Self Love without Fat Love

[Sienna]

So last summer ABC Family ran a show called Huge about a bunch of teens at a weightloss camp. The show didn't do very well and it was cancelled, but for some reason I was thinking about it today.

In the closing scene of the finale, one of the campers (Will, played by Nikki Blonsky) is talking to the head of the camp (Dr. Rand, played by Gina Torres). Dr. Rand's character used to fat and in fact was once a camper at the weight loss camp.

The exchange goes like this:

Will: What were you like, when you were fat?
Dr. Rand: I hated myself.
Will: And now you don't?
Dr. Rand: Less.
Will: And that's it? That's the big improvement? You hate yourself less?
Dr. Rand: Yes.

Thinking about this reminded me that while you may be fat and not like yourself very much - losing the weight won't necessarily make you like yourself more. That really how you feel about yourself and your weight are (or at least can be) two separate issues, and should be addressed as such. You don't have to love, or even accept, your fat to love yourself. This further encourages me to work towards my weight loss goals without a feeling of self loathing or hate or even failure. And to work on self-love in parallel (I'm often too hard on myself) with my weight loss. So that once I *do* eventually reach a my goal weight, I'll already be happy and ready to fully enjoy it.

[Nicest of the Damned]

No S is helpful for people who tend to over-analyze why they eat too much, at the expense of doing something about it. I was one of those people. I thought I couldn't do anything about eating too much until I understood exactly why I did, why I ate more when stressed, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum.

By contrast, you don't have to understand why you eat too much to do No S. You just do it, or rather just don't do it. You just don't eat snacks, sweets, or take seconds at meals. You don't have to think about why you want them, you just say no (this saying may be familiar to other people my age, from another context).

With No S, low self-esteem and being overweight can be treated as separate problems, and tackled separately. That's helpful. Two-front wars are generally bad news. You can get your No S habits down, and then work on self-esteem issues.

[kccc]

In one of my Zencasts, the speaker invited us to contemplate these two statements:

You are perfect just the way you are.
There is room for improvement.

I know it sounds like something that makes your head explode, but both are really true. Yes, at the same time.

(This feels related to me... maybe not.)

I do think attending to the eating as its own thing is powerful... even when doing so reveals other areas that need attention. (I eat b/c I'm bored, stressed, procrastinating... whatever. Oh, that's a separate issue....)

[kerrycrow]

No S is helpful for people who tend to over-analyze why they eat too much, at the expense of doing something about it.

With No S, low self-esteem and being overweight can be treated as separate problems, and tackled separately. That's helpful. Two-front wars are generally bad news. You can get your No S habits down, and then work on self-esteem issues.

So true. I know I turn to food when I (insert emotion here...happy, sad, lonely, etc.). So the No S "rules" help me to just turn that off, like a tap...because on diets past I would figure out how to "work in" that extra food somehow (I'll make it up at dinner, I'll work out extra, I won't go out this weekend). Now there is none of that. Yes I still have to deal with the WHY I wanted to eat...but food is no longer connected.

I like your thought about the 2 front war...