Am having problems! Please help...

[Cassie]

Hi everyone

I first joined this forum a couple of months ago, in early March. I started the no S diet & did very well for a while. I thought what was great was the simplicity of it, that i just had to remember a few clear, simple rules, & that was it. NoS makes sense to me as a sensible, 'livable' way of eating, a way of eating that can actually work for all my life & not just during a certain weight loss period of time.

At the end of March, and spurred on by my initial success with noS I decided to visit a nutritionist who I'd seen before and I liked a lot. The idea was to have some support in my efforts. What actually happened is that even though I tried to explain noS to her, and even though she initially said 'yes yes that sounds good'... she then went on to give me loads of other ideas & tips & rules. Most of them (actually all of them) make sense & each one on their own would work well. But all these rules together (plus the fact that i have a 9 month old baby) have meant that I've actually not lost even one kilo & I feel so disappointed. (My scales are actualy not working at the moment, so I'm not 'strictly' sure I haven't lost weight, but I really don't think I have...)

It kind of started to seem like a mountain & I just quit all effort. What also didn't / doesn't help was:

1) that my parents visited & we spent a week with treats in nice cafes, restaurants etc
2) that we're moving house in 10 days
3) that I have my baby PLUS I'm working part time (about 20 hours a week) on my PhD
4) that I simply cannot keep in mind let alone follow all these rules.

I am supposed to see my nutritionist again end of May but I'm too embarrassed to see her because I don't think I've lost any weight. I'm also disappointed because I feel noS makes a lot of sense & I started it with loads of enthusiasm & now it feels it's gone down the drain.

I am about 15 kilos overweight (I mean, I could lose even more, but I think with 15 kilos I'd look really good & would feel healthy). I really really want to lose it, as I have problems even with walking up stairs, I'm not fit, and I also don't like the way I look at the moment. But I feel my self discipline is zero & I feel so very very disappointed. I don't even want to talk to my partner about it (let alone the nutritionist) because I feel I'm letting them down.

How do I get back on track? Please help...

[Cassie]

Actually I think it would be useful (so that people can give me good advice) to write down all the rules my nutritionist has given me, just so you can see how many they are. You can then tell me- and please be honest! - whether you think they are indeed too many, or whether I'm just showing no self-discipline (which is true in any case).

Here is what I'm supposed to be doing:

--The NoS stuff (which in my heart I haven't abandoned)
--eat all meals on a small plate (dessert-size)
--use a pedometre & 'challenge myself' to more steps every day (I bought a pedometre, it's faulty, & I haven't bought another)
--use a mini-trampoline for exercise at home & 'challenge' myself to more minutes every day (I bought it, it's still in the box )
--take 3 supplements every morning for energy & strength (I take them, but not all days)
--have a particular breakfast every day, the same one: porridge with some fruit & linseeds (this is one of the things that's actually worked for me)
--for lunch, have a sandwich which contains very particular things (meat, vegetables etc, no cheese) I've failed dismally on this rule
--for dinner, have a dessert-sized plate with 1/4 protein, 1/4 carbs, and 1/2 veg. On this too I've failed simply because I love to cook & have always cooked a lot, & this way of eating- 1/4 or this, 1/4 of that etc- seems too restrictive to me. Plus, too complicated if you see what I mean.
--Choose particular kind of carbs (e.g. rye bread, sweet potatoes, brown basmati rice etc) Again have failed (although some of these I eat anyway)
--keep a food diary (I don't write in it everyday)
--make a meal plan (again, don't do it all the time)
--eat slowly. Time myself for every meal & set challenges to increase time gradually
--Have one dessert per week (saturday night). And one different breakfast per week (eggs on sunday morning). Again, don't need to say, I've failed on this too
--have 2 oatcakes for an afternoon snack. This particular rule has really confused me because it means I'm breaking the 'no snacks' rule. And with me the problem is; when I start 'breaking the rules' I then go on to do it even more. 2 oatcakes doesn't sound like a lot but it really hasn't helped.
--drink 1.5 litres water per day

OK. I'm tired even writing all this down let alone making all these changes at once...

