I shouldn't be, but...

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fkwan
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I shouldn't be, but...

Post by fkwan » Tue May 13, 2008 4:10 pm

...I'm depressed about not losing a silly pound in 11 days.

I should be ashamed of myself. I look and feel much better, arthritis reduced 50%, no hot flashes, muscular and no poochy potty abdomen. Yet I feel as if I am carrying about 5L water just in my tits, and because it's menopause, it won't go away. (Third month without a period.)

I can't reduce calories much below 1100 and I'm already exercising more than an hour and a half a day if you count weights as well as walking. The only thing I can think of to improve is getting more sleep.

I'm really ashamed that still after all this time it's all about control. I'm under the illusion that I can control my body and of course I can't. I can't control anything in the universe except my mind, and my mind today has one of its own. :lol:

If anyone would like to tell me There There and Everything Will Be All Right I sure would be grateful. :)

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

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Nichole
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Post by Nichole » Tue May 13, 2008 4:13 pm

I think you're doing very well and that your weight is VERY good (almost too good). Your body might like the weight that it is at.
Last edited by Nichole on Tue May 13, 2008 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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NoelFigart
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Post by NoelFigart » Tue May 13, 2008 4:15 pm

Fkwan....

Have a body fat analysis done. If your body fat percentage is below 18%, it might not be a good idea TO lose any more weight.

I don't know if you knew it, I used to be a weight loss counselor. I'm reading your posts and getting a little concerned about you.

The fact that you're talking control is a big ole red flag.

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OrganicGal
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Post by OrganicGal » Tue May 13, 2008 4:15 pm

I think you are trying to hard!! You should just relax and maintain what you are doing. I think your body is trying to tell you that it can't do anymore weight loss right now...and you're not listening! There could be a multitude of reasons why it can't give you that weight loss right now...the hormonal actions in your body due to menopause...taking time to fully adjust to what you've been doing with your eating and exercise program and taking the time to fully adjust to all that change. Sometimes the body is slower to catch up to change then the mind is.
Give yourself and more importantly your body a break and just work on easy maintenance right now.

That's my advice for what it's worth. You are doing and have done fantastic, so relax and enjoy the fruits of your labours for a while. :)
Creating and sustaining the No S habits are the only thing that will take me in the direction I want to go!

kccc
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Post by kccc » Tue May 13, 2008 4:21 pm

Your body may WANT to be this weight because it's HEALTHY.
I'm really ashamed that still after all this time it's all about control. I'm under the illusion that I can control my body and of course I can't. I can't control anything in the universe except my mind, and my mind today has one of its own. Laughing
Fwan, this need for control is scary - that's the path to serious eating disorders.

You've set a weight goal that is "borderline underweight" for your height on any BMI chart I've ever seen. Perhaps it's a good thing you aren't reaching it.

I wish you peace of mind where you are.

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Tue May 13, 2008 4:26 pm

I agree with NoelFirgart and Organic Gal. I think you might be wanting your body to do more than it's willing to do. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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BrightAngel
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Re: I shouldn't be, but...

Post by BrightAngel » Tue May 13, 2008 4:37 pm

fkwan wrote: If anyone would like to tell me There There and Everything Will Be All Right I sure would be grateful.
There, There, Everything will be all right. Image

I've been working for a year and a half to drop my weight down from 115 to 107,
but no matter what I've done, my body refuses to stay there.
Sometimes we just have to take what we get.

Look at the bright side: :idea:
we are both small women and we look really good now.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Tue May 13, 2008 5:31 pm

Just for the record,

According to http://www.freedieting.com/tools/ideal_body_weight.htm, a small boned woman 5'0"'s ideal weight is between 95-97 pounds.

95 is the low, 100 is the high. Like BrightAngel I would like to have a healthy range, i.e., never ever go below 95 or above 100, which most people consider normal for my height.

Strangely enough, I managed to stay at between 97-100 pounds for about six months until I changed jobs. :( :)

However, I will stop obsessing about this and put it out of my mind. Thanks for all your support. YOU PEOPLE ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST!

