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Octavia is finally checking in!
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 258
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Habitcal is great, I used it in the beginning but had a few special days and holiday would definitely have been yellow.

I never think of calories anymore, what a relief that is.

Apart from the rules I don't limit any food group, eat whatever I want cooked as I want.

However I do eat good food, organic, homemade where possible from raw ingredients and a good balance of fats carbs and protein.

After reading the diet myth - not a diet book. I am introducing more veg protein and also toying with missing the odd meal to reap some of the benefits of fasting. Smile

It's your journey do it your way


Last edited by Soprano on Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:15 am; edited 1 time in total
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 9:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

...must check out that book, Soprano. More veg protein would be good for me, too.

Had a hilarious, classic fail last night! Had been working late, then had big commute, home at about 11.30...found a cream donut in the fridge...couldn’t resist, was so hungry....then crisps! Should have had a bigger dinner, but it was tricky in th circumstances.

I actually feel quite reassured by this fail, as I was worried I’d become too rigid and afraid of failure.

Anyway, today has a similar pattern, late night etc, so I’ll be more prepared.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2018 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel a lot better about No S since my holiday and Wednesday’s fail. I’m being less rigid, and I feel a bit more ‘myself’. But lessening the strictness comes at a price: already I feel less strong...more tempted by goodies. Previously I was more of an automaton, and felt no urges on N days. I’d rather be like I am now, though - making choices, even though they feel difficult. DH and DD had puddings tonight, and I definitely felt urges but chose to hang on till tomorrow. It felt a bit like choosing to have a rotten evening, but what got me through was the idea that I couldn’t afford another fail day.

It’s as if I’m rediscovering Vanilla No S...one where I’m less rigid on N days and less mad on S days. Engaging my intelligence rather than my sense of ‘compliance’. I’ve decided to carry on with Habitcal, because I feel quite vulnerable during this change.

Compliance - ‘fencing around the law’ - was incredibly important for the first months, though, in order to break down my very fixed ‘feed on demand’ habit. So I’m glad I went through that rigid phase. It just started to feel weird.

Meals today, just for the record:
B - two pains au chocolat. Bad breakfast but still, a plate of food.
L - four ryvita crispbreads, two with cheese, two with tuna; two tomatoes.
D - small piece garlic bread, pasta with tomato sauce and rocket, an apple.
(Can’t remember when i last cooked a good, square meal - I’ve too much work on at the moment.)

Also had two boiled sweets during a tedious car journey this afternoon, and a small hot chocolate before bed. I reckon this was a pretty moderate day. Not the sort that leads to quick weight loss, but I’m focussing on tweaking my habits more than slimming. Wasn’t able to do my banana morning snack as we’d run out of bananas....and couldn’t do the apple afternoon snack as we were in the car...!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still feeling good, and doing this Mod which I call Fibre Supplement. I have an apple and a banana every day, which can be eaten either as snacks or dessert. They are foods which would always fit into my mealtime plates, so I’m looking at them as just a virtual plating decision - postponing part of the plate till later - rather than extra food. This is a bit like the approach of Debra Waterhouse (Taming the Female Fat Cell) who advised to divide meals into two smaller ones. Of course, in my addicted, pre-No S days, this was to me just an excuse to eat loads of extra food. So her book just encouraged my overeating. But things have changed for me since No S, and I’m no longer reviling the poor woman.

I still remember Reinhard’s warning about fruit snacks - ‘nothing is in itself’ - ie. that it can quickly lead to worse snacking, to losing control. But I think I’m doing it mindfully enough not to lose control or delude myself.

Weight has been the same for many weeks. I’m still a UK size 14, but a smaller one. But in difficult moments recently I’ve reminded myself of my non-weight loss motivation, thinking what would happen if I indulged in snacks or sweets on N days...the sheer pointlessness of it, how it would only lead to more craving, more desire. To not wanting my dinner, to feeling the despair of being on that hamster wheel again. The idea of ‘futility’ certainly helps me!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2463

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 2:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Octavia! I love increasing my SOLUBLE fiber and see really good effects in my weight, my energy (!?) and a decrease in hunger. I actually take a soluble fiber supplement. I started it a few years ago when I got C. Diff, an abx-associated infection, but I continue to take it because I feel the difference when I do.
My favorite brand is Heather's Tummy Fiber.
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eschano



Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Posts: 2550

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for stopping by my thread and your encouragement. I think if you stick to apples and bananas instead of new combinations of food it could easily become a habit.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2018 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tess and Auto! I meant to check in ages ago and say thanks for your supportive comments. I’ve checked out Heather’s Tummy Fibre, Auto, and I might try some. Folks on her forum say it’s expensive but worth it. Tess, I’ve done well sticking to apples and bananas for my ‘supplements’ and haven’t been tempted to stray onto bad snacks. This has made me feel reassured - like, my habits really have changed, and I’m not in danger of relapsing into ‘feed on demand’, my old eating style! I do feel quite well this week.

