

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:54 am

I reckon you can count that as a one-plate success Linda - mainly because you are so CONSCIOUS of what you ate, and you dealt with a tricky situation in the best way possible. The snacks you provided became lunch. It didn't lead to an afternoon of snacking AFTER they'd gone because you were so starving!

I am going to check out that book too.......... I'm in a career 'funk'!

My food money for the week is all used up except for a few coins - it will be a create and 'sandwich lunch' filled week I think! Must go down the garden and pick the apples that are there (free food!)

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:19 am

Thanks cookie! I think you're right and honestly it's hard for me to think in terms of green or red days anymore. I am not 100% strict with the NoS rules anymore. I tend to take a nibble here and there as I'm preparing meals but in my head I'm always virtually plating and I it's usually something pretty inconsequential like a slice of cucumber. It seems to working for me okay but I felt like I should clarify that for full disclosure.

Anyway today was good. A little chaotic eating wise but had some nice family time. My youngest daughter had a bday party to attend so I took my oldest daughter to frozen yogurt & shopping. So nice to spend time together having fun instead of arguing or just listening to her ranting. She's very passionate/intense about issues which I admire but isn't exactly relaxing but today we just had fun & goofed off so I'm thrilled. I think we need to do this more often for sure.

Break: toast w pb, fruit, coffee, handful pb pretzels
Lunch: scone, froyo, couple handfuls of dots
Dinner: pb pretzels, dots, couple handful mini trail cookies, milk

Wow not the most balanced day but I guess I needed to let loose a little!

Exercise: 30 min walk w dogs & family--yay!

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Sun Aug 23, 2015 7:01 am

you got your dots

(I don't even know what they are! )

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 am

Yes I got my dots and finished off a large box at that! Dots are like gummy fruit flavored candies. I'm not sure why I like them so much but I crave them often.

I feel like I ate too much this weekend and it makes me anxious. Last Monday I didn't weigh myself and it worked out well so I'll try to refrain but it makes me a little nervous.

Today was fine. Very calm. I finally got time to do our bi-monthly budget. It's a little discouraging to see how much money we spend every month. I know we're fortunate to be able to pay all our bills which include our dream house & everything it takes to maintain that but there's just not a lot of money left over once everything's paid. Still things are a lot better. We have a tiny cushion at the end of each pay period instead of the sometimes negative balance I'd find. As soon as dh gets another bonus, we can work on making our cushion a little bigger.

Break: vegan muffin, 1/4 blueberry muffin, sm
Lunch: chicken & avo sandwich, iced sm
Dinner: carne asada, cowboy beans (so good), grilled mushrooms, skinny cocktail
Dessert: bowl of trail mix cookies, milk

Exercise: very wimpy 30 min home routine

tacodiscos · Post by **tacodiscos** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:28 pm

Miss you on the August challenge!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 5:29 am

Sorry taco! Its just hard for me to think of things in such black & white (or green & red) terms anymore. I think nos has morphed into my own way of eating these days although the basics of nos are still mostly intact.

Anyway feeling utterly exhausted. I deep cleaned my entire frig & freezer today, then I did lots of baking & cooking which resulted in three loads of dishes plus lots of hand washing. I managed to get my 30 mins in somehow after all that but I'm truly tired now and we're definitely eating leftovers tomorrow.

I didn't weigh today myself but am feeling anxious about my weight. Maybe I'll step on the scale tomorrow.

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit, sm
Lunch: salad, fruit, yogurt, granola, coffee w creamer
Dinner: eggplant meatballs, pasta, small piece of bread, salad

Exercise: 30 min home routine

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:44 am

Break: fruit, coffee w creamer
Lunch: grilled chicken wrap, handful of chips w salsa, sm
Iced sm
Dinner: taco salad w ground turkey, glass of wine

Exercise: 30 mins stretching & strengthing

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 7:02 am

Thanks for reminding me I have a glass of wine in the fridge! Might have that this evening

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:19 am

Cheers cookie!

Today was good. I felt happy & relaxed and just able to enjoy our happy little family. We had a monsoon which is always exciting in the land of eternal sunshine. It was followed by a beautiful sunset which I enjoyed after an early dinner while I took the dogs for a walk. Dh was home early and overall just a nice evening.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day & I have no idea what to expect. The week was moderate but that was followed by a weekend of some heavy eating so I guess we'll see.

Break: vegan lavender walnut blueberry scone, coffee w creamer, fruit
Lunch: veg burger on sandwich thin, small bowl of yogurt, fruit & nuts, sm
Dinner: chicken pot pie soup (so good); salad; grapes, 1/2 glass of wine

Weird: I was wanting a drink or two most nights in the summer which had me a little worried that it was becoming a strong habit. Now I seem to have lost interest in drinking more than 1/2 glass. Most nights nothing. I guess I was just in vacation mode b4.

Exercise: 30 min walk w doggies (shihtzu & wolf hybrid--bffs) ðŸ¶ðŸ¶

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:46 pm

Good luck for your weigh-in tomorrow............

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 29, 2015 1:56 am

-36.8 lbs

Thanks cookie! Only down .4 lbs this week but hey better than nothing! I have a wedding in the beginning of October so am hoping to be down to -40 lbs but we'll see.