What do I do? I really don't want to stop seeing my nutritionist, but on the other hand I feel paradoxically that things have actually got worse since I started seeing her. Does that make sense?

[dockanz]

Hi everyone
I am about 15 kilos overweight (I mean, I could lose even more, but I think with 15 kilos I'd look really good & would feel healthy). I really really want to lose it, as I have problems even with walking up stairs, I'm not fit, and I also don't like the way I look at the moment. But I feel my self discipline is zero & I feel so very very disappointed. I don't even want to talk to my partner about it (let alone the nutritionist) because I feel I'm letting them down.

How do I get back on track? Please help...

How are you demonstrating that you "really, really want to lose it." If that is true, you will alter your behavior. You have a number of stressors right now, which serve as handy excuses for why you can't be successful, but the bottom line is that it comes down to making better choices. If you really really want it, get back to basics and do it!

[marleah]

This doesn't address ALL of those rules (which do seem like quite a few) - but maybe you can combine some of those rules together in ways that make sense.

For example - I usually get 50-60 oz of water a day, and I usually take about an hour to eat meals. The way I do it is I take a bite of food, and then I take a drink of water. I alternate like this the whole time. I think that it also makes the food taste better because you are tasting every bite, not just "chain-eating." This has made me feel more full, so I eat less, and it also has slowed me down, which also makes me feel more full. So doing this might take care of two of your rules (drinking more water AND slowing down at mealtimes).

I also struggled with taking a multivitamin every day. What I did was finally get a pill box, the kind that has a section for each day, and I just keep it in the kitchen by the stove. That way, when I'm making dinner and putting food on my plate, I grab the pill box and take it with me to the table. That way I have it right in front of me so I am less likely to forget. It might be helpful to set up a habitcal (link at the top of the page) and mark a day green when you take your supplements.

As for the food log, maybe keeping a daily check-in thread on this site (I don't know if you already do this or not) where you can get comments and feedback from other people would be a better way to go. I know it helps me to post and keep track if I know that other people might look!

Remember - you aren't just losing weight for yourself. You are losing weight so that you can be happy and healthy for your baby too! Good luck with everything, and I hope some of this is helpful.

[TunaFishKid]

I don't understand why you need the nutritionist's rules at all. You said you started seeing her because you were "spurred on by [your] initial success." I say "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." At this stressful time in your life you need fewer rules, not more.

If it were me, I'd dump everything that isn't No S (and that includes the nutritionist) and relax.

[Kathleen]

Reinhard has a cynical view of a lot of this stuff as being big business. I think there is some truth in at least some of that. How complicated does eating have to be? Look at the rules. You'd be spending your time trying to figure out plate sizes and amounts of water to drink and scheduling time to have your afternoon snack. There's an element of precision that your nutritionist is requiring of you that just plain isn't necessary. What No S does is train you to be moderate in your eating. You are moderate during the week and eventually that carries over to the weekend. It's simple which is why it can be followed for the rest of your life.

My recommendation is this: lose one nutritionist and several "common sense" rules.

Kathleen

[kccc]

I think I agree with TunaFishKid.

However, if you want to continue working with your nutritionist, keep in mind that it's a collaboration, not just you mindlessly obeying her orders. You are the one that lives in your body! You get to own the responsibility for it (which is both empowering and a little scary).

So, it's perfectly reasonable for you to go back to her and say "Trying to follow this many new rules at once has been counter-productive. I was doing better simply following No-S." Then you can negotiate in terms of what you think would be the best. Perhaps the two of you can pick ONE thing for you to work on, and that's it. Then, when that habit is established, you can choose another.

It takes effort and attention to change one habit at a time, but it's doable. Trying to change a dozen at once is a recipe for failure.

Best wishes.

[winnie96]

I agree with Tuna on "dumping the nutritionist's rules" and "relaxing". Although there are some good suggestions there, treat them as just that: suggestions, not the dreaded "rules".

You seem to have rather a lot going on at the moment -- mostly good things, I hope (moving to new place! taking care of your baby! working on your PhD! working part-time!), but you probably don't have a lot of time to devote to devising complicated food or exercise plans.

