FAIL 9 Days In... I am so upset with myself

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 2:52 am

So I was going along feeling great with this plan and my clothes were fitting slightly better when BAM 9 days in I got sooooo hungry and suddenly I found myself falling off the No S wagon and binged big time.

I am incredibly upset with myself but all I can do at this point is learn from the experience... track what happened and make changes so that I can be successful with this.

I realize that the only thing that likely set me off was that I started incorporating cocoa powder into my protein shakes and then cocoa with cream as a hot chocolate with my dinners and suddenly all my cravings came back with a vengeance. Even though there was no sugar in it I suppose it felt too dessert like for me and I obviously can't handle it as it's too addictive for me.

So I'll take this as a lesson and start over because really what choice do I have. I'm staying away from cocoa powder and perhaps I'll reintroduce it in maintenance or for S days only.

I was on track today and had a vanilla protein shake for breakfast today.

The only thing I'm wrestling with now is that I'm wondering if I should be doing this plan low carb because I keep hearing people talking about it.

Thanks for reading!

Sharpie · Post by **Sharpie** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:19 am

Maybe there's a mental/physical hurdle at just over a week? I was having a terrible time of it yesterday. Wanted to eat everything and then some, and then maybe dessert on top of it. You did a week without fail though! That's a great start, maybe it can be one of the twelve attempts people quote about?

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:24 am

I've attempted everything 12 times, and I've done this program a few times in the past.

I can never stick to anything and i want success so I am going to start over and see this through!

You can do it too!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 4:22 am

Failures are to be expected. Don't beat yourself up. Just mark it and move on. Don't expect perfection or you'll always be upset with yourself.

LoriLifts · Post by **LoriLifts** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 4:37 am

Wosnes said it best...Mark it and move on.

Keep on truckin'

Lori

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 8:25 am

Take a deep breath, relax and yes, "mark it and move on". You may have many more failures, it takes time... what counts is how fast you get back on the horse, so to speak.
Wishing you the best in this No S journey...

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 2:07 pm

marked it in red, had a green day yesterday and am on track again today.

i can't tell you how good it feels to be in control.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 6:57 pm

Did the circumstances leading up to and surrounding this binge have anything in common with the circumstances around your earlier S day binge? If they did, you might be able to figure out some things that make you more likely to binge, and try to defuse those situations. You may need a few more binges, though, before the pattern is clear.

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:24 pm

Part of the problem is that I ate too little for breakfast in an attempt to keep my calories lower so I was hungry all day and I guess I didn't eat a hearty enough lunch either.

The same thing sort of happened on a previous binge day when I waited too long to eat so clearly along with the 3 meals I have to make sure they are filling enough and not worry too much (or at all actually) about calories because by having the 3 meals without seconds lower calories are naturally achieved.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:13 am

As KCCC said in her FAQs post, it's not if you're going to have a failure, but when. I don't understand why we expect NOT to have failures, especially early on. In fact, if you follow this for the rest of your life and have one failure every nine days, you're still way ahead of the game.

No matter what we do or what roles we have in life, we rarely do or fill the roles perfectly. A day in which everything is done perfectly and we're the perfect spouse, parent, friend, sibling, employee or employer, follower of our religion, etc., is probably one in a million (it doesn't occur in our lifetimes). Yet when it comes to dieting we expect to be perfect.

A friend sent this -- it came from a devotion: No prison is as endless as the prison of perfection.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:41 pm

I started almost 3 weeks ago and breezed through the first 2 weeks in spite of the holidays. I also got going on an exercise program and felt good. This week has been wonderful socially with unexpected guests, but socializing has meant a lot of eating. The good thing is that I was able to mark the red days on the calendar and just move on. I did not feel so much like giving up. I felt like just doing as well as I can during challenges and getting back on track when I can.

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:02 pm

gettheweightoff wrote:Part of the problem is that I ate too little for breakfast in an attempt to keep my calories lower so I was hungry all day and I guess I didn't eat a hearty enough lunch either.

The same thing sort of happened on a previous binge day when I waited too long to eat so clearly along with the 3 meals I have to make sure they are filling enough and not worry too much (or at all actually) about calories because by having the 3 meals without seconds lower calories are naturally achieved.

I'm so glad you reached this conclusion on your own. That's exactly what I thought when I read your initial post.

You may see the term "diet head" from time to time in various posts. It's the mental framework most of us have from years of dieting, and it tells us that we can't eat butter (or carbs, or in a restaurant, or sweet potato fries). Getting rid of diet head is one of the joys of No S, as you learn that you CAN eat all the foods you enjoy in moderation.

I am enjoying watching you go through this process of learning and change and wish you all the best on your No S journey.

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:22 pm

Aw thanks Starla, that is so sweet of you.

Yes, I am starting to worry less about all of this and just concentrate on my 3 plates and see how I feel before I prepare each meal as to what I want to eat.

I usually plan out my meals the night before and put it in excel and then I track my calories in the same program. I have decided to abandon this too because if I have roughly 1200 calories I feel like I did a "good job" but if I ate 1500 calories I feel like I failed.

Because I have taken the good advice I have received here to heart I realize that there is no "perfect" and when I feel like I failed that is a trigger for me
to feel badly about myself and binge.

The No S "diet" is the best thing for me. Not only does it give me control over the snacking/eating but I am starting to have control over my "diet head" and get over my phobias of carbs/fats etc. I'm not saying I'm going to eat french fries daily, not even weekly but if I do have them I'm not going to beat myself up.

Like you guys have said, if it's on my plate it's fine.

Thank you everyone!