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

blueskighs
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Post by blueskighs » Tue May 13, 2008 6:17 pm

fkwan,

if you are close to your weigth, your loss could be slowing down to 1/2 pound or so a week, that would mean it would take TWO WEEKS, i.e. more than 11 days to lose one pound, :D just trying to lighten things up

About 10 years ago when I weighed 107, it took about 3 months for me to go from 111 to 107 ....

anyway ....
I look and feel much better, arthritis reduced 50%, no hot flashes, muscular and no poochy potty abdomen
all of that stuff is Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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OrganicGal
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Post by OrganicGal » Tue May 13, 2008 6:22 pm

Hi f, I personally don't think that website with the ideal body weight calculator is realistic. For a large framed woman of 5' 4"....it says I should weigh between 128-132lbs!!! That's crazy! I would look like a walking skeleton IF I got to that weight. And I don't beleive for a minute that I could. I will look great and feel great at 145-150lbs...which is my goal.

Please stop fretting about your weight and enjoy the process of these new Habits you have, and are developing. :)
Creating and sustaining the No S habits are the only thing that will take me in the direction I want to go!

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Tue May 13, 2008 6:37 pm

OrganicGal wrote:Hi f, I personally don't think that website with the ideal body weight calculator is realistic.
I agree. I'm a 5/3", medium framed woman and it gave me 115-119. I already know that under 120 I look anorexic and don't feel much better. I also don't think a 4 lb "range" is very realistic.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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BrightAngel
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Post by BrightAngel » Tue May 13, 2008 7:05 pm

fkwan wrote:According to http://www.freedieting.com/tools/ideal_body_weight.htm, a small boned woman 5'0"'s ideal weight is between 95-97 pounds.
I agree that a small boned woman looks good between 95-97 lbs,
and I've found a 4 to 5 lb maintenance range to be really reasonable.

However, I've been to quite a few websites that calculate this issue,
and found that the freedieting site is about 5 lbs lower than most.
I'm actually medium boned, and that site said 100 to 104 was ideal for me.
I guess experts differ on what is "ideal".

Most sites I've seen say the "healthiest" weight for medium boned people my height (5'0") is around 110,
and the freedieting site has the only recommendation I've ever seen
that says medium boned 5'0" females should "ideally" be under 105 lbs.
Last edited by BrightAngel on Tue May 13, 2008 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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See: DietHobby. com

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alien-bear
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Post by alien-bear » Tue May 13, 2008 7:07 pm

I want to echo the body slowing down as you get closer to goal weight thing... it may take a few months to lose the last 5 pounds, at least that is what I have always heard. Also, plateaus respond to more calories, less exercise or a new type of exercise, you could try that for a week and see if shaking things up helps.

MoTappin
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Post by MoTappin » Tue May 13, 2008 7:12 pm

I am also a small-boned woman of 5'0". I weigh about 150, and I wear about a size 8. If I were to get down to 95 or 100 pounds I'd look sick. Several years ago before I started having kids, I lost about 60 pounds and got down to 120. I was a solid 4/6 then and felt terrific. Since I do have 3 kids now I think I'm aiming for about 130, but I'd be perfectly happy if I can get back to that 6, no matter what the scale says.

I do strength train (with T-Tapp), which I'm sure makes a difference. Before getting pregnant with my 3rd baby (who is now 10 months old) I was also in a size 6, but I weighed about 138-140 because of the exercises. 20 pounds more than the last time I was that size!