Weight has dipped a tiny bit (like, not quite a pound) since I did my Fibre Supplement mod. I think it’s helping me to eat a bit less. I’ve also been on long walks every day. I know that soon, life will get in the way and I won’t be able to keep these walks up, but right now, I’m in a good routine.

Happy S days, everyone!
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 945

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Octavia! Thank you for your kind words in my thread, you really made my weekend. How has your been? Satisfying, I hope!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Imogen! Sorry I didn’t get back to you - great to hear from you, and hope you’re well. Will pop by your thread later to say hi. Haven’t checked in for a while - have been busy, but just trogging along with No S. Mostly doing OK, but a summer cold has descended and I had my first Big Fail day for a while yesterday. Went shopping after a healthy, cold-friendly lunch of chicken soup, and found I was absolutely starving as I usually am after any kind of soup lunch. (this is annoying, as I like soup, and it’s a good way of getting lots of veg in one go). I bought a huge bar of white chocolate with nuts, went back to bed and scoffed most of it. Yes, it took my mind off the sore throat and headache...

Weight-wise, no real loss, but no gain either, which is good news for me. I am still 9lb lighter than my first weigh-in back in January. I feel a lot better about myself. But yesterday’s blip has worried me a little, as it was just the sort of behaviour that I used to carry out on a regular basis. I don’t want to slip back. Normally, knowing it’s an N day is enough to keep me off the chocolate, but yesterday that didn’t stop me. I’m no longer doing Habitcal, and perhaps I am understanding that concept of the training wheels coming off. I really am pedalling my own bike now, doing No S my way, with a sense of personal choice, not ‘compliance’. I suppose a bit of wobbling is inevitable.

I feel better for having checked in on the forum, though! I’m not ready to leave it behind, and regardless of my eating habits, I really value the friendships I’ve made here.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 258
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia wrote:
Hi Imogen! Sorry I didn’t get back to you - great to hear from you, and hope you’re well. Will pop by your thread later to say hi. Haven’t checked in for a while - have been busy, but just trogging along with No S. Mostly doing OK, but a summer cold has descended and I had my first Big Fail day for a while yesterday. Went shopping after a healthy, cold-friendly lunch of chicken soup, and found I was absolutely starving as I usually am after any kind of soup lunch. (this is annoying, as I like soup, and it’s a good way of getting lots of veg in one go). I bought a huge bar of white chocolate with nuts, went back to bed and scoffed most of it. Yes, it took my mind off the sore throat and headache...

Weight-wise, no real loss, but no gain either, which is good news for me. I am still 9lb lighter than my first weigh-in back in January. I feel a lot better about myself. But yesterday’s blip has worried me a little, as it was just the sort of behaviour that I used to carry out on a regular basis. I don’t want to slip back. Normally, knowing it’s an N day is enough to keep me off the chocolate, but yesterday that didn’t stop me. I’m no longer doing Habitcal, and perhaps I am understanding that concept of the training wheels coming off. I really am pedalling my own bike now, doing No S my way, with a sense of personal choice, not ‘compliance’. I suppose a bit of wobbling is inevitable.

I feel better for having checked in on the forum, though! I’m not ready to leave it behind, and regardless of my eating habits, I really value the friendships I’ve made here.


Sorry to hear you are unwell. I suspect the chocolate craving had a lot to do with your cold.

Be kind to yourself, you'll get back on plan Smile
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ladybird30



Joined: 07 May 2017
Posts: 331

PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

S for sick day?
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you’re still around! I find this forum so incredibly helpful. Don’t even worry about the slip up. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the journey. I’d personally just call it a sick day and move on. Maybe since you know soup doesn’t fill you up enough try having a half a sandwich or something with it from now on?

You’re doing great—you got this!

Linda
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much for your sympathy and support, Linda, Soprano and Ladybird! I think it was definitely a sick day, when I had all that chocolate. I was still a bit off track on Friday , but not so bad, and now it’s the weekend I feel I’m just having more sick days rather than excessive treat days. I’m actually in bed as I write this, even though it’s a lovely afternoon. We’re going out to eat tonight- naturally I don’t want to go (coughing, hacking, sneezing and feeling generally dopey), but FIL has come down specially to treat us. I want to make sure I am properly hungry, then I have a much better chance of enjoying the evening. (Still haunted by the ghastly memory of overeating at that same restaurant, then passing out on the bathroom floor after my bath...) Embarassed

I can’t wait for this cold to pass, then I can get interested again in matters of fitness and weight control. I feel could achieve more - improve my habits a bit more. I’ve not been very engaged with all this stuff for a while. Life and work just take over. I have continued doing Vanilla where possible, though.

Soup - yes, it must go with something more filling, not just a small piece of bread, which is what I usually do. I should use it as a ‘supplement’ with a sandwich, as you suggested Linda. Soup must not be used as a ‘diet-friendly, low cal meal replacement’ (I think I am guilty of this).

