I'm posting a weekly thread from "Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy" by Linda Spangle. I hope it will serve to inspire and support many of you. It's one thing to follow No S, but it can also be another thing to stick with it for the long haul. I think that Linda Spangle's book can help with the "stick with it for the long haul" part! This may seem like a huge undertaking, but I am NOT typing the entire book here, just picking out sentences, ideas, thoughts, etc. to help people take note of what purpose the food is serving. I ordered this book from amazon.ca (amazon.com for those in the U.S.A.), and it cost less than $20.00 Canadian. If you like what you read here, then I think it would be a good idea to order the book. It's certainly helped me a lot.
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
There's absolutely nothing wrong with food or with enjoying it. Food helps us relax, gives us ways to celebrate, and connects us with our family and friends.
But all too often, food becomes an easy solution to dealing with our uncomfortable emotions. It also replaces what's missing in our lives - things like attention, pleasure, or loving relationships.
The definition of emotional eating: Using food for emotional or psychological reasons instead of for satisfying the body's physical requirement for food.
Whenever we go through major changes in life, food provides an anchor. As we scramble to adjust to new surroundings, we realize that food doesn't change. We can travel anywhere, go to any job, move to a new apartment, and food is still there! It makes us feel secure because it's something familiar.
Many people admit they use food as a drug, hoping to escape their uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. One woman spends all day taking care of other people's needs in her job as a human resources director. But once she gets home, food is her solace, giving her the comfort and validation that are missing in her work life. "I don't eat food; I use food! But I don't know how to survive without it."
Another person fears that if he couldn't use food for comfort, he wouldn't be able to cope. "For me, overeating is like pushing the 'mute' button on my life. But I keep doing it, because if I stop, life feels too awful to deal with."
When food routinely fills the emptiness in your life, it slips into the role of being your best friend. You can always count on food to be there for you and to take care of you. But at the same time you're comforting yourself with cheesecake or potato chips, you secretly know this friendship is ruining your life.
Start by realizing that the key to managing your weight begins with healing your heart, not filling your spoon. As you discover new ways to cope with the emotional issues of life, you'll move toward a sense of peace with food - a feeling you may have forgotten existed.
Food is wonderful!
In fact, food is my best friend,
but lately I'm aware that
my friend is hurting me,
making me uncomfortable,
sabotaging my goals,
causing me grief and guilt,
possibly destroying my life.
Today I made a decision -
it's time to get a new friend.
- Linda Spangle
NOTE from Operababe: If any of this resonates with you, try to journal or make notes on the days that you haven't followed your eating plan as well as you had hoped. What are you using food for? How is it helping you to cope? You may not know the answers to these questions, and if so, just write down what the situation was for that day. Where were you when you were eating? Who were you with? What time of day? How were you feeling? What kind of mood were you in? Etc., etc.
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Life is Hard, Food is Easy
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Life is Hard, Food is Easy
It's time to make it beautiful.
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
DebHi Y'all,
Here's some thoughts for week 2:
"Put Food In Its Place
Think about all the situations when your food intake has nothing to do with hunger or nutiritional needs. As you move toward managing emotional eating, you may need to redefine how you approach food, including why and when you will eat. In other words, you need to put food in its place!
From now on, determine that you'll eat for only two purposes: to fuel your body and to appreciate flavors. Measure all of your intake against these two guidelines. If your reason for putting something in your mouth doesn't match either one, you are probably doing emotional eating."
Guidelines that Linda highlights:
"Fuel your body. Car analogy: To get the best mileage out of your body, you'll want to fill your tank at intervals, stop when it's full, and use high-quality fuel. If you ignore "empty tank" signals like hunger or other physical signs, you're more likely to overeat or give into food temptations.
Don't skip meals. A minimum of three fuel stops a day. Keep the fuel intake consistent. Not eating breakfast, eating at odd times, or going too long between meals can contribute to weight gain. (with long periods of famine, the body stores calories for later use)
Stop wasting food. ....membership in the "Clean-Plate Club"? When you fill your car with gas, you don't keep pumping once the tank is full, spilling the fuel on the ground. So why would you do this with your body? Every time you eat food that your body doesn't need, you're wasting it!
If you struggle with the "clean your plate" messages, retrain yourself gradually by leaving one small piece of food uneaten at every meal. Stop giving food so much power that you can't leave some of it behind. Your weight and your health are more important than a leftover piece of cake.
'Jan was raised in a family that had strict rules about never throwing food away. As an adult, she held on to this pattern, even when it meant she would overeat. One evening, she decided to leave one green pea on her dinner plate. Each of the next several nights, she left a little more food, increasing the amount each time by the size of a pea. Eventually, Jan broke her old habit of feeling anxious or guilty if she didn't clean her plate.'
Eat to appreciate flavors. Eating to appreciate flavors is not the same as wolfing down your food, declaring how much you love to eat. It's allowing yourself to enjoy the taste, the texture, and the sensations of the food without immediately punishing yourself because of the calories.