This weekend should be good. Have one child going to a sleepover and one having a sleepover here so it means much less of the usual sibling fighting. I love my kids but boy do they push me to the edge sometimes. I mean today they got in like five fights before 8am!

The budget is going better than I realized. Now that we've been staying on budget for a bit and paying everything on schedule, we're in a good position. We're going to have a surplus of funds next paycheck which I can put towards our cushion. The idea with ynab is to have one month income saved up in your checking acct so you're always living off of last months paycheck. We're also getting a little saved up in our categories like "birthdays" "house repairs" etc so it won't be such a shock to the budget when they come up. I wish we had lived like this years ago but oh well, live and learn!

Break: cinnamon raisin toast w cream cheese, sm
Lunch: 1/2 portion kale chicken Caesar salad, iced sm
Dinner: chipotle chicken salad, fruit, glass of wine

Edit: Had a red moment right before bed and grabbed a handful of nuts. I think the constant diligence is getting to me. Definitely ready for an S day tomorrow!

Exercise: home routine 30 mins!!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Aug 29, 2015 11:26 pm

Wow Linda, you are going so well! I don't know if your 5 pound rewards are still fitting in with your new budget, but I hope you do stop every so often and give yourself a huge pat on the back and really feel how far you've come and how great you're doing.

Well done on the budget too. Apart from the relief and calm of knowing where everything goes, and having a cushion, you are setting such a great example for your girls. I know you had a lot of worry about facing this, so well done you!

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:30 am

Living off last month's paycheck sounds like a good goal. I'm not there yet. I like that one as a first step to being more secure. Thanks for throwing that in for me to catch!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:10 am

Thank you iron! Haven't really been doing the rewards but had to buy clothes here & there so it's all good. The budget has been great. Was hard to face but so glad I did.

Cookie: yeah if you go on the ynab (you need a budget) website, it has a lot of great info. We are not there yet either but working on it.

Omg, most over the top weekend in a long time. Don't know what I was thinking. Not binge eating luckily but definitely just way too much food. My eating was too chaotic for me to list everything but let's just say homemade cake was involved & lots of it.

I'm a bit annoyed with myself & worried this will set me back a bit. I swear I feel like I gained 10 lbs. I may weigh myself tomorrow just to keep things in perspective. I'm not sure why I went so crazy but maybe just overdue for some rebellious behavior. I've been so diligent. Maybe it was just getting to me.

The good news is that tomorrow is an N day-yay! I can jump right back in where I left off and if it means a week of no weight loss or even a tiny gain well it's all part of the process. Just a little blip in the long-term plan.

Oh and I also didn't do my 30 mins either day but once agin I'll just jump back in where I was and go from there. No biggie, right? I hope!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:39 am

lpearlmom wrote:I can jump right back in where I left off and if it means a week of no weight loss or even a tiny gain well it's all part of the process. Just a little blip in the long-term plan.

Hi Linda,
Thanks for stopping by my thread.
Yeah, it is good to keep in mind that exuberant S days and missing some exercise will happen, and are all part of this bieng for real life and for the long haul.
You're doing great, and seem to thrive on portion sizes that sound like they would be tough for me to live with. I guess I could work on scaling back some...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:45 pm

Thanks Sonya for the encouragement. My portions do tend to be on the small size but I'm short (5'3") and I don't think I'm really meant to eat a lot of calories each day and I don't usually feel overly deprived/hungry but yeah this weekend might have been a little bit of back lash.

I probably shouldn't have weighed myself today. I'm up 5 lbs--ugh! I'm taking it harder than I should. Probably a lot of it is water weight but still it's discouraging.

I think I need to re-think my S days.....

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 4:17 am

-31.6 lbs

Wow, I'm really paying for last weekend. Not only with the weight gain but just generally feeling ick ! Heartburn & lethargic--not good! My body is just like wth??

Luckily I didn't have much appetite today. Hopefully I'll get my weight back down pretty quickly. Pushing through.....

Break: yogurt, fruit, nuts,coffee w creamer
Lunch: low-carb w ground turkey, beans, corn; piece fruit; sm
Dinner: 1 skinny chili relleno; glass milk

Exercise: 30 mins laps around the house whilst talking on the phone (yes, I'm counting it!)

I'm bringing back my 5 lb rewards. Next reward:
-40 lbs--gel mani/pedi

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:33 am

Hey Linda, I agree that a lot of that is probably water and undigested food. It is not physically possible for your body to store 5 pounds of fat in a day.

Just remember, you've lost over 30 pounds. So whatever you're doing is working and I don't think you necessarily need to rethink anything. Don't let one wild weekend confuse the issue and drag you off track. The damage isn't done by those two over the top S days, but by the way we react to them.

Pleased to see the 5lb reward is back!

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:30 am

Hi Linda,

Just stopping by to say that "you got this". I expect the scale will be moving in the right direction shortly. Probably hard not to worry (even just a little bit), but I'm confident you will continue to move forward in a positive way.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:52 am

Thanks iron for the perspective! Don't worry I'm not planning on getting rid of S days or anything. Clearly I'm losing weight so don't necessarily need to change anything but for my sanity I think it might be helpful to at least have some kind of game plan going into my S days.

