Heartfelt thanks and other musings

Tina · Post by **Tina** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 6:01 pm

Hello excellent No S peoples - This is my first posting on any discussion board, anywhere. I'm only 40 but like a true geezer I really prefer face-to-face community, and forums always seemed impersonal. After watching how you guys treat each other, with not mere civility but actual caring, I had to share with Reinhard and the rest of you what No S has done for me so far. Sorry for the epic length...

I am a recovering food addict. I've been struggling with the mis-use of food since grade school. It's a long story, but a health scare pointed me toward a holistic health center where I learned about food quality and it transformed my health and my weight. I lost over 60 pounds and have kept it off, even becoming a health coach who educates patients on how to do the same thing.

But for the past few seasons I've been aware that my body had stopped losing (was holding at about 170-175 at 5'10") and my heart was heavy with knowing I had eliminated junk from my life, but I was still eating too much, too often. Food was still friend, lover, salvation. I started wondering what the next step would be. Enter No S...

Consuming the No S site in an hour, I felt like I'd come home. I started immediately and experienced 2 days of psychological misery even while knowing it was going to change my life. I simply had not known I could be a little bit hungry without something awful happening. I didn't realize how much, how often, I was eating. I hadn't seen how every single thing in my life revolved around food. After the first week, it was like I had won the emotional lottery. I couldn't stop grinning!

Now, 6 1/2 weeks later (with obvious and significant changes already), the honeymoon period is over. Because of the hard work, the habits are iron-clad, but I am no longer taking emotional pleasure out of refraining from mindless eating. I'm paranoid about making a mistake, my attitude of moderation has waned, and the food-lust is back. I know this is an important phase - it seems I'm going through an important step of grieving my loss of food as friend, hobby, entertainment, therapy - but I miss the euphoria and weightlessness of the first few weeks.

Tonight I go to a big-girl sleepover with my closest friends. When I realized I was sad that it was on a Friday because I couldn't pig out or drink too much, I became even more committed to stick it. I am going to celebrate life and friendship, with a very fair amount of food. Excess shouldn't be the measure of celebration, even if that's how things are done everywhere around me.

Thank you all for listening, for doing this same work, for endeavoring to be moderate and for trying to restore common sense. Reinhard, can you tell how I must feel about your work?

Most sincerely,
Tina

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Mar 11, 2011 11:05 pm

Welcome, Tina! I'm glad that No-S helped you re-adjust your eating habits.

Now, 6 1/2 weeks later (with obvious and significant changes already), the honeymoon period is over. Because of the hard work, the habits are iron-clad, but I am no longer taking emotional pleasure out of refraining from mindless eating. I'm paranoid about making a mistake, my attitude of moderation has waned, and the food-lust is back. I know this is an important phase - it seems I'm going through an important step of grieving my loss of food as friend, hobby, entertainment, therapy - but I miss the euphoria and weightlessness of the first few weeks.

There is no need to be paranoid about making a mistake - that's too crazy-making! As Nicest posted on another thread, there are three kinds of No-Sers:
- Those who have had a failure
- Those who will have a failure
- Liars

The key is just getting back on track as soon as you can.

Also, remember you can have a couple of NWS (non-weekend S days) for special occasions. That sleepover sounds like one.

This is a "way of eating" more than a diet. Take it a little slow, and be sure to put enough on your plate, and enjoy your food. As you cut down on grazing and sweets, you'll find it tastes better. (Well, a lot of it will. And you'll stop eating the stuff that doesn't anymore.)

Best wishes, and welcome!

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:26 am

Tina, Thanks for sharing your experience here.
I look forward to watching your progress.

Tina · Post by **Tina** » Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:31 pm

Thank you both!

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:58 pm

They don't kick you off this forum for having a failure and marking a "red" day on your HabitCal. The earth does not stop turning if you fail at No S. The sun will still rise the next day after you fail. I didn't fully realize these things on an emotional level until after my first failure.

Now, failing at No S isn't something you want to do, but it's something that, if you do it, it's not the end of the world.

You just get back up on the horse and try again as soon as you can. It's important to not try to punish yourself in any way for failing, the way some people on some other diets might do. Mark it and move on.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:50 pm

Congrats on all your successes, and don't worry. You'll get through it.

Tina · Post by **Tina** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:09 pm

The stickie on the phases of No S was quite helpful, thank you for that KCCC, and everyone else for being so encouraging. Turns out it was just a really hard day which took me back to some old emotional patterns. I realize now that the 'down' moments are part of the momentum of growth, cyclical and continual. I'm learning not to be afraid of that, rather to see it as an important part of the process.