Maybe you could carve out some specific amount of time each week to do some simple meal planning? I find it must easier to stay on track if I know in advance what my meals are going to be, then I just execute rather than spend a lot of time trying to think whether I should have this, or that, or something else.

As for exercise, walking is great. You probably walk many steps just in the course of your normal day. I would try to take advantage of any extra opportunities (the usual suspects: take the stairs, park the car farther away, etc.). It doesn't sound to me like you are in a place where "challenging" yourself will result in anything but more stress. Just try to be aware of how much you move, how it makes you feel -- save any decisions about increasing your activity in any formal way until after you have moved and settled down.

(But make sure you don't use the move as an excuse to put off getting things together indefinitely. Maybe you could write a short list of issues you are going to address post-move, put it in an envelope to be opened a month or so from now. Then you can forget worrying about them for the meantime).

This is a long way of saying what Tuna said -- just keep No-S-ing and getting your mind back to a calmer place.

Best wishes (and let us know how it all goes!),
Winnie

[mimi]

I agree! I believe that NoS is a very peaceful way to coexist with eating and all kinds of situations that involve food. At least that's how I find it to be and what draws me to it.
Mimi

[StrawberryRoan]

I agree with mimi.

A week in and I am very calm about food for the first time in a long time.

I eat three meals a day, normal meals - not skimpy but not overdoing it either.

I exercise a lot (always have), drink at least a gallon of water a day (not really that much, six or so of my 20oz cups), try to get a good night's rest -

splurge a little more (but not binge) on special days.

It really is simple.

Another S




(And a BIG bonus I noticed this week. I haven't opened the box of CheeezIts, the bag of nachos, the jar of nacho cheese, the box of Little Debbie's, the carton of ice cream,the box of Vanilla Wafers (I used to eat at least twenty with my morning coffee long before breakfast was even thought of) etc. All the snacks I got "for others" but somehow managed to eat. So, I am saving money as well as calories. It is kinda enpowering to open the pantry and see them all staring at me, unopened.

[mimi]

And there's something about knowing you can have them when an S day rolls around that makes them lose some of their appeal, don't you think? You're calling the shots - not those snacks!

[StrawberryRoan]

Exactly mimi.

I also have found that if I give up say three snacks sessions a day (and trust me, threre were more),and a dessert a day that is FIFTEEN snack attacks and FIVE desserts EXTRA that I could have on the weekend, assuming I saved them all up.

Well, guess what? I will probably eat dessert after the Sunday Mother's Day meal and maybe nachos and cheese or something on Saturday night, that would be it. So, I will have saved a lot of needless junk and excess calories.

Very empowering indeed.

BTW, Love your area of the country.

SR

[mimi]

Yes, I agree, this is very beautiful country, but I've seen lots of other beautiful areas in the US too!

That said StrawberryRoan...if you think in terms of estimated calories, you would be saving roughly in the neighborhood of 7,000 calories in a week's time! If you have to cut 3,500 calories from your intake in order to lose a pound of weight, then that would equal a 2 pound loss! In one week!
VERY empowering indeed!

Keep up your great work!

Mimi

[Thalia]

Wow, that is an enormous amount of change to try to make all at once! I don't think you are making excuses or shirking when you say that you can't handle it.

I would look at which suggestions seem like useful ideas to keep in mind -- high-fiber choices like sweet potatoes instead of white, or remembering not to take the car when you can walk, or having plenty of veggies on your plate -- and just treat them as suggestions for what Reinhard calls "intelligent dietary defaults," but NOT rules that you must always follow or worry about.

After a month or so, if you want, you can add one as a "habit" to track on habitcal along with No S -- I do that with packing a lunch for work instead of buying it, for example. You could have a separate habit counter for "take the stairs" or "lots of veggies" or "hop on the trampoline." These don't have to be hard, though -- you don't need to measure your plate to see that it has plenty of green stuff on it, and you don't need a pedometer to know that you're walking more than you used to. It's just common sense, and she's making it unnecessarily difficult to form those habits by making you do all that tracking.

