automated eating tracker

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:53 pm

Thank you Candace for your compassion.

The crazy thing is - the experience I described was just one of many, many upsetting situations from my childhood.

Friday, July 26

122.8

Fasting Blood Glucose: 100

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil (blood glucose mid-morning: 107)
L: yogurt w/berries (blood glucose post-lunch: 117 1 hr)
diet coke
D: (will be) buttery garlic chicken w/bacon
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Octavia » Sat Jul 27, 2019 8:25 am

Hope the family get together went OK!

X

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jul 27, 2019 2:30 pm

Thanks Octavia! Actually heading out the door right now. I decided just to stay one night, so it will be a quick visit!

Saturday, July 27

122.2

Fasting Blood Glucose: 96 (coming down a bit after just a couple lower-carb days, phew)

Kind of a lot of health things on the mind - but I'll write about those next week.

Eating Today will be unpredictable
B: coffee w/milk, coffee/ collagen protein + MCT oil
L: bacon & gruyere eggs at Starbuck's, latte
D: salad and then popcorn at the movies, diet soda
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:25 am

Im glad you’re keeping it short. Hope it goes okay as well. 💜
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Octavia » Sun Jul 28, 2019 4:33 pm

Short is good! I have become the queen of the Flying Visit. The idea of a single ‘landlocked’ day brings me out in a cold sweat :lol:

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jul 29, 2019 3:02 pm

Thanks Linda and Octavia. The short visit was very uneventful emotion-wise, thankfully. :-)
The "Flying" Visit - ha!

Here's a good example of the dysfunctional conversations in my family (yes, my dysfunctions most definitely included):

Auto's Oldest Sister: "Middle sister is arriving tonight!"
Auto: "Oh, I'm leaving just as your "favorite" sister arrives!"
Auto's Dad: "Well, it's your own fault! You're the one that decided to take this CNA class instead of spend time with your sisters!"

Yeah. So that's how we go. I immediately regretted my own words to Oldest Sister - they were obviously unkind and from a place of my own insecurities. I texted her and apologized but haven't yet talked with her. And my Dad, I realize, is constantly making comments like the one above. I'm starting to realize that the Dad I always thought was so confident in himself is actually incredibly insecure too. We are a family of a wiggling mass of fears.

I've been specifically working on a few memories/issues related to rejection fears. The issue feels too big to fix at this point. As a comparison, I have made some progress on memories where I felt sadness.

During the day with my family, I got in touch a tiny bit with the anger I felt when my dad would criticize me. Growing up, that emotion would quickly be squashed under shame. So I thought it was kinda cool to see that my counseling is really helping me get to the "core emotion" hidden, in this case, anger. Expressing anger at my parents, particularly my Dad, was out of the question when growing up. That would have risked breaking my connection with a parent and no kid wants to do that! Thus, the inhibitory emotions of shame & guilt cover up the anger, so much so that eventually I didn't even feel it.

Monday, July 29

123.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen & MCT oil
L: cheese & salami (post - lunch blood glucose: 105)
D: chicken parmesan w/bacon, broccoli w/ranch
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jul 30, 2019 2:34 pm

Tuesday, July 30

123.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries (post-lunch blood glucose: 107)
decaf coffee w/milk
diet coke
D: broccoli smothered in cheese + steak (post-dinner blood glucose: 100) :mrgreen:
sparkling water
91 days alcohol free.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Tue Jul 30, 2019 5:06 pm

Giant salad sounds good.

Seems like you're doing really well!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:13 am

Well, I ended up with broccoli again instead of salad. :-) But it was good too.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:29 am

It sounds like a lot of passive aggressive stuff going on maybe? Im really impressed with your willingness to work through this difficult family stuff. So if theres a middle child does that mean theres 3 of you or is there some brothers too? I guess i assumed you had a really large family as I'm still trying to wrap my head around how you were left behind on more than one occasion. Im even more baffled by your mom going to sleep before you even got back home.

Anyway, I get the abandoned stuff being hard. My mom used to leave me alone for hours on end and that memory is still painful after all these years. I love my mom and ive forgiven her but it still hurts. *sigh*

You’re doing great and having a lot of great insights. I think it’s so important to look at childhood trauma with our adult eyes so we can come to realize this stuff didn’t happen to us because there was something wrong with us but, more likely, because of our parents inability to give us what we needed for whatever reason. It’s hard to see that when you’re a child depending on these same grown ups for survival.
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:04 pm

Thank you Linda! There are 4 of us kids in my family - girl, boy, girl, girl (that's me, the last one!)

You are so right on with your comments in the last paragraph. You sound like my therapist! :-) Hey, there's a thought for something you might enjoy at some point in your journey! I could TOTALLY see you rocking the therapy world. :-)

I had another great appointment yesterday. It makes such a difference to have a counselor that you can really start to trust. I say "start" because that has been the ultimate big epiphany. I don't "trust" anyone to not reject or abandon me. Working on it! I'm doing a type of therapy called "emotionally focused" and you can get the gist of it by reading (and rereading, as I've done, ha!) that amazing book I keep recommending: It's not always depression. And the best part is that I can already see fruit of my labor in my connection with my kids. Like actually and true almost immediate differences - we are connecting! It's amazing and I see it as my main life focus for the rest of the my life. For those of you that have been emotionally connecting with others your whole life, wow! It makes life that much sweeter. During my session yesterday, at the beginning, I could tell I was opening up more than normal because I get the shakes! I'm not kidding you! It's happened at other times in my life, too, like after an emotionally-laden conversation with a friend or something, and usually while walking (so I don't have to make as much eye contact). Anyway, apparently the mere act of sharing my emotions with another human terrifies me to the point that I tremble.

No wonder I love this forum so much. I get to share with others but without you all really "seeing" me for fear of the judgement that would ensue. Although even on here, once in a while I get this paralyzing fear that I wrote something that will make one of you stop liking me.

Wednesday, July 31

122.0

Last day of CNA labs - tomorrow I start in the nursing home for 5 days!

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen and MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries (blood sugar pre-dinner: 91)
diet coke
D: Sexy has been making dinners for us a lot lately, and I just gratefully eat whatever he provides - tonight was chicken fake-fettucine (something he calls the "miracle noodle"/AKA Shirataki noodles) alfredo. It was delicious and incredibly filling!
decaf coffee w/milk
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Soprano
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Soprano » Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:14 pm

I can't imagine not liking you ever :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jul 31, 2019 3:45 pm

Hugs, Soprano. Thank you.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Wed Jul 31, 2019 4:09 pm

Soprano wrote:
Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:14 pm
I can't imagine not liking you ever :)

Jx
+1
I haven't been around very long, but it's clear to me that you're one of the good ones.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:55 am

Ah Candace thank you too. The support on this forum really is something special.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Aug 01, 2019 4:14 am

Oh I’m the baby too! I guess I was thinking more like 8-10 kids and maybe two cars. Anyway, I won’t dwell on it.

Ditto what everyone else said, you’re such a warm, supportive & all around lovely person. This forum wouldn’t be the same without you and I’m so happy you’re feeling comfortable opening up to us a bit. I know it’s really helped me to have a place where I can just be completely & totally honest. We don’t get to do that too often in real life. 💜
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 02, 2019 1:28 am

Linda, It's OK for you to dwell on it; I think I enjoy the sympathy! :-)
And the support from you and everyone else here really does emphasize how special this forum is to me! I definitely don't take it for granted.

Thursday, August 1

First day at the nursing home went great! I took lots of blood pressures and other vital signs and helped with feeding the residents. I enjoyed interacting with them so much more than I was expecting. I like that I can pat their shoulders or their arms and give them the care of touch. It surprises me. I thought that touching them would be the scariest part.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein and MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, diet coke
D: date night! I got trout & double serving of broccolini, plus quite a few bites of Sexy's steak gorgonzola salad. :-)
I'm going to make a cup of decaf coffee w/milk in a bit, then head up to read Harry Potter with Creator and hopefully hit the hay early. Up at 4am again for day 2 at the nursing home.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:00 am

Amazing work at the nursing home. Fantastic that you're enjoying parts of it more than you thought you would! I bet the residents love you too.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 03, 2019 2:26 am

Day 2 at the nursing home over! It went well but I am so tired. Getting up at 4am has definitely worn me out. I look forward to hitting the hay tonight and sleeping until I wake up naturally tomorrow.

Friday, August 2
Fasting blood glucose (at 4am): 104, holy crap!

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, diet coke
D: chicken alfredo w/fake fettucine again (Miracle Noodles/Shirataki noodles) and a giant salad
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 03, 2019 2:31 pm

My dentist is having me wear a pulse oxymeter for 3 nights in a row to check for sleep apnea. If I have it, he will modify my new bite guard to supposedly help keep my airway open during the night. I'll let you know the results, probably coming in a few weeks.

Saturday, Aug 3

122.6
Fasting Blood Glucose: 96

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, diet coke, some chocolate (post-meal blood glucose: 139)
D: ground beef with more of those Miracle noodles; I also added cheese and guacamole
decaf coffee w/milk
Sexy made some sort of keto brownies. They tasted like.... well, like they didn't have any sugar in them. So I had a scoop of ice cream with them. :-)
decaf coffee w/milk needed after that....
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Sat Aug 03, 2019 3:07 pm

Good luck with the sleep apnea experiment. My brother wears a CPAP machine when he sleeps. He says it's made a huge difference for him.

Getting up so early does sound extremely rough! I bet you're growing by leaps and bounds for doing this though. I hope you get good sleep and opportunities to decompress.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:38 pm

morning BP: 103/57
morning FBG: 104
weight: 122.2

Sunday, Aug 4

My fasting blood glucose has been at 104 twice this week, and the high 90's the other two times I tested.

As I brainstorm, I consider that the mild worsening of my blood sugar control could be attributed to the following:
*major loosening on the amount of sugar on the weekends in the past few months
*diet soda (yes, believe it or not I've read that it can worsen insulin resistance)

*not exercising normally (although I have been very active this summer, just not my normal long walk/jogs)
*stress of sleep deprivation
*stress of work in the nursing home (new experiences)

*Alcohol was probably muting my liver's gluconeogenesis in the early-morning hours, so now that I've quit, I'm seeing the full extent of my liver's capacity for pumping out sugar the wee hours, ignoring insulin for all its worth. :-)
*Are the sugars in my milk and yogurt too much for my body to handle at this point?

So those are my ideas. I have highlighted in GREEN the ones choose to improve right away.
Highlighted in BLUE are the ones that will fix themselves naturally within a week or so.
I have highlighted in RED the one that terrifies my if it were to be true and even has me feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to give this some time and not make any adjustments to my yogurt or coffee w/milk until maybe another month has passed.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: burrito bowl at Taco del Mar - cheese, double portion of ground beef, guacamole, onions, salsa, sour cream, cabbage, and lettuce
dessert 1: a low carb chocolate almond bar (another Sexy purchase). This one was actually really good! And it won't wonk out my blood sugar so I am so happy to have at least one excellent dessert option on my S days. I recommend it if you are interested: Dark Chocolate w/ Sea Salt Sugar Free Choc Zero w/Almonds. No artificial sweeteners or Sugar Alcohols. Quite honestly, I'm not sure how they made it taste so good.
The ingredients are: Dark chocolate, Soluble corn fiber, almonds, sea salt, sunflower lecithin, monk fruit extract, madagascar vanilla beans.
D: pizza on low-carb crust (another of Sexy's purchases).
dessert 2: 2 keto brownies w/whipped cream on top - the brownies actually tasted good this way.
decaf coffee w/milk

Moving
Jogged 2 shelter dogs (Millie and Zeuss)

And now to try to go to sleep early enough to get at least 6 hours of sleep tonight. :wink:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Aug 04, 2019 2:48 pm

Good for you for brainstorming and trying to think about this logically. I have heard the theory that sugar substitutes can cause an insulin response in some ppl. Doc seemed doubtful when i told him this but it may be worth considering.

