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Bluebell's check in
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think (not that my opinion counts) realizing you don't have to give in to HALT is even more important than getting takeaway food to a minimum. It's a lot more uncomfortable and therefore has even more of a payoff.

You might consider having a separate kind of notation on a calendar (or a separate Habitcal) just for the times you either won or lost against HALT. BEing able to mark that success may be a motivator as well as NOT having to mark a failure might be. You might even start relishing the opportunity to say no, though I wouldn't recommend "bringing it" on purpose. Shocked

If I may say, it seems there is a fair amount of hanging further complications over your head as you go. This is a common habit to make us want to excel but it can also have our trainable psyche think it's never enough and get discouraged. Yes, down the line, we may have more things to work on but they will be a lot easier if we have a few hundred plates under our belts before trying to "improve our time" on our practice runs.
a few hundred plates before that. Smile
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2018 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala thank you for your wise words. Firstly I have to confess I have never heard of HALT before Embarassed I have googled and read that it means Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I never knew there was an acronym that sums up my feelings so succinctly! But yes, those are usually the reasons I want to eat mindlessly, I would like to add another H, hormonal. I have discussed my awful pre menstrual symptoms with my doctor and have been told it is all entirely normal as we get older, and not an awful lot that can help! (Yay) I am very much aware that it adds to the cocktail in my mind though.
Actually regarding habitcal, I have never done one properly, only the monthly challenges here and I haven't done that for a while either. So that is something to start, I think it will help.
As for your last comment, I have always been hard on myself. I have had some counselling some years ago for this and other issues, but not in relation to my eating. I tend to beat myself up when I fail, and this contributes to my mindset of just giving up/giving in. NoS has helped so much but as you have noted, it is complicated!

I wanted to write about yesterday evening too, we went for dinner at my mum and Dad’s. I have written before about my mum and food. Last night there was so much food for just 6 of us it was actually almost comical. Huge dishes of vegetables, meat, potatoes, just vast quantities, almost obscene. The amount leftover at the end could have fed another 6 at least, probably more. The desserts were enormous and too much choice. I feel relieved that I have at least broken away from this pattern. I am determined to bring my boys up with the ability to eat moderately. And enjoy treats occasionally. NoS unofficially for my kids I guess!!

Well that was a long post! We are out for lunch today, I am going to enjoy it without going over the top, that is the plan, after last night I think I will stick to it Very Happy
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2018 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you seen some of my posts? I binge on them all the time.

That was a great feat at your parents'. It sounded like you were not swayed by the volume of food nor by possibly your mother's entreaties to eat more. (or maybe just a little.)

I think not only are humans wired to like plenty, but Americans brought with them and still have an immigrant mentality. They often came because life was tough at home, and there was so much relief and pride at being able to set a full table. And of course the rich were expected to show off, though the wealthy are not impressed with eating a lot. They provide excess but they don't eat it.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On Sunday we had lunch out just the 4 of us, I chose bouillabaisse which was delicious, filling and probably quite a healthy ish option. Then I blew it by having a Krispy Kreme doughnut. Mmmm it was yummy.
Today has been a success, avoided temptation when I got home and waited for dinner somehow.
I had your words in my head today Oolala, when you say you’ve never regretted not eating something. Or something like that! Anyway the resonance of it has helped me even if I can’t recall your exact words, sorry!
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today - success
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's close enough, but honestly, I wouldn't have made much of having a Krispy Kreme doughnut at your stage of the game. I easily ate the equivalent of multiples of them on many S days. One is not even close to blowing it, in my book. Getting to the point at which I could say that I almost never regret NOT eating something on an S day took, well, probably up until the last couple of years.

