Starting again!

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Sun May 01, 2011 5:05 pm

Hello,

I have decided to give this diet one last time and see if it will help me get rid of my weird cravings and emotional eating once and for all, and to learn how to manage portion control.

I don't want to lose too much weight. I just want to have a healthy relationship with food.

Thanks,
Valerie

gk · Post by gk » Mon May 02, 2011 3:24 am

I'm right there with ya. I'm in this more for forming better eating habits (emotional eating and portion control are a problem for me) than to lose weight (10 lbs. would be nice though).

I've tried time and time again......just can't give up on this diet because it is TOO simple not to work.

Good luck!!

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Mon May 02, 2011 3:54 pm

Thanks for the encouragement and good luck to you too!

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon May 02, 2011 7:00 pm

I'll tell you a couple of things that might help with the cravings.

Even if that old idea about how you crave what your body needs is true, if you're living in a first-world country (and don't have a metabolic disorder or eating disorder), it's extremely unlikely that you have a nutrient deficiency to such a degree that it would be dangerous for you to wait till your next meal to get that nutrient. In other words, you may be craving cheese because your body needs calcium, but you can get that calcium at your next meal. You're not going to die of calcium deficiency between now and dinner time. Really.

At least some cravings are mental, not physical. I'm sure you've had cravings set off by smelling food, or by seeing a picture of it. I certainly have. That's your mind craving some food, not your body. I remind myself of that when I'm having a craving. I mentally step back from it and say, "I notice that my mind is craving <whatever>". Then I distract myself by doing or thinking about something else, ideally something that doesn't have anything to do with food.

I've also had some success telling myself, "You know you can't have that now, but you can have it on your next S day." I've found that helpful when I crave sweets. Then I distract myself by doing or thinking something else. Often as not, I've forgotten about that craving by the time I get to my next S day. Or maybe I remember it, but I don't really want whatever it was any more.

Remember, you can't fail on No S without putting actual food into your mouth. Having a craving is not a failure, nor does it mean you are weak or bad. It's whether or not you eat something that matters, not whether you're thinking about eating something. Having cravings but not eating because of them is almost as good as not having the cravings.

You don't choose your thoughts or cravings, but you do choose your actions. Just because you're having a craving doesn't automatically mean you have to do something to satisfy it right now. If you don't, at worst you'll be a bit uncomfortable for a few hours. That's all. You've almost certainly been through worse before.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 03, 2011 5:20 am

Nicest/Damned, your tactics are very sensible, I believe. I've posted here before that the thoughts and feelings of anxiety if a person doesn't get that food are the result of a brain pattern (otherwise known as "just my mind") very similar to the ones that OCD-ers experience. They are taught to do exactly what you do: acknowledge the thoughts/urge/cravings, realize they do not indicate the reality that you must have that food, and then divert to another activity. Obviously, it will work with emotion-driven urges, just as OCD-ers have such anxiety that things will get worse if they don't wash their hands or pull out their hair. Sometimes, the emotions a compulsive eater is experiencing come from situations that she should be doing something concrete about, but many times, the problem is something ongoing and won't be fixed right then so the best strategy is probably diverting to an activity that will accomplish something for her, either productively or for pleasure.

Valerie, No S has helped me with emotional eating tremendously. The discipline of 3 meals a day, no matter what the reason, has taken away so much confounding dickering over whether or not I should or can eat something, and what I was moody over. You might have to give up thinking you are going figure out all the emotions. I do recommend perhaps reading some books on how to deal with distressing thoughts and situations so that you don't unnecessarily continue to whip up difficult emotions, but in the end the most useful thing is to find something else to put your attention on besides eating! It can be something small or even developing a talent you've dreamed of getting proficient at. You never know what our anxieties are covering up; it could lead to a whole new life that has nothing to do with food!