Brewing more hot lemon now. Determined to keep off the peanuts and biscuits which are lingering in the kitchen.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, I hope you feel better soon! And I'm sorry you'll be heading out to dinner tonight, but I do hope that you have a nice time, despite your cold.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2018 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Auto! We did have a nice time, though I hit a wall of tiredness after a couple of hours.

Once home from the meal, I kept away from the bath 😂! Yes, I was totally stuffed again, even though I gave half my starter away and could only manage a few spoons full of my dessert. Somehow I can’t seem to cope with big restaurant meals! Maybe the food is just too rich and dense. Anyway I wobbled home feeling like I was about to give birth to a space hopper, and spent a while playing the piano, waiting for it all to go down. Then came the terrible thirst, so I have now re-inflated with water. Still coughing as well.

I feel like I’ve had too many days of ‘enforced’ overeating....not that anyone is forcing it down my throat...but I mean, feeling unwell with this cold, going on our summer holiday, FIL taking us to dinner, stuff like that. I just want to do my normal routine! I’ve just checked in with the Six miles to supper blog...(mentioned by Linda I think)...thinking that it might get me back to weight loss if I skip breakfast. But maybe I need to get back to a steady vanilla routine for a few weeks before I dabble in such things. I’m definitely interested, though...although I wonder if the Six Miles lady is responding to a slightly different sort of overeating problem to mine. I get the impression that she had trouble controlling her portions, so now she enjoys having a single meal that can be as big as she likes. I can’t eat much in one go: my weaknesses are snacking and sweets. Maybe vanilla is best, for now.

Anyway, I’m really glad I’ve started checking in again and catching up with people, because I already feel more focussed and a bit more like it’s time to concentrate on me and my health. Remembering my true motivation: to conquer my insane, cyclic, treat-food habits so I can eat what the sensible part of my brain thinks I should eat, instead of being ‘forced’ to eat unhealthily. That’s not very concise. I mean, to not have my health and weight determined by out-of-control habits.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3764
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 4:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Octavia! Sorry the meal still wasn’t so enjoyable. If I don’t eat all day, I seem to be able to enjoy those kind of meals. Kayla (6 mile girl) does pretty advanced version of IF. You could try some more tame like 16/8 and see if you enjoy it but it’s not for everyone!

I hope you feel better and can get to a normal routine soon.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2463

PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2018 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia and Linda -- I just went over and read a bit of the 6 miles to dinner blog. What an inspiring blog! And definitely fits easily with NoS. I should chime in that my BEST results with my weight was when I walked 90 minutes most days -- it is sustainable and nothing ever hurts. Interesting that she manages to walk so much even with 3 little kids!!!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

...it is interesting how Kayla does all that walking with 3 kids!!!Where do they go while she walks? If she’s walking in the house, surely they will be interrupting and doing their best to stop her! My DD would never let me do anything that didn’t involve her being the prime focus! But Kayla is obviously very committed and nothing gets in her way. Its making me wonder if I’ve been too ready to give up my plans and fit in with others. Walking is fantastic, because you can do it even if you’re tired and grumpy. I love that Kayla says she goes quite slowly, because she wants to enjoy it, not get puffed out.

I managed a good Vanilla day again today. I feel quite vulnerable, as if it could all unravel: I’m afraid I’ve put on weight over the summer, and it’s making me want to get it off quickly, but that won’t work. I have to just return to Vanilla, and get the habits going again. Maybe start Habitcal again. Not sure.
Breakfast: 2 pieces of toast, 2 scrambled eggs.
Lunch: (slightly weird) 2 welsh cakes, a piece of cheese, an apple.
Dinner: haddock, 3 medium new potatoes, carrots, mangetout and peas, with a little butter. A few grapes.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’m thinkimg one of her kids must be old enough to watch the others because right now sounds like she goes really early in the morning with just her hubby. They’re RVing now so I guess that’s the easiest way. Before she’d spread it throughout the day and get the rest of her steps in before bed by walking around her house if needed. Pretty dedicated but it’s doable I think.
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"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15- 202 lbs;
1/16- 172 lbs;
9/17-177 lbs;
1/18-162 lbs;
9/18-154 lbs;









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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

....spreading it throughout the day is a good idea, though you’d have to stay ‘mindful’ and not become completely distracted by other things. I did this once with Callanetics! Laughing that routine is quite boring if you do it all in one solid hour. It’s effective though.

I feel conflicted about Reinhard’s 14’ idea. I totally get that sustainability is key, and that you can always find 14’....and that high motivation doesn’t mean that free time to exercise magically opens up. But....as Auto mentioned, getting those big long walks in really can help to spark off weight loss. So...do we commit ourselves to long sessions, like Kayla, or stick to short ones like the canny Reinhard? Sadly I waver between the two points of view and go through long phases of not even getting started! I’m definitely at this point right now (though still waiting for this bad cold to subside). The daft thing is, Reinhard’s logic is putting me off going running, because even my short running routine would take up at least 50 minutes when you factor in driving to the park. So is that non-habit friendly, and therefore to be avoided?

