Everyday Systems

kccc

This has been asked a lot lately, so forgive a short answer. If it tastes sweet, it's a "sweet." Read the No-S home page all the way through - that will help. And go to the podcasts, and read/listen to the one on "strictness." The issue is re-training habits and taste buds, and you can't do that if ...

kccc

Kevin, You did the right thing to delete. Never regret an impulse to be kind rather than nasty. If you must err, err on the side of openness and kindness. Clearly, Jessica is totally off-base and incorrect in her assessment of No-S. Just as clearly, her ability to evaluate is warped through her own ...

kccc

Hmm... I don't care for the word "denial" in this context. The connotations are wrong. Self control, boundaries, limits, or moderation all work better for me.T Those are all good things. Denial has overtones of not accepting reality, or punitive strictness, or something. So, I just wouldn't say it t...

kccc

Jessica, First, let me say that I'm sorry for your past experiences, and I hope you have found something that works for you. You obviously have strong feelings, and spoke from a desire to help. However, I don't think what you were doing is really No-S. There may be some superficial similarities, but...

kccc

The short answer is anything you want that fits on one plate. :) The longer answer is something you like and keep you full until lunch. I have found that I eat a little more protein on No-S than I used to. Here are some typical breakfasts for me if that will help. YMMV. I always have 1-2 cups of caf...

kccc

In addition to the great ideas, think about what else you might be wanting. Part of the vending machine attraction for me was just an excuse to get up from my desk for a minute. So, I find other excuses - even just a "walk around the building." Small breaks are okay. :) So, if it's a "treat" you nee...

kccc

Check in while I'm at the conference. Breakfast - WW mini-bagel, cheese, banana (I found a convenience stores) Two lattes during the morning. (Colder here than I'm used to.) Lunch - Tuscan salad - greens, mozzarella, tomatoes, basil, balsamic vinaigrette, plus a slice of bread. Dinner - Chicken/spin...

kccc

Karina, As hard as it is, focus on habits and not immediate results. Don't worry about what you put on during Easter weekend. Worry about sticking to No-S the week after. My S days were pretty wild at first. Still can be, if I'm stressed. The difference is that (a) they gradually got better on their...

kccc

Tiffani, you're right. I think this way of eating naturally draws you to healthier foods. But not as rules, as routines. (I think of the latter as much more flexible, and growing more naturally out of what-you're-doing-anyway.) Right now, I'm at a conference for the whole week. No-S is both harder a...

kccc

My advice: Don't mess with sugar free. First, you KNOW that stuff is bad for you. More importantly, it undercuts the very habits you are trying to build. See the "Splenda" thread, or go back and read the No-S page from top to bottom - those both cover the topic. (And don't despair... you won't miss ...

kccc

Thanks - a good read.

kccc

Good for you! I too am finding foods that "aren't really that good." At the same time, I am allowing myself to enjoy smaller portions of truly decadent things that I DO like, but always ate with so much guilt that the enjoyment was diminished. On S days, I only bother with the good stuff. Quality, n...

kccc

Today is a frantic day, topping off a frantic week and leading into a frantic weekend. I still went to Yoga at lunch. The days I most want to tell myself "I don't have time" are the days I need it most. I am gradually learning that. (Not exactly No-S, but connected.) Oh, I DO have a No-S one... I wa...

kccc

Sinnie, I am finding that No-S is leading to a lot of other changes in my live. Not always easy, but incredibly positive. Having given up "food as comfort and source of pleasure," I am slowly uncovering "what else?". What else is fun, engaging, pleasurable, inspiring...? And the flip side... why do ...

kccc

No leftovers today... or rather, I froze them b/c I'm going to be out of town next week and want to leave my slightly-kitchen-impaired husband something he can make besides Mac-n-Cheese. I miss my leftovers. Backstop: Multigrain bagel and cheese. On the plus side, I bought a veggie tray for company ...

kccc

Interesting.