But you don't have to repeat my timeline... Wink
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lots of Ss over the weekend. Today - success
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So. I went AWOL for a bit. Had something of a relapse, I was allowing myself to not NoS, to eat what I wanted when I wanted. Except... it wasn’t as big a relapse as I have had with other diets. I felt uncomfortable with eating large amounts of food. I would have a snack then wish I felt hungry for a meal. I was sort of watching myself doing what I used to do, whilst thinking ‘well this is a bit ridiculous, eating for the sake of eating without enjoyment’
I didn’t really set out to prove that NoS is better for me than anything else, but that is what happened.
So here I am, re committed, head back out of the sand, NoSing as if I never left.
Lucky for me my weight has remained stable too.
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 9:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today - success
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today - success
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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milliem



Joined: 20 Mar 2011
Posts: 1171

PostPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome back and congrats on the successes! It's funny how natural waiting for your next meal starts to become isn't it?
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks milliem
Today - success
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Relapses at this point in the history of substance abuse therapy are almost considered part of the process. It often reminds the person what had become so miserable about the habit, and they often recommit with even better results. (Not saying our eating is substance abuse, but both are habits along a continuum.)

I've said I would trade my weight loss for other things I haven't gotten in life but I would not be willing to go back to overeating so chronically to do it. So, Catch 22.

Welcome home!
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great to see you again, Bluebell!

My S days are similar to your recent "lapse", I think: I snack and eat loads of treats just because I can. Every time I do this, I'm reminded how insane it is - how I much prefer looking forward to the next meal and enjoying it, as on an N day. This message is hammered into my head every weekend...and eventually I think it will really sink in. For now though, I need the reminder!

Personally, I find Habitcal really useful. A bit like No S itself, I can't really explain why it works, but it has some sort of clever effect on my head. I'm not afraid of the red squares as such, but the idea of one gives me a sort of sinking feeling, like it was a missed opportunity to progress by a whole day.

All the best with your journey!
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Oolala and Octavia. Strangely, it almost feels as if I needed to go through that process. To be ‘absent’ from NoS in order to reinforce how much I need it in my life. I have commentd before about how I have always followed the destructive pattern of losing weight, feeling that I have done what’s needed, then reverting back to overeating. I have lost 28lbs and maintained for a few months and it feels like my mind wanted to revert back to the old pattern. You’re done with NoS, you’ve lost weight, back to how you were before you started.
Except, I am not the person who started out in October 2016. I have had my struggles but each time I have learnt a little more about how to eat with moderation. How to be ‘normal’ around food. And when I was binge eating, I knew it wasn’t how I wanted to be. It felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t enjoying food.
Oolala, in many ways it does feel like substance abuse. So many times pre NoS I have wondered what is wrong with me, why I cannot be normal around food. NoS has shown me that I can be normal around food. And I want to be that person. I can be that person.
Octavia, I keep saying I will start a habitcal, I know it will help me. I am going to do it right now - thank you for the gentle prompt.
Today - success.
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That you felt that you almost had to drop out to get how good No S was for you is what I was saying about the usefulness of relapse in drug treatment. Just like it often takes several tries to get serious and find an eating system that works, it usually takes "users"several tries, too. Getting more miserable in between often increases the determination!

I think you were actually being normal around food before. Overeating when there is access to food is the norm for humans. That's why it takes culture to rein things in, and why slim cultures are the exceptions now. Guyenet reported on a hunter gatherer society in which the members gorge themselves when they get access to a lot of food, eating pounds of meat and more than a QUART of honey at a time.

So don't be too hard on yourself! You're working on letting reason determine your habits.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala that’s not the first time part of your advice has been to not be too hard on myself - its time I started listening... really listening. Thank you again. I’ll get the message one of these days Smile
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I need to hear it, too, in other areas. Housework, run-ins with students and others- we'll just stop there... I'll try to listen to my own advice!
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 559
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Success all week. Today is a rare snow day, we don’t get snow very often at all in my part of the UK and everything grinds to a halt when we get a centimetre or two! So I am trying to stick to NoS today even though it feels like a mini unexpected holiday, and reminding myself that I can have fun without overeating. More fun in fact as I won’t feel uncomfortable.
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 945

PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bluebell wrote:
reminding myself that I can have fun without overeating. More fun in fact as I won’t feel uncomfortable.


That's a great reminder for us all, actually. Congratulations on your successful week! All the more impressive when you realise that so many of us abandon all structure when something unexpected happens.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2455

PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So you and Octavia must live in the same part of UK? Same snow?
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nearly the same snow! I’m in Surrey, another bit of south east England.
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Skelton



Joined: 06 Aug 2012
Posts: 127

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope all is well with you Bluebell.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 9221
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Same thought here.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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