After doing great for six weeks, I am having a VERY rough time controlling my food intake. I had an allergic reaction to something, and took steroids for a few days, and at first I thought that was the problem. That was two weeks ago, though, and I am still having problems.
I've had a bad relationship with food for years now. As a teenager, I put on lots of weight by eating junk food and not exercising. I became anorexic and lost it all, but almost died in the process. Gained it all back. Lost it all AGAIN on a low-carb diet. Gained that back, slowly, over the next few years. Then, when I turned 25, I got sick, really sick. For months nobody knew what it was. I was eventually diagnosed with fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and static migraine, which changed my life forever. At age 30, I have headaches that last for days. Because of fatigue, some days even climbing the stairs feels like a monumental effort and I have to take rest breaks. If I do too much activity, I can end up in bed for days. I get Social Security Disability, but last week I had to return to work part-time for six months in order to get long-term disability through my job (I've been with the company for six years, but because I was on COBRA for a while I am not eligible for long-term because my condition is "pre-existing") I take a lot of medication for my condition, including heavy-duty painkillers.
Being gay, being even slightly overweight is enough to render you romantic poison. I've been single, save for a two-month "sort of" relationship, for over 5 years. The stupid thing is, I am not really huge: at just under 5'10 I weight 200 pounds. Unfortunately, the Dallas gay community (as with most anywhere) is look obsessed and I've had people tell me to my face "you're too fat!" Oddly enough, even the "average Joes" won't date within their appearance equals: they are holding out for some perfect 10. I would be happy with just someone average. Needless to say, all this rejection has really caused me to be depressed.
I have terrible, terrible food cravings. I am sure before I started No S, I could have been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder. I can put away huge amounts of sugary, starchy stuff at a single sitting. The weird thing is, I don't think it's really just mindless snacking or comfort eating. It's almost like an addiction; the food cravings are similar, but worse, than the nicotine cravings I had when I stopped smoking. I am wondering if maybe some people like myself really do have something biologically going on that makes them have drug-like cravings for starch and sugar. I've been doing really well, as I mentioned, on No S but now the cravings are back and worse than ever. I've lost 14 pounds and do NOT want to gain weight, but what I am dealing with is tough. I know how to eat, and what to eat, but I really have nothing but willpower to try and suppress the awful sugar cravings.
Right now, on Monday, I am gritting my teeth and doing everything I can not to "cheat." I am really loving No S, and think it's the best "diet" I've ever done. If I can't get back on track, though, I am going to have to consider seeing an eating disorder therapist and maybe even consider appetite-suppressant medication to help me stick with the program. I don't want things to get out of hand like they were before I started.
Sorry about the long rant. I'm just having a rough day, and felt like venting.
Still Having a Rough Time...And, More About Me
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Many people have had or are having your experience. You are not some strange, impossible case. Take it from a binge eater. There is a chemical basis for what you are feeling, but the cure is the same. No S. I'm not saying this to be cute. Going for 5-6 hours without food between meals and then eating moderate amounts of food, including some what you might call luscious foods, OVER TIME, changes the chemical balance and decreases the brain signals that urge us to overeat. Faster than many programs that recommend frequent small meals "to keep you from bingeing." You're already doing it! and this phase will pass.
I'm sorry you're facing such cruel people around you,. There have got to be others who will accept you as you are somewhere in your city. Don't even talk about streaks with no romantic relationship. I've got you so beat I won't even say how long it's been. I won't say appearance is the only issue but the feelings associated with not meeting some standard can get in the way. But dealing with your lack of feelings of belonging is a separate issue. Find help for that and keep No S-ing. I don't mean to dis the competition, but I feel like the work I did on binge eating disorder diverted me for too long on focusing on feelings rather than the habit of 3 meals a day no matter what. At some point, no matter what you're feeling, you've just got to refrain from eating at unnecessary times! That's No S.
For emotional issues, I finally turned for to Zen, but you pretty much have to be desperate! I hope you find your solace somewhere, soon.
I'm sorry you're facing such cruel people around you,. There have got to be others who will accept you as you are somewhere in your city. Don't even talk about streaks with no romantic relationship. I've got you so beat I won't even say how long it's been. I won't say appearance is the only issue but the feelings associated with not meeting some standard can get in the way. But dealing with your lack of feelings of belonging is a separate issue. Find help for that and keep No S-ing. I don't mean to dis the competition, but I feel like the work I did on binge eating disorder diverted me for too long on focusing on feelings rather than the habit of 3 meals a day no matter what. At some point, no matter what you're feeling, you've just got to refrain from eating at unnecessary times! That's No S.
