Do you tell people about it?

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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Iregirl
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Do you tell people about it?

Post by Iregirl » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:32 pm

Back when I first heard about No S (a few years ago) I talked about it a lot to people and wrote about it in my weblog. One friend in particular smugly said to me, "Well, it should just be called the 'No Shit' diet. There's nothing original to it. It's just common sense."

If it's common sense, why don't people do it, then? I always have the urge to tell anyone I see struggling with food issues about it. That's complicated now, though, by the fact that I choose not to tell anyone I'm doing this. I've always found in the past when trying any other diet that telling people makes me much more self-conscious and uncomfortable about it, and then I'm embarassed and unhappy when I eventually fall off the wagon and people see my failure.

Doing No S quietly is the easiest thing in the world. I said in my daily check-in that nobody thinks I'm doing anything out of the ordinary because it IS normal eating. Making a grand announcement or explaining the concept whenever I'm offered a cookie or candy seems like overkill.

So; do YOU tell your friends and family that you're No Essing? How do you approach it? I'm interested to know, because I haven't even told Chuck yet that I'm doing this, though he does know that I'm trying to eat less sugar.

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:56 am

If it's common sense, why don't people do it, then?
Well, maybe it's like some wise person whose name I can't remember right now said -- common sense isn't so common.

Beyond that, people don't trust themselves to make wise decisions about what and how to eat. They think some "expert" needs to tell them what to eat and give them a long list of rules to follow.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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British Chap
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Post by British Chap » Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:38 am

For me, talk is cheap.

I'd wait until people can see some visible results and then become intrigued about what's changed - they're then in a state to be open minded and learn.

The other time I'd talk about it is when people start to envy your habits and self control - then I'd share.

At the end of the day I hope you're doing this for you - because you want the benefits that come from health and self discipline. If it impresses other people as a side benefit, then great. I don't think you need to broadcast it though - your results will speak to themselves. Many diets produce short term results - long term sustainability is what will impress people.

Gareth

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Iregirl
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Post by Iregirl » Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:01 pm

I don't intend to talk about it unless someone notices I'm doing anything differently and asks me about it. Discussing a diet I'm on makes me feel like I'm accountable not only to myself, but to everyone around me. That can help some people, I suppose, but it's not what I'm looking for. I like having the No S forum and my daily check-in for that. Keeping it to myself is a result of doing this for me, not anyone else.

I'm NOT referring to talking about it as a way to impress people. What I mean is that this is actually a life-change we're making here and I'm curious about how other No Essers are handling that when it comes to those closest to them. I certainly didn't expect some of the sneering mockery I got a few years back when I told anyone who'd listen about this brilliantly simple plan. Now this time when I'm choosing to just quietly do it without broadcasting it I'm amazed at how nobody can even tell I'm dieting by what I'm doing, so healthy and NORMAL are these habits.

Another side effect of telling partners and loved ones about a diet (even this one) is that they may feel they have to police our eating habits. They can think that if they see us doing something that's outside of the rules they have to point it out or try to stop us. That can result in resentment on the part of the dieter, and frustration on the part of the loved one who wants to see us reach our goal, but feels that they have to shoulder some of the burden. It can get difficult and make following a diet suddenly feel like an obligation, not just a personal choice.

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JustAnnie
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Post by JustAnnie » Mon Dec 11, 2006 6:51 pm

I'm not even 24 hours into this yet, but you'd better believe that I will tell people about it right away. This is the first time I've started into an eating program that I KNOW I can do long term. It doesn't appear to be scary or intimidating at all. If nothing else, it's a logical, healthy way of approaching food and I know some people I'm going to share this with TODAY.
Just Annie

You Can't Fail Until You Quit Trying

mrs.cummings
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Post by mrs.cummings » Mon Dec 11, 2006 8:19 pm

I told my mom about because, not only is she very supportive of me, but she also has struggled with weight loss and healthy eating. After I told her about it, she started doing it too (though I'm not sure how consistent she's being...). We don't police each other at all, but it's nice to know someone is there to talk to who actually knows us and our situation (no offence meant to my forum friends... but you guys understand I'm sure).

I wasn't going to mention it to my hubbie (for the reasons mentioned by others) but my mom mentioned it. I didn't tell him it was a "diet" per se, just that I was going to try to not snack etc. I guess I played it down to him. I know this was the right thing to do because immediately after I told him what I did, he was saying that he got to have veto power if he thought I needed a snack. (I have blood sugar problems on a fairly regular basis, so he has a reason for saying this besides being controlling.)