I keep a journal, which provides some of the same benefits you describe. But it isn't always convenient, and I'm toying with the idea of trying your system for a bit. Don't know if it's worth buying equipment and recording... Hm.

kccc

Karina, I think you won't miss the pudding/jello after a surprisingly short while. And you'll enjoy "the real deal" SO much more on S-days! A number of us have noticed that when we cut the quantity of sweets (and other "treat" foods) that we eat, we choose to eat better quality foods for our weekend...

kccc

Life stress has shot up lately, and I'm noticing that my S-days this last weekend were "junkier" as a result. The stress-eating habit is not gone...yet. Thank goodness for N-days, and enough practice that getting back to normal isn't even very hard. :) And thank goodness for S-days, so I can have so...

kccc

A few quick strategies... 1) Question your worry... What can I do about this? What is my underlying fear? What's the worst thing that could happen? Then what? Really engage and take a hard look. Odds are you're "awfulizing" (yes, a made-up word, but it captures that obsession with things that aren't...

kccc

Welcome and good luck!

kccc

My verdict? It's a sweet. Fake sweets are still sweets. I don't care how many calories it has - if it looks/tastes like a sweet, it's a sweet. The goal is to train your habits, which you don't do if you undermine them with stuff-that-looks-just-like-what-you're-trying-to-avoid. But I have some prett...

kccc

storm fox, that sounds great!

kccc

As Reinhard says, personalize, but be aware of adding "extra input." Question: Does your total intake add up to equal only 3 plates-worth of food? When I exercise at lunch, I do what I think of as a "divided meal." I pack exactly what I would for lunch on a non-exercise day, but allow myself to eat ...

kccc

I have just stumbled across a website on Positive Psychology, http://pos-psych.com/, and am enjoying it a lot. Thought you all might as well. Some big ideas that are relevant... a nice bit on habit management. Check out the link from the article to the prior one on self-regulation. And here's one on...

kccc

Karina, I'm a WW dropout/convert too. I actually made my WW lifetime goal... and then gained weight back. Twice. WW works, but it just takes more attention than I have. With No-S, I'm currently about 5 lbs under my WW goal (which I had deliberately set on the high end to have a little "wiggle room")...

kccc

10 pounds is a pretty good victory, I'd say.

And the habit-training is even better. Congrats!

kccc

S-days are "calming down" a bit. Saturday was sort of an "N-day with a treat." I've heard of other folks doing that, but that hasn't always been my pattern. I usually take FULL advantage of my S-days. Sunday was a bit more junk-laden, but again, at a level that was better-than-past-history. And gett...

kccc

Hexagon,

Just wondering how you were doing, and wishing you well.

kccc

http://pos-psych.com/news/senia-maymin/20070301137

You can quote that in your next article, Reinhard.

Which, btw, I am waiting for <tapping foot impatiently>. I assume it's Autodidact output, and I'm very interested in your methods for that.

kccc

A good week, with one failure - a handful of nuts as I was preparing dinner the other night. Technically, I could "virtual plate" them, but I really think it was a snack. Oh well. Other than that, a good week.

And it's an S-day tomorrow. I am enjoying considering my options. Only the good stuff.

kccc

Hmm... I think my "cast of characters" somewhat maps onto the TA categories. With the "Internal Critic" as parent, since I had a very critical mother and became self-critical as a result. It's a habit I'm unlearning, since I don't want to pass it to the next generation. :) Rose, I hope you find a wa...

kccc

Sometimes weird to see your own progress, as a post from months back re-surfaces... I totally love my yoga class, and it IS a surprisingly good workout - definitely "weight-bearing exercise" for the arms, which is good. On the weekends, I walk. During the week, I do yoga 2-3x, do "mini-walks" (sever...

kccc

I have always had the habit of eating for comfort too... but am learning to find other ways to comfort myself. It is a very liberating concept, and has made my world much better. Eating for comfort is an attempt to take care of yourself - though a mis-guided one, with its own costs. To develop other...

kccc

You GO! :) I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing. Can't wait to hear when you reach your NEXT 21 days! PS - a celebration doesn't have to be food-oriented. I am finding that, as I give up food to comfort/nurture myself, I'm identifying other things that give me pleasure. Indulge in something ...

