What is going on here??
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
What is going on here??
I have tried starting No S a couple times, and I just can't seem to stick to it. Which is crazy since it's incredibly simple and "normal". If you look through my Daily Check In thread, it's something like fail, fail, fail fail, success, success, fail fail, s day, s day, fail.
That doesn't seem to be something I see in others' posts.
I tend to "give up" in the evening, when I'm wanting dessert or seconds of whatever Mom made for dinner. Sometimes I want to "give up" when I'm on campus (I commute) and see other students eating sweets or drinking pop, etc.
I don't understand why I feel such a need to quit rather than just tough it out... it's not like I won't have sweets the next weekend... anyone ever felt like this?
That doesn't seem to be something I see in others' posts.
I tend to "give up" in the evening, when I'm wanting dessert or seconds of whatever Mom made for dinner. Sometimes I want to "give up" when I'm on campus (I commute) and see other students eating sweets or drinking pop, etc.
I don't understand why I feel such a need to quit rather than just tough it out... it's not like I won't have sweets the next weekend... anyone ever felt like this?
- NoelFigart
- Posts: 1639
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:23 pm
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Well, I do it with exercise rather than eating in the short term, but yes, I often do. (In the long term, I'll do four or five months, then get indignant about something, an quit).
I'm just going to keep trying and failing until the failures drop off (and they will) and the successes become very very solid habit.
I'm just going to keep trying and failing until the failures drop off (and they will) and the successes become very very solid habit.
------
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
You'll get there, it takes time.
I also don't always think it's a good idea to compare yourself to others daily check in threads - people have such different mindsets about what is success vs. failure anyhow. And you never know how long someone has been on the plan. Or how long it took them to be mostly green.
I've been lucky in that even in the beginning, I didn't have a lot of problem sticking to the diet, so I didn't have a lot of red days (not that my check in starts when I started - it starts months later - so there is that too...). However, I've been less good about getting in as much exercise as I'd like. And I don't always cop to it very clearly on the daily thread - I don't *lie* about it and claim I exercised when I didn't - I sort of just don't mention it at all most of the time. And *I* know what that means, so it's okay - but from an outsiders point of view, I probably appear better behaved than I am.
One thing that helped me when I was starting was that I told my husband about the diet. I told him he didn't have to follow it (although he chose to), but that I needed him to be supportive and to understand the Rules, so that he didn't try to tempt me into breaking them. I love the man, but his idea of doing something sweet to lower my stress level is to actually buy me sweets - usually chocolate. Or bring me snacks. Having him on board with the diet extremely helpful because it meant he *didn't* offer me or bring me all sorts of junk to eat between meals, which drastically lowered the temptation. It also meant there was someone who knew what I was supposed to e
Maybe you could try talking to your mom about NoS and see if you can enlist her help? Maybe she would be willing to save desserts, or at least your favorite deserts for S days. And maybe the accountability of having her know you aren't supposed to have seconds would make it less likely that you would take seconds?
And about the other students? They will pay for it later. They don't call it the freshman 15 for nothing - I'm STILL working to get off all the weight I gained in college!
Good luck Sarah, you CAN do this! You just need to start believing in yourself more
I also don't always think it's a good idea to compare yourself to others daily check in threads - people have such different mindsets about what is success vs. failure anyhow. And you never know how long someone has been on the plan. Or how long it took them to be mostly green.
I've been lucky in that even in the beginning, I didn't have a lot of problem sticking to the diet, so I didn't have a lot of red days (not that my check in starts when I started - it starts months later - so there is that too...). However, I've been less good about getting in as much exercise as I'd like. And I don't always cop to it very clearly on the daily thread - I don't *lie* about it and claim I exercised when I didn't - I sort of just don't mention it at all most of the time. And *I* know what that means, so it's okay - but from an outsiders point of view, I probably appear better behaved than I am.
One thing that helped me when I was starting was that I told my husband about the diet. I told him he didn't have to follow it (although he chose to), but that I needed him to be supportive and to understand the Rules, so that he didn't try to tempt me into breaking them. I love the man, but his idea of doing something sweet to lower my stress level is to actually buy me sweets - usually chocolate. Or bring me snacks. Having him on board with the diet extremely helpful because it meant he *didn't* offer me or bring me all sorts of junk to eat between meals, which drastically lowered the temptation. It also meant there was someone who knew what I was supposed to e
Maybe you could try talking to your mom about NoS and see if you can enlist her help? Maybe she would be willing to save desserts, or at least your favorite deserts for S days. And maybe the accountability of having her know you aren't supposed to have seconds would make it less likely that you would take seconds?
And about the other students? They will pay for it later. They don't call it the freshman 15 for nothing - I'm STILL working to get off all the weight I gained in college!
Good luck Sarah, you CAN do this! You just need to start believing in yourself more
Finally a diet that I can make a lifestyle!
Started June 2010
6/27/2010 - 226 lbs
10/17/2010 - 203 lbs - 10% weight loss goal!
1/29/2011 - 182 lbs - 2nd 10% weight loss goal!
5/29/2011 - 165 lbs - 3rd 10% weight loss goal! (one more to go)
Started June 2010
6/27/2010 - 226 lbs
10/17/2010 - 203 lbs - 10% weight loss goal!
1/29/2011 - 182 lbs - 2nd 10% weight loss goal!
5/29/2011 - 165 lbs - 3rd 10% weight loss goal! (one more to go)
Re: What is going on here??
Hey, if you are surrounded by lots of folks with bad habits, it is definitely a lot harder. This will sound silly, but if your mother offered you dessert and you exercised the will power, you would say "no, thank you."