I told him that I have veto power over his veto power, and while I don't think he was happy with that, he must have realized by now (3 weeks later) that he doesn't need veto power because this is working!

I haven't even considered telling anyone else, but my mom has told everyone in our family and I imagine 100s of other people too. :D Moms... what can you do? :exasperated but loving sigh:

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Post by silverfish » Mon Dec 11, 2006 9:21 pm

"Common sense isn't"
:)


I also wait until people ask - they then take it upon themselves to tell everyone else! (Sometimes they misinterpret - one of my colleagues told my boss I was on the "no-sex" diet).

It is a lifestyle change, but both dramatic and subtle, so often people don't notice that you are eating differently (from them - usually you aren't). They notice the results, though - energy and attitude etc.


Kathleen
(for the record, down 53 pounds since June 2005 - if you track BMI, that's from 35 to 27.5)

J Ellis
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Post by J Ellis » Mon Dec 11, 2006 9:50 pm

A person clearly needs to walk a fine line here. On one hand, you don't want to come across as a show-off (especially when you don't have any results to show). On the other hand, you are more likely to be accountable if you have told others about your plans and goals.

Perhaps choosing a few individuals to tell about your plan without announcing it to the world would be a beneficial compromise.

Joel

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Iregirl
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Post by Iregirl » Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:19 pm

I know that if I were to tell Chuck that I'm doing No S he'd be very supportive and would listen if I told him not to police my efforts. To be honest, just having told him I'm cutting back on sugar has been enough. He's making sure not to bring me home sugary treats or soda, and that's very helpful to me.

If anyone asks me what I'm doing differently (and I look forward to the day that someone does, honestly), I'm just going to say that I've been cutting down on sugar in my diet and increasing my levels of physical activity. It's the truth, after all.

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:52 am

I don't hide what I'm doing, but I don't talk about it either, unless it's an issue -- which, thanks to no-s's unobtrusiveness, doesn't happen often. Accountability is good, but accountability is different than grand gestures.

I find that making grand public resolutions isn't very effective. I think the reason is the thespian in you thinks "I've already gotten what I'm going to get out of this -- A GREAT SHOW. Keeping at it is rather dull and much harder..."

Delay dramatic gratification and string your internal thespian along, and ultimately you wind up with both good results and a much better dramatic show.

From Death of a Salesman:
CHARLEY: How do you like this kid? Gonna argue a case in front of the Supreme Court.

...

WILLY: The Supreme Court! And he didn't even mention it!

CHARLEY: He don't have to -- he's gonna do it.
Much as I'd love for you all to spread the nosdiet word far and wide, I'd love even more for you to succeed at it.

Reinhard

Kwag Myers
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Post by Kwag Myers » Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:31 pm

I tend to be one of those people who tell everyone I know EVERYTHING I'm excited about--I'm like a little kid. However, I'm working at not letting my inner child drive the bus and trying to let my life speak for itself.

Having said that I will say I did share the No-S link with one of my co-workers. She's in the tenuous phase of Weight Watchers--where she lost a fair amount of weight and is beginning to gain it back and is recognizing this and wants to get things back in control but is resenting what she has to do on said WW in order to lose what she regained so she can continue losing what she needed to in the first place. She read the information and commented on how it made a lot of sense.

Yesterday I saw her counting pretzels in the back room.


I guess I have mixed emotions about this issue because, after all, if wosnes hadn't sent me the link, I might never had had the opportunity to join in. I think the secret is she sent me the information and said she thought it might be of interest to me...and then she completely backed off and let ME choose. I do believe this is good and valuable and life changing information, and I'll probably share it with certain people who I know would greatly benefit from it. But I'll keep in mind it's up to them whether or not they actually apply any of it to their daily lives.
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." --James Taylor

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Tue Dec 12, 2006 4:04 pm

Kwag Myers told me about her three meals a day plan from her 12-Step days, and it reminded me of this. So, I sent her the 14-word description of the plan plus a little more info from the home page and the link. About the only other thing I said about the program was that it was simple, sensible and reminded me of traditional ways of eating.
I think the secret is she sent me the information and said she thought it might be of interest to me...and then she completely backed off and let ME choose.
Totally unlike me -- especially if I'm excited or interested in something.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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Iregirl
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Post by Iregirl » Tue Dec 12, 2006 5:28 pm