I think I'm just ready to use my S days as I imagine they were intended to be used. It's nice we can have them so we can partake in social events like parties and eating out or planning a nice treat we've been craving but eating from dawn till dusk yeah I don't think that's the idea. I think I'd like to do this with a little more grace which ultimately will be more enjoyable and not leave me shattered come Monday morning. Anyway just something to consider but overall yeah what I'm doing generally seems to be working.

Thank you nat for the vote of confidence! I do think I will get there too. The road is just a bit bumpy at times!

-34.2 lbs -- better!

Break: blueberry smoothie, coffee w creamer
Lunch: protein shake, handful nuts, nectarine
Dinner: turkey burger on sandwich thin, chickpea curry w barley, glass wine

Exercise: 40 min walk; 30 mins cardio at gym

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Sep 03, 2015 1:13 am

Knew it! Great to hear it was a minor blip and that you are back on track (as usual). I just love your tenacity and positivity- Keep it going girl!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:28 am

Thank you SO much nat! Your encouragement means a lot to me!

I was so hungry today between lunch and dinner. I know it's because I'm trying to keep my portion sizes down. It occurred to me that there's going to a bit of suffering when losing weight no matter how you slice it. But there's so much more suffering from overeating & from being uncomfortable in your own skin. So there ya go, just no way to avoid some amount of suffering in this lifetime I guess.

I'm finding it mostly painless though and the amount of difficulty that I do encounter is well worth it. I can remember just trying to buckle my shoes to be an effort. Now I can sit cross legged on the floor. I used to cringe at my own reflection. Now I'm pleasantly surprised by it. Even my shrinking shadow is a source of delight. And socially I feel so much more at ease. It's all well worth it.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: chickpea curry w barley, hummus w cucumber, sm
Red moment: lollipop
Dinner: balsamic pork slices, Brussel sprouts w prosciutto, potato salad

Exercise: 30 min walk

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:54 am

lpearlmom wrote:I was so hungry today between lunch and dinner. I know it's because I'm trying to keep my portion sizes down. It occurred to me that there's going to a bit of suffering when losing weight no matter how you slice it.

Hi Linda,
I'm with you! This has been a hungry week for me, too. I am trying to keep in mind that hunger is my friend- it is showing me that the fat cells are a little bit miffed by the shrinking program they are on, and they're getting a little bit grumpy. But I'm almost able to get into some of my just slightly smaller slacks again, so I agree with you there, too- it's worth it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:09 am

Thanks for the encouragement Sonya but I wonder if I'm pushing myself a little too much. I had another red day due to being overly hungry. Maybe my body is happy at this weight? Maybe I should get back to focusing on the habits, eating healthy and moderate exercise instead of being so hyper focused on my weight?

I don't know maybe I just need a little break from trying so hard to lose weight. Maybe I should just focus on maintaining for a few weeks or maybe I'll still lose very slowly by getting back to the basics of NoS? I guess something to think about over the weekend.

Break: poached egg, toast, coffee w creamer
Lunch: 1/2 veg sandwich, 1 serv low-carb chips, grapes, sm
Dinner: chipotle chicken salad
Red moment: handful of chips w guac

Exercise: 15 min treadmill; 15 min home routine

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 10:35 am

Great to see that weigh in was just a little blip Linda

I agree with you that S days shouldn't be "eat from morning to night". I thought your previous system of a planned / plated snack and a dessert on S days was good, or as you say, keep your S's for things you really crave or for social occasions like parties or birthdays. Whatever you decide I'm sure will be sensible.

You have recently included your new exercise habit, so maybe you're just spreading your will power a little thin? Or feeling more hungry because you're exercising? Anyway, nothing wrong with focus on maintaining where you are for a while. In fact, it might be good practice for maintenance when you get to goal.

Have a great weekend!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 04, 2015 5:03 pm

Thanks iron! I'm up 2 lbs this week so maybe more like a medium blip but yeah it's okay.

Oh yeah my S day plan has kind of gone by the wayside recently hence the 5 lb weight gain over the weekend. I think I'm just changing my mindset about them. Before it's been "it's an S day so it's my opportunity to eat up" now I'm realizing it should be more "S days are my chance to take advantage of special eating opportunities if/when they come up" like partaking in bday cake or having appetizers at a nice restaurant. I know this is how other ppl view their S days but I just haven't been there yet.

I'm not ready to give up my goal yet. I just have to acknowledge I'm struggling a bit right now and that's okay. I think maybe I was just getting a bit impatient and have been pushing myself to eat less too hard. Probably backfiring a bit. (I already had a much larger than normal breakfast this morning but it was one plate so it's okay).

Just need to re-group and acknowledge how far I've already come. If it takes another 7 months to lose the rest that needs to be okay because I'm on the right track so that's all that matters. I've decided to give myself a 35 lb reward (mani/pedi) as a way to celebrate what I've already accomplished. My 40 lb reward will be a new work-out outfit--yay!

Okay feeling much better--I got this!