I say that all the time, to myself, when other people are eating around me. Just a polite "no, thank you", not out loud, to myself. You might be surprised.
I say that all the time, to myself, when other people are eating around me. Just a polite "no, thank you", not out loud, to myself. You might be surprised.
sarahkay wrote:I have tried starting No S a couple times, and I just can't seem to stick to it. Which is crazy since it's incredibly simple and "normal". If you look through my Daily Check In thread, it's something like fail, fail, fail fail, success, success, fail fail, s day, s day, fail.
That doesn't seem to be something I see in others' posts.
I tend to "give up" in the evening, when I'm wanting dessert or seconds of whatever Mom made for dinner. Sometimes I want to "give up" when I'm on campus (I commute) and see other students eating sweets or drinking pop, etc.
I don't understand why I feel such a need to quit rather than just tough it out... it's not like I won't have sweets the next weekend... anyone ever felt like this?
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
Hi Sarah,
No question this happens -- if you don't hear so much about it here that's probably because those people tend to get discouraged and go away.
That you're still struggling is commendable -- and I think you may have gained something from the experience after all: self-knowledge.
As you pointed out, your failures aren't random. They tend to occur in certain situations. Perhaps a tweak or two to the rules could address those. Or perhaps a tweak won't even be necessary: sometimes just being aware of them, shining the spotlight of your attention on them is enough. You'll recognize that that you're in one of those difficult situations again and be on high alert. You could even formalize that attention by (temporarily) creating separate, redundant habits (even using the habitcal): e.g. "no_campus_eating", "no_evening_mom_esses."
If the extra, redundant rules don't work or seem unappealing, you can go the other route and add an extra, limited permission (vanilla no-s plus you're allowed an extra mini-meal on campus, etc). This is just one example, there are a lot of ways you can twist the basic structure of no-s to create habits that work for you. Yes, extra permissions can go too far, but the critical thing, starting out, is to get some kind of eating structure firmly established as a habit. If that turns out to be insufficient (i.e., you're habitcal is green but you're still overeating), you can always reconsider the mod at some future point.
There are risks to modding no-s (more details here), but if you've given some serious time and effort and vanilla isn't working for you, those risks may be worth considering. But before that, have a chat with your mom, as Sienna suggests. Mods or no mods, you'll have a much easier time if she's on board with what you're doing.
Reinhard
No question this happens -- if you don't hear so much about it here that's probably because those people tend to get discouraged and go away.
That you're still struggling is commendable -- and I think you may have gained something from the experience after all: self-knowledge.
As you pointed out, your failures aren't random. They tend to occur in certain situations. Perhaps a tweak or two to the rules could address those. Or perhaps a tweak won't even be necessary: sometimes just being aware of them, shining the spotlight of your attention on them is enough. You'll recognize that that you're in one of those difficult situations again and be on high alert. You could even formalize that attention by (temporarily) creating separate, redundant habits (even using the habitcal): e.g. "no_campus_eating", "no_evening_mom_esses."
If the extra, redundant rules don't work or seem unappealing, you can go the other route and add an extra, limited permission (vanilla no-s plus you're allowed an extra mini-meal on campus, etc). This is just one example, there are a lot of ways you can twist the basic structure of no-s to create habits that work for you. Yes, extra permissions can go too far, but the critical thing, starting out, is to get some kind of eating structure firmly established as a habit. If that turns out to be insufficient (i.e., you're habitcal is green but you're still overeating), you can always reconsider the mod at some future point.
There are risks to modding no-s (more details here), but if you've given some serious time and effort and vanilla isn't working for you, those risks may be worth considering. But before that, have a chat with your mom, as Sienna suggests. Mods or no mods, you'll have a much easier time if she's on board with what you're doing.
Reinhard
- Blithe Morning
- Posts: 1221
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:56 pm
- Location: South Dakota
Isn't it maddening?
I asked Miss Hartshorne about why we self sabotage. The problem, according to Miss Hartshorne, is we just don't want something badly enough.
I protested, thinking of instances when I badly wanted something - sometimes feeling desperate - and then within the same day would do the very opposite thing.
"I didn't say you didn't want it, dear," said Miss H. "I said you didn't want it enough. It's like that book you were telling me about ' When He's Just Through With You.' "
It took me a moment to realize she meant "When He's Just Not That Into You."
"At the end of the day, people do what they want most and very little else," she concluded firmly.
Well, how do you change how much you want something, I asked.
"In my experience, that usually requires a traumatic event of some sort which is a rather difficult way to go about it. No, much easier just to keep plugging away at something, telling yourself 'I want this and not that' and one day you WILL want it more. Never underestimate the value of perseverance."
Miss Hartshorne is so convinced of this that it's hard for me to not believe it too.
I asked Miss Hartshorne about why we self sabotage. The problem, according to Miss Hartshorne, is we just don't want something badly enough.
I protested, thinking of instances when I badly wanted something - sometimes feeling desperate - and then within the same day would do the very opposite thing.
"I didn't say you didn't want it, dear," said Miss H. "I said you didn't want it enough. It's like that book you were telling me about ' When He's Just Through With You.' "
It took me a moment to realize she meant "When He's Just Not That Into You."
"At the end of the day, people do what they want most and very little else," she concluded firmly.
Well, how do you change how much you want something, I asked.
"In my experience, that usually requires a traumatic event of some sort which is a rather difficult way to go about it. No, much easier just to keep plugging away at something, telling yourself 'I want this and not that' and one day you WILL want it more. Never underestimate the value of perseverance."
Miss Hartshorne is so convinced of this that it's hard for me to not believe it too.
- BrightAngel
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- Location: Central California
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