thanks!
Unfortunately, Monday was a fail. But today is a SUCCESS!!
I find that right after I finish my meal I really really REALLY want more! But if I wait about 5 - 10 minutes the feeling passes and I'm glad that I stuck to it and stopped eating.
I have to remember that and make myself wait out that initial anxiety. Afterward I feel so proud and satisfied and comfortable.
I am learning so much in just a week's time!
I keep thinking of what my mom told me a few days ago when I get down and want to give up. "Six months, a year, whatever will pass, whether you want it to or not. Do you want to be thinner or bigger?"
That is so true. I could give up and give in to what I "think" I want now, or look at the big picture and what I really want. I love this plan! For once, I feel like I have turned a corner. A big, scary, emotional corner!
The other night I cried in my boyfriend's arms about all my confusion and frustration with trying to lose weight. As usual he always knows what to say, and was very reassuring. But usually when I am like that, I give up on whatever diet I am trying. This time I knew I wasn't giving up, just having a rough time. I didn't really want to give up. I just wanted to vent about my frustration from some cravings and anxiety. He also said he would love to start walking with me regularly because he wants to be more fit too!
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
So now I have a walking buddy!
At first I was trying to have S days twice a week but not necessarily on Saturday and Sunday since I'm usually working those days. But it didn't seem to work well. So I'm doing Vanilla No S. Tomorrow I am going to Kings Island with my sister, and I am allowing myself a blue ice cream cone because we both love them. But the rest of the day is strictly an N day.
I am feeling so pumped about this! I really feel like I can do it this time! Something inside me has finally clicked. I am losing weight for me not someone else, I accept myself as is and I am living today not 50 pounds from now, and I want to improve my health not just my appearance. I think it took a long time to reach those conclusions, but now that I have everything seems to be falling into place.
Pumped to succeed again tomorrow! Like a friend/supervisor of mine always says at work, "BEST DAY EVER!" (Because each day is better than the last.)