Im sad for you too. You've made so many positive changes. It doesn’t seem fair. :(

I hope you figure out a relatively painless solution. Have you asked your doctor or want to wait on that?
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Sun Aug 04, 2019 4:06 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:38 pm
morning BP: 103/57
morning FBG: 104
weight: 122.2

Sunday, Aug 4

My fasting blood glucose has been at 104 twice this week, and the high 90's the other two times I tested.

As I brainstorm, I consider that the mild worsening of my blood sugar control could be attributed to the following:
*major loosening on the amount of sugar on the weekends in the past few months
*diet soda (yes, believe it or not I've read that it can worsen insulin resistance)

*not exercising normally (although I have been very active this summer, just not my normal long walk/jogs)
*stress of sleep deprivation
*stress of work in the nursing home (new experiences)

*Alcohol was probably muting my liver's gluconeogenesis in the early-morning hours, so now that I've quit, I'm seeing the full extent of my liver's capacity for pumping out sugar the wee hours, ignoring insulin for all its worth. :-)
*Are the sugars in my milk and yogurt too much for my body to handle at this point?

So those are my ideas. I have highlighted in GREEN the ones choose to improve right away.
Highlighted in BLUE are the ones that will fix themselves naturally within a week or so.
I have highlighted in RED the one that terrifies my if it were to be true and even has me feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to give this some time and not make any adjustments to my yogurt or coffee w/milk until maybe another month has passed.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: (will be)
D: (will be)
Brava to you for your approach, and especially for being vigilant of your blood sugar. I have no idea what mine is, and my dad has Type 2 diabetes. I bet if you can make some changes in the green areas, you won't even have to consider the red ones. I wonder if there's any other way to reduce your fasting blood glucose in a healthy way, without giving up the things in red? A Google search suggests that increasing fiber, drinking plenty of water, and exercising regularly may all help with fasting glucose. Maybe add a serving of beans, broccoli or similar sometime during the week? I hope it's not presumptuous to make these suggestions. Milk and yogurt are supposed to be good for you, and if you're used to eating them and maintaining a healthy weight, it seems like you should be able to keep having them!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:12 pm

Linda - thank you for the sympathy (it is exactly what I needed, I think - a little permission to feel sorry for myself for a little while!) - I'm trying to eliminate diet soda altogether but there are some days (like today) when it just really hits the spot. But I think I'll get there. And my docs are generally supportive - maybe I'll get some new ideas soon.

Candace - good reminder about the great effects exercise has on my blood glucose control. I'm just too dang tired to run right now, but I only have 2 more days of clinicals and then I will aim to get back to my normal routine. It would be very encouraging if that alone brings my blood sugar down in the morning. I do get gobs of water already, and decent amount of fiber, but many days I forget my soluble fiber supplement. Also a good reminder - thank you.

Monday, Aug 5

123.4

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, diet coke
1 glass of milk after work as I wait for dinner
D: bunless cheeseburger (guac, pickles, onion, tomato, bacon) + giant kale salad
decaf coffee w/milk
P.S. Dealing with cravings tonight - not having the Diet Sprite crutch and the Wine Witch actually reared its ugly temptress head! Grrr.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Soprano
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Soprano » Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:58 am

Have you tried sparkling water? Add ice and slice of fruit or even a drop of fruit juice :)

I find it very refreshing and feels more like a treat than still..

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:11 pm

Best of luck with the cravings. Big hugs. You're doing so much and making lots of smart moves to take care of yourself. It's really tough to keep everything in line all the time. Sometimes the lower priority things will take less precedence. That's okay. You've got a lot of balls in the air.

I admire the work you're doing now. But it sounds like it's a lot to add to your normal routine. I hope you get a little time to decompress soon.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:37 am

Hi Soprano - yes, I do like sparkling water, but it is not quite the sweet boom of a diet soda. But I didn't have any diet soda today, just sparkling water. Progress. It's like I substituted one addiction (diet sprite) for another (wine!). But working on it.

Thank you Candace for the kind and encouraging comments. Tomorrow is my last day of clinicals! After that I need to study for and take the state test, but otherwise I'll be done. I'll basically have 3 weeks off with my kids before they head back to school. My family and my parents and my brother will be at the coast for 2 nights. Another family reunion..... :shock:

Tuesday, Aug 6

123.0

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, sparkling water
coffee w/cream
D: turkey sandwich (pickles, guacamole, bacon, cheese, tomato) on homemade low-carb bread (Sexy made it - yes he is on some sort of kick, but I'll take it).
more sparkling water
decaf coffee w/cream

Did I mention that Sexy hasn't been drinking either? He stopped June 21st. He's been working out, eating homemade meals, and has lost 20 pounds since spring. He hasn't been this trim since college.

I had another amazing counseling appt. We worked on some 4th grade rejection issues. I had been doing some drawing and journaling about things and getting down to core emotions, etc. The counselor mentioned at one point that it seemed I've possibly found a "trauma network" related to this rejection stuff. What I do know is that this work is lightening my soul. I emerge from each session (by myself and then just once a week with him) having validated some long-dismissed feeling, and it is like having a healing river wash over me. Very practically, it's helping me interact better in my daily situations. Sometimes I need to steal away for a moment to take some deep breaths and sink into the core feeling and validate it (for example, disgust at the CNA teacher that was putting the students down) - Once I've acknowledged how I felt, I am able to continue on feeling free of the pull of my reactive and defensive self. This happens lots with parenting too.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Soprano
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Soprano » Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am

I suspect most of us will always find something to be addictive to, the healthier the substance the better though.

Problem is defining healthy and I suppose any addiction isn't really healthy. Gosh life is so complicated sometimes..

Your self awareness is amazing. So pleased the counselling is helping :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Aug 07, 2019 5:54 pm

So glad you had another wonderful counseling session. Oh that childhood stuff can effect us far and wide I know. It’s not easy to face these issues. You should be proud.

Btw, what about stevia sweetened diet sodas? I know some theorize it has less of an insulin effect. I found this video interesting: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lSJvIu5jRNw

Hang in there. You’re doing great!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:50 pm

Linda - I followed that link and now I think I know how I'm going to spend my time after dinner! LOL, watching more of those 2 fit docs! I put it on 2X speed and zoom through. These self-experimenters are my kind of people! :-)
I appear to be one of the people that doesn't have the metabolism to deal well with artificial sweeteners!

Thanks Soprano for the compliment about my self-awareness. 8)

I finished my CNA class! I'm so thrilled about my accomplishment and I'm so glad I did this! I have so many ideas for bringing these ideas into my classroom.

Wednesday, August 7

122.6

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries
decaf coffee w/cream
D: fried tilapia "breaded" with pork rinds (Sexy again). Giant kale salad
(will have) one more decaf coffee w/cream after dinner

I have three glorious weeks of vacation to spend with my boys.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:55 am

Wonderful stuff! I wish you the best of times during your vacation. Congratulations on your accomplishments!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Aug 08, 2019 2:36 am

Glad you enjoyed the video. Thought it might be up your alley!

Yay for vacation and for finishing your class! Enjoy your time with your boys.
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

THE 100 DAY ALCOHOL - FREE REPORT

Post by automatedeating » Thu Aug 08, 2019 3:37 pm

THE 100 DAY ALCOHOL - FREE REPORT

122.2
Fasting Blood Glucose: 99
Morning Blood Pressure: 105/67

I really do think that giving up alcohol is why my morning blood glucose has gone up (although I'm hoping it's relatively temporary). It's well-described that alcohol lowers fasting blood glucose, but I don't think it's worth it for me to drink wine at night just to get better numbers. I'm not sure what the future holds with alcohol and me, but right now I am not inclined to break my streak.

Reflecting on my time without alcohol, here are some observations at this point in the game:

1. I sleep better.

2. I NEVER wake up nauseated, or anxious, or guilty, or with insomnia at 3 in the morning! And this was common before quitting.

3. I DO unfortunately wake up with headaches more now (ironic, isn't it)? At this point my working hypothesis is that I grind my teeth more when I am alcohol-free. And I just finished wearing a pulse oxymeter three nights in a row; my dentist is going to download the data and see if there's any sign of sleep apnea. So take-home here - quitting alcohol may have unmasked more health things that I am now attending to.

4. My kidneys don't hurt any more (it's a dull ache in my lower back, usually right side), which may or may not be related - my kidney function has not improved on paper, but it's nice to have the aches go away.

5. I had to go back in my NoS game because quitting alcohol left a void that I was tempted to fill with ice cream and candy, etc. Some days I gave in more than others, especially at the beginning. I switched to using diet soda to satisfy the cravings, but then realized I needed to avoid that becoming a pattern. So now I'm using the diet soda only for those days when I really need it. No more free for all.

6. My weight has been a little less stable since quitting alcohol. I think lots of water shifting around, plus some over-the-top S Days and some not-so-great N Days. But at 100 days out, I'm thrilled that I didn't gain a ton of weight. On the Coach.me app, some of my buddies there have lost tons of weight since quitting. That's not me, but I was at a healthy weight to start, so that probably explains it! :-)

7. Quitting alcohol propelled me on a new phase of my life as far as spiritual and emotional growth goes. I started seeing the therapist specifically to stay alcohol free, and anyone reading here knows that my therapist and I talk about my childhood, and my parenting. All excellent progress. I feel more equipped and capable of meeting the emotional needs of my children. And everyone I care about, actually.

8. Similar to above, the same practices that are helping me attune to my family and friends are helping me in daily events when I get triggered - at work with a colleague or boss, etc. Again, I feel more competent and stable and less likely to be reactive when I feel unexpected emotions.

9. I have been reading SO MUCH MORE. I got a Kindle Paperwhite and I pay for Kindle Unlimited - I read fun books (Witches Reign by Shannon Mayer for anyone looking for a romping good time) - I read self-help books (It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel), and I read psychological thrillers or whatever literary fiction is most highly recommended. Additionally, I upped our family's Audible subscription and I have been listening to books while driving this summer (the class I was taking put my in the car for a couple of hours a day). Now that the class is done, I think the listening will be on my walk/jogs in the morning.

10. I am cleaning my house more, taking care of my yard more, and preparing for work days the night before. In general, getting the kids to and from all their various places is just easier now. I don't feel resentful about our schedule anymore. I feel like I have so much more time in each day.

11. I'm filled with excitement about the future. I loved my CNA class this summer, and now I'm considering whether to take a sabbatical at work to get my M.A. (medical assisting). Another idea bouncing around is to get another Master's Degree, this time in Medical Nutrition (Arizona State has a fully online degree). Not sure yet which direction to go, but I'll be pondering these ideas over the next couple of months (the sabbatical application is due in October).