For emotional issues, I finally turned for to Zen, but you pretty much have to be desperate! I hope you find your solace somewhere, soon.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23
There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)
I was also a binge eater and had what seemed an addiction to sugar and starch. People would tell me there was no such thing. I could be disciplined in do many areas of my life but if there was a loaf of crunchy white bread in the house I would eat the lot. I could not have just one piece. The same with chocolate, lollies etc. Anything sweet. I felt overwhelming cravings. When I was in a cycle like that I would start each day with good intentions but I was like an addict and would fail.
I am not like that now. I have be no-sing for nearly two years and I just don't have the same attitude to food. Occasionally I eat too much but it doesn't seem to trigger the same addictions I used to have. I just feel differently about food now.
When I first started no S I did well like you and then I also started having cravings. For me I decided that having bread on n days made it too hard so that became an s day treat. I looked at different foods that I really liked but I had restricted because they weren't diet foods and had those at my meals. I didn't feel deprived and I worked on habit. It wasn't easy but I just made it through. I did drink the odd glass of milk between meals to tide me over. I just kept trying to stick with the basics and build habit.
After a while it just became routine. This is just the way I eat now and I don't suffer like I used to. Even if I over eat sweet stuff on an s day when it turns to an n day I go back to the basics again without the cravings.
It has been a dramatic change for me psychologically. I hope you have the same experience. You may be different physiologically from me but maybe if you can battle through the tough times you will also get the relief that no s brings. Normal eating patterns for life.
I am not like that now. I have be no-sing for nearly two years and I just don't have the same attitude to food. Occasionally I eat too much but it doesn't seem to trigger the same addictions I used to have. I just feel differently about food now.
When I first started no S I did well like you and then I also started having cravings. For me I decided that having bread on n days made it too hard so that became an s day treat. I looked at different foods that I really liked but I had restricted because they weren't diet foods and had those at my meals. I didn't feel deprived and I worked on habit. It wasn't easy but I just made it through. I did drink the odd glass of milk between meals to tide me over. I just kept trying to stick with the basics and build habit.
After a while it just became routine. This is just the way I eat now and I don't suffer like I used to. Even if I over eat sweet stuff on an s day when it turns to an n day I go back to the basics again without the cravings.
It has been a dramatic change for me psychologically. I hope you have the same experience. You may be different physiologically from me but maybe if you can battle through the tough times you will also get the relief that no s brings. Normal eating patterns for life.
I do think sugar/refined carbs are addictive to some people. I used to feel that I had to go on regular "sugar fasts" to break the cycle... I'd be fine, then my consumption would gradually rise until I felt I was eating addictively again, and I'd repeat. (Don't need sugar fasts with No-S. And don't have that problem with whole grains.)
It was always hard, but after 3 days the cravings would subside. So, stick it out!! It will get better. As others have pointed out, your chemistry will change in positive ways. So, hang in there!
As to the other... I'm sorry. One thing about No-S is that, as food recedes as a major focus for worry/attention, other things that have been hiding behind it emerge. That can be tough. All I can say there is that facing and dealing is better than denying or stuffing down with food. Meditation, stress reduction exercises, and other coping strategies may help. I hope you find something that supports you.
Try to recognize this period as one of positive growth. It's not always pleasant to move out of one's comfort zone, but that's where learning/growth happens. If you can just be with your emotions and examine them rather than trying to push them away, it will help. And if you get through this uncomfortable period, you are likely to be in a better place.
Very best wishes.
It was always hard, but after 3 days the cravings would subside. So, stick it out!! It will get better. As others have pointed out, your chemistry will change in positive ways. So, hang in there!
As to the other... I'm sorry. One thing about No-S is that, as food recedes as a major focus for worry/attention, other things that have been hiding behind it emerge. That can be tough. All I can say there is that facing and dealing is better than denying or stuffing down with food. Meditation, stress reduction exercises, and other coping strategies may help. I hope you find something that supports you.
Try to recognize this period as one of positive growth. It's not always pleasant to move out of one's comfort zone, but that's where learning/growth happens. If you can just be with your emotions and examine them rather than trying to push them away, it will help. And if you get through this uncomfortable period, you are likely to be in a better place.
Very best wishes.
RJ - Although I haven't been on this forum for very long I can totally relate with what you are saying. I spent the first 30+ years of my life literally addicted to sugar - it was my crack cocaine. I've spent the last 8 (eight) years breaking my addiction to it, and once I found No S it finally clicked. At the beginning of the year, I decided that I absolutely had to give up sugar once again (I've done this several times over the past 8 years). In the past I've been very sucessful with low-carb diets, but could never sustain for the long run - I missed my sugar too much.