To appreciate flavors:
Slow down. Try this exercise: At the start of your meal, set a timer or the alarm on your watch for twenty minutes. Pace yourself (even if you're having just a sandwich) so you will be finishing the last bite of your food when the time is up. You may be surprised at how hard it is to make a meal last this long.
Flavor or texture? Sometimes we enjoy the sensation of eating more than the food itself. Some days you want the chewiness of a steak and other times you want to sink your teeth into a soft doughnut. It's the way they feel inside your mouth.
The first two bites of any food have the most flavor. If you keep eating after that, you're just 'feeding'. Not only do those first bites have the most impact on your taste buds, they're also the only ones that have any nurturing power! You'll get whatever you want in those first two bites. Continuing to eat won't bring you relief if you're using the food to feel nurtured or calmed. In the end, you'll probably feel disappointed or frustrated with your behavior instead of healed by the food."
My thoughts:
For me, that was a big thing that I was trying to achieve with all the snacking I did: I needed to calm and nurture myself. I was unhappy and felt alone and insecure in a marriage that was depending on neglect to get by. Yet night after night, after dinner until bed, I kept making trips to the kitchen to get "a little something". All that behaviour did was turn me into a "big someone". What are you using food for? Are you fueling your body? Are you appreciating flavours? Have you put food in its place? If you are still finding yourself craving something sweet or salty, craving junk food, and yet you're not really physically hungry, then look at where you are, who you're with, what sort of situation are you involved with. Figure out what you're hoping the food will do for you. In the end, using food to deal with a difficult person or situation will not help you resolve anything, you'll just get fatter.
Just my 2 cents.
Next week, I'll continue with putting food in its place. Linda gets into the idea of "conscious eating" and there's 2 exercises to work on.
Here's some thoughts for week 2:
"Put Food In Its Place
Think about all the situations when your food intake has nothing to do with hunger or nutiritional needs. As you move toward managing emotional eating, you may need to redefine how you approach food, including why and when you will eat. In other words, you need to put food in its place!
From now on, determine that you'll eat for only two purposes: to fuel your body and to appreciate flavors. Measure all of your intake against these two guidelines. If your reason for putting something in your mouth doesn't match either one, you are probably doing emotional eating."
Guidelines that Linda highlights:
"Fuel your body. Car analogy: To get the best mileage out of your body, you'll want to fill your tank at intervals, stop when it's full, and use high-quality fuel. If you ignore "empty tank" signals like hunger or other physical signs, you're more likely to overeat or give into food temptations.
Don't skip meals. A minimum of three fuel stops a day. Keep the fuel intake consistent. Not eating breakfast, eating at odd times, or going too long between meals can contribute to weight gain. (with long periods of famine, the body stores calories for later use)
Stop wasting food. ....membership in the "Clean-Plate Club"? When you fill your car with gas, you don't keep pumping once the tank is full, spilling the fuel on the ground. So why would you do this with your body? Every time you eat food that your body doesn't need, you're wasting it!
If you struggle with the "clean your plate" messages, retrain yourself gradually by leaving one small piece of food uneaten at every meal. Stop giving food so much power that you can't leave some of it behind. Your weight and your health are more important than a leftover piece of cake.
'Jan was raised in a family that had strict rules about never throwing food away. As an adult, she held on to this pattern, even when it meant she would overeat. One evening, she decided to leave one green pea on her dinner plate. Each of the next several nights, she left a little more food, increasing the amount each time by the size of a pea. Eventually, Jan broke her old habit of feeling anxious or guilty if she didn't clean her plate.'
Eat to appreciate flavors. Eating to appreciate flavors is not the same as wolfing down your food, declaring how much you love to eat. It's allowing yourself to enjoy the taste, the texture, and the sensations of the food without immediately punishing yourself because of the calories.
To appreciate flavors:
Slow down. Try this exercise: At the start of your meal, set a timer or the alarm on your watch for twenty minutes. Pace yourself (even if you're having just a sandwich) so you will be finishing the last bite of your food when the time is up. You may be surprised at how hard it is to make a meal last this long.
Flavor or texture? Sometimes we enjoy the sensation of eating more than the food itself. Some days you want the chewiness of a steak and other times you want to sink your teeth into a soft doughnut. It's the way they feel inside your mouth.
The first two bites of any food have the most flavor. If you keep eating after that, you're just 'feeding'. Not only do those first bites have the most impact on your taste buds, they're also the only ones that have any nurturing power! You'll get whatever you want in those first two bites. Continuing to eat won't bring you relief if you're using the food to feel nurtured or calmed. In the end, you'll probably feel disappointed or frustrated with your behavior instead of healed by the food."