Was relieved this morning that I’m back at my low weight, pre-sick days and the massive intake of chocolate. Perhaps I’ve been more compliant over the summer than I’ve feared. Having stopped Habitcal, I can’t see clearly how I’ve done. But I now prefer working without the training wheels of Habitcal.

I was happy to see that Oolala has checked in with us! And I think I understand what she’s saying - about not wanting happiness to depend upon compliance. It’s like there’s neurotic compliance, based on fear, and ‘self determined’ compliance, based on personal choice. And yet, when habits start to compel us to avoid snacks - meaning that our brains have become rewired- that can start to feel neurotic! This has been an issue with me. Wanting to form new habits, then finding that I don’t like being ruled by habits, full stop!

Ah well. I really must get out of bed.... Embarassed
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TexArk



Joined: 27 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will give my 2 cents of advice or experience concerning exercise. Very few women can find one way to get the movement in we need to do that works for us and make it a lifetime habit. There are too many variables. As some have mentioned: what to do about children home alone, what to do about illness or injury, what to do about a changing work schedule, what to do about weather etc. The 14 minutes of weight lifting at home has not worked for me, but I am not a natural exerciser. My default is a comfy chair and a book! But as an older woman (71) I have had to monitor and adjust over the years. I do know that I can't make overly ambitious plans but I can't wait until the spirit moves me either. The exercise does help my mental health, and I need to do it for bone density, and I think weight loss and maintenance is improved just because my resting metabolism revs up. However, I cannot outrun my fork. So in my retirement years, for now, I walk a large dog in the mornings about a mile and a half. Then I walk with a friend later for about a mile. And in the evening I go to a gym close to my house to do about 20 minutes of weight lifting. When I still had a child at home, I walked with a friend at 6 in the morning. I never was able to do the after work, take my clothes, change, and workout...even though there was a gym right in the building where I worked. So... I assume we all know this. But just to say, what works for one may not work for another and what works for you now may not work for you later.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 402
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing your experience, TexArk! There are so many variables which make it hard to stick to a routine, and looking back over my life, I can see how I would never have been able to manage a single type of exercise throughout. As a child, I swam and roller skated. As a teen, a bit of dancing. 20s, aerobics...30s, Callanetics....40s, little mini work outs, 50s, running and walking. But all of it, very sporadic. Perhaps I can say that I have at least developed the habit of starting again after giving up! Another issue is that for me, the sense of accomplishment and the ‘buzz’ goes away after a while: the extra energy becomes less noticeable, like an adaptation I suppose. Then I lose motivation. But generally, I think it’s busyness and preoccupation with other life stuff that gets in my way.

I’ve had a decent green day. Still feeling unwell 🤧 with cold but managed a mild walk this evening!
Breakfast: 3 ryvitas with butter and various toppings - jam, marmite, etc. Not all together.... Laughing
Lunch: fried egg on toast, apple.
‘Fibre Supplement’ snack: another apple (intended to have a banana but they weren’t yet ripe.)
Dinner: pasta with tomato sauce and pecorino cheese.
Glass of milk.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2018 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow - great conversation about exercise and everybody's thoughts.

I think if there's any way to have it built into the rhythm of the day, or part of something that HAS to get done (e.g. walking a dog, walking/biking to work) - that's my personal only chance of success. Argh, I feel like a DownerDebbie today.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You’re not being a downer at all, Auto! It makes sense to make exercise part of another task.

Hurrah, after several months, the scale has shifted down. I’ve had a good, compliant week after a slightly chaotic (though still on-plan) summer. I wonder if I can consolidate this? I’m in a phase of caring about weight loss. It comes and goes; sometimes I don’t care. As I’ve said many times, this is for me perhaps the major plus of No S, that you can still do it when you’re in one of those not-caring phases.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve deluded myself all my life, believing that I didn’t NEED to lose weight, but just that it would be a nice little boost to my vanity. It’s possible that my slightly heavy weight has condemned me to a frumpiness that I’ve had to fight hard with clothes and styling. I have a big bosom, tummy and inner thighs. (Sorry, tmi.) I can look saucy and sassy in a cocktail dress. But in everyday life, I tend to be mostly invisible, and getting older makes it worse (though my ingenuity with clothing is far better than when I was young). I still can’t throw on jeans and a T shirt (my idea of bliss). Particularly a white T shirt. That would be so nice. I can just about wear a mid-toned, V neck T shirt over a long vest which covers my bum at the front. The vest smoothes out bulges, elongates my short body and covers the unsightly bits. But it’s a hassle and although I don’t look bad, I only achieve invisibility.