PS iron not sure if exercising is effecting anything yet because my exercise has been ridiculously low-intensity for the most part but maybe. It'll be cooling off soon though and planning to get back to long bike rides w dh which will no doubt increase my hunger. Something to be on the lookout for!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Sep 05, 2015 1:01 am

OMG- I'm experiencing the same thing this week Linda. I have had 2 red days this week started by one wild S day last weekend.

Full moon again?

Either way, I just love how you are sort of able to observe and acknowledge your own behavior and emotions from afar... and use the information to find a new direction for yourself.

I try and do this as well, and have decided to give myself a break this week and be more diligent about not trying to cut too many calories each day, because let's face it- it ends up backfiring on me!

Anyway, I can't wait to read your post once you've reached your goal!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Sep 05, 2015 5:56 am

Oh so funny nat! Yep, I think we're both on the same page here. Definitely re-learning some important lessons. It's all about moderation and doing what's sustainable long-term. Can't rush this process it gosh darn it!

Well I ended up taking an S day because we took the girls to an event at the Art museum and then to this really cool Caribbean restaurant. We don't usually take them with us when we go to nice restaurants so definitely felt like a special occasion. It was so fun to get out of the comfort of our suburban life and experience the excitement of the downtown area. It's like a whole other world out there. Only 30 mins away but we don't do it enough.

Anyway was fun and I don't regret taking an S day at all. I think I will be kind to myself though and NOT weigh myself till next Friday. No point in stressing myself out again!

Break: chorizo breakfast burrito, 1/2 bran muffin, grapes, coffee
Lunch: 1/2 veg sandwich, handful pretzels, nectarine, sm
Dinner: plantains, jerk chicken w rice, 2 cocktails, 1/4 of dessert, coffee w cream

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 6:22 am

Nice, moderate S day. I think my new mindset is right on target.

Break: smoothie, coffee
Lunch: 1/2 chicken salad, grapes
Snack: large sugar-free chai
Dinner: 21/2 pieces veggie pizza; salad; 1/2 glass wine
Dessert: 1 1/2 cookies; lollipop

Exercise: 30 mins cardio at the gym

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:25 am

lpearlmom wrote:Nice, moderate S day. I think my new mindset is right on target.

Hi Linda- Good on you for thinking through different possiblilites and scenarios. It is all part of the process, isn't it?
I've changed gears so many times on NoS over these 5 years, and am so glad the basic structure allows for it. Best of luck.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:17 pm

Wrote you a private message, as it got into all the messy stuff on weight loss goals. If you don't want to hear devil's advocate stuff, and I can very much accept that, as I'm not willing to listen to many people tell me I should be counting and tracking and weighing myself, just delete it without even looking at it. I won't be offended. In fact, I would be relieved, as I'd rather be ignored than resented.

I'm also glad that you don't stress yourself out with a weigh-in, if that's what it will do.

Maybe it's sour grapes, but I think it's fine to be on cruise control right now. Who knows what mind set or life situation down the road will make the way easier? In the mean time, you are way ahead of the game. Thanks for still being here! We all need each other in this tribe.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:28 pm

P. S. The statement you made on 9/2 about suffering reminded me of a term a nurse named Laurel Mellin used in a book I read back in 1997. She said we have to determine if we are willing to â€œbear the essential painâ€ of dealing with not getting to eat all we ate before. Sometimes itâ€™s the pain of fake hunger; sometimes itâ€™s real hunger. As long as weâ€™re feeding ourselves decently, neither pain is damaging.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 10:54 pm

Thanks Sonya yes, it's a constant work in progress but I do like that the basic structure stays the same too!

Thank you oolala for responding here and in pm. I found it very helpful and not at all upsetting. I responded further privately.

I really like your image of "cruise control". I do think things might start to move downward a bit as it cools off and DH & I get back into hiking & bike riding or if nothing else just more fit.

Also I think I've read one Mellin's books "the solution" or something like that. I think it worked for me for a bit.

Thanks for being here too oolala! The support here is a huge reason I've come even this far!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Sep 06, 2015 11:26 pm

The Solution was the book I read. It's one of the few I've kept, even though I rarely look at it. But I like her distinction between light and luscious foods. Her recommendation that if we can't really determine what luscious food we really want and feel will work for us for the situation involved, that something light is a better default helped me work out guidelines for many of my meals and also to decide as time went on that only one meal a day would be what I might call a "full" meal. I have what I now think of as one small one, usually breakfast, and a medium one. Sometimes two medium ones and no full one. But that's only because I stay full longer. Alas. I would rather be hungrier and get to eat more!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:57 am

Yeah I kind of do that too oolala. My default is something light but if I'm really craving something specific I'll go for it.

Today was fine. We went out for dim sum and our friends were treating so I felt a little pressured to eat more than I normally would but I still did fine. Dinner was light but kind of snacky so not exactly satisfying.

Break: 1/2 piece toast, coffee
Lunch: Dim Sum (lots!), nf mocha
Dinner: yogurt, nuts, fruit, 1/2 piece pizza, bite of chicken

Exercise: 30 mins walking dogs

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 08, 2015 4:05 am

I took an NWS day today because we had some friends over for wood fire pizza. It was so good and is so fun to make as we buy tons of different stuff and let everyone get creative. Think crab and corn pizzas, banana & peanut butter, artichoke w pesto. Lots of fun, but I may have overdone it a tad.