Any of the rules she gave you that don't make sense to you, are too onerous to follow, or you just don't like, I would ignore. There is no magic sandwich that you MUST eat every day, unless you love that sandwich and want to do it.

[reinhard]

Cassie,

The best rules in the world (and I'm not saying these are) won't do you any good if you can't stick with them.

If I were you, I'd "reboot" my efforts by reducing them to 2:

1) vanilla no-s (subject to tweaks if necessary after a solid month)

2) 14 minutes of ANY KIND of exercise every N-day (or some other moderate structure, though this one is pretty powerful)

Do this and NOTHING more for a solid month.

At the very least, it should clear your head.

You might even find at the end of that month that, eureka, it's all you need.

If not, or not quite. Allow yourself ONE AND NO MORE THAN ONE "tweak" for next month. Could be one of the "rules" your nutritionist suggested, could be a less mandatory "intelligent dietary default." At the end of the second month, evaluate again. Was the tweak helpful? If not, drop it. Want to add ONE AND NO MORE THAN ONE additional tweak? Fine. Same deal. Give it a solid month, then reevaluate. If at any point you run into serious compliance trouble, consider REMOVING a rule rather than adding one. Even if your rules are all individually good, the sum of them can be way less than the parts -- even something negative -- if you don't have the energy and attention they require. The priority should always be compliance with existing rules. If your compliance starts suffering after adding something new, the solution isn't to add yet more, but reduce your total "rule burden" back to the point where you could deal with it.

Reinhard

[Cassie]

I have to say I'm really touched by what all you guys have written! Thanks so much for writing all these ideas & thoughts... you've given me hope & I'm now optimistic again about re-starting.

My first step will be using HabitCal. I don't know what it is or how to use it, so I'll go check that out now. Many of you suggested that, so I think it's a place to start. I'll also do the 'daily check in' (is that using HabitCal? is it the same thing?) In any case, I'll definitely keep in touch with the community here because everyone seems so helpful.

Thanks a million.

[Too solid flesh]

As others have said, those are an awful lot of rules, and you have a tremendous amount to deal with, so it's not surprising that it's been hard.

One thought that might help is that once your baby is a toddler, you will get masses of exercise!

[wosnes]

I'll have to say that my philosophy with just about everything -- including how I eat -- is KISS: Keep It Simple, Sweetie. No-S is simple. Adding more rules complicates things.

Having said that, I think that using a pedometer and the 1/2 vegetable, 1/4 carb, 1/4 protein are two of the simplest things I've ever come across. Although, I usually use that formula at dinner only.

BTW, I don't know exactly how your pedometer is faulty, but none of them is entirely accurate, but they should be accurate to within 10% of the actual number of steps taken.

[Cassie]

Wosnes, the pedometer is completely faulty, 'records' a step even when I just shift in my chair!

Thanks again guys for all the ideas... I will do what Reinhard suggested: 'vanilla noS for 1 month' and '15 mins exercise per day'. I've also started using HabitCal (it's full of reds for the moment but I hope to get those greens in too...)

[Too solid flesh]

Wosnes, the pedometer is completely faulty, 'records' a step even when I just shift in my chair!

Where can I get one?

[apomerantz]

Cassie,

I just wanted to send good wishes your way! I think you've gotten excellent advice here (Tuna's, Reinhard's, and all those who agreed with them), so just wanted to say that I think you will have smooth sailing now!!

[Cassie]

Apomerantz: not sure if I'll have smooth sailing! However, I'll give it a good try...
First things first, I'll schedule my next appointment with my nutritionist & I'll talk with her- honestly- about the difficulties I've encountered.

[wosnes]

Wosnes, the pedometer is completely faulty, 'records' a step even when I just shift in my chair!

Where can I get one?

Any sporting goods store should have them. Amazon carries them as well.

Cassie, that might be normal -- part of the 10% margin of error.

[dkretsch]

Wosnes, the pedometer is completely faulty, 'records' a step even when I just shift in my chair!