Of course, there have been benefits to my ‘delusion’ - I’ve never shed tears about being un-slim, and I’ve never been an obsessive dieter. I’m just perhaps thinking, maybe I should seriously try to get to proper slimness. It might surprise me with its benefits. At present I’m sort of doing No S to see what happens rather than aim for a weight loss goal.

Anyway...these are just my thoughts this morning. I’m probably feeling particularly invisible and frumpy right now as I’m still not well, just shaking off this cold, and it’s starting to get me down a bit. At least I can just rest today. Tbh I am also nervous as have arranged a family party next weekend and had annoying conversation with family member a couple of days ago which has put me in a very bad mood. This particular person means well but always manages to imply that I haven’t thought something through as if I am an artistic twit with my head in the clouds. Where in fact I am a worrier who tries to think of everything. Anyway, in these situations I always end up depressed and grieving the happy, simple relationships we all seemed to enjoy in childhood.

Arghhh! It’s me being a Debbie Downer today. I need to do some proper journaling and find solutions to these feelings, not just wallow or uselessly try to keep them at bay.

I should celebrate my little weight loss!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia wrote:

I can look saucy and sassy in a cocktail dress.


Lol, this is like Bridget Jones!! Laughing

And the feeling frumpy -- grr -- that seems to be a cyclical thing we women go through. And getting over being sick I'm sure intensifies it, as you mentioned. I hate that feeling, and I can't seem to control it. It comes and goes based on its own whims.

To the wishing we could enjoy relationships like we did in childhood. Oh, man! So true! People often discuss what Jesus meant when he said become like a little child. And then they talk about how children are different. But I think you just nailed another way children are different!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry you’re feeling down Octavia. And ugh family members really have a way of pushing our buttons, I know. I guess you can either ignore them and annoy them with your carefreeness or throw the best damn party ever and shut them up. Either way you win.

I missed the exercise discussion but what’s worked for me recently is signing up for this mud run with some friends. I’m suddenly very motivated because I don’t want to look foolish on race day. I guess that’s a weird thing to be motivated by but actually after a couple of weeks I started really enjoying the workouts and I even look forward to them. Being in shape (or working towards it) feels really good and I can tell you it helps with body image so much.

I don’t know if they have anything like that where you live but having some kind of end goal can really help. At some point I want to do the three day breast cancer walk with my daughter. That’d be another great goal. My race even has a 3 month exercise plan that I’ve been following so I don’t have to think too much. I just follow the plan and race day is always in the back of my mind.

As far as whether you should have weight loss as a goal, I’m not sure. When I was 210 lbs I convinced myself that I didn’t care and that everything was fine. Of course, it wasn’t fine. I was having horrible back pain, I refused to let my picture be taken, booths at restaurants were tight and I wouldn’t visit old friends. So yeah I was in full blown denial. I do feel so much better now that I’ve lost a lot of weight but it didn’t magically make everything better. And I still want to lose at least another 20 lbs. I also worry that I’ll never get to a place where I can say “okay I’m done”. I’ll always want to lose more because that’s my nature.

Sooo not sure what my point is but if it’s not interfering with your everyday life like it was mine, maybe just focus on maintaining your habits and getting in shape in a way that’s sustainable and enjoyable.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. Enjoy your weekend!

Linda
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Again to put conversations on poor Octavia's thread -- but Linda -- your weight loss journey is simply amazing!!!! 210 down to 150's. That is just wow wow wow. But also how interesting and revealing that even when we lose weight, we are still....ourselves. We still battle our same old battles and must still strive to accept ourselves, warts and all.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ladies, you are welcome to have conversations on my thread! It’s like hosting a party. 😃

So, my upcoming party. 😩 I’ve been thinking a lot about my recent upset (with the relative phone call), and have achieved a slightly more objective viewpoint I think. Like, seeing clearly that people are way out of order, saying the stuff they say, and that it’s bound to be upsetting. And while there’s no simple solution, naming the behaviour rather than ruminating over it is a start. I get anxious wondering if and how the barbs will come and whether I’ll cope with my internal reaction (usually rage followed by a horrible feeling of being unable to cope). It’s best to accept that barbs will probably come, and a strong internal reaction is inevitable and justified.

When I go on mumsnet, I read about behaviour which is far worse than what I have to put up with, but then, isn’t it the case that most insults or criticisms are hidden behind the fluff of humour, jollity or well meaning, helpful suggestions? I could deal with direct offences. Hidden stuff is more tricky.

I’ve decided that feeling proud of myself is the best defence. Be my own best friend at all times.

Bridget Jones!!! So funny Auto. Actually I would probably look quite good in Bridget’s bunny girl costume. Honestly, she is ME!

Linda, that’s inspiring about fitness goals. Perhaps I should make a fresh goal this season. I did enjoy doing Couch to 5k 2 years ago, but when i tried to push it further (simply running a bit faster), I started struggling and failing. But I learned a lot from that! It was a valuable experience. I need to make a more realistic, tangible goal. I can do this!!!! It’s great that you are planning the breast cancer walk! Setting an amazing example to your daughter.