I can only imagine what my weights at after Friday's Caribbean food, Sunday's dim sum and today's pizza feast. Oh well nothing to do but get back on track tomorrow.

Break: 2 1/2 breakfast cookies, coffee w cream
Lunch: fruit, 2 breakfast cookies, sm
Dinner: 4-5 small pieces of pizza, salad, 3 glasses wine
Dessert: 2 pieces choc chip banana bread

Skipped exercise today

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Tue Sep 08, 2015 5:47 am

Hi Linda- Wow, I wish I could stop by for some pizza, especially the artichoke w/pesto! Do you have a brick oven, or do you have some way to do that on a grill?
Sounds like you've had some fun social occasions lately, which have involved food. We're social creatures and part of that is eating together! I trust your normal "on track" eating will balance that all out.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 09, 2015 5:19 am

That we be so much fun to have another NoSer stop by! The pizzas are so dang good and actually since we don't load them down w cheese, fairly healthy too.

Dh uses the big green egg bbq: http://www.biggreenegg.com
It gets up to 700 degrees for the true wood fire pizza experience. It's pretty cool!

-33 lbs
I braved the scale today and am pretty happy to see my weights not up that much even after a few days of heavier than normal social eating. Yay! That means my body is adjusting to this new weight and that I don't have to give up the fun of having a social life. You're right Sonya about the social eating a part of how we stay connected. Considering how much I complain about my lack of a social life I should be grateful things are picking up. I am!

Part of me thinks I should relax my ultra focused attention to reaching my goal weight and just focus on good, healthy habits. But another part has trouble letting goal of that intense desire to achieve what I set out to do. I'm guessing in the end my body will decide. If it's just too much, it'll make its needs known and I may just have to accept a higher weight goal than I originally planned.

Break: 1 banana, coffee
Lunch: smoothie, 2 pieces beef jerky, handful nuts, banana, hmsm
Dinner: piece of skinny chicken Parmesan, artichoke, glass wine, hm iced tea latte

Exercise: 30 mins walk

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:09 am

Hi Linda- Yes, your body will probably cast the deciding vote. No harm in trying to give it a nudge to get to the weight you think would be healthiest for you, but yeah, bodies have a way of winning out.
If it meant eating as you are now, to maintain the weight goal you set would you be willing to do that?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:32 am

Hrmmmm.. That's a good question Sonya! I guess I've been kind of thinking that once I'm in maintenance mode I won't have to be quite so diligent but maybe not? I guess I'd prefer slightly larger portions sometimes. I really don't know. I'm just playing it by ear for now.

Break: ww toast w avocado & tomato, hmsm
Lunch: low-carb veg wrap, small bowl of yogurt, fruit, nuts, sm
Dinner: bowl of skinny enchilada soup (so good!), iced chai

Exercise: skipped it :/

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:43 am

Break: ww muffin; fruit; coffee
Lunch: veg burger wrap w avo; yogurt w fruit & nuts
Dinner: 1 serv eggplant rottalini; tomato mozzarella salad; glass wine

30 mins walk

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:44 am

-34.2 lbs up about 1/2 lb since last week but it is what it is.

I ended up taking an S event tonight. My daughter had a choir performance at the dbacks game tonight and was just easier.

Break: ww muffin, sm, banana
Lunch: chopped salad with salmon, sm
Dinner: 1/2 chicken burrito, chips & guac, peanuts, 2 beers, mocha

Exercise: 30 min walk

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Sep 12, 2015 2:50 pm

Okay started writing this on someone else's thread but it got embarrassingly long so putting it here:

I guess some of us put on weight easier than others. I thought that was me till I had my metabolism checked & it was found to be on the high side actually. I think more of it is that some of us turn to food for whatever reason more than others. I notice with my girls one is just more food oriented than the other. She'll turn to food when she's bored, she likes to think about food even when we're not eating, enjoys meal planning etc whereas my oldest daughter only thinks about food when she's hungry. Nothing wrong with either mindset but just different.

The food oriented daughter is heavier than her thin older sister but still a healthy weight and since she's never been shamed for her body or love of food has a very positive body image and hopefully won't go on the roller coaster of dieting-binging that I did starting from her age (10 yrs). She's also a lot calmer than her older sister which is also part of the body difference I think. My oldest is often fidgeting nervously or just too anxious to eat.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 13, 2015 3:41 am

Ugh.. Bad day. I feel sick not from eating too much although I did that too. My back hurts, I'm having trouble breathing, pmsing big time... Everything hurts.. On top of that I permasnacked all day. Not one decent meal. Dh is being a jerk.

Okay whining session over. I just want to go to sleep and get this day over with.

Linda

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Sun Sep 13, 2015 10:38 am

Hug x

Hope Sunday is saner!

I read what you wrote about the difference about your two daughters - interesting isn't it? I will gravitate towards food for any reason really - anxiety, sadness, happiness, boredom, stress, tiredness, indecision......... my friend loses her appetite when she's upset.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sun Sep 13, 2015 11:02 am

Ugh, what a day! hope tomorrow is much better.