This time I thought I'd try something different, and so far it's worked. Granted it's only been 3 1/2 months but it hasn't been horrific like each prior attempt. I decided at the beginning of the year to give up sugar, blantent things like candy, sugar cereal, desserts, etc.. But I still let myself have fruit, whole grain bread, pasta, wild rice, unsweetened cereal, etc.. It actually worked - I've gone 6 weeks with no "sugar" and not missed it one bit. I've spent the last three months incorporating No S into my plan to build up my good habits - and that has worked as well.
I can tell you I was like you, sick all of the time, always fatigued, I mean my immune system was a disaster. Sugar can cause all of the symptoms you describe. My advice is to try giving up sugar, not all carbs and No S'ing and see if it gets better. I KNOW from my own experiences that diet does have everything to do with health. So just focus on eating as much fresh food as possible.
This time I thought I'd try something different, and so far it's worked. Granted it's only been 3 1/2 months but it hasn't been horrific like each prior attempt. I decided at the beginning of the year to give up sugar, blantent things like candy, sugar cereal, desserts, etc.. But I still let myself have fruit, whole grain bread, pasta, wild rice, unsweetened cereal, etc.. It actually worked - I've gone 6 weeks with no "sugar" and not missed it one bit. I've spent the last three months incorporating No S into my plan to build up my good habits - and that has worked as well.
I can tell you I was like you, sick all of the time, always fatigued, I mean my immune system was a disaster. Sugar can cause all of the symptoms you describe. My advice is to try giving up sugar, not all carbs and No S'ing and see if it gets better. I KNOW from my own experiences that diet does have everything to do with health. So just focus on eating as much fresh food as possible.
I'm another one who thinks there may be something addictive about sugar. I used to volunteer with an agency in which we were assigned clients. My client at one point had to enter a drug treatment program, and, in a show of solidarity, I decided to give up chocolate while he was in treatment. It was very hard at first, but as time went on the craving disappeared. Unfortunately, as soon as he was out, my hand was back in the candy jar.
However, I also think there are many reasons for cravings that have nothing to do with addiction. Any emotional eater (and I'm one of them) has learned to use food as a coping mechanism. Take that away, and it's scary! It's not surprising that we want to go back to the old ways that offered immediate, available distraction.
In the end, though, the reason for the craving may not be very important. Do you give in or not? That's the question you're left with.
About your romantic problems - I hate to tell you this, but they won't disappear even after your weight is ideal. At my lowest weight I had all kinds of men after me who wouldn't have given me a second glance when I was heavier. Yep, all kinds of men who thought the most important thing about me was how I looked. Even way back then I had enough sense to realize that's not what I wanted. And I suspect that's not what you want either.
I hope you're able to work through your cravings and stick with this. And I really hope the venting helped; sometimes that's all it takes.
Finally, every time I read one of your posts I wonder if you're a Harry Potter fan, and it makes me smile.
However, I also think there are many reasons for cravings that have nothing to do with addiction. Any emotional eater (and I'm one of them) has learned to use food as a coping mechanism. Take that away, and it's scary! It's not surprising that we want to go back to the old ways that offered immediate, available distraction.
In the end, though, the reason for the craving may not be very important. Do you give in or not? That's the question you're left with.
About your romantic problems - I hate to tell you this, but they won't disappear even after your weight is ideal. At my lowest weight I had all kinds of men after me who wouldn't have given me a second glance when I was heavier. Yep, all kinds of men who thought the most important thing about me was how I looked. Even way back then I had enough sense to realize that's not what I wanted. And I suspect that's not what you want either.
I hope you're able to work through your cravings and stick with this. And I really hope the venting helped; sometimes that's all it takes.
Finally, every time I read one of your posts I wonder if you're a Harry Potter fan, and it makes me smile.
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Blithe Morning
- Posts: 1221
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:56 pm
- Location: South Dakota
RJ, just wanted to offer some commiseration. I'm reading The End of Overeating by Dr. David Kessler and he talks about the neuroscience of how our brains respond to "highly palatable foods" i.e. foods high in salt, fat and sugar.
Hope you get some relief. It can't be easy struggling with health problems.
Hope you get some relief. It can't be easy struggling with health problems.
Thanks, everybody, for the support! I feel better today than yesterday; I spent the whole day gardening and stayed very busy, so no time to crave much of anything. I can sort of trace the latest outbreak of trouble to switching to "real" soda off diet soda, so I am going back to diet to see if it helps with my sugar cravings.
Yeah, the romantic stuff sucks. I used to be quite thin (through very hard work, I am not a naturally thin person) and I can tell you, the way I got treated then versus how I get treated NOW is night and day. I am only about 30 pounds too heavy, too....I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone who was 100+ pounds overweight.
Yeah, the romantic stuff sucks. I used to be quite thin (through very hard work, I am not a naturally thin person) and I can tell you, the way I got treated then versus how I get treated NOW is night and day. I am only about 30 pounds too heavy, too....I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone who was 100+ pounds overweight.
