Need help!

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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Mustloseweight
Posts: 158
Joined: Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:04 pm
Location: UK

Need help!

Post by Mustloseweight » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:39 am

Aaaaaaaaarrrgh! I have officially lost the plot. My S days for my 40th and my wedding anniversary derailed me. Just as I thought, because I got a taste for some stuff not allowed on N days, I have not been on track for a couple of weeks now. I am getting to the 'looking at the Weightwatchers site and considering joining' stage, despite failing on that diet umpteen times before. I am starting to feel really desperate because weirdly, with no S days for four weeks, I lost nine pounds easily. I am an all or nothing person. My personality is such that I can't even contemplate certain foods, ever, S or N days because I will gorge on them once I get a taste for them. I am a person who can't do one or a couple of squares of chocolate I have to have a family bar to share all with myself obscene size one in one go. Please advise. Thanks guys.
September 2017 - Starting weight: 19st 9lbs
March 2018 - 17st 2lbs
July 2018 - 16st 4lbs
July 2020 - 17st 10lbs 😟
Target Weight: 11 stones

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Blithe Morning
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:56 pm
Location: South Dakota

Post by Blithe Morning » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:48 am

First, deep breaths.

Second, No S took me months and months to get down. Really, you might have to go through at least a year minimum to figure this out. Summer Blithe Morning is different than Autumn Blithe and still different from Winter or Spring Blithe.

There are times when you will be super motivated and will step it up a notch or three with mods and exercise And there will be times when you won't and just doing vanilla will feel like a lot.

It varies.

Just relax and concentrate on making it fun the best you can. It sucks that you are going through this but once you get through it (and you will) it will be in the past.

oolala53
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 5:34 am

Just about EVERYONE tends to overdo hyper palatable foods after they have been restricted. It is normal to feel a great urge to overdo them after periods of abstaining. Resisting that urge while still exposing yourself will eventually weaken the reaction.

Think very carefully because the failure rate for completely swearing off any food is very high. THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS AND ANYONE WHO HAS DONE IT IS EITHER AN EXCEPTION OR JUST HASN'T FALLEN YET. The ones who fall never learned to resist the urge, so they often go crazy.


But maybe you could be one of the exceptions. Sugary foods are definitely not necessary for life. Humans have been eating them only a relatively short time. Whatever you do, don't make it into a moral issue. If you can adopt an attitude that such foods just aren't worth the trouble, you have a better chance.

But I will say I tried for years to cut down on sugar/chocolate. I never could do it. I didn't think I could go 5 days a week, but I got scared enough that I would binge forever, so I committed. I binged on sweets A LOT for months and months! Finally instituted a mod. I consider it manageable now. I still can't see myself as someone who must abstain, but I find fewer and fewer sweets attractive.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 67
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There was no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

Mustloseweight
Posts: 158
Joined: Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:04 pm
Location: UK

Post by Mustloseweight » Thu Jun 05, 2014 5:58 am

Thanks for the replies. I could not make sweets, chocolate, cakes etc into a moral issue, nor by cutting them out completely do I wish in any shape or form wish to have a holier than thou attitude. I just have no self control whatsoever and two days with them makes it really hard if not impossible to do an N day the next Monday without it turning into a red day.
September 2017 - Starting weight: 19st 9lbs
March 2018 - 17st 2lbs
July 2018 - 16st 4lbs
July 2020 - 17st 10lbs 😟
Target Weight: 11 stones

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Dandelion
Posts: 693
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:42 am

Post by Dandelion » Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:23 am

Maybe I'm an oddball, and feel free to totally ignore me, but the way I deal with a food I'm craving is to eat it. Whatever it is. Of course, I have been doing this for nearly 20 years, so I've had a lot of practice.

The previous 20 years of restricting did nothing but reinforce those cravings - and multiply them. Back during my restricting days I thought constantly about food - always the things I wouldn't allow myself. I would even dream about it.

Now, it's nothing to me. Brownies go stale. Ice cream crystallizes. Halloween candy goes uneaten. I can walk by tables at work laden with bagels and cream cheese, cake pops, cheesecake, cakes, pies, cookies, chips... and while the other ladies are clinging to each other, sharing their 'willpower' struggles and congratulating each other on how 'good' they are for resisting, I don't even know what they're talking about because I didn't give the food a second glance.

While I used to have dozens of cravings and 'trigger foods' during my restricting years, I don't really have any now. I occasionally get a craving for something, but it's usually transient and these days is more likely to be some kind of vegetable. Last week it was broccoli. Now it's leeks. And I already bought the leeks and have a new recipe I am going to try tomorrow with them. I'm the only one I know that gets cravings for brussels sprouts and I will climb over brownies to get to beets.