Over43 · Post by **Over43** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:31 pm

Poop happens Gettheweightoff. We have all done this. Heading down the path smoothly, and then WHAM JERRY! (As Kramer might say...) You gorge. It is part of life. What is also a part of life is picking up, dusting off, and moving on.

Good luck to you. Remember, the best part of reaching a goal is the journey.

O43

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:49 pm

Starla wrote:
gettheweightoff wrote:Part of the problem is that I ate too little for breakfast in an attempt to keep my calories lower so I was hungry all day and I guess I didn't eat a hearty enough lunch either.

The same thing sort of happened on a previous binge day when I waited too long to eat so clearly along with the 3 meals I have to make sure they are filling enough and not worry too much (or at all actually) about calories because by having the 3 meals without seconds lower calories are naturally achieved.
I'm so glad you reached this conclusion on your own. That's exactly what I thought when I read your initial post.

That's exactly what I thought too, Starla!

Gettheweightoff, how cool that you figured it out for yourself. If you're already figuring out these kinds of things, I think you are really going to do well on No-S.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:15 pm

gettheweightoff wrote:Part of the problem is that I ate too little for breakfast in an attempt to keep my calories lower so I was hungry all day and I guess I didn't eat a hearty enough lunch either.

The same thing sort of happened on a previous binge day when I waited too long to eat so clearly along with the 3 meals I have to make sure they are filling enough and not worry too much (or at all actually) about calories because by having the 3 meals without seconds lower calories are naturally achieved.

I think you need to drop calorie counting for now. I'm not saying it doesn't work for anybody, or that it will never work for you, but it clearly isn't working for you right now. You're eating too little to keep your calories low, and it's making you binge.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:22 pm

Nicest of the Damned wrote:You're eating too little to keep your calories low,
and it's making you binge.

I hope you will do whatever you feel works for you.

Since we are going on record with our opinions,
I disagree with the above-quoted comment re the following issues...
1.) that your calories are too low,
and
2.) and that this will cause you to binge.

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:24 am

They are bang on the money and for me calorie counting be it points, carbs, or counting just do NOT work for me. It makes me crazy and because I am a perfectionist I tend to get very upset with myself if I can't stick to a set calorie level, carb count, points whatever... it is too restrictive for me and I end up binge eating.

If I can just do the No-S vanilla and learn habits without all this crazy binge eating the weight should come off. Maybe it won't be a crazy amount of weight but whatever my weight naturally settles in at with no binge eating should be and will be fine for me.

For now I think not counting anything, eating sensibly and just doing the program without extra limitations is the only thing that is going to work for me.

For others, they may work better with calorie counting or low carb or whatever. I just know me and my history and I know what I can handle and what I can't.

Graham · Post by **Graham** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:21 pm

Gettingtheweightoff, I think your original "cocoa theory" has something going for it. My personal experience is that I've noticed a pressing needy feeling on the day following heavy chocolate consumption. (not to mention the spots, chocolate always gives me spots as well)

The annoying thing for me is that cocoa can trigger a craving for cigarettes! I gave them up 6 years ago, and slowly began to forget about them, to cease to feel deprived for the lack of them - but excessive use of chocolate can bring that craving back sharp and clear, so I do try not to go overboard on them. (I am also very grateful for government measures which made smoking in public places a far less frequent problem - seeing and smelling others doing it was another potent trigger.)

What triggers my overuse of chocolates? A combination of hunger, laziness and opportunity. It would be an S day, I didn't cook or had nothing decent in the kitchen, felt hungry and had a supply of chocolates. Clearly there are plenty of things I can do to avoid such situations.

As for low calorie intake triggering bingeing - again, my own experience has been that feeling needy can trigger overeating. Not mere hunger but that sense of being deprived, like a child sent to bed without supper. If cutting calories triggers neediness, then I'd expect that to lead to the desire to binge or just slipping into breaking a No S rule without even noticing. That's just me, of course, we're all different, finding our own answers is part of the fun.

Graham

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:40 pm

Graham wrote:My own experience has been that feeling needy can trigger overeating.
Not mere hunger but that sense of being deprived,
like a child sent to bed without supper.

If cutting calories triggers neediness,
then I'd expect that to lead to the desire to binge
or just slipping into breaking a No S rule without even noticing.

I believe this is True.

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:17 pm

I'm so glad to hear that someone else is triggered by cocoa --- oh no that came out wrong, as I'm sorry to hear you are triggered but I mean I don't feel alone or crazy.

I have gone 4 days without cocoa or chocolate of any kind and I have no cravings.

Today is an S day and I was planning a chocolate protein bar as my treat but I just haven't felt the need to buy one (yet) so I really do believe for me that it is a trigger.

I think coming to terms with triggers and then staying away from them is the only way to get past it.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:41 pm

gettheweightoff wrote:I'm so glad to hear that someone else is triggered by cocoa --- oh no that came out wrong, as I'm sorry to hear you are triggered but I mean I don't feel alone or crazy.

I have gone 4 days without cocoa or chocolate of any kind and I have no cravings.

Today is an S day and I was planning a chocolate protein bar as my treat but I just haven't felt the need to buy one (yet) so I really do believe for me that it is a trigger.

I think coming to terms with triggers and then staying away from them is the only way to get past it.

Is a chocolate protein bar really a treat for you?

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:55 pm

It totally is.

I forget the name of it, but it tates just like a chocolate bar except it fills me up so I don't want another one right after it, like I would with a regular chocolate bar.

Everyday Systems

FAIL 9 Days In... I am so upset with myself

FAIL 9 Days In... I am so upset with myself

Struggling too