Bring in denial about our weight is the other side of that tricky coin, caring too much about our weight. Again (like I was saying with my family interactions), a sort of objectivity is needed...when you see it and name it, but don’t have an emotional reaction to it. It is amazing to hear of your weight loss success, Linda. Hey, thanks for your advice on either being impressively laid back, or throwing an incredible party to shut them up. I will keep coming back to that sentence!

Must go and get on with some work. bye For now!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 1:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to add (and then I really will do some work) - Auto, you’re right about the cyclical aspect of the frumpy feeling. It is something that comes and goes, and it’s really hard to put a finger on what causes it. It can be something as simple as wearing the wrong shoes or maybe even mooching round the house too much. Or perhaps subconscious influences, like exposure to adverts of professionally-styled non-frumps. I keep vowing to stop buying magazines, but then I see some headline and think I might pick up some good outfit ideas from it and feel less frumpy....but the outfit ideas are always ones that wouldn’t work for my shape and lifestyle. Yes, I think I will renew my vow to stop buying magazines.

One thing I love to do which really is helpful, is people-watching - seeing what women in the street, out and about, are wearing. Women of my sort of age and size. This is far better than looking at magazines - it just takes more time!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A fairly average green day....though not the sort that will lose me any weight....had one egg on toast for breakfast, a couple of ryvitas plus a leftover sausage roll with tomatoes and an apple for lunch, then for dinner we went out for pizza. I had one of the ‘light’ ones, and didn’t eat it all, plus a few bits of ‘antipasto’, like olives etc. It was basically a plate, but a rather calorific one. No snacks, sweets or calorific drinks though! Hurrah.

I haven’t done any exercise. Woke up very late after drugging myself with cough mixture last night, and then had to stay in for the delivery of two dining chairs for the party next weekend. Arghhhh - they came with all the screws etc. missing!! DH is going to ring them tomorrow. Stuck at computer for the rest of the day, plus cleaning oven which was more laborious than I thought it would be. Did some washing. Changed bedding. Exciting, huh? Was reading on Quora this thing about why most of us hate to exercise. This guy had shared his theory which I didn’t quite understand, but he rounded off by saying that ‘if the President can find time to exercise, so can you!’ I found myself wondering if the President has to return from his run to cook breakfast, wash up and get his kids dressed for School Vegetable Day before he goes to his office. My own theory (regarding my own exercise failures!) is that it’s not so much being pressed for time as suffering from ‘Attention Splatter’. Also, that old diet-head feeling - ‘are you really trying this stuff again? Do you really think it will work this time?’ Negative thinking, I guess.

Anyway, I’m happy to say that I feel better tonight, regarding this cold virus. I feel more normal in myself and I’m coughing less. So as long as I can keep in control of Attention Splatter, I should be able to get some regular exercise going. (I got the term Attention Splatter from Christine Kane, a career coach blogger. She’s very good.)
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I managed to achieve visibility today. Went for a haircut and the lady was incredibly nice to me, complimenting me on my makeup, hair colour, complexion etc.., which boosted my morale. Then somehow I felt less frumpy as I walked down the street. I did try a new thing, wearing a denim skirt with ankle boots and NO TIGHTS plus one of those unlined, slightly egg-shaped coats. I didn’t feel super-fabulous, but somehow I had raised myself from true frumpiness. Perhaps I usually try too hard to wear what suits my figure...ie.what will prevent me looking fat. Maybe this is why I feel frumpy at times?

Preparations for this weekend’s party continue, and I cleaned out the fridge today. Gross. Why does DH buy so many stinking cheeses, then eat 3/4 of the pack and leave the last bit to fester? I found two forgotten bits of Camembert and loads of rock hard Parmesan!

Having a little rest now, to try to decide what to do next. Busy later this aft and this evening, so time is running out. Feeling a bit virus-y again today..like there’s a nasty taste or feeling in my throat, almost as if I’m going down with a new one! Oh dear.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh no! Don't get sick again dear body! Sometimes I give my immune system a pep talk -- c'mon neutrophils, you can do this! Kick out those viruses at the door!

Lots going on with you, but glad to hear you felt less frumpy. And a hair-do! Yes! Good thinking.

My husband doesn't buy the stinky cheeses (actually, I'm more guilty party for that offense), but he buys these Costco-sized lunch meats that he thinks are a great deal. And they would be, if any of us ever ate it. Rolling Eyes And so they become a total moss garden in the back of the fridge after several months.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh boy you are getting a lot done! I think that’s one of the best things about having a party or having guests stay. I’m suddenly motivated to do stuff I’ve bedn putting off for weeks. And I hate cleaning out the frig but it’s most rewarding when it’s done. I’ve been known to open my frig and admire it several times afterwards.