I found that the cheaper pedometers did this. I purchased a digital one and it is much closer to real steps. I have the Omron HJ-720ITC ($30) which can connect up to your computer and create a log of your steps. They have a few different models. I know the one they sell HJ-112 is easy to accidentally press the reset button on, which was why I did not go with that model. The HM-113 does not do that ($19.99).

[midtownfg]

I know the one they sell HJ-112 is easy to accidentally press the reset button on, which was why I did not go with that model.

I have on my Omron HJ-112 right now. I have never had a problem with accidentally resetting it and find it very accurate. I would highly recommend it if you can find it at a reduced price like I did on Amazon a few years ago. It would be cool to have one that hooked right up to the computer but I can write down the numbers just as easily. How anyone expects me to get up to 10,000 steps in a day I will never understand. Even though I stand up and march in place any time I read this website at work, plus do cardio at the gym for 40-45 minutes a day, I still haven't made it to 10,000 steps. 9600 something was my closest. I guess if I took it up to an hour of cardio I would make it. Someday.

[~reneew]

I had a cheap pedometer and it missed about half of my steps, then I got a nice one and actually counted out 500 steps on a walk. It missed a few but I cheated and calculated those in my head I'd rather have one that added them when I shift in my chair. They certainly inspire me to walk more! I need to get a new battery.

For those of you interested in what the Bible says about food rules: Colossians 2:16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink... and ...:20 Since you died with Christ to the basic principals of this world why as though you still belong to it, do you submit to it's rules: Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch! These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgences.

I totally agree! Rules shmules. No S seems the 'natural' way to go. Go ahead and plan meals in advance, drink water, exercise and maybe a vitamin if you want to. They won't hurt. But the less rules the better. In the past when I've added too many rules I felt like screaming from the pressure!

Vanilla No S! Your mind will feel SO at ease! It started to work for you... fire the 'professional'. You know that the food rules will change next week anyway.

[StrawberryRoan]

Wosnes, the pedometer is completely faulty, 'records' a step even when I just shift in my chair!

Where can I get one?

[wosnes]

How anyone expects me to get up to 10,000 steps in a day I will never understand.

I used to do over 10,000 steps a day at work alone (R.N.) -- and that was when I sat about half the time, plus 3,000-5,000 away from work. That job was the least active one I'd had over my career. My daughter works in a hospital pharmacy and wears hers only to work. I noticed the other day she had over 12,100 steps on it.

There's a book about pedometer walking by Catrine Tudor-Locke. In it she says that some kinds of movement, like using a treadmill or doing exercise tapes, may not register all steps because of the way your hip moves during the exercise. It could be the same with marching in place.

Because I'm not working now, I have a hard time getting to 10,000 steps, too. It takes effort -- picking the parking spot furthest away, walking all the aisles at the grocery or discount store, taking the dog on numerous walks daily, pacing while on the phone and just not being so "organized" -- making life a little inconvenient.

[winnie96]

I can second the recommendation for the Omron HJ-720IT. Have been using it for a year and a half, and I find it to be quite accurate, plus enjoy loading up the data to my PC. Their software gives you cute and inspiring graphs.

The PC interface, however, is not entirely the point. You don't have to clip this pedometer onto your waistband, you can simply put it in your front pocket. In addition to just counting your total steps for the day, it will also count what it calls your "aerobic" steps -- if you walk for 10 or more minutes at a time without stopping, the steps count in the aerobic category. For example, today I walked a total of 11,000 steps, but had 5,600 aerobic steps of walking continuously for 10 or more minutes at a time.

Look on Amazon for places to buy it. I think it's about $30 but IMO well worth it. Note: On Amazon you will see criticism of it because sometimes the pedometer to PC upload just seems to stop working. If you are not into uploading to the PC, you won't care about this. If you are, Omron won't let you manually enter the un-uploadable data. This happened to me. My defense is to have a 2nd backup pedo on hand, plus I download a csv from the Omron database and create my own database and graphs in Excel. (I'm a former programmer-type, so am perhaps more data-driven than the average No-S-er).

If you just want to count overall steps, and perhaps see what your "aerobic" step count looks like, without the PC interface, I would highly recommend this pedo for accuracy and ease of use.