My thoughts:
For me, that was a big thing that I was trying to achieve with all the snacking I did: I needed to calm and nurture myself. I was unhappy and felt alone and insecure in a marriage that was depending on neglect to get by. Yet night after night, after dinner until bed, I kept making trips to the kitchen to get "a little something". All that behaviour did was turn me into a "big someone". What are you using food for? Are you fueling your body? Are you appreciating flavours? Have you put food in its place? If you are still finding yourself craving something sweet or salty, craving junk food, and yet you're not really physically hungry, then look at where you are, who you're with, what sort of situation are you involved with. Figure out what you're hoping the food will do for you. In the end, using food to deal with a difficult person or situation will not help you resolve anything, you'll just get fatter.
Just my 2 cents.
Next week, I'll continue with putting food in its place. Linda gets into the idea of "conscious eating" and there's 2 exercises to work on.
It's time to make it beautiful.
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This path is my life
- Posts: 132
- Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:04 pm
- Location: Neither here nor there
Operababe,
Thank you so much for posting these quotes and thoughts. They are personally very helpful to me and I'm sure for many other people here too. It's always nice to have a reminder of the place that food should and CAN ideally occupy in our lives.
I'm looknig forward to next week's post!!
Thanks again and have a great day
Thank you so much for posting these quotes and thoughts. They are personally very helpful to me and I'm sure for many other people here too. It's always nice to have a reminder of the place that food should and CAN ideally occupy in our lives.
I'm looknig forward to next week's post!!
Thanks again and have a great day
"There is no such thing as a bad choice, there is only the next choice"
A thank you to Deb, Sue, and Jenn for your comments. It's always appreciated!
Conscious Eating
How often do you eat without being aware of your actions? You can do a lot of damage with "unconscious eating," sometimes not even realizing that it's contributing to your weight gain. When you eat for fuel, staying conscious of what you're eating helps you recognize when the tank is full. And if your goal is to appreciate flavors, you want to be sure you notice the taste of what you are eating.
To build awareness of your actions around food, take a close look at where and when you eat. Do you use the drive-through window at a fast-food restaurant, then devour your sandwich while you're on the road? While it might feel like you are saving time, it's easy to eat without realizing you're doing it.
Exercise: Do I Really Love This Food?
The next time you dig into a food you would typically "love", take a small bite of the food and ask yourself how it tastes. Is it good? Wonderful? Just fair?
Take another bite, asking the same questions. Is the temperature perfect or is it a little too warm or too cold?
Evaluate what you like best about this food. Is it the taste, the texture, the seasonings? Do you like how it feels in your mouth? Determine whether the food is meeting your expectations. Is it truly awesome or do you feel a bit disappointed with it? Next, decide if the food is enjoyable enough to continue eating. If you realize it's not tasting great, STOP! Don't keep eating, hoping it will get better - because it won't.
Improving Your Awareness
Staying aware of your food doesn't require that you do nothing else when you eat. Instead, you simply need to remind yourself that you're eating, then notice the bites you're putting into your mouth. Make an effort to stay focused on your food, even if you watch TV or do other activities while you are eating.
Eating with awareness gives you an amazing amount of enjoyment and satisfaction. And when you get what you wanted from the food, your craving usually stops and you discover you don't need to keep eating more.
Next time you eat a favorite food, savor it carefully. Take small bites, about the size of a fourth of a teaspoon, and pay careful attention to the food as you eat it. Notice if it's matching the taste you expected and evaluate whether you want to keep eating. Savoring works especially well with sweet things and desserts, but it can also give you a fresh appreciation for foods like green beans, cheeses, or pasta.
Exercise: Savoring
Here's a simple technique to help you eat with more awareness and be sure you get what you want from your food. My favorite candy for this exercise is a little three-layer Andes-brand mint. Unwrap the mint and begin eating it slowly, biting off each of the corners, one at a time. As you eat, notice how the candy feels in your mouth. Pay special attention to the separate flavors of chocolate and mint as well as the texture.
Next, eat half of what's left, then finish the mint. You should get a total of six bites from the candy. As you finish, focus on the sensation of swallowing. Picture the mint sliding down your throat and into your stomach. Let yourself "feel" the candy as well as taste it. Once you finish this exercise, ask yourself if you want another mint. Usually, the answer is "no".
My thoughts:
Appreciating flavours is a big deal, because it's a new revolutionary approach to eating for me. Also, from last week, the idea that all of the flavour is only in the first two bites. After that, you're just fueling your body. I tried that with a dessert last weekend, and after the first two bites, I realized it was true. I ate another 2 bites, and then I stopped. I pushed the rest of the dessert away, and that was it. Mindless eating is a common habit with many of us. My goal is to be aware of the first two bites of everything I eat today. Just those two bites, savour them, and learn from them. Do I really need to eat all of this? Could I be satisfied with less?
Conscious Eating
How often do you eat without being aware of your actions? You can do a lot of damage with "unconscious eating," sometimes not even realizing that it's contributing to your weight gain. When you eat for fuel, staying conscious of what you're eating helps you recognize when the tank is full. And if your goal is to appreciate flavors, you want to be sure you notice the taste of what you are eating.
To build awareness of your actions around food, take a close look at where and when you eat. Do you use the drive-through window at a fast-food restaurant, then devour your sandwich while you're on the road? While it might feel like you are saving time, it's easy to eat without realizing you're doing it.
