Hello. I just happened upon No-S in another forum and got intrigued - thought it sounded very sensible, do-able, but my goodness, my reactions to actually starting took me by surprise.
I think there are really big emotional issues tied up with eating for me, lots of neediness - much of it was covered up for many years by smoking.
After quitting smoking (doctor's advice post heart-attack) I began eating more - and noticing I didn't really like myself for doing it or how I looked because of doing it.
Also that I was so F***ing angry at not smoking and yet wanting to, and at the world - realised smoking had put the lid on so much, and food doesn't work so well but it is something to do with all the feelings I don't want to experience.
I tried just exercising to get my weight/waist down but that took such persistence and was so tiring I was knackered for the rest of the day, anyway, I saw the No S diet and thought "Could this be it? The answer?"
It stirred so many feelings! I got so anxious about how I would feel either hungry, needy or weak from too little food - and the whole "just one plateful" drove me nuts - I mean, I could fit all my food onto one plate, but it would be so messy - sandwiches and fruit yoghourt for example - I keep them seperate, but I could fit them on one plate so is it ok or not?
And last night, well, I just found the most massive plate I could, filled it with good stuff - roast chicken, cabbage, carrots, swede, potatoes, gravy - and ate till my stomach hurt - there's something about knowing I can't eat between meals seems to push this "eat more just so I can't feel hungry/needy later" button.
I know this has been a long posting - and I could say more and know I'd better not (another excess to control) but I'd like to ask - anyone know what I'm going through? Ring any bells for anyone else? It felt good to let some of this craziness out, I'm not sure whether I'll get over this intensity and settle to this diet, but I will try.
Regards to all, Graham
New to No S - impressed but wondering if I can stand it.
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Welcome, Graham! I suspect you'll hear from lots of people who've experienced some of the same things you are worried about.
I had the same reaction when I first heard about No S - this just makes so much sense. I tried it, and, seven and a half months later, I'm still doing it.
I'm another emotional eater who didn't realize how often I used food to sublimate emotions until I suddenly didn't have that option. Anger was the big one for me. I don't know how many times I was irritated and reached for something to pop in my mouth and realized I couldn't do that. So what came next? First I started feeling the anger, and then I asked myself what the heck I was so angry about. That was so good for me, because I was forced to see that I was usually overreacting. If I had genuine reason to be angry, I asked myself what I wanted to do about it. If I didn't want to do anything about it, I let it go.
As for hunger, yes, I get hungry. So what? Hunger is what used to tell us it's time to eat. So when I get hungry before lunch and hungry before dinner (and I do, every day), I appreciate it as a sign that my mind and body are finally handling food in a natural way. Food won't make my relationships better, but it is certainly a delicious, satisfying response to hunger. I enjoy my food more than I have in years.
Please keep posting your observations. It's very helpful, and you'll get support from this very nice community.
I had the same reaction when I first heard about No S - this just makes so much sense. I tried it, and, seven and a half months later, I'm still doing it.
I'm another emotional eater who didn't realize how often I used food to sublimate emotions until I suddenly didn't have that option. Anger was the big one for me. I don't know how many times I was irritated and reached for something to pop in my mouth and realized I couldn't do that. So what came next? First I started feeling the anger, and then I asked myself what the heck I was so angry about. That was so good for me, because I was forced to see that I was usually overreacting. If I had genuine reason to be angry, I asked myself what I wanted to do about it. If I didn't want to do anything about it, I let it go.
As for hunger, yes, I get hungry. So what? Hunger is what used to tell us it's time to eat. So when I get hungry before lunch and hungry before dinner (and I do, every day), I appreciate it as a sign that my mind and body are finally handling food in a natural way. Food won't make my relationships better, but it is certainly a delicious, satisfying response to hunger. I enjoy my food more than I have in years.
Please keep posting your observations. It's very helpful, and you'll get support from this very nice community.