Going to the hair salon always lifts my spirits too. Your outfit sounds adorable. I do like to wear what I feel good and sexy in even if it’s not supposed to be ideal for my body type. Today I saw a sign that said “I don’t need to step in the scale to tell how sexy I am”. I know it was trying to be funny but you know what? There’s some serious truth there. There just some non-tangible attractive quality to ppl that you can’t weigh or measure.

Anyway, hope you don’t get sick and that everything goes smoothly or even if it doesn’t, that you have some fun! (When is the party again?)
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The party is on Saturday, Linda. I’m doing a party-related task each day, and I think tomorrow I’ll be doing some food shopping and planning. My fridge is so white and clean, it’s weird! Terrible how I put up with the awful crud for so long! Solidified remnants of barbecue sauce and other loathsome things. I totally relate to the ‘moss garden’ in the back of Auto’s fridge. Laughing but right now mine looks quite organised....feeling smug, but it won’t last.

Tonight, I went out with some friends for a drink, and felt better than I have in days. Good conversation and laughter. Had nearly three glasses of wine. Is it possible that alcohol, as long as you don’t indulge too regularly, is therapeutic? The stufff I’ve been obsessing about recently, re. family conflicts, now seems like trivia. Bring a bit drunk can give you perspective. How can I exploit this effect without becoming an alcoholic? I do feel such a lot better, and am considering spending the day of the party in a state of inebriation.

A green day, despite the wine:
B: One slice of buttered toast, half with marmite, half with jam.
L: one slice of toast with a fried egg, then a banana and some grapes.
D: a spicy lamb burger with onions, mushrooms and peppers.

Lots of wine and a small hot chocolate for supper.

Still feel like I have a chest infection - had a terrible night last night, coughing. But I feel more accepting of it now. I was worried earlier today, that maybe I had inhaled fumes from the oven cleaner on Monday, resulting in this new irritation. But it’s probably just the end of the cold. I think I’ll sleep better tonight.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, the siren call of alcohol!!!!

Your post was hilarious. Thanks for making my day.
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worth it



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia,

First of all, I hope you are feeling better and can sleep well again.

Secondly, I was laughing so hard while reading your post re: wine 🍷! Glad you had so much fun! It IS fun most of the time! 😀
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay for wine! So glad you had fun! I agree getting out and letting loose can really help to put things in perspective. I need more of that in my life!

Sounds like you are really on top of everything and sure the party will be fabulous!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aah, thank you all! And this morning... well I barely have a hint of a headache...still feeling good! 😃

The trouble is, for me, wine is hit and miss as a ‘medicine’. I think last night is was the combination of the friends and the booze. At my party it may not work so well. This is good, as it’s the reason I don’t indulge too often. But hey, it’s worth a try....I’ve never before tried drinking my way through a family ordeal....actually I am being negative now, I think on the whole the party will be fun.

Well, blow me down! The scale has shifted to a new low! Surely another reason to have three glasses of wine a night!!!!🍾😱😉
I swear it said 10 stone 4 and a half. That really is exciting. (I’m probably just in a state of extreme dehydration....). This is a great advert for vanilla- because over the summer I’ve had NWS days galore, but have never given up the basic structure....I’ve not lost weight for months, but obviously No S was still working some magic on me. I haven’t put any extra rules on my S days, but I’m finding that occasionally I forget to buy chocolate!!!!! The first sign that those S days are taming themselves. I’ve done just over 9 months on No S, and have lost at least 10lb, which for my age, height and weight, is amazing. I have no doubt that I would NEVER have lost this weight without No S. What would i have done? Probably a combo of calorie counting and giving up/overeating. I would have stayed cheerful, bought myself new clothes, and tried to work out new outfits for the bigger me. It would have beeen OK, but I feel I’ve had a narrow escape. For a while I thought No S could never work for me.

Actually, my Fibre Supplement mod - where I take an apple and a banana out of each meal and make it a snack instead (if I want to) - has helped a lot. The regime feels less restrictive, and I feel less tension. I’m glad I didn’t do this at the beginning though. I had to learn to stop grazing and snacking.

Today I’m going to look through recipe books and decide on some desserts. Also have some work to do, but I feel a bit less pressure now the oven and fridge are clean. The screws for the new dining chairs still haven’t come, so we have a load of cardboard packaging and flat pack chairs in the front room which is annoying, but I’m not as stressed as I was. If we can’t make up these new chairs in time for the party we’ll have to use a couple of office chairs. Or I’ll go out and buy plastic garden chairs!!! I DONT CARE!!!!😊
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hurrah, the missing screws for the chairs arrived and DH put them together while DD and I went to the supermarket. Have bought almost all the food and drink for the party. So, yet another task has been ticked off. Seem to have out my back out picking up the bag containing all the alcohol.... Embarassed

Today’s fodder.
B: piece of toast, half with jam, half with peanut butter. Am finding I can get through the morning with just the one slice.
L: egg and tomatoes with toast.
D: chicken curry with vegetables and rice.