Thursday, August 8

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: yogurt w/berries, a latte with a friend
D: fish fried in pork rinds
decaf coffee w/milk
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

jenji
Posts: 615
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by jenji » Thu Aug 08, 2019 4:30 pm

Great assessment of what has changed for you with the alcohol-free habit. I am so proud of you for the therapy, and I am inspired. I am making a big life change with my work, and I think that therapy would be good for me, too.

I know that exercise has a big impact on blood sugar, although I am not knowledgeable enough about resting blood sugar to know if it carries over to that. I suspect you know the answer to that. Either way, it sounds as though you anticipate exercise returning to your routine soon.
Last edited by jenji on Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 173#, BMI 26.7 - 09/05/2019

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:45 am

WOW. Just wow. I'm just floored by your first 100 days! The list goes on and on. Amazing! I hope you give yourself a big pat on the back and do something enjoyable to mark the occasion.

Applause!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:52 pm

Thanks Jen! It feels pretty great, actually. I already went on my walk/jog this morning! So yes - hopefully back in the regular exercise saddle. :-) And I totally absolutely think therapy is great for pretty much everybody. I do think this time I'm making much more progress because the particular counselor I'm working with is very good at helping me with my major trouble spot (which is actually feeling my feelings rather than just trying to "observe" my feelings from the thinking throne of my brain, haha). I've been to counselors in the past and I've ended up just giving reports and managing to still keep my actual feelings at bay. And having feelings in FRONT of another person is just terrifying for me - so vulnerable. Anyway, sorry to ramble there but I think it's great that you might go. My insurance covers most of it so I only have to pay $30/session, which is excellent. I will be very interested to hear about your job changes. I know you have been very busy with your non-profit, and a lot of the work has been in the evenings. So I will be curious to hear about any changes!'

Candace - thank you! I really am proud of myself. What's also funny is that I started therapy to get support to stay alcohol-free, and yet we NEVER talk about alcohol. It's as if both my counselor and I know that the alcohol was just something I had to swoop aside so I could experience my feelings instead of numbing them. The alcohol was just a distraction to my living.

Friday, August 9

121.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 103

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil, bacon
L: yogurt w/berries
coffee w/milk
D: low-carb homemade pizza (yep - Sexy), followed by a few tortilla chips w/artichoke cheese dip, then I couldn't resist and tried his new low-carb dessert (which was good, it was sort of like a brownie). Too much food tonight.
decaf coffee w/milk

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 10, 2019 1:58 pm

Saturday, August 10 - S DAY

122.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 104
Then I went running and it went UP to 111. :|

Eating
B: coffee w/half and half, keto bark (chocolate w/almonds)
L: tortilla chips w/artichoke cheese dip, low-carb dessert w/whipped cream, Doritos, another - different - low-carb dessert made by Sexy - pumpkin cheesecake. today is a grand taste-test of his strange sugar-free options. They are actually pretty good, but I am not normally inclined to eat foods that try to pretend to be other foods.... he is more interested in that approach than me. I think I will just not complain if he is doing the cooking. :lol:
decaf coffee w/milk
D: carne asada on a giant salad with the obligate guacamole. :-)
bone broth (trying to start having a cup of this every day....hard habit to get into for some reason. I am neutral about the taste. That's probably why.)
one more piece of keto bark

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:28 pm

Keto bark sounds yummy.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Aug 11, 2019 2:14 am

Yeah, Candace it is surprisingly amazing. I would pick it over a regular almond chocolate bark.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

3squaremeals
Posts: 291
Joined: Sun Oct 23, 2016 11:03 pm
Location: Australia

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by 3squaremeals » Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:22 am

Yum that keto bark sounds good. I love making my own chocolate bark and adding lots of yummy things like coconut, dried cranberries, pepita's, nuts etc.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Aug 11, 2019 1:11 pm

3Squares - I am not surprised you make your own chocolate bark. :-) You are quite the baker/chef/candlestick maker. :lol:

Sunday, August 11 - S Day

123.6
Fasting Blood Glucose: 105

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen + MCT oil
dessert 1: 2 brownie-type desserts
L: bacon, eggs, & 1/2 an English muffin
dessert 2: strawberry sundae from costco
D: keto bark, pumpkin cheesecake
decaf coffee w/milk
(will have) bone broth after dinner

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Aug 11, 2019 2:26 pm

Omgosh congrats on a 100 days!! 🎉🥳 That is amazing and your list just blows me away. So much good has come from your alcohol free days. You definitely should feel proud as i know how hard you had to fight to get to this place. I love that you just dont give up.

Great plan on not complaining as long as sexy is cooking. How nice! Interesting that alcohol doesn’t really come up during your counseling sessions. I remember how surprised i was that food and weight never came up when i was in therapy. I guess sometimes the stuff we focus in is really just a symptom of larger issues.

Youve come so far these last several months. I look forward to watching your journey progres. Keep up the great work! 💜
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

oolala53
Posts: 9653
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by oolala53 » Mon Aug 12, 2019 10:06 pm

I sure have missed a lot, but will jump in any way.

I took a webinar recently on dealing with past negative influences and it seemed to me that the teacher/therapist (he deals mostly with addicts) implied that the most important work to be done is on this side, meaning with oneself. So even if the others don't make much of an opening, healing can happen. But as someone who hasn't even considered going to visit an older sister for a few years, even though we've had good telephone conversations and some visits at her children's, I get how sticky it can feel. Why can't they just think like me and do it my way?????

And I didn't have such obviously negating experiences, though you might not know that by the levels of fear, shame, anxiety, etc., I do contend with. I can get offended just like that! But I"d say from my meditation/Buddhist exposure that we don't have a lock on all that, though apparently the Dalai Lama has been shocked by the level of self-hatred Westerners reveal to him. But fear for this mortal self /identity has been around for the ages, it would seem.

You are doing great stuff all around!
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:33 am

Thanks Linda and Oolala! I sort of swing from feeling some pride and joy at my progress, to feeling overwhelmed or despairing at where I am at; this is particularly more likely to occur if I begin ruminating on the mistakes I've made as a parent.

Monday, August 12

123.4
Fasting Blood Glucose: 107

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/cream, caesar salad w/beef strips
L: yogurt w/berries
decaf coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
D: caesar salad w/beef strips
chicken broth w/cream

Moving
Long walk/jog w/ Happy Herder - discovered a new set of trails not too far from my house!

PersonalLearning
Enjoying a new podcast:
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/episodes/
Today I listened to a few on different attachment styles - I think episodes 59, 60, and 61
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:34 am

I hope you're enjoying all the exercise, especially the new trails!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

Soprano
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Soprano » Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:13 pm

Don't ruminate on parenting mistakes, I've been doing a bit of that lately!!

I'd love to have some of my time again to do it differently but we can't and have to accept that and get better going forward :)

Like all of us you did the best you could at the time, no one can ask more....

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:54 pm

Candace - the new trails are so exciting! I love having new routes for my morning walk/jogs - and if I can be in the woods for most of it, I am a happier and healthier person.

Soprano, thank you. No more ruminating for either of us! :-) We can put that energy into forging greater connection with our children right now. Today. Whatever life stage they are at.

Tuesday, August 13
Heading to the beach for 2 nights!

123.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 95

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries, hopefully a latte
D: (will be) grilled hot dogs at the beach (driving day)
hopefully decaf coffee w/cream
possibly a s'more. :-)

Moving
Walk/jog w/HappyHerder before taking him to the boarding kennel!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:57 pm

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy the beach!
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Aug 15, 2019 2:13 am

Gosh, i so get the guilt over your children. I was such an emotional wreck when my kids were young and it’s hard not to feel badly about it. I did a lot of inappropriate yelling & lashing out. I think it was a combination of sleep deprivation, hormones and generally feeling overwhelmed. Doesn’t excuse it of course but ive learned to forgive myself. And my kids seemed to have come out of it okay although i do blame myself, at least partially, for Sweetpea’s anxiety issues but that could be partly genetic too.

Anyway, the really important thing is that we’ve hung in there and tried to do better and be better for them. We’ve consistently provided food, shelter, education and the knowledge that they are loved. We’ve had many a sleepless nights worrying about their well being because we care and want with all our hearts a happy & fulfilling life for our babies. That is love and they can feel it in their bones no matter how many times we mess up. My girls have thrived and so will your boys. You are a good, thoughtful and loving mom. So forgive yourself because what your kids want most is a happy momma. 💜
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 16, 2019 4:15 pm

Thank you Linda. I love how you said "they can feel it in their bones". That gave me shivers.

Candace - beach was great! And family issues (parents/brother) were minimal to non-existent. I made sure to keep busy and focus on the kids (both mine and niece/nephew). That really helped, I think. Did lots of biking, playing in the waves, and went walk/jogging both mornings. Beautiful beach weather for the Northwest.

We got home late last night and I am not going to bother/try to list what I ate on vacation. I'd rather spend time journaling and preparing for my therapy appt tonight.

OK, so....

Friday, August 16
124.4
fasting blood glucose: 107

Eating
B: coffee w/ half 'n half, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries (my blueberry bush this summer has been incredible - probably 10 pints or more - and my ever-bearing strawberries have STILL been producing, even in August!)
D: fried fish w/veggies
decaf coffee w/half and half

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder!!!!!! Tired but will do this! Yep.

PersonalLearning
At my therapist's recommendation, I have started a new book called "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Alice Miller. It's not actually about gifted children - it's about how kids develop a "false self" to please their parents and then hopefully can reveal/find their true selves as adults.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 17, 2019 2:28 pm

Saturday, August 17

124.2
S Day!

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: IHOP with Creator after school shopping - crepes w/strawberries (blood glucose up to 135 after this whale of a meal)
D: fried rockfish and steamed broccoli w/cheese
dessert: one of Sexy's newest sugar-free desserts w/a scoop of ice cream; sugar-free almond chocolate bar

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Sat Aug 17, 2019 4:50 pm

Hooray for S days! Today couldn't have come too soon for me.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Aug 18, 2019 2:47 pm

S Day Sunday! :-)

Sunday, August 18
124.4
Fasting Blood Glucose: 112

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT, bacon, eggs, and 1/4 of an apple
L: yogurt w/berries, latte
D: homemade pizza, 2 choc chip cookies, 1 brownie-type dessert w/whipped cream
decaf coffee w/ half and half

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder, climbing w/Creator
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Mon Aug 19, 2019 3:33 pm

Monday, August 19

123.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 102

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: yogurt w/berries, a couple slices of apple
D: giant kale salad w/bacon bits & cheese
decaf coffee w/half & half

Moving
(will) walk/jog HappyHerder

PersonalLearning
Inspired by a few books, I reached out to some old friends via email this morning.
I've been reading so many books I am sure I have missed listing some key ones.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 4:24 pm

Hi Auto,
I’ve not been around for a while, but have been thinking about you, and my other good friends here on No S! First, belated congratulations over your amazing alcohol-free streak. I felt so inspired to read about all the benefits you’ve racked up. Especially the one about feeling there’s more time in the day to get things done - feeling less resentful about all the commitments in your busy life. I think I related very strongly to that. What’s particularly wonderful is that you’ve managed to keep No S going, while having all this other stuff to think about!