Hi, welcome aboard! I was lucky enough not to go through what you're experiencing, but there have been lots of stories posted here from people who have. The general advice is: don't worry at all, at first, about how piled up your plate is. Just get the three-meals-a-day habit down, first. After a while, you'll get used to not eating between meals, and you'll realize that you don't actually need to stuff yourself in order to survive to the next meal. You may even start to appreciate how being a little hungry at mealtimes is actually a good thing! (Many people here have commented on that.)
I think the most psychologically savvy thing about NoS is the way it lets you make progress gradually: first worry about the big-picture habit, then you can fine-tune later. (So for example, get the three meals thing under control, to the point where it's an automatic habit -- then you'll have enough attention to spare to start thinking about what you eat. Or at first, pay no attention to how "crazy" your S days may be -- that will taper off over time, as you get used to eating less in general.) In that spirit, I'd suggest that if the "full" NoS is too tough for you at first, you can ramp up to it by eliminating one S at a time (first no seconds, then no snacks, then no sweets, or whatever order you like). Many people find that they can do all three at once, and push through those frankly difficult first few weeks or months until it gets to be easy, but we're all keenly aware that people are different, and what's simple for one person may be difficult for another.
The other thing that people sometimes forget is that although we tend to talk about three meals as a default (and it's a sensible one), there's no reason you couldn't try NoS with, say, four or five meals a day. The idea is to avoid eating randomly, but if you find that three meals are too far apart for you, you could start with more, and see if you can back off to three, later. (Gradualism, again.) The important thing is that they be *planned*: decide when you're going to eat, and don't eat except at those times. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are three meal-times that are sort of built in to society, so it's easiest to work with those three, but if need at first to add a mid-morning and/or mid-afternoon meal, who's to stop you?
Please do stick with it! You'll find a lot of supportive people, here, and you're absolutely right that this set of habits can be a way to get your relationship with food to a much more sensible place. Good luck!
(P.S. Oh, and there are a number of us around here who aren't too strict about the "one plate" rule. For me, "no seconds" means that I decide in advance how much I'm going to eat, and don't keep absent-mindedly going back for more, but if that decision involves a plate and a couple of bowls, I consider that fine. Others find that the single plate is a very useful measurement and constraint, so they follow it more strictly. Whatever works!)
I think the most psychologically savvy thing about NoS is the way it lets you make progress gradually: first worry about the big-picture habit, then you can fine-tune later. (So for example, get the three meals thing under control, to the point where it's an automatic habit -- then you'll have enough attention to spare to start thinking about what you eat. Or at first, pay no attention to how "crazy" your S days may be -- that will taper off over time, as you get used to eating less in general.) In that spirit, I'd suggest that if the "full" NoS is too tough for you at first, you can ramp up to it by eliminating one S at a time (first no seconds, then no snacks, then no sweets, or whatever order you like). Many people find that they can do all three at once, and push through those frankly difficult first few weeks or months until it gets to be easy, but we're all keenly aware that people are different, and what's simple for one person may be difficult for another.
The other thing that people sometimes forget is that although we tend to talk about three meals as a default (and it's a sensible one), there's no reason you couldn't try NoS with, say, four or five meals a day. The idea is to avoid eating randomly, but if you find that three meals are too far apart for you, you could start with more, and see if you can back off to three, later. (Gradualism, again.) The important thing is that they be *planned*: decide when you're going to eat, and don't eat except at those times. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are three meal-times that are sort of built in to society, so it's easiest to work with those three, but if need at first to add a mid-morning and/or mid-afternoon meal, who's to stop you?
Please do stick with it! You'll find a lot of supportive people, here, and you're absolutely right that this set of habits can be a way to get your relationship with food to a much more sensible place. Good luck!
(P.S. Oh, and there are a number of us around here who aren't too strict about the "one plate" rule. For me, "no seconds" means that I decide in advance how much I'm going to eat, and don't keep absent-mindedly going back for more, but if that decision involves a plate and a couple of bowls, I consider that fine. Others find that the single plate is a very useful measurement and constraint, so they follow it more strictly. Whatever works!)
welcome!