Fibre Supplement mod: a banana after lunch, and I’ll probably have an apple before bed.

I could do with preparing better quality meals, but I don’t seem to have time to think about it. Maybe after the party I’ll get my act together.
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worth it



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia,

Congratulations on your new low! It’s so wonderful to know what works for you personally and to have confidence around eating.

And looks like you are almost ready for the party... I hope your back is not too bad. Shocked I just know it’s going to go great!
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ladybird30



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great to see some weight loss reward for sticking to No S. Congrats.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Ladybird and worth it!

Ive been so busy that I haven’t had time to check in since the much-anticipated party. But I’m pleased to report that the party passed without incident. In fact I think it was quite a success. But I was left with loads of calorific, palatable leftovers which became increasingly tempting as the days went by, and after having a binge-y Monday (as well as Saturday and Sunday!), I realised I needed to throw it all away, even really luxurious desserts. It’s funny, but in the old days I would never have had the strength to do this, whereas now, I’m obviously still ‘addicted’ to this stuff, but there’s a small amount of detachment which allows me to stay in control. It was salutary, though, to see how easily control is lost, just by having these huge, creamy, celebratory desserts in the fridge.

Well now I’ve clocked up two N days again, so I think I’m back in the saddle. Weight has gone up, though. I probably did get through a pound’s worth of calories in those three days.

Being too busy to check in has made me grumpy - it seems so pointless to try to start any sort of exercise routine or get any goals going. Work and other commitments are like a tidal wave, washing over my delusions of self-determination! 😩 Today I ended up working till 10pm because of having to break off so often for various parental duties...and last night I ended up doing emails at an evening class when I was supposed to be having fun. I feel defeated... I can’t seem to keep work at bay, and it seems to get the better of me despite my determination to live a balanced life. I know I’m luckier than many people though. So I must stop grumbling! It’s late so that isn’t helping.
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worth it



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia, just wanted to send some hugs 🤗! I (emphatically) know how you feel. Sometimes just doesn’t seem at all worth it.

Anyway, I hope things slow down at work very soon! Balance is so important for one’s soul. 😊
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 4:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You did really well with the leftover food. I hate food waste and have to remind myself that it is just as wasteful to eat leftovers if I'm not hungry as it is to bin it Smile

Re exercise I have found it easier not to set a routine... That way I can't fail and give up on it. I fit a good walk or 30 min yoga session in when I can. I also try and hold a plank position for a minute a few times a week ( build up to that minute Smile )

Jx
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much, worth and Soprano! I’m feeling a bit guilty for whining, when I have so much to be grateful for. Eg. Working at home most days, I can catch up on sleep when I need to, so I’m not zombing around going ‘I’m so tired, I’m so tired,’ like I was a year ago.

That is good advice, Soprano - not to have a routine, then you can’t fail at it! I need to get into a mentality of being able to recognise when I CAN take a short break, and just do a bit of random exercise. Sometimes I do get into a habit of doing a mini routine every time I go to the bathroom, or whenever I see myself in the mirror! I do a little routine of side bends and squats. But my trouble is that busyness takes away the mental capacity to remember these things. That’s my challenge: I get so focussed on finishing my work that I don’t care about anything else. So I need to get into a new mindset where a bad mood and busyness become actual cues for little exercise breaks! This could be quite transformative for me. Yes, I am thinking that I could do this.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today’s fodder.
Breakfast: Two small pieces of toast, one with marmite, the other with peanut butter.
lunch (while travelling) portion of wholemeal baguette with cheese
Apple and blackcurrant fruit juice
Dinner: prawn stir fry with lots of veggies, glass of white wine
A banana and later, apple with glass of milk

Exercise: just walking - maybe 30’ - some of it carrying heavy shopping! Does that count as weight lifting?

Oh Lord I can’t stop buying clothes. My interest in style comes and goes, sometimes I feel like it’s really important, and then I get fed up with the whole thing. I think what drives me is the memory of those rare occasions when I’ve actually nailed it, ie. have worn the right things for the circumstances, the weather, and my body.... and it makes a massive difference to how I feel. This has happened about twice in my entire life. Laughing

I spent some time experimenting with clothes tonight, forming outfits, and it was good fun. I like those blogs about ‘shopping your wardrobe’. I probably do have enough now...I should stop buying stuff and focus on actually wearing it.

Sometimes I think I’m avenging my teenage self, who had no idea how to cope with her shape and size, and didn’t have the resources to experiment. I was sooooo frumpy and sad.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the idea of no set routine too. I’ve been following this 3 month training regime which I really like but I just do the next workout whenever my next free day is. So I use the structure of what to do but I just do it when I can.

Can you come teach me how to shop my closet? Tend to wear jeans everyday! 😱 I should probably go shopping but my kids are always using up our wardrobe budget.
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3/14-210 lbs;
3/15- 202 lbs;
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9/17-177 lbs;
1/18-162 lbs;
9/18-154 lbs;









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