Many of us seem to be going through phases of reflection, dealing with pain from our past. I’m the same right now. I recently discovered The Anxiety Guy - podcasts by a guy called Dennis Simsek. His website is called Anxiety Exit. Now at first, I was very put off by his slightly poor use of words. He’s not at all grammatical, and sometimes his sentences don’t quite add up, as if he’s rambling off the top of his head. So it took me a while to realise that this guy really has something to say, and he goes a bit deeper than many anxiety experts, without making you feel as if you need a lifetime of Freudian therapy. I’ve started to realise how much shame and fear I hold within, how much lack of trust of my own decisions. But one thing I’ve noticed, across many of us on this board, is how we have made sure that our children have been better equipped for life, better supported than we were ourselves. We’ve managed to turn our negative experiences into benefits for our young ones! We should all be proud of this. :)

Now. If only I could stick to No S and lose a bit of weight. :lol: Rolls up sleeves.

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:51 pm

You are doing so great, auto! Your glucose was down yesterday and -- have you eliminated the diet soda? Wow. Fantastic.

How much do you think tracking your food and your numbers helps you? I've always read that a food log is one of the most important contributors for those who are successful. I find it a bit of a chore but I think it helps me.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Aug 20, 2019 2:18 pm

Octavia - thanks for that shout-out for The Anxiety Guy! I really enjoy podcasts on my walks.

Candace - I have pretty much eliminated the diet soda, but I'm not sure what is going on with my blood sugar. That 107 and 112 have literally been the highest fasting values I have EVER seen. A year ago, eating pretty much this same way, my fasting blood sugars were often in the 80's. I know there are many factors that could be involved - in fact, I've even wondered if my meter is off (it's a new one, so it certainly is possible that I didn't calibrate it properly or something). I've made an appt to get my A1C measured - that is an excellent way to gauge blood sugar averages over the past 3 months. That will help me decide if I really have a problem here. So I continue to try not to freak out, but it takes effort.

As far as journaling, it is my saving grace. I definitely was on an upward creep weight-wise (well, quitting alcohol threw me so off my eating game), and I think weighing daily (and my app graphs it) was able to help me avoid gaining a whole bunch of weight, which I promise you I could FEEL my body want to do. It was as if my set-point went back up 15 pounds when I wasn't drinking anymore. I sort of think things are settling down, but I remain vigilant. So journaling here is absolutely key to my success, and also to my peace of mind. I do some journaling on a private document, but this forum is where I often "put things together", and try to articulate where I'm at. My private journal sometimes looks like a hurricane of words and confusing images.

Tuesday, August 20

122.6
Fasting Blood Glucose: 103

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: yogurt w/berries
D: trout, broccolini, bacon-roasted brussel sprouts
decaf coffee w/milk

PersonalLearning
"Fear of the Abyss: Healing the Wounds of Shame & Perfectionism by Aleta Edwards
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Aug 21, 2019 1:48 pm

Wednesday, August 21

122.6
Fasting Blood Glucose: 101 (and I went in yesterday for my A1C test - I'll post results when I get them and consider new strategies if necessary)

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: yogurt w/berries - can you believe that I am STILL getting blueberries from my backyard this summer? My blueberries have been amazing. And I have "ever-bearing" strawberries that produced a lot in June/early July, then went quiescent, and now are producing again! Great berry summer.
D: salmon cakes (fried w/egg & pork rind mix) and a giant pile of broccoli w/cheese. Flipping amazing meal. My husband is now saying he wants to quit teaching (math) and go to culinary school. :lol: Go Sexy!
decaf coffee w/milk
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:36 pm

So so jelly of your berries!!!
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:06 pm

Hi Auto!

I just wanted to say Hi and thank you for popping in on my check in and for your encouragement! Congratulations on your alcohol free streak!

I have kindle unlimited too and I have been going nuts on it the past few weeks since I finished my summer classes. I am an avid reader and I love always having a book to read.

Also, that is so cool that you took CNA classes. That is something I really thought long and hard about doing but in the end I decided against it. I think it was the right decision for me but knowing more about it now, I really admire CNA's and anyone in the medical field really.

I hope you have a great day! :)

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:14 pm

Linda - yesterday 6 Robins descended upon my blueberry bush! I sent out HappyHerder and he took care of that! :-)
Even though we have a very very small backyard, it's enough to have a short row of strawberries and 3 blueberry bushes. I am totally into the fruit thing - forget all the work and effort needed to grow tomatoes, or most other veggies. LOL. Actually, salads grow great here too and those would be any easy addition to start this fall. OK, dang it, I think you have inspired me toward improvement without even realizing it! That's why you're such a good activist! :lol: 8)

Oh, and speaking of "jelly/jealousy", my therapy has unearthed a MASSIVE sort of grotesque and shame-filled ball of nasty envy in me. At the risk of making you ALL roll your eyes, I am admitting that I have spent much of my life wishing I was more popular and charismatic than I am. This probably helps explain my recent work angst in wish I want to die sometimes because I'm not the most effective or the most popular teacher. Sigh. Admission of the problem is (hopefully) the first step toward healing. Workin' on it...... :roll:

Thursday, August 22

122.6
Fasting Blood Glucose: 96

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: yogurt w/berries
D: broccoli w/cheese, a small salad, chicken kabobs, and bacon-wrapped jalapenos
(will probably have) decaf coffee w/milk

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder - super long walk/jog to work through some emotions from a triggering event.

PersonalLearning
Spinning through a bunch of self-help books on shame - trying to quickly find a cure to my work-related insecurity issues. Haha as if a quick cure to a lifetime of my issues will be found.
Reading a fiction book that has grabbed my by the wrist and is dragging me down its alleyways - The 13th Tale by Diane Setterfield
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:15 pm

Pinkhippy! I think we were posting at the same time!

So what are you thinking about for school? Enjoy your days before the next quarter/semester starts!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Aug 22, 2019 4:24 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:15 pm
Pinkhippy! I think we were posting at the same time!

So what are you thinking about for school? Enjoy your days before the next quarter/semester starts!
Yes it looks like it! Are you a teacher? Sorry to make you repeat yourself.

Well, actually I am in school for computer science with an emphasis on web development and web design. I graduate in the spring of 2020! I am very excited. That involves many programming classes which are fun but hard. I really enjoyed web design this summer though.

I actually was in the early education field most of my first 20 years of careers. I have been a preschool teacher, a preschool PE coach and a substitute teacher only for elementary. I need a break from the feeling of constantly being on and dealing with kids. It's pretty scary to do something so completely different though.

hah! Anyway, sorry for the novel in YOUR journal.

That is great you are in therapy and doing so much good work! I really think therapy is helpful. Recognizing the parts of ourselves that we don't like
or want to admit are there is the only way to move forward with change and improvement in my opinion. Of course I don't know your situation, I am just speaking in general terms based on my experiences. :)

Anyway, thank you! I am enjoying these last few days for sure! :)
Last edited by pinkhippie on Fri Aug 23, 2019 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

jenji
Posts: 615
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by jenji » Thu Aug 22, 2019 9:43 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:14 pm

Oh, and speaking of "jelly/jealousy", my therapy has unearthed a MASSIVE sort of grotesque and shame-filled ball of nasty envy in me. At the risk of making you ALL roll your eyes, I am admitting that I have spent much of my life wishing I was more popular and charismatic than I am. This probably helps explain my recent work angst in wish I want to die sometimes because I'm not the most effective or the most popular teacher. Sigh. Admission of the problem is (hopefully) the first step toward healing. Workin' on it...... :roll:
Here's the thing about this. You needn't feel shame, in my opinion, about this one. We are social animals, built to care about where we stand on the pecking order, even if our brain knows we shouldn't worry about it. It's kind of a normal preoccupation. Even those at "the top" worry about being knocked off, and those who are less popular can't help wondering if we can do more. Like other worries, I often have to remind myself that these were leftovers from when being less popular meant less food or less babies surviving, but now it does not matter that way. We all need some friends, some good ones ideally, but we don't need to charm everyone we meet. We can now say F that! Hooray!
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 173#, BMI 26.7 - 09/05/2019

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Fri Aug 23, 2019 1:46 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:14 pm
{snip}

Oh, and speaking of "jelly/jealousy", my therapy has unearthed a MASSIVE sort of grotesque and shame-filled ball of nasty envy in me. At the risk of making you ALL roll your eyes, I am admitting that I have spent much of my life wishing I was more popular and charismatic than I am. This probably helps explain my recent work angst in wish I want to die sometimes because I'm not the most effective or the most popular teacher. Sigh. Admission of the problem is (hopefully) the first step toward healing. Workin' on it...... :roll:

{snip}
I can sympathize. Charisma is an amazing thing. I wish I had it. I think there are probably some ways to increase it, but when it comes down to it, I haven't done the work. And I don't have the natural gift. You're not alone! But I bet you're an excellent teacher and more popular than you think. Your desire for excellence comes through on this board, loud and clear, so I bet it comes through even more in person. I would bet you have a lot to be proud of as a teacher.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 23, 2019 1:56 pm

Pinkie - your ed plan sounds really interesting and a nice change of direction from working with little ones. I teach college students, but earlier in my career I taught middle and high school. Even those ages were so draining emotionally for me. And, sometimes in my thread here you'll catch me in an existential crisis, where I am literally questioning and disparaging all aspects of my careers, giftings, and future directions. :lol:
But for the most part I love my career and think it's a really good fit.

Jen - I agree with you, but my emotional brain seems to go its own way on this one and want to beat me up about this stuff quite a bit. I read a really cool article where the author explained how comparison for self-improvement can be useful as we try to improve in a particular area. But comparison for self-evaluation (or self-flagellation or self-aggrandizement, as the case may be) leads to unhealthy relationship patterns.

Candace - thank you for those sweet words. I am really determined to work toward a better place emotionally in my teaching this year. I really DO love so much about my career, and I actually find myself angry that I let comparison steal my joy.

I have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out whether I have really low self-esteem, or if I am narcissist. LOL, I'm so afraid of that particular word being slapped on my that I have not even mentioned this to my therapist. Probably time to face that ugly word. I do think I have lots of narcissistic tendencies (not saying I think I have the disorder!), but I am also starting to think that my highly sensitive personality hems and haws over subtleties that many people would move on from.

Friday, August 23

122.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 98
A1C update (this test gives a 3-month average for blood sugar): 5.9%, which is an average blood sugar of 123 over the past 3 months. 1 year ago it was 5.6%, or an average of 114. Ideally, I would like to see this number at 5.0%.