I totally know what you mean about the intensity, and it is a hard thing to deal with. For me, it's got it's upsides and downsides. I almost think excess food was for me sort of a self-medication to tone the world down to a level that was more comfortable. I have more anxiety issues than anger, but anyway. I try and relax and not expect more from food than it's giving--enjoyment and nourishment, but not comfort or feeling better.
changing paths is hard. waking up is hard. best of luck!
I totally know what you mean about the intensity, and it is a hard thing to deal with. For me, it's got it's upsides and downsides. I almost think excess food was for me sort of a self-medication to tone the world down to a level that was more comfortable. I have more anxiety issues than anger, but anyway. I try and relax and not expect more from food than it's giving--enjoyment and nourishment, but not comfort or feeling better.
changing paths is hard. waking up is hard. best of luck!
I've been around for about 3-4 years now, and what you're describing is not at all unique. Have faith that those huge plates will diminish as the inner part of yourself that is not amenable to pure reason begins to believe that it will NOT starve! Give it time.
It is also not uncommon for No-S to uncover ways in which food is being used to address issues other than simple hunger. That can be quite uncomfortable in the short term, but generally is a major benefit in the long term. For me, eating was a way to resist (procrastinate) on things I didn't want to do at the end of the day because I was tired. Once I stopped using that tool and just did the stupid dishes and evening chores, they really didn't take that long, and I found time I didn't know I had because I was wasting it in resistance. I consider DEALING with my problems instead of stuffing them down with food to be a hidden advantage of No-S.
For now, focus on getting the basic habits down. And if you haven't bought the book, I do recommend it.
Welcome, and look forward to hearing more of your journey.
It is also not uncommon for No-S to uncover ways in which food is being used to address issues other than simple hunger. That can be quite uncomfortable in the short term, but generally is a major benefit in the long term. For me, eating was a way to resist (procrastinate) on things I didn't want to do at the end of the day because I was tired. Once I stopped using that tool and just did the stupid dishes and evening chores, they really didn't take that long, and I found time I didn't know I had because I was wasting it in resistance. I consider DEALING with my problems instead of stuffing them down with food to be a hidden advantage of No-S.
For now, focus on getting the basic habits down. And if you haven't bought the book, I do recommend it.
Welcome, and look forward to hearing more of your journey.
Thanks to all who replied, it was very helpful to have friendly words when I felt so uncertain that I would be able to cope.
I got through 5 N days, my main problem being the day I had an unexpectedly demanding physical schedule and was ravenously hungry by 11:30 - so I had lunch early and it turned out not to be a problem after that.
I even began to feel the rules gave some sort of security and felt nervous that the weekend was just going to get me to eat things I'd rather forget I ever liked. I just didn't want chocolate - I ate some just so I could conform to the "don't skip the S days" rule - and wondered why I had to do that when it made me feel sad.
The nice thing about S days was being able to have an apple without it being a meal-time and I might have enjoyed the pancakes I fixed for myself if a trusty bit of dental work hadn't decided to break just then - just to add a twist to the challenge of my second No S Monday.
Regards to all, Graham
I got through 5 N days, my main problem being the day I had an unexpectedly demanding physical schedule and was ravenously hungry by 11:30 - so I had lunch early and it turned out not to be a problem after that.
I even began to feel the rules gave some sort of security and felt nervous that the weekend was just going to get me to eat things I'd rather forget I ever liked. I just didn't want chocolate - I ate some just so I could conform to the "don't skip the S days" rule - and wondered why I had to do that when it made me feel sad.
The nice thing about S days was being able to have an apple without it being a meal-time and I might have enjoyed the pancakes I fixed for myself if a trusty bit of dental work hadn't decided to break just then - just to add a twist to the challenge of my second No S Monday.
Regards to all, Graham