Exercise: Do I Really Love This Food?
The next time you dig into a food you would typically "love", take a small bite of the food and ask yourself how it tastes. Is it good? Wonderful? Just fair?
Take another bite, asking the same questions. Is the temperature perfect or is it a little too warm or too cold?
Evaluate what you like best about this food. Is it the taste, the texture, the seasonings? Do you like how it feels in your mouth? Determine whether the food is meeting your expectations. Is it truly awesome or do you feel a bit disappointed with it? Next, decide if the food is enjoyable enough to continue eating. If you realize it's not tasting great, STOP! Don't keep eating, hoping it will get better - because it won't.
Improving Your Awareness
Staying aware of your food doesn't require that you do nothing else when you eat. Instead, you simply need to remind yourself that you're eating, then notice the bites you're putting into your mouth. Make an effort to stay focused on your food, even if you watch TV or do other activities while you are eating.
Eating with awareness gives you an amazing amount of enjoyment and satisfaction. And when you get what you wanted from the food, your craving usually stops and you discover you don't need to keep eating more.
Next time you eat a favorite food, savor it carefully. Take small bites, about the size of a fourth of a teaspoon, and pay careful attention to the food as you eat it. Notice if it's matching the taste you expected and evaluate whether you want to keep eating. Savoring works especially well with sweet things and desserts, but it can also give you a fresh appreciation for foods like green beans, cheeses, or pasta.
Exercise: Savoring
Here's a simple technique to help you eat with more awareness and be sure you get what you want from your food. My favorite candy for this exercise is a little three-layer Andes-brand mint. Unwrap the mint and begin eating it slowly, biting off each of the corners, one at a time. As you eat, notice how the candy feels in your mouth. Pay special attention to the separate flavors of chocolate and mint as well as the texture.
Next, eat half of what's left, then finish the mint. You should get a total of six bites from the candy. As you finish, focus on the sensation of swallowing. Picture the mint sliding down your throat and into your stomach. Let yourself "feel" the candy as well as taste it. Once you finish this exercise, ask yourself if you want another mint. Usually, the answer is "no".
My thoughts:
Appreciating flavours is a big deal, because it's a new revolutionary approach to eating for me. Also, from last week, the idea that all of the flavour is only in the first two bites. After that, you're just fueling your body. I tried that with a dessert last weekend, and after the first two bites, I realized it was true. I ate another 2 bites, and then I stopped. I pushed the rest of the dessert away, and that was it. Mindless eating is a common habit with many of us. My goal is to be aware of the first two bites of everything I eat today. Just those two bites, savour them, and learn from them. Do I really need to eat all of this? Could I be satisfied with less?
It's time to make it beautiful.
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This path is my life
- Posts: 132
- Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:04 pm
- Location: Neither here nor there
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Jammin' Jan
- Posts: 2002
- Joined: Thu May 05, 2005 2:55 pm
- Location: The Village
Thanks Jenn and Jan for your encouragement. The two of you are two more examples how wonderful the support is here with No S.
What's Going On?
In my weight management work, I've discovered that food choices often act as a mirror, showing exactly which emotions are prompting our desire to eat. Not knowing what we want also points toward specific emotional needs. In this first step of conquering emotional eating, you will learn how to assess what's causing you to look for food.
Whenever you recognize a non-hungry desire to eat, STOP and ask yourself what's affecting you at that moment. By analyzing your immediate situation, you can jump to an alternate plan of action and avoid eating.
Head Hunger or Heart Hunger?
...I began paying attention to how I felt when I ate certain foods and I discovered some interesting connections. I noticed that when I felt stressed or frustrated, I looked for "chewy" foods like cookies or candy bars. But when I was struggling with sadness or grief, I preferred soft ones like ice cream or my own homemade macaroni casseroles.
When fighting stress, anger, or frustration, people typically reached for foods that were chewy or crunchy. They really wanted to "chew" on something in life - their employers, their children, or even projects or deadlines. Because this pressure-related eating seemed to be generated by specific thoughts or attitudes, I labeled it head hunger.
Other times, my clients would describe eating to cope with hollow or restless feelings like boredom, depression, or loneliness. When experiencing these "empty" emotions, they typically chose soft, creamy-textured foods or "comfort foods" like ice cream, pasta, or chocolate. Because this type of eating seemed connected to the "lack" of things, such as love or attention, I labeled it heart hunger.
With practice, you can learn how to distinguish easily between these two types of emotional eating. Once you identify what's driving your desire to eat, you can take care of what you really need, instead of burying your emotions under a plate of brownies or in a bag of potato chips.
My Thoughts:
I definitely fit in the heart hunger category with most of my emotional eating. The fact that Linda Spangle shows how this sort of hunger comes from "empty" emotions comes through loud and clear. What about you? What sort of hunger do you have? What is going on in your life that allows for these sorts of hungers? The author says initially it may be difficult to sort through your feelings, but to keep searching. Unless there's real physical hunger, there's sure to be an emotional connection for eating. It's time to look at your life and learn what the emotional connection is.