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: yogurt w/berries (going to take careful BG measurements today to see if I'm reacting more poorly to this meal these days....) I really don't want to go above 120 after this meal. I think it has about 30 g sugar altogether, between the lactose and the berries)
*blood glucose pre-lunch: 89
*1 hour post-yogurt: 107
*90 min post-yogurt: 120
*100 min (added this time point when the 90 min was so high - I'm trying to catch the peak): 111 (so hopefully I caught the peak at 120, which just happens to be my personal top-number that I'm comfortable seeing)
2 hours post-yogurt: 123
3.5 hours post-yogurt: 101
Unfortunately, I missed the 2.5 hours and 3 hours tests because I forgot my kit at home when I took Challenger to trombone practice. Ergh. So I'm not sure if that 123 was my peak or not.
D: cheeseburger guacamole, bacon, tomato, onion, bacon, lettuce, pickle - w/Sexy's homemade pork rind bread
decaf coffee w/milk (1 hour post meal - 110; 2 hours post meal - 105
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:35 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Fri Aug 23, 2019 1:56 pm
Pinkie - your ed plan sounds really interesting and a nice change of direction from working with little ones. I teach college students, but earlier in my career I taught middle and high school. Even those ages were so draining emotionally for me. And, sometimes in my thread here you'll catch me in an existential crisis, where I am literally questioning and disparaging all aspects of my careers, giftings, and future directions. :lol:
But for the most part I love my career and think it's a really good fit.

Jen - I agree with you, but my emotional brain seems to go its own way on this one and want to beat me up about this stuff quite a bit. I read a really cool article where the author explained how comparison for self-improvement can be useful as we try to improve in a particular area. But comparison for self-evaluation (or self-flagellation or self-aggrandizement, as the case may be) leads to unhealthy relationship patterns.

Candace - thank you for those sweet words. I am really determined to work toward a better place emotionally in my teaching this year. I really DO love so much about my career, and I actually find myself angry that I let comparison steal my joy.

I have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out whether I have really low self-esteem, or if I am narcissist. LOL, I'm so afraid of that particular word being slapped on my that I have not even mentioned this to my therapist. Probably time to face that ugly word. I do think I have lots of narcissistic tendencies (not saying I think I have the disorder!), but I am also starting to think that my highly sensitive personality hems and haws over subtleties that many people would move on from.

Friday, August 23

122.8
Fasting Blood Glucose: 98

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
(will allow if needed) 1 cup milk
D: (will be) giant salad + some as-yet-undecided protein
(will probably have) decaf coffee w/milk

Moving
(will) walk/jog w/HappyHerder
I think teaching college students sounds pretty great! I tutor college students as part of my work study and I really like it. I know that is nothing like teaching a classroom though. Middle school and high school takes a special kind of bravery in my opinion. When I was a substitute I never took high school or middle school jobs. But I had friends who couldn't handle elementary and would only take high school! I think you need different skill sets and sometimes different personality traits to teach different age groups. That is so great that you love your career! What subject/s do you teach?

I know what you mean about being sensitive and feeling like you have narcissistic tendencies. I have to work really hard at not hemming and hawing over subtleties that I think are possibly all about me. I know that although I am agonizing over this thing I said( or someones perceived reaction to me or to what I said) for 3 hours, the person I said it to left it behind or didn't even care from the moment I said it. It can be tough for me to stop that mindset of overthinking everything.

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Fri Aug 23, 2019 5:35 pm

Auto, I think you should bring it up with your therapist so she/he can set your mind at ease. I'm not a clinician or even a medical provider, but aren't a couple of signs of narcissism 1) Not caring about other peoples' feelings except as a means of manipulating them and 2) already thinking they're the best at everything they do, even in the face of contrary evidence?

From what you've written on this forum, those two signs are not only absent, they're as far away from your personality as could be imagined. My wish for you is that you can remove that worry from your list of things to worry about. Hugs! I hope that's not too opinionated or high-handed (both big flaws of mine).
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Aug 24, 2019 2:56 pm

I think your feelings of wishing you were more charismatic is okay snd very normal. Have you seen all the self-help books in this area? Probably the fact that you have shame around that issue is more problematic then anything else but I totally get it. Just the fact that you’re opening up about these feelings should, hopefully, go a long way towards healing that shame.

As far as narcissistic tendencies I’d have to say I dont see it. You wouldn’t wish you were more of something, you’d already think you were extra special. And I’m often in awe of how you’re able to really put yourself out there and compliment ppl in such a genuine and meaningful way. You really have a gift. My ex-best friend has a narcissistic personality (according to doc) and Im lucky if she asks me one thing about myself in an hour long conversation. In fact, I ran into her once after my 40 lb weight loss and she did not say one word about it. I truly don’t think she even noticed.

Anyway, that’s a story for another time but you are obviously a very caring and loving person who just wants to be as successful as possible which is perfectly normal and even healthy. The good news is that as you get older, you won’t give a dang about what other ppl think. Something to look forward to.

Also, I think it’s awesome that you are facing all the little (and big) uncomfortable things.

*hugs* L
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 24, 2019 3:46 pm

Pinkie - I teach Biology classes! Mostly Anatomy & Physiology, Microbiology, General Biology. And I LOVE them all - so much fun. My students tend to be quite interested in learning, too, which is great.

Candace - You had me laughing when I read your post. It is true that the #1 narcissitic trait is lack of empathy. When you put it like that, I am well aware that I have plenty of empathy. :-) I think it's the "fragile ego yet grandiose need for admiration" traits that always makes me squirm. But I will bring it up with my therapist Tuesday because it all ties in with my yearning to teach my subjects without needing to compare my abilities or style to other teachers. Wouldn't that be amazing and freeing? Ahhhh!

Linda - just saw your post as I was posting this one! :-) I think it is totally where I am at that I need to work through this shame and accept some icky things about me and then just try to LIVE.... working on it. :-) What you said about your ex-best friend is how my parents both can be like. I always worry I'm doing that too, since I talk so much. Working on it. :-) LOL, that's my new mantra.....wry grin.......

Saturday, August 24
122.8
S Day!

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: chicken curry w/ some rice (blood glucose pre-lunch: 98; 30 min: 117; 1hr: 142 holy crap; 1.5 hours: 127 didn't continue - I think it was pretty evident that chicken curry ain't too good for my blood sugar.
D: flank steak & a giant salad
desserts: Sexy has been making low-carb treats all week, which I have been determinedly ignoring. So today I will get to sample them - mini cheesecakes, peanut butter cups, and butter crisp brownies.

Just FYI I had a few opportunities to work the change triangle recently. I like to keep track of these because it helps me recognize that I am making progress in learning to respond from a place of open-heartedness and not reacting from defenses; or shame or anxiety.

1. With Challenger yesterday, he said "You care more about dogs than me." OK, wow. Trigger statement! I told him I was feeling upset and made an excuse to go back to the store alone, giving myself a little space to process. So I had to work the Change Triangle. I realized I was experiencing deep shame at his statement. As I sat with the shame, it gradually moved aside and I was able to sense my core emotions - fear of making a mistake/failing at motherhood and disgust at myself for making this misstep with him (I had interrupted his story in the car by pointing out 2 pugs being walked), anger that he didn't appreciate that I had been listening, validating, and mirroring his feelings and sharings for the entire ride home in the car (until that moment when I interrupted him).
When I got home, I asked if we could talk. We had a really good "repair" conversation, and the amazing part was that I was able to, without shame, apologize for interrupting, and reassure him that he means more to me than dogs, and we even talked a little bit about hobbies and how it's good to have them but important they do not cause our loved ones to feel overlooked. I also wanted him to know that in the future I really want him to let me know if he feels overlooked. I love the Change Triangle. I want to give Hilary Jacobs Hendel a giant hug for giving me hope with my family. :mrgreen:

2. The second working recently was not as happy an ending, but "happier" than it might otherwise have been. Sexy was upset that I had made a decision different than his advice to me. It immediately triggered me - once again the deep shame over making a mistake in the relationship (I hadn't realized in the least that he would be affected by this particular decision). I had to go on a walk, seriously long one (probably 2 hours), to finally shift aside the shame and get to my core emotions. I am way-good at blocking with shame, holy cow. Anyway, in this case, the core emotion that was the biggest was ANGER. Like big-momma anger! I was so mad that he expected me to automatically do what he wanted, especially in this case when I was the leader of this particular decision (OK I'll just tell y'all - I'm the commissioner of our work Fantasy League) and so I'm the one that has to deal with push-back, blow-back, and feisty upset members. He was in the peanut gallery criticizing me yet no way would he ever take on the Commish role. Anyway, so I let myself FEEL the anger! It felt great, actually! I had a great time on my walk swearing about folks in the peanut gallery and so on. HappyHerder thought I was crazy, but I ended up in giggles over expressing my anger. And there was also SADNESS that Sexy and I can't seem to achieve the intimacy that I crave. There's always some sort of a wall between us - we both undoubtedly contribute in our own private tango. And disgust again that I had messed up (because I actually would have done whatever I could to appease him - although I'm not saying that's necessarily healthy). I sure have a lot of complex emotions! One single incident provokes numerous emotions (duh many of you are probably saying). I have to validate them each before I feel settled again. So the finale here was that I went home in a very open-hearted state, calm and confident and clear. Yet still feeling some sadness because "repairing" with Sexy is not something that we do. We avoid and move on. Sigh. But I still felt better for working the change triangle for myself.

3. Can't remember if I documented this one - but I had a phone call with a friend from college (20 years ago sheesh!) and we had a great conversation. But as soon as I got off the phone I felt anxiety. So I sat with the anxiety and after some serious grounding/breathing, it finally moved aside (perhaps I should have taken a walk in this instance as well) and I found lots of core emotions: joy, excitement, sadness, fear, even a little anger that had been provoked during the conversation (which was a GREAT conversation!). I realized that I had been pushing down all these "dangerous" feelings DURING the conversation. How strange of me! But I validated them, one by one, and presto - anxiety was finally gone. A take-away here is that I would like to start allowing myself to feel core emotions even while I'm in conversation with someone instead of waiting until I am in private. That would be wild!

So.... a summary learning that I want to document is something truly mind-blowing - I have spent my life working to hide my core emotions while interacting with others (they see superficial expressions of emotions but they are defensive ones, like joking around, sarcasm, even a little anger, joyful banter.... but these things are actually defensive emotions that don't necessarily reflect my core emotions..). Occasionally I do express sadness when talking with someone - like crying with a friend. But it's not easy and I usually fear terribly anxious afterwards. But, and here's the cool but unusual part - I do often process my feelings, but I have always done it in private! Like through a journal like this. It's not "real-time", ya know? It's all after the fact! Growing up I had no one to share my feelings with, and it was NOT ALLOWED to show the so-called "negative" core emotions to my parents, so I had to hide them to keep connection. I'm so thankful for fiction writing so that I could at least READ about other people's emotional lives. Without being a big reader, yikes - I might have ended up completely cut off from my emotions.

The other take-away at this point is that it can me HOURS to do this process. Yep. That's a long time. I'm hoping I get quicker....... :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4210
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:10 am

So much good stuff here. You are inspiring me to face my emotions head on. So hard! Oh Rosebud tells me i love tessa more than her. It’s not true, of course, but it’s just such a simpler kind of love. I love how well you handled it. And the taking walks to get in touch with what you’re really feeling before you react is just so wonderful. You are doing great and making such great progress. 💜
💜💜💜 Please no body or food shaming. Eyes on your own plate. 💜💜💜

3/14-210 lbs;
3/19-163 lbs
7/6-176 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Candace » Sun Aug 25, 2019 12:03 pm

Writing in a journal (as you know) is also a great way to process feelings. I write in a private one. I often find that I didn't realize just how I felt until I started writing, and I would get layers deeper than before putting pen to paper. I also find myself feeling compelled to veer off into problem solving. I find this annoying but it does help me actually make my lot better.