For me that's been the best part about not 'dieting' - no more 'food fights'
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

oolala53
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Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 3:28 am

How wonderful for you, Dandelion. I still get cravings. Just a LOT less often and much easier to ignore. I'm not willing to do much more differently, as I doubt that anything else would change that much, or at least nothing else I'd be willing to do. I consider it all manageable, and that's all I'm looking for.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 67
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There was no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

ironchef
Posts: 1630
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:12 am
Location: Australia

Post by ironchef » Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:33 am

Seconding Blithe Morning that a few weeks is not that long - definitely take a minute to take a deep breath and relax.

After 18 months on track, I fell off the No-S wagon for over 3 months relatively recently, during Christmas and New Year 2013/14. My sister's wedding and the surrounding events, moving jobs, Christmas, summer parties, it went on and on. And then I got it back together, started posting and using HabitCal again, and I'm back on track.

On a less dramatic note, I fell off a bit in April, as we had several weeks of wedding anniversary, family birthdays, Easter, etc. And again, now a month later, I'm back on track.

Almost EVERYONE falls off the No-S track. Even after years on habit. It's ok, it's understandable. It can take several weeks (or in my case months) to get back to consistent green days. It is not the end of the world.

If you want to make a mod about sweets, no problem. But I wouldn't get rid of S days altogether. The S Days Gone Wild is a great podcast that I like to re-read or listen to for times like this.

I'm confused as to why you've chosen to have no S days for 4 weeks? Are you skipping weekends as well? Is this a kind of "punishment" for having red days? Why have you chosen this if it makes you feel "desperate"? Or have I misunderstood your post?
mustloseweight wrote:I just have no self control whatsoever and two days with them makes it really hard if not impossible to do an N day the next Monday without it turning into a red day.
I vote "really hard", not "impossible". Don't let the language you use shape your thoughts. If you tell yourself something often enough (e.g. "I have no self control" or "I know I'll fail when I get a taste for this food") you will believe it and it can start to seem inevitable. I do get that some people experience very strong triggering around certain foods, but unless there is a gun to your head you do have a choice. I promise things are not impossible.

Wishing you luck and peace with whatever you decide.

eam531
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:17 pm
Location: Buffalo, NY

Post by eam531 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:39 pm

ironchef wrote: I vote "really hard", not "impossible". Don't let the language you use shape your thoughts. If you tell yourself something often enough (e.g. "I have no self control" or "I know I'll fail when I get a taste for this food") you will believe it and it can start to seem inevitable. I do get that some people experience very strong triggering around certain foods, but unless there is a gun to your head you do have a choice. I promise things are not impossible.
This. Ironchef's advice is great.

Reinhard writes on p. 146:

"So be very careful when you use words like 'addiction' or 'craving' [or 'I have no self-control whatsoever']. By using terminology like this, you frame the problem in a way that suggests that it is hopeless, and that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy."

oolala53
Posts: 9814
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 5:16 pm

Almost everyone thinks she is an all-or-nothing person. Almost no one is. There is all-or-nothing thinking that usually leads to the behavior. If it is working for someone, there is no need to change her thinking. If it isn't, there's reason to examine it.

It's normal to feel a great pull to overeat highly palatable foods after restriction. It IS possible to feel that pull and not give in. The best thing is to have the food in a controlled atmosphere, savor it shamelessly, and make plans for diversionary activities for the rest of the day. The difficulty will vary over time. If you tend to eat it a lot when you're alone, commit to having it only in company.

Total abstinence is not the only way to handle strong habits. In fact, it's not even the most common way for many behaviors that don't involve alcohol and drugs.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 67
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There was no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

ckay21
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:03 am

reply to needing help

Post by ckay21 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:11 am

Hello. I am just reading about the no S diet and looking through the posts on the bulletin board. I read your post and must say I am very similar in feeling about sugar. I feel like I am addicted to sugar and should abstain from it altogether. One sweet is never enough and one sweet is too much. It sends me on a sugar seeking search that never seems to end. I have a lot of reading on the S diet to do yet and will read the posts - I think the no snacks, no sweets and no seconds are possible but I am very afraid of the S days.

ksbrowne
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:35 pm
Location: Georgia

Post by ksbrowne » Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:46 pm

My advice is, don't beat up on yourself. Relax. Have another go at it when you feel up for it. And know this ---- it WILL get easier! These good eating habits will become effortless, eventually. It took me a very long time to get it down and I am still kind of a work in progress. But it is getting much, much easier!

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