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Wed May 04, 2011 7:37 pm

Nicest/Damned & Oolala53, thank you so much for all your advices and I will keep them in mind when days get hard. I'm on day 3 and they are just what I need to hear to get through today. I have been awfully thinking a lot about the sweets sitting on top of the fridge and patiently waiting for me on my first S day. Not wanting to screw up, I just got out of the house and went for a walk instead to divert my attention and it did the trick! It felt so good to have a tiny bit of control. I've never had control for a long time and it is a feat for me to even see this change in me.

Too solid flesh · Post by **Too solid flesh** » Wed May 04, 2011 7:51 pm

valerie_19s wrote:the sweets sitting on top of the fridge

Best wishes for your new start. Going for a walk is a great response to a craving.

Are the sweets on the fridge out of sight? It can be much easier to resist the siren call if food is not visible.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Thu May 05, 2011 12:58 pm

Too solid flesh wrote:Are the sweets on the fridge out of sight? It can be much easier to resist the siren call if food is not visible.

I second this. Seeing food can trigger a craving.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Thu May 05, 2011 2:37 pm

Also, not having loads of treats laying around makes sense.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Thu May 05, 2011 3:44 pm

Who Me? wrote:Also, not having loads of treats laying around makes sense.

I really try not to have sweets around during the week - that way if I'm going to fail I have to actually go out and purchase a snack or sweet. So much more difficult to justify to myself.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Thu May 05, 2011 4:15 pm

Yes, unfortunately my favorite peanut butter is sitting on top of the fridge along with cookies, chocolates and other sweets that are visible for the rest of the family to devour. On days I would crave for its taste, I would eat it straight out from the jam and cannot stop myself. I have a weakness for peanut butter and avoiding it altogether is the only way I can pass my first week. It would also be difficult to stash it away without any of my family asking why. You see I haven't told them about this diet as I see no reason to involve them anyway. I am doing fine so far and I just hope it gets easier.

[/quote]

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Thu May 05, 2011 7:31 pm

valerie_19s wrote:Yes, unfortunately my favorite peanut butter is sitting on top of the fridge along with cookies, chocolates and other sweets that are visible for the rest of the family to devour. On days I would crave for its taste, I would eat it straight out from the jam and cannot stop myself. I have a weakness for peanut butter and avoiding it altogether is the only way I can pass my first week. It would also be difficult to stash it away without any of my family asking why. You see I haven't told them about this diet as I see no reason to involve them anyway. I am doing fine so far and I just hope it gets easier.

Ah. Well, in that case, is spending less time in the kitchen an option? I only spend time in the kitchen when I'm preparing a meal or cleaning up after a meal. I spend my other time elsewhere, where there is no food to tempt me.

If I want food and it's not mealtime, I'd have to get up and walk down to the kitchen. This serves two purposes. First, it makes my laziness fight on my side against my hunger. Second, it increases the time between thinking, "I want a snack" and eating one. Increasing that time gives you more time to think, "wait, I really shouldn't be doing this," rather than just acting on impulse. This works well enough that snacking on S days is fairly rare for me these days.

If you have a habit of eating peanut butter directly from the jar, you might also want to try one of my mods (once you've been on No S a while, of course). The rule I follow says no eating out of packages- food has to go on an individual plate or bowl (a serving platter is not OK) before I can eat it. I refer to this mod as NEP, which could mean No Eating out of Packages or No Eating without Plates. I used to have a strong habit of eating out of packages, but I've pretty much managed to break myself of it.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Sat May 07, 2011 5:06 pm

Nicest of the Damned, I don't spend too much time at the kitchen but my biggest concern is the small fridge at our dining area where on top of it, snacks/sweets are placed for everyone to see/eat. And I normally have to pass this area before I can get to my room and it is a constant reminder of my restrictions.

Good thing I am on my first S day and had the taste of my craving already! It is totally worth it and don't worry, I didn't finish the whole thing nor did I eat straight from the jar. I will also try out your mod and put everything in a plate. It may take me a while to get used to it but I am willing to do it just to kick my insane eating habit for good, I hope.

Thank you all for your insights - everyone has been really helpful! Visiting this board really keeps me inspired to keep it up.