Do you surprise yourself with what comes out in your journaling?
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:12 pm

Thanks Linda. I really AM making progress, which is so surprising at my age. Haha. Seriously, though, I didn't expect to make such big shifts in my feelings of connection with my kids just from these new (to me) techniques. It's lifted me from a kind of resigned feeling that I'm messing my kids up to a (more) peaceful sense that we are all humans and doing the best we can. There is no perfect mom, no perfect kids, and my kids WILL have to work through stuff when they are adults. That's what being on this earth entails, I guess. Inner work and outer connection...

Candace - the biggest surprises recently have been the anger that I sometimes find underneath the shame. This makes sense from what I've read - sometimes as kids we know it's not safe to express the anger so we squash it under shame. Remove the shame and there's a strong person with anger under there. That has surprised me. I have more oomph to me than I thought - I'm just afraid to display it for fear of losing connection. And wowza - yes - I veer into problem-solving. This "intellectualizing" of my feelings is something I am a world-class expert on! :lol: Using that defense though has not helped me to uncover the actual feelings, so this new approach I'm using is really really brand new to me.

Sunday, August 25
122.2
Fasting Blood Glucose: 101

Last night my whole family went to our fantasy football draft party at a co-workers house. It was really fun, and I tried staying present with my feelings, but within an hour of the start of the party I couldn't keep up with my feelings, so after the party I had the usual anxiety. But, unlike usual, I worked it with the change triangle. :-) Got to the fear of rejection under the anxiety - sat with it, and mostly it dissipated. I was pretty tired, so I wasn't as able to sink in as I'd like to. But I reassured myself that I'd prefer to be brave and (occasionally and intentionally, ha!) social than run away and avoid people. I also reassured myself that even if someone at the party rejected me, I wouldn't die. :-)

Eating
B: coffee w/half&half, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT
L: 1/4 cup walnuts, yogurt w/berries (pre-lunch: 90) then went walk/jogging 20 min after eating and my 2 hour glucose was 109, which is better than the 123 of Friday) - so exercising (at least gentle exercise) right after eating helps. More intense might be even better (or not) but I am not motivated to do more than I do.
D: bacon hamburger casserole, green beans
dessert: low-carb peanut butter cup, cheesecake

note - changes in coming week include - half&half in coffee instead of milk - once my current fancy milk runs out ; 1/4 cup walnuts either for breakfast or with lunch; walk or jog about 30 min after eating lunch to blunt the postprandial blood sugar spike I get from my yogurt (which I'm not ready to give up yet - ha!). At least my beloved yogurt is not as hard on my blood sugar as chicken curry!! Sheesh that was a sad surprise.

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:53 pm

Thats awesome that you teach biology and that you love all the subjects you teach! I'm sure that comes across to your students as well. I know when I am in a class where the professor is enthusiastic about their subjects it really makes a difference. My 16 year old is taking anatomy and physiology this year and she is really enjoying it so far.

Sometimes when I read your journal I feel like I am reading about myself. ( that could be seen as a narcissistic tendency but I prefer to think of it as my INFP tendency. :D ) I really relate to everything you are saying. I know that as a preschool teacher I had all the same anxieties you talk about in your teaching career, and if I taught college as you do I already know that would be an issue for me as well, comparing my style and abilities to other teachers and wanting to be admired. I kind of do that as a student actually.

Also as far as the emotions and not feeling them until after the fact... yep. It can get really annoying because I do that even with good happy things. It's hard for me to "have fun" in the moment because I have to get away and process and then feel the joy. Anyway, you are doing so much good work! I love to see your process ; I think it is helpful for those who read it too.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:32 pm

Pinkhippie! You inspired me to take that personality test! And guess what?! We are similar! I came out INFJ. It warms my heart that you could relate to my post. I feel vulnerable when I post so much about myself, and your validation really felt special. Thanks!

And I'm not surprised your 16 year old loves A&P! Students sometimes feel the class is very difficult, but I never have anyone say they find it boring. It's the best! :-)

Monday, August 26

122.4
Fasting Blood Glucose: 95

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: 1.5 cups yogurt and 1 cup berries (meant to bring walnuts but forgot them)
D: bunless burger with onions, tomato, lettuce, cheese, a big kale and cabbage salad with walnuts and cheese
decaf coffee w/half & half

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder; a walk after lunch at work

Some goals going forward - looking to add 1/4 cup walnuts every day and I might split my yogurt between breakfast and lunch so that I don't get as big of glucose spike at either of those meals. Also looking to go on a walk of some kind, or just jumping jacks or something, after every meal to help blunt my blood sugar spike. I ordered 100 more glucose strips today. I've got some fun experiments planned. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 26, 2019 4:46 pm

pinkhippie wrote:
Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:53 pm
I love to see your process ; I think it is helpful for those who read it too.
it’s certainly helpful for me, thanks Auto for sharing your journey.

I too squash anger beneath other emotions - for me, to it’s usually intense fear. I seem to experience anger as hatred, and I get really terrified that I don’t love the people I’m supposed to love. When DH makes me angry I’m ashamed of how much I hate him. There’s no way I can express myself respectfully in that moment because I am not feeling any respect...that’s the trouble...so I generally stay quiet.

I was interested in what you said about wanting to be the best. I don’t think that is narcissistic at all. I think it’s tied in to survival. Don’t know whether this might be of any use to you, but there’s a book on this very subject by Loretta Graziano Breuning - it’s called I, Mammal. (I love the title!) I haven’t read that particular one but I’ve read some of her others, and they do help me come to terms with my own secret desire to be the best!

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Aug 27, 2019 2:56 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:32 pm
Pinkhippie! You inspired me to take that personality test! And guess what?! We are similar! I came out INFJ. It warms my heart that you could relate to my post. I feel vulnerable when I post so much about myself, and your validation really felt special. Thanks!

And I'm not surprised your 16 year old loves A&P! Students sometimes feel the class is very difficult, but I never have anyone say they find it boring. It's the best! :-)

Monday, August 26

122.4
Fasting Blood Glucose: 95

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, coffee w/collagen protein + MCT oil
L: 1.5 cups yogurt and 1 cup berries (meant to bring walnuts but forgot them)
D: bunless burger with onions, tomato, lettuce, cheese, a big kale and cabbage salad with walnuts and cheese
decaf coffee w/half & half

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder; a walk after lunch at work

Some goals going forward - looking to add 1/4 cup walnuts every day and I might split my yogurt between breakfast and lunch so that I don't get as big of glucose spike at either of those meals. Also looking to go on a walk of some kind, or just jumping jacks or something, after every meal to help blunt my blood sugar spike. I ordered 100 more glucose strips today. I've got some fun experiments planned. :-)
Awesome about the personality test! From what I understand INFJ and INFP are very similar, and for a while I wasn't sure if I was an INFJ or an INFP but I have come to realize I am INFP for sure. My husband is a J (ENTJ) and that really helps me understand that better. For a while I was REALLY into personality type. :D

I am glad that my relating to your post was helpful. I think its really brave to share yourself when you are feeling vulnerable. I am still working on that aspect for myself. :)

Yeah my daughter seems to really be enjoying A and P so far. Last night at the dinner table she was trying to use vocab words from that class in sentences, like anterior, posterior, proximal, etc...

I am interested in your glucose experiments. I have noticed exercise helps sometimes when I am feeling dizzy too. Like hopping on the elliptical for about 5 minutes can make my head feel better. But only shortly after a meal not a few hours later.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Aug 27, 2019 4:44 pm

Octavia! Isn't it crazy how we can feel hatred toward someone we love? That is so hard for us to reconcile (even as adults) - I imagine that could be completely scary to a kid. I, Mammal! I love that title too! I will look it up, although I'm finally back to work and my summer reading is sadly becoming curtailed by syallabi writing, argh. :roll:

Pinkhippie - how very interesting that your dizziness goes away when you get on the elliptical. It would be interesting to take your BP and BG right before and then right after such an experiment. :-) My husband used to have high blood pressure (can you believe that it is almost LOW now! His diet changes have really been amazing for him). Anyway, I used to have him soak his feet in hot water and I would measure his blood pressure before and after. It always went way down as the blood vessels in his feet finally dilated. When we were first dating (in college - ages ago!!), I used to constantly try to measure his hematocrit and things like that. :D

Tuesday, August 27
121.4

Eating
B: coffee w/cream, 1/4 cup walnuts
L: yogurt w/berries
D: beef pot roast with steamed cauliflower and a big salad w/cheese and olive oil & vinegar.

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder first thing, walk/jog after lunch and (will) walk after dinner
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Aug 28, 2019 3:37 pm

Wednesday, August 28
121.6

Eating
B: coffee w/cream
Um, so I passed out for a few seconds this morning, about 11am. Low blood pressure. Some kind strangers gave me a few saltines and a little apple juice. Think I'm needing to remember to include more sodium in my diet. I had gotten lax about that, and since I eat very few processed foods, sodium is low in my normal meals. It was a little scary, and embarrassing, and I have a massive bruise on my butt from the fall (thankfully my butt and not my head took the brunt of the collapse). I drank a couple cups of broth to recover.
L: yogurt w/berries, 1/4 cup walnuts
D: "wedgie" bunless burger at Red Robin and broccoli

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
swimming w/Creator mid-afternoon - trying to get in the habit of going to the Y with kids most days after school.
walk/jog after dinner
weight-lifting today - tentative plan to take kids to the YMCA after school most days and do 30 min of weight-lifting and then sit in the steam room or swim with Creator. This is an ambitious plan, but Challenger really wants to do this (he shoots baskets and is learning to lift weights), and they have a tween room for Creator to wait in while I lift. Also, this is typically my LEAST productive time of the day, so perhaps this could be a way to turn an oft-wasted opportunity into a new habit. We shall see.
note - both resistance training and steam rooms have some evidence that they can improve insulin sensitivity. note also the more frequent (but shorter) walk/jogs, particularly to occur after eating.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:44 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Wed Aug 28, 2019 3:37 pm
Wednesday, August 28
121.6

Eating
B: coffee w/cream
Um, so I passed out for a few seconds this morning, about 11am. Low blood pressure. Some kind strangers gave me a few saltines and a little apple juice. Think I'm needing to remember to include more sodium in my diet. I had gotten lax about that, and since I eat very few processed foods, sodium is low in my normal meals. It was a little scary, and embarrassing, and I have a massive bruise on my butt from the fall (thankfully my butt and not my head took the brunt of the collapse). I drank a couple cups of broth to recover.
L: yogurt w/berries, 1/4 cup walnuts
D: "wedgie" bunless burger at Red Robin and broccoli

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
swimming w/Creator mid-afternoon - trying to get in the habit of going to the Y with kids most days after school.
(will) walk/jog after dinner
weight-lifting today - tentative plan to take kids to the YMCA after school most days and do 30 min of weight-lifting and then sit in the steam room or swim with Creator. This is an ambitious plan, but Challenger really wants to do this (he shoots baskets and is learning to lift weights), and they have a tween room for Creator to wait in while I lift. Also, this is typically my LEAST productive time of the day, so perhaps this could be a way to turn an oft-wasted opportunity into a new habit. We shall see.
note - both resistance training and steam rooms have some evidence that they can improve insulin sensitivity. note also the more frequent (but shorter) walk/jogs, particularly to occur after eating.
Oh yikes! I am glad you are OK. I passed out once too and I had the same thing with the massive butt bruise. Scary!