kccc

Storm fox, I think you're wise to "stick to fundamentals." I'm a bit of a purist too. When I do make exceptions, I try to keep them small and pre-planned. For example, on the days I have lunch-time yoga I can eat the fruit from my lunch before class if I want. Same lunch I pack on non-yoga days, but...

kccc

Success yesterday. Looking good today.

kccc

A related thought from Flylady, on dealing with general clutter, especially "stuff someone gave me that I really don't want or like that much": You can keep the love, and still let the stuff go. (What a freeing idea!) Cake and other goodies often fall into the "stuff from someone else that I don't w...

kccc

Two S-days, which were No-S-like except (a major "except") for the PB cookies I made and ate over two days. Before No-S, it would have been one. ;) I'm liking the feeling that I am training my habits. Even the "failures" include less food than a binge used to, and the "off" days are more reasonable....

kccc

Welcome. No-S is a really sane way of eating, and this board is really supportive. I would suggest that you either 1) Do No-S exactly as prescribed for 21 days (including no sweets on non-S days - wait until your S-days for those) or 2) Phase in all three No-S habits until you have them all, and the...

kccc

Hexagon, Just a couple of memories sparked by your post...sharing in hopes that they resonate a little with you. I first lost weight in my early 20's, and was astonished and angered by the amount of male attention I suddenly got. I felt like "well, I was the same person 30 pounds ago, but wasn't wor...

kccc

Maybe so, Kevin. I don't usually track online, and had gotten to the point where I thought "negative tracking" was good enough. But... even though Reinhard recommends it after having reached stability in an endeavor... I don't like it. It focuses on the negative. Of course, maybe I'm feeling this wa...

kccc

On the original topic, as a non-computer-programmer I was intrigued by your comments on naming conventions and how a boring convention can be more useful than a striking unique name.

Any tips for those of us who don't normally use naming conventions in our daily life?

kccc

Reinhard, congrats on #2! :) How wonderful! I have often wished we'd had another... though my husband and I feel blessed to have our son at all. (Long story short, after multiple tries/losses, we gave up when I turned 40... and then, a happy surprise. Life is just amazing sometimes.) But yeah, with ...

kccc

Jent... I "layered" when starting too. Actually, the "no snacking" was the hardest for me. I was so used to BOTH a morning and an afternoon snack that I almost had a panic attack at the idea of skipping them. For the first week, I allowed myself one piece of fruit or a vegetable "if I really needed ...

kccc

The other thing that goes well is Flylady (if you can get past the cute factor, which is rather high). I found GTD works extremely well for projects, but didn't work for housework and similar kinds of work. In housework, any individual task takes 2 minutes... but you could work yourself into total e...

kccc

My online confession stopped yesterday's binge. And today was better. :) Dinner was an easy recipe that we all like... the "Terrific Tower of Tortillas" Mix together: 1 can pinto beans (plain ones, no seasonings added) 1 can corn (I prefer frozen, so guestimate the amount) 1 cup salsa, whatever "hea...

kccc

Milczar, I so totally hear you. I did lose weight on WW, but it took SO much attention. And I could NOT maintain on it. Just couldn't... the pounds would creep back on, and I'd feel like a failure. And I'd feel overwhelmed at the thought of going back "on program" because it took SO much energy. Now...

kccc

Steve, I do GTD as well, and really like it. Well, more accurately, I mostly do it, and am gradually getting better. The more I do it, the better life is.

Reinhard's systems are tremendously compatible, and the general notion of "habit building" is one I find very powerful.

Enjoy your comments.

kccc

I don't generally run a check-in thread, because I usually follow the rules pretty well. But today I didn't, and I want to get back on track FAST. So I am posting in the belief that "admitting failure is the first step to containing it." The culprits: I have a trail mix in the house that I love. Tec...

kccc

The more I can find "self-care" that does not involve food, the better I do. And yes, it's harder when I'm stressed. I currently am doing Reinhard's "punch card" system. Writing down "No-S" as a daily goal helps me - I loooove crossing off those "done" items. Putting down "exercise" works the same w...