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Sep 14, 2015 12:21 am

Sending you some hugs- we all have days like this. Here's to having a better day tomorrow.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:57 am

Thanks so much you guys!!

Today was much better. DH apologized & even cancelled his plans today to help me out since I wasn't feeling well & our youngest is sick too. Oh and he made us breakfast so I suppose he's forgiven.

I had some nice treats today but everything was contained so feel much better about that. I was so bummed last night when I realized I wasn't even hungry for dinner. So much of the pleasure of eating comes from satisfying that hungry. I realized that sticking to meals isn't just helpful for weight loss but for just ones overall satisfaction and well being. Duh, I knew this before but it kind of sunk in yesterday that I'm doing NoS for more than just that number on the scale.

Still I do want to reach that number on the scale but it's not the sole reason I'm doing NoS. Not by a long shot. Speaking of numbers on a scale. My friend that is doing the 30 mins for 100 days with me texted me tonight about adding a weight loss goal component. We post on fb every few days how we're doing w our exercise and now she wants us to add % of weight lost ea week. Normally, I'd think that was too much pressure but right now I'm kind of finding the idea motivating. We'll see!

Break: breakfast burrito, coffee w cream
Lunch: small bowl of chickpea salad & potatoes, huge iced skinny mocha (or at least they said it was sugar-free cuz didn't taste like it)
Snack: small piece of key lime pie
Dinner: 1 zucchini enchilada, chips & guac
Dessert: piece of key lime pie w whipped cream

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:49 am

Kind of a stressful day dealing with a sick kid and lots of house repairs. When it rains it pours kind of a day. The bad news is that it's going to cut into our cushion a bit. The good news is that thanks to our budgeting we have a cushion at all which means no extra debt at least. *deep breath*

Break: ww muffin, fruit, coffee
Lunch: toast w avocado & tomato, scoop of chickpea salad, Apple, sm
Dinner: steak salad, glass of wine

Exercise: 30 min walk

I'm using habitcal for the first time in many months. I really need to get back to very clear boundaries as I have a tendency to "taste" while cooking. I don't think I'll be able to get the rest of the weight off till I do this so I'm shooting for 21 days of perfection to get my firm habit back in line.

Today was red--darn it!

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:29 am

Linda, I am so guilty of tasting while cooking too. Haven't quite figured out a good "fix" for it either. Anyway, good luck on the 21 days-I'll be cheering you on!!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:53 am

I know it's so hard nat. I used to just truly taste for seasoning but it's a slippery slope isn't it??

Today was green though--yay!

Breakfast: 1.5 breakfast cookies, grapes, coffee
Lunch: cottage cheese, nuts, mini smoothie, beef jerky, breakfast "cookie"
Iced sm (only drank half)
Dinner: buffalo chicken salad

My lunch looks big but was just tiny portions of everything and all fit on one plate!

Exercise--1hr yoga class
(My back has been really bothering. I'm hoping the yoga will help!)

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:55 am

It's been an annoying week! Trying to get stuff done but other things getting in the way. Our rental property is driving me crazy. Cannot wait to sell that place! Oh well just life.

Break: smoothie, 1/2 break cookie
Lunch: veg burger, low-carb chips w dip, grapes, sm
Dinner: baked chicken, broccoli pie, salad, 1/2 glass wine

Exercise: walk 30 mins

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 18, 2015 5:17 am

Feeling a little under the weather. Not sure what's going on--fatigue, shortness of breath. Just weird. I guess I might have to break down and actually go to the doctors but hoping it's just a virus or something.

And of course both girls had tons of homework tonight that they needed help on. They don't like to ask their Dad cuz he'll want them to have a thorough understanding of what he's helping them with which is great but can make for some late nights.

Anyway, glad the weekend is upon us and very happy we don't have any major plans!

Green day (yesterday was too). Tomorrow is weigh day so we'll see if my strictness is helping.

Break: ww muffin, banana, hmsm
Lunch: open faced veg burger w bbq sauce, low-carb chips w dip, grapes, skinny chai
Dinner: chipotle chick salad w guacamole--no cheese, dressing or s cream

Exercise: too sick

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Fri Sep 18, 2015 6:05 am

Hi Linda,
Sorry you're not feeling well. Hopefully all will resolve over the weekend.
Hope you can get some good rest! (And that the scales is good to you tomorrow.)

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Sep 18, 2015 10:25 am

I hope you get your health sorted out. You're eating really well. How's the HabitCal going?

http://paulhollywood.com/recipes/teacakes/

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Sep 20, 2015 1:51 am

Hi Linda,

Just checking in. Hope you are feeling ok.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 20, 2015 2:16 am

Thanks Sonya, cookie & nat! Well it's developed into a full blown virus so been trying to rest for the last couple of days. I'm not very good at it though and took my kids to the farmers market today, went to grocery store, made dinner ( just heating up mostly) etc... I'm resting tonight & hopefully tomorrow. We're hosting a bbq here next weekend though so I really need to get better!

The good news is I was down 3.5 lbs on Friday--woot! The bad news is I had a red day Friday. I went back for 2nds & 3rds of soup Friday night and today I ate kind of a lot. I thought one was supposed to lose their appetite when they were sick, apparently not me! I know it's par for the course and will all sort itself out by next week. The point is I'm still losing weight and that's great news.