Kwag Myers wrote: I guess I have mixed emotions about this issue because, after all, if wosnes hadn't sent me the link, I might never had had the opportunity to join in. I think the secret is she sent me the information and said she thought it might be of interest to me...and then she completely backed off and let ME choose. I do believe this is good and valuable and life changing information, and I'll probably share it with certain people who I know would greatly benefit from it. But I'll keep in mind it's up to them whether or not they actually apply any of it to their daily lives.
See, this is where I start to have doubts about my approach, because not sharing it at all feels like I'm not doing anyone any favours: the people who'd really benefit from learning about No S or Reinhard himself, who at the very least deserves recognition.

So, I think my best approach is to wait until someone notices that I'm losing weight and getting more fit. If that person is also someone who could benefit from No S I'll tell them about the specifics. If it's not then I'll just go the 'less sugar, more exercise' route. The 'naturally' slender people were the ones who tended to be more derisive in the first place.

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navin
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Post by navin » Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:23 pm

As far as telling, I won't make an explicit effort to tell people, but I'm not making an explicit effort *not* to tell people either.

For instance, yeah, if somebody notices something and says "what's your secret?" or something to that effect, then that is a perfect lead for No-S evangelism. I'll also explain if I need a good explanation for not eating sweets during the week. And, of couse, if discussions of weight loss strategies come up (have several co-workers that do Weight Watchers, for instance), then I'll mention it.
Before criticizing someone, you should try walking a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:58 pm

Yes, navin. Just to be clear: I don't advocate hiding what you're doing -- I just don't advocate getting on a stage and making a big show about it either. Especially if you've just started.

Once you've done it for a while, no-s will start to ooze out of you. People won't necessarily notice what you're doing: they'll notice what you've done: become thinner and more relaxed about eating.

Reinhard

deryck
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Post by deryck » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:24 pm

My wife knows "I am being careful", but she still has not noticed my weight lose. It reminds me of this scene from House:

Dr. Gregory House: Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your wife is having an affair.
Orange patient: What?
Dr. Gregory House: You're *orange*, you moron. And it's one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colours, she's just not paying attention.

I think she's just too busy at the moment. I wonder when she will. :D

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~reneew
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Post by ~reneew » Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:18 pm

I thought this deserved a bump up.

I told my family right away because I was excited and thought I'd get support. Well... I did for a while, then I'd hear:

"Are you supposed to have that?"
"it's not Suesday Mom."
"Are you loosing?"
"that plate sure is full"
"shhhh, don't tempt Mom, she can't have any" (like I can't hear the whispering)
"I'm so glad you're doing well... I've been worried about you"
"how much have you lost?" or worse yet...
"how much do you need to loose?"
"you should try ..."
"Oh, I only made enough for us" (like I can't save some for later)

and the most common one I hear...
"Mom, want some? Oh, that's right... you CAN'T! ha ha ha"
I guess this doesn't work unless you actually do it.
Please pray for me

frugaltexan
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Post by frugaltexan » Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:20 am

I've shared about No-s with several people in real life, as well as people in my circle of blogosphere.

The reception has been mixed. Some people have responded by talking about how snacks are so important to keeping up their blood sugar levels ... others tell me they think it's too much of a variance in eating patterns ... and one - that I know of :) has joined the board. D

My mom was one who when I first told her about it was very skeptical. At first she made some snide remarks. But I think she's started to see that it actually is working for me. Over Thanksgiving she even remarked to me that she'd noticed that I'm eating less than her.

I haven't been quite so vocal about it lately - probably because I've already mentioned it to most of my immediate circle of influence.
But I bet I'll have new people to tell over the holidays. :D
5'9 -- Laura --

Started July 23, 2009 -- 246.6
Restart: June 13, 2010 - 241.6
July 18, 2010 -- 235 .... - 11.6 lb loss in ~1 yr.
Back Again: January 13, 2012 -- 242.2 lbs

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Jammin' Jan
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Post by Jammin' Jan » Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:08 pm

I have mentioned No-S to a couple of people I work with, in the general context of a conversation. And my family knows about it. It's all very low-key. Mostly I like the un-obtrusiveness of the whole thing, the self-control, and the ease of eating real food, especially in restaurants.
"Self-denial's a great sweetener of pleasure."
(Patrick McGoohan's "The Prisoner")

Starla
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Post by Starla » Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:08 pm

My mother is the one who told me about this, and I'm so thankful for that, but it came only after I asked. She's lost a significant amount of weight, and I asked if she's doing anything special. She told me about No S, I looked it up, and started the next day. Thanksgiving weekend I talked about it to my sister and loaned her the book, but I'll leave it at that.