kccc

Hexagon, Like you, "my genes are against me." Overweight (and the associated ills) run rampant in my family. Add middle-age-metabolic-slowdown to that, and the result is that it is VERY hard to lose. I noted that you posted this at the same time that you posted about struggling with No-S, and I'm wo...

kccc

Well, it's been a little over a month now with my "blue card" system. (I'm using blue for my daily cards.) I'm getting more done. I've stopped stressing over "all I have to do" and started focusing on what matters most. Definitely a keeper. It helps me focus and not be overwhelmed with all the tasks...

kccc

Flora, I absolutely agree. Oddly... cooking real food takes more time. That's a common complaint/excuse for not eating healthy food. BUT limiting "eating as a default activity" makes discretionary time more noticeable and MUCH more available. I'm certainly willing to spend some of it cooking. (I act...

kccc

Very good point, Sue. Also, J Ellis, I like your "concrete ways to interpret sometimes ". Very sensible approach, and I may borrow it. Sue, my current intermediate approach to "sometime" is to tell myself "I can have anything I want, but only if I really do want it." That "check in" helps me eat mor...

kccc

Welcome! This is a plan that really works... and a very supportive group.

kccc

Well, I still did "want" a good bit yesterday. ;) Which was totally okay - as someone said in another thread, S-days are about easing up so that you can be strict on N-days. And it's okay to be "a little stupid." My "be mindful" re-phrasing is not about restricting S-days further, b/c I know I need ...

kccc

The common-sense approach of "don't be an idiot" is refreshing... but sometimes hard for me to implement. A lot of my S-days ARE pretty idiotic (still), which I haven't worried about (much) b/c I stay pretty on-target on N-days. They've been getting better gradually, but I would like to get to the p...

kccc

I can't answer the poll as written. It's both restrictive and unclear. But I'll be happy to tell you what we do. My family just joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. Prior to this recent decision, we had not attended any church regularly in our 16 years of marriage (really not since we'd left ...

kccc

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's an S-day. You are allowed to have what you want today, with no guilt. It's better if you can "not be an idiot" (which I have recently translated for myself as "if you think you want it, slow down and really taste it"), but sometimes you just have what you want. ...

kccc

Joel--talk about complexity! I live alone with a tiny kitchen. Making 3 types of food, thinking about fractions of the plate, thinking about lean protein and complex carbohydrates, oh my god that seems complex. Maybe it's all second nature to you, but not to me. As I said, I'm having a hard enough ...

kccc

I agree that protein and complex carbs rule. :) And I also follow the same plan J Ellis does, with "plate divisions": 1/2 fruit/veg, 1/4 protein, 1/4 carbs (preferably complex). Of course, this has flexibility. A big serving of beans'n'rice with salad on the side will hold me most of the day. You ca...

kccc

Good for you!!

kccc

Very eloquent. And it really resonates... I too find the No-S a way of "making peace with food."

Everything tastes better without the side order of guilt.

kccc

I like the idea of mindful eating, especially on S-days.

Not that I can't have whatever-I-think-I'm-craving. Just that I need to notice that I had it.

Thanks, wosnes. I think that single change might be very powerful for me.

kccc

Welcome! This is a great group, and the sanest "diet" I've ever seen.

kccc

zoolina, I so relate to your post. I also just had a few failures in a row (well, a mid-week S was in there too). The scale zoomed up. I am trying not to look, and just get back to habits. Sharing in case some of this is relevant to you... When I am stressed, I eat. With an "I deserve this! So there...

kccc

milczar wrote:I guess I just overeat on s days. I was just wondering how other peoples s days look, maybe a sample menu.

I overeat on S-days too. That's what they're for. So I don't on N-days.

They are gradually getting better on their own. I'm letting them alone, and concentrating on N-days.

kccc

I am quite taken with the notion of "intelligent defaults" (dietary or otherwise). Not the choices you HAVE to make every single day, but the choices when there's no other really wonderful choices on the horizon. Can we start a thread on "intelligent defaults"? Mostly dietary, but feel free to throw...

kccc

Pangelsue, what a GREAT post. ITA that No-S is helping me "make peace with food." And everything tastes so much better without a side order of guilt. :) I am losing weight, but ve-ery slowly. At one point I was exasperated (there's a thread here somewhere from that time). Now, I accept that as part ...

kccc

I like this podcase. I have "default meals" too - particularly for lunch and breakfast. Since I get bored, I have a handful that I rotate. (And one is oatmeal, lol!)