I really wanted to be -40 lbs by our friend's wedding in October but it's been cancelled. :/ yeah not good. My mom & great aunt are coming the 2nd week in October so I guess I'll try for that.

Breakfast: poached egg w toast , banana, tea
Lunch: small sorbet, iced mocha, couple pieces fudge
Snack: 1/2 bag beef jerky, breakfast "cookie"
Dinner: small bowl of beef broccoli w quinoa, small piece of truffle pizza

Weirdest eating day ever....

PS thanks for the recipe cookie--looks way yummy!!!

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:04 am

Linda,

Sorry to hear that the virus is in full bloom- bummer.

However, many congrats on your continuing weight loss- so excited for you! You are so close to the 40 lb. goal, and I hope you meet it! Go you!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:10 am

Thank you nat! Yeah this virus pretty much sucks. I can't believe I'm still not feeling well. Usually I'm just sick a day or too. A lot of odd symptoms too and I keep worrying something else is going on but dh doesn't seem to think so. My daughter was sick for over a week so I guess I just caught what she had.

I had a burst of energy today and went out shopping then came home and cleaned out my frig from top to bottom. I even went for a short walk but then I was exhausted and had to lay down. DH offered to take me out to dinner so I don't have to cook. Not sure if I should be out & about though.

Break: yogurt w fruit & nuts, sm
Lunch: muffin, glass of kefir
Dinner: 1/4 turkey burger; 1/4 bowl of tortilla soup; several French fries; 2 skinny margaritas

(My dinner triggered the worse heartburn ever; I guess it's time to go to the doctor.)

Exercise: 20 min walk; 10 min yoga

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Sep 22, 2015 4:40 pm

Sounsd like you could use some extra sleep! Hope you recover soon. You do more housework sick than I do well!

Saw your comment on your husband helping your daughters with homework. That's one of my problems as a high school teacher. They really don't want complete. They want fast and simple. And it's not just the kids. I'm really getting this year how mismatched things are for me. The contribution I want to make is not really the one that is needed, or I don't package it well. That's just the honest truth. I'm trying to change gears this last year. I hope I haven't waited too long. I just can't leave with my tail tucked between my legs without trying.

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Sep 23, 2015 12:52 am

Linda,

GET WELL SOON!!!

I am glad you are going to see the doctor for (hopefully) some relief and even just some piece of mind that nothing else is going on. I hope your dh and girls are taking care of you this time.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:05 pm

Hope you feel better soon Linda. Take it easy and remember that sick days start with S too - no need to worry about 30 minutes exercise when you're fighting a virus.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 24, 2015 5:47 pm

Thanks you guys!

Well landed myself in the ER yesterday and ended up having my gallbladder removed. Guess it was a little more than a virus! I'm glad it wasn't anything more serious. When Dh went to the ER for severe heartburn (that's what I thought I was having!), he ended up getting in two heart stints. That's where my mind was yesterday as I was driving myself to the ER in tears. They did an ekg and thank god everything else looks good so in many ways this has been a huge relief.

I also think my chronic back pain may have been partially deferred gallstone pain as its in the exact same spot opposite. We'll see. Could be a really good thing that happened here. Also, DH is having to step it up a bit and help out more with the girls and household stuff. I think it's good for all of them. He took them home last night after my surgery and had them make lunches and got them to bed on time. All good stuff!

Oolala, you would get along well with my husband. He is very into having a thorough understanding of everything and making those important mental connections. Did you ever used to watch that show connections? That was his favorite show. I really admire his vast amount of knowledge and deep understanding of so many subjects. He is always in teach mode with our kids. I guess I'm more of a bottom line kind of person. I also have to be practical. The girls need to eat, take showers, sometimes go to after school activities and still make it to bed on time. Sometimes they are given a lot of homework!

I am told that in class they ask a lot of good questions and contribute in meaningful ways to the discussion so I'm guessing that's where DHs parenting has paid of well. I'm guessing that's the kind of student you are wishing to teach? I'm sorry teaching hasn't been more rewarding for you. I love that you are working to leave on a good note. I believe you can do it! You tackled your eating issues which is no easy task. You got this!

Oh and as far as the cleaning goes, it's a sickness all of its own. When DH told me to come to the ER because I was having severe pain, I first cleaned the entire kitchen, made our bed, threw in a load of laundry and took a shower. Crazy I know but there's nothing worse than coming home to a messy house esp when you're sick!

Well here's yesterday's meager menu:
Break: oatmeal, fruit, tea
Lunch: miso soup, kefir, banana
Dinner: ice chips

My last few days were S days for sick days. I believe I can go back to NoS soon. I'm so happy it wasn't a GI issue. I just can't imagine having to give up so many foods!