Next time, I'll type in more details about Head and Heart hungers.
What's Going On?
In my weight management work, I've discovered that food choices often act as a mirror, showing exactly which emotions are prompting our desire to eat. Not knowing what we want also points toward specific emotional needs. In this first step of conquering emotional eating, you will learn how to assess what's causing you to look for food.
Whenever you recognize a non-hungry desire to eat, STOP and ask yourself what's affecting you at that moment. By analyzing your immediate situation, you can jump to an alternate plan of action and avoid eating.
Head Hunger or Heart Hunger?
...I began paying attention to how I felt when I ate certain foods and I discovered some interesting connections. I noticed that when I felt stressed or frustrated, I looked for "chewy" foods like cookies or candy bars. But when I was struggling with sadness or grief, I preferred soft ones like ice cream or my own homemade macaroni casseroles.
When fighting stress, anger, or frustration, people typically reached for foods that were chewy or crunchy. They really wanted to "chew" on something in life - their employers, their children, or even projects or deadlines. Because this pressure-related eating seemed to be generated by specific thoughts or attitudes, I labeled it head hunger.
Other times, my clients would describe eating to cope with hollow or restless feelings like boredom, depression, or loneliness. When experiencing these "empty" emotions, they typically chose soft, creamy-textured foods or "comfort foods" like ice cream, pasta, or chocolate. Because this type of eating seemed connected to the "lack" of things, such as love or attention, I labeled it heart hunger.
With practice, you can learn how to distinguish easily between these two types of emotional eating. Once you identify what's driving your desire to eat, you can take care of what you really need, instead of burying your emotions under a plate of brownies or in a bag of potato chips.
My Thoughts:
I definitely fit in the heart hunger category with most of my emotional eating. The fact that Linda Spangle shows how this sort of hunger comes from "empty" emotions comes through loud and clear. What about you? What sort of hunger do you have? What is going on in your life that allows for these sorts of hungers? The author says initially it may be difficult to sort through your feelings, but to keep searching. Unless there's real physical hunger, there's sure to be an emotional connection for eating. It's time to look at your life and learn what the emotional connection is.
Next time, I'll type in more details about Head and Heart hungers.
It's time to make it beautiful.
Operababe-
That was really interesting. I never thought about analyzing the type of food to determine what kind of hunger (head or heart.) Last night I was sitting there fighting the urge to go buy M&Ms or ice cream. After reading your post, I can see that I was a bit bored and sorry for myself because it was the last S day for 5 more days and after a very busy weekend I didn't have a really good book to read.
When I write it, it sounds kind of lame, but still, it's good to know.
Thanks for your post.
Monica
That was really interesting. I never thought about analyzing the type of food to determine what kind of hunger (head or heart.) Last night I was sitting there fighting the urge to go buy M&Ms or ice cream. After reading your post, I can see that I was a bit bored and sorry for myself because it was the last S day for 5 more days and after a very busy weekend I didn't have a really good book to read.
When I write it, it sounds kind of lame, but still, it's good to know.
Thanks for your post.
Monica
Monica, it's not lame at all! In fact, it's wonderful that you can look back and recognize the situation that could trigger over eating. You have already taken the first step. After being overweight for many years, I am just learning that long lasting weight loss and health will only happen if we figure out what's behind the eating. If it's true physical hunger and you're savouring your food, then you are on the right path. If you find yourself downing a tub of ice cream even though you've had dinner and your stomach is not empty, then there's an underlying emotional thread happening and you're using the food to pull you away from letting those feelings happen.
Gosh, I hope that makes sense.
Basically, we know that emotional thread is there, so the eating lets you not acknowledge the emotion. You are distracted, pulled away, you can avoid feeling. So now you can say, I am bored, and I feel lonely because there's no one to talk to, there's nothing to do, no one's asked me out, etc., and so you let yourself eat. That's the key, you LET yourself eat, you ALLOW this to happen. Instead, why not pull out a journal and write about those feelings. That is one way that may allow you to feel the feelings attached to the boredom. The loneliness, the sadness, etc. And if you let yourself feel? What's the worst thing that would happen? You may cry, you may feel angry, you may throw something. But you would start FEELING, and while it may seem like a bad thing, it's really a good thing. It means that instead of eating, you will be feeling. There's nothing lame about that at all, not at all.
Oh my, I'm tempted to erase all of this, but I won't. Monica, you've unleashed something here in me, hope it doesn't scare you away! But I think we have to dialogue about using food to deal with emotions. For me, it's the primary reason why I've gotten fat and unhealthy. No amount of willpower is going to make me stay on track. The key: getting to the source of the overeating. Getting to the feelings. That's where success lies, teaching ourselves to feel instead of eat.
OK, I know I've probably said too much, but that's the human being in me.
As Deb would say, peace and love to all.
Gosh, I hope that makes sense.
