What it used to be like and what it is like now...

[JillyBean]

In another thread Rose wrote:

After more than a year, I can say there are no hard days anymore - or at least, no weekly recurring hard days. Following the rules is not difficult, it's automatic, at least as long as I am in good health and in a familiar environment.

There were some recurring hard days at first (friday) but since those were recurring, it was not too difficult to experiment with them week after week and devise ways to make them easier (get busy, distract yourself with something, proactively eat a slightly bigger dinner, have a glass of water close by...)

There are some days which are uncomfortable (headache, tiredness etc). Before No-S I would have medicated myself with chocolate. Now, it's a little annoying to know that I have to find another way to endure those days. Or rather, I have to find a way period. No-S taught me that chocolate is actually inefficient. I know that even if I ate chocolate, it would go away for perhaps 30' then come back and I would want chocolate again. That's not worth destroying my habits.

There are also some days when my usual routine is disturbed and I struggle not to fall back into earlier (bad) habits. I think learning to make No-S effortless in every situation is a lifelong process.

Thank you, Rose, for sharing this. I was just asking someone else to share what it used to be like when first starting and what it is like now. I think maybe I am coming down from my "pink cloud" and as I am settling in to this "new" way of living, I am wondering what my future will actually be like. I wonder, when I read posts of "old-timers" if they/you (depending on who's reading this) were like those of us that are very new to this. Am I one of the ones that will someday maybe eat a small piece of chocolate on Saturday after dinner and be totally satisfied? I think the OA mentality is lingering and I am a little afraid still that this is just too good to be true. Is this possible for me?

For those of you that have been doing this for a year or more (and sound so sane and settled now), I humbly ask you to share what you were like before. Did you used to binge? Did you snack all day? Was sugar a regular part of your day? Were you overweight and are you now at a healthy weight?

What was it like before and what is it like now?

[kccc]

Jill,

THEN:

I maintained my weight for years through an "armed truce" with food. Food was "bad" or "good." Even when I ate things that tasted good to me, if they were "bad" I couldn't enjoy them - no matter what I ate.

My sugar consumption would periodically get out of control (sometimes after long periods of being reasonable, sometimes not), and I'd have to reign it in through "sugar detox" interventions. (I don't LIKE how my body feels when I get out of control on sugar, but it's hard to avoid.)

I did binge a lot, especially under stress. There's a lot of stress in my life.

After my son was born and my metabolism slowed, I had trouble losing weight and developed a sense of desperation. That was stressful - and led to a downward spiral as far as binge/feel guilty/diet. I did do WW, and it worked, but I couldn't maintain on it and the counting made me crazy.

NOW
- I no longer have sugar detoxes, because I don't need them.
- I enjoy my food. It is not "good" or "bad," though there are certainly more-or-less healthy choices. But a SMALL amount of absolute junk won't derail me forever. (And my treat food is of MUCH better quality.)
- I have found that I used food to avoid addressing other issues in my life, sometimes things as basic as "what do I want to do now?". I am doing much better addressing those issues directly, which it has increased my general quality of life.

My N-days are pretty firmly in place. It is a RELIEF. I don't agonize over snacks. A box of cookies can stay in the pantry, unopened, for over a week. (Or opened with just a few out.) It's so automatic I don't even feel deprived at the fancy snack buffet at a work event - I'm not hungry, so I don't need to eat. It's not mealtime. And it's not a problem.

I'm still working on S-day excess (life is stressful, and I still have issues with "but it's allowed today!"). However, that's getting better, and I can absolutely see real progress since I began. I'm going in the right direction.

I hope this helps you. I'm a "believer."

[BrightAngel]

I think maybe I am coming down from my "pink cloud"
and as I am settling in to this "new" way of living,
I am wondering what my future will actually be like.
Am I one of the ones that will someday maybe
eat a small piece of chocolate on Saturday after dinner and be totally satisfied?
I think the OA mentality is lingering
and I am a little afraid still that this is just too good to be true.

Just Jill
When I was active in OA,
any kind of "Food Plan" (i.e. Diet) was acceptable,
and sticking to the rules of that "Food Plan" (i.e. Diet) was termed Abstinance.
The OA goal is Abstinance one-day-at-a-time for life.
The No S Diet is a "Food Plan", and strictness in it (as is recommended by Reinhard) would be Abstinance.
Therefore, your former OA mentality might actually be of help to you in following No S.

[rose]

Am I one of the ones that will someday maybe eat a small piece of chocolate on Saturday after dinner and be totally satisfied?

