One little or big problem

jellybeans01 · Post by **jellybeans01** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 8:03 pm

My husband and I are missionaries and lots of our time is visiting families in their home. This usually means having to eat or drink at least something with every visit. I tried to start this diet Tues. but Wednesday we ate with a family at 4, so I was like okay, this is dinner and no more food. We dropped by to see another family thinking supper is over and wahla! they were just serving food. I may just have to be firm and say I ate and I can't eat more. Or if I don't eat breakfast and save the extra meal for visits...does that sound weird?

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 8:37 pm

Do what works for you. Also, there's no law that say it's 3 meals daily, but you'd have to eat smaller amounts at the meals.[/b]

marygrace · Post by **marygrace** » Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:09 am

If you're going to a house and are offered food when it's not at mealtime (or even if it is but you've already eaten), I think it's perfectly acceptable to say no thanks, I'm not hungry/I've already eaten. I imagine sometimes when you visit people, the food is just sort of set out for anyone to take, in which case you could just not take any of the food. If they insist on giving you something, you could always have some water or coffee or tea?

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:23 pm

jellybeans01,
I had a fear that it would be very awkward for me to not eat at a social event. Now that I've been doing it for two years, I'm finidng that people really don't take offense and I hardly notice myself anymore that I'm not eating. It's very nice that I can accept some sort of drink.

I remember once, maybe 20 years ago, going to a co-worker's going away party, and she didn't have cake. I noticed because I was starting to observe other people's eating habits as a way to figrue out dieting. The rest of us were stuffing our face and enjoying the cake. She had her hands in her back pocket and was enjoying the company. I remember thinking then that no body noticed, and it was her going away party -- someone had bought a cake for her!

Not really. It wasn't really that someone had bought a cake for her. It was more that someone bought a cake for a social occasion of wishing this woman well. It didn't matter at all that she did not have a piece of cake.

Kathleen

Urban Ranger · Post by **Urban Ranger** » Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:34 pm

Where are you, Jellybean? That make an incredible difference.

jellybeans01 · Post by **jellybeans01** » Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:46 pm

Well Urban Ranger, I can't say specifically for safety reasons. The cartels have moved close to where we are. They are an indiginious group, so they are more sensitive about their food. Honestly though most of them are good friends and I know their feelings would probably not change about me. They already think I'm a weirdo because I'm a runner training for a half marathon.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:42 am

As long as you're sure they wouldn't be offended, I would say it was just fine to politely decline the food. Otherwise, maybe take small portions of whatever is offered and just say you're full, if they try to offer you any more food.

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Tue Sep 21, 2010 12:38 pm

We are in a similar situation--missionaries-- and in the local culture mealtimes are nowhere near as "set" as they are in the States. Thus, breakfast can be anywhere from getting up til noon, lunch from 1-5, dinner from 7-10. Thus, because you never know if someone has eaten or not, the norm is to set out some food for guests.

At first, I felt obligated to eat whatever was put before me because I wanted to be sensitive and not offend anyone. If we visited multiple families (which we do on certain saints' days), I would be truly nauseous by the time we got home in the evening. So, I began watching how the locals handle the situation, and this is what I now do:

1. If it is close to my meal time and I could count it as one of my meals, I'll enjoy it.

2. If I've already eaten and they ASK me if I want food, I will politely decline saying that I've already eaten, but will accept a coffee, or tea, or whatever. I do this even if I don't particularly feel like having a drink, because it helps them to feel that they've fulfilled their hosting duties and they can continue with enjoying their meal.

3. If they don't ask me, or ignore what I tell them (this happens more often than not) and set food in front of me anyway, I will try a very small bite and let them know it is good. I will then leave the rest. This is what the locals do most often--try a bit and leave it. I personally feel that it is wasteful, but that is just how it is done here.... I do know that most families will either have it later (one bite out won't matter to them) or it will get fed to the pigs.

4. If a meal is not being served but a sweet treat is, I will eat a small amount IF they specially made the dessert for our visit. If it is just something they had on hand (homemade or storebought), I will decline. If they push, I say that I can't for health reasons. I do not go into what those reasons are....

If for some reason, such as social pressure, lack of will power, tiredness, I do forego my NoS habits, I "mark it and move on." One extra meal every so often won't make a difference IN THE LONG RUN. And I believe the Lord extends extra grace in those circumstances anyway....

HTH,

jellybeans01 · Post by **jellybeans01** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:05 am

Thanks so much Vicki, this did help me. Seems like there is a saints day just about everyday and food is plentiful. The other day after downing a bowl of this corn soup I was firm about wanting no more. Well they filled the whole bowl up again and gave it to me. I hated to be rude, but I just didn't eat anymore. Now I hope that when we visit they will know that my no thanks means no thanks. I am learning more and more as I go along. i sure appreciate everyones help.