[Cassie]

OK just bought a new pedometer! Am really happy about that because I do a lot of walking anyway (with my baby in the buggy, mostly) & so would love to challenge myself on this one thing. I bought the Omron one, following the advice you guys have given me...

I want to set a very modest goal for myself, as regards walking. Reinhard mentioned 14 mins exercise a day (btw, Reinhard, why 14 mins & not, e.g., 15? Am puzzled ) I think 14 mins or so of walking is way too little- I mean, in reality I walk quite a lot each day anyway. I think I'll just do a bit of counting for a week with my new pedometer- to get used to it, too- and see how many steps I'm doing atm... and then I'll go from there. How does it sound?

[wosnes]

OK just bought a new pedometer! Am really happy about that because I do a lot of walking anyway (with my baby in the buggy, mostly) & so would love to challenge myself on this one thing. I bought the Omron one, following the advice you guys have given me...

I want to set a very modest goal for myself, as regards walking. Reinhard mentioned 14 mins exercise a day (btw, Reinhard, why 14 mins & not, e.g., 15? Am puzzled ) I think 14 mins or so of walking is way too little- I mean, in reality I walk quite a lot each day anyway. I think I'll just do a bit of counting for a week with my new pedometer- to get used to it, too- and see how many steps I'm doing atm... and then I'll go from there. How does it sound?

Cassie, I think the 14 min/day is for shovelglove type activities, not walking/urban rangering. That is over and above the 14 minutes.

[kccc]

If you google "ten thousand steps" (not sure if you spell it out or not - try both ways) you'll find walking program for people with pedometers.

If I recall correctly, one piece of advice was to figure out your baseline and then try to increase by 10% every week (?) until you reached goal.

The incremental goals kept you motivated, but weren't overwhelming - a balance that seems to be critical in most goal setting.

[wosnes]

This is the first article I read about pedometer walking:
http://www.uhs.berkeley.edu/FacStaff/pd ... pCount.pdf

DO IT YOURSELF

Though you won't receive your weekly instructions in a sealed envelope as we did, don't be tempted to skip ahead. The key is to find your true baseline, then build gradually in a way you can maintain.

Week 1. The goal is to measure your steps in a typical week. Don't try to walk more than normal. Each morning, reset the pedometer to "0." Set it to show steps (ignore distance and calorie counts). Keep it closed and attached to your the front of your waist to the left or right of center. Wear it all day. At night, record the number of steps you've taken and note any formal exercise; for example, "20-minutes treadmill walk."

Week 2. Your goal is to boost your average by 20%. Add the total steps taken in Week 1 and divide by 7. Then multiply by 1.2. The result is your new target number for daily steps. So, if you averaged 3,000 steps a day in Week 1, try for 3, 600 in Week 2.

Week 3. If you haven't reached 10,000 steps, or if your goal is substantial weight loss (for which some experts recommend 12,000-15,000 steps a day), then boost your steps again by 20%. Again, add your total steps for the week, divide by 7, then multiply the result by 1.2.

[nlb]

I'm glad you like your Omron. The best pedometer I have found is a Digiwalker (digiwalker.com). It's my permanent appendage.

Also, as of today I am going back to a minimum of 14K steps/day. I need that to lose wt. With my type of job, etc. that means either running or walking 4 mi/day over and above normal movement as in housecleaning, shopping, etc. and yes, it takes effort especially if not a running day. I've been doing 12K and most days I reach it but have proven before that 14K for me seems to be the magic #.

Since it's Sat - off to go for a run. Good luck to you with No-S and increased steps. You can do it!

[wosnes]

Until a couple of years ago I lived in a neighborhood in which I could walk to the grocery, doctor, hairdresser, bank, drug store, farmer's market and so on. In addition to that, there was a rails to trails trail a couple of blocks from my home. I had a rule that if an errand was six blocks away or less (or I didn't have to carry a huge load), I walked.

Between those two and my work, it made getting enough steps in daily nearly effortless. Now it takes a lot of effort.

Rails to Trails:
http://www.railstotrails.org/index.html