I was there last autumn. It was a chocolate pastry rather than a small piece of chocolate, but it was enough S-ness for the day. Then Winter arrived and with it a lot of personal issues and I am back to square one regarding S-days - I have to learn not to be an idiot all over again. I should perhaps have written in the other thread that for me the S-days are the harder part of No-S right now. But all in all it's not all that hard actually, it's just that there is an excess of some kind every weekend and it gets old fast.
N-days are actually easy now because there is no need to pay much attention to them. The worst that can happen is that I eat a little too much at lunch and feel uncomfortably full in the afternoon.
S-days are trickier because you can't fail them whatever you do. So when things get rough you can have setbacks (on the don't be an idiot front) if you don't pay enough attention to what you eat.

[trytrytry]

Hi Jill
I've been noSing for about 11 days only so I know I am not a person you would like to see an answer from. So all I can try to contribute is a little optimism that I started to develop in this time.

Since before Easter I've been eating sweets every day and couldn't stop. I kepts saying to myself - "just make it one day no chocolate, one day please!!!" And I kept failing.

I started no S, and got three red days as a start.. Needless to say - someone brought chocolate to work on days 1 and 2, someone brought cake to work on day 3. Then it was friend's birthday - more cake and finally Saturday, when I overstuffed myself, and Sunday - a relatively good Sday with a piece of cake as the only sweet treat.
All those days (but Saturday), I did keep to three meals otherwise, no seconds. And I was starving in between.

And then it started getting better. My little successes:

Someone brought cake on Monday, it looked really nice and I was concerned I'll slip, but I made it - took a piece home and it's sitting in the freezer. My first green!!!

Then I had to stay up whole (literally whole) Wednesday night. I was thinking whole evening - there is no way I'll make it. I'll have to have a snack, I will be starving. I've never managed not to have a snack in that situation, and usually it would be sweets of course to keep me going. But I didn't even feel like I was hungry!!! It was really weird for me.

Then I came to work on Tuesday and - surprise, surprise - new chocolate - but I actually genuinely didn't feel like I needed a piece (even though it was one of my favorites). It was lying in front of me an I didn't feel tempted!!! Really rare for me.

And then finally today - I went to a little celebration at work, lots of snacks and chocolate: I didn't have any and I actually didn't feel like I wanted them, which was for me a bit of a shock (everyone around me eating and me being fine about it?!!!). I took a piece of GU for tomorrow, because it's something I've really wanted to taste for a long time. But I am happy to have it tomorrow, not today.

I am not saying it is always easy for me now. Not at all. I don't know how I will behave tomorrow on an Sday. I don't know how long I will last.
But:
- I am less hungry between the meals.
- I do find myself in situations when I would always eat before and not only I don't, but I don't struggle.
- I do catch myself a lot (A LOT) thinking - out of habit - I'll get myself a snack now (especially that I was working from home for a couple of days - fridge just there in front of me), remembering noS, and realizing it is a habit pushing me more than actual hunger or a craving.
- I think because I don't feel like I can't have chocolate ever if I want to get thinner and I know I can have sweets on the weekend I actually want them less.

Somehow, psychologically it is slowly starting to click. It will be a process, I am sure I will keep having difficult moments, but the little things that have happened make me feel way more encouraged than I was when I started.

Anyways, probably my post is way too long, but I think I just feel so surprised with myself that I don't ALWAYS need to snack. And I am definitely not a person who normally (ever?) used to say no when food is being offered. And the only reason I found out about noS, because I had an awful binge one morning and started googling for a solution. So now time will show whether I have or have not really found one... But I very much hope so.

[trytrytry]

oh boy, that was long...

[fkwan]

You probably don't want to hear from me either, only a two month person, especially one who is going to say the same thing, but I presume someone a year later is doing and saying the same things.

BEFORE I couldn't walk away from a sweet. Period. Couldn't...do...it.

BEFORE I couldn't say no to food in front of me at stress situations, such as work.

BEFORE I couldn't go whole days or weeks without thinking about food ALL THE TIME.

BEFORE I was always bloated.

BEFORE my arthritis hurt waaay more than it does now.

I haven't binged in 40 days.

I can't bear to eat later than 1800 at night and I don't get hungry until about 0930 in the morning.

I don't really want sweets. I had ONE tablespoon of caramel sauce in my oatmeal this morning and it tasted like crap.

They had breakfast tacos at work today and I walked right past them. It probably helps because I am a vegan and am morally opposed to certain kinds of food as well as not being able to eat them out of habit, so I have a double psychological whammy in my favor.

I don't think about food at least half or maybe 2/3 as much.

My bad arthritis days are decreasing.

And last but not least, except for this stupid menopause water weight that won't go away, I'm no longer bloated.

AND MY HUSBAND SAYS MY BUTT IS SHRINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a whole new universe.

f