Really like the computer analogies - works very well. I wish we used more "intelligent defaults" in a LOT of places!

kccc

"Everyday is fresh, with no mistakes in it." Anne of Green Gables :) So is every PART of a day. You can start over any time. Instead of beating yourself up, celebrate every success. At the end of each day, look for five accomplishments (no matter HOW small) in the day. The kid thing is hard - I only...

kccc

If you're going to do No-S, you'll have to accept a certain "two steps forward one step back" rhythm. I weigh daily, but "count" my Friday weight (which is generally the lowest) as "official." Concentrate on building the habit, not the scale. Read or listen to the podcast on "strictness" - got a lot...

kccc

Cut-up banana (I make an open-face sandwich on the PB) Does that mean you cut the ends off and use them for eyes, then use the curvy bit left over for a smiley mouth? Oh, I've misunderstood again. I'm currently trying to retrain myself to eat breakfast earlier so I can have something decent instead...

kccc

My weight loss has been slower - about 10 pounds since October (that's about 2.5 lbs/month). However, that includes holidays (when I usually gain), bouts of no exercise (blame the holidays again) and some mitigating factors: I'm female, already close to ideal weight, and old enough for my metabolism...

kccc

Interesting on the 3-6 months to change behavior bit. I've been on No-S since mid-October, so that's about 4 months now. And I'm just now hitting weekends where I don't binge AT ALL. During that time, my "binges" came down to levels that wouldn't previously have registered as such - really not huge ...

kccc

I plan menus by the week - sort of. I usually plan 5 entrees, plus I have a selection of "pantry meals" that I can always fill in with as needed (weekends, etc.). And it has some flex - I may switch Monday and Tuesday's meal or something like that. Lunches are generally leftovers, plus I keep some s...

kccc

Mine may be a little smaller than other meals - but only a little. I usually just eat the same old thing for breakfast, until I get sick of one food and start something new. Current fave: Whole wheat bread, toasted, spread with PB Cut-up banana (I make an open-face sandwich on the PB) Cafe au lait -...

kccc

Thank you for sharing this. The way she uses "greed" reminds me of "attachment" in some zen podcasts I listen to. Hadn't thought of wanting the scale to move as "greedy," but I can see the concept. Also like the notion of experiencing the stress/discomfort, acknowledging. Again, it has some zen qual...

kccc

I decided to give your punch-card system a try. It was really, really close to what I did anyway... I've done "Habits of the Month" for years, and make a daily list of stuff, which I generally divided into work and self/home. (I liked specifically breaking those out into three categories, btw. I thi...

kccc

I do the plate divisions method - 1/2 plate veggies (maybe fruit too), 1/4 lean protein, 1/4 whole-grain starch.

If you pile, pile on the veggie side. Then it's good for you.

kccc

Lol! Thought you were a guy too, but one who could cook (from your crockpot recipes -thanks, btw!) How long have you been doing No-S? Took me a while to be okay with the 3 meals routine, b/c I was used to regular snacks. REALLY used to snacks. Had to wean off of them. So, if it hasn't been 21 days, ...

kccc

I would really re-examine the "have to" eat out idea. At-home food in inherently SO much healthier than eating out. Even if you can't use a kitchen at your inlaws, surely there's a fridge somewhere? At my work, they have a fridge and microwave. If you have even that much, here are simple menu ideas ...

kccc

I love the party idea... and now I want to know all five colors/faults. :) Worrying seems like a "long-term problem" to me. Not sure that it's amenable to simple solutions. More like housework - you need a "collection" of simple strategies. Some for me... - Attend to basic physical health. I worry m...

kccc

I really love your podcasts. Your tone is just right - like listening to a thoughtful, articulate friend thinking aloud. This particular one reminds me of a sig line I used to use (no memory of where I stole it from): Everything in moderation. Including moderation. Which is the point behind the S-da...

kccc

I had some initial success, then I also "stalled out" in terms of the scale -- despite following No-S pretty well. Of course... I stalled over the holidays, which had more-than-usual S-days. AND my exercise routine was also quite disrupted. Once I acknowledged those circumstances, staying the same a...

kccc

One thing I am genuinely surprised no-one has mentioned is using a crock pot. I come home from work tired and hungry. But after a decent meal (which has often been simmering in my crock pot all day), I'm a little more refreshed. I would say that at least three evenings out of the week, I'll set up ...

kccc

Huge meals are okay. I also found upping the protein helped.