Sounds like a good plan to go the YMCA for weight lifting. Interesting about steam rooms and resistance training improving insulin sensitivity. I have not lifted weights in a few months, I really need to get back on it.

I hope you felt ok for the rest of the day and are doing Ok today!

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:47 pm

Thanks Pinkie. I feel perfectly fine now; in fact, I felt perfect by a couple hours after having the broth. Lesson learned.....! Yeah, the butt bruise is painful and this morning I woke up with a stiff neck, a little bit of whiplash I suspect.

Thursday, August 29

121.4
BP: 103/47 had broth right after this and before walking. Was quite normal after the walk.

Eating
B: 1 cup bone broth, coffee w/half & half, and some mid-morning walnuts
L: yogurt w/berries
D: chicken milanese & green beans & salad; a little steak, too, and one plum
1 cup broth after dinner and 1 cup decaf coffee w/cream

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
walk w/co-worker at 11:30
YMCA and lifted weights (upper body) for 20 min, then swam with Creator in the lazy river, then sat in the steam room
walk after dinner

I'm thinking this school year is going to have a focus on exercise. I have done what I can with diet to bring my blood sugars down; I will now explore the benefits that physical activity can bring. I'll get my A1C tested again in 3 months and compare.
Sexy gave me his old fitbit. It's an Alta, and it works nicely - I do wish it had HR but oh well. It was free. I'm most interested in seeing the sleep records, but for some reason it didn't give me any data last night. I'll give it another couple days to see if it starts picking up my sleep.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 698
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Octavia » Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:29 pm

Hope you’re feeling better today, Auto. Fainting is such a weird experience. The last time it happened to me, I woke up going ‘I didn’t faint! I didn’t! I was just having a rest!’ :lol:
It took me a few seconds to work out that I had indeed fainted...

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:15 am

LOL, Octavia, me too!! I was laying there thinking, "Why did I lay down right in everyone's way? I should have laid down off to the side of the aisle.... "
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:39 pm

Friday, August 30

121.6
FBG: 102
Morning BP: 103/69

Eating
B: coffee w/half&half, 1/4 cup of walnuts, 1 cup bone broth
L: yogurt w/berries (BG 2 hours post-lunch was 105! That's great!)
D: 1 cup broth, leftover milanese chicken, kale salad, and some leftover steak, one plum
notably - Sexy gone tonight on an all-day hike, so I got the boys whatever they wanted for dinner. Creator picked McDonald's and Challenger picked Domino's. So yeah - both of those meals in the car and now in my house because of course there's leftovers. I'm writing this now, about an hour after getting home. I just realized that I was never really tempted to eat their food. At one point, in the car, I imagined biting into the pizza and how it would taste. That tomato sauce, the bread. I knew it would taste good. And then I immediately considered how I would feel afterwards, and the idea just ... dissipated. A very unique and wonderful experience. Similar, I have to say, to how I would feel when I ignored the gentle call of wine in my early days alcohol-free. The dinner I did have was entirely delicious and I think I feel much happier now than I would have after eating 3 pieces of pizza (there is no such thing as 1 piece of pizza in my world.....)
(will have) decaf coffee w/half&half later

Moving
walk/jog w/HappyHerder
walk after lunch and dinner
take kids to the Y and lift & swim
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:24 pm

Saturday, Aug 31
S Day! :-) Which means "keto desserts" for a prediabetic, haha But still exciting

121.6
FBG: 97
BP: 109/67

Interestingly, I was reading some articles about salt deficiencies and learned that most people do NOT get noticeably hypotensive when they don't have enough salt. Their stress hormones kick in and keep them stable; however, long-term this is probably more stressful on the body than just increasing salt in the diet right now. I had 3 cups of broth yesterday, for a total of 1000mg extra sodium that way. I'm aiming for about 3500mg sodium/day. Yogurt has barely any, and I don't usually remember to salt my dinner (but I'm working on it).

Heavy drinkers are prone to have very low A1C values (remember mine went from 5.6 - 5.9% and I wonder if it was quitting drinking that did that?!). Obviously I don't want to be a heavy drinker anymore, but I do think a glass of wine on a regular basis is probably good for me (not saying everyone needs that). My problem is that I have never successfully moderated. One glass? LOL! I never drank more than 2 in an evening. Seriously. Never. That's like a joke to me. I rarely had more than 3, so it's not like I was binge-drinking, either, but that is still way too much on a regular basis for long-term health. Anyway, for now I'm not touching that dangerous pool of experimentation. Maybe in 2020 I'll consider it.

Eating
B: decaf coffee w/half&half, then a cup of broth, then 2 cups of regular coffee w/half & half. All of this before going out to coffee with a friend; 1/4 cup walnuts and a tablespoon of yogurt.
taste-tested two low-carb cookies - snickerdoodle & chocolate chip. They were good, but almond flour is #1 ingredient, something kidney stone formers like myself need to avoid. Then had one of those mini low-carb cheesecakes Sexy made last week. Still staring at leftover pizza but refusing. I'm trying this on for size.... "Hey Auto, want some pizza?" "Ah, thanks but I've quit pizza". :lol:

L: yogurt w/berries
BG pre-lunch: 100
30 min post yogurt: 118
2.5 hours post yogurt: 108
D: giant salad w/a scrambled egg, cheese, guacamole, and some olive oil and vinegar (and a lot of salt, lol). Note - this was a surprisingly satisfying and tasty meal. And safe to say it won't hardly budge my blood sugar.
Decaf coffee w/half&half
keto chocolate bar (note - my BG went UP after this treat by about 25 points. This food has 13 g fiber and 2 g net carb. I guess I could be one of those people that has a blood glucose response to fiber....? I've read about that but don't quite understand it. And there is something called monk extract in it that maybe I especially reacted to. I'm not saying I won't have it again, but wanted to jot this down while I remembered. Update - I actually left an amazon review about this product! After researching a bit more, I discovered that what KetoBark calls fiber may actually be more like cornstarch. Anyway, the amazon reviews had multiple people reporting their blood sugar spiked after this treat, so I guess it's deliciousness was too good to be true)

Moving
short walk with friend before coffee
1.5 hour walk after lunch and after dinner
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sun Sep 01, 2019 1:07 pm

Sunday, September 1
122.2
BG: 100 (today I went back through my journal and found fasting blood sugars routinely in the mid-70's to mid-80's EATING THE SAME DIET). This was around 8 months ago. The ONLY difference I can find was the amount of alcohol. :shock: So, if assume that alcohol lowers my fasting blood glucose (and by consequence, also keeps my A1C lower), do I START drinking again? That seems crazy, right? But my prediabetic blood sugars are no fun. As I journaled a few days ago, I think it's too soon to try that risky experiment. I need to see if my liver settles down with a few more months adjusting to life without alcohol. LOL, I just had the ironic memory of testing borderline gestational diabetes. Yep, alcohol-free during pregnancy! Ha!!!!! Maybe all those epidemiology studies saying moderate drinkers have less diabetes actually have some truth in them. But for me, it makes like a 20 point difference. That's got to be unusual. I'm so confused.
BP: 115/69

Eating - Every Hour Glucose Measurement Today. S Day means more variability.
5am, Fasting Blood Glucose: 100
decaf coffee w/half&half, 1 cup salted water
6:30am: 105
1 cup regular coffee w/half&half, 1/4 cup walnuts
7:45am: 112
cup coffee w/half&half
8:30am: 109
1 cup yogurt w/berries (splitting up the yogurt today)
9:30am: 97
10:30am: 107
2 bacon, 2 eggs, 1 more cup coffee w/half&half
11:30am: 107
12:30pm: 110
ate rest of yogurt w/berries
1:45pm: 121
went on a 1.5 hour walk/jog
3:15pm: 95
had 3 pieces of leftover bacon
4:30pm: 97
decaf coffee w/half&half
5:30pm: 102
Mexican restaurant for a birthday party. I had something called "Brocheta" - steak, mushrooms, bacon, onions, carrots, green peppers, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, cheese. It was delicious.
6:30pm: 97
walked from 7 - 7:30
7:30pm: 102
one more cup decaf coffee w/half&half
1 cup of bone broth
8:30pm: 104
9:30pm: 110


Listed by hour for review of an "S" day:
5am: 100
6:30am: 105
7:45am: 112
8:30am: 109
9:30am: 97
10:30am: 107
11:30am: 107
12:30pm: 110
1:45pm: 121
3:15pm: 95
4:30pm: 97
5:30pm: 102
6:30pm: 97
7:30pm: 102
8:30pm: 104
9:30pm: 110

Moving
Main exercise aims for today include:
*250 steps every hour between 7am and 8pm
*30 min walk after lunch and dinner (I read this review and it was amazingly helpful:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4814694/)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:34 pm

Monday, Sept 2

123.0
FBG: 95
morning BP: 101/68

Eating
B: decaf coffee w/half&half, 1 cup salty lemon water, 1 cup coffee w/half&half, 1/4 cup walnuts & 3/4 cup yogurt w/berries
L: 1.25 cups yogurt w/berries
1 cup decaf coffee w/half&half
D: salad w/olive oil & vinegar; roasted radishes, and salmon cakes
decaf coffee w/half&half
1 cup broth

Moving
walked 15K steps
walked after lunch and after dinner
got at least 250 steps in an hour (so I don't stay at my desk for hours w/out moving)

Today is a holiday here but I am eager to get into the office. I'll probably just work until mid-dayish. Update - got a lot done actually. Making good progress and being true to myself. Keeping that ugly thief of joy away (comparison ugh!) and focusing on my strengths as a teacher.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

honey
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 12:54 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by honey » Tue Sep 03, 2019 5:14 am

Nice that you got so much done at work - that's a great feeling.
It's great that you are being true to yourself and focusing on your strengths, it's what really matters! I find I can be quite rotten to myself sometimes.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Tue Sep 03, 2019 2:45 pm

So true, honey! We can be awful to ourselves. Let's break that habit!