I'll weigh myself tomorrow. I kind of freaked myself out because, although, I told the nurse I didn't want to know my weight, I thought I overheard her say 183 lbs. My estimation is closer to 173-175 so I was a little concerned til I read that hospital bed scales are highly inaccurate since their weighing bed linens, equipment etc. makes sense! I shouldn't care anyway. I'm dropping clothes sizes and feel pretty good about what I see in he mirror. A number shouldn't matter.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Sep 24, 2015 11:08 pm

Oh Linda, so glad everything else is ok, but still that's pretty serious. I'm glad you are recovering and they were able to do surgery so quickly. It would be wonderful if this improved your back pain too!

Don't let that number mess with you. Your scale has been so good for you - stick with it.

Don't stress about getting back to your routines right now, a solid recovery is the most important thing. Treat yourself the way you would treat one of your kids if they were sick. Also, practice asking the people who love you for help. Tell your family how a messy house stresses you, and give them simple ways to pitch in. They'll be relieved that they know how to make you feel better, I promise!

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 1:08 am

Omigosh!

I'm so sorry to hear about your visit to the ER! After reading through everything in your thread, you seem in good spirits even after having a body part removed- you get the bad a$@ (in a good way) award from me!

I hear you about the weight "declaration" from the nurses. I think they could care less about accuracy and just want to check off an item on a list. I was at the doctor this past April 2 times, each visit, one week apart- There was an 11lb difference in my weight- when the same nurse wrote down the number underneath the other one, she didn't even bat an eyelash. Go figure.

Anyway, I really just wanted to say I hope you feel better!!!

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:08 pm

Wow! Take it easy! You sound amazingly sprightly for someone who's just had their gall-bladder removed - that's pretty major, and being without a gall-bladder has implications diet-wise I would have thought........... be careful and prioritize your healing!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Sat Sep 26, 2015 12:40 pm

Hi Linda,
Sorry you had to go through that. Did they do the "keyhole" surgery? I understand that puts less stress on the body.
Seems like there is a connection between weight loss and gall stones... something about the liver adding cholesterol to the bile when we lose weight, and that forms stones. It's kind of complicated, but I've seen it happen to several friends when they've lost a good bit of weight. You do sound peppy, and I hope you keep feeling well going forward. I think your generally low fat diet will stand you in good stead!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 27, 2015 2:05 am

Thanks Sonya,cookie, nat & iron!

Well I'm no longer feeling very peppy. The last couple of days have even super tough. Pain, exhaustion and upset stomach. Blech, barely able to eat. On the positive side, I'm really amazed at how much my family has stepped up around here to take care of things. They've been really wonderful and makes me feel so good.

Sonya I did have it done laparoscopically. Actually DH is a laparoscopic general surgeon so this is the kind of thing he does on a routine basis. His partner did my surgery which was a little weird but not really. I'm told most people adjust fine to living without a gallbladder. Also DH said that my gallbladder wasn't exactly working well for some time now so I probably won't notice much difference.

Oh and yeah I guess I have all the markers for gallstones--woman over 40, past pregnancies, recent weight loss. There ya go!

Anyway thanks for well wishes. Obviously just trying heal for now. Will get back to NoS when I'm able.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 29, 2015 4:00 am

Okay hope I didn't sound like too much of a know-it-all on that last post. Just trying show my particular perspective.

Anyway, feeling a lot better today. *phew* Stiill pretty exhausted but was able to have a fairly normal day. Went grocery shopping (DH drove), did laundry and even made dinner.

This is definitely my last S-sick day though. I was a little over enthusiastic about being able to eat normally and went overboard with the food consumption. My weight was already up a pound today which was probably from the ivf but now I'm sure it'll be up even more. I'm guessing things will start to level back up by next week though. I'm not worried. Just glad to be through this (mostly).

We had to cancel our bbq we were suppose to host Saturday and have re-scheduled it for next sat. I hope I'm not taking on too much as it'll mean quite a bit of cooking. Then my mom & great aunt are coming next week. Really not up for that but oh well.

Breakfast: egg white & spinach wrap, sm
Lunch: bowl of leftover Chinese
Snack: a couple chips w spinach dip, grapes, 1/2 cookie
Dinner: 2 bowls veggie chili w s cream & cheese
Dessert: inside out carrot cookie (so good)

Ugh I'm stuffed like I haven't been in forever. Oh well just rebound from last few days.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:07 am

Feeling better & better each day. Still a little light-headed but definitely have a lot more energy--yay! I had an almost green day. Just a little picking around dinner time but nothing major. Feels good to be getting back on track. Will be nice to start exercising again. Hopefully next week.

I found out my mom & aunt are coming in two weeks, not next week. Definitely takes a lot of stress off me. Now I just gotta pull it together for our bbq this weekend & I'll have plenty of time to prepare for their visit. My aunt is one of those super fancy ppl you feel obligated to do things before they visit like polish the silverware. Little stressful but she's very nice so I'm sure it'll be fine.

I know this sounds a little crazy but I'm thinking about doing a 21 day cleanse starting November 1st. I don't know why. I think I'm hoping it'll help me get through those last 10 (or so) pounds and hopefully help me feel great? Also, think it's an interesting challenge. Can I really go that long without coffee? Hmmm....

Break: raisin bread w cream cheese, sm
Lunch: veg burger on sandwich thin, yogurt w nuts, grapes
Dinner: 1.5 mini turkey meatloaves, sautÃ©ed shrooms, spinach dip w low-carb dip