Basically, we know that emotional thread is there, so the eating lets you not acknowledge the emotion. You are distracted, pulled away, you can avoid feeling. So now you can say, I am bored, and I feel lonely because there's no one to talk to, there's nothing to do, no one's asked me out, etc., and so you let yourself eat. That's the key, you LET yourself eat, you ALLOW this to happen. Instead, why not pull out a journal and write about those feelings. That is one way that may allow you to feel the feelings attached to the boredom. The loneliness, the sadness, etc. And if you let yourself feel? What's the worst thing that would happen? You may cry, you may feel angry, you may throw something. But you would start FEELING, and while it may seem like a bad thing, it's really a good thing. It means that instead of eating, you will be feeling. There's nothing lame about that at all, not at all.
Oh my, I'm tempted to erase all of this, but I won't. Monica, you've unleashed something here in me, hope it doesn't scare you away! But I think we have to dialogue about using food to deal with emotions. For me, it's the primary reason why I've gotten fat and unhealthy. No amount of willpower is going to make me stay on track. The key: getting to the source of the overeating. Getting to the feelings. That's where success lies, teaching ourselves to feel instead of eat.
OK, I know I've probably said too much, but that's the human being in me.
As Deb would say, peace and love to all.
It's time to make it beautiful.
No, you didn't scare me away; I love this NoS habit. I'm not real big, but I don't think there is much difference between the mental issues if you need to lose 200 pounds or 20 pounds. It's an attitude toward food and it's using food to self-medicate (kind of what you just said.) I'm going to try to reflect more about why I get the urge to eat sweets and snacks.
I like NoS because it is so sensible and I can look forward to eating what I want. Generally, my 3 meals are healthy and have a variety of foods, but if I want to go to 7-11 and get junky nachos once in a while for lunch, no problem. Just knowing I have that freedom to eat anything (except no snacks, sweets, or seconds on N days) releases me from feeling like I'm on a diet. I just tell people that I'm trying to cultivate healthier eating habits when they ask if I'm on a diet.
Monica
I like NoS because it is so sensible and I can look forward to eating what I want. Generally, my 3 meals are healthy and have a variety of foods, but if I want to go to 7-11 and get junky nachos once in a while for lunch, no problem. Just knowing I have that freedom to eat anything (except no snacks, sweets, or seconds on N days) releases me from feeling like I'm on a diet. I just tell people that I'm trying to cultivate healthier eating habits when they ask if I'm on a diet.
Monica
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
Hey Deb, I know it's been said before, but you say it best!
Monica, I'm glad you haven't run far far away! I can get a little intense sometimes. And you are 100% right, it's all about cultivating healthy eating habits. It is NOT about deprivation as in the old meaning of the word diet. It's about enjoying food and forming the habits that will let you live a long and healthy life. Bravo to you!
Monica, I'm glad you haven't run far far away! I can get a little intense sometimes. And you are 100% right, it's all about cultivating healthy eating habits. It is NOT about deprivation as in the old meaning of the word diet. It's about enjoying food and forming the habits that will let you live a long and healthy life. Bravo to you!
It's time to make it beautiful.
More on head hunger:
Head Hunger
Head hunger usually begins with a specific food thought or craving. You know exactly what you want. Your craving may be so precise that you make a special trip to the grocery store for your favorite brand of macadamia-nut cookies. ......Or you may get up in the middle of the night and drive to a fast-food restaurant. With head hunger, cravings often pop up quickly. One minute you feel fine, the next minute you desperately want a bag of peanuts or a candy bar. When you eat in response to head hunger, you usually know when you're done. You feel better for the moment. The food soothes your intense emotions and temporarily leaves you feeling calmer or more peaceful.
With head hunger, you typically look for foods that are chewy or crunchy. The chewiness and crunchiness of certain foods and the effort required to chew them provide "mouth satisfaction."
Foods with a dense, chewy texture also work for appeasing head hunger. Hamburgers, pizza, and chocolate all have a "smash-in-your-mouth" sensation that replaces what you'd really like to do to somebody or something else.
From the list below, identify which foods you are most likely to reach for when you experience a sudden craving:
Chewy foods: Candy bars, M&Ms, steak, chewy meats, trail mix, granola, fried foods
Crunchy foods: Nuts, breakfast cereal, popcorn, crackers
Texture foods: French fries, hot dogs, pizza, chocolate
When you recognize that you want a chewy or crunchy food, take a quick inventory of what might be bothering you. Ask yourself "What do I really want to chew on? What's irritating, stressing, or frustrating me right now?" Your answer might include kids, finances, friends, project deadlines, or a difficult job.
Head hunger is usually prompted by pressure-type emotions like anger, frustration, or resentment. Stress, deadlines, and people tend to be some of the most common reasons for head-hunger eating. When your tension level builds, you look for a quick way to get relief.
Stress and pressure make you feel impatient. Like an ice-cold drink on a blazing hot day, you want something that will take effect now. Techniques that would help you manage stress seem like too much work. You don't want to take time to play relaxing music, do yoga, or take a walk. Food is easier, a lot faster, and certainly much more fun!