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NoelFigart
- Posts: 1639
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:23 pm
- Location: Lebanon, NH
- Contact:
*snerk*
Not sure how to put this, Lupin, without starting a big ole controversy, but I AM over 100lbs overweight and don't have much trouble finding partners. (Yes, plural).
I'm not saying this to hijack your thread or start a debate, other than to point out that "pretty" or "thin" isn't the rent you pay for romantic relationships.
Not sure how to put this, Lupin, without starting a big ole controversy, but I AM over 100lbs overweight and don't have much trouble finding partners. (Yes, plural).
I'm not saying this to hijack your thread or start a debate, other than to point out that "pretty" or "thin" isn't the rent you pay for romantic relationships.
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My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
I have to agree with the others. A quality partner is not going to judge you based on your weight. My own DH has been with me and loved me at weights varying from being rail thin to being obese. And, yeah I'm straight, but I have had plenty of gay, lesbian and transgendered friends, neighbors, co-workers and teachers over the years who have been in loving, long-term relationships despite being chunky or obese. Weight wasn't an obstacle for any of them finding romantic love.Yeah, the romantic stuff sucks. I used to be quite thin (through very hard work, I am not a naturally thin person) and I can tell you, the way I got treated then versus how I get treated NOW is night and day. I am only about 30 pounds too heavy, too....I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone who was 100+ pounds overweight.
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
Hi RL,
Humor me and go to www.dogtorj.com and click on "the answer" on the left column.
I sufferED from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression, headaches and ankylosing spondylitis. Read on:
I went GLUTEN (wheat, rye, barley) and Dairy (casein) free and I have NO FM pain, I have normal energy throughout the day and it's rare I have headaches. The pain in my hips/spine from ankylosing spondylitis is so much better I do not even need so much as a motrin.
Your body is screaming at you that something is not right.
Take 2 weeks gluten and dairy free, support your body with plenty of veggies (I love stir fry), fruits, meats (get the fatty cuts to help fill you up), fish, nuts, seeds, healthy oils.
Then evaluate and see how you feel.
I combine GF/CF (gluten free/dairy free) with noS and doing well this way.
Please, please please humor me. I believe you are gluten and casein intolerant, if not a celiac. Please try this for 2 weeks minimum. If you don't feel any better then go back to the way you were eating, if you DO feel better, then you know!
Many hugs and good thoughts to you!
Humor me and go to www.dogtorj.com and click on "the answer" on the left column.
I sufferED from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression, headaches and ankylosing spondylitis. Read on:
I went GLUTEN (wheat, rye, barley) and Dairy (casein) free and I have NO FM pain, I have normal energy throughout the day and it's rare I have headaches. The pain in my hips/spine from ankylosing spondylitis is so much better I do not even need so much as a motrin.
Your body is screaming at you that something is not right.
Take 2 weeks gluten and dairy free, support your body with plenty of veggies (I love stir fry), fruits, meats (get the fatty cuts to help fill you up), fish, nuts, seeds, healthy oils.
Then evaluate and see how you feel.
I combine GF/CF (gluten free/dairy free) with noS and doing well this way.
Please, please please humor me. I believe you are gluten and casein intolerant, if not a celiac. Please try this for 2 weeks minimum. If you don't feel any better then go back to the way you were eating, if you DO feel better, then you know!
Many hugs and good thoughts to you!
{FarmerHal} ...previously Shamrockmommy...
Vanilla NoS... Making good habits.
Restart 12/2015, size 22
3/2016 size 18
1/2018 size 18
Vanilla NoS... Making good habits.
Restart 12/2015, size 22
3/2016 size 18
1/2018 size 18
I guess Dallas is just especially bad, then, since everybody here is look obsessed. It probably doesn't help that I am not the most masculine person, either.....I'm a big queen. There are guys who like bigger (and I don't mean fat, just average) guys, but they tend to go for the whole cowboy/bear thing. I was never gorgeous, but at least when I was thin I had dates and things. Now, if I ever manage to get one, I never hear from the person again.sophiasapientia wrote:I have to agree with the others. A quality partner is not going to judge you based on your weight. My own DH has been with me and loved me at weights varying from being rail thin to being obese. And, yeah I'm straight, but I have had plenty of gay, lesbian and transgendered friends, neighbors, co-workers and teachers over the years who have been in loving, long-term relationships despite being chunky or obese. Weight wasn't an obstacle for any of them finding romantic love.Yeah, the romantic stuff sucks. I used to be quite thin (through very hard work, I am not a naturally thin person) and I can tell you, the way I got treated then versus how I get treated NOW is night and day. I am only about 30 pounds too heavy, too....I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone who was 100+ pounds overweight.