*S*pecial occasions -- what, when, how often?

[Doran]

This evening, I attended an event at 5:30. It was too early for my regular dinnertime, so instead I opted to wait and eat when I got home, around 8:00. But, I got to thinking, while standing there resisting the urge to munch on the various [delicious looking] hors d'oeuvres offered -- how often do No S'ers allow themselves to take advantage of the Special Occasions kind of S-days, as opposed to just the standard Saturday/Sunday S-days? What occasions do you consider special enough to break with the weekday No-S "rule"?

[oolala53]

I made a decision to declare an S day sort of last minute a couple of times, but I doubt I would do it again until I've been at this a few more months. Even then, most people plan ahead for non-weekend S days, knowing a birthday or other special occasion is coming up.

In that situation, if I was very hungry, I would have cobbled a dinner together from the foods available. Nobody says you have to plan what you are going to eat at each meal ahead of time. Some do, just to make life simpler. Reinhard says No S allows for the spontaneous, such as ditching the lunch you brought to go out with colleagues. However, if all the foods at the event were dense, I might have waited just to get the mix of textures I like.

In the end, it depends on how solid your habits of moderation are.

[Aleria]

If it's a major holiday that my family celebrates (and if I'm with them, alone there's no point..), I take an S day.
If I'm going to a social function that matters to me, such as a friend's birthday party, I take an S day.
If there's a social function I don't really care about, but am obligated to go, I wouldn't take one.
It's all a matter of personal opinion - if you feel that event is special, take one. If not, then don't.

[oolala53]

Forgot to say that Reinhard says the plan allows for two declared S days a month. This may slow the weight loss but may increase the chance for long-term compliance.

[Kathleen]

I just dispensed with the whole idea of S Days as special and allow myself two Exception Days per month which I can carry forward to the next month if not used. What has that allowed me? A lot of flexibility. I also haven't always taken an Exception Day on what could clearly be classified as Special Days. It works for me, and it's more clearcut. I had no problem passing on a confirmation cake on Saturday. In a large extended family (my husband's), there are always celebrations! That's great -- I've learned to celebrate and still follow the diet. It's a lot easier than I thought it would be. My focus is more on the people and the event than the food.
Kathleen

[Over43]

My pop's best friend was an alcoholic. You'd ask him how he was doing and he'd always reply, "I woke up this morning, it's a great day." For him every extra day was special. For most of us, we can find reasons to make any day special. I don't think about it much anymore. My father in law's birthday I ate short cake. Yesterday was my office partner's birthday, I skipped the cupcakes. In fact my paraprofessionals walked through with them and I didn't look twice. In February I'd have had two.

As you continue through this, at least for me, I seem to have regulated myself in not eating the extras. I just donn't "need" them anymore.

[wosnes]

My pop's best friend was an alcoholic. You'd ask him how he was doing and he'd always reply, "I woke up this morning, it's a great day." For him every extra day was special.

I've got to say that I agree with your pop's best friend. For me that's a sign that someone sees thing in a positive light. But a great day because you're alive isn't the same as a "special" day.

I deal with special occasions differently. With the exception of holidays, I no longer take S days. Instead, I allow myself 2-3 S events weekly. I started this after I'd been following the plan for about 3 years. I realized that I felt deprived because most of my socializing wasn't on the weekend. If I went to lunch or dinner I had to skip appetizers or desserts because it wasn't an S day. On weekends I found myself eating things I didn't particularly want just because it was the weekend and I could.

My criteria for determining if an event is an S event is: would I make special plans to do this or change my plans to do this? If the answer is yes, it's an S event. If it's required because of work, it's probably not an S event.

[NoelFigart]

For me an S-day is a weekend, a holiday that I'd be off work for if I worked for the Federal government, vacations, immediate household birthdays (there's only three of us and mine is on Christmas) and anniversaries.

So this year, Non-weekend S days are pretty thin on the ground. There's sixteen of them, but only because I count vacations, and for the beach vacation, since we DO eat three meals a day at the beach like civilized people, I may just eat meals and leave it at that. We go to the beach for the sand and water. There's no S-food I particularly look forward to or get excited about, what with seafood being fine for N-days anyway. (It really wasn't possible to stick at Disney without extraordinary effort, and that's no my personal kink). If it weren't for vacations, there'd be six.

However, I'm considering tightening up on S days with Reinhard's suggestion about Big S days (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc) v. small s days (weekends that are not holidays), and maybe make dessert with one of the meals or something. This is mostly in the interests of making habits of only eating at meals as strong as I possibly can.

[Starla]

I looked back at my Habitcal, and I've taken these non-weekend S days since starting on September 7, 2009:

Thanksgiving
Christmas Eve
Christmas
New Year's Day
Sick Day
Vacation (3 extra S days sandwiched around a weekend)
My birthday.

For me a NWS day has to be a special day that I would enjoy less as an N day. There are many occasions I can enjoy as N days. I can celebrate birthdays without eating cake, go out to restaurants and stick to a single plate, picnic without snacking on the chips.

I take NWS days only when they're special, and not just because it's hard or inconvenient to keep them as N days. Obviously, other approaches work for other people. I personally need the structure and the strictness.

[Elspeth]

Canonical No S allows two non-weekend S days a month. In my fifteen weeks of No S, I've taken only two total, and I determined them both in advance. One was a day during which several feet of snow was predicted. I knew that I would end up baking many batches of chocolate chip cookies to feed the hungry shovelers (three teenaged boys and my husband) and I also knew it would be hard to bake without sampling the finished product. So I decided the night before to make that an S day. St. Patrick's Day is a big day in my family with a special dinner and dessert along with alcohol so I declared the dinner a "non-weekend S event." I stuck to three meals that day, two of which at least were small, and did not allow myself to snack between breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner, but I enjoyed relaxing the rules at dinner and afterward. In other words, I was careful not to let the designation of March 17 as an S day be an excuse for me to overindulge all day long.

I think the key may be to decide in advance and stick to that decision! Otherwise, for me at least, the danger would be to declare S events or days whenever confronted by any temptation. Aleria's personal guidelines posted above

If it's a major holiday that my family celebrates (and if I'm with them, alone there's no point..), I take an S day.
If I'm going to a social function that matters to me, such as a friend's birthday party, I take an S day.
If there's a social function I don't really care about, but am obligated to go, I wouldn't take one.

might be useful in helping you determine which events merit non-weekend S day status.

[Doran]

Thanks for the clarification everyone! I'm on Day 20 now (so still very much a newbie), and so far, haven't had any real reason to declare an NWS-day. The event the other night didn't qualify, even by my newly established standards. But, I know there are going to be times when the choice will be more difficult. A general plan for 2/mo. will probably be a good boundary for me. Vacation? -- that will be another story altogether! But, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.