Whenever you reach for food to help you "calm down," recognize that head hunger is driving your behavior. Even a series of small irritations can lead to head-hunger eating. Hassles stack on top of each other like building blocks until eventually the pile topples over. When you "lose it" and start driving to the nearest fast-food restaurant, head hunger wins.
Common Head Hunger Emotions:
Anger
Irritation
Stress
Feeling overwhelmed
Resentment
Self-disgust
Frustration
Unfairness
Burnout
Deadlines, pressures
Bitterness
Desire for excitement
Once you identify what you want to "chew on", ask yourself, "Will eating change this issue?" Will food take away the cause of your stress or alter your child's behavior or eliminate a project deadline? Of course not. Eating might seem to fix the problem, because when you eat, you briefly feel calmer or less angry. But after the food is gone, the situation will still be there, often contributing to you eating again. Head hunger eating simply postpones what you really need to do to cope with life.
You don't need a complicated diet plan to manage head hunger cravings. What you do need are quick solutions that provide buffers between you and what's causing you to eat. Start by creating a list of things you can do instead of eating.
Some "insteads" to get you started:
1. Walk until you feel better, whether that takes ten minutes or an hour.
2. Pound on your pillow until your arms are too tired to lift food to your mouth.
3. Take several deep breaths. Sigh loudly with each one.
4. Clean something you never get around to, like a closet or the "junk" drawer.
5. Go to a move and ignore the concession stand. Focus on the acting and the scenery, then pretend you're a movie critic and write your own review.
6. Read something that absorbs you. Plan ahead so you have a couple of good "diversion" books available.
7. Wait ten minutes before eating anything. During that time, intentionally do something positive --- clean off the top of your desk, brush your cat, rinse out the coffee pot --- or do something nice for somebody else.
After you finish planning things to do instead of eating, select a few that are your favorites. Put these on a list to use as your "first response" to emotional hunger. When you start getting a food craving, immediately do at least one of your "first response" items.
My thoughts:
Head hunger is a dangerous hunger because it's specific and it's sudden. I think the idea of a "first response" list is excellent. For me, my first response list:
1. Brush my teeth or chew gum
2. Telephone a friend
3. Do some cleaning
4. Go for a walk
Walking is number 4 because I need something that's immediate, getting out a piece of gum or calling a friend are quick and easy things to do as a first response.
But I think the first response list is just to tide you through until you confront the emotions/situation that got you into the head hunger space in the first place. I look at the list of common head hunger emotions and oh boy, a lot of them resonate with me. How about you? What do you recognize here? And what are you doing to cope? Are you reaching for pizza? Or are you pounding your pillow until your arms get too tired? (I might just have a pillow at my office that I can punch to my "head hunger's" content!)
Head Hunger
Head hunger usually begins with a specific food thought or craving. You know exactly what you want. Your craving may be so precise that you make a special trip to the grocery store for your favorite brand of macadamia-nut cookies. ......Or you may get up in the middle of the night and drive to a fast-food restaurant. With head hunger, cravings often pop up quickly. One minute you feel fine, the next minute you desperately want a bag of peanuts or a candy bar. When you eat in response to head hunger, you usually know when you're done. You feel better for the moment. The food soothes your intense emotions and temporarily leaves you feeling calmer or more peaceful.
With head hunger, you typically look for foods that are chewy or crunchy. The chewiness and crunchiness of certain foods and the effort required to chew them provide "mouth satisfaction."
Foods with a dense, chewy texture also work for appeasing head hunger. Hamburgers, pizza, and chocolate all have a "smash-in-your-mouth" sensation that replaces what you'd really like to do to somebody or something else.
From the list below, identify which foods you are most likely to reach for when you experience a sudden craving:
Chewy foods: Candy bars, M&Ms, steak, chewy meats, trail mix, granola, fried foods
Crunchy foods: Nuts, breakfast cereal, popcorn, crackers
Texture foods: French fries, hot dogs, pizza, chocolate
When you recognize that you want a chewy or crunchy food, take a quick inventory of what might be bothering you. Ask yourself "What do I really want to chew on? What's irritating, stressing, or frustrating me right now?" Your answer might include kids, finances, friends, project deadlines, or a difficult job.
Head hunger is usually prompted by pressure-type emotions like anger, frustration, or resentment. Stress, deadlines, and people tend to be some of the most common reasons for head-hunger eating. When your tension level builds, you look for a quick way to get relief.
Stress and pressure make you feel impatient. Like an ice-cold drink on a blazing hot day, you want something that will take effect now. Techniques that would help you manage stress seem like too much work. You don't want to take time to play relaxing music, do yoga, or take a walk. Food is easier, a lot faster, and certainly much more fun!
Whenever you reach for food to help you "calm down," recognize that head hunger is driving your behavior. Even a series of small irritations can lead to head-hunger eating. Hassles stack on top of each other like building blocks until eventually the pile topples over. When you "lose it" and start driving to the nearest fast-food restaurant, head hunger wins.
