A "Habit" Question

jennyp · Post by **jennyp** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 11:04 pm

For those of you who've gone the 21 days...when do you feel like you have a new habit?

(Also, do you only count N-days for the 21 days?)

So far, after today, I'll have completed 10 N-days and am so completely happy. But I am in no way near the mindset of this new habit I'm trying to create. Like I think about sweets or snacks (those are my problem areas) pretty much all the time. I'm a very determined person so I'm not acting on my thoughts, but I sure think about it a lot! But I was just wondering if your thoughts change after 21 days or even 4 weeks.

I'm really looking forward to this new habit! I have binging issues and I know this is the fix! I'm just very excited to not think like I do now. I feel like I obsess over food way to much. Its kind of a sad deal.

Thanks for your comments.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:17 am

ALL days count for the 21 days -- not just N days.

As for new habits, I think 21 days is just the start, though thoughts begin to change after 21 days. I thought it took substantially longer for the habits to really become habits. I'm talking months.

mel1974c · Post by **mel1974c** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:20 am

Hi Jennyp,

For 21 club, you count 3 full weeks - N days and S days. I am now into my 4th month of No-S. Interestingly, I didn't have my first red day until I was in my 3rd month.

For myself, eating only 3 meals without snacking during the week is fairly easy, so perhaps it has become habit. But I still crave sweets during the week. but, like you, I am determined and don't want to mark a red day on my calendar. I gave in 2 times so far. Both times after stressful days. But each time, I ate 2 cookies. I am not really a binger. In the past, I may have binged a handful of times, but it wasn't really my thing. But I loved my baked goods and candy everyday.

So my thoughts haven't really changed, but my desire to mark the day green usually wins over my desire for the sweet treats.

Best of luck to you! Keep up the great work.
Melissa

howfunisthat · Post by **howfunisthat** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:48 pm

I've always been a snacker...a BIG snacker....a uncontrolled snacker...ugh...

I think the 21-day mark for me was terrific...I don't think all my bad habits were gone...but I realized that I could do this. My habits were changing....and I found that incredibly encouraging....the second 21 days were even better for me...and it continues to just get better & better...

Congrats on your 10 days!

janie

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:53 pm

for me 21 days was a great start,

however, i beleive that for me, it will take a good two years to develop a REAL No S HABIT, why so long?

1. i have a forty year plus habit of binging and restricting, that is my default eating pattern when i am stressed or at the other end very relaxed, i don't realistically believed that 21 days will override that, but it is a VERY GOOD start

2. Each year, season we go through certain "anniversary" occasions from national to religious holidays, each brings with them their own emotional and food situations, getting through each of these at least twice is helpful in developing and cementing new skills to "handle" them

3. Most of us also have personal "anniversaries" marriages, births, deaths, tragedies, traumas, loss, each of these anniversaries ALSO brings its own emotional and food baggage, once again, getting through these at least twice, helps cement the NEW habit

when i sobered up in my twenty's it was somewhere between the first year-and-a-half and second year that i stopped "thinking" about it, it had become something that I just was, i.e. someone who didn't drink,

at the same time if you look back to that point over 21 years ago you can see the TREMENDOUS and POSITIVE outcome that spread out into the next two decades of my life.

ALso it is clear when I look back that those first two years I was really hustling and learning and developing a lot of new skills to deal with my new habit of not drinking, it is the development of THOSE SKILLS to maintain the desired state that support the NEW HABIT and allow it to become a permanent one,

Blueskighs

jennyp · Post by **jennyp** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:32 pm

Thanks everyone!!! I was hoping for something magical to happen at day 21 (even though I know it won't)

What happens if you're an idiot on the weekend, does that mess up your countdown to 21 days? I was an idiot over the weekend and am feeling crappy about it! Kind of like it feels like I failed in my head, so if that's the case I'll mark it appropriately and move on, but I wanted to be sure I'm following everything correctly.

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:16 pm

What happens if you're an idiot on the weekend, does that mess up your countdown to 21 days?

Heavens NO

... THAT IS WHAT S DAYS ARE FOR

Blueskighs

Post by **reinhard** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:56 pm

"21 days" is obviously a crude simplification. Habit isn't a binary on/off thing, and everyone is going to take a slightly different amount of time to habituate depending on their nature and the state of their current habits.

But I think it's a useful simplification. It's a big enough number that you'll have built some real habit by the time you get there, and small enough to be attainably inspiring. Plus it has a certain aesthetic/numeralogical appeal. And it fits into a habitcal calendar month with some days to spare.

Reinhard