Your body will adjust, and the lizard-brain panic will subside.

If you're fairly new, this particular podcast on strictness might help (linking to text version). It's my personal favorite.

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kccc

Right now, as I admitted in a previous post, I'm stalled out on exercise, and stalled out on weight loss as a result. (Though I'm not gaining, thanks to No-S.) My normal routine is 3+ hours of cardio/week, which varies - some aerobic classes, some walking. I also stretch a lot throughout the day. Be...

kccc

This has been a really helpful thread. I too have been feeling like Sisyphus - losing the same 2 pounds over and over. That's been going on since early December, even though I've been quite good about No-S. I've accepted that this diet has a certain two-steps-forward-one-back rhythm to it, but two-s...

kccc

Remember, this is a WAY OF EATING. Don't let it make you too miserable, or you won't do it. My personal call would be wine is okay, one cup of coffee WITH breakfast is definitely okay. The only thing I'd consider iffy is coffee outside a meal. YMMV. DO read the No-S pages and listen to the podcasts....

kccc

Congrats on a major milestone!!!

kccc

Your initial post sounds a lot like mine! I lost on WW, but can't maintain on it - takes too much attention.

I think you'll find this is a very sane way of eating, with or without the addition of Shovelglove.

Welcome.

kccc

Red wine is okay as long as it's a reasonable amount. I usually have a glass of wine most evenings (though I like white more). :) As for coffee... to me that's a gray area. I don't count my morning cup (up to 2) but don't allow more. (Mine is Cafe au Lait made with 1/2 cup milk plus sugar.) I guess ...

kccc

Lol!

The audience goes wild! Another hit suspense movie from an indie producer.

Can't wait to read the book.

Congrats on your success!!

kccc

donnao1965, just for you... Today's menu: Breakfast Cafe au lait (see prior post) Scrambled eggs (2) 1 piece whole wheat toast (I make a half-sandwich with the eggs. Childhood comfort food.) OJ Lunch - Baguette slice cut in half and toasted with cheese on top (pretty good size - about 4 inches bread...

kccc

Milczar, I totally agree with you. I've done diets. I've even lost with them. I've even kept the weight off a long time... but only when I've done SANE lifestyle changes.

This is the sanest I've found.

kccc

Rosemary - no, I haven't. (Though I googled him after reading your post. What I found was interesting, and fairly compatible with my own belief systems. Particularly this (from a description of "The Mark"): It discusses, in relation to the Gospels, the idea that real religion is about another man, l...

kccc

Sounds like the author had an extreme case of... (what to call it? food-medicated depression?) to be stealing granola... but I remember eating my roomies' cookies in college, when my eating/weight was most out of control. (I would replace them, though.) And I've eaten my way through depression more ...

kccc

Have to agree, the military metaphor doesn't work for me either. (I'm an army brat, btw, but would never join up myself.) Like the "coach" idea best. Wouldn't mind the "computer" metaphor, but not sure how many would relate to that. (Wonder what other metaphors might work?) In its simplest form, it'...

kccc

I have been allowing my S days to be pretty unstructured, b/c I felt I needed a "safety valve". At least at first, I needed to know I could have XYZ on the weekends if I wanted it. ("If"? Hah!) Yes, that's made for some wild S-days. Yes, I could have lost weight faster if I'd been more restrictive. ...

Everyday Systems

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Cool website (sort of related to No-S)

Some psychology underpinnings for habit management

KCCC check-in

Redefining "Don't be an idiot"

Intelligent Dietary Defaults (add yours!)

Re: Home Cooked Meals