Common Head Hunger Emotions:
Anger
Irritation
Stress
Feeling overwhelmed
Resentment
Self-disgust
Frustration
Unfairness
Burnout
Deadlines, pressures
Bitterness
Desire for excitement
Once you identify what you want to "chew on", ask yourself, "Will eating change this issue?" Will food take away the cause of your stress or alter your child's behavior or eliminate a project deadline? Of course not. Eating might seem to fix the problem, because when you eat, you briefly feel calmer or less angry. But after the food is gone, the situation will still be there, often contributing to you eating again. Head hunger eating simply postpones what you really need to do to cope with life.
You don't need a complicated diet plan to manage head hunger cravings. What you do need are quick solutions that provide buffers between you and what's causing you to eat. Start by creating a list of things you can do instead of eating.
Some "insteads" to get you started:
1. Walk until you feel better, whether that takes ten minutes or an hour.
2. Pound on your pillow until your arms are too tired to lift food to your mouth.
3. Take several deep breaths. Sigh loudly with each one.
4. Clean something you never get around to, like a closet or the "junk" drawer.
5. Go to a move and ignore the concession stand. Focus on the acting and the scenery, then pretend you're a movie critic and write your own review.
6. Read something that absorbs you. Plan ahead so you have a couple of good "diversion" books available.
7. Wait ten minutes before eating anything. During that time, intentionally do something positive --- clean off the top of your desk, brush your cat, rinse out the coffee pot --- or do something nice for somebody else.
After you finish planning things to do instead of eating, select a few that are your favorites. Put these on a list to use as your "first response" to emotional hunger. When you start getting a food craving, immediately do at least one of your "first response" items.
My thoughts:
Head hunger is a dangerous hunger because it's specific and it's sudden. I think the idea of a "first response" list is excellent. For me, my first response list:
1. Brush my teeth or chew gum
2. Telephone a friend
3. Do some cleaning
4. Go for a walk
Walking is number 4 because I need something that's immediate, getting out a piece of gum or calling a friend are quick and easy things to do as a first response.
But I think the first response list is just to tide you through until you confront the emotions/situation that got you into the head hunger space in the first place. I look at the list of common head hunger emotions and oh boy, a lot of them resonate with me. How about you? What do you recognize here? And what are you doing to cope? Are you reaching for pizza? Or are you pounding your pillow until your arms get too tired? (I might just have a pillow at my office that I can punch to my "head hunger's" content!)
It's time to make it beautiful.
Good post...thank you.
I've been doing really well on NoS until this last week. My sister had a house fire and her legs from the knees to the toes were badly burned (2nd degree...it's pretty ugly). She and my nephew moved in with my husband and me (into the living room) with clothing, medical supplies, video games and so on. This has been stressful for all. I keep pretty calm (my big sister role) but I can tell it's getting to me because I have been having thoughts of M&Ms and salty popcorn.
Taking a walk with my husband helps, and I actually told her I needed alone time and didn't go with her to itemize burned items for the insurance company. Yeah! I said No to something for a change. And you know, someone else went over and helped her. I am not irreplacable (thank God.)
It helped to realize that head hunger can pass, and to think about what causes it.
I've been doing really well on NoS until this last week. My sister had a house fire and her legs from the knees to the toes were badly burned (2nd degree...it's pretty ugly). She and my nephew moved in with my husband and me (into the living room) with clothing, medical supplies, video games and so on. This has been stressful for all. I keep pretty calm (my big sister role) but I can tell it's getting to me because I have been having thoughts of M&Ms and salty popcorn.
Taking a walk with my husband helps, and I actually told her I needed alone time and didn't go with her to itemize burned items for the insurance company. Yeah! I said No to something for a change. And you know, someone else went over and helped her. I am not irreplacable (thank God.)
It helped to realize that head hunger can pass, and to think about what causes it.
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gratefuldeb67
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This path is my life
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Monica, this sounds like a very stressful situation for you, your husband, and your sister and nephew. Probably the smartest thing is to just get out of that house and walk. I'd be pulling out the caramel popcorn big time if I was in your situation. Oh, the CHEWING and the CRUNCHING and the "smash in your mouth" flavour and texture! Good for you for just strapping on your sneakers and getting out there. This is showing that you have realized that eating will not solve the problem. Kudos to you! I hope your sister manages to recover well from her burns (2nd degree is pretty serious), and that a place for her and your nephew comes available soon.
Thanks for your positive comments Jenn (and your caring words for Monica). I think Linda Spangle has written an amazing book, and it is helping me to think about everything that I need to change in order to successfully lose this weight and keep it off too.
And Deb, you're simply a gentle and loving soul.
Thanks for your positive comments Jenn (and your caring words for Monica). I think Linda Spangle has written an amazing book, and it is helping me to think about everything that I need to change in order to successfully lose this weight and keep it off too.
And Deb, you're simply a gentle and loving soul.
It's time to make it beautiful.