Epic Fail LONG (read at your own risk)

[toonces66]

Okay, so I am 4 days into this. But actually only two. Mon and Tues were awesome Wed was looking good until around 9pm when the dark chocolate peanut m&m's, I bought for Easter (an S Day), found their way into my feverish hands (really they just appeared) and were devoured. Then today, I thought I would start fresh and my husband's work colleague shows up with Krispy Kreme Donuts (still HOT!) So, I started my morning off with a couple of them (made my youngest two kids eat the rest) but still it all snowballed towards Hell from there. (Not kidding: it also involved a drive thru dairy queen and later some Trader Joe's cookies!!)

My backstory is that I am 4lbs over the top of my weight box. A term my dh coined. It's a 3 pound weight range where I feel most comfortable. I am almost 43 and am 5'7". I started my whole weight loss trek (I loathe the word journey) last year (exactly). I was using the free weight loss site Sparkpeople. But it relies on tracking calories eaten (food journal) and calories burned (exercise journal). I did that religiously for 6 months. By October of 2008 I reached the bottom of my goal 'weight box' of 135-138lbs. I hung out between 135 and 138 through February 2009. I was still tracking, though intermittently. The ONLY exercise I did was walking (on my own, or with my Siberian Husky). Everything was great.

Then I started creeping up and down: 139/140/141/139/140/142/141/140/142 ..you get the picture. But I just felt like I couldn't go back to calorie tracking. Reinhard is right, it's a pain in the a$$. And I did it for close to a year. So then, I figured I should go back to it. I lost 4lbs and got back to 138. This was a couple of weeks ago. Then I just got to busy to track everything on the computer and was back to 140...then 141 and 142! Ugh! So, last Sunday I was at Barnes & Noble looking for a nice Calorie/Exercise journal that I could keep with me instead of running to my Mac everytime I needed to track food. I spotted the No S book and skimmed it. Thought it sounded interesting, but since I had succeeded at losing my weight via calorie tracking I figured it was best to do what I knew. But it IS so flipping tedious! UGH!!!

So, I remembered that the No S book said it had a website and I googled it. I read the whole thing the next day...laughing and shaking my head in agreement. But, it seemed scary to me. And, hey, at least when I was counting calories I still had chips and sweets when I wanted, I just had a caloric limit I could not exceed. So, I thought, I have practiced self restraint and moderation for almost a year...I can do this. HOLY CRAP! After almost 3 days I flipped out and caved in....WHY? Reinhard is right that this is not a food game but a mental game. And I get so rebellious when something is completely forbidden. And I know things are really forbidden forever, just for 5 days. But 48 hours without a little chocolate clearly sent me into binge mode. WHY??? I NEED to do something that is workable for the rest of my life. Counting calories is going to get old...it already is. But not counting calories is scaring me too. I am afraid my 3 meals a day with none of the 3 esses are going to end up being more calorically dense than my calorie tracking days. But how do I outwit myself? How do I trust myself? How do I not get bored and fed up and risk gaining my 30 lost pounds back?

Can I say that having a 19 year old son, in college, who lives at home, and works at TRADER JOE'S (which sells the most wonderful snacks and sweets on the PLANET) doesn't make No S any easier! I know that Reinhard said that many folks would fail before they succeeded. I just didn't expect it so fast and intense. Why is it that something so brilliantly simple is screwing with my mind????

[Kathleen]

My husband calls it a "feeding frenzy".

This is something from a book I read:

“Weygandt finished his paperwork early and waited for the clock to strike nine. He sat peacefully on his stool behind the counter..Weygandt suddenly realized that his hand held a cookie. He looked down. His hand was moving of its own independent will. He was helpless to stop it. He shoved the cookie in his mouth. It tasted wonderful. He shoved two more cookies in his mouth. A sack of popcorn was also within reach and he ate that next. Finally, he ate two overripe bananas that he had been planning to throw in the trash on his way out the door. With a final swallow of gooey brown banana, Weygandt regained control of himself, and again looked at the Regulator clock. Just three minutes had passed.â€

I'm coming to the conclusion that the feeding frenzy is nothing more than the body's will to survive. It's a very natural reaction to restrictive eating.

My first four days on the diet were failures. Since then, I've had all successes -- although I tweaked the diet so that I could accumulate two Special Days per month to be used for whatever reason I want.

I restricted for 10 years successfully at 132 - 135. When I could no longer do it, I was already at 155. In six years, I got up to 215. Then last September I found No S.

You may gain weight on this diet, but you won't gain 70 pounds like I did. Read old posts and you'll find lots of "recovering point counters", people who successfully restricted for years and just couldn't do it anymore.

When I started, I spent a lot of time reading old posts, and it really helped. Blueskighs' posts were particularly helpful for me.

Kathleen

[marleah]

When I started, I had the same fears that my 3 meals wouldn't be enough calories or it would be too many calories, so I went ahead and tracked calories for my first week or two of No-S back in March. It turns out that you might have some huge calorie heavy plates in the beginning, when you are still getting the hang of it and making sure you won't get hungry in between, but that will pass. So - some of your meals might be more than you would have eaten, but some of them will end up being less than you would have had. And of course if you don't snack, you won't have THOSE calories on top of your meals. You do end up eating fewer calories overall just by that process of elimination, so you don't have to worry as much about exactly how many calories are in your meals.

It's a great plan and way easier than calorie counting. When I counted calories, then it would be a big hassle when I ate out to figure out how many calories I had consumed. Now it's so much easier - does it fit on one plate? Okey dokey.