Some of my work friends know all about it and have been very supportive. I'll wait until my non-work friends say something, but then I won't hesitate to tell them.

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palm_tree
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Post by palm_tree » Wed Dec 09, 2009 11:33 pm

I've told no one, don't intend to.

I'll let others speak first.

When they tell me I look smaller.

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Post by sporkfancier » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:17 pm

palm_tree wrote:I've told no one, don't intend to.

I'll let others speak first.

When they tell me I look smaller.
This is what I've done. It makes people far more interested in the program. I've bought almost half-a-dozen copies of the book and handed them out, and I've never talked about it without being asked.
Shovel glove? Isn't that the size of prophylactic I use?

mrsj
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Post by mrsj » Tue Dec 15, 2009 7:05 am

I'm keeping quiet about this. All of my friends and DH have seen me diet through the years and seen me shrink and grow. There's not really that much to notice. I eat what's on my plate and that's it. I'm not snacking in the evening. Instead I knit. If the weather is nasty I'll do heavy duty housework and "home range".
DH has noticed that the house is nicer...
Nothing is impossible-only improbable.

TunaFishKid
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Post by TunaFishKid » Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:31 pm

~reneew wrote:I thought this deserved a bump up.

I told my family right away because I was excited and thought I'd get support. Well... I did for a while, then I'd hear:

"Are you supposed to have that?"
"it's not Suesday Mom."
"Are you loosing?"
"that plate sure is full"
"shhhh, don't tempt Mom, she can't have any" (like I can't hear the whispering)
"I'm so glad you're doing well... I've been worried about you"
"how much have you lost?" or worse yet...
"how much do you need to loose?"
"you should try ..."
"Oh, I only made enough for us" (like I can't save some for later)

and the most common one I hear...
"Mom, want some? Oh, that's right... you CAN'T! ha ha ha"
OMG - reading those was so painful!! I have heard some version of most of those lines many times over the years because I was always on some kind of diet and always got excited and told everyone what I was doing right from the start. Not that I had to - all my past weight loss attempts were pretty obvious. I almost always had to eat something different from everybody else.

NOT THIS TIME. With No S I can finally lose weight and not attract any attention at all...at least until people start to comment on my appearance. If anyone asks, I will gladly tell them about No S, but keep it short and sweet.
~ Laura ~

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Hunter Gatherer
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Post by Hunter Gatherer » Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:33 am

I do and I don't.

Like others have said, I bring it up if it comes up, but to be frank "diet-talk" isn't really a hot topic in my social circle so it happens once in a blue moon (there was just a blue moon this new year's eve, wasn't there? - how fitting!). I let someone look at my book once, but I'm not sure if he read or skimmed, and he definitely didn't take it up...

I'm always twitchy about bringing it up because it's such a personal topic, even though there are plenty of people in my life who could benefit from it.
"You've been reading about arctic explorers," I accused him. "If a man's starving he'll eat anything, but when he's just ordinarily hungry he doesn't want to clutter up his stomach with a lot of candy."
Dashiell Hammett

TunaFishKid
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Post by TunaFishKid » Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:55 pm

Hunter Gatherer wrote:..."diet-talk" isn't really a hot topic in my social circle...
I envy you! At any kind of large gathering I always find myself gravitating more towards the men in the group because the women are always talking about how fat they are (most weigh less than me) and how they "can't" eat this or that. So boring I could scream...
~ Laura ~

staclinusa
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Post by staclinusa » Wed Jan 06, 2010 6:44 pm

I'm not telling anyone, except perhaps my husband, because I'm doing this for me, not anyone else.

I might share with friends who are dieting after I see some success, but I'm not sure. Dieting people tend to be among the most judgmental and I don't need that! They also often take it upon themselves to monitor how everyone else is doing, perhaps because they don't want to focus on how they're doing.

I probably won't tell my non-dieting friends anything. People my age who are happy with their weight are people who do all these things naturally and tend to look down on those of us who need it spelled out for us. That's why I may not share with my husband... he's a naturally thin person (he's a runner) and doesn't understand why I can't just lose weight.
Stacey

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