I guess my point is that agonizing about some number on a scale is pointless. The scale has NO IDEA how much muscle is on you or what you do for exercise, and it doesn't care. This is why I focus on a size goal and use a measuring tape. It's not worth punishing yourself over a few pounds, especially when you've lost enough already!
Meredith

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BrightAngel
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Post by BrightAngel » Tue May 13, 2008 8:22 pm

MoTappin wrote:I am also a small-boned woman of 5'0". I weigh about 150, and I wear about a size 8. If I were to get down to 95 or 100 pounds I'd look sick. Several years ago before I started having kids, I lost about 60 pounds and got down to 120. I was a solid 4/6 then and felt terrific. Since I do have 3 kids now I think I'm aiming for about 130, but I'd be perfectly happy if I can get back to that 6, no matter what the scale says.
It always amazes me that people my height can weigh so much more than I do.
and still wear such small sizes.
I know there are lots of differences in store sizes.
For example a normal size 6 Petite is a size 0 at Chicos.
and once in a while I laugh to see a store has a size 2 or 4 that fits.
But in fact, overall from store to store, it's a size 6.
I am in pretty good shape with at least average muscle tone.
It must be the small bones.

Again, as a medium boned, 5'0" woman weighing 115 lbs,
I have a slightly bottom heavy hourglass shape,
and I now normally wear a size 6 Petite on both top and bottom. ..
although in a couple of brands of slim cut jeans...
not relaxed fit, I need a size 8 Petite jeans.,
In Jr sizes I take a medium or large,
and in child's sizes I take a 14/16.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

Amyliz
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Post by Amyliz » Tue May 13, 2008 9:03 pm

I think for most of us who have dieted for years, its apparent that the 'experts' often disagree, and that different websites have different facts.

That particular website claims that an ideal body weight for a 'large' women of 5'2" is 118-122. Even at the worst of my eating disorder, at age 19 - I was only 125lbs. SO i know that 122 is not my ideal at age 27.

fkwan - hang in there! and be encouraged by past success as well as current and future success!! you can always give yourself a pat on the back for the hard work you've put in, achievements do not expire :wink:
Amyliz

START: 03/30/08 - 158- 161lbs range
Current: 145-148lbs range
On 12/22/09 I saw 145 on the scale for the first time in 7 years!

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Tue May 13, 2008 9:34 pm

BrightAngel wrote:It always amazes me that people my height can weigh so much more than I do.
and still wear such small sizes.
I know there are lots of differences in store sizes.
For example a normal size 6 Petite is a size 0 at Chicos.
and once in a while I laugh to see a store has a size 2 or 4 that fits.
But in fact, overall from store to store, it's a size 6.
I am in pretty good shape with at least average muscle tone.
It must be the small bones.

Again, as a medium boned, 5'0" woman weighing 115 lbs,
I have a slightly bottom heavy hourglass shape,
and I now normally wear a size 6 Petite on both top and bottom. ..
although in a couple of brands of slim cut jeans...
not relaxed fit, I need a size 8 Petite jeans.,
In Jr sizes I take a medium or large,
and in child's sizes I take a 14/16.
We must be twins. :)

I wear a 4-6 top, 6 bottom and um, boy's 16 briefs, because men's underwear is made so much better than women's. They just look sooo adorable with the incontinence pads. :lol:

I don't wear petite anymore because they're cut too short for my legs.

No slim cut for me, ever. Comfort waist was the greatest gift to womankind since the sports bra. :)

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Tue May 13, 2008 9:48 pm

Thanks for all the info. I don't want to imply that I'm running after some kind of unhealthy or unrealistic goal -- I was at 97 pounds for almost a year until I returned to my old job and started eating and bingeing again.

Alienbear, I'd never heard that you can unstall a plateau by exercising LESS. Wow. Don't I wish! :)

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

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Mavilu
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Post by Mavilu » Tue May 13, 2008 11:33 pm

Oh, so you are just 5' tall, but still, 97 lbs is a bit too light.
My sister is 5' too (I'm 5'3") and only after a very fretful wedding planning period in which she was just too nervous to eat and was running to and fro with all the pre-wedding activities she went down to 99 lbs, she looked so very thin, my parents were very concerned.
So, yes, your body migh not want to go lighter than that.