Tuesday, September 3
122.8

Eating
B: coffee w/half&half, walnuts, part of yogurt
L: yogurt w/berries
D: salad w/blue cheese, egg, and bacon; fried tilapia
decaf coffee

Moving
Woke up heavy, tired, groggy. Thought maybe my body needs to take it easy so no morning walk today. I'm hopeful I'll perk up later and get more walking in.
30 min walk after lunch
- also going to YMCA with kids after school. I bought goggles and swimcap so that I can frolic more freely with Creator. :-) *had fun with my cutie*
after dinner walk w/HappyHerder

PersonalLearning
Yesterday I listened to my one of my favorite Peter Attia The Drive podcasts ever. I was ecstatically loving every part of it. I will not deny grinning ear to ear with joy.
https://peterattiamd.com/roneshsinha/
In this episode, Dr. Ronesh Sinha, a physician, author, and educator based in Silicon Valley, shares his many insights into metabolic illness that he has gleaned from his South Asian patient population. In this conversation we focus on hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance, metabolic dysregulation, inflammation, blood pressure, obesity, etc. and ways to address them with nutrition, sleep, exercise, stress management, and more. We also take a deep dive into insulin resistant phenotypes, evolutionary theory and geographic determinants of insulin resistance which provides insight into the genetic architecture and pathophysiology of metabolic syndrome. Additionally, we discuss the surprisingly interrelated topic of stress, and how we might be inadvertently passing this on to our children, leading to mental and physical sickness down the road.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:49 pm

Wednesday, Sept 4
122.2
FBG: 94

Eating
B: coffee w/milk
brunch: 1/4 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup yogurt
lunch: yogurt w/berries
dinner: salad w/ fried fish
chicken bone broth

Moving
again, so heavy and tired this morning I didn't walk. I think weight-lifting is really taking it out of me. I'm listening to my body and just moving more as the day goes on. Yesterday I still got in over 15K steps and 75 min walking, so walks after lunch and dinner get enough movement + weights, which I'll do again today + swimming with Creator.
14K steps - no weights - instead I swam the whole time with Creator.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:20 pm

Thursday, Sept 5
121.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 1/4 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup yogurt
L: yogurt w/berries
decaf coffee w/milk before dinner
D: salad + roast beef sandwich on keto bread (Sexy makes this)

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
walk after lunch
swim w/Creator
(will) walk after dinner

PersonalLearning
My newest favorite podcast is "TherapyUncensored". They are very into attachment theory. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

jenji
Posts: 615
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by jenji » Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:28 pm

jenji wrote:
Thu Sep 05, 2019 6:28 pm
automatedeating wrote:
Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:20 pm
Thursday, Sept 5
121.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 1/4 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup yogurt
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) salad + protein
(will have) decaf coffee w/milk after dinner

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
(will) walk after lunch
(will) lift weights
(will) swim w/Creator
(will) walk after dinner

PersonalLearning

My newest favorite podcast is "TherapyUncensored". They are very into attachment theory. :-)
Whew, that is a lot of exercise. Do you take shorter walks on weight lifting days?
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 173#, BMI 26.7 - 09/05/2019

pinkhippie
Posts: 149
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Sep 05, 2019 7:08 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:20 pm
Thursday, Sept 5
121.2

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, 1/4 cup walnuts, 1/4 cup yogurt
L: (will be) yogurt w/berries
D: (will be) salad + protein
(will have) decaf coffee w/milk after dinner

Moving
walk/jog HappyHerder
(will) walk after lunch
(will) lift weights
(will) swim w/Creator
(will) walk after dinner

PersonalLearning
My newest favorite podcast is "TherapyUncensored". They are very into attachment theory. :-)
Wow I agree, that is a lot of exercise! How are you feeling?

Therapy uncensored sounds interesting. Attachment theory like being securely attached to a caregiver from birth or not?
I have never listened to a podcast if you can believe it, but I love audio books. Right now I am listening to " Mindset, the psychology of success" and probably annoying everyone around me as I can't stop talking about it. :)

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:10 pm

Pinkie - I'm sure I would love to hear you talk about your book! :-)

Jen & Pinkie - I have just switched out my one long daily walk/jog (1hr+) for 3 shorter walk/jogs (morning, after lunch, and then after dinner). So not extra exercise, really - just tactically to regulate my blood sugar.
My weight lifting hardly qualifies. It's 20 min of either upper or lower on machines. Just 2 or 3 days a week. It's like weight-lifting for relaxation, ha!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

jenji
Posts: 615
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:00 pm
Location: Cambridge

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by jenji » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:44 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:10 pm
Pinkie - I'm sure I would love to hear you talk about your book! :-)

Jen & Pinkie - I have just switched out my one long daily walk/jog (1hr+) for 3 shorter walk/jogs (morning, after lunch, and then after dinner). So not extra exercise, really - just tactically to regulate my blood sugar.
My weight lifting hardly qualifies. It's 20 min of either upper or lower on machines. Just 2 or 3 days a week. It's like weight-lifting for relaxation, ha!
Sounds good. I honestly believe that type of exercise - the routine and relatively easy kind - is so much better for the body than pounding away. I do one crazy event a year (a Ragnar relay), and I am often ill and/or gain weight after it.
I'm a 49-year-old mom and non-profit CEO
I am 5' 7.5"
Began No S at 184#, BMI 28.4 - 9/25/2017
Current weight 173#, BMI 26.7 - 09/05/2019

ladybird30
Posts: 549
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 10:41 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by ladybird30 » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:42 am

Hi Auto, just had a couple of days off with the lurgy, which has given me time to catch up on the last few months posts.
That is an incredible journey you have been through the last few months. By the way, INTJ here for what its worth.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:01 pm

Hi Ladybird! What in the world is the lurgy? Well, nevermind, I took the liberty of looking it up:
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-dre1.htm
Ha! And I was even pronouncing it wrong.

INTJ :-) ? And Pinkhippie is INTP. And I am INFJ. Are we a forum of "INs"? Introverted Visionaries? Ha! And perhaps you read where I used to test as a "T" but since all this counseling I'm firmly an F! Double Ha!!! Actually, I really do think it's finally spot on - I think my upbringing and my coping mechanisms had me awkwardly always trying to deny my feelings. In fact, I think I'm kind of extreme with the F thing. I'm starting to pick apart why being around someone that is feeling upset so profoundly causes my system to go wonk-wire (I just made that word up). The advantage I suppose I have at coming to the "feeling" world so late in life is that I have my left brain skills firmly in place to keep me from joining a cult, for example. :mrgreen:

Friday, Sept 6
121.0
FBG: 98 (you know, this number has definitely improved since tightening up my eating. That said, it's still nowhere near what it was when I drank wine everyday. How's that for shite life luck...?)

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, handful walnuts + few bites yogurt
L: yogurt w/berries (2 hours post-meal BG: 108)
D: date night - french onion soup + steak gorgonzola salad
decaf coffee w/milk
fail - 2 keto peanut butter cookies that Sexy had made. I should have waited until tomorrow, but I was feeling weak about things.

Moving
taking it easy today. planning to swim with creator and go on after meal gentle walks.
went on a pretty long walk/jog w/HappyHerder after lunch and dinner.
14K steps

I'm feeling a bit put-upon by my family. I've been working so hard to be there for each of them, listen, not judge, be validating, etc. And I'm worn down. Creator in particular has been so needy the last couple of months. He sleeps in our bedroom a lot (he's 10 so this is pretty old for this behavior, but we are mostly fine with it if he needs it). He made a little nest in the corner that he comes and piles into. He is a very sensitive child and doesn't have a lot of friends. He really does have a huge zest for life - it's not like he acts depressed or unhappy - but he wants to be with me, and be touching me, and talking to me - so much of the time. Part of me suspects it is a "rebound" effect from my years of drinking in the evening when I would tell him to go upstairs (so I could drink in peace before bed, right...?!) and he didn't get the nurturing he needed from me. I view this as the universe's way of putting in kids a sensor that allows them to tell when there is an opportunity to improve an attachment. So I am going with it. Eventually, this kiddo will hit puberty and my window for this sort of repair from the childhood years will close.

This window has already closed with Challenger13, who is also very difficult for me to support, but for different reasons. Actually, if Challenger were my only one, I think at this point he and I would do OK most of the time. We are very similar in the way we think about things. However, my husband and I both were so dismissive of both boys (but Challenger moreso and for longer) at times (again, me partly due to drinking and partly due to my baggage), and so Challenger is quite closed off from his more tender feelings. A couple days ago he cried about something (not being able to make brownies after 9pm, if you're really curious), and I nearly jumped for joy (don't worry, I restrained myself). That is so rare for him to show that kind of vulnerability these days. My therapist keeps reassuring me that my changing behavior can still provide Challenger (and Creator) with better emotional strategies and skills, even though I flubbed up royally for most of their lives.

As parents, I know we do the best we can. I'm not beating myself up about this by laying it all out here (I hope it doesn't come across that way), and although I have moments of guilt and self-flagellation, I am working through them. I know that I can only do what I can to be a present, supportive parent that still provides firm, reasonable boundaries. (that's the toughest one when you are also trying to be empathetic - damn it!).
I think that, taken in total, the above paragraphs explain that, emotionally, I am giving my all with my family, and I'm just feeling worn out. It's like the way my muscles feel after lifting weights. It doesn't mean I'll never lift again, but I need to not stay in the weight room 24/7. LOL.

And lastly, the things I just shared probably are the source of the urges I had yesterday to drink wine as well as seek out some comfort food. I was able to ride out these cravings (a craving is not a command) without too much effort, but effort was definitely required. I wonder what feeling in particular leads straight to the "wanna sit on couch with wine". I have some work to do to pick at this idea, but in general it's something about feeling "enough is enough" or "everybody leave me alone" or "I just want to veg out" or "please god make everyone go away". This FASCINATES me - not the wine/junk food desires, but because I have hardly been around anyone!!!! I mean, yes, I've been back and work and socially a bit every day, but nothing like the number of people I'll be around once classes start up. Apparently even seeing a few people every day is difficult for me! Being alone all summer was like a balm to me. Now my introverted self is freaking out a bit and feeling sorry for itself and wanting to nurse a bottle of wine (or at least some ice cream!) when it finally gets home and can put its feet up.

PersonalLearning
I enjoyed this article - this man's journey is quite similar to my own blood sugar journey. Indeed, even the types of exercise that he does seem to be the same as what is best for my own blood sugar control as well.https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health ... y-diabetes
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Soprano
Posts: 674
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by Soprano » Sat Sep 07, 2019 6:31 am

Thanks for the article link, my glucose reading was top of the green in June 18. I was supposed to go back a year later but with moving kept putting it off but am now registered with a new Doctor so should probably get it read again.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

automatedeating
Posts: 4008
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: automated eating tracker

Post by automatedeating » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:28 pm

Soprano - of course you know what I'll say, right? :mrgreen: I recommend you buy a blood glucose monitor and start experimenting. Mainly get your fasting blood glucose first thing in the morning - maybe every day for a week or every other day for 2 weeks. That should give you a good sense of that number. The harder part is testing after meals. Choose a typical lunch and a typical dinner. Test right before you eat, then 1 hour, 2 hours and 3 hours after. I think you use the mmol/yes? Anyway aim for no more than a 2 mmol change from pre-meal to post meal. That's about 35 mg/dL.
If your numbers are borderline high, of course you can tweak the content of the meals, but another thing that has helped me a lot is going on a walk 30 min after I finish eating. It has made a significant blunting of the post-meal spike.
OK, sorry can't help myself this is my fav topic.

Saturday, Sept. 7
122.0
FBG: 98

Eating
B: coffee w/milk, bacon & eggs
L: yogurt w/berries, one bite of hubby's 95% dark chocolate (yuck, sorry no likey)
D: giant salad with steak
decaf coffee w/half&half
dessert: chocolate bar w/ the dark chocolate peanut butter (BG: 112 then went on walk - down to 94!)

Moving
14K steps is the goal. Kind of funny to look at it that way, but the fitbit is changing the way I think about my moving.
I also really prioritize walking AFTER meals and moving EVERY hour, both fun things the fitbit tracks.
Took a long walk w/HappyHerder today - to and from the dog park
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3; 8/14-24.5; 5/15-26.2; 1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6; 8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9; 3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8; 1/19-23.4; 2/19-22.7; 3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8

Post Reply