[toonces66]

Kathleen and Marleah,

Thanks for your quick responses. I did count my calories along with my meals for the first 3 days of No S. 1- 1550, 2-1900, 3-1430....then all hell...ahem...m&ms broke loose. I figured cals would alternate. When I tracked my cals before I would cycle them. I always stayed in between 1200-1800 calories...but never the same more than 2 days in a row. So, I am cool with NO-S being that way. I think that is more reality anyway, eating different caloric levels per day in a given week. It's funny that there are people who are recovering point counters. Holy Smokes...Points (ala WW) totally freaked me out! I tried it very briefly. But I think that is even harder because then you need a calorie count book, a points calculator, and a food tracker to write it in. Yikes! Oh and I totally agree about trying to figure out the calories you eat when you eat out. Another nightmare.

The thing about me is that I am so freaked out about gaining back what I lost that I am scared about doing the wrong thing...kwim?

~Rachel

[brotherjohn]

Hello, and welcome, Rachel!

I am a recovering points counter. And the thing that I have come to realize is that whatever I do to lose weight, I have to be able to do it for the rest of my life. I can't count points for the rest of my life. I don't know anyone else who can, either. I used to lurk a WW bulletin board, and was always envious of a husband and wife who were great at points and weight loss. The woman kept the weight off maybe 5 years, and the man about 7, and then they "spit the bit" and gained weight.

Now, Rachel, I am a 6 foot tall man. I have just come to the realization that I can't live on much less than three plates of food a day. But, over the past (almost) 3 months I have learned that I CAN live on 3 plates of food a day, with 8 ounces of soy milk or juice between meals. Having a treat on S days makes it even more do-able.

So...I guess what I am saying is this: I've reached the point that I realize that 3 plates of food a day is about the minimum that I can live comfortably on and still live and thrive and prosper. So, whatever size I wind up is going to be the right size.

Why try eating your 3 plates of food a day, and make them good sized plates? I did that in the beginning, because I had this PHOBIA that I was going to get hungry and weak in between meals! After awhile I have started to make my meals smaller as my body has adapted and as I have learned the minimum I need to take me to the next meal. It DOES get easier!

By the way, I have lost 8 pounds since January 15th. So, I am losing, albeit slowly. I hope you will continue to be a part of our group. I really am convinced that No-S is the best way!

blessings,

John

[Kathleen]

It'll be OK.
Kathleen

[Blithe Morning]

Failure IS part of the process.

Part of the diet head mentality is that failure is a shameful thing that will totally derail us. This can happen but that doesn't HAVE to happen. If you keep failure an event instead of a value judgment, it's easier to get going again. I was on No S, got lax, and now I am back. Did I get off track? Yes. Did I stay off track? No. Did some of the habits I picked up while I was on No S stay with me? Yes.

Cut yourself some slack and - I mean this in a very kind way - get some perspective. It's two days. Just get back on track. In six months, you won't even remember those two days.

[brotherjohn]

Rachel,

Blithe Morning has hit the nail on the head. You entitled your post "Epic Fail". You can't have an "epic fail" after only 4 days! In fact, I'm not sure you can have an "epic fail" in No-S unless you quit trying!

your friend,

John

[winnie96]

Failure IS part of the process ... If you keep failure an event instead of a value judgment, it's easier to get going again.

Great words, Blithe! I am struggling a bit at the moment, and am so fearful of regaining, but I think it will be easier to get back on track if I view failure as an "event" instead of a "value judgment", which I have been doing. (Talk about negative self-talk! Gotta turn that ship around!)

Thank you! Big Help!

[la_loser]

From the sticky thread of No S Catch Phrase Glossary on the general No S discussion page, here are a few great lines that might help you accept failure and be able to "mark it and move on" as Vicki says:

Fall down seven times; get up eight. (from Iggy)

Just pick yourself up, dust off the crumbs and keep moving forward. (from HowFunIsThat)

And from the man himself-Reinhard says in the book and on the homepage:

Sometimes it takes a false start (or 12) . . . (see No S main page for rest of this passage). . .So quit dawdling and get some failures under your belt!

Or Try Winston Churchill: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

Most of us didn't just start doing No S and boom it was all good. We fell off and climbed back on multiple times. Hang in there!

[Blithe Morning]

Glad to be of assistance Winnie. Years ago I went to a conference that featured a motivational speaker for one of the sessions. Motivational speakers stick with me for about... oh, 32 minutes before I need motivating again. But the speaker had an illustration that has stuck with me.

She said that in one training session she ran, the task was to direct someone towards a hidden object in the room. The first group could only use the word Yes to direct the person, the second group could only use the word No and the third group could use both Yes and No. Each group was timed to see how long it took to find the object.

The group that found it the fastest was the Yes and No group. The group that took the longest was the Yes group.

While the lesson of the exercise can have many applications, I've always taken it to mean that doing It wrong (whatever It is) is part of the process and can be valuable as long as you learn from it.

[~reneew]

I'm having horrible flashbacks of trying to count everything. I spent years counting... fat, fiber, points, glasses of water, minutes exercising, and a long time counting calories on Sparkpeople. I got so sick of it and gained, slowly about 70 while tring to count! I started No s in October '08 and lost 15-20, then Christmas came and I gained it back and now I'm starting again April 1st. I can tell you that this is so way way easier. One day on sparkpeople I spent over an hour trying to figure out my supper (I cook from scratch). That was it! Then I read about no S. When you follow it, it honestly works! The edge of your plate is your boundary, not a number that you have to calculate. It's common sense. I too encourage you to read through posts on here. When I need a boost, that helps! Good luck!