But you don't want to hear that, what I would say to you is that, even though you might be extra vigilant about your weight because you are experiencing the beginning stages of your menopause, you might want to be take it easy on you and your body because you are entering your menopause.
I'm told menopause is no walk in the park (we are early menopausers in my family, my granny had hers by 45 my mom had gone through the transition when she died at 46, my sister at 39 and me at 38? I'm already having hot flashes on occasion) besides all the hormonal stuff, there's also the emotional bit, really: this might not be the time to create something extra to worry about.

You look smashing as you are; I've seen your pictures, your arms are to kill for, in fact whenever I do my biceps curls and I go "I don't wanna!" because I just don't like biceps exercises, I now think of your arms and that alone inspires me to curl and curl.

So, instead of telling you There There and Everything Will Be All Right, I'll tell you There There: Everything Is All Right Already!.

Dawn
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Post by Dawn » Wed May 14, 2008 12:06 am

I think anytime you have a plateau that lasts longer than 4 weeks you should do something to shake up your metabolism. Nothing drastic. If you exercise 1 hour a day, still do it, just do something different. If you eat 1,100 calories, still do that, just mix up the menu. But then again, you are so close to your ideal weight, it may take a very long time. But everytime I get on the scale and I have not gained, that is a huge victory for me.

Oh yeah, there there, everything will be alright :lol:
Dawn

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Wed May 14, 2008 1:53 am

Mavilu wrote: You look smashing as you are; I've seen your pictures, your arms are to kill for, in fact whenever I do my biceps curls and I go "I don't wanna!" because I just don't like biceps exercises, I now think of your arms and that alone inspires me to curl and curl.
I had to laugh when I read that, because no one's ever complimented me on my arms before. :) Actually, it's the triceps that are the problem, and this is what they looked like before:

Image

So every other day for the past three years except weekends I've done triceps pulldowns, triceps extensions, kickbacks and dips.

And biceps curls, too, although I know how boring they can be. :)

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

ThomsonsPier
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Post by ThomsonsPier » Wed May 14, 2008 10:38 am

The time you spend exercising seems high to me. How much of that is resistance training? Overtraining can lead to weight gain, especially in combination with a lack of sleep.
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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Wed May 14, 2008 2:23 pm

Fkwan,

It sounds like you know the right thing ("behavior, not results!") but are having trouble believing it.

Maybe phrasing it even more starkly would help: stop thinking of the problem in terms of being overweight. Think of the problem as doing too much eating and too little exercise. The problem isn't a condition, it's a behavior. If you are addressing these, as you really seem to be, there's no more problem.

If your behaviors are good, and you've sustained them, and you still don't like the results, maybe it's time to come to terms with the results (or just wait a little longer -- sustainable results can be very slow in coming). If moderate behavior doesn't get you to some hypothetical goal weight you saw on some website, maybe the problem is with that goal (I wound up 15 pounds less than what I thought was my ideal weight, that can happen too). Behave moderately, see what happens. And if you're really being moderate, accept what happens. The only thing you should ever worry about is, "am I being moderate in my eating and moving?" If so, then it's all good.

Reinhard

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Wed May 14, 2008 4:16 pm

ThomsonsPier wrote:The time you spend exercising seems high to me. How much of that is resistance training? Overtraining can lead to weight gain, especially in combination with a lack of sleep.
You mean strength training? About 20 minutes a day 5 days a week (3 days upper, 2 days lower).

The rest is walking and it's cumulative and about 3.8 mph. I wouldn't call that overtraining. :)

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

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fkwan
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Post by fkwan » Wed May 14, 2008 4:17 pm

Behave moderately, see what happens. And if you're really being moderate, accept what happens. The only thing you should ever worry about is, "am I being moderate in my eating and moving?" If so, then it's all good.
Yesterday I became horribly seriously depressed and stressed out, as I usually do before a big trip (family visit next month). For the first time in my life, I did not binge, snack or overeat.

Thank you, Reinhard. You are truly amazing in your kindness and helpfulness to so many people.

3 bows again,

f
One must know his limitations. -- John Milius
Beginning weight